החתונות שלנו

by Dorit Rabinyan, דורית רביניאן

בכוח ובנדיבות, בלחש ובסערה, מספרת דורית רביניאן - מחרבת רב המכר "סמטת השקדיות בעומריג'אן" - את סיפורי האהבה העצובים של משפחת עזיזיאן. מפרס, הודו וטורקיה ועד לגבעת-אולגה, בת-ים ורמלה. מהימים בהם היינו כולנו "בשר אחד וגדול וחם" ועד ש"הדבק הסמיך של הדמעות עשה אותנו שוב למשפחה אחת".

Genres: Fiction, Israel, Middle East, Historical Fiction, Unfinished

264 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

About the author

Dorit Rabinyan (Hebrew: דורית רביניאן) is an Israeli writer and screenwriter.
She was born in Kfar Saba to an Iranian Jewish family. She has published three novels, two of which have been widely translated. She has also published a poetry collection and an illustrated children's book. She also writes for television.
She was a close friend of Palestinian artist Hasan Hourani, and wrote a eulogy for him in The Guardian after his death in 2003.
Her 2014 novel Gader Haya (initially known as Borderlife in English, later published as All the Rivers), which tells a love story between an Israeli woman and a Palestinian man, has become the center of controversy. The novel was well-received and won the Bernstein Prize. In 2015, a committee of teachers requested Borderlife be added to the recommended curriculum for Hebrew high school literature classes. A committee in the Israeli Ministry of Education found the book inappropriate and declined to add it, on the grounds, according to The Economist, that it promotes intermarriage and assimilation. Dalia Fenig, the leading committee member, argued that the book "could do more harm than good" at this time of heightened tensions, though she noted the book was not banned and could be added next year. The decision led to protests from high school teachers and principals and opposition politician Isaac Herzog. Sales of the book have surged in the aftermath

Reviews

[Siv30 · Rating 4 out of 5]

החתונות שלנו מגולל את סיפורה של משפחת עזיזיאן אשר עלתה ארצה מפרס ומתורכיה ומתגוררת בגבעת אולגה. המשפחה מונה שבע נפשות: ההורים, סולי ואירן, דייג ועובדת ניקיון וחמשת ילדיהם, מוריס, סופיה, ליזי, מרסל ומתי. לאורך הסיפור צצים ועולים איזכורים של אימו של סולי, טוראן, דמות ציבעונית וחריגה שבחרה להביא את ילדה לארץ ישראל כאם חד הורית.

משאלת נפשה של אירן להשיא את ילדיה בזיווג הולם, אולם משזו מתקיימת, המציאות טופחת על פניה וכל הזיווגים מסתברים כעקרים, פגומים והרסניים עד כדי כך שהבנות חוזרות הביתה. כשזה קורה, אירן מוצאת עצמה מתייעצת בקוראות בקלפים, בכוסות קפה, משתטחת על קברי צדיקים ועולה לרגל לבתי רבנים בניסיון להביא תיקון לילדיה.

הבן הבכור מוריס אהוב לבבה, אותו נישקה בין רגליו ולאורך הסיפור חוזרת האימרה כפרה על הבולבול שלך, מתאהב ביצאנית בלה ודוחה. ליזי סוגדת לגופה, מתנהגת כזונה גם בהיותה רווקה וגם לאחר נישואיה. בעקבות כך בעלה, שהשמועות מגיעות אליו, מכה אותה מכות נמרצות. מרסל הנישאת לאהוב ליבה משחר ילדותה, אך כהרף עין חוזרת בה מיד לאחר החתונה. וסופיה, היחידה מבין כל האחים אשר מצליחה להינשא לאדם עשיר שגם אוהב אותה, יולדת תינוק החולה במחלת שיעולים כרונית.

את מרכז הסיפור תופסת מתי, הבת הצעירה שבמשפחה. מתי היא דמות כואבת שמייסרת את הקורא: הסיפור מתחיל ביום הולדתה ה- 11 כאשר היא חוזרת לביתה מהמוסד בו היא מאושפזת.

הסיפור של מתי מורכב, היא ילדת הזקונים של אירן וסולי שחשבו שיוולד להם בן. אבל מוני, אחיה נפטר בזמן הלידה ומתי נולדה לעולם קר ומנוכר שאימה לא מסוגלת להראות לה אהבה.

גם עתה, מתי, המעורערת בנפשה, מגיעה אל בית הוריה אבל אף אחד לא שת ליבו אליה. הקורא מגלה כי זה גם יום מותו של אחיה התאום מוני. למעשה, מחלת הנפש ממנה מתי סובלת, המשבשת את דעתה, מקורה במותו של תאומה בזמן הלידה. הפרקים השונים נותנים לקורא מבט והצצה לפנימיות של מתי שניכרת בדואליות: בנפשה מקנן כפיל הרסני המופיע בדמותו של התאום המת, מוני. השניות הזו היא שדוחפת את מתי לבצע מעשים איומים.

אבל מתי היא האנטי גיבור המפתיע של הסיפור הזה. היא האמיצה שבין האחיות. בפרק האחרון היא מצליחה באופן הירואי להציל את עצמה מהעבר ומההווה העגום שלה. בגיל 11 היא פותחת דלת לעתיד טוב יותר.

יש משהו מאוד יפה ומאוד פמניסטי בספר הזה. מאוד נשי. בעולם שבו גברים נעדרים, לנשים יש תפקיד מכריע בעיצוב העולם ובהנעתו גם אם במחיר אישי לא פשוט.

[Susie Burnett · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really good fiction novel, about a Persian family living in Israel. It was about being a mom, and letting go of the outcome regarding what children choose to be and do when they grow up.

Page 245 - Daugher to Mother - "Why do you take all our troubles into your heart? Why don't you look after yourself, instead of crying for us all day and all night? Why don't you take better care of your heart, our Mama?"

"Why do you love us so much? I mean, love us too much, just like that, witout limit, without ever drawing a line and saying, That's it, no more! You should be thinking, like, This is me. That's my body. And this is where my flesh ends and there's some skin on it. Then there's a bit of space, all right? Okay, so in this space I'm going to put all my children't troubles, right here! Between you, Mama, and myself, between you and Sofia, you and Maurice, Lizzie, even Matti. I mean, you don't need to cry and cry the whole time. Each on has his own mess and his own shit, so let each one cry for himself. By himself. 'Cause those are our pains, Mama, not yours, so stop now!

Page 247 - "You were just a child. What did you know about life, anyway? You gave us your soul. But look now, your belly is empty and we're big, thank God. Not children anymore. That you gave birth to us means that...it means that you gave us life, but you gave t to us to live, didn't you?"

[El · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story actually begins with the pearls. Iran's mother sewed a long strand of pearls onto her wedding dress, and on the wedding night the pearls play an important symbolic part in the rest of the story. The book itself is about the children of Iran and Solly, their relationships in the world, their very different personalities, their place in the family. The chapters are devoted to each one separately and the reader follows their lives from childhood to adulthood, their dreams of their own weddings and their often differing realities.

I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I picked it up randomly at the library and figured it would be the one that I returned without finishing. In reality though I started reading it last night with Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban playing (again) on ABC Family and found that not even Harry Potter could distract me completely from the book. I managed to finish it in a few hours and found it was quite a charming little book. Rabinyan's first book, Persian Brides was supposedly a huge success, so I look forward to checking that one out as well.

[Jennifer Murray · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's hard for me to decide how I feel about this book. A lot of it was very disjointed in its story telling that it was almost jarring. And yet the vivid details and the realness of it all was fully heartbreaking and heartwarming. I think the overall point, though, is that a family is like a tree and the branches and roots spread and grow, all tethered together, weathered and budding alike. There were parts that were hard to understand or grasp but at the same time it just felt like such a mirror of real life that it was genuis.

[Sally Andrews · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to love this book but I just couldn't. It was masterfully written prose-wise, but the story fell flat and I lost interest pretty quickly. I regained it in spurts, but it would go away again and I couldn't wait to finish.

[Marcia Shimshak · Rating 1 out of 5]

Although I read 102 pages, I really couldn’t tell you what this book is about. I’m really looking forward to reading a good book. Any recommendations?

[Carole Yaffe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Different to my usual books. About a Persian family living in Israel, the story of the children, their growing up and how each one developed as they grew up, discovering the realities of life.

[Kristin]

Abandoned due to it being slice of life and rather dreary.

[Leena-Maaretta Dixon · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the pacing at times felt off and the language a bit too rich, the characters are entertaining, multi- layered and wonderfully flawed. "Our weddings" is able to showcase the melancholy of life and love through a family saga storytelling. Rabinyan in this novel, like in her other (masterful) novel "All the rivers", also gives representation to Jewish people of Persian decent, an often overlooked group.

Here's my more detailed review: https://youtu.be/ryo_6I_KvGg

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

More like a 1.5 rating because parts of it were downright gross. The worst part is that the novel starts off with beautiful writing and suggests an interesting read, but I didn't find it very engaging after the first few chapters. I was about one chapter from the end when I gave up, mostly because I don't understand how it went downhill so fast.

[Lori McLellan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novel is a story of a Middle Eastern family. All the children grow up with a desire and a romanticized view of love and marriage, which, in the harsh reality of life, are doomed to fail. In the centre is the mother who both loves and suffers on her children's behalf and can't seem to figure out when her children end and she begins.

[Dami Cobb · Rating 2 out of 5]

The big picture of the book draws you in, together with the writing. But beyond that, the book fell flat, and there seemed to be no real direction for the characters. This made it really difficult to empathize with any of the characters, not even Matti, the youngest who was supposed to tug at your heart strings the hardest.

[Judy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rabinyan's writing is superbly descriptive..."The smell was so good, and the air felt so sweet. Iran stood up, approached the water's edge and saw its murky tongues licking and frothing." I enjoyed reading the novel for her beautiful prose but while the first half was captivating, she lost direction and I lost interest in the Azizyan family before the end.

[Ana Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book begins with a beautifully woven story about a mother and her family. Although parts of the book were beautiful and beautifully written, in the end the story line left me unsure and disappointed.

[Kylie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Odd, perhaps the cultural differences were hard to communicate in translation. I think I might have missed the point. Even so, there was a richness in the descriptions of a very different world to the one I live in.

[Alexis]

So far, not so good, although I find the descriptions of nature in the city deft.

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the language of the book, but the plot/story line was a bit disjointed. I did not have a lot of empathy for any of the characters because of the construction of the book.

[Lynn · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very disappointing. The first chapter captured my attention and drew me in. However, the story really didn't go anywhere. There seemed to be no direction or purpose.

[Ellen · Rating 2 out of 5]

meh.

[Alexandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book's plot was fairly depressing, but its lush prose and descriptive passages redeemed it somewhat. Not exactly a memorable read.

[Grada (BoekenTrol)]

The Stichting Overal in Nijmegen cleared out some shelves. I received part of the books in a book box in Castricum. Thanks!

[Barbra Gradus · Rating 1 out of 5]

Really terrible unless you like overly descriptive to the point of ridiculous.

[Michele · Rating 3 out of 5]

never finished, lost interest