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First published December 24, 2024




it quickly became clear to me that life in the Church could never suffice. As ill-suited as I was to be a leader, it was evident that I was a considerably worse follower, and uniquely repelled by both mundanity and tradition. Classics bored me, rhetoric confounded me, and the few Theology lectures I attended failed to ignite wonder.
. . . He did not turn to look at me, but at least he smiled, though his eyes remained full of tears.
At long last, when we could take the cold and rain no more, he led me through the emptying streets in the fading light, back to the warmth and safety of his chamber, and reminded me what it meant to be alive.