Private Thoughts: Exploring the Power of Women’s Sexual Fantasies

by Wendy Maltz, Suzie Boss, Beverly Whipple (Foreword)

In this groundbreaking and provocative book, originally published as In the Garden of Desire, renowned sex therapist Wendy Maltz and journalist Suzie Boss guide you through the fascinating world of women’s sexual fantasies, showing how they often hold the key to increased sexual pleasure. Private Thoughts describes the most common fantasy roles for women, illuminates fantasy’s diverse functions, explores where fantasies come from, explains how to change unwanted or troublesome fantasies, and offers readers straightforward advice for talking about fantasies with a lover. The authors draw on insights gained from years of clinical experience, professional research, and intimate interviews with women of all ages and lifestyles who revealed deliciously original, sensuous, and erotic stories. Entertaining as well as informative, Private Thoughts takes readers on a unique journey of passion, pleasure, and self-discovery.

Genres: Sexuality, Nonfiction, Psychology

307 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 30, 2001

About the author

Wendy Maltz LCSW, DST is an internationally recognized author, speaker, and sex therapist. Her books include The Porn Trap, The Sexual Healing Journey, Private Thoughts, Passionate Hearts, Intimate Kisses, and Incest & Sexuality. Wendy’s highly acclaimed videos are Relearning Touch and Partners in Healing. In 2014 she received the prestigious Carnes Award from the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health. Wendy and Larry Maltz LCSW, an esteemed therapist with more than 30 years of experience, provide consultation and counseling services at Maltz Counseling Associates in Eugene, Oregon.

Reviews

[Jennie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enlightening!

[Amaryllis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned so much!!

[Henry · Rating 5 out of 5]

- Women often have fantasies they feel guilty off: they often believe their body and mind are detached of each other. However, people's fantasies are often tied to their past trauma. As a person unties and accepts their past trauma, their fantasies often change

- Women often can reach climate with their fantasy alone without the help of external stimulant (different than men)

- For women who "don't" fantasize, author noted that it's often because their past trauma or their misunderstanding of what fantasy is (a women's fantasy doesn't even need to involve sex)

- Male sexual fantasies are often stereotypical and one dimensional, whereas women's involves emotion, story lines, role playing and such and can rarely be described within one sentences

- Five most popular fantasies for men: different sexual positions, woman as aggressor, oral sex, sex with a new female partner (young and beautiful), sex on the beach

- Women's fantasies falls within 2 types: scripted (follows a plot line) or unscripted (follows merely on emotional and sexual energy the woman is feeling at the time)

- 6 most popular women's sexual fantasies categories:

-- Pretty maiden (her beauty is worshipped by others)

-- Victim (rape, forced entry etc)

-- Wild Woman (Free for all (guys))

-- Dominatrix (Use her sexuality as a lure and pick whoever she wants)

-- Beloved (love at first sight, passionate love, forbidden romance)

-- Voyeur (Observer)

- When women blame themselves for something, self-punishment through sexual fantasy can give her the thrill of the punishment