Since My Last Confession: A Gay Catholic Memoir

by Scott D. Pomfret

A personal account by a Catholic homosexual describes his lesser-known work as an erotica author, his relationship with his atheist partner, and the life lessons he learned from a gay priest.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Religion, Queer, LGBT, Gay, Biography Memoir

312 pages, Hardcover

First published June 1, 2008

About the author

Scott Pomfret is author of Since My Last Confession: A Gay Catholic Memoir; Hot Sauce: A Novel; the Q Guide to Wine and Cocktails, and dozens of short stories published in, among other venues, Ecotone, The Short Story (UK), Post Road, New Orleans Review, Fiction International, and Fourteen Hills. Scott writes from the cramped confines of his tiny Provincetown beach shack, which he shares with his partner of twenty-one years. He is currently at work on a comic queer Know-Nothing alternative history novel set in antebellum New Orleans. www.scottpomfret.com.

Reviews

[Richard Derus · Rating 3 out of 5]

Real Rating: 3.5* of five

Revised for 2021's #PrideMonth blogstravaganza. Go look: Sin is a failure to love when you have the capacity to do so.

[Tori · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book and the author. I am new to Catholicism, and I felt like it gave me a great history on the Catholic Churches efforts against gay marriage as well as confirming there are some brave fighters for allowing it. I was surprised at what a balanced portrayal Scott was able to make of some of the hierarchy when he obviously has great reasons to be upset by their actions. I am particularly interested in the Boston area and I have attended Mass at St. Anthony's a few times on my visits. I found this book to be extremely educational while also being very educational. I loved every minute of reading it. I try to be stingy with my 5 star reviews, but this one earned it for me.

[Mediaman · Rating 1 out of 5]

Zero stars--a complete waste of time unless you are an LGBT activist that wants a piece of propaganda that will support your biased anti-Catholicism feelings. It's not really a "memoir"--it's a poorly written piece of distorted reality that attempts to condemn the Catholic Church at every turn, even though the guy writing it claims to support the Church. Right.

Pomfret claims to be a "practicing Catholic" and trains people in Catholic ministries, but he lives with his boyfriend, writes descriptive gay porn novels with him, and parades their sexuality not just in public for the cameras to see but also in letters to church authorities. He tells priests that he has a great sex life with his male partner (at this point they weren't married), then has the audacity to expect the Catholic leaders to respect him, accept him, and allow him full functioning ministry in the church despite the fact that he's not following Catholic doctrine. Kind of like a guy telling cops that he never stops for red lights and thinks anarchists looting from businesses shouldn't be arrested, then expects to be welcomed into the police force. So much for being a real practicing Catholic.

This guy is mentally unstable, delusional, and a horrible writer. The book makes no sense in many spots, is poorly organized, condescending, fails to represent true church teaching, and ultimately fails to do what the author wants. No only are we not won over by his simplistic whining arguments, but if anything he causes more damage to his cause. There certainly are legit arguments to be made about basic human right (and the Catholic Church's official position supports those) but living a lie by claiming to be Catholic and yet refusing to follow what the church requires means Pomfret is just another hypocrite.

Along the way he points out some very real priests and lay ministers that are also not supportive of the church's gay teachings. It's disappointing to see so many that claim to represent Catholicism not actually practicing it. They have every responsibility to get out and go elsewhere--just head to an Episcopalian church where you get all the same liturgy and hierarchy but none of the enforcement of the full gospel. Instead Pomfret thinks by being obnoxious and forcing his opinions on others that he'll eventually get the Catholic Church to change. So far that hasn't exactly worked, has it?

This book is offensive in tone and content. It shows how members of the gay community can be so self-centered and obnoxious that they are ultimately hurting their cause, their community, and their own souls. I don't really think the author or his fellow activities really care about the spiritual impact of their life choices--this is all about politics, disruption of anything traditional, and hedonism.

[Myffanwy Geronazzo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had a hard time deciding between 2 and 3 stars, but some of the faults I have to remember are due to it being from 2008. However, some of the inexcusable points:

-LGBT has replaced GLBT since the 90's, out of respect to the lesbian solidarity in the AID's crisis, since lesbians were some of the primary carers for gay sufferers.

-Cis gay men have this weird vitriol for women. Like, an angry sort of misogyny. Why? Also the attacks on Britany Spears didn't age well. How about we just leave the female child stars alone??

-Yes yes. Harry Potter in church was a scandal. It's a scandal now, can we stop mentioning it? (Not score affective BUT it's funny how religious people scorned Harry Potter back in the day and now that queer people have scorned it, the religious people all think it moulded their very creation

-Going back to the misogyny, there's also a weird underlying transphobia as well. Like, Cis gay men aren't the face of queer people. Why do you put yourself on a pedestal?

-Whilst very educational in Catholic religion, the author refuses to even admit their hypocritical point of view. It isn't a big problem to be gay and catholic, but the staunch defense reeks of Stockholm syndrome.

It was alright, I'm glad I read it, but it was a bit hard to get through, since I'm not a rich white cis man. Probably not the demographic then.

[Colin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great book on the Church, its history, its leaders, and the author’s faith, told in a respectful, sincere, and hilarious way!

The book ran on a little long and could’ve been more concise.

[Zac · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a hysterical novel anyone with a Catholic background, particularly those of the homosexual persuasion. It's a realy easy day's read..

[Robert · Rating 2 out of 5]

Got a couple of hours into this "memoir" and just couldn't fathom all the 4 and 5 star reviews. Looking over some of the reviews here and on Amazon, I realized that it's not a book at all and not really a memoir either. The latter assumes some structure and through line in the writing. As some have noted, these are really pieces of the author's stand-up routine which may explain why I didn't care for it. I don't get stand up. I love humor that stems from wit and language or from plot and character development. Jokes told for the sake of telling jokes just don't work for me.

I am Catholic (sort of) and gay (rather), but I found Pomfret's writing voice just too "look at me -- I'm gay and still Catholic! Isn't that hilarious?"

What I really don't get are those who say they found the book uplifting.

[Robert Cox · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author approaches the question of LGBT relationship with the Catholic Church in a personal and humorous manner. Nevertheless, there is a great deal of serious reflection behind the humor. It goes a long way to justifying the continuing Participation in a church which does not always seem to welcome us

[Jeremy Winnick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author Scott Pomfret was a guest at Seacoast Gay Men in 2008. He introduced and discussed his latest book, Since My Last Confession, published that year. You would have remembered this meeting if you had come; Scott is hot. He read passages of the book to us and relayed the journey of its creation and publication. Sadly, I did not grab a copy then. But boy am I ever glad that the CGM book club picked it up as the opener for our 2010 season.

This book is a should-read for everyone, but it is absolutely a must-read if you were raised Catholic. It doesn’t matter where you are with the Church now; if you ever liked being Catholic (or much more importantly, if you ever liked attending Mass), then you’re going to relive bits of your own faith journey, including the point where you finally decided to leave it, if you did. Pomfret provides the unusual case: he never left.

During the book club discusssion, some wondered about this, since he advanced through all the stages of grief over the Vatican’s stand on homosexuality and their cover-up over the sex-abuse scandal. Pomfret answers this in many places, but my favorite was this one: “We come because we experience something of God at the Shrine, something that moves, a whisper, a current, in a setting that both rings true and is strangely unsettling, decidedly different, where listening is active if imperfect and where acts of corporal mercy always form part of the picture.” Bingo. Anyone who was moved at a Mass will understand this. What Pomfret does very well in this book is remove the shame you may feel for missing this despite the foolish positions and decisions made by the Church.

Confession is neither an indictment against the Church nor a call to forgive and forget. Pomfret believes that the Church is dying and from the ashes a new Church can arise. “Brokenness is an opportunity for the spirit to enter.” And as any Log Cabin Republican would tell you, change is most effectively brought from inside.

Confession is also an intimate portrayal of Pomfrett’s relationship with his boyfriend, Scott W. The two could not be much more different. Most dramatically, Scott W. is an atheist, providing necessary counterpoint and a truckload of drama. They fight a lot. Throughout the book you keep waiting for the breakup, and though they get close, it never comes. The very last page will tell you why; probably one of the most touching post-fight moments ever penned to paper. It’s beautiful, and it drives home the power of patience and forgiveness.

Please don’t think that the book is all drama and fighting. It’s often quite funny too, particularly where he provides a gay man’s primer to various aspects of the Church, which is why I recommend this book for everyone.

Please don't be put off by the cover. Pomfret had no say in it (someone from the book club contacted him directly to ask about it). There are no altar boys in love in this book. The characters in this book are adults. As a personal aside, I would be furious if I had put this much work into a book and had to live with someone's stock cover.

There are a number of gems sprinkled throughout. One quip was independently mentioned twice at the book club: “Sin is a failure to love when you have the capacity to do so.” Imagine a quote like that surviving into the modern Bible. Imagine many people who think this way working inside the Church for change. Imagine a reinvented Church working for us in the halls of Congress.

Much food for thought here. I highly recommend this book, but not just because Scott is hot. Though he is.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like politics, religion is a topic best avoided in conversation, even among the closest of friends or relatives, because a person’s spiritual mindset is often based on years of experience or conditioned upbringing.

In his memoir Since My Last Confession, author Scott Pomfret examines the trials and tribulations of being both proudly gay and Catholic, neither of which he is afraid nor ashamed to discuss. As a result, his book is heartfelt, hilarious, brutally honest and, perhaps most surprisingly, educational.

Boston attorney Pomfret is especially renowned in the gay literary community for his erotic Romentics book series (titles include Hot Sauce and Razor Burn), co-authored by his life partner, Scott Whittier.

After having also served as lector at Saint Anthony Shrine in Boston’s Downtown Crossing for five years, the author receives an invitation to join his church’s lay ministry committee. For those not privy to church lingo, Pomfret enlightens the reader with handy, frequent explanations, so non-believers and Protestants alike needn’t fret.

It turns out that Pomfret’s partner is a non-believer, and his Protestant grandmother-in-law, Gram, is more taken aback by his being Catholic than gay. Add to the mix an ultra devout Catholic newlywed hetero couple, Rory and Jezebel (Whittier’s brother and sister-in-law), both of whom voted for Bush no less, and the author’s uphill battle gets a little steeper.

Not one to be outdone or discouraged, and because of (or perhaps in spite of) his unrelenting so-called Catholic guilt, Pomfret ultimately accepts his new role at Saint Anthony’s and makes it his mission to convince those within the church to rethink their longstanding views on same-sex relationships--in particular, the notorious Cardinal Sean O’Malley.

While the recurring theme of Pomfret’s memoir is his quest to rouse the attention of O’Malley, he becomes acquainted with a supporting cast of characters who truly are the heart of his story. These individuals include the Three Hale Marys, fellow lay ministers Flaherty, Flanagan and Fleming; Father Bear-Daddy, a self-professed drama queen with gay.com bookmarked on his desktop; Father Butterballino, who proves to be the author’s friend and advocate; and Father McSlutty, a sexually active, promiscuous gay priest. These are just a sampling of the surreal personalities described by the author, complete with increasingly clever, and altogether appropriate, pseudonyms.

Whether or not Pomfret’s efforts are fruitless, his memoir provides informative recounts of the pedophile priest scandal and the legal battle for same sex marriage, where the opposing views are documented and well presented. Most importantly, the author never forgets to poke fun at himself and take humorous liberty when relaying the synopsis of a discussion or noteworthy occasion. Furthermore, said events take place here in New England, which gives the work an even more personal touch.

Since My Last Confession is an absolute gem that should not be read in church, because you will not be able to resist the urge to laugh out loud.

[Vincent Hayden · Rating 4 out of 5]

I grew up Catholic, but as most gay young men I left the faith in search for something more affirming ultimately rejecting religion. I recently felt called to go back to church and one day after I stumbled into a local bookstore and saw this book. Call it coincidence or an act of god. I had to purchase it. It's not the best written book ever and is full of non-sequiturs, but it is one of the best books I've read in awhile. If you've grown up catholic, gay or both it's a definite must read. It will make you laugh and cry and question what is truly real. If you aren't catholic or even gay I still recommend it so you understand us quirky Catholics especially is gay ones.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked this, but it was tedious at points. I think if I were Catholic and/or understood how the church worked a little more, that would have helped. It is refreshing to see that not everyone in the Church is drinking the "gay people are evil" Kool-aid.

I can't imagine how difficult it is for the author to reconcile his sense of belonging to that Church with the knowledge that some of those in power feel he doesn't belong there. Even worse, I don't know how he can answer those questions for his friends and family.

[Frank · Rating 3 out of 5]

A personal story about one gay Boston Catholic and his recent spiritual journey. As someone in Boston who has visited many of the places that he talks about, it definitely rings true and reminded me of some places that no longer exist. It was a fun, quick read that was definitely not an attack on the church or the Catholic faith. One may wonder why he stays with the church that doesn't treat him all that well, but at the end you're left with some hope that by staying something good will come out of it!

[Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny but not naive, combative but not revolutionary, religious but not ridiculous.
I really enjoyed this book, particularly the footnotes (read it, you'll understand what i mean).

note: Pomfret doesn't lecture about religion, it's more of a study in perspectives. He's not trying to make you Catholic. It's about organized religion, not faith. So don't avoid this book because you're not Catholic.

[Margaret · Rating 2 out of 5]

i wanted to like this, and i did like a bunch of stuff in it, but it wasn't very well organized as a coherent whole. still, a gay catholic lawyer provides plenty of interesting fodder for me, so i'm glad i read it, and gladder still that i'll probably try to lure pomfret to outlaw week in the fall. please see highlights (forthcoming) at http://thegirlswhowearglasses.blogspo...

[Andy White · Rating 3 out of 5]

I went to Catholic school and college so was looking forward to this book. It was too much of a good thing. I was a little weary by the end. I would have liked more insight into his non-Church life as that seemed more interesting. If you went to Catholic school and ended up doubting the Church, I recommend this.

[Edward Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good content, but atrocious editing

The story was very interesting, well written and informative. However, the editing appeared to be non-existent, with a huge number of mistakes. Where quoted passages were used, their addition and treatment lacked any uniformity and were distracting.

[Paul Paré · Rating 3 out of 5]

witty, sarcastic, sometimes touching, often superficial...not sure if Pomfret is a prophet or an opportunist

[Jay · Rating 5 out of 5]

This should be mandatory reading for anyone raised Catholic.

[David Allen White · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent account of the hypocrisy of certain officials in the Roman Catholic Church.