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352 pages, Paperback
First published December 19, 2023
“So, aye, princess, I want your body, but that’s only a fraction of what I want from you.”
“Princess, if the last thing I taste in this world is your pretty little pussy, I’ll die a happy man.”
“Good girl… now swallow.”
“I wanted you to know you’ll always have a place in the world where someone adores you, a place where someone is wondering where you are and if you’re okay.”
“I want someone to keep me warm… I want… I want to be important to someone.” Her voice broke in the middle. “I want someone to text me every day and ask me what I want for dinner so I can reply ‘no idea.’ I want someone to wonder where I am… I want someone to see me.”
I’d hurt her. I saw that fully now. My cold shoulder and accusations… throwing out mixed signals in an effort to protect myself. Failing to see that she needed protecting too… All of these weeks, I’d seen myself as a blip on her radar. A single star in an endless sky. A glare on the windscreen you put on sunglasses to block out. When to me… she was becoming the whole sun.
Instinct flared, that one that told me April wasn’t quite as content as she wanted the world to believe. Perhaps she wasn’t as adept at hiding it as she thought she was. Perhaps I noticed because it was the same look reflected back at me in the mirror every morning. Or perhaps I noticed because, deny it as I might, I noticed every little thing about her.This is told from the first-person past-tense POV of April and Mal.
As humans, we demanded a beginning and end to make sense of the world around us. But for this, there would be an after, but no end. My love for her was as boundless as the mountain we lay upon. When she left me, my love would remain, burning just as fiercely as it did now.
My final thought before sleep found me—April’s hair still tickling my nose—was an old Burns poem we’d recited at school,
Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun;
I will love thee still, my dear,
While the sands o’ life shall run.