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The Field Guide to Dumb Birds #3
A Dumb Birds Field Guide to the Worst Birds Ever
Professional birding amateur and national bestselling author Matt Kracht has had it with these goddamn birds. His new book is a warning, a field guide to help you identify and stay away from the absolute worst birds ever to plague planet Earth. Featuring an all-new scientific scale devised by the author that proves how awful birds really are.
We can all agree—birds are terrible. They're stupid and won't shut up.
Featuring fifty of the absolute worst birds to fly the earth, Kracht identifies each of their most terrible qualities, details exactly why they suck, and shows you why with furious (but actually quite lovely) full-color drawings. Including all-new, all-worst fowl, such absolute waste of feathers Cruddy Turdstone (Ruddy Turnstone)The utter a-hole Blank Staring-Eyes Flycrapper (Black Paradise Flycatcher)The outright loser Dowdy Woodfucker (Downy Woodpecker)And many more
Even the author's previous bird takedown guides are no preparation for this hilariously harrowing collection of squawking, conceited, trash-eating, and even murderous idiots. The horror. The horror . . .
LOVE BIRDS? HATE BIRDS?: For those who hate birds and for bird lovers everywhere with a sense of humor, this illustrated handbook is equal parts profane and funny, and—let's face it—true.
BESTSELLING Matt Kracht is the author of the bestselling Field Guide to Dumb Birds series, including The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World, and The Big Dumb Bird Journal, and (in a startling turn of enthusiasm) OMFG, BEES!
ENTERTAINING AND This uproarious guide to all things wings includes migratory maps, tips for bird identification, musings on the avian population and classification, and more. Plus, each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.
TRULY THE WORST BIRDS---A MUST-HAVE Even if you're familiar with the winged disasters from Matt's previous guidebook/warnings, buckle up. From the
"Birds are TERRIBLE. I have spent years, YEARS, of my life studying birds. Watching them. Analyzing their behaviors. Determining their ‘contributions’ to the world. I am an expert, so believe me when I tell you Birds are horrible people. And the birds included in THIS book are, by far, the worst of the lot. Of all the shit-eating birds that I’ve had the misfortune to catalog over the course of my career as a scientist and professional bird critic, THESE birds take the absolute SHIT-CAKE!"
GREAT GIFT FOR BIRD Pair with The Field Guide to Dumb Birds Sticker Book to create the perfect present for full-on bird experts and amateur birders alike.
Perfect and nature enthusiastsPeople who think birds are creepy or annoying (and people who love birds but also enjoy a good laugh)Anyone looking for the ultimate coffee table book or bar-top conversation starterGift givers seeking a fun, quirky gift for their favorite bird enthusiast or animal lover
We can all agree—birds are terrible. They're stupid and won't shut up.
Featuring fifty of the absolute worst birds to fly the earth, Kracht identifies each of their most terrible qualities, details exactly why they suck, and shows you why with furious (but actually quite lovely) full-color drawings. Including all-new, all-worst fowl, such absolute waste of feathers Cruddy Turdstone (Ruddy Turnstone)The utter a-hole Blank Staring-Eyes Flycrapper (Black Paradise Flycatcher)The outright loser Dowdy Woodfucker (Downy Woodpecker)And many more
Even the author's previous bird takedown guides are no preparation for this hilariously harrowing collection of squawking, conceited, trash-eating, and even murderous idiots. The horror. The horror . . .
LOVE BIRDS? HATE BIRDS?: For those who hate birds and for bird lovers everywhere with a sense of humor, this illustrated handbook is equal parts profane and funny, and—let's face it—true.
BESTSELLING Matt Kracht is the author of the bestselling Field Guide to Dumb Birds series, including The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World, and The Big Dumb Bird Journal, and (in a startling turn of enthusiasm) OMFG, BEES!
ENTERTAINING AND This uproarious guide to all things wings includes migratory maps, tips for bird identification, musings on the avian population and classification, and more. Plus, each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.
TRULY THE WORST BIRDS---A MUST-HAVE Even if you're familiar with the winged disasters from Matt's previous guidebook/warnings, buckle up. From the
"Birds are TERRIBLE. I have spent years, YEARS, of my life studying birds. Watching them. Analyzing their behaviors. Determining their ‘contributions’ to the world. I am an expert, so believe me when I tell you Birds are horrible people. And the birds included in THIS book are, by far, the worst of the lot. Of all the shit-eating birds that I’ve had the misfortune to catalog over the course of my career as a scientist and professional bird critic, THESE birds take the absolute SHIT-CAKE!"
GREAT GIFT FOR BIRD Pair with The Field Guide to Dumb Birds Sticker Book to create the perfect present for full-on bird experts and amateur birders alike.
Perfect and nature enthusiastsPeople who think birds are creepy or annoying (and people who love birds but also enjoy a good laugh)Anyone looking for the ultimate coffee table book or bar-top conversation starterGift givers seeking a fun, quirky gift for their favorite bird enthusiast or animal lover
200 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 1, 2025
About the author
Matt Kracht
13 books149 followersWriter and artist, Matt Kracht is the author of OMFG, BEES!: Bees Are So Amazing and You're About to Find Out Why (Chronicle Books, March 2023), and the bestselling books, The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America (Chronicle Books, 2019), and The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of the Whole Stupid World (Chronicle Books, 2021).
Both books in the Field Guide to Dumb Birds series were Goodreads Choice Awards finalists in the Humor category.
Kracht lives with his wife in Tacoma, Washington, where they enjoy gazing at the beautiful waters of the Puget Sound and making fun of birds.
Both books in the Field Guide to Dumb Birds series were Goodreads Choice Awards finalists in the Humor category.
Kracht lives with his wife in Tacoma, Washington, where they enjoy gazing at the beautiful waters of the Puget Sound and making fun of birds.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 143 reviews
April 29, 2025
I suspect Matt Kracht secretly loves birds.
In his funnily foul-mouthed Dumb Birds Field Guide to the Worst Birds Ever, Mr. Kracht parodies field guides and categorizes birds into groups such as, 'Headaches with Feathers,' 'Creeps and Weirdos,' and 'Losers.'
The reader is treated to a made-up bird name (such as 'Northern Pinhead' for 'Northern Pintail) along with scientific-styled factual descriptions to follow. The text is peppered with the author's invective and personal rating system. A lovely hand drawing of each bird is provided.
This book was grand. I laughed constantly and read parts aloud to my hubby. Because birds can be jerks at times, the little sweethearts. Just yesterday my catbird was flirting with my next door teen aged neighbor, singing his heart for her and making up songs that he never sang to me. What a ham.
In his funnily foul-mouthed Dumb Birds Field Guide to the Worst Birds Ever, Mr. Kracht parodies field guides and categorizes birds into groups such as, 'Headaches with Feathers,' 'Creeps and Weirdos,' and 'Losers.'
The reader is treated to a made-up bird name (such as 'Northern Pinhead' for 'Northern Pintail) along with scientific-styled factual descriptions to follow. The text is peppered with the author's invective and personal rating system. A lovely hand drawing of each bird is provided.
This book was grand. I laughed constantly and read parts aloud to my hubby. Because birds can be jerks at times, the little sweethearts. Just yesterday my catbird was flirting with my next door teen aged neighbor, singing his heart for her and making up songs that he never sang to me. What a ham.
March 3, 2025
I visited my nephew over the weekend and we made a trip to B&N (nominally because I wanted to buy him a book that I selfishly wanted to read before gifting to him - but it was out of stock. BOO!) so he ended up getting this book instead. (Or in addition. Probably.)
He then spent the car ride home, and the rest of the weekend, reading it at me, and showing me all of the funny stuff contained inside, and the educational and informational cool stuff in and around the 'tude that the crotchety old man shaking his fist at the sky (because that's where birds are) uses to describe them. Stuff like a certain bird being nearly hunted to extinction so that Victorian era ladies could wear parts of their dead bird bodies on their hats - until a conservation society lobbied to save them, and now they are all over the place (thanks a lot, hippies!)
For the record, my nephew is eleven (11) years old, and this book is NOT age appropriate for most 11 year olds. There's a lot of cussing and suchlike in this, and while he grew up in my family (thus his first word was likely a four-letter one), I don't think that most 11 year olds would be the ideal audience for this.
Still, it's a fun foul-mouthed fowl book, and the nephew really liked it (especially the drawings and stats and random info including which birds' tails are just TOO LONG, etc) so I would recommend it... for grown ups who ACT like children, not actual children. :P
He then spent the car ride home, and the rest of the weekend, reading it at me, and showing me all of the funny stuff contained inside, and the educational and informational cool stuff in and around the 'tude that the crotchety old man shaking his fist at the sky (because that's where birds are) uses to describe them. Stuff like a certain bird being nearly hunted to extinction so that Victorian era ladies could wear parts of their dead bird bodies on their hats - until a conservation society lobbied to save them, and now they are all over the place (thanks a lot, hippies!)
For the record, my nephew is eleven (11) years old, and this book is NOT age appropriate for most 11 year olds. There's a lot of cussing and suchlike in this, and while he grew up in my family (thus his first word was likely a four-letter one), I don't think that most 11 year olds would be the ideal audience for this.
Still, it's a fun foul-mouthed fowl book, and the nephew really liked it (especially the drawings and stats and random info including which birds' tails are just TOO LONG, etc) so I would recommend it... for grown ups who ACT like children, not actual children. :P
August 6, 2025
This extremely snarky field guide managed to teach me about birds while making me laugh out loud. What makes this different from typical field guides is each bird is harshly critiqued for what the author considers are its biggest flaws. But also nestled inside are lovely little drawings of every bird along with some factual details. The author also includes his own "scientific ratings", which are complete bunk but also complete silly fun.
I could not help but agree that the Fire Kite does in fact sound like a jerk-bird who qualifies as a worst bird for their propensity to help start fires (they prey on the small animals as they flee fires). Other birds seem unfairly maligned, like the Wandering Albatross that can fly for 2 years without landing on ground, 2 years!
Anyone who enjoys birds will appreciate this humorous little book but parents and those of a delicate nature be forewarned, the language does get a bit salty at times with f-bombs and other swear words.
I could not help but agree that the Fire Kite does in fact sound like a jerk-bird who qualifies as a worst bird for their propensity to help start fires (they prey on the small animals as they flee fires). Other birds seem unfairly maligned, like the Wandering Albatross that can fly for 2 years without landing on ground, 2 years!
Anyone who enjoys birds will appreciate this humorous little book but parents and those of a delicate nature be forewarned, the language does get a bit salty at times with f-bombs and other swear words.
September 24, 2024
As all birders know, birds in general are loathsome creatures prone to hiding behind leaves or turning around to show you their cloacas or just taking off exactly when you get your viewfinder / binoculars on them. So Matt Kracht's hostility and resentment will resonate with all of us.
(Seriously: a very funny book to dip in and out of. As far as I can tell the factual information, though presented comically, is correct. And the illustrations are beautifully done. A treat for any birder with a sense of humor.)
Thanks to Edelweiss, NetGalley, and Chronicle for the ARC.
(Seriously: a very funny book to dip in and out of. As far as I can tell the factual information, though presented comically, is correct. And the illustrations are beautifully done. A treat for any birder with a sense of humor.)
Thanks to Edelweiss, NetGalley, and Chronicle for the ARC.
October 22, 2024
I loved this book. The whole concept of the book is amazing; giving critical reviews to various bird species. The book is highly informative with amazingly snappy writing. The illustrations with the hand-written notes are terrific. The book kept me enthralled and smiling, frequently laughing, from start to finish. This is a great way to teach. Thank you to Netgalley and Chronicle Books for the advance reader copy.
February 21, 2025
I am trying my hardest not to be disappointed. Author Matt Kracht, in the very title, promises a guide to the worst birds ever. By that, I thought Kracht would not allow time nor space to limit his hilarity. I thought his latest field guide to birds would tackle the worst birds ever, including extinct ones who, thankfully, can no longer pester us humans. At least that would be Kracht’s ever-so-sly take.
Alas, no. Instead it is a third guide to birds, with most of the really interesting and hilarious birds already included in the previous two. As usual, Kracht comes up with a colorful name for each bird while sharing their scientific name, actual common name, a wonderful illustration and lots of information about them, so readers learn quite a bit about these birds. And, in fairness to Kracht, some of these birds are quite awful: raiding others’ nests, eating garbage, defecating freely and frequently, even putting on airs! Here’s a sample for the Cruddy Turdstone (a.k.a. the Ruddy Turnstone):
To be fair, Kracht is right on all counts. However, he was laugh-until-you’re-crying funny in the original The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, and now, well….
In the interest of full disclosure, I received this book from NetGalley and Chronicle Books in exchange for an honest review.
Alas, no. Instead it is a third guide to birds, with most of the really interesting and hilarious birds already included in the previous two. As usual, Kracht comes up with a colorful name for each bird while sharing their scientific name, actual common name, a wonderful illustration and lots of information about them, so readers learn quite a bit about these birds. And, in fairness to Kracht, some of these birds are quite awful: raiding others’ nests, eating garbage, defecating freely and frequently, even putting on airs! Here’s a sample for the Cruddy Turdstone (a.k.a. the Ruddy Turnstone):
The Ruddy Turnstone is considered cosmopolitan — not cosmopolitan like they’re all sporting the latest fashion while they sip martinis and discuss French New Wave film in swanky I bars. Ha ha, no, these birds are not stylish or fun.
To be fair, Kracht is right on all counts. However, he was laugh-until-you’re-crying funny in the original The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, and now, well….
In the interest of full disclosure, I received this book from NetGalley and Chronicle Books in exchange for an honest review.
April 13, 2025
Matt Kracht is hilariously over the top angry about birds. Imagine a Lenny Henry as Gareth Blackstock swearing about goddamn birds and you have a very good idea of what you’re in for. Very much my cup of tea.
BUMMR Rating:
Swearing: +57
Artwork: +100
Scientific excellence: +75
———————————————————
Great read for sweary people who like (or dislike) birds: 100%
BUMMR Rating:
Swearing: +57
Artwork: +100
Scientific excellence: +75
———————————————————
Great read for sweary people who like (or dislike) birds: 100%
March 11, 2025
A Dumb Birds Field Guide to the Worst Birds Ever by Matt Kracht is narrated by Patrick Lawlor to hilarious effect.
This guide will give you the scoop on the absolute WORST birds. You'll get info on their appearance, where they live, what weird noises they make, what they eat (and in some cases what eats them), you'll even get a so-so avian anatomy lesson and learn way more than you ever wanted to know about bird feet!
We'll learn about birds from all over the world... but they won't be categorized by region, no. That would be far too easy. In this guide, our feathered frenemies are grouped in accordance with *checks notes* "their primary effect on the human psyche" which is fancy talk for how much and in what way they annoy the author.
Once in their proper groups, the birds are ranked using Kracht's Bird Universal Mathematical Modeling and Ranking system or BUMMR. The absolute inconsistency of the BUMMR ratings was kind of spectacular.
I laughed a lot, I learned some cool sh*t, I was excited that Another Hummingbird was included. They are my very favorite birds!
I highly recommend this audiobook if you're in need of a good laugh and not opposed to learning a little something about the natural world in the process.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I received this audiobook from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
This guide will give you the scoop on the absolute WORST birds. You'll get info on their appearance, where they live, what weird noises they make, what they eat (and in some cases what eats them), you'll even get a so-so avian anatomy lesson and learn way more than you ever wanted to know about bird feet!
We'll learn about birds from all over the world... but they won't be categorized by region, no. That would be far too easy. In this guide, our feathered frenemies are grouped in accordance with *checks notes* "their primary effect on the human psyche" which is fancy talk for how much and in what way they annoy the author.
Once in their proper groups, the birds are ranked using Kracht's Bird Universal Mathematical Modeling and Ranking system or BUMMR. The absolute inconsistency of the BUMMR ratings was kind of spectacular.
I laughed a lot, I learned some cool sh*t, I was excited that Another Hummingbird was included. They are my very favorite birds!
I highly recommend this audiobook if you're in need of a good laugh and not opposed to learning a little something about the natural world in the process.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I received this audiobook from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
October 15, 2025
It is utterly absurd to write a bird guide based on entirely made up and inconsistent criteria feeding a rating system that catalogues how annoying species of birds are, yet Matt Kracht has done it anyway, and it is delightful.
This is a short and quick read (as all of this sort of content should be), and Kracht does a terrific job of blending comedy into nature writing.
I laughed out loud a LOT while reading this, mostly at the absurd ratings given to each bird, and yet I also learned a lot from it. It’s difficult to both make fun of and educate on a topic successfully, but I find that the best nonfiction writers tend to excel at it. This is an extreme version of that idea, but it still works.
That said…no matter what Kracht tells us in this volume, I suspect he doesn’t actually hate birds at all (wink, wink)
This is a short and quick read (as all of this sort of content should be), and Kracht does a terrific job of blending comedy into nature writing.
I laughed out loud a LOT while reading this, mostly at the absurd ratings given to each bird, and yet I also learned a lot from it. It’s difficult to both make fun of and educate on a topic successfully, but I find that the best nonfiction writers tend to excel at it. This is an extreme version of that idea, but it still works.
That said…no matter what Kracht tells us in this volume, I suspect he doesn’t actually hate birds at all (wink, wink)
April 15, 2025
I love birds.... this author has a different opinion. Pretty funny... but lots of swearing.
March 21, 2025
Silly little book about silly little birds. I giggled a few times and will probably look at some of these birds in the wild and laugh.
August 28, 2025
Hilarious! Great to flip through periodically when needing a bit of humor. The illustrations were mostly accurate- I looked up some of the more beautiful birds online for myself. Super cute!
March 13, 2025
A Dumb Birds Field Guide To the Worst Birds Ever, is the third book in The Dumb Birds series by Matt Krachtt instead of focusing on certain regions, in this book the author focuses on everywhere from Asia to Australia America and the Europe. He talks about all types of birds the reasons they’re annoying the way they like to impress others and he even rates them on everything from dumbness likability and even taste. What they get rated on changes from bird to bird or section to section in the rating system really makes no sense but only adds to the lol moments included in this funny but informational book. He talks about all kinds of birds from big old ostriches to itty-bitty hummingbirds to the tiny woodpecker only found in Scotland to those who like to dive bomb in those who can’t fly at all. He really did a great job picking the narrator for these books because OMG the super sarcastic and hilarious Patrick Lawler gave another awesome performance. I love these books and this is a fast fun read and I would definitely suggest you get the audiobook because as I said the sarcasm of the narrator makes it that much funnier. I do want to say however throughout the whole book I was laughing along but for some reason I felt so bad for the dumb ostrich. shame on you Mr. Kracht… Lol! if you love humorous books and only have a passing fascination with birds you should still definitely get this book I highly recommend it and totally loved it! Can’t wait for the next one. #NetGalley, #TantorAudio, #TheBlindReviewer, #MyHonestReview,#MattKracht,#ADumbBirdsFieldGuideToTheWorstBirdsEver,
April 6, 2026
The good: I learned about birds. There’s some fun facts in here (that the author presents as if he’s annoyed by these, but I assume he knows these are cool and fun facts and is secretly pro-birds). I like the illustrations. I think they’re very nice.
The bad: I did not laugh a single time. This is his 3rd dumb birds book and I was tired of the joke before I even finished the first one. I think this author should stop writing these. I think he is writing these because people keep buying them and I can only assume that the people buying them are like my mom trying to get silly gifts for the birders they know in their lives. (Thanks mom. I appreciate it even if I’m insulting the book.) If it isn’t useful as a field guide and it isn’t funny then there’s no value this book provides. I think calling a bird stupid and annoying isn’t a great joke. Doing it 100+ (I didn’t count) times across 3 books just gets tiresome
The bad: I did not laugh a single time. This is his 3rd dumb birds book and I was tired of the joke before I even finished the first one. I think this author should stop writing these. I think he is writing these because people keep buying them and I can only assume that the people buying them are like my mom trying to get silly gifts for the birders they know in their lives. (Thanks mom. I appreciate it even if I’m insulting the book.) If it isn’t useful as a field guide and it isn’t funny then there’s no value this book provides. I think calling a bird stupid and annoying isn’t a great joke. Doing it 100+ (I didn’t count) times across 3 books just gets tiresome
January 24, 2026
A very interesting bird field guide!
I have been entertained by all 3 books of this series & have enjoyed everyone of them. Written with a foul-mouth, Kracht has made these books very entertaining. He renames the birds using colourful language, provides its real name, provides a description, a bird region, identification & a great illustration along with a bummr rating.
Hilarious, fun to share facts, & definitely entertaining, I am now the proud owner of all 3 books. I love birds & these books have me smiling!!
I have been entertained by all 3 books of this series & have enjoyed everyone of them. Written with a foul-mouth, Kracht has made these books very entertaining. He renames the birds using colourful language, provides its real name, provides a description, a bird region, identification & a great illustration along with a bummr rating.
Hilarious, fun to share facts, & definitely entertaining, I am now the proud owner of all 3 books. I love birds & these books have me smiling!!
September 29, 2024
I love this book series, and I was very excited to see another one was coming out. As usual, I laughed my way through this book, but also learned a little. Thanks to Netgalley for the free copy in exchange for an honest review.
June 5, 2025
An excellent compendium of knowledge about nature's biggest mistake- birds. Hopefully you're fortunate enough never to encounter feathered foes, but if you do, this book will help you identify them and their weaknesses.
July 29, 2025
I flipped through a couple pages at my local book shop and cackled so much I had to bring it home. I’m shocked I didn’t know about the series and will go back to the first book and properly educate myself on dumb birds!
October 3, 2025
I actually really love birds, so its kind of funny that I enjoyed this book so much. But although I do love them, they are sort of idiots, and the author's artwork and descriptions captures this perfectly
May 19, 2025
This is a humorous and somewhat vulgar explanation of common birds. It is a laugh!
October 17, 2025
Hilarious & clever premise, liberally sprinkled with bird-insulting profanity - I read this in a single afternoon & it was a nice comedic palate-cleanser.
January 27, 2026
I love a bird book that labels birds as "dumb fucks." A hilarious read! I'm going to have to find the other books in this series. Some horrifying information about birds in the last section.
May 15, 2025
A++, 10/10, would read (and laugh) again.
The drawings are absolutely beautiful! It's worth it to find a copy for the illustrations alone.
The drawings are absolutely beautiful! It's worth it to find a copy for the illustrations alone.
February 8, 2026
I drove my husband mad reading this- I kept getting up to read him descriptions! I texted them to friends!
This absolutely cracked me up. And contained a surprising amount of actual field guide information !
This absolutely cracked me up. And contained a surprising amount of actual field guide information !
February 26, 2025
Once again Matt Kracht has submitted to his readership a hilarious, foulmouthed take on the birds of our world. His third book dedicated to judging and criticizing our feathered friends - or nemeses - highlights some of the worst birds you can find. He rates each species on a proprietary BUMMR (Bird Universal Mathematical Modeling and Ranking) system that uses a variety of factors to assess the birds with results like: 'Enjoyability Equivalent: Permeant Tinnitus' to 'Good Person?: -1,082'.
I have been a serious birder for 15 years, but I am not beyond cussing out a bird at the end of a long day, so I feel sympatico with Kracht in this respect. His illustrations are beautiful and beneath all of the obscenities and jokes you will end up actually learning something about each species.
Thank you Chronicle Books, Matt Kracht, and NetGalley for providing this ARC for my unbiased review.
I have been a serious birder for 15 years, but I am not beyond cussing out a bird at the end of a long day, so I feel sympatico with Kracht in this respect. His illustrations are beautiful and beneath all of the obscenities and jokes you will end up actually learning something about each species.
Thank you Chronicle Books, Matt Kracht, and NetGalley for providing this ARC for my unbiased review.
September 3, 2025
Matt Kracht is back disparaging the bird world. He uses a unique and hilarious rating system and fabulously insulting descriptions. This is definitely not the book for bird lovers lacking a sense of humour and bad language is added as if it were cheese on a pizza. I loved it though, as he still manages to teach you about these birds while making you laugh. There’s a particularly good haiku about woodpeckers (he hates woodpeckers!) and the page characterizing bird shapes is fabulous. I love this series and look forward to more.
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November 1, 2025Hilarious!
June 2, 2025
3.5 stars rounded up.
Lol, that really is the entire title, which should prepare you for the irreverent humor within the pages of this bird guide, written from the point of view of someone who (hilariously) loathes birds.
Matt Kracht has been writing about birds for quite a while: while he might really hate them, he certainly knows his enemy! In this third installment of the series, he takes a look at what he deems the Worst Birds Ever. Unsurprisingly, there are a lot of highly qualified candidates for his list here!
In the tradition of all the Dumb Birds books so far, he describes why he made each of these fifty selections while giving it a fairly comprehensive field guide breakdown. Thus you get each bird's mean nickname, scientific name, common name, then a long description of why it's terrible. You also get a short physical description and an accompanying illustration that's really quite well done for amateur work! Each entry is rounded out with a note as to the regions where the bird may be found, before an idiosyncratic rating according to the Bird Universal Mathematical Modeling and Ranking (BUMMR) system. The BUMMR system doesn't make sense and doesn't have to, tho Mr Kracht's explanation of it and where one can send critiques is just another humorous part of this book.
Comedy-wise, my personal favorite bit was the opening, which involves an argument with his doctor over the calming effect of birdwatching. As funny as it can be to read the author's (not entirely unjustified) rants, his humor really shines when he has a human foil to work off of.
That said, this guide is a surprisingly fresh way to learn about birds in a manner that doesn't feel at all like a textbook. I probably know a little more about birds than the average person does (if my Learned League scores are anything to go by, lol) and even I felt like I was learning some interesting new stuff here. Mr Kracht's approach to birding also makes what can feel like an impenetrable hobby seem accessible to anyone, especially when he complains about how physically annoying the pastime can be. His well-placed jabs at ornithology are also hilarious. The page on identifying Brown Thrashers highlights one particularly aggravating aspect of birding: those six birds literally all look the same, especially in the wild and on the wing!
If you're looking for a different but entertaining perspective on this ubiquitous but surprisingly challenging hobby, then you definitely need to check out this entire series. This latest installment is a standout in how it specifically highlights the literal worst birds -- from the merely annoying to the outright murderous -- but all the books are equally fun and informative, and an excellent addition to the library of any bird enthusiast. Well, for any bird enthusiast who doesn't mind some curse words and grumbling with their hobby anyway.
A Dumb Birds Field Guide To The Worst Birds Ever by Matt Kracht was published March 11 2025 by Chronicle Books and is available from all good booksellers, including Bookshop!
This review originally appeared at TheFrumiousConsortium.net.
Lol, that really is the entire title, which should prepare you for the irreverent humor within the pages of this bird guide, written from the point of view of someone who (hilariously) loathes birds.
Matt Kracht has been writing about birds for quite a while: while he might really hate them, he certainly knows his enemy! In this third installment of the series, he takes a look at what he deems the Worst Birds Ever. Unsurprisingly, there are a lot of highly qualified candidates for his list here!
In the tradition of all the Dumb Birds books so far, he describes why he made each of these fifty selections while giving it a fairly comprehensive field guide breakdown. Thus you get each bird's mean nickname, scientific name, common name, then a long description of why it's terrible. You also get a short physical description and an accompanying illustration that's really quite well done for amateur work! Each entry is rounded out with a note as to the regions where the bird may be found, before an idiosyncratic rating according to the Bird Universal Mathematical Modeling and Ranking (BUMMR) system. The BUMMR system doesn't make sense and doesn't have to, tho Mr Kracht's explanation of it and where one can send critiques is just another humorous part of this book.
Comedy-wise, my personal favorite bit was the opening, which involves an argument with his doctor over the calming effect of birdwatching. As funny as it can be to read the author's (not entirely unjustified) rants, his humor really shines when he has a human foil to work off of.
That said, this guide is a surprisingly fresh way to learn about birds in a manner that doesn't feel at all like a textbook. I probably know a little more about birds than the average person does (if my Learned League scores are anything to go by, lol) and even I felt like I was learning some interesting new stuff here. Mr Kracht's approach to birding also makes what can feel like an impenetrable hobby seem accessible to anyone, especially when he complains about how physically annoying the pastime can be. His well-placed jabs at ornithology are also hilarious. The page on identifying Brown Thrashers highlights one particularly aggravating aspect of birding: those six birds literally all look the same, especially in the wild and on the wing!
If you're looking for a different but entertaining perspective on this ubiquitous but surprisingly challenging hobby, then you definitely need to check out this entire series. This latest installment is a standout in how it specifically highlights the literal worst birds -- from the merely annoying to the outright murderous -- but all the books are equally fun and informative, and an excellent addition to the library of any bird enthusiast. Well, for any bird enthusiast who doesn't mind some curse words and grumbling with their hobby anyway.
A Dumb Birds Field Guide To The Worst Birds Ever by Matt Kracht was published March 11 2025 by Chronicle Books and is available from all good booksellers, including Bookshop!
This review originally appeared at TheFrumiousConsortium.net.
March 25, 2026
“Each entry includes an illustration, a description, and corresponding notes on a bird’s range, behavior, calls, and what the hell the bird’s problem is. These are intended not only to aid with proper identification, but also to help you on your way to a deeper understanding of their personality flaws.”
—
Look, sometimes, animals… are jerks. They’re loud, or they steal things, or they go out of their way to show off. Matt Kracht has had enough of it. He wrote two books about birds you can find in the US and the world, but now he’s stepping it up with the WORST BIRDS EVER. The biggest douchebags of all the feathered fiends out there, regardless of where they live, are detailed here in this helpful guide. Each bird even gets a rating with the Bird Universal Mathematical Modeling and Ranking system (BUMMR), that tells you all that you need to know about them.
[The BUMMER rating is definitely based on hard math, guys. It’s scientifically tested!]
In case you couldn’t tell, it’s a field guide about interesting birds, dressed up in a hilariously vulgar set of insults. One might even suspect that the author actually likes studying birds! You actually receive plenty of good information on how to identify different species by their looks and behaviors, and where in the world they might be found. So even when the author tells you that he’s tired of drawing another darn hummingbird or woodpecker, the reader will have plenty of specific information from the illustrations and descriptions.
Of course, it’s also a very funny guide about birds and their moral failings. Because birds can be jerks! They don’t consider your feelings at all when they do their thing! It’s infuriating! What a bunch of weirdos. And they can be found pretty much anywhere, so it isn’t as if you can escape their rudeness by going somewhere safe.
It’s very over-the-top, very ridiculous, and very, very funny. If that sounds like your cup of tea, pick up this book, or one of Matt Kracht’s other bird books (though he also has one on bees, which he seems to like much better).
—
“We can all agree–birds are terrible. They’re stupid and won’t shut up.”
—
Look, sometimes, animals… are jerks. They’re loud, or they steal things, or they go out of their way to show off. Matt Kracht has had enough of it. He wrote two books about birds you can find in the US and the world, but now he’s stepping it up with the WORST BIRDS EVER. The biggest douchebags of all the feathered fiends out there, regardless of where they live, are detailed here in this helpful guide. Each bird even gets a rating with the Bird Universal Mathematical Modeling and Ranking system (BUMMR), that tells you all that you need to know about them.
[The BUMMER rating is definitely based on hard math, guys. It’s scientifically tested!]
In case you couldn’t tell, it’s a field guide about interesting birds, dressed up in a hilariously vulgar set of insults. One might even suspect that the author actually likes studying birds! You actually receive plenty of good information on how to identify different species by their looks and behaviors, and where in the world they might be found. So even when the author tells you that he’s tired of drawing another darn hummingbird or woodpecker, the reader will have plenty of specific information from the illustrations and descriptions.
Of course, it’s also a very funny guide about birds and their moral failings. Because birds can be jerks! They don’t consider your feelings at all when they do their thing! It’s infuriating! What a bunch of weirdos. And they can be found pretty much anywhere, so it isn’t as if you can escape their rudeness by going somewhere safe.
It’s very over-the-top, very ridiculous, and very, very funny. If that sounds like your cup of tea, pick up this book, or one of Matt Kracht’s other bird books (though he also has one on bees, which he seems to like much better).
—
“We can all agree–birds are terrible. They’re stupid and won’t shut up.”
March 4, 2025
This is the first book in this series that I've read, and I have to say, it's convinced me to track the others down, because this was just pure, hilarious delight! An audiobook might not be the most practical way to use this book, if you're actually looking to use it for bird watching, but listening to it was a delightful experience - I found myself perpetually smiling and even laughed out loud more than a few times.
I imagine this as a cantankerous curmudgeon-type's way to trick you into becoming an enthusiastic bird watcher. Hate is not the opposite of love, after all...something the two have in common, in fact, is obsession, as this book clearly demonstrates.
I think this volume is also a good test on another universal cliche here: is all press good press? In this case, I would argue that yes, this silly yet informative book about some of the most annoying and ridiculous birds of the world will make you more aware of the sounds drifting through your window. It may even pique your interest enough to peek out at the source of the cacophony.
Note:: I received an early copy of this book from the publisher through netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
For more book reviews, visit my blog thelitertarian.com.
I imagine this as a cantankerous curmudgeon-type's way to trick you into becoming an enthusiastic bird watcher. Hate is not the opposite of love, after all...something the two have in common, in fact, is obsession, as this book clearly demonstrates.
I think this volume is also a good test on another universal cliche here: is all press good press? In this case, I would argue that yes, this silly yet informative book about some of the most annoying and ridiculous birds of the world will make you more aware of the sounds drifting through your window. It may even pique your interest enough to peek out at the source of the cacophony.
Note:: I received an early copy of this book from the publisher through netgalley in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
For more book reviews, visit my blog thelitertarian.com.
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