There are reasons we fear the night. Now he's trying to stop them.
Three months have passed since the fateful encounter in New York City that ended with the disappearance of Bill Ryder - gamer, geek, and legendary vampire. Now he's back - reawakened halfway across the globe with no allies, clothing, or clue as to how he got there. The only thing he's certain of is that his captors plan to use him for their own nefarious ends and don't care how much blood they spill in the process.
Escape might be the least of his worries, though. Civilization teeters on the brink of chaos. Mythical beasts, once thought the stuff of fantasy, are breaking through the veil, intent on waging war against mankind. At their forefront stands an ancient evil, the last remnant of a people thought long dead, and it's about to cut a swath of destruction through the world not seen since biblical times.
Bill's only chance is to reclaim his life, reconcile with his friends, and muster every bit of attitude he can - because if he fails, Hell on Earth will become far more than just a corny saying.
Rick Gualtieri loves to write adventure, mayhem, and snarky dialogue. His bestselling Tome of Bill series combines all of this into a world of supernatural danger with hard-hitting action and plenty of sharp-tongued geeky humor.
Rick lives alone in a dark, evil place called New Jersey with only his wife, three kids, and countless pets to both keep him company and constantly plot against him. When he's not busy monkey-clicking out words, he can typically be found jealously guarding his collection of vintage Transformers from all who would seek to defile them.
I really wanted to like this book. I really did. In the midst of a reading doldrums, I turned back to something that was in my library already - the next installment of the Bill the Vampire series. I knew the characters, I knew the major plot-lines, and it was, at times, mildly amusing - although I had been growing tired of the series.
Unfortunately this latest installment offered me nothing new. Same old nerdy Bill, still somehow transformed into a legendary freewill vampire. Same old super-sexy Sally, still somehow oddly attached to Bill. Same old geeky friends, still somehow not killed by the monsters around them. And, finally, the same old snarky jokes and one-liners. It was all ... just too much. I was bored reading it, yet I didn't have anything better so I just finished it out of sheer momentum.
Two stars out of five. It didn't totally suck and it had its moments. I think I'm done with the Saga of Bill the Vampire.
Doesn't Bill evolve after all that has happend ? Doesn't he grow up a little bit, doesnt he grow some backbone ? Is he destined to be the punching ball of his "friends" and associates ? Will he never outgrow is laziness or incompetence in nearly every situation ? Maybe Bill doesn't grow as a character, but I fear I've outgrown Bill.
Don't get me wrong, the books quality is very high. And every charcter but Bill has charm to them. But my frustration with the main protagonist's ongoing uselessness just killed the series for me. I think after five books I could expect ...well, just more.
Goddamned Freaky Monsters is the fifth installment in Author Rick Gualtieri’s Comedy/Supernatural series, The Tome of Bill. Bill has been on vacation, but his return will be far from relaxing.
It’s been three months since the ending of Holier Than Thou and Bill has been rather busy. But now he’s back, and it doesn’t take him long to screw the pooch epically. Now, to face the evil he has unleashed onto the world, he must collect all the powers (and smartassery) he can to save the world… pretty much from himself.
As the fifth installment in the series, Goddamned Freaky Monsters sets the stage for the latter half of the story. Bill has grown up since the beginning of the series, and things have become way too hectic for him to ever go back. His friends are different, his enemies are different, he’s different. The powers that be are stacked against him, but he’s determined to face it head on. His greatest asset? His snarky attitude.
Rick Gualtieri has created a world full of unique characters and creatures. At the beginning of the series there were only vampires, but now there are so many monsters lurking in the shadows that it could fill up a bestiary page for page. Although, they won’t be in the shadows for long…
This remains one of my most favorite series, which is surprising since I don’t usually enjoy vampire stories so much. But it’s hard to resist the charm the author brings to the story and its characters. I’m not even sure what I’m going to do until the next book in the series comes out!
Book five! Knowing that this fantastic series is about to end gives me conniptions. I was so fascinated that I listened to the audios back to back without stopping. Bill is still quite an idiot, but he is a lovable idiot. Even as a vampire!
Sadly, Bill has a whole different issue this go around. This one didn’t feel like it had as much oomph as the others. Probably because, although Bill is as much of a smartass than ever, he really has some stuff to work out. Namely, how in the world do you escape a vampire prison. Especially when your inner bodyguard has gone missing?
Much like the third book, I think this is more a transitional book. There is a war coming, the veil to other worlds has been lifted, and Bill is going to have to do some serious work to save the world. Not only from everything bad but also from himself. He’s put up a good fight so far but this one is really starting to test his limits. And like the last book, there is even more growth in Bill. There is so much going on that he has to deal with (again) but with his past, and knowing he’s gotten very lucky a lot of times, I think the reader is supposed to really wonder how he is going to get out of this.
I sadly just did not resonate with this one as much as the others. His sarcasm is there, for sure, but I think the dread that is coming on the world is making a heavy weight weigh on Bill. Definitely excited about the next one though!
In short: Absolutely love this series. Recommended to everyone.
This is book 5 of the Tome of Bill. It's rated 4.03/5.0 on GoodReads, is 347 pages, and I rated it 5.0.
In this episode, Bill finds himself trapped in the dungeon of Alexander the Great, who is trying to get his inner monster to reveal itself to impress some demi god. Instead, Bill unleashes some other evil on the world, which he spends the rest of the book trying to defeat. His friends chip in and it's an all out fight to the end.
This ending is a little less satisfying than some, as it really requires you to read the next book to see issues resolved. I still rated it 5, as it wasn't that disappointing.
Was a little disappointed with this book. It was still good but it was missing some of the lame humor that the other books in the series has. Plus it didn't feel as satisfying as the other books when it ended, I kept thinking to myself, "that's it?".
5 stars. What an absolutely freakin' fun read... that absolutely pissed me off more than I've been in a long, long time! No, it's not about the zombies THIS time, but I do wish we got more of those. You can never have too many fights with zombies in a book. Ever.
Now with all this in mind, I can unequivocally state (after looking up how to spell unequivocally btw) that Gualtieri's writing is still just amazeballs. He's writing around a trio of - and let's be generous here - utter dorks that find themselves in the midst of the first urban fantasy war in several millenia. New York is burning, Boston is busted and people are - well, things are HAPPENING to them! I mean, wasn't that whole thing with the trees awesome? Yes it was. Let's continue...
But RG's writing, the editing (make the deliciouso sign of The Chef here, please) and more is fantastic! He has obviously planned this book out so well, sometimes only leaving subtle bread crumbs to follow for those of us out in the woods going 'tra la la' on the way to Grandma's house (am I the only one that noticed that hint that you know who but you don't was still alive? I mean, it was even in italics because it came from the TV!). But at each turn, at each new revelation, at each new deep pile of Sasquatch doodoo we find ourselves in, it all comes together and moves ahead perfectly. And not only that but you just KNOW that something even cooler is just around the corner that was in no way at all predictable. Well, not too much.
But the reason I'm so ticked off? Well, it was well towards the beginning of this book - right after I finished my literal LOL'ing to find out my previous home for around 20 years was IN ITS ENTIRETY AS A COUNTRY the seat of "The Draculas" - that I also realized that this entire story is a marathon, not a ding-dong-ditch dash! Part of me wants more closure in these books... noting that, yes, each 'tome' of Bill is a neatly encased tale and, yes part 2, I've been more than happy with each. But another part of me wants to hurry up and get to the EXCITING CONCLUSION he shouted in his best TV announcer voice. Luckily though, I've had that impatience exorcised (that reminds me, I still have to pay the neighbour back for his goat) and am ready to enjoy further chapters in this on-going - and there's no other word for it than this -> SAGA! There's a long way to go here... but it is going to be SO FUCKING GREAT TO SEE HOW WE GET THERE! Yay!
Deceptively fun stuff folks, you will love it! Start reading before we have to hose the place down from all the ecrement making physical contact with a hydro-electric powered oscillating air current distribution device. You'll be glad you did.
Goddamned Freaky Monsters written by Rick Gualtieri & narrated by Christopher John Fetherolf. I believe this book is where the story is starting to peak, I finished the book and I usually write the review right after, but I wanted to listen to the next book more than anything. In this book we find out what Bill brought back with him during his escape. The Destroyer is an ancient warrior and he’s out for blood! How will Bill and friends live through this?
What are some things that I’ve enjoyed about this book? This book was a transition book I have a feeling the next book will probably be the peak of the story or the book after. Being in Switzerland with the Dracula’s was cool to hear about, I think Alexanders room with the heads was interesting. Imagine a telling of how each of those heads were captured in order to add to his collection. Bill was in his evil form for about three months, I wonder if when he taps into it in the future will he be able to hold it for long periods of time unlike his blood power ups.
What are some things that I didn’t enjoy about this book? Evil Bill taking a break, after all he’s been through and things to come why take a break? I still think that it’s strange to be in the fifth book and Bill still isn’t really any stronger from the first and second book. The villains are getting stronger, but Bill & friends are just lucky. I like the narrator for Bill buts I don’t understand how so many pronunciation errors made it through the finished product.
This is the fifth book I’ve listened to from Rick Gualtieri. I’m really enjoying the so far, I kind of don’t want it to come to an end. I must admit this book didn’t seem like it was rushed like the last. I purchased book 1-4 via a bundle I have enjoyed reviewing these books I will continue on with books 6-8.
I've decided half of the problems in the series currently are because so many people are idiots and think they're smart 😅
This entry picks up a few months after the last full book and just before the end of the previous short story. we find Bill coming to after his... for lack of a better term Free Will Bender. Turns out someone done got themselves captured by the higher-ups and has stuff they want him to do... which they really should have seen going the way it did.
we get updates on a lot of the fallout from the last entry and to new mistakes causing new chaos. If you enjoy the series so far it's more of what you'd expect, with the main difference being the second half of this series starts here so now it's more overarching plot rather than stand alone
Book 5 thru 8 are one big story that has been split between four novels. I found this book started much slower than previous Bill novels and it dragged for the first third of the book, hence my 4-star rating for this book. The slow start however pays off big time as once the action gets started, it doesn’t stop.
The massive story arc that plays out of over books 5 thru 8 is an amazing journey and wraps up the Bill series in a great way. I’d give the entire arc a solid 5-star rating. I’d like to thank the author for writing eight great books that were a ton of fun to read.
Just goodness from start to finish. I really cannot find the words to describe how awesome this series is. It is so incredibly fun to read and I just fall more in love with all the great characters the further into the story I get. I hope that any of my reviews will get whom ever may read them to give these books a chance because they will certainly not be disappointed. Thank you , Thank you, Thank you Mr. Gautier for such a great story and many hours of bliss!!!!!😊😊
While I found elements of this book fun and interesting still, I have like many people, out grown Bill. Sorry Bill, but you've got to grow up a little bit buddy. I just can't be happy making it to Book 5 in a series and have a character making the same stupid mistakes he's made since Book 1. It just doesn't fly in my mind. It took me a good half a year to pick up this book after finishing Book 4 already because of these flaws. Now, I think I'll muscle past the gag reflex and try and just finish the series since I've come this far. But I'm not holding out too much hope.
I spend a lot of my time laughing, maybe because I am a nerd & I get all the references, but the humor & the characters are why I am here!
The storyline is interesting, don't get me wrong & while the main plot is kind of obvious in each story, there are constant curve balls being thrown at you that keep you intrigued & entertained. For me, it almost seems like the main storyline is there only as the track the train is rolling on & you have no idea what you are going to see out the windows, which I love.
Another entry into the wonderful world of Bill, the geek who lives a life some of us wish we could take a journey into. This book picks right up after the encounter with “The Icon” and finds Bill in a situation where his inner demon is suffering from “performance anxiety”. This created an interesting twist for Bill as he awakens to find himself in Switzerland with Alexander, leader of the First Coven.
Bill’s encounter in the domain of Alex was highly entertaining and brought about “Chuck” who also proved to be an interesting foe for our troubled free-will. Bill’s encounter leads him down a path that finds his best friends being given the chance to experience an up-close encounter with Bill’s world.
To say that I have enjoyed this series would be an understatement. This is easily in the top three series I have listened to on Audible. Rick has a way with writing and I can’t wait to see what the next book has in store. Another 5-star entry as I ready myself for book 6. It saddens me to know the series has been wrapped up and that each book I listen to is another step closer towards “the end”.
This one lost a star due to the ending. While not a outright cliffhanger, the story is not complete. So now if you want a conclusion you absolutely must read the next book. While plan on doing so, because I love the story and the characters; I prefer a book to be complete in itself, regardless of whether or not it is part of a series.
Rick Gualtieri sends us further down the path of destruction in this installment of the Tome of Bill. We meet some new characters in the supernatural war and are reunited with friends. Bill somehow manages to dig him self deeper here and screw the world up worse. Rick is able to really advance the story with vivid writing that pulls you in and leaves you wanting more.
I love these series. It's a good substitute for the Dresden files and it's free on Kindle unlimited. I love bill, Sally and the crew. Always good fun and now it gets serious.
Bill wakes in an unknown location and finds that he can't change to his powerful freewill. With the world turning to eat what to do. Getting his butt kick be one freewill he released
Rick, u are mean & hateful. I gave this book 3 stars b/c, even though it was good, it was only half a story! Cut that cliffhanger s**t out! Bill & Ed are my dude/bros, not so much Tom, he's a liability.
Another good read. Definitely did not go how I expected it to, though thinking back I'm not sure I thought to hard on that. The Tomes are good, entertaining stories. Bill is a geek through and through. Love reading about the situations he gets himself into.
I have to admit it's getting harder to read all the things that Bill goes through.
I get that as a writer it's fun to make your character go through things, but I think if I was Bill i'd be staking myself in the heart with a Silver Stake to just end it all.
The Tome of Bill series continues to get better with each installment. Although the comedy was less here than in others in the series the action scenes made up for it.
Sadly, nothing special or interesting enough to make me want to continue the series, despite the author musing at the end of the novel that this is basically the last book before things 'go to hell'.