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Deadly Silence
NON-FICTION BOOK OF THE YEAR 2025, AN POST IRISH BOOK AWARDS
The heart-breaking account of a search for the truth behind the brutal killings that shocked a nation.
On 29 August 2016, devastating news hit the headlines that an entire family was found dead in a rural community. For Jacqueline Connolly, this was a deeply personal and life-shattering tragedy, as she discovered her sister Clodagh, along with her nephews Liam, Niall and Ryan, were killed by their husband and father Alan Hawe.
Here, Jacqueline discloses the circumstances leading up to these tragic events, including Hawe's manipulation and coercive control of her unsuspecting sister.
Her gripping account tells of her family's painful struggle to expose critical failures in the initial garda investigation, as they uncovered the terrible darkness behind Hawe's 'pillar-of-the-community' facade.
Jacqueline also reveals many of the shocking, unpublished findings of the recent Garda Serious Crime Review, details that challenge our understanding of domestic violence and family annihilators, while laying bare a mass murder - Ireland's largest murder-suicide - that was cold-bloodedly planned for a year in advance.
Deadly Silence is both the story of a sister's determination to find truth and justice, and an inspiring personal journey of healing from severe trauma and loss.
The heart-breaking account of a search for the truth behind the brutal killings that shocked a nation.
On 29 August 2016, devastating news hit the headlines that an entire family was found dead in a rural community. For Jacqueline Connolly, this was a deeply personal and life-shattering tragedy, as she discovered her sister Clodagh, along with her nephews Liam, Niall and Ryan, were killed by their husband and father Alan Hawe.
Here, Jacqueline discloses the circumstances leading up to these tragic events, including Hawe's manipulation and coercive control of her unsuspecting sister.
Her gripping account tells of her family's painful struggle to expose critical failures in the initial garda investigation, as they uncovered the terrible darkness behind Hawe's 'pillar-of-the-community' facade.
Jacqueline also reveals many of the shocking, unpublished findings of the recent Garda Serious Crime Review, details that challenge our understanding of domestic violence and family annihilators, while laying bare a mass murder - Ireland's largest murder-suicide - that was cold-bloodedly planned for a year in advance.
Deadly Silence is both the story of a sister's determination to find truth and justice, and an inspiring personal journey of healing from severe trauma and loss.
323 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2025
201 people are currently reading
786 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 102 reviews
May 21, 2025
This was one of the most heart-breaking and yet informative books that I have ever read.
Jacqueline Connolly has been through so much pain and heartbreak and she has to be commended for standing up and fighting for her family and the truth behind the Murder of her sister Clodagh and her sons.
I had been shocked when these murders took place and was aware of some of the information regarding the Murderer Alan Hawe through news reports, however nothing prepared me for the extent of what took place in the months and days leading up to the murders. I was shocked at the lengths that Jacqueline and her mother had to go to to get information and for the authorities to open an investigation into the case.
Why did a family in pain have to go through so much when authorities should have been asking the questions, advising and protecting them at this vulnerable time.
This was a difficult but necessary read as I knew so little about cohesion and controlling behaviour and Jacqueline certainly outlines what to watch out for.
Extremely well written and this would make a difficult but an excellent Book Group discussion read.
Jacqueline Connolly has been through so much pain and heartbreak and she has to be commended for standing up and fighting for her family and the truth behind the Murder of her sister Clodagh and her sons.
I had been shocked when these murders took place and was aware of some of the information regarding the Murderer Alan Hawe through news reports, however nothing prepared me for the extent of what took place in the months and days leading up to the murders. I was shocked at the lengths that Jacqueline and her mother had to go to to get information and for the authorities to open an investigation into the case.
Why did a family in pain have to go through so much when authorities should have been asking the questions, advising and protecting them at this vulnerable time.
This was a difficult but necessary read as I knew so little about cohesion and controlling behaviour and Jacqueline certainly outlines what to watch out for.
Extremely well written and this would make a difficult but an excellent Book Group discussion read.
August 5, 2025
What a terrible book. I don't mean the writing. I mean the story. What this poor woman and her family have had to endure simply defies belief. My heart goes out to her.
Jacqueline Connolly wasn't a stranger to loss before the horrific murders of her sister and nephews. Her younger brother Tighe, had committed suicide and then, just as her life seemed almost perfect, her husband took his own life too leaving Jacqueline alone and pregnant.
You would imagine that would be enough to break some but the resilience of this woman must be something to behold.
However the horrors weren't over as one Monday morning the bodies of her sister, three nephews and their father were discovered in their Cavan home.
What follows is the fight that Jacqueline and her mother had to find out the truth behind the brutal murder/suicide and then to get justice for her family.
Some of the things in this book shook me. And not just the horrific murders but the way the community and organisations, including her own work colleagues, treated her.
It made me sick to my stomach that this kind of behaviour continues to this day.
This book was a book club book of the month read and, while some of the book made me feel sick, it is, nonetheless, an important book with message for anyone who finds themselves in an abusive relationship. I wish things like this didn't happen but it is important to acknowledge them and recognise the courage of those who fight to change things.
Excellent writing. I listened to the audiobook which was extremely well narrated by Sherelle Kelleher who had a good clear voice and didn't over-dramatise a story that is nothing but dramatic.
Jacqueline Connolly wasn't a stranger to loss before the horrific murders of her sister and nephews. Her younger brother Tighe, had committed suicide and then, just as her life seemed almost perfect, her husband took his own life too leaving Jacqueline alone and pregnant.
You would imagine that would be enough to break some but the resilience of this woman must be something to behold.
However the horrors weren't over as one Monday morning the bodies of her sister, three nephews and their father were discovered in their Cavan home.
What follows is the fight that Jacqueline and her mother had to find out the truth behind the brutal murder/suicide and then to get justice for her family.
Some of the things in this book shook me. And not just the horrific murders but the way the community and organisations, including her own work colleagues, treated her.
It made me sick to my stomach that this kind of behaviour continues to this day.
This book was a book club book of the month read and, while some of the book made me feel sick, it is, nonetheless, an important book with message for anyone who finds themselves in an abusive relationship. I wish things like this didn't happen but it is important to acknowledge them and recognise the courage of those who fight to change things.
Excellent writing. I listened to the audiobook which was extremely well narrated by Sherelle Kelleher who had a good clear voice and didn't over-dramatise a story that is nothing but dramatic.
Read
November 7, 2025Deadly Silence; A sister’s battle to uncover the truth behind the murder of Clodagh and her sons by Alan Hawe, written by Jacqueline Connolly with the help of journalist Kathryn Rogers, is the non-fiction November choice for @tiredmammybookclub.
This was very much on my radar as like most people, I was aware of the horrific murders of Clodagh Hawe and her three sons, Liam (13), Niall (11), and Ryan (6) in Cavan in 2016.
I thought I knew enough about this case, but I would encourage anyone who thinks the same to pick up this book.
Often, when I review a book like this, I get messages saying “oh I could never read that, I’d be too upset”, and while I understand that instinct, I’d urge you to read Deadly Silence for two reasons.
Firstly, it’s a very well-written account of the tragedies that have befallen one normal Irish family. Jacqueline gives enough background detail that you feel you get to know the Coll family and what led to the horrifying events of August 2016.
More importantly though, we learn what really happened to Clodagh and her boys; not the skewed version Alan Hawe wanted people to believe so he would receive all the public’s empathy. And receive it he did; the parish priest in particular and others from Ballyjamesduff were happy to see “pillar of the community” Hawe in as positive a light as possible, regardless of the reality of his crimes. I think it’s actually really important that the truth is known, given the psychology behind “family annihilators” like Hawe, and I applaud Jacqueline and her mother for their hard work in this regard.
Secondly; one of my main take aways from Deadly Silence was how insidious coercive control is, and how many people remain unaware of how pervasive it is in our society. Clodagh herself may not even have been able to name the situation she was in with her husband. Coercive control is now illegal in Ireland and it’s more vital than ever that as many people as possible are aware of the signs of it, how to recognise it and call it out where possible.
Yes, it is of course very upsetting in places, and I cried for Clodagh and her boys. But they deserve for people to know their story. A must-read.
This was very much on my radar as like most people, I was aware of the horrific murders of Clodagh Hawe and her three sons, Liam (13), Niall (11), and Ryan (6) in Cavan in 2016.
I thought I knew enough about this case, but I would encourage anyone who thinks the same to pick up this book.
Often, when I review a book like this, I get messages saying “oh I could never read that, I’d be too upset”, and while I understand that instinct, I’d urge you to read Deadly Silence for two reasons.
Firstly, it’s a very well-written account of the tragedies that have befallen one normal Irish family. Jacqueline gives enough background detail that you feel you get to know the Coll family and what led to the horrifying events of August 2016.
More importantly though, we learn what really happened to Clodagh and her boys; not the skewed version Alan Hawe wanted people to believe so he would receive all the public’s empathy. And receive it he did; the parish priest in particular and others from Ballyjamesduff were happy to see “pillar of the community” Hawe in as positive a light as possible, regardless of the reality of his crimes. I think it’s actually really important that the truth is known, given the psychology behind “family annihilators” like Hawe, and I applaud Jacqueline and her mother for their hard work in this regard.
Secondly; one of my main take aways from Deadly Silence was how insidious coercive control is, and how many people remain unaware of how pervasive it is in our society. Clodagh herself may not even have been able to name the situation she was in with her husband. Coercive control is now illegal in Ireland and it’s more vital than ever that as many people as possible are aware of the signs of it, how to recognise it and call it out where possible.
Yes, it is of course very upsetting in places, and I cried for Clodagh and her boys. But they deserve for people to know their story. A must-read.
November 18, 2025
What struck me most about Deadly Silence, is that justice is rarely ever done in Ireland without the immense courage, strength, resilience, dignity and back-breaking, soul-destroying work done by survivors.
Jacqueline Connolly is a giant of a woman. To have faced the trauma that she has faced in her life, and to still be fighting every day for her sister takes unfathomable strength and dignity.
Most Irish people will be familiar with the story of Clodagh Hawe and her beautiful sons Liam, Niall and Ryan, who were all brutally murdered in their own home where they should have felt safest, by their father, a coercive controller and abuser whose own sexual problems, addiction to pornography and anger led to him annihilating his family because he couldn’t cope with the idea of them learning of his downfall from “pillar of the community”.
Every week the Hawe family sat in one of the front pews at Mass, giving out communion, doing readings, the children as altar servers, with all the appearance of the perfect family. Alan Hawe was deputy principal of the local national school, some staff and board members of which appeared to circle the wagons in the aftermath of the murders, declining to cooperate with an investigation that was flawed from the start. The parish priest, a close confidante of Hawe and chairperson of the school, claimed “confessional privilege” when the Gardaí attempted to interview him.
Despite all they have endured for years, Jacqueline and her mother conducted themselves with remarkable dignity, fighting the Hawe family for Clodagh’s share of her family’s estate in court, fighting for a fresh investigation into the murders, fighting for the truth about what really happened to Clodagh and the boys and what motivated a man to annihilate his entire family. And they never gave up.
I wish Jacqueline and her mum all the love in the world as they continue to heal. I tip my hat to their courage, their dignity and their strength in the face of every obstacle put in their way. Beautifully written, this is a very harrowing story and I cried many times. Nonetheless, essential reading.
Jacqueline Connolly is a giant of a woman. To have faced the trauma that she has faced in her life, and to still be fighting every day for her sister takes unfathomable strength and dignity.
Most Irish people will be familiar with the story of Clodagh Hawe and her beautiful sons Liam, Niall and Ryan, who were all brutally murdered in their own home where they should have felt safest, by their father, a coercive controller and abuser whose own sexual problems, addiction to pornography and anger led to him annihilating his family because he couldn’t cope with the idea of them learning of his downfall from “pillar of the community”.
Every week the Hawe family sat in one of the front pews at Mass, giving out communion, doing readings, the children as altar servers, with all the appearance of the perfect family. Alan Hawe was deputy principal of the local national school, some staff and board members of which appeared to circle the wagons in the aftermath of the murders, declining to cooperate with an investigation that was flawed from the start. The parish priest, a close confidante of Hawe and chairperson of the school, claimed “confessional privilege” when the Gardaí attempted to interview him.
Despite all they have endured for years, Jacqueline and her mother conducted themselves with remarkable dignity, fighting the Hawe family for Clodagh’s share of her family’s estate in court, fighting for a fresh investigation into the murders, fighting for the truth about what really happened to Clodagh and the boys and what motivated a man to annihilate his entire family. And they never gave up.
I wish Jacqueline and her mum all the love in the world as they continue to heal. I tip my hat to their courage, their dignity and their strength in the face of every obstacle put in their way. Beautifully written, this is a very harrowing story and I cried many times. Nonetheless, essential reading.
May 12, 2025
I want to commend Jacqueline on her bravery and honesty. I can only imagine the heartbreak you and your family endured during the most awful time, losing Clodagh and her boys. This by far has been one of the most touching, honest and heartbreaking books I’ve ever read. I have never felt anger like I have with the way you all were treated by certain “authority figures“ but even through it all and whilst writing this book you have been dignified. Also from an educational point of view you have succeeded. I could not put it down as I felt the emotions pouring from every page. #hernameisclodagh
May 11, 2025
Devastating
The strength it must have taken to not only survive so !much tragedy but to then to fight for answers is admirable. I am in awe of Jacqueline and her mother. A devastating but essential read. #hernameisClodagh
The strength it must have taken to not only survive so !much tragedy but to then to fight for answers is admirable. I am in awe of Jacqueline and her mother. A devastating but essential read. #hernameisClodagh
Read
November 13, 2025A relentless woman’s quest for justice in the face of an unspeakable tragedy.
Devastating and hopeful in equal measure, my heart goes out to Jacqueline, Mary and all who were affected by Alan Hawe’s evil deeds
I feel this should be required reading in Ireland, the case had a huge impact on the country, and led to some interesting questions about our legal system.
Stunning memoir 💔❤️🩹❤️
Devastating and hopeful in equal measure, my heart goes out to Jacqueline, Mary and all who were affected by Alan Hawe’s evil deeds
I feel this should be required reading in Ireland, the case had a huge impact on the country, and led to some interesting questions about our legal system.
Stunning memoir 💔❤️🩹❤️
December 29, 2025
A must-read.
Deadly Silence tells the story of a real case: the murder of Clodagh Hawe and her three sons, Liam, Niall and Ryan, in August 2016 in Ireland, killed by their husband and father, Alan Hawe.
What makes the book unbearably powerful is where it comes from. Jacqueline Connolly is Clodagh’s sister, and she refuses to let the story be flattened into easy explanations or “comfortable” narratives.
With devastating clarity, she shows how coercive control, the protection of male reputation, and institutional failures shape a tragedy long before the final moment.
She balances vulnerability with precision, helping readers recognise warning signs and understand the lasting impact of abuse.
Reading it forces you to face what we so often avoid naming, and to understand that silence is never neutral and that, far too often, it kills.
Deep respect and admiration for Jacqueline for her courage in telling this story, and heartfelt wishes of healing and peace for her and her family. 🤍
“Grief is love lost, and we’ve lost a world of love after your lives were so brutally stolen.”
“Then I realised there’s something even worse, even more cruel for survivors than finding a loved one dead by their own hand.”
“Love and trust create blind spots, and concerning behaviours are rationalised as care or protection.”
“Healing from grief is often overwhelming, and wounds of lost love can run so deep that raising your head from the pillow feels impossible some days.”
“Sometimes people also seem to have an irrational fear that tragedy might somehow be contagious.
They withdraw from a painful situation to protect their own sense of safety.”
“We shouldn’t be defined by what happens to us.”
“People should remember that great loss doesn’t make a person unstable: it simply means their heart has been shattered.”
“Victims may see their abusers being held in high esteem in the community and feel shame and responsibility for the abuse.
As a result, the victims will feel handcuffed to the perpetrator.”
“Coercive control is a persistent and deliberate pattern of behaviour by an abuser, designed to achieve obedience and create fear.
This can include emotional, psychological, financial, mental, sexual and social abuse.
Women are pre-dominantly affected by coercive control, and for the purposes of this book, we are focusing on women’s experiences.”
Deadly Silence tells the story of a real case: the murder of Clodagh Hawe and her three sons, Liam, Niall and Ryan, in August 2016 in Ireland, killed by their husband and father, Alan Hawe.
What makes the book unbearably powerful is where it comes from. Jacqueline Connolly is Clodagh’s sister, and she refuses to let the story be flattened into easy explanations or “comfortable” narratives.
With devastating clarity, she shows how coercive control, the protection of male reputation, and institutional failures shape a tragedy long before the final moment.
She balances vulnerability with precision, helping readers recognise warning signs and understand the lasting impact of abuse.
Reading it forces you to face what we so often avoid naming, and to understand that silence is never neutral and that, far too often, it kills.
Deep respect and admiration for Jacqueline for her courage in telling this story, and heartfelt wishes of healing and peace for her and her family. 🤍
“Grief is love lost, and we’ve lost a world of love after your lives were so brutally stolen.”
“Then I realised there’s something even worse, even more cruel for survivors than finding a loved one dead by their own hand.”
“Love and trust create blind spots, and concerning behaviours are rationalised as care or protection.”
“Healing from grief is often overwhelming, and wounds of lost love can run so deep that raising your head from the pillow feels impossible some days.”
“Sometimes people also seem to have an irrational fear that tragedy might somehow be contagious.
They withdraw from a painful situation to protect their own sense of safety.”
“We shouldn’t be defined by what happens to us.”
“People should remember that great loss doesn’t make a person unstable: it simply means their heart has been shattered.”
“Victims may see their abusers being held in high esteem in the community and feel shame and responsibility for the abuse.
As a result, the victims will feel handcuffed to the perpetrator.”
“Coercive control is a persistent and deliberate pattern of behaviour by an abuser, designed to achieve obedience and create fear.
This can include emotional, psychological, financial, mental, sexual and social abuse.
Women are pre-dominantly affected by coercive control, and for the purposes of this book, we are focusing on women’s experiences.”
July 9, 2025
#HernameisClodagh
When the story of what occurred on 29th August 2016 in Ballyjamesduff, the media, the church and the community showed a skewed media coverage and outpouring of support for saintlike family man Alan Haugh who had a moment a madness, a psychotic episode, that led to Ireland’s largest family murder suicide. This is the story of the people that should have been talked about, mourned, remembered and honoured: Clodagh, Liam, Niall and Ryan, told by Clodagh’s sister, Jacqueline.
Clodagh’s family weren’t strangers to tragedy, pain or suffering before this fatal night. Jacqueline speaks of her brother’s and husband’s suicide in recent years and how this final tragedy put the proverbial nail in the coffin for the family. There was a deadly silence, no callers or visitors, people didn’t know what to say or act around them. They became pariahs isolated in their suffering. Jacqueline remembered the poignant words Clodagh said to her before she was murdered: “We shouldn’t be defined what happens to us”, so Jacqueline made it her mission to fight for justice, answers and change in legislation.
She explores the momentary insanity that led to them burying her family with their murderer and how they paid the price undoing this foolish mistake and how they asked for funds for Pieta House instead of Women’s Aid and the regret they had feeding into this false narrative of a depressed man who snapped, but they weren’t to know. They weren’t privy to knowledge left in the suicide note/murder letter, (as it was evidence needed for the inquest.) They were rushed into this funeral by a priest who refused to share valuable knowledge to the investigation citing confessional privilege instead of helping a grieving family find their answers and an inquest that doesn’t apply the same rigour because the murderer and victims were dead.
This was a heartbreaking read/listen full of tragedy and reality of the country we live in, the Church that keeps the secrets , the Gardai that do a half arsed investigation and the inheritance laws that shockingly left all Clodagh’s property to her murderer due to the Succession Act 1965.
When the story of what occurred on 29th August 2016 in Ballyjamesduff, the media, the church and the community showed a skewed media coverage and outpouring of support for saintlike family man Alan Haugh who had a moment a madness, a psychotic episode, that led to Ireland’s largest family murder suicide. This is the story of the people that should have been talked about, mourned, remembered and honoured: Clodagh, Liam, Niall and Ryan, told by Clodagh’s sister, Jacqueline.
Clodagh’s family weren’t strangers to tragedy, pain or suffering before this fatal night. Jacqueline speaks of her brother’s and husband’s suicide in recent years and how this final tragedy put the proverbial nail in the coffin for the family. There was a deadly silence, no callers or visitors, people didn’t know what to say or act around them. They became pariahs isolated in their suffering. Jacqueline remembered the poignant words Clodagh said to her before she was murdered: “We shouldn’t be defined what happens to us”, so Jacqueline made it her mission to fight for justice, answers and change in legislation.
She explores the momentary insanity that led to them burying her family with their murderer and how they paid the price undoing this foolish mistake and how they asked for funds for Pieta House instead of Women’s Aid and the regret they had feeding into this false narrative of a depressed man who snapped, but they weren’t to know. They weren’t privy to knowledge left in the suicide note/murder letter, (as it was evidence needed for the inquest.) They were rushed into this funeral by a priest who refused to share valuable knowledge to the investigation citing confessional privilege instead of helping a grieving family find their answers and an inquest that doesn’t apply the same rigour because the murderer and victims were dead.
This was a heartbreaking read/listen full of tragedy and reality of the country we live in, the Church that keeps the secrets , the Gardai that do a half arsed investigation and the inheritance laws that shockingly left all Clodagh’s property to her murderer due to the Succession Act 1965.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 29, 2025
We owe Jaqueline a debt of public service for writing this open and educational account of an unimaginable tragedy that unfolded in plain sight. Despite the enormous structural barriers that pervade she finds a way to effect change through her story, the story of Clodagh, Liam, Niall and Ryan. Her account of the work she has done to heal is truly inspiring. It is brave, honest, raw, beautiful, illuminating and utterly devastating. Everyone should read it.
August 24, 2025
Excellent heart-breaking read but a must read
November 17, 2025
heartbreaking read
July 21, 2025
Excellent and extremely sad
Read
January 6, 2026I don’t rate memoirs.
This was heartbreaking and hard to read at times (descriptions of the murders and coercion) but an important read. This family were let down so many times but it’s a testament to their resilience that they got as many answers as they could in the end.
This was heartbreaking and hard to read at times (descriptions of the murders and coercion) but an important read. This family were let down so many times but it’s a testament to their resilience that they got as many answers as they could in the end.
October 19, 2025
The author is an incredibly impressive woman. Despite experiencing so much tragedy, Jacqueline has persevered and written a book that shines a light on the failures of the Gardaí to thoroughly investigate murder-suicide cases. It also highlights the misogyny of the media in reporting on such cases and raises awareness of the issue of coercive control. A powerful tribute to Clodagh, Liam, Niall and Ryan.
July 20, 2025
I was not familiar with the case but would highly recommend this book.
Jacqueline is a beautiful writer. It’s heartbreaking what she has been through and the strength that she had to stand up to the useless and corrupt Garda and Clergy is commendable.
#hernamewasClodagh
Jacqueline is a beautiful writer. It’s heartbreaking what she has been through and the strength that she had to stand up to the useless and corrupt Garda and Clergy is commendable.
#hernamewasClodagh
November 4, 2025
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Deadly Silence by Jacqueline Connolly.
On Aug 29th 2016 Alan Hawe brutally murdered his wife Clodagh and their three young sons Liam, Ryan and Niall and then hung himself.
This is Jacqueline’s story of trying to find justice for her sister and her nephews but also trying to educate and help women who are affected by coercive controlling men.
One of the feelings I experienced after reading this book, and there were many, was pure disappointment. Disappointment in our gardai, in the church but mostly in our legal system. What sort of world do we live in where when a man kills his wife and children, he is entitled to all her assets and estate and if he then kills himself these are passed to his family??
What sickened me, apart from these horrific murders, was that people actually stuck up for this man even after he admitted to the killings in a suicide letter.
This book made me extremely angry at how Jacqueline and her mother were treated after the horrendous trauma they had been through and also at how this case was handled. I think I might have screamed in frustration at one point as I listened to Jacqueline tell her story and how she just kept coming up against locked doors every way she turned.
But mostly I felt sadness for Clodagh, who never got the life she deserved, and her three beautiful boys who never got to grow up. For Jacqueline and her mother who had already had so much grief but then had to cope with this along with fighting and battling for justice for nine years
And lastly, I felt pure hatred for this man who tried to control, lie and cheat his way out of everything and was still doing it in death, who took three beautiful lives because he thought he was saving them. There are no words for a man like that. This book really affected me in a way no book has. I just hope that the Connolly family can find peace someday.
On Aug 29th 2016 Alan Hawe brutally murdered his wife Clodagh and their three young sons Liam, Ryan and Niall and then hung himself.
This is Jacqueline’s story of trying to find justice for her sister and her nephews but also trying to educate and help women who are affected by coercive controlling men.
One of the feelings I experienced after reading this book, and there were many, was pure disappointment. Disappointment in our gardai, in the church but mostly in our legal system. What sort of world do we live in where when a man kills his wife and children, he is entitled to all her assets and estate and if he then kills himself these are passed to his family??
What sickened me, apart from these horrific murders, was that people actually stuck up for this man even after he admitted to the killings in a suicide letter.
This book made me extremely angry at how Jacqueline and her mother were treated after the horrendous trauma they had been through and also at how this case was handled. I think I might have screamed in frustration at one point as I listened to Jacqueline tell her story and how she just kept coming up against locked doors every way she turned.
But mostly I felt sadness for Clodagh, who never got the life she deserved, and her three beautiful boys who never got to grow up. For Jacqueline and her mother who had already had so much grief but then had to cope with this along with fighting and battling for justice for nine years
And lastly, I felt pure hatred for this man who tried to control, lie and cheat his way out of everything and was still doing it in death, who took three beautiful lives because he thought he was saving them. There are no words for a man like that. This book really affected me in a way no book has. I just hope that the Connolly family can find peace someday.
May 20, 2025
A must-read
The callous murder of her beloved sister and nephews of the author Jacqueline will forget be etched in people's minds. It was a dark day for all women and particularly those with children.
This book not only brings the reader through her own lion's share of grief and trauma, but her and her mother's relentless quest for a proper investigation and need for truth.
The book is absolutely heartbreaking yet hugely inspirational. The way in which the author and her mother refused to give up, putting themselves through enormous personal, emotional and financial cost is so awe inspiring and courageous. Thanks to these women, Clodagh's and the children's unnecessary deaths will hopefully, ultimately save the lives of others.
I wish the Jacqueline, her Mum and Gary much love and healing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story.
From an Irish Mum of little boys xx
The callous murder of her beloved sister and nephews of the author Jacqueline will forget be etched in people's minds. It was a dark day for all women and particularly those with children.
This book not only brings the reader through her own lion's share of grief and trauma, but her and her mother's relentless quest for a proper investigation and need for truth.
The book is absolutely heartbreaking yet hugely inspirational. The way in which the author and her mother refused to give up, putting themselves through enormous personal, emotional and financial cost is so awe inspiring and courageous. Thanks to these women, Clodagh's and the children's unnecessary deaths will hopefully, ultimately save the lives of others.
I wish the Jacqueline, her Mum and Gary much love and healing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story.
From an Irish Mum of little boys xx
May 15, 2025
Unputdownable
This is a "must read" Jacqueline tells her story so eloquently and you can almost feel her pain throughout. The
barriers and struggles she encountered
on her way to establishing the truth behind those gruesome murders is
mind-blowing. Hopefully by writing her book, maybe some changes in the justice system will happen. Beautifully written book
This is a "must read" Jacqueline tells her story so eloquently and you can almost feel her pain throughout. The
barriers and struggles she encountered
on her way to establishing the truth behind those gruesome murders is
mind-blowing. Hopefully by writing her book, maybe some changes in the justice system will happen. Beautifully written book
December 1, 2025
This is a watermelon story, what appears green and solid on the outside, is red and volatile on the inside. Alan Hawe portrayed a perfect life to his community, yet behind the scenes he exerted extreme coercive control over his wife which only came to bare years later.
When Alan’s house of cards started to crumble, he viciously killed his wife Clodagh and their 3 children in August 2016. Ireland was shocked and the immediate supposition was that it was a moment of psychosis, and he was to be pitied along with his victims.
What struck me throughout the story was the resilience and persistence of Jacqueline (Clodagh’s sister) and her mother to follow their instincts to uncover the truth, even when it seemed hopeless along the journey. Their efforts are heroic.
It was harrowing to see how the entire justice system seems designed to protect the perpetrator, rather than the victim. Page after page, the structures that should provide clarity, compassion, and justice, are presumptuous, dismissive and negligent. The Gardaí seemed more worried about data protection than about critical unexplained facts. They treated Jacqueline and her mother like inconveniences despite the reasonable and intelligent questions they asked. They even seemed to lack any curiosity about why the murders happened and had little appetite for pulling available threads to uncover the truth.
This recent event tells something about our psyche as a nation and what level of maturity we are at. Ireland buried ‘truth’ for so many years; we looked the other way. Is this still inherent? This avoidance of uncomfortable truths, comes again at the cost of women and children. Unsurprisingly here too, the church plays its all too familiar role of denial and distancing. The priest’s behaviour (upheld by the bishop) is the utterly shocking and repulsive.
There is hope in this story. A second inquest was held. Jacqueline finally encounters some heroic supporters within the system, and they assist her through a process which delivers some answers and leads to some systemic recommendations and changes.
This book makes it painfully clear that real justice is nothing like TV justice. It leaves you with a bitter but necessary realization: the system doesn’t just fail victims; it often actively works against them. It protects its own errors, cushions the perpetrator, and leaves the families of victims tangled in red tape and silence. It’s a story of institutional incompetence, but also of the resilience and clarity of a few individuals who refuse to be gaslit into submission.
It is an utterly devastating, but an unreservedly essential read. The book is a masterpiece and serves as a legacy towards the prevention of repeat events.
When Alan’s house of cards started to crumble, he viciously killed his wife Clodagh and their 3 children in August 2016. Ireland was shocked and the immediate supposition was that it was a moment of psychosis, and he was to be pitied along with his victims.
What struck me throughout the story was the resilience and persistence of Jacqueline (Clodagh’s sister) and her mother to follow their instincts to uncover the truth, even when it seemed hopeless along the journey. Their efforts are heroic.
It was harrowing to see how the entire justice system seems designed to protect the perpetrator, rather than the victim. Page after page, the structures that should provide clarity, compassion, and justice, are presumptuous, dismissive and negligent. The Gardaí seemed more worried about data protection than about critical unexplained facts. They treated Jacqueline and her mother like inconveniences despite the reasonable and intelligent questions they asked. They even seemed to lack any curiosity about why the murders happened and had little appetite for pulling available threads to uncover the truth.
This recent event tells something about our psyche as a nation and what level of maturity we are at. Ireland buried ‘truth’ for so many years; we looked the other way. Is this still inherent? This avoidance of uncomfortable truths, comes again at the cost of women and children. Unsurprisingly here too, the church plays its all too familiar role of denial and distancing. The priest’s behaviour (upheld by the bishop) is the utterly shocking and repulsive.
There is hope in this story. A second inquest was held. Jacqueline finally encounters some heroic supporters within the system, and they assist her through a process which delivers some answers and leads to some systemic recommendations and changes.
This book makes it painfully clear that real justice is nothing like TV justice. It leaves you with a bitter but necessary realization: the system doesn’t just fail victims; it often actively works against them. It protects its own errors, cushions the perpetrator, and leaves the families of victims tangled in red tape and silence. It’s a story of institutional incompetence, but also of the resilience and clarity of a few individuals who refuse to be gaslit into submission.
It is an utterly devastating, but an unreservedly essential read. The book is a masterpiece and serves as a legacy towards the prevention of repeat events.
January 1, 2026
10/10 - The memoir of Jacqueline Connolly about the murder of her sister Clodagh, and her three young nephews by Alan Hawe, the husband and father, in rural Ireland in August 2016. Connolly recounts the events leading up to the killings, the later discovered coercive control Hawe exerted, the critical failures in the initial Garda investigation, and her family’s fight to uncover the truth behind what really happened. The book also recounts Jacqueline’s personal journey of grief, resilience, and the fundamental need for better understanding and handling of domestic violence and murder-suicide cases.
First book of 2026…10/10. What a phenomenal, tragic, frustrating and inspiring story.
The idea that Clodagh, Liam, Niall and Ryan were never considered as victims of a criminal investigation, only as victims of a coronial investigation is a disturbing insight into misogynistic stereotypes - perhaps we grant three days of grace while evidence is gathered, but beyond that we’re gifting more grace to the perpetrator of violence than we are the victims.
Jacqueline, girlfriend… your determination for justice is a North Star, your integrity and tenacity would make your husband, sister and nephews proud. You’ve endured more tragedy than anyone…should? Could? Fuck, no one deserves this shit…I wish you all the strength in the world.
Beautifully told, heartbreaking and deplorable, but through adversity and diminished power… brilliance.
Is it possible that I’ve read my best book of 2026 on January 1?
First book of 2026…10/10. What a phenomenal, tragic, frustrating and inspiring story.
The idea that Clodagh, Liam, Niall and Ryan were never considered as victims of a criminal investigation, only as victims of a coronial investigation is a disturbing insight into misogynistic stereotypes - perhaps we grant three days of grace while evidence is gathered, but beyond that we’re gifting more grace to the perpetrator of violence than we are the victims.
Jacqueline, girlfriend… your determination for justice is a North Star, your integrity and tenacity would make your husband, sister and nephews proud. You’ve endured more tragedy than anyone…should? Could? Fuck, no one deserves this shit…I wish you all the strength in the world.
Beautifully told, heartbreaking and deplorable, but through adversity and diminished power… brilliance.
Is it possible that I’ve read my best book of 2026 on January 1?
December 24, 2025
Jacqueline and her family are to be commended. They were so let down by the investigating Gardaí in the hours, days, weeks, months and years after the tragedy and still kept pushing back and fighting for the truth.
Cruelly, Clodagh's family weren't given many of the basic facts or the timeline of that night or the events leading up to it. That was the very least they deserved. It would have allowed them to grieve in a way that made sense to them. Instead it delayed and confused their grieving process. They buried Clodagh and her children with their murderer and grieved his death, as they believed him to be a victim too - that he had a moment of madness when he murdered his family. The Gardaí never disclosed to them what a calculating and systematic abuser he was. Mind blowing. To read Jacquelines guilt about this and the choices they made as a family in the aftermath and throughout the investigative process is heartbreaking. The family were making these incredibly tough and time sensitive decisions based on the very little facts they were presented by the Gardaí.
This book has an EXCEPTIONAL afterward by Anne Clarke the CEO for Offaly Domeststic Violence Support service. She beaks downs and explains the insidious nature of systematic coercive control and the red flags to look out for. This information will be lifesaving for many I'm sure and should be taught to young men and women in schools across the country.
Cruelly, Clodagh's family weren't given many of the basic facts or the timeline of that night or the events leading up to it. That was the very least they deserved. It would have allowed them to grieve in a way that made sense to them. Instead it delayed and confused their grieving process. They buried Clodagh and her children with their murderer and grieved his death, as they believed him to be a victim too - that he had a moment of madness when he murdered his family. The Gardaí never disclosed to them what a calculating and systematic abuser he was. Mind blowing. To read Jacquelines guilt about this and the choices they made as a family in the aftermath and throughout the investigative process is heartbreaking. The family were making these incredibly tough and time sensitive decisions based on the very little facts they were presented by the Gardaí.
This book has an EXCEPTIONAL afterward by Anne Clarke the CEO for Offaly Domeststic Violence Support service. She beaks downs and explains the insidious nature of systematic coercive control and the red flags to look out for. This information will be lifesaving for many I'm sure and should be taught to young men and women in schools across the country.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 15, 2025
I remember this horrific tragedy happening, but listening to this book, I learned a lot more about the case. It seems a lot of information was swept under the carpet, and people carried secrets to their grave to protect a man who was seen as a pillar of the community, but in actual fact was behind closed doors a minipulater, and an abuser.
Jacqueline, without a doubt, one of the strongest people I have come across. She has endured so much tragedy in her life, and when the justice system failed their family, she kept fighting for her sister and nephews. Her mother is also an incredibly strong woman as she has been through so much heartbreak in her life and stood with her daughter fighting for the truth.
This book is so devastating to listen to with how they had to fight to get answers as to why their loved ones died, the cover ups and mishandling of the investigation, but they fought until the end for their answers and to make sure that this does not happen to another family.
Well done to Jacqueline and her mother for battle they undertook to highlight what is going on in society that so many people do not pick up on. These crimes committed by these monsters need to be prevented. The fact that it seemed Clodagh was trying to leave her coercive life with her boys is devastating to hear that she never got the chance.
I really enjoyed the narration of this audiobook.
Jacqueline, without a doubt, one of the strongest people I have come across. She has endured so much tragedy in her life, and when the justice system failed their family, she kept fighting for her sister and nephews. Her mother is also an incredibly strong woman as she has been through so much heartbreak in her life and stood with her daughter fighting for the truth.
This book is so devastating to listen to with how they had to fight to get answers as to why their loved ones died, the cover ups and mishandling of the investigation, but they fought until the end for their answers and to make sure that this does not happen to another family.
Well done to Jacqueline and her mother for battle they undertook to highlight what is going on in society that so many people do not pick up on. These crimes committed by these monsters need to be prevented. The fact that it seemed Clodagh was trying to leave her coercive life with her boys is devastating to hear that she never got the chance.
I really enjoyed the narration of this audiobook.
November 2, 2025
4.25 stars
Jacqueline Connolly's ‘Deadly Silence’ is a heart-breaking and powerful memoir that charts her battle for truth after the murder of her sister, Clodagh, and Clodagh’s three sons by their husband and father, Alan Hawe. This book is a devastating indictment of the system that failed the victims and a raw testament to a sister's love.
Connolly’s account is deeply moving, plunging the reader into her world of grief and her frustrating fight against a simplistic official narrative. However, as the story unfolds, revealing a wider context of family tragedy, a troubling question emerges. The sheer weight of devastating events feels too coincidental, pointing towards deeper, unresolved dynamics that the book, perhaps necessarily, does not fully explore. Connolly’s unwavering focus remains on justice for Clodagh, but this broader, unsettling context leaves the reader with a sense of a larger, untold story.
While the book is a courageous and essential act of defiance, the shadow of these wider tragedies creates a narrative gap that nags at the reader. Despite this, it remains a difficult but absolutely necessary read, whose power and importance are undeniable.
Jacqueline Connolly's ‘Deadly Silence’ is a heart-breaking and powerful memoir that charts her battle for truth after the murder of her sister, Clodagh, and Clodagh’s three sons by their husband and father, Alan Hawe. This book is a devastating indictment of the system that failed the victims and a raw testament to a sister's love.
Connolly’s account is deeply moving, plunging the reader into her world of grief and her frustrating fight against a simplistic official narrative. However, as the story unfolds, revealing a wider context of family tragedy, a troubling question emerges. The sheer weight of devastating events feels too coincidental, pointing towards deeper, unresolved dynamics that the book, perhaps necessarily, does not fully explore. Connolly’s unwavering focus remains on justice for Clodagh, but this broader, unsettling context leaves the reader with a sense of a larger, untold story.
While the book is a courageous and essential act of defiance, the shadow of these wider tragedies creates a narrative gap that nags at the reader. Despite this, it remains a difficult but absolutely necessary read, whose power and importance are undeniable.
May 31, 2025
This was such a heartbreaking read. How much loss can one woman face? It baffled me and inspired me at the resilience of Jacqueline and her perseverance to push through it all, alongside her mother to seek justice and answers for her sister and nephews. Unnerving to read how you may never really know someone! Family and friends never really knew the man that Clodagh married...it seemed Clodagh herself may have never truly known him either god love her. This book highlights the illusion of 'normal' while coercive control happens behind closed doors.
I am truly glad I got away from my controlling ex and if I am honest I wept for Clodagh and her boys throughout this book that she could not have done the same. Even more heartbreaking was that she almost found that courage.
Alan Hawe was a monster. A wolf in sheep's clothing hiding in plain sight. A sick man who committed a sick act on 4 innocent lives.
I applaud Jacqueline, her perseverance, and I wish her and her family all the best for the future.
I am truly glad I got away from my controlling ex and if I am honest I wept for Clodagh and her boys throughout this book that she could not have done the same. Even more heartbreaking was that she almost found that courage.
Alan Hawe was a monster. A wolf in sheep's clothing hiding in plain sight. A sick man who committed a sick act on 4 innocent lives.
I applaud Jacqueline, her perseverance, and I wish her and her family all the best for the future.
October 4, 2025
This story is so upsetting, especially the failure of what seems like everyone around Jacqueline and her mother, who were supposed to be doing their jobs during this HORRENDOUS horrendous time. It is exhausting, and I'm perpetually heartbroken by the rising violence against women and children in Ireland. Shame on Bailieborough Gardaí and shame on the Gardaí Commissioner, the Hawe family, the Catholic Church (of course)... I listened to the audiobook, for a change, and it was so saddening how long it took her family to find answers to basic questions, the denial of basic information, the sluggish infuriating pen pushers etc.
Jacqueline and her mother have enormous strength and courage to go public and push back against Ireland's very internalised misogyny . Rest in peace Clodagh, Liam, Niall, and Ryan.
Jacqueline and her mother have enormous strength and courage to go public and push back against Ireland's very internalised misogyny . Rest in peace Clodagh, Liam, Niall, and Ryan.
May 8, 2025
This is a great book written with raw honesty. Jacqueline has come through so much in her life and speaks candidly of the terrible tragedy that befell her family thanks to the evil and narcissistic Alan Hawe. She has overcome so many challenges and together with her mother has fought for justice for her sister and nephews against the authorities. I find it distressing and shocking that Cavan county council does not wish to contribute to a memorial garden on the site of this terrible tragedy.
A very well written book that sequences well and shows the events and emotions of this terrible event. I have the utmost admiration for Jacqueline and her family and the way they have come through to the other side in the face of evil. Well worth a read.
A very well written book that sequences well and shows the events and emotions of this terrible event. I have the utmost admiration for Jacqueline and her family and the way they have come through to the other side in the face of evil. Well worth a read.
June 12, 2025
Phenomenally honest writing by Jacqueline that is utterly heartbreaking and yet showcases a journey of powerful resilience in truly dark times and showcases an abundance of love for her family.
Jacqueline and her mother have had to fight for changes in Ireland around familicide.
The book highlights some of the failings by the Guards, the Church and society when faced with cases of familicide in Ireland and domestic abuse.
Clodagh and her boys were failed by the state, and only for the drive and love of Jacqueline and her mother have they achieved some answers in this case.
It also showcases in hindsight some of the great work which can be achievable by the guards which should have been applied to the family case in 2016.
Jacqueline and her mother have had to fight for changes in Ireland around familicide.
The book highlights some of the failings by the Guards, the Church and society when faced with cases of familicide in Ireland and domestic abuse.
Clodagh and her boys were failed by the state, and only for the drive and love of Jacqueline and her mother have they achieved some answers in this case.
It also showcases in hindsight some of the great work which can be achievable by the guards which should have been applied to the family case in 2016.
July 2, 2025
Jacqueline Connolly has really opened up her heart into this book with her bravery and courage in telling the truth and standing up for her sister Clodagh and nephews.
I admire her resilience and the way she’s using her pain to try and help others.
She has fought alongside her mother for the law to be changed, and I'm 💯 with her.
I felt so sad and did really feel her heartbreak after her brother, then her soul mate 🥹 that just really was devastating.
And then her sister and nephews, absolutely shocking pain to endure.
Life is just so cruel, and people also
5 outstanding 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟for Jacqueline for sharing her story.
This story will stay with me.
The important message that Jacqueline gets across very well is that we must
!!!SPEAK UP!!!
I admire her resilience and the way she’s using her pain to try and help others.
She has fought alongside her mother for the law to be changed, and I'm 💯 with her.
I felt so sad and did really feel her heartbreak after her brother, then her soul mate 🥹 that just really was devastating.
And then her sister and nephews, absolutely shocking pain to endure.
Life is just so cruel, and people also
5 outstanding 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟for Jacqueline for sharing her story.
This story will stay with me.
The important message that Jacqueline gets across very well is that we must
!!!SPEAK UP!!!
July 22, 2025
Absolutely devastating, but one of the most important books I’ve read.
Jacqueline Connolly shares her family’s story with such honesty and strength that I found it impossible to put down. Her writing is both heartbreaking and eye-opening, offering not only a deeply personal account but also a vital education on coercive control.
What makes this book so powerful is how beautifully she balances vulnerability with clarity, helping readers understand the warning signs and lasting impact of abuse. This isn’t just a memoir—it’s a call for awareness and it could genuinely save lives.
A must-read. Deep respect and admiration to Jacqueline for her courage in telling this story. I wish her and her family continued healing and peace in the years ahead.
Jacqueline Connolly shares her family’s story with such honesty and strength that I found it impossible to put down. Her writing is both heartbreaking and eye-opening, offering not only a deeply personal account but also a vital education on coercive control.
What makes this book so powerful is how beautifully she balances vulnerability with clarity, helping readers understand the warning signs and lasting impact of abuse. This isn’t just a memoir—it’s a call for awareness and it could genuinely save lives.
A must-read. Deep respect and admiration to Jacqueline for her courage in telling this story. I wish her and her family continued healing and peace in the years ahead.
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