What do you think?
Rate this book
Sparkle
Tedward Culling hates everything, but geometry (the one class keeping him from graduating), Genicelle Eaglin (the high school girl with an obsessive crush on him), and Jesper (his homicidal older brother who also happens to be the world's top assassin). With Jesper now in town and on the prowl, Tedward is asked by the vampire elite to create an army of day-walking vampires called Sparklers in exchange for a passing grade in geometry. Can Tedward finally stand up to his older brother and save the town?
~ ~ ~
Sparkle is a hilarious, fast paced short (13k words).
~ ~ ~
Sparkle is a hilarious, fast paced short (13k words).
- GenresVampires
ebook
First published June 4, 2014
About the author
B. Patterson
5 books2 followersI’m a 25 year old writer. I’m a graduate of North Carolina State University where I majored in Psychology and minored in Japanese. I currently live in Southern Maryland.
I wrote a lot as a kid. I began a new story (or 3 or 4) every school year, but rarely finished them. I finally finished one when I was 16. It was about ninjas. It was really bad.
Communion, my first completed novel worth self-publishing, will be released October 1st. Writing it was a labor of love but I’m eagerly looking forward to writing about Les and the other Dhampir in the future.
My values as a writer include:
Writing high-quality books
Diversity
Integrity
Entertainment
I wrote a lot as a kid. I began a new story (or 3 or 4) every school year, but rarely finished them. I finally finished one when I was 16. It was about ninjas. It was really bad.
Communion, my first completed novel worth self-publishing, will be released October 1st. Writing it was a labor of love but I’m eagerly looking forward to writing about Les and the other Dhampir in the future.
My values as a writer include:
Writing high-quality books
Diversity
Integrity
Entertainment
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
May 30, 2014
Firstly, I mean, just look at that cover! :D So cute.
To all my m/m reader friends - It's not an m/m, more like an urban fantasy comedy with a gay protagonist. There's some sparks (sparkles? ;)) in the air between two characters, but not exactly a romance.
The story flows well, I had to stop myself from laughing out loud at the doctor's waiting room. Descriptions are vivid and the story fast-paced. There is obviously an element of parody to it (with the MC called Tedward Culling ;) ) but it's not non-stop. The humor is more self deprecating at times and comes from the witty narrative.
And yes, the vampires sparkle, even the black one :) A 'black diamond' ;D
To all my m/m reader friends - It's not an m/m, more like an urban fantasy comedy with a gay protagonist. There's some sparks (sparkles? ;)) in the air between two characters, but not exactly a romance.
The story flows well, I had to stop myself from laughing out loud at the doctor's waiting room. Descriptions are vivid and the story fast-paced. There is obviously an element of parody to it (with the MC called Tedward Culling ;) ) but it's not non-stop. The humor is more self deprecating at times and comes from the witty narrative.
And yes, the vampires sparkle, even the black one :) A 'black diamond' ;D
October 18, 2015
3.5
I received a copy of this novel in return for an honest review
This was pretty funny. I mean it's making fun of Twilight so how could it be bad? The author does a pretty good job of pointing out a lot of the flaws in Twilight by making them laughable it is a parody. The names are great and the writing is so so. I laughed quite a bit through this quick read, it is a novella and very short, in fact the author could have turned this into a full fledged novel had they wanted to.
There is some bad language which I don't mind because I like to swear and I really enjoyed the added factor of characters from the LBGTQ community.
The reason for 3.5 stars is simply because it felt a bit rushed, the author had plenty of substance and could have lengthened the novel out and still achieved the desired effects. However that is a personal opinion and I really do think it is worth picking up and readings
I received a copy of this novel in return for an honest review
This was pretty funny. I mean it's making fun of Twilight so how could it be bad? The author does a pretty good job of pointing out a lot of the flaws in Twilight by making them laughable it is a parody. The names are great and the writing is so so. I laughed quite a bit through this quick read, it is a novella and very short, in fact the author could have turned this into a full fledged novel had they wanted to.
There is some bad language which I don't mind because I like to swear and I really enjoyed the added factor of characters from the LBGTQ community.
The reason for 3.5 stars is simply because it felt a bit rushed, the author had plenty of substance and could have lengthened the novel out and still achieved the desired effects. However that is a personal opinion and I really do think it is worth picking up and readings
June 5, 2014
Loved it! This light-hearted book is vampire story like no other I've read. The humor's intelligent, the story engaged me from the first page, and the characters are compelling and believable. What stood out the most was creative language use, which made reading a real treat. The gay content is subtle but it fit the overall tone. Hoping for a sequel :)
July 4, 2017
A fun read that was too short. I enjoyed the take on vampires and having night ones and day ones. would have loved to have everything expanded on and as a full novel, but still very enjoyable short story.
June 25, 2014
An Enjoyable Vampire Comedy!
This book is not a complete spoof, but it consists of several elements of a spoof or parody. It's a good read for both Vampire lovers and not-so-vampire lovers. There's a flow of intelligent and subtle comedy in the writing which I found to be very entertaining. The ending was superb, too. The final revelation from the new lord Merlo Voltaire gave me a good reason to laugh. Also, I was amused to find how the author looks at the world and how beautifully he has placed it in this light and fun, so to speak, read.
Edward... oops, I mean Tedward, or Teddy, is a high school goer who hates Geometry, Jesper and Genicelle immensely. Jesper is his elder brother and the world's top assassin. Teddy also wants to become a reputed assassin, but for that he needs the high school diploma. That's the set rule of the community (amendment 36 of the Vampire code). Yes, Teddy is a vampire, but not a traditional one. He is a day walker or sparkler (as the body of his kind sparkles like a diamond when touched by sunlight). Whatever his gifts maybe, he is still weak in Geometry. That's why he has to tolerate Genicelle, as she helps him understand that complicated subject better than anyone else. But she has an obsessive crush on Teddy (who is apparently more interested boys rather than girls) and is very much interested or even impatient to become one of his kind. He has to find a way out.
One day, Teddy gets a proposal from the nocturnal Vampires society named 'Keepers of the Night'. It's a proposal of a deal which, if works out, shall solve all the problems.
1) There'll be no Jesper, the annoying elder brother (as Teddy would have to kill him)
2) Teddy will get the diploma with a C minus grade in Geometry. It also means that he won't have to tolerate Genicelle anymore.
3) He'll be immediately hired as an assassin pro-tempore which will make sure he gets the full-assassin status once he is done with the diploma.
But Jesper is not the world's best assassin for nothing. Teddy is going to need a whole legion of Sparklers to kill him. And this legion, he will have to raise on his own.
That's where I leave the story. If you find it intriguing, grab a copy.
You won't regret!
This book is not a complete spoof, but it consists of several elements of a spoof or parody. It's a good read for both Vampire lovers and not-so-vampire lovers. There's a flow of intelligent and subtle comedy in the writing which I found to be very entertaining. The ending was superb, too. The final revelation from the new lord Merlo Voltaire gave me a good reason to laugh. Also, I was amused to find how the author looks at the world and how beautifully he has placed it in this light and fun, so to speak, read.
Edward... oops, I mean Tedward, or Teddy, is a high school goer who hates Geometry, Jesper and Genicelle immensely. Jesper is his elder brother and the world's top assassin. Teddy also wants to become a reputed assassin, but for that he needs the high school diploma. That's the set rule of the community (amendment 36 of the Vampire code). Yes, Teddy is a vampire, but not a traditional one. He is a day walker or sparkler (as the body of his kind sparkles like a diamond when touched by sunlight). Whatever his gifts maybe, he is still weak in Geometry. That's why he has to tolerate Genicelle, as she helps him understand that complicated subject better than anyone else. But she has an obsessive crush on Teddy (who is apparently more interested boys rather than girls) and is very much interested or even impatient to become one of his kind. He has to find a way out.
One day, Teddy gets a proposal from the nocturnal Vampires society named 'Keepers of the Night'. It's a proposal of a deal which, if works out, shall solve all the problems.
1) There'll be no Jesper, the annoying elder brother (as Teddy would have to kill him)
2) Teddy will get the diploma with a C minus grade in Geometry. It also means that he won't have to tolerate Genicelle anymore.
3) He'll be immediately hired as an assassin pro-tempore which will make sure he gets the full-assassin status once he is done with the diploma.
But Jesper is not the world's best assassin for nothing. Teddy is going to need a whole legion of Sparklers to kill him. And this legion, he will have to raise on his own.
That's where I leave the story. If you find it intriguing, grab a copy.
You won't regret!
October 7, 2015
I picked this up because I wanted to see what B. Patterson did with his sparkly vampires. Truth be told I did read all of the Twilight books, my granddaughter insisted, I thought they were “Meh”. Anyway, Tedward Culling being a high school student, having a groupie fan girl, and his sparkle is about all this book had in common with Twilight. Poor Tedwad is twenty-seven years old and can’t seem to grasp Geometry. He has to pass this class to become an assassin. Luckily he has Genicelle to tutor him this year however, she is very obsessive and insists she wants to become a vampire.
The story is told through Tedward using first person present point-of-view. Except for the Prologue, which is told through Jesper, who is one nasty vampire. Jesper has come to town looking for Tedward to eliminate him as well as other vampires he comes across. The Keepers of the Night are the traditional older vampires, whose dead bodies are animated through magic. They have to avoid the sun, crosses, holy water, and silver. This is not so with the Sparklers, the day-walking vampires.
The plot is evenly paced as we learn about Malcolm, a nerdy black student, who is having trouble with bullies and Genicelle with her ever present infatuation with Teddy. Then we meet The Keepers of the Night who wish to hire Tedward to kill Jesper for them. B. Patterson is able to tell a unique story with lots of humor without going over the top. I found it interesting and entertaining while still being able to keep its overall integrity. This is a fun light read that does carry a message.
FYI: There were two F-bombs. The gay/lesbian factor was soft. **Originally written for "BigAl’s Books and Pals" book blog. May have received a free review copy.** September 28, 2015
Format/Typo Issues: No significant issues with editing or formatting.
The story is told through Tedward using first person present point-of-view. Except for the Prologue, which is told through Jesper, who is one nasty vampire. Jesper has come to town looking for Tedward to eliminate him as well as other vampires he comes across. The Keepers of the Night are the traditional older vampires, whose dead bodies are animated through magic. They have to avoid the sun, crosses, holy water, and silver. This is not so with the Sparklers, the day-walking vampires.
The plot is evenly paced as we learn about Malcolm, a nerdy black student, who is having trouble with bullies and Genicelle with her ever present infatuation with Teddy. Then we meet The Keepers of the Night who wish to hire Tedward to kill Jesper for them. B. Patterson is able to tell a unique story with lots of humor without going over the top. I found it interesting and entertaining while still being able to keep its overall integrity. This is a fun light read that does carry a message.
FYI: There were two F-bombs. The gay/lesbian factor was soft. **Originally written for "BigAl’s Books and Pals" book blog. May have received a free review copy.** September 28, 2015
Format/Typo Issues: No significant issues with editing or formatting.
July 22, 2015
Sparkle is a quasi parody of another vampire book. I say quasi because it has some similarities, but they don’t quite make it. When I think of a parody, I think things are just one off from the original. In Sparkle, they are way off and the only real similarities are that there are sparkly vampires, and the main vampire character has a female stalker. Who is most definitely not his type. Because of all of that, as I read this book I pretended I didn’t read this was supposed to be a parody and tried to separate the two. As a parody, I think this book fails. As a unique entity on its own, it doesn’t fail, but I didn’t think it was great.
I liked the idea of the book and the dynamics between the characters. Tedward is a vampire who really wants to be an assassin. In order to do that he must pass high school geometry. His tutor, Genicelle, knows what he is and is obsessed with him. Her character is really annoying and I think the only reason Tedward hasn’t killed her is because he can’t pass geometry without her help.His older brother, Jesper, is the top assassin and a huge jerk.
Sparkle is a very fast-paced short read with moments of snarky humor. I liked Tedward’s sense of humor and sarcasm. For me, Tedward’s sense of humor was the one thing that kept me reading. It is a lighthearted book with mild romance elements that are still pretty funny.
I liked the idea of the book and the dynamics between the characters. Tedward is a vampire who really wants to be an assassin. In order to do that he must pass high school geometry. His tutor, Genicelle, knows what he is and is obsessed with him. Her character is really annoying and I think the only reason Tedward hasn’t killed her is because he can’t pass geometry without her help.His older brother, Jesper, is the top assassin and a huge jerk.
Sparkle is a very fast-paced short read with moments of snarky humor. I liked Tedward’s sense of humor and sarcasm. For me, Tedward’s sense of humor was the one thing that kept me reading. It is a lighthearted book with mild romance elements that are still pretty funny.
September 13, 2016
I loved the story and the quirky humour in this book. It's short, fast paced and will keep you at the edge of your seat till the end. A great start to what looks like a mini series
February 7, 2016
Great story! I love this author's writing style. Can't wait to read more from him in the future!
May 3, 2017
this had approximately 9999% more plot than twilight, despite being a parody of it and being less than a quarter of its length.
this was a great, hilarious quick read that had way more plot and character development than i was expecting. i hope this author writes more!
this was a great, hilarious quick read that had way more plot and character development than i was expecting. i hope this author writes more!
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews