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Brief an meine Mutter
Quello tra Waris Dirie e sua madre è sempre stato un legame profondissimo ma certo non un rapporto facile. A dividerle sono stati anche i diversi destini. La madre è rimasta nei deserti della Somalia, dove è nata Waris, a condurre la vita difficile dei nomadi, in una società violenta e incatenata alla tradizione, dove alle donne è concesso solo un ruolo subordinato. Sua figlia è diventata una delle modelle più famose del mondo, è stata nominata ambasciatrice dell'ONU nella lotta contro le mutilazioni genitali femminili. Waris però non ha mai dimenticato le sue origini, anche se per anni non è riuscita a tornare in Somalia perché era troppo pericoloso. E quando ha finalmente potuto incontrare sua madre, ha trovato una donna malata. Ha provato a parlarle, per recuperare il conforto dell'affetto reciproco. Ma a volte parlarsi, quando ci sarebbe troppo da dire, diventa un'impresa difficile, quasi impossibile. È per questo che Waris Dirie ha scritto Lettera a mia per costruire un dialogo, per cercare la pace interiore che il successo, la fama e il denaro non le hanno dato.
Hardcover
First published January 1, 2007
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About the author
Waris Dirie
15 books408 followersWaris Dirie (Somali: Waris Diiriye, Arabic: واريس ديري) (born in 1965) is a Somali model, author, actress and human rights activist.
In 1997, Waris abandoned her modeling career to focus on her work against female circumcision. That same year, she was appointed UN Special Ambassador for the Elimination of Female Genital Mutilation(FGM).
In 1997, Waris abandoned her modeling career to focus on her work against female circumcision. That same year, she was appointed UN Special Ambassador for the Elimination of Female Genital Mutilation(FGM).
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
January 2, 2022
2,5 stars /// Most of you will know Waris Dirie from her autobiography (and its movie adaptation) Desert Flower. I haven't read the book (or seen the movie) because female genital mutilation (FGM) is such a sensitive topic, and I don't think I could've stomached it.
Therefore, Brief an meine Mutter ("Letter to My Mother") was a great alternative. It's another memoir of Dirie's in which she dissects her ongoing conflict with her religious mother – who is still, after all of those years, in favor of FGM. It's not as explicit and detailed as her former work, but still gets the point across.
And while I respect and appreciate this memoir, I didn't enjoy Dirie's writing style and took issue with her somewhat condescending nature and the fact that some of her claims were simply false (e.g. that she was "the first African woman to speak out against FGM" which is just bullocks ... Nawal El Saadawi campaigned against FGM in the 70s).
So for me, this is definitely not a must-read but probably interesting to those who do not only want to learn about FGM but also of the personal consequences that horrible practice had on Dirie's life (like her split with her mother, her struggle with alcoholism, her health problems, and that she's at high risk due to her activism).
The discussion of her alcoholism was one of the most interesting parts of the book since Dirie is so brutally honest about it. She describes how she started drinking to numb the pain and the memories of her FGM – so basically as a means to cope with her trauma – but it quickly got out of hand and she became addicted to it. Even though she is doing better now she knows that beating alcoholism is a constant struggle, something she has to battle every single day for the rest of her life.
Dirie also reflects on her modelling career and the perks but also the downsides it brought her. She describes the shift in the industry when being "as thin as possible" became the gold standard, and how unhealthy that lifestyle is. She also reflects on her particular role as a Black woman –
Reading about the stalking was pretty jarring – as reading about violence against women usually is – but it also frustrated me to no end because Dirie's behaviour throughout the whole ordeal was reeeeeally naive and dangerous. This woman acted like a little girl, inviting the stalker into her home because she genuinely believed he wasn't dangerous (even though, at that point, he had already broken into her home and yelled at her). In a particularly threatening situation, when Dirie realised that the stalker had followed her home, she decided not to call the police or wake up a male friend of hers (who was sleeping in the guest room) because she didn't wanted to "bother" him. WHAT THE FUCK? Those were just a few of the instances in which Dirie really irritated me.
Another issue I had with her memoir is the fact that she is pretty condescending towards her mother, and thereby negating that her mother is not only an aggressor (for putting Dirie through FGM) but also a victim (her mother, like most Somali women of her time, was mutilated as a child as well). The aspect of transgenerational trauma and what it must've been like for her mother is completely brushed under the rug. That was a huge disappointment and blank space in the book!
It also infuriated me that she infantilised her mother quite often – painting her as this "dumb" woman who doesn't know much (e.g. "You've probably heard, mom, that there are millions of computers in the world. A few years ago, something was invented that connects all these computers: the Internet." – OKAY?) and who just can't for the life of her develop critical thinking skills that will help her understand that FGM is a horrible practice. It was quite short-sighted.
On top of that, Dirie's world view was quite irritating at times. Speaking of people in very generalising terms and reproducing silly stereotypes, e.g. "But many Africans are like that. Our internal clocks simply go differently." or "Austrians are very helpful people." In general, her positive view of Austria rubbed me the wrong way, as the persistent structural and everyday racism in Austria isn't discussed at all.
At the same time, Dirie herself wrote like a child (like I said before the writing style wasn't for me at all!) and some of her thought processes were so naive and childish yet condescending at the same time, I couldn't help but laugh, e.g.:
But to end on a more positive note: I really liked how Dirie showed her life as an African in the diaspora and how lonely it can be, e.g. when she describes how her mother and her siblings are mocking her for speaking their native language "kinda funny" or how fucked up it feels to be the main provider for your extended family (as Dirie is a rich supermodel) but feeling like your family only wants your money and not your company.
Another thing I appreciated is when Dirie's siblings take her from her high horse and tell her that it's easy to fight against FGM in Europe where there are no consequences as opposed to living in a Somali village and being ostracised because your daughter is the only one who hasn't been "circumcised" (=mutilated!). That discussion of privilege is one that should've taken up more space in the book, as well as the display of women fighting FGM in countries were it's still the norm!
Therefore, Brief an meine Mutter ("Letter to My Mother") was a great alternative. It's another memoir of Dirie's in which she dissects her ongoing conflict with her religious mother – who is still, after all of those years, in favor of FGM. It's not as explicit and detailed as her former work, but still gets the point across.
"Waris," my mother suddenly said in a low voice, "aren't you convinced by now that your circumcision was right then?"FGM is a horrible practice that affects hundreds of millions of women in over 30 countries in the world. By connecting her activist cause with her very personal struggle with her mother, Dirie's epistolary memoir packs an emotional punch.
And while I respect and appreciate this memoir, I didn't enjoy Dirie's writing style and took issue with her somewhat condescending nature and the fact that some of her claims were simply false (e.g. that she was "the first African woman to speak out against FGM" which is just bullocks ... Nawal El Saadawi campaigned against FGM in the 70s).
So for me, this is definitely not a must-read but probably interesting to those who do not only want to learn about FGM but also of the personal consequences that horrible practice had on Dirie's life (like her split with her mother, her struggle with alcoholism, her health problems, and that she's at high risk due to her activism).
The discussion of her alcoholism was one of the most interesting parts of the book since Dirie is so brutally honest about it. She describes how she started drinking to numb the pain and the memories of her FGM – so basically as a means to cope with her trauma – but it quickly got out of hand and she became addicted to it. Even though she is doing better now she knows that beating alcoholism is a constant struggle, something she has to battle every single day for the rest of her life.
Dirie also reflects on her modelling career and the perks but also the downsides it brought her. She describes the shift in the industry when being "as thin as possible" became the gold standard, and how unhealthy that lifestyle is. She also reflects on her particular role as a Black woman –
Like so many times in my life, I felt like I was being treated like a mannequin. But I no longer want to be the pretty, black, African face that is presented for the crowd to gawk at.– which I really appreciated. And also the fact that she once had a stalker who terrorised her for months on end, even followed her from Italy to Austria.
Reading about the stalking was pretty jarring – as reading about violence against women usually is – but it also frustrated me to no end because Dirie's behaviour throughout the whole ordeal was reeeeeally naive and dangerous. This woman acted like a little girl, inviting the stalker into her home because she genuinely believed he wasn't dangerous (even though, at that point, he had already broken into her home and yelled at her). In a particularly threatening situation, when Dirie realised that the stalker had followed her home, she decided not to call the police or wake up a male friend of hers (who was sleeping in the guest room) because she didn't wanted to "bother" him. WHAT THE FUCK? Those were just a few of the instances in which Dirie really irritated me.
Another issue I had with her memoir is the fact that she is pretty condescending towards her mother, and thereby negating that her mother is not only an aggressor (for putting Dirie through FGM) but also a victim (her mother, like most Somali women of her time, was mutilated as a child as well). The aspect of transgenerational trauma and what it must've been like for her mother is completely brushed under the rug. That was a huge disappointment and blank space in the book!
It also infuriated me that she infantilised her mother quite often – painting her as this "dumb" woman who doesn't know much (e.g. "You've probably heard, mom, that there are millions of computers in the world. A few years ago, something was invented that connects all these computers: the Internet." – OKAY?) and who just can't for the life of her develop critical thinking skills that will help her understand that FGM is a horrible practice. It was quite short-sighted.
On top of that, Dirie's world view was quite irritating at times. Speaking of people in very generalising terms and reproducing silly stereotypes, e.g. "But many Africans are like that. Our internal clocks simply go differently." or "Austrians are very helpful people." In general, her positive view of Austria rubbed me the wrong way, as the persistent structural and everyday racism in Austria isn't discussed at all.
At the same time, Dirie herself wrote like a child (like I said before the writing style wasn't for me at all!) and some of her thought processes were so naive and childish yet condescending at the same time, I couldn't help but laugh, e.g.:
No one in Somalia would have to go hungry! You live in a country where everyone could live in prosperity. The first step in that direction is peace. Peace begins in your hearts. Forget your senseless war, forget your weapons, forget your hatred - then the future will be yours.I'm sorry but this is one of the dumbest passages in any work of nonfiction I've ever read. Yeah, Dirie's "advice" sure is helpful to Somalis or people suffering in war-ridden countries. Let's all find the peace in our hearts and dance happily together. Ugh. Get a grip.
But to end on a more positive note: I really liked how Dirie showed her life as an African in the diaspora and how lonely it can be, e.g. when she describes how her mother and her siblings are mocking her for speaking their native language "kinda funny" or how fucked up it feels to be the main provider for your extended family (as Dirie is a rich supermodel) but feeling like your family only wants your money and not your company.
Another thing I appreciated is when Dirie's siblings take her from her high horse and tell her that it's easy to fight against FGM in Europe where there are no consequences as opposed to living in a Somali village and being ostracised because your daughter is the only one who hasn't been "circumcised" (=mutilated!). That discussion of privilege is one that should've taken up more space in the book, as well as the display of women fighting FGM in countries were it's still the norm!
August 18, 2010
„Brief an meine Mutter“ zählt zu den persönlichsten Buch von Waris Dirie. In einem langen Brief an ihre Mutter schreibt sie ohne Schonung über ihre seelischen Wunden aus ihrer Kindheit, die auch jetzt noch nicht verheilt sind. Über ihre Modelkarriere und deren Schattenseiten, die von den meisten Menschen einfach nicht wahrgenommen werden, über sexuellen Missbrauch, Drogen und auch über ihre Alkoholprobleme, die damals ihren Anfang nahmen. Sie schreibt über die Sehnsucht sich mit ihrer Mutter auszusöhnen und ihre Familie von der Wichtigkeit ihrer Arbeit zu überzeugen. Als Waris Mutter für eine lebensnotwendige Operation nach Wien in Österreich geholt wird, ist die Freude groß, schlägt jedoch ziemlich bald in Frustration und Trauer um, da die Atmosphäre durch gegenseitige Vorwürfe und unterschiedliche Ansichten sehr bald vergiftet wird. Waris muss einsehen, wie tief der Graben zwischen ihrer Familie und ihren Ansichten ist, wie schwer die Mutter verstehen kann, warum Waris gegen Genitalverstümmelung an Mädchen kämpft und wie sie ihr Leben in Europa führt. Waris beschreibt alle ihre Eindrücke, man erfährt mehr aus ihrem Leben, von ihren Sorgen, ihren Plänen und dem Kummer, dass die eigene Mutter das Unrecht, dass sie ihr angetan hat, einfach nicht einsehen will.
Fazit:
Ein berührendes, aufrüttelndes Buch, welches nicht leicht zu verdauen ist, dem Leser aber die Chance gibt, sich in Waris hineinzuversetzen und welches wie alle ihre Bücher die dringend notwendige Aufklärung über Female Genital Mutation übernimmt.
Fazit:
Ein berührendes, aufrüttelndes Buch, welches nicht leicht zu verdauen ist, dem Leser aber die Chance gibt, sich in Waris hineinzuversetzen und welches wie alle ihre Bücher die dringend notwendige Aufklärung über Female Genital Mutation übernimmt.
December 1, 2013
This book is about Waris's confession. She has to fight with her submission to alcohol, with misunderstanding of her mother, with stalking...
July 16, 2025
Książka, w której autorka stara się rozprawić z dwoma walczącymi w niej wilkami, miłością do matki i poczuciem niesprawiedliwości i krzywdy. Nie można zaprzeczyć jak ciężkie było życie Waris Dirie, nawet po wydostaniu się z Somalii ciężko pogodzić się z ranami, które odcisnęła na niej "tradycja", a nie jest to nawet koniec kłód jakie rzuciło jej życie. Alkoholizm, stalker, samotność. A przecież życie jednej z najpiękniejszych modelek na świecie powinno być pełne błysków fleszy i diamentów.
Przykro się czyta historie kobiet, które tak głęboko mają w sobie zakorzenione tradycje, które sprawiają im cierpienie, że nie są w stanie wyrwać się z mentalnej klatki. Bo przecież to nie mężczyźni dokonują rytuału, nie mężczyźni słyszą krzyki i patrzą na lejącą się krew, nie w tym przypadku. Cierpienie, które jest zbędne, a jego brak mógłby oznaczać lepszą przyszłość dla tych dziewczynek.
Konkluzja książki pozostawia wiele do życzenia. Zamknięcie oczu na temat obrzezania ze strony zarówno Waris jak i jej mamy pozostawia tę kwestię pod znakiem zapytania i powoduje, że czytelnik może dojść do wniosku, że sytuacja jest beznadziejna. Skoro nadal są i będą osoby, którym nie da się wyjaśnić jak okrutny jest to zabieg.
Przykro się czyta historie kobiet, które tak głęboko mają w sobie zakorzenione tradycje, które sprawiają im cierpienie, że nie są w stanie wyrwać się z mentalnej klatki. Bo przecież to nie mężczyźni dokonują rytuału, nie mężczyźni słyszą krzyki i patrzą na lejącą się krew, nie w tym przypadku. Cierpienie, które jest zbędne, a jego brak mógłby oznaczać lepszą przyszłość dla tych dziewczynek.
Konkluzja książki pozostawia wiele do życzenia. Zamknięcie oczu na temat obrzezania ze strony zarówno Waris jak i jej mamy pozostawia tę kwestię pod znakiem zapytania i powoduje, że czytelnik może dojść do wniosku, że sytuacja jest beznadziejna. Skoro nadal są i będą osoby, którym nie da się wyjaśnić jak okrutny jest to zabieg.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 28, 2024
It is a deeply moving and personal book. Having read her previous work, "Desert Flower," which I found incredibly touching and emotionally gripping, I was eager to dive into this one.
In this book, Dirie addresses very serious issues that had never been publicly discussed before, all beautifully woven into a narrative about her relationship with her mother. The book highlights the stark differences between African and Western cultures and shows how deeply these differences are ingrained in people's mindsets.
Dirie's strength and resilience shine through every page, making her an incredibly inspiring figure. This book not only sheds light on important human rights issues but also offers a heartfelt exploration of family bonds and cultural identity. Truly, Waris Dirie is a remarkable woman.
In this book, Dirie addresses very serious issues that had never been publicly discussed before, all beautifully woven into a narrative about her relationship with her mother. The book highlights the stark differences between African and Western cultures and shows how deeply these differences are ingrained in people's mindsets.
Dirie's strength and resilience shine through every page, making her an incredibly inspiring figure. This book not only sheds light on important human rights issues but also offers a heartfelt exploration of family bonds and cultural identity. Truly, Waris Dirie is a remarkable woman.
January 26, 2019
Jest to bardzo osobista książka tej autorki. Poznajemy dokładnie jej relacje z matką.
Najbardziej zszokowało mnie to jak różne są te kobiety. Waris potępia obrzezanie kobiet, natomiast jej matka uważa, że jest wprowadzenie dziewczyny w dorosłość. Waris sprzeciwia się tak niskiej roli kobiety w Afryce, natomiast jej matka uważa to za normę.
To niesamowite, że mimo to autorka nadal pała ogromnym uczuciem do swojej matki i jest w stanie sprowadzić ją do Wiednia z 2 końca świata, kiedy ta zachoruje. Niesamowita książka, która pokazuje jak ważna jest relacja między matką a córką.
Najbardziej zszokowało mnie to jak różne są te kobiety. Waris potępia obrzezanie kobiet, natomiast jej matka uważa, że jest wprowadzenie dziewczyny w dorosłość. Waris sprzeciwia się tak niskiej roli kobiety w Afryce, natomiast jej matka uważa to za normę.
To niesamowite, że mimo to autorka nadal pała ogromnym uczuciem do swojej matki i jest w stanie sprowadzić ją do Wiednia z 2 końca świata, kiedy ta zachoruje. Niesamowita książka, która pokazuje jak ważna jest relacja między matką a córką.
November 10, 2019
Intenso di emozioni, ti racconta il rapporto complicato per idee contrastanti tra madre e figlia. Racconta di una realtà lontana ma così vicina a noi, che non succede solo in Àfrica ma anche qui in Europa, che non penseresti che può succedere.
Di come una donna coraggiosa vada contro alle ingiustizie, contro determinate tradizioni africane ma per far sì che l'Africa cresca umanamente e andare avanti senza aiuti umanitari ma con le proprie gambe. Ma anche una donna con le sue paure e le sue fragilità.
Di come una donna coraggiosa vada contro alle ingiustizie, contro determinate tradizioni africane ma per far sì che l'Africa cresca umanamente e andare avanti senza aiuti umanitari ma con le proprie gambe. Ma anche una donna con le sue paure e le sue fragilità.
January 5, 2019
Prachtig boek.
February 22, 2024
Σκέψεις της Γούορις Ντίρι για το ζήτημα της περιτομής των γυναικείων οργάνων που συνηθίζεται ως πρακτική σε πολλές μουσουλμανικές χώρες. Η γνωστή συγγραφέας και μοντέλο συναντιέτα�� μετά από πολλά χρόνια με την μητέρα της και αρχίζει μια αντιπαράθεση μεταξύ παράδοσης και λανθασμένης γνώμης για την πίστη και τη θρησκεία και ελευθερίας και ισότητας της γυναίκας. Θεωρώ ότι η Γουόρις Ντίρι επαναλαμβάνεται, αφού σε όλα τα βιβλία της μιλά περίπου για τα ίδια θέματα. Φυσικά και είναι αρκετά σημαντικά αυτά που λέει.
May 21, 2020
Mankenlerin hep merak edilen ancak neredeyse her zaman acıklı hayat hikayelerinden biri. Kültür çatışmaları, bireyin kendini araması ve kabul etmeye çalışması, geçmişiyle barışma yollarını araması. Bu coğrafyanın kızların yalnız sünnet olunca kadın olacaklarına, onurlu olacaklarına inanmaları ne kadar ilginç. Sünnet olmazsa evlenmezlermiş. Ancak düşündüğümüzde bizim coğrafyada da en az bunun kadar sapık düşünceler var. Çok etkileyici ve düşündürücü bir kitap.
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