Barking

by Tom Holt

Monsters are roaming the streets of London. Of course, some monsters are scarier than others: Unicorns? Not a problem. Vampires? Big deal. Werewolves. Ho hum. Lawyers?…Aaargh! Duncan's boss doesn't think he's cut out to be a lawyer. He isn't a pack animal. He lacks the killer instinct. But when his best friend from school barges his way back into Duncan's life, along with a full supporting cast of lawyers, ex-wives, zombies, and snow-white unicorns, it's not long before things become distinctly unsettling. Hairy, even.

Genres: Fantasy, Humor, Fiction, Urban Fantasy, Comedy, Werewolves, Horror

416 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2007

About the author

Tom Holt (Thomas Charles Louis Holt) is a British novelist.
He was born in London, the son of novelist Hazel Holt, and was educated at Westminster School, Wadham College, Oxford, and The College of Law, London.
Holt's works include mythopoeic novels which parody or take as their theme various aspects of mythology, history or literature and develop them in new and often humorous ways. He has also produced a number of "straight" historical novels writing as Thomas Holt and fantasy novels writing as K.J. Parker.

Reviews

[Cora · Rating 3 out of 5]

Barking was a wondering variation from the same old fantasy/vampire/warewolf stories (usually involving teenage girls).

As a 24 year old public relations graduate I completely empathised with the main character - a lawyer stuck in a job he hates- in fact, my heart bled for him. I wanted to run off into the sunset with him, our silhouettes holding hands, and never look back at the crushing mediocrity of office life.
This book gave me the next best thing, in the form of following him through a fantasy creature filled adventure.
Now, don't get worried that the main character is some sort of testosterone filled hunk designed to make women drool. He's not - probably the opposite actually. Men and women who gag at the thought of anything romantic would eat this book up in one sitting.

All in all, the premise of the book is a breath of fresh air.


So, you may ask, why only three stars? Well, a book can only be so much without a story.
I'm sure there was a story in there somewhere; however in the first half it was very slow and empty, then in the second half the story was far too complicated and fast paced. I still have no idea why the main character was the centre of this drama (something to do with maths???) or even what the drama was! There was no Eureka moment when suddenly all the hints and mysteries from earlier in the book were clarified. I do think it was all there, but it was so over-complicated that I didn't get it.

The fantasy creatures, chases and fights were fun but as far as an actual overarching storyline with hooks, twists and cliffhangers is concerned, I just couldn't follow it.

That said, I am a "hard scorer" and despite the 3 stars I did enjoy this book, I will probably read it again at some point in my life and I would recommend it to others.
Also worth noting, it is a short book and therefore a welcome change from the usual for a few days.

[Vergast · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my first Tom Holt book, follow ups included a quick read i cant find here but was awesome in its portrayal of a man creeping along a tunnel hunting a monster. Of course this lead me to the second proper book of his i have which is 'you dont have to be evil to work here but it helps' which compaired to this one is a let down not only because an ex gf caught me reading it and is now convinced that she turned me to Tom Holt and now uses this whenere i run into her (which is too often we share the same bus) but because that book was not nearly as good as this one.
I could tell you what Barking is about but theres a lil info blob on the books cover so read that instead.
I will warn you that if like me you fear paperwork and the though of living the rest of your life in an office scares you to death this book really trys to calm you down.
'Shhh baby' It coos paticently 'life wont be that bad, see you could become a werewolf, wont taht be fun?'
And it even has a happly ever after end that felt like a sop to me personaly (not saying i didnt enjoy or accpet the sop freely). Twas actully heart warming in a strange way.
Oh wait Barking is the one about the werewolfs isnt it?
Id best check.
Ill rewrite this later....
Ahem, yes it is.
I was a bit shocked there but okay.

What I learned from this book
...That maybe having a proper carrer (originaly i wanted to be a suitcase so i wouldnt have to deal with paperwork) mightnt be so bad.
It may actually be fun.

[Soho_Black · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've tended to avoid comic fantasy in recent years. Part of the reason for this is that no matter how hard I've tried, I've always failed to find anything that could match up to Pratchett and Gaiman's "Good Omens" for comedy value. I tried Matthew Thomas' "Before and After", which turned out to be a pale imitation of "Good Omens". I was encouraged to try Robert Rankin on the recommendation of friends, but didn't find his brand of humour to my taste.

I am, however, a big fan of comedy. In films and television shows, I do tend to go for things that will make me laugh rather than provide me with high drama. In books, I'm still a slave to an amusing sounding concept, as I like to read for entertainment, rather than for knowledge.

Tom Holt's "Barking" sounded as if it could be the kind of concept I would enjoy. Duncan Hughes is a nondescript little man, working for a company of lawyers in London, although not terribly hard. He struggles through the working day and goes home at night to a lonely house with no obvious friends or hobbies. His life is almost completely devoid of any ambition beyond getting the Allshapes account to balance.

This all changes when some old school friends come back into his life. Luke Ferris invites Duncan to join his law firm; a chance Duncan accepts before discovering that this condemns him to spend the rest of his life as a werewolf. This in turn puts him into direct opposition with his ex-wife and her law firm, who are all vampires.

This is where the concept had its greatest hold on me. It's a wonderful thought, especially for someone who used to live in London; werewolves and vampires battling for control of the law business and of the night. The vampires are hampered by not being able to go outside in sunlight and the werewolves by a compulsion to chase foxes, HGVs and a unicorn, especially under the full moon. It's a wonderful idea and once things had got to this point, I was sucked into the story and willing it onwards.

Sadly, this was to be as good as things got. The concept is a wonderful one, but the actual story was as dull as Duncan Hughes himself. There seemed to be too much focus on the more mundane activities of being a werewolf or a vampire, rather than on the conflict that exists between them. Even when this conflict did come more to the fore rather than simmering away in the background, it was done in a way more akin to lawyers than the creatures they had become. Sadly, this is far less interesting than the idea promised.

This is very much the general theme of the story. Many of the things you would expect to find in a story such as this are present, but they don't seem to be as exciting as I thought they would be early in the book. There was a chance for this to become a really exciting action packed book, but it turned into a limp excuse for an action book. That said, I suppose this is only to be expected when your main character is as dull as Duncan Hughes and the supporting cast are pretty much all lawyers.

The humour I was expecting from this being a comic fantasy was largely absent as well. There were a couple of lines that raised a brief smile, but those were of the kind where the jokes were so bad, even the author felt the need to apologise for them afterwards. Maybe this is a work of comic genius and my sense of humour just isn't compatible with it, but I just didn't see any really comic moments at any stage.

The one saving grace to the book is that Holt's writing is quite simple and fairly fast flowing. Even though there wasn't a lot of action, events flowed quite nicely into each other and the style of writing did encourage me to read more on occasion than the entertainment value of the story warranted.

If you've enjoyed Holt's books before, or if you are a fan of the likes of Robert Rankin, this could be an enjoyable book. I loved the idea, but not the execution of that idea, but as a newcomer to Holt's work, it is possible I have missed some of the nuances that make him popular. However, from a personal point of view, I finished this feeling slightly let down, as I expected more from the idea.

This review may also appear, in whole or in part, under my name at any or all of www.ciao.co.uk, www.thebookbag.co.uk, www.goodreads.com, www.amazon.co.uk and www.dooyoo.co.uk

[Jane · Rating 2 out of 5]

This started with some fun twists and momentum. The first 75 pages could have been condensed to 15: Duncan Hughes is stuck in a dead end job at his law firm because he doesn’t have enough ambition to work himself into the ground and go in for the kill on each case. (His regular like clockwork sit down with his supervisor was so well written and relatable ot made me cringe. The dialogue so real it felt like torture! So many people have to have that as a regular 1/1 review. Unfortunately even though this was written in 2009 that’s still very current in the world of workplace culture. What a waste of everyone’s time!)
Duncan unexpectedly connects with Luke, the leader of a gang from his school days that he worked hard to extricate himself from, no hard feelings he just didn’t like them that much when it came right down to it. Well, Luke Ferris, the ring leader, is now a posh lawyer with his own practice and partnership. He’s recruited all the old gang back together. He wants Duncan to join them. While it’s hard to say no, Duncan does. He’s proud of himself. The tough part is getting Luke to listen. The tougher part is Duncan gets fired the next day and damn it all if he doesn’t need the job offer now. He goes back and pleads for the position. He gets it, signs the contract, toasts the champagne, … and then Luke bites him on the neck and changes his whole life. Turns him into a werewolf is what he does. The next 75 pages or so are good fun. An examination of the pack dynamic and how it works and how the superpowers affect the lawyering. And the tensions within the pack. And what happens when you try to disobey an order from the Alpha. (Spoiler: You can’t! 1. Because the whole pack can mostly read your thoughts and knows before you do what you are thinking. 2. The pack is always mightier than the individual and they will shut you down.
And then the revelation that his ex wife and her law firm partners are all vampires. And that there are other werewolves in town. Would have enjoyed MORE of all this.
Except then the unicorn appears. And the zombies. And the double and triple crossing. And it all gets very convoluted and repetitive and frankly tedious. (Tom Holt used to be a lawyer. Did he think he got paid by the billable hours it took readers to finish this book? Or by the word count of the contract? Whole swaths of digressions could have been cut from this. This book could have been 100 - 150 pages shorter and three plot twists lighter and would have been a better book for it.)
The other major problem… is that none of the characters are in the least bit likeable. Yet another male protagonist anti hero in that he has Zero Interest in being heroic. Duncan is the same copy and paste guy in the past several Holt novels I’ve read. No ambition or interest or personality aside from hating life and expecting someone else to make it meaningful for him and despising the world at large when that fails to happen. He only reacts, and only when pushed into a corner, only investigates out of self defense and always late to the game.
Also Tom Holt is hella misogynistic! His female characters are awful! He even hates on the math teacher Duncan had with all sorts of teenage musings from Duncan and Luke and the group about what a meek skinny husband she must have because she’s a large and bossy woman and she must make his life unbearable. Duncan’s ex wife Sally, aside from being a vampire, is one cold bitch. Why would Duncan love her? Also it couldn’t have been that deep since he did nothing to save the marriage when she announced it was over, even the most basic of human reactions, born of curiosity, as to ask about WHY the other person was leaving! AND he falls in Insta love with the next vampire he meets at his ex wife’s law firm and realizes he’s in love after a small talk conversation about morning beverage of choice. (Look, I could see finding a deep soul mate connection over sharing details on this important daily life ritual! Tom Holt does not DO the work of the author in this scene and make this a believeable conversation. It’s all shorthand. Lazy!)
Super interesting premise gone awry with overthinking and overwriting. Needs tightening on the plot, editing out the meandering side thoughts, and some better characters.

[Rosie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Always poignant

[Annette · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book over several week's time in my favorite local bookstore - the one with lots of comfy seating encouraging you to try before you buy - before finally purchasing it when the new baby made it clear that reading for more than 5 minutes at a stretch in a public place was going to be pretty unlikely for the next few months (years).
It was worth the price: Tom Holt is a new favorite. I really enjoy his blend of the depressingly mundane and the fantastic, as in this book starring a group werewolves and vampires who have day jobs as - get this - lawyers. As in his earlier book "You Don't Have To Be Evil To Work Here But It Helps," "Barking" centers around a lovable if angsty loser who finds he has hidden qualities which may allow him to achieve a life at least somewhat less dreadful than he'd come to believe. It's also darned funny, with frequent acerbic comments on the legal profession and modern life in general. Holt is frequently compared on book jackets to Pratchett and Douglass Adams, and while his subject matter is more fantastical than Adam's sci-fi-oriented / absurdist "Hitchhiker" series and more mundane / modern than Pratchett's "Diskworld," I do think that lovers of either author may find a kindred spirit in Holt. Highly recommended.

[Jenny (Bookbookowl) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant. Utterly brilliant. I work at a law firm and that made this book even more laugh out loud funny than it already is. My boss borrowed it and never wanted to give it back, he loved it so much. Once again, Tom Holt manages to take the most ordinary, boring job and turn it into something hilarious and bizarre - all while maintaining the mundane realities that make you feel as though he could be talking about your own office.

[Corinna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book as a filler to cure my book hangover; I just finished The Tiger's Wife and both books from Patrick Rothfuss' The Kingkiller Chronicle and this seemed a light enough read.

There were a few haha moments in the book but those occurred more in my head, than me chortling aloud. There was still a distinct Tom Holt voice in the book, but the messy story plot 3/4 in the book, was a bit distracting.

[M.Y. David · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the first Tom Holt book that I had ever read and it was this very book that introduced me to Holt and his collection of other amazing works.

Highly imaginative, very funny indeed and a very clever storyline - well done, Holt!

[Sheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes, running with the pack is a real pain in the ass! Especially, during that special time each and every month. However, it's the price you pay when you have a pack mentality. Or, is it? Tom Holt's Barking was a hell of a good (and funny) read.

The author writes in a fantastic conversational style, offers up great/clear descriptions and has a brilliant sense of humor. He easily crafts tales of the supernatural embedded in daily life. At times, my suspension of disbelief was in overdrive and I could see lawyers actually being supernatural creatures. It all makes some sort of twisted sense. The characters are fleshed out nicely and you'll find all the familiar personalities. Werewolves. Vampires. Unicorns and more. What else could you want? At the very core is just a man wanting to belong and be loved. But, you have to dig down past the substantial humor and ridiculousness.

This was a fast and easy read for me. My husband recommended this author to me and it won't be the last time I read Tom Holt. I've already ordered Djinn Rummy and Nothing But Blue Skies. I give these one four-paws up!

[Geoff Battle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Barking is a clever approach to the werewolf genre - werewolf lawyers. It's strictly comedy with frequent insightful wit along the way. However, at times Holt does tend to pad out chapters with unnecessary internal monologue. The story itself weaves a line which occasionally slips in to confusion rather than the intended chaos, although there are plenty of recaps to keep the fast paced story in focus. Barking has plenty of magic moments, some very well though out narrative and some top quality originality. Barking is a recommended, if lengthy, read.

[Stefan Grieve · Rating 4 out of 5]

A dark, funny book, which sometimes deals with a real sense of menace as well as inventiveness in this particular spin of the contemporary supernatural, this hits the right chords even if I think it is a bit long, dated and a bit too dark that clashes with some of the authors trademark silliness.
It's one of the most interesting use of werewolves I've found in a story so far, in a way I found generally threatening as well as funny, because it's grounded in the reality of social intimidation and peer pressure.
In the most sense, this book will have you howling.

[Christopher Key · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lawyers have been known for years as bloodsuckers and ambulance chasers. In Holt's version of London-upon-Thames, it's not metaphorical. The law firms are made up of vampires and werewolves and if you want to join the firm, you have to stick your neck out. It's jolly good fun, especially because the bats hate the hounds and vice-versa. When one of the werewolves falls in love with a vampire, things go all Montague and Capulet. But how do you kill something that is not technically alive? Stage swords won't do.

[Rhiannon Grant · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was amusing but not as side-splittingly funny as I remember finding Holt's books at one time. It seemed misogynistic in several ways - and not in a clever, misogynistic POV character way, but in deep-seated plot creation ways. I finished it because I did find the twists interesting enough to be worth getting to the reveal, but I won't be rushing to read more of his books.

[Derelict Space Sheep · Rating 4 out of 5]

42 WORD REVIEW:

Do werewolves and vampires truly exist? Of course they do, says Tom Holt; they’re working as lawyers. Even though Sawyer’s delivery is spot-on, the audiobook drags a little, undone by an inability to keep pace with Holt’s fast, funny and simile-strewn prose.

[Chris · Rating 2 out of 5]

Supposedly side-splitting comedy. Nah. Unless you're a particular type of bloke, I suppose.
But a good premise reasonably well done, although personally I prefer the J Wellington Wells series because I'm a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta fans.

[Rpaul Tho · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of his earlier books and so you can tell that he hasn’t quite perfected that writing style that makes his later books so perfect and easy to read. That being said, I really enjoyed the book and the storyline (and not just because I am a lawyer ha).

[Willem Myburgh · Rating 4 out of 5]

A buried bone good read

A barking mad fun read filled with just enough wholesome nonsense to keep the mind craving more. Duncan reminded me a lot of Arthur Dent, an unremarkable man caught in the middle of a tremendous plot.

[Janet Nuss · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a great read and would have been 4 stars but the book was longer than it should have been. The ending took too long and I kept thinking that it was drawn out for no good reason.

[Bernard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unique approach. Looking forward to reading more Tom Holt.

[Sean · Rating 3 out of 5]

You know what, this book is fun.

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

Slow start, but he always ends these just well enough I consider getting another one

[Chriss Corkscrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably my favourite Tom Holt book as it's amusing and clever but doesn't stray over the line into being silly.

[Naomi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A little slow to get moving and a little quick to conclude but I like Tom Holt’s novels so still enjoyed this!

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny.

[Mrs S E White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really funny

[BERNARD ANDREWS · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable light comedy fantasy

Definitely more wry smiles than laugh out loud, but it's an enjoyable way to pass the hours and it's interesting to see the legal inside jokes.

[Kris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not one of Holt's best efforts, it was amusing in places and damned tedious in even more places. The story really doesn't get rolling until about the two-thirds point, up til then it's a lot of "Oh my life is shit... superpowers are cool but my life is still shit." The last third of the book is fast paced, humorous and worth the read. I suggest skimming the first 200 pages and dive in around 230 or so.

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

MY TAKE:
I liked this book – the plot was imaginative and quirky, with interesting characters. The plot was
very twisty – I was never quite sure where it was going, and sometimes not really clear on what
was going on.
 
The werewolf transformations were … disappointing. Hollywood, books, etc build an expectation of
painful, gory, complex transformations, but in this book just a simple step into the moonlight resulted in a magical instantaneous transformation. The pack mentality was a strong theme throughout – believable and honest (from what I’ve witnessed from my own dogs). I was pretty confused about Bowden Allshapes and her power over the dead – how she could control everyone simultaneously, and how/why she was so desperate to have Duncan. I’m sure there was an easy way to form a partnership with him to keep herself alive, but I suppose then there wouldn’t be much of a story, would there? It seem like a lot of extraneous plot work for something that didn’t seem very important.
 
I enjoyed Duncan’s love interest with Veronica – interesting how her singular smell was enough to stop him from chasing the unicorn. The almost instantaneous death just from the smell of garlic was a bit over the top, but added an interesting element of weakness to the power of the vampire.
 
Convoluted, with questionable plot lines and transitions, but overall interesting and fun.

[Judith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Barking by Tom Holt starts off a bit dull unless you are terribly fond of puns or your ideal protagonist is a hopeless twit who became a tax lawyer and found his work really boring. Once you give serious consideration to Holt's idea, however, that the practice of law is really better suited to werewolves and vampires than humans, things pick up rather nicely. How lawyers accommodate the effects of a full moon, for example, makes for some colorful scenes, and eventually when it happens that the scent of a unicorn ruins an otherwise pleasant evening out with colleagues, lack of drama is hardly an issue anymore. Still, adventure cannot last forever, so just when it seems a little too silly to bother with anymore, Holt wraps it up with a neat little legal maneuver and it's denouement time just in time.

I think some of you Christopher Moore fans out there might like this book. Meanwhile, I'm going to try reading another Tom Holt sometime soon.