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J. W. Wells & Co. #3
Earth, Air, Fire and Custard
J.W. Wells seemed to be a respectable establishment, but the company now paying Paul Carpenter's salary is in fact a deeply sinister organisation with a mighty peculiar management team.
Paul thought he was getting the hang of it (particularly when he fell head over heels for his strangely alluring colleague Sophie), but death is never far away when you work at J.W. Wells. Unlike the stapler - that's always going awol. Our lovestruck hero is about to discover that custard is definitely in the eye of the beholder. And that it really stings.
Tom Holt's exceedingly comic fantasies are populated with evil goblins, annoying sprites and people like us. However, it's not always possible to tell the difference.
The third book to follow the hilarious adventures of Paul Carpenter - Tom Holt at his inventive best.
Paul thought he was getting the hang of it (particularly when he fell head over heels for his strangely alluring colleague Sophie), but death is never far away when you work at J.W. Wells. Unlike the stapler - that's always going awol. Our lovestruck hero is about to discover that custard is definitely in the eye of the beholder. And that it really stings.
Tom Holt's exceedingly comic fantasies are populated with evil goblins, annoying sprites and people like us. However, it's not always possible to tell the difference.
The third book to follow the hilarious adventures of Paul Carpenter - Tom Holt at his inventive best.
416 pages, Paperback
First published February 1, 2005
105 people are currently reading
1089 people want to read
About the author
Tom Holt
98 books1,176 followersTom Holt (Thomas Charles Louis Holt) is a British novelist.
He was born in London, the son of novelist Hazel Holt, and was educated at Westminster School, Wadham College, Oxford, and The College of Law, London.
Holt's works include mythopoeic novels which parody or take as their theme various aspects of mythology, history or literature and develop them in new and often humorous ways. He has also produced a number of "straight" historical novels writing as Thomas Holt and fantasy novels writing as K.J. Parker.
He was born in London, the son of novelist Hazel Holt, and was educated at Westminster School, Wadham College, Oxford, and The College of Law, London.
Holt's works include mythopoeic novels which parody or take as their theme various aspects of mythology, history or literature and develop them in new and often humorous ways. He has also produced a number of "straight" historical novels writing as Thomas Holt and fantasy novels writing as K.J. Parker.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 114 reviews
December 5, 2020
I really enjoyed this final part of the Paul Carpenter trilogy-within-a-series but what the holy custard was with all the repetitive exposition? I was sitting there thinking ‘he’s told us all this before... twice’ for about a third of the book. I can only assume Holt’s editor was asleep at the wheel. A real shame as, without all the exposition, this would easily have been a 4 star book... maybe even 5... but MAN there was a lot of exposition!
February 8, 2010
Compared to the first two books,this book felt like a bit of a hot mess. There was way too much of a add-as-you-go plotline... seriously like the author was just making it up as he went along, and had to keep stopping in order for some character to take up 2-3 pages of text to explain what was going on. Not fun. I just barely finished it -- it was one of the rare times that I was annoyed enough that I almost just quit reading it.
October 17, 2011
This review is going to sort of cover the previous two books in the series as well -- The Portable Door and In Your Dreams. The main idea of this series is pretty funny -- my summary is, "take Harry Potter and turn it into The Office". Boring bloke gets a sucky job at a corporation that, turns out, is actually all about magic. Hijinks ensue. What more could you want?
Well, it could have been a little better. More Office Space and less The Office would have been nice. The main character's horrible life situation is depressing to someone like me who doesn't have that great a job at the moment either. Still, some fun British humour and crazy situations, and a lot of clever similies.
This third book seemed to drag on longer than usual... there were at least three times when a battle had finished, things seemed to be concluded, and then I looked at the page count and realized I had dozens of pages more to go -- aaaaand suddenly plot twist. I gradually became annoyed with this, noticing all sorts of Plot Holes and Retcons and Fridge Logic problems with the previous books, and things getting Hand Waved because A Wizard Did It. But finally at the end there is a Deus ex Machina, and everything is explained to be an amazing Batman Gambit to stop a Chessmaster who created a Temporal Paradox (also involving Another Dimension). Which is all so cliche, but is done so over the top (and fitting with the series) that it's actually cool again. And the best part is: the fridge logic is explained BY AN ACTUAL FRIDGE. Hahaha! (If this paragraph makes no sense, go look up the capitalized phrases on www.tvtropes.org -- but be warned, you may lose a lot of time and tabs there...)
Well, it could have been a little better. More Office Space and less The Office would have been nice. The main character's horrible life situation is depressing to someone like me who doesn't have that great a job at the moment either. Still, some fun British humour and crazy situations, and a lot of clever similies.
This third book seemed to drag on longer than usual... there were at least three times when a battle had finished, things seemed to be concluded, and then I looked at the page count and realized I had dozens of pages more to go -- aaaaand suddenly plot twist. I gradually became annoyed with this, noticing all sorts of Plot Holes and Retcons and Fridge Logic problems with the previous books, and things getting Hand Waved because A Wizard Did It. But finally at the end there is a Deus ex Machina, and everything is explained to be an amazing Batman Gambit to stop a Chessmaster who created a Temporal Paradox (also involving Another Dimension). Which is all so cliche, but is done so over the top (and fitting with the series) that it's actually cool again. And the best part is: the fridge logic is explained BY AN ACTUAL FRIDGE. Hahaha! (If this paragraph makes no sense, go look up the capitalized phrases on www.tvtropes.org -- but be warned, you may lose a lot of time and tabs there...)
January 30, 2014
This is the further adventures of Paul Carpenter the hapless hero from both The Portable Door and In Your Dreams. While the first two books were (more or less) kind of straight forward adventures, this one is more nuts. And I say that as a fan of comedy fantasy...I suspect Tom Holt smoked a lot of joints and drank a lot of gin. The plot moves around so fast its hard to keep up.
Who are the bad guys? What's the deal with the fae? If Paul Carpenter is so desperate for love, why doesn't he just join pof? And while we're on the subject of our hero. How many times does one man have to die? And how come he never ever can see a bad situation coming? Because he is a total plank and if anyone deserves to spend eternity is a drawer, it is this man.
And I haven't even finished it yet.
Don't get me wrong, I am thoroughly enjoying this. Even if I do want to punch Paul Carpenter in the face.
And anyway everyone knows that the real hero of these books is Mr. Tanners Mum - I'm still hoping that they'll get together.
Who are the bad guys? What's the deal with the fae? If Paul Carpenter is so desperate for love, why doesn't he just join pof? And while we're on the subject of our hero. How many times does one man have to die? And how come he never ever can see a bad situation coming? Because he is a total plank and if anyone deserves to spend eternity is a drawer, it is this man.
And I haven't even finished it yet.
Don't get me wrong, I am thoroughly enjoying this. Even if I do want to punch Paul Carpenter in the face.
And anyway everyone knows that the real hero of these books is Mr. Tanners Mum - I'm still hoping that they'll get together.
August 7, 2016
tom holt always helps me relax. he doesn't disappoint with this one either. in the vein of robert Rankin, Christopher Moore, and hints of Douglas Adams, we reenter the portable door once again for adventure, fun, and silly madness
3.5stars
3.5stars
October 10, 2021
My second one star of the year... the first sadly went to another Tom Holt book (Donut, the first in his youspace series).
I reserve one stars for books so broken they shouldn't be on the shelves... this one isn't just broken but actively punishes you for paying attention!
Not only is the plot convoluted it actually shifts gears and restarts a few time trying to pretend that this is the real story, no this is the actual story, no the one previously was it lets pick up were we left of there, I changed my mind Norse mythology is still cool right? nope, nope I tell a lie here is the actual and on, and on.
Then you have exposition dumps, first it's 2-3 pages of a side character just standing there spewing it every other chapter, then it becomes an entire chapter of exposition with 2-3 pages of actual story. Trouble is it's so boring the writer himself changes his mind mid way during the exposition and goes "oh you know that bit I talked about 5 pages back? I tell a lie, here is what really happened." which will get contradicted in the next few pages if not the same paragraph!
Meandering and around midway goes back to using snark and simile after every word alienating both the character and the reader.
This one is hot mess. Leave it!
I reserve one stars for books so broken they shouldn't be on the shelves... this one isn't just broken but actively punishes you for paying attention!
Not only is the plot convoluted it actually shifts gears and restarts a few time trying to pretend that this is the real story, no this is the actual story, no the one previously was it lets pick up were we left of there, I changed my mind Norse mythology is still cool right? nope, nope I tell a lie here is the actual and on, and on.
Then you have exposition dumps, first it's 2-3 pages of a side character just standing there spewing it every other chapter, then it becomes an entire chapter of exposition with 2-3 pages of actual story. Trouble is it's so boring the writer himself changes his mind mid way during the exposition and goes "oh you know that bit I talked about 5 pages back? I tell a lie, here is what really happened." which will get contradicted in the next few pages if not the same paragraph!
Meandering and around midway goes back to using snark and simile after every word alienating both the character and the reader.
This one is hot mess. Leave it!
June 20, 2017
This book is an okay read but quite a dis pointing ending to the series involving Paul Carpenter at J.W. Wells & Co. I loved the two previous instalments and I think that this book lacked Holt's usual wackiness, as well as a "punchier" style. Still, it was an entertaining enough read:)
February 8, 2022
After a couple of years, Paul is starting to think he's got the hang of things at J.W.W. Wells & co. He's even managed to get a promotion! Just as he's starting to settle in, things become weird, and yet again Paul is left feeling like he has to save the world, and totally out of his depth doing so.
It's really hard to review these, mainly because it's hard to really say what the books are about!
I found I enjoyed this one a bit more than the previous two in the series, even though it is a lot more nuts and jumps around a bit. Paul seems to have grown a pair (sort of), and so although he's still not the stereotypical hero, he's a bit less hapless and useless.
The underlying plot for this one is quite complicated. There's a bit of time travel involved, and a sort of creation story, and an ongoing viking battle. Aspects of it really appealed to me - the idea of someone messing with time to suit their own ends is right up my street for a plotline. I did find this one a bit long though, and it felt like there were a few times when things seemed to be just about ready to wrap up and then another plot twist ensued followed by more battles and craziness. I got a bit lost towards the end, but helpfully Holt does give us a summary of what has actually happened over the course of the book.
It definitely feels like this is a sort of end to the series, so I'm interested to see where we go in book 4.
It's really hard to review these, mainly because it's hard to really say what the books are about!
I found I enjoyed this one a bit more than the previous two in the series, even though it is a lot more nuts and jumps around a bit. Paul seems to have grown a pair (sort of), and so although he's still not the stereotypical hero, he's a bit less hapless and useless.
The underlying plot for this one is quite complicated. There's a bit of time travel involved, and a sort of creation story, and an ongoing viking battle. Aspects of it really appealed to me - the idea of someone messing with time to suit their own ends is right up my street for a plotline. I did find this one a bit long though, and it felt like there were a few times when things seemed to be just about ready to wrap up and then another plot twist ensued followed by more battles and craziness. I got a bit lost towards the end, but helpfully Holt does give us a summary of what has actually happened over the course of the book.
It definitely feels like this is a sort of end to the series, so I'm interested to see where we go in book 4.
September 16, 2023
Another fairly decent Tom Holt book, fairly similar to the previous 2 in the series in that it has some great ideas but is somewhat let down by the pacing and plotting.
Generally I enjoy the daftness for about 2 thirds of the book and then it becomes a bit of a grind as the plot is explained repeatedly. This one is a bit longer and probably a bit better than the previous two and the plot is probably a bit better but they all have a very similar feeling and stall towards the end. I think maybe part of it is that things are so much focussed on the one character and he's a bit of a cretin and most of the other characters are somewhat 1 dimensional/caricatures rather than actual characters so the books can become a bit claustrophobic.
Having said that I still enjoyed it enough to continue reading the other books I have in the series although they might all go to the charity shop at the end, not quite decided yet!
Generally I enjoy the daftness for about 2 thirds of the book and then it becomes a bit of a grind as the plot is explained repeatedly. This one is a bit longer and probably a bit better than the previous two and the plot is probably a bit better but they all have a very similar feeling and stall towards the end. I think maybe part of it is that things are so much focussed on the one character and he's a bit of a cretin and most of the other characters are somewhat 1 dimensional/caricatures rather than actual characters so the books can become a bit claustrophobic.
Having said that I still enjoyed it enough to continue reading the other books I have in the series although they might all go to the charity shop at the end, not quite decided yet!
September 9, 2021
This is the third one of the trilogy about Paul Carpenter and the magical company he works for. I thought it was the weakest of the three and I got a little bored a few times. The plot was quite complex (or convoluted).
I also had a problem with the character of Sophie, Paul's on/off girlfriend. She seemed a pretty passive character, things only happened to her, she never made any decisions of her own. I also found it hard to believe in their relationship. I thought this was the weakest part of the novel.
It does have some great characters in it although I was disappointed that Mr Tanner's Mum didn't feature much in this one. Tom Holt is also great at funny one liners especially with his similes and metaphors.
I also had a problem with the character of Sophie, Paul's on/off girlfriend. She seemed a pretty passive character, things only happened to her, she never made any decisions of her own. I also found it hard to believe in their relationship. I thought this was the weakest part of the novel.
It does have some great characters in it although I was disappointed that Mr Tanner's Mum didn't feature much in this one. Tom Holt is also great at funny one liners especially with his similes and metaphors.
November 20, 2017
The author tried to complicate the story and make it interesting and he was partially successful.
The complexity of the story was quite fascinating but there wasnt much substance behind it.
Has "Magic" that does not seem to have any boundaries. Makes the weak because anything can happen with magic. So the question is why was there a story to begin with, why couldnt the magic just fix everything. That part was very week.
On the other the complexity of the time travel and traveling through dimensions and the depth of different characters, especially the protagonist in his multiple version throughout the book was absolutely amazing.
The complexity of the story was quite fascinating but there wasnt much substance behind it.
Has "Magic" that does not seem to have any boundaries. Makes the weak because anything can happen with magic. So the question is why was there a story to begin with, why couldnt the magic just fix everything. That part was very week.
On the other the complexity of the time travel and traveling through dimensions and the depth of different characters, especially the protagonist in his multiple version throughout the book was absolutely amazing.
July 26, 2020
I struggled with this as the plot became so complex that I’m still not sure I really understood it all. I therefore felt that it dragged a bit in the middle as a result of the fact that I really didn’t have a clue what was going on. The ending redeemed it for me a bit though, bringing together the ends and mostly seeming to make sense of all the various narrative threads. Definitely the weakest of the series so far though, but as overall I’m enjoying the JW Wels & Co series I will continue on to read the next one.
April 23, 2021
Okay, so there's no explaining taste, right? I see a bunch of reviews expressing various levels of frustration, disappointment, or just plain 'meh' RE: this installment vs. the first two. Not for me.
#1 was maybe more like 3.5-rounded-up, #2 was a solid 4, this was another 3.5-rounded-up. I will grant you that I am binge-reading these, so this is probably getting a positive halo-effect boost from the first two.
Anyway, sounds from reviews like this is it for Paul Carpenter. Have fun in New Zealand, buddy.
#1 was maybe more like 3.5-rounded-up, #2 was a solid 4, this was another 3.5-rounded-up. I will grant you that I am binge-reading these, so this is probably getting a positive halo-effect boost from the first two.
Anyway, sounds from reviews like this is it for Paul Carpenter. Have fun in New Zealand, buddy.
January 15, 2022
I was disappointed by this book it has to be said. Very confusing and not particularly funny (though there were moments). Tom Holt's dry wit was dry to the point of bursting into flames... so perhaps it is me and my reading of it as I've enjoyed the dry wit in his other books. Or perhaps I was concentrating so hard on following the plot that seems to tie itself in knots and offer at least three endings two chapters before the book finishes, that I couldn't see past my own confusion to the humour.
July 10, 2023
Emotional roller coaster ride! I love Tom Holt!
DISCLAIMER
I wrote this review AFTER reading the ENTIRE book.
I appreciate the countless people in the Goodreads community who give their time to write HONEST reviews.
To the people posting 1 star reviews as political sabotage because you HEARD that a book poses a view you oppose, I say: what sad, small lives you must lead to have the time to waste on petty harassment, and what sad, small minds you must have to waste your lives when there are books to read.
DISCLAIMER
I wrote this review AFTER reading the ENTIRE book.
I appreciate the countless people in the Goodreads community who give their time to write HONEST reviews.
To the people posting 1 star reviews as political sabotage because you HEARD that a book poses a view you oppose, I say: what sad, small lives you must lead to have the time to waste on petty harassment, and what sad, small minds you must have to waste your lives when there are books to read.
May 13, 2025
It was okay
This will be my last book I read in the series. For two reasons. First, this the last book with the same characters, it becomes more of an anthology after this. And second, the author is great, but I am growing to be less of a fan of his writing. 75% of this book you are incredibly confused. It's for good reason, the main character is intentionally left in the dark, but it does make for a bit of a hard read.
If you have made it this far in the series might as well read it. Does have a decent ending for the characters
This will be my last book I read in the series. For two reasons. First, this the last book with the same characters, it becomes more of an anthology after this. And second, the author is great, but I am growing to be less of a fan of his writing. 75% of this book you are incredibly confused. It's for good reason, the main character is intentionally left in the dark, but it does make for a bit of a hard read.
If you have made it this far in the series might as well read it. Does have a decent ending for the characters
February 20, 2018
To quote from the book, "The whole business was as crazy as a blenderful of blind ferrets."
I didn't like this book as much as I did the first two books in the series, mostly because it was too unstructured and chaotic. Being confused while reading is fine, Holt is good at that stuff, but it's not great when you're wondering if the author was confused as well while writing the stuff, because he didn't know where he was going - and this book felt that way at times.
I didn't like this book as much as I did the first two books in the series, mostly because it was too unstructured and chaotic. Being confused while reading is fine, Holt is good at that stuff, but it's not great when you're wondering if the author was confused as well while writing the stuff, because he didn't know where he was going - and this book felt that way at times.
March 31, 2025
Christ, that was a long winded, increasingly weird and complex book.
It sure had its moments, Holt is a virtuoso in language similar to Pratchett, but it felt like a drag that went on and on..
Curiousity about Paul's fate kept me going and I made it untill the end but just barely.
It will be a while before I will pick up another Holt. I need some decompression.
3.5 stars
"something uncomfortable was slowly taking shape in her mind, like a square egg inside a small chicken"
It sure had its moments, Holt is a virtuoso in language similar to Pratchett, but it felt like a drag that went on and on..
Curiousity about Paul's fate kept me going and I made it untill the end but just barely.
It will be a while before I will pick up another Holt. I need some decompression.
3.5 stars
"something uncomfortable was slowly taking shape in her mind, like a square egg inside a small chicken"
January 29, 2020
I've been enjoy this series. Just so you know, you don't have to read them in order, but it helps.
An adult Harry Potter where Paul ends up in a job involving magic in a world that is ignorant of it, lays the foundations for you.
But this one takes on other dimensions and twists in time, it took away from the humour and fun that were prevalent in the first two.
Enjoy.
An adult Harry Potter where Paul ends up in a job involving magic in a world that is ignorant of it, lays the foundations for you.
But this one takes on other dimensions and twists in time, it took away from the humour and fun that were prevalent in the first two.
Enjoy.
March 11, 2021
Tom Holt is one of my fav British authors
Have been reading his fiction for almost three decades. Entertaining, gentle British humor. Very good character development as well. And if you want to know more about Greek history in a very digestible manner try his Greek series with Walled Orchard and others.
Have been reading his fiction for almost three decades. Entertaining, gentle British humor. Very good character development as well. And if you want to know more about Greek history in a very digestible manner try his Greek series with Walled Orchard and others.
January 13, 2024
I’m not sure why other readers didn’t enjoy this as much as the others. I found it entertaining, very fun. There were times when I was confused feeling that we’d hit the climax of the book but it wasn’t even halfway done. The fact that I kept reading it speaks a lot to how well written it was.
I’d love a short story follow up to what Paul and Sophie are up to now.
I’d love a short story follow up to what Paul and Sophie are up to now.
October 28, 2024
I don't know about this one.
The last 50 pages is basically just an explanation (which was direly needed though) and I felt like that was a bit of a cop out.
It felt like a whodunnit - basically a whathappenit.
Some things were funny, some things weren't. Paul who I originally deemed somewhat likable (and even relatable) has become somewhat annoying to me. What a dunce.
The last 50 pages is basically just an explanation (which was direly needed though) and I felt like that was a bit of a cop out.
It felt like a whodunnit - basically a whathappenit.
Some things were funny, some things weren't. Paul who I originally deemed somewhat likable (and even relatable) has become somewhat annoying to me. What a dunce.
September 2, 2021
Wacky, wonderful, and wordy.
Wacky: finally, we learn what’s the fifth element (earth, air, 🔥, water, and…).
Wonderful: ingenious storytelling along with wit.
Wordy: fire the editor! Could’ve been 4 ⭐️
Wacky: finally, we learn what’s the fifth element (earth, air, 🔥, water, and…).
Wonderful: ingenious storytelling along with wit.
Wordy: fire the editor! Could’ve been 4 ⭐️
November 11, 2021
Very funny. It reminded me of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books with all the comings and goings to the Bank of the Dead.
That one thing got a little old. But he book moved much faster than the other 2.
That one thing got a little old. But he book moved much faster than the other 2.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 3, 2022
This is the third in a series about a magical establishment set in contemporary London. I'm going to keep on buying and reading them.
The usual bit of Tom Holt tomfoolery, which is to say a good amusing, somewhat complicated bit of British Humour disguised as modern fantasy.
The usual bit of Tom Holt tomfoolery, which is to say a good amusing, somewhat complicated bit of British Humour disguised as modern fantasy.
May 7, 2023
Only 3 stars as I like the concept! But this book needs a good edit and a lot less mansplaining of the plot by all the characters. The amount of “let me tell you the reason this happened” monologues was wild!
September 26, 2023
As with others in this series, sheer unadulterated, mind bending chaos rules the plot. In this book, chaos is turned inside out, tumbled over the falls of incomprehensibility and back up again. While amusing, it’s almost too much insanity.
February 6, 2024
I love the characters in this series, however, this particular installment was insufferably slow to wrap up. And confusing. The story went up, down and sideways far too many times. Just when you thought the loose ends were tying up, the whole bit seemed to start over again.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 29, 2024
This was a frustrating read because Holt is purposefully obtuse about what's happening, to the point of keeping information that the protagonist knows/realizes from the reader, until the very end, where you're slammed with pages of exposition that don't even make sense.
August 15, 2024
It took me some time to get into the story, but once it had found the right pace (for me), it was all the usual Tom Holt nonsense we're used to.
The same characters, the same settings, the same weirdness and... custard...
The same characters, the same settings, the same weirdness and... custard...
Displaying 1 - 30 of 114 reviews