Mothering From Scratch: Finding The Best Parenting Style For You And Your Family

by Melinda Means, Kathleen Helgemo

Find Your Own Mothering Style
Trying to follow someone else's rules for mothering can take the joy out of being a parent. But "Mothering From Scratch" shows you how to develop your own style that helps you be the best mom for "your" kids.
Find Your Own Mothering Style
Trying to follow someone else's rules for mothering can take the joy out of being a parent. But "Mothering From Scratch" shows you how to develop your own style that helps you be the best mom for "your" kids.
Full of solid biblical truth, this book will help you
- explore your personality and examine your strengths and weaknesses in order to find what works for you
- tap into the resources surrounding you and get mentoring and support from other moms
- push past the fear of change or doing it wrong and allow room for grace in your mothering
Melinda Means and Kathy Helgemo provide a flexible, customizable approach to help you discover your optimal parenting style.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian

208 pages, Paperback

First published January 13, 2015

Reviews

[Brianna Knutson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not very interesting. Mostly fluff or common-sense advice.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

"We’re not perfect mothers. We don’t have perfect children." Thus begins the book Mothering from Scratch by Melinda Means & Kathy Helgemo. Finally, a book to stop telling you what you are doing wrong as a mother and one to give you ideas of how to love where you are.

"I yell a lot."

"My house is not perfect and never will be."

Kathy and Melinda keep it real as they write about real mothering, real life, and real mistakes. This isn't a how-to guide on being the perfect mother. This is a how-to guide on how to change what we don't like and how to embrace what we do...because there are all types of mothers and all types of mothering that can be done. No one size fits all and no unrealistic expectations to put on ourselves. This is truly a feel good parenting book that inspires you instead of leaving you feeling worse about yourself.

Disclaimer: This book was given to me by Bethany House Publishers in exchange for my honest review. Can see review at http://www.trenchesofmommyhood.blogsp...

[Claudia {SparrowHawk} · Rating 3 out of 5]

SPARROW'S THOUGHTS:
Motherhood has always been a topic I seldom ever freely talk about with anyone other than my mom, and a few close friends for many personal reasons. I suppose one of the primary reasons I feel reluctant to touch on this subject in general, is on account for the stage it sets: an overwhelming stir of emotions centered on frustration, regret, loss, guilt, solitude, resentfulness, and to be frank, these are very sensitive issues to delve into with just anyone. Especially when your worldview and moral values are so far from what society deems noble and righteous. Added to that, a culture that is belligerent in defining to me, who I am to be as a mother; alas, I digress.


WHAT I LIKED:
{+} Mothering from Scratch was actually a wonderful and refreshing read, and I don’t tend to dole out this type of praise lightly, since I am not too keen with informational self-help books. I don’t know about you, but I often find self-help books to come across as too convenient, and most of the advice that is offered, to me, is just simply unattainable

In Mothering from Scratch however, Means & Helgemo are genuine and extremely friendly in their approach towards the reader. They are not trying to sell you a formula, or attempting to diagnose your “failures.” Instead, they open up their book by placing their hearts and “junk” on the table. It’s a book that centers on this one focal point:

We’re not perfect mothers. We don’t have perfect children. Who are we to claim we know anything about this mothering business?

These words alone, were enough to pique my interest and keep me reading!

{+} Mothering from Scratch also offers encouraging opportunities to ponder and reflect on the gentle advice that is offered at the end of each section of the chapters; while at the same time, persuading you to actually carry out their suggestions in the mundane routine of daily household chores, parenting and routine tasks

{+} The personal conversational tone of the book will immediately draw you in. Means & Helgemo truly know how to capture the emotional and mental mess mothers live in; they don’t just talk about how to connect with your children, but they also tap into pressing issues on how to evaluate your internal struggles, your failures and shortcomings, and how to gain understanding from them

{+} The best encouragement I was able to gain from this book is in the declaration that being a mom is the greatest accomplishment I will ever achieve. Teaching my children to respects others, to be considerate, to put others before themselves, to listen to other people’s views with an open mind, to enjoy learning, to embrace servitude, to respect their environment and community, to be sensitive to other people’s feelings, is strenuous and requires a great deal of fortitude! Means & Helgemo get this


WHAT I DIDN’T LIKED:
{-} I found a few of the authors sentiments to be a bit too allegorical for my taste. For this reason, I genuinely believe that this is the type of book that would be most effective in a small group setting, as it will offer a safe place for open discussions, re-mothering, and might possibly shift perspectives that will influence mothers to make different choices and potentially break some bad habits

{-} There were more than a few chapters that extended on a great deal of flashbacks and lament, thus the book tends to have a bit of a rambling feel to it, but it strings together nicely at the end of the chapters

{-} While the book is a Christian informational book, I did struggle to accept some of their biblical concepts. Take for example this passage:

We can’t control what happened in the past. Yet we try to console ourselves into thinking that “this” will make up for “that.” Doesn’t that ignore that He has cast our sins “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalms 103:12)?

I believe that God will cast our sins away as far as the east is from the west, but in the Age to Come; not now, because the plain truth is, I’m still a sinner. I live in a broken body that sadly loves to bask in personal selfish desires; like, these for example:

1. I sometimes don’t want to make fluffy pancakes for breakfast even though my kids beg me for them, because its time consuming and I want to read two chapters from my book instead

2. I often do not want to do 4 loads of laundry even though I know Ben needs uniforms for work, because I’d rather play Final Fantasy on my PC instead

3. I don’t want to wash dishes, because I loathe doing this chore; particularly pots, and I’d rather be blogging!

4. I especially do not delight in having to get on my knees in order to apologize to my children for shouting at them in anger (which by the way, according to Matthew 5:22 is a spirit of murder!) because it crushes my pride

I also believe that we reap what we sow, and that we can’t utterly subdue what we’ve done in the past, the scars and pain will always be there. However, I do believe that we can show penitence, and that we can choose to take up our cross unto martyrdom by choosing to deny ourselves the pleasure of basking in our personal selfish desires; for example:

1. Instead of giving my children a bowl of cold cereal, I will choose to deny myself the pleasure of reading a chapter or two from a good book and make those fluffy pancakes my children begged me for

2. I will not only do 4 loads of laundry, but I will choose to actually fold the clothes and put them away {yay!}

3. I will wash the dishes and those pesky pots and choose to tackle the counters too, and maybe even mop my floors because I am conditioning my heart unto martyrdom in doing so

3. While my children will behave erratically and even say things that will make me loose my patience, I will choose to be meek and will treat my children as I would expect them to treat others

So we can’t really just say that God removes our sins wholly, there is grace yes, and a sense of forgiveness if we put our faith on the day when He returns to permanently remove all the things that hinder love. But if I may be so bold, the truth of the matter is, we still struggle with the very same sins and weaknesses daily. That is why Matthew 5 is so prevalent to the Christian faith, and so very encouraging.

The rewards that we will ultimately gain with in the end, will be worth more than the temporary pleasures of this present age (I have to remind myself of this at least 20 times a day!), when we choose to live a selfless life.

This is not any easy lifestyle by any means, it’s suppose to hurt and inconvenience you, like death (hence, martyrdom). So, let’s embrace our perseverance and sufferings in the path unto obedience and not run away from them, or disregard them.

Overall, Mothering from Scratch is a heartwarming book for moms who are seeking solace and happiness in the mundane. It served as a gripping reminder that while motherhood tends to take on the a role of servanthood, it is a glorious one! More than anything though, this book will challenge you to love beyond your own limits.

I received a copy of this book from Bethany House Publishers for the purpose of this review, it was not required of me to give a positive review, but to solely express my honest thoughts and opinions of this book, which I have done.


Overall Rating:
Theme: Did the Book Deliver Its Intended Message? | 8/10
Tone & Style | 8/10
Insightful & Educational | 8/10
Overall | 7/10

Originally posted @ Sparrow's Reading Corner

[Laura (Book Scrounger) · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I was a new mother to my now-toddler, I was pretty insecure. I'm not sure how much of that came out to those around me (probably more than I realized), but one of the ways I tried to compensate for it was by finding some particular "cause" or belief to cling to. It's an easy thing to do, and it usually involves something that is external and rather unlikely to truly make a big difference in the long run, at least compared to more important decisions, or the degree to which it would actually affect the child's future character (for example: infant feeding choices).

I know I've learned and grown since then, but there is certainly more of that to do, and this book does a great job of hitting on the underlying threads of things that cause us to struggle as moms. It's not that learning about the "externals" is necessarily wrong, but if such a pursuit is not firmly grounded in the truth, it can easily take us over. For Christian moms, this is a great and encouraging resource that I would definitely recommend reading before (or alongside) any other parenting books or "philosophies" you may peruse.

Melinda and Kathy are conversational and open about their own struggles and growth, and share various specifics and generalities of their experiences as they relate to different topics.

Some of the topics that are covered include:

"Mommy guilt":
"Let's cut to the chase: Mommy guilt is a liar. It tells us that if only we had made all the right choices and done everything perfectly, we would've been able to produce all the right outcomes. It tells us that if we'll only try harder, the internal struggle will stop. Unfortunately, it's a false, misleading trap... Mommy guilt stems from an illusion that we're ultimately in control." (pg 36)

Perfectionism is definitely a struggle of mine, and so I related quite a bit to this section. The authors encourage us to take realistic appraisal of our past regrets and current weaknesses, and then move forward, breaking free from condemnation and the false assumption that we are "in control." This can be painful, because many of us use our desire for control as a crutch. But the authors continually point us to Jesus, and remind us of what we've been set free from.

We are encouraged to realize that none of us will ever be good at everything, and we don't have to be - we only make it worse by pretending that we are, or striving for an impossible goal. We need to be honest about our strengths and weaknesses, to maximize the things we are good at, and develop the humility to ask for help and encouragement in the things we aren't so good at.

Identity:
"How many times have we thought 'I feel like I've lost myself in being a mom'? Isn't it reassuring to know that's not possible? We can't lose our identity. It's eternally secure in the hands of the Savior who died to purchase it. Rest assured, we may lose our keys, our kids' soccer uniforms, and even our minds from time to time, but we can never lose who we are in Christ.
However, if we believe our identity is formed by us alone--our achievements, our circumstances, and our productivity and usefulness to others--we're bound to feel unstable... If we look for our sense of self by pursuing the goals our culture tells us are valuable, we'll never end our search. And we'll never measure up. They use a different yardstick--one that's always changing, by the way." (pg 70-71)

The authors encourage a long-term perspective on mothering. It is so easy to get caught up in the details, both important and ultimately unimportant, and while they certainly do not minimize the sometimes agonizing choices we must make or situations that arise, the authors remind us to look at the big picture. Our identities are not found in the externals, and if we live as if they are, we will never be satisfied or secure, no matter how well we follow our own (or someone else's) "rules."

Working at home vs. outside the home:
Thankfully, the authors do not "take a position" on which is objectively "better." Instead, they simply encourage mothers to maintain the home as their first priority, no matter what their employment status may be.

Connecting with other mothers:
Melinda and Kathy wisely caution mothers not to get too caught up in seeking the validation and encouragement we need primarily from the Internet. It can be tempting, and can offer what seems to be an unlimited forum for complaining, venting, and seeking validation for just about any choice we've made, but it is also incredibly fickle. They outline several qualities and character traits to look for in wise friends and fellow mothers.

Balancing self-care with our other responsibilities:
We are encouraged to take care of ourselves, and not to get so caught up in mothering that we neglect our own needs--especially spiritual ones. We are also encouraged to involve our children in the household duties, rather than enabling them by feeling that we must do everything ourselves--because in the long run, that's not good for us or them.

There are also a few practical tips on how to balance household duties--cleaning, instructing, cooking, etc. But the last chapter is another admonition to depend on God's power--and therefore to flee perfectionism and our desires to be "super moms":

"When we primarily look to our husbands, our children, or our role as a mom to fill us up, we ultimately come up starving and empty. There's a real danger of making false idols of our families. Our children's accomplishments and opinions of us can become the focus of our worthiness. We burden them with the job of being our measure of effectiveness in the world. Yet nothing else will fill the God-shaped void in our souls. Not even the ones we love so dearly." (pg 191)

I found this book encouraging, and it helped to really spell out and deconstruct some of the things I have struggled with. I appreciated the balanced advice and helpful tips, and the continual reminder of what's most important in life. It's so easy to get caught up in the details of life, and this book offered much-needed perspective.

Disclosure: I received this book free from Bethany House through the Baker Books Bloggers www.bakerbooks.com/bakerbooksbloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are my own, and I was not required to write a positive review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/wa....

[Elizabeth S]

I have read this through and reread sections at times. I always find it hard to start reading but helpful when I do.

[Emily Massey · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I begin writing this post, I have been a mom for approximately 143 days, 11 hours, and 1 minute. That being said, I don’t have a ton of advice for new moms, except don’t hesitate to ask for guidance from moms who have had more experience than 144 days…

…preferably moms who have had many, many YEARS of experience.

That’s why I’m so thankful for Melinda Means and Kathy Helgemo’s new book, Mothering from Scratch: Finding the Best Parenting Style for You and Your Family.

Here are two women with years of mothering adventures who couldn’t be more open and honest about their triumphs and trials in motherhood. They both take turns sharing their journeys as mothers, as well as encourage the readers, moms like me and moms with a little more under their belt, to enjoy discovering how God made you unique, especially in raising up children and caring for your home.

Through stories of proud mom moments and personal parenting flops, Melinda and Kathy helped me not feel alone in my “momma-hood” hesitancy and questions. I especially related to Melinda because she described her struggle with people-pleasing and a performance-driven mentality that caused her to seek approval and compare herself to other moms.

Being a recovering perfectionist myself, very quickly after my son was born, I realized that I couldn’t say “yes” to everything anymore. Trying to balance responsibilities the same way I did before my son was born left me exhausted, stressed out, and spiritually dry.

That’s why sections like “Sifting It All Out” and “Mothering With Wisdom and Grace” were tremendously beneficial to me in my new role as a mom. Melinda urges the reader to remember that the most important person we need to let into our mothering style is Jesus.

“[Jesus] is the Guest of Honor, the gold standard against which we measure all other counsel. Spending time in His Word and prayer is the best way to know His standard and ways intimately enough to use them as our measuring stick” (pg 113).

Over the last four months, I have been trying my best to find a good routine regarding my time in the Word and in prayer as a stay-at-home mom. It hasn’t come easy because of all of the responsibilities that come along with raising a child and caring for a home full-time, but I know that time spent with the Lord is worth fighting for.

In the chapter “Feeding Your Soul,” Melinda and Kathy urge the reader to not forget about “quiet time” with the Lord and give practical ways to keep time with God a part of our busy day. This chapter alone is worth purchasing the book, in my opinion. Also, after every chapter, there are questions perfect for your reflection time with the Lord.

Are you a new mom?

Are you a mom with teenagers getting ready to head off to college?

No matter your “momma-hood” experience, this book is for you!

[Tricia M.S. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here is a book that I wished I had had 20+ years ago. Maybe things would have been different with me and my 2 daughters. I also have to admit that I was a child trying to raise children at the young age of approximately age19 with the birth of my first daughter. Failure, frustrations,tears coupled with bad choices was my life back then.

This book could have helped me realize that there was no manuals handed to you at the hospital with each birth. That all the books should have been suggestions and was setting me up for the ultimate failure. This book had me in tears as I read on. The guidance of a higher Being was there. The way the book is set up has a chapter that starts a personal look from each of the authors with "Lovin' Spoonfuls" that offer up a little prayer or encouragement are peppered throughout the chapter and followed up with "Stirring Your Thoughts" and "Let's get Cookin'" at the end of each chapter also.

"Stirring Your Thoughts" are a series of thought provoking questions that make you stop, thinking and realize where your thoughts are really at. Give give you a moment of reflection & the chance to be REALLY truthfully to yourself. This would be a wonderful tool for those "Mommy & Baby" groups or State ordered parenting classes. But you could also use them as an one-on-one reference book and should be given out by ALL hospitals. Especially young mothers like me back in the day. "Let's Get Cookin" are lines of guidance or suggested plans of actions that help you along in your everyday life.

I found that the book had a calming effect. It didn't feel like it was being pounded into my head like a some overwhelming school course that force feeds you all the material that the "big Experts" believed to be the PROPER way a child should be raised. Just because they are the claimed "experts" they know what is best fr you & your child(ren).

I will recommend this book to those with children, thinking of having children or know someone who is having child(ren). It richly deserves to be a vital part of a parents book shelf. This deserves a 4.5 stars out 5. And I will passing this book onto my oldest daughter to guide her along the path of parenting.

This book comes to me through Net Gallery for the exchange of my honest opinion. The view above is that of my own and should be taken with a grain of salt. I hope that you will take the time to pick up a copy to read. Thank You for allowing me to share my thoughts on it with you.

[Tammy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I skimmed this book. I didn't read it word for word, though I did gain lots of encouragement from it. I just want to make sure I state that right up front.

First, I'll mention the format of this book. It wasn't my favorite. I'll be the first to admit that the older I get, the more picky I become concerning font size and formats. It's a reason I try to convince myself that e-books are my friend more that paper copies these days, but I so love the feel and the smell of "real" books(most of them, anyway). It's a hard lesson to fully accept for myself. This particular book has small print, and it's just a bit chaotic, in general. There seems to be so much information, that my eyes are darting back and forth to take it all in. Plus, with this being co-authored, there is more than one person talking, so it goes back and forth in that sense, too.

Other than that, I found this to be an encouraging read. I like being encouraged as a mother. With so many judgments being doled out, from the parenting "expert" that doesn't have children yet(I'll admit I was one, once upon a time!), to the mom who thinks her parenting method is THE best, to the mom that has forgot just how hard it was to parent back in the day, parenting is tough. There's not the help and encouragement that it seems there once was any more.

This book gives examples and encouragement to rely on God, and not compete or try to measure up to what other moms are doing or what they think is best. God has given us all a set of commands within the Bible, and no matter what anybody says God "told" them, He doesn't make exceptions. If a "rule" applies to one person, it applies to the next one just as much. That said, God has given us all different talents. He never said that every mother had to be crafty. He's blessed some moms with the desire to be crafty, but others, like me, not so much. That doesn't make me any less of a mother. There's a little story about the "craft-less guilt" in this book, and I enjoyed it. Really, there's lots of encouraging stories about the authors and the parenting lessons they've learned.

From the encouragement and lessons I gained from this book(even if skimmed), I feel confidant recommending it to you, too.

*I was provided a review copy, in exchange for my honest opinion.

[Christina Banks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being a mom is hard enough without trying to live up to everyone else's unspoken rules for parenting. When I got married, I wanted to be the ultimate homemaker but I soon discovered that I hate sewing and detest cooking. I had to find the style of homemaking that fit my strengths and my family. Almost seven years later, I'm still figuring out what that means. When I was first pregnant, I had images of how motherhood would work for me. I knew my strengths as a teacher and my love for toddler and older children. I was unprepared for the child God gave me. My son has the makings of a great leader. He is driven, stubborn, and almost too intelligent. He has stretched me in ways that I didn't know were possible. More often than not, I've wondered how I would ever survive this thing called motherhood without damaging the precious child I've been entrusted with.

Reading Mothering from Scratch gave me a glimpse into why I often feel over my head. When I try to run my home by following someone else's set of rules, I'm left completely defeated and all the joy gets sucked out of life. When I'm too busy, distracted, or overwhelemed to nourish my soul with the Word of God, I have nothing left to nourish the relationships my family. Mothering from Scratch isn't going to tell you how to raise your children or run your household, but it is going to show you how you can embrace your strengths and find the structure and "rules" that work for your family. Over and over I saw myself in the pages of this book. I've been through the struggles. I've felt the pressure to do more, preform better, and be what I perceive other mothers to be. The truth is, none of us are perfect. What we see on Facebook is often only the good times in other people's lives. Everyone struggles, but we don't have to be overcome with the struggles we are facing. There is hope that each one of us can be the best mom that we can be. But that will only happen when we stop trying to live our lives following another woman's blueprint. I'm learning to embrace my strengths and weaknesses. You can too.

I recommend this book to every Christian woman struggling silently with her role as a mother.

Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. Available at your favourite bookseller from Bethany House, a division of Baker Publishing Group.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mothering from Scratch, by Melinda Means and Kathy Helgemo is a book about putting away all the preconceived notions of mothering that you have heard all your life, and finding the best parenting style for you.

When I first received this book, I thought that it would be more about “from scratch living,” but it is not.

The authors take you on a journey through their many adventures as being mamas. They break down the mistakes that they made, and the different ideas that they had going into motherhood that were not working for them. Instead of feeling like failures, they vowed to change it.

Change. What an interesting idea! I think that often times we try to fit ourselves into a box of what we think is the “right” way to go about doing something, instead of realizing there are many “right” ways, but it depends on you as a person as to which one you should follow; Means and Helgemo go into great detail about this in the book.

They take us on not only their journey, but ours as well. Each chapter has little tidbits of information that you can change right now, and at the end of each chapter there are action steps and questions to really get you to understand what your mothering style should be.

I really like that it is unapologetic in the fact that we are all different, and will approach motherhood differently. What works for someone else may not work for me, and that is OK! They talk a lot about how your personality type is going to influence what you do as a mama. Some mamas love staying at home (that would be me!) while others need to constantly be on the go. Does that mean that I am doing it wrong? No, it means that I am doing what works best for me and my family.

I enjoyed this book immensely, and it seemed to come right at the perfect time, since I was already concentrating on my personality and getting to know “me” better. I definitely recommend it, even if you are comfortable in your mothering style, it gives some wonderful tips on self-care and finding mentors. It is all around wonderful book!

I received a complimentary copy of this book from Bethany House in return for my review. All opinions are my own. For more on this book visit http://www.townsend-house.com/2015/02...

[Beauty in the Binding · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably every mother has at times wished that her child came with an instruction manual. Wouldn't it be nice if there was an outline to follow, complete with a guarantee that the child would grow up to be perfect? There are no perfect children or perfect moms, but there are good moms. Despite what someone else may tell you, their way is not necessarily the best way for you and your child.

In Mothering From Scratch, Melinda Means and Kathy Helgemo show how to develop your own mothering style that will allow you to be the best mom for your kids. The book aims to help mothers examine their strengths and weaknesses in order to find what works best, find mentoring and support from other moms, and push past the fear of doing it wrong to allow grace for both mother and child.

For me, reading Mothering From Scratch was like receiving permission to breathe a little easier. I've had people in my life who tell me all about how they raised their children, with the unspoken (but sometimes spoken) message that their way is better than mine and I need to do it their way. I know I'm not alone in receiving this kind of “help.” So to hear that it's okay to be different is a wonderful reassurance. In a sense, I'd known this deep down and had continued to do what I believed was best for my child and I, but to be reaffirmed by someone further down the parenting road gives me more confidence. I especially liked the emphasis on playing to your strengths while working on your weaknesses.

Mothering From Scratch is a great tool for struggling moms and I recommend it to all moms. I fully expect to read it again in another year as I expect it's the kind of book that can speak differently to me at different points in the mothering journey.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

[Michele Morin · Rating 4 out of 5]

When my four boys were all very small, there were days when I could have argued that I was too strict, and then heaped guilt upon myself for being too lenient — all within one hour’s time. When my mind and heart were in the wrong place, mothering was a toxic cocktail of irrational guilt, odious comparisons, and self-condemnation.

Written by mothers for mothers, Mothering from Scratch offers an approach that breathes grace into a mother’s life. Instead of shoe-horning ourselves into someone else’s plan, why not try mothering out of the individual strengths and characteristics that God designed when He made you? The “perfect mother” lives next door to Big Foot and down the road from the Loch Ness Monster. By recognizing this and owning our inadequacies, mothers gain a “unique opportunity to make a gigantic leap in our moral development.”

Kathy and Melinda urge mums to find their comfort zone and then to work at broadening it so that mothers and children grow together. This is a graceful balance between sensible self-care and mature self-denial. Mothers need relationships with other adults and the opportunity to develop personal interests, but they also must set up boundaries to protect the fleeting years when their children need them most. Godly wisdom is necessary for setting these priorities, and every family will look a little different.

At the end of each chapter, thought-provoking questions and suggested action plans make this book a great choice for a mum’s group study. Rich in resources throughout and then finishing off with three pages of suggested books, blogs, and pod casts, Mothering from Scratch is also a practical reference. The authors’ personal anecdotes from their own families are like a warm hand on the reader’s shoulder saying, “We can do this.” Empowered by the Spirit, free of the cookie cutters, and sensitive to the uniqueness of our own family, “there is, therefore, now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.”

This book was provided by Bethany House Publishers in exchange for my unbiased review.

[Tegan Vandenbosch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Motherhood doesn't come with instructions. Some moms read all kinds of manuals and take classes, some have the benefit of being an older sister or an aunt and some moms just fly by the seat of their pants from the very beginning. To complicate things, there are several different stereotypes floating around in cyberspace, telling moms how to parent, or how not to parent. Which one is right? In Mothering From Scratch, by Melinda Means and Kathy Helgemo, the beauty and joy of motherhood are explored from a different angle - you. Emphasizing the strengths that you, as a mom, bring to the table, and showing how to take condemnation out of areas of weakness, Means and Helgemo walk through ways to embrace who you are - as a person and a mom.

I really enjoyed Mothering From Scratch. Means and Helgemo gently remove the pressure from today's mothering by exploring ways to highlight what I'm good at as a mom. The most encouraging chapter for me was the chapter about dreams not spoiling. Sometimes as moms we have to put our dreams on hold, and that's okay, they aren't going anywhere, and in the meantime, precious time, energy and resources are being invested in our offspring - who will grow up and go somewhere. Peppered with encouragement and wisdom, this book is definitely at the top of my list of recommended books for moms.

This book can also be used as a small group study. At the end of each chapter are questions for reflection and application. I would definitely recommend this book to be used for a group study. The questions could bring about some great discussion and personal growth as a mom and a woman in Christ.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the Bethany Publishing Company book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

[City Girl Moves to The Country · Rating 5 out of 5]

My Reflections:

Mothering from Scratch is an encouraging warm read, filled with insightful and authentic examples.

I quite enjoyed this unique twist on a traditional parenting book. Usually a parenting book will lay out what to do to make you a better parent. If you do A then B will change. What drew me to this title is what draws many parents to these types of books, a feeling that perhaps getting it right is a formula.

Having been a mom for only 14 years, I am getting it that we all fail from time to time in this journey of raising up our beloved children, but the joy is in the little moments and in the giving it up to the one who gave us our beautiful treasures.

That is what this book is all about in a nutshell finding our God blessed strengths and giving all the rest to God to help us become the mom he has designed us to be.

Written by mothers to mothers of all stages and ages this book is a loving spoonful of Grace based parenting ideas. Now don't get me wrong it is not as airy fairy as you may be thinking, it does touch on how we still need boundaries and rules to guide and nurture our children into adulthood. That is just a given.

Every family looks a little different and the gifts you have been given are not the same as your best friends. Finding the balance is only achieved by surrendering your "style" to God and asking him to guide you. This along with a good support network are key in my estimation!

So if you are looking for something a little different, check out this book. I found it to be a refreshing change.

I was given this book free of charge in return for my honest review from Graf-Martin Communications.
Thank you Graf-Martin! - See more at: http://citygirlmovestothecountry-tany...

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mothering from Scratch: Finding the Best Parenting Style for You and Your Family by Melinda Means and Kathy Helgemo was a genuine pleasure to read. I was touched by the openness of the authors as they shared their stories and struggles of motherhood.

Melinda and Kathy introduce themselves with this disclaimer: “We’re not perfect mothers. We don’t have perfect children. . . . We are passionate about sharing with other mothers the lessons we’ve learned and the grace God has shown us.” That introduction sums up nicely the focus and intent of Mothering from Scratch.

I like the helpful, concise organization of Mothering from Scratch. Melinda and Kathy shared so much helpful advice and suggestions but it was couched in their personal experiences and what they learned from those experiences. That approach gives Mothering from Scratch an encouraging and non-threatening tone of mothers learning together and from each other, rather than expert mothers lecturing about what works for them.

A main focus in Mothering from Scratch is helping mothers understand how much God depends upon them and how much God is willing to bless them with His grace as they care for their unique families. Melinda and Kathy encourage mothers to turn to God to better understand their divine potential and to figure out how best to care for their families.

Overall Mothering from Scratch is filled with genuine anecdotes, delightful humor, and touching examples how much God really does care about mothers and vital role they have in their families and communities. Motherhood matters and Melinda and Kathy do a delightful job showing us why motherhood matters and how we can become more confident mothers as we learn from each other and seek God’s help. Bethany House gave me a complimentary copy of Mothering from Scratch by Melinda Means and Kathy Helgemo for my candid review.

[Cassandra · Rating 2 out of 5]

In preparation for adoption, I keep reading parenting books. Some are about child development, some are about discipline, and some are general motivation with a lot of rah rah. Some of the books are fairly general parenting books and others deal with a specific issue or topic. Based on the book's subtitle (Finding the Best Parenting Style for You and Your Family), I expected Mothering From Scratch to be one of the books that digs into specific parenting philosophies. While there were a few nuggets of wisdom, overall I felt like I was promised something that was never delivered.

First of all, I felt like the authors assumed that my reading material primarily consists of magazine articles or blog posts. Each chapter contains a "Lovin' Spoonful" which is a small sidebar of information. There were also numerous small quotes along the margins scattered throughout the book. The co-authors alternated who shared personal stories, which felt disjointed and kept me from really getting to know which kids belonged to which mother.

Second, the book wasn't really about finding the best parenting style for your family. I was hoping that the authors would present various parenting styles and discuss which styles are best for different personalities and temperaments and life experiences. Instead, the basic message of the book is that you should just do whatever you feel is best for your family. I agree with that but it's such a basic idea that I felt I wasted my time reading an entire book about it.

Scrolling through the Amazon and Goodreads reviews, it seemed most readers really enjoyed the book. It just wasn't a good fit for me. Thank you Bethany House for the free copy in exchange for my honest opinion. All thoughts are my own.

[Mariejkt · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Mothering From Scratch" by Melinda Means & Kathy Helgemo is showing us mom's that there is no one right way to be a mom. Also it dwells on how we need to focus on our relationship with Christ and husbands. This is not just a book for new moms, young moms, or older moms its for any stage of mom even grown children moms as it is a great book to use with the Bible to help mentor moms. I really liked how the author's pointed out that what works for one family may not work for another as God has made us each different. I really appreciated this as I see so much of the if you don't dress similar, act similar, or do all the little crafty pinterest things for your family then maybe you are not doing the whole mom thing wrong. I also loved to seeing how they wrote about treating each of your children as individuals with their own path in life. They brought up something that was interesting from both of their own childhoods which is how they where mothered affecting how they mother now whether its good or bad. We sometimes forget that as Christian mom or any mom that every family is different and we should parent our children they way God wants us to for our family not others. There is just so much good points in this book that I just can't say them all without just copying the book for you. I really enjoyed this book it helped me in ways I really needed encouragement in. I highly recommend this book even for Mother In Laws or moms to adult children as a way to encourage the moms they know around them.

I was given this book by Bethany House Publishers and was not required to give a positive review.

[Niveditha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mothering from Scratch is truly a unique book in many stances.
Why I love this book?
It has made me introspect my mothering in many levels.

Being a task oriented person,for me to redefine productive was one of my biggest challenge as a mom.
I loved the encouragement encouragement and hope this book provided for a young mom like me.
And the practical application on how to achieve your goals was one of my favorite sections in this book.

Relate able - As a mom I could relate to the authors thoughts and feelings.Young moms or moms of older children, alike,
would be able to relate with this book.

In my opinion,this is a go to mothering book.If you are looking for a book that will make you introspect your mothering style
and give you handy tips then this is your go to book.

Some Quotes from the Book that I loved:
"You are courageous,loving mom when you place your confidence and your child into God's Care"
"Our Identity is rooted in Christ,rather than the world.Nothing can change it,not even something as monumental as motherhood"

To read an in depth review of the book go to www.godlyindianmom.com

*I received a copy for free for review, but all opinions are my own.

[Tima · Rating 2 out of 5]

Every single mother is different. Each family is different. Yet so often, as mothers, we find ourselves looking at other moms and judging ourselves. The authors have written a book that helps each mother pinpoint her mothering strengths and use them to create a parenting style that works for her.
Using scripture and personal experiences, each author brings her own style and thoughts to give a well rounded look at mothering.

Pros:
I enjoyed all of the different topics and thoughts that were brought out. The personal stories and experiences were amusing and helped me not feel so alone in some of my mothering snafus. The book covered quite a few different topics and talked about making things work for each mother to fit her style.

Cons:
The writing was at times heavy and detailed. I almost got lost in the tiny print and multiple details of each chapter. Based on the description, I expected the book to bring out different parenting styles and guide me through picking out what worked for me. Instead it was a vague feeling of the concept of choosing what works for each individual. It just didn't resonate with me enough to want more or to recommend it to my mom friends.

I received this book free of charge from Bethany House in exchange for my honest review.

[Katrina Roets · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I was a much younger mom with much younger children, I was insecure in my parenting, like most new moms are. You worry that you're not doing something a certain way and that it will negatively affect your children. Luckily for me, I was thrown into the deep end and it was sink or swim time and I'm happy to report that my children are none the worse for it. However, back then, I would have welcomed a book such as this one. Filled with a transparency that made me smile, these two ladies don't claim to know it all or to be perfect parents. They share their practical insights and encourage all of us to be the best moms that we can be. I will mention that this is a Christian book and has quite a few religious insights, so if that's not your thing, you're going to want to give this one a pass. If it is your thing or you know a new mom that might enjoy this, add it to your wish list.

[Kristin · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Mothering From Scratch” is the kind of book I wish I had in my hands when I quit my job to stay home with my 4-month-old daughter. Even so, reading it now, as a mom to a 7-year-old girl and 5-year-old, was certainly still helpful. The authors share real-life stories from their own lives. I was encouraged in being the mom God created me to be – which is different probably looks different than the mom he created you to be. I was spurred on to continue seeking God – on the days I have it figured out and certainly on the days I have no idea what I’m doing. I was reminded that just as every child is different, so is every mom, but together we can build communities that foster what is the gospel is all about.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

When I was a new mom far from family and in a new town with no friends or contacts whatsoever, I remember being desperate for a friend, a book, someone to give me some guidance. I would have read and devoured any parenting/mothering book I could, and I did. I needed help. This book has lots of good advice from two mothers who are not perfect, but who are doing their best to raise their children. They encourage moms to use their own skills to raise their own children and give helpful advice along the way.

Sadly, this book also has mystical content. Because of that, I caution readers to consider their theology before reading this book.

Bethany Publishing House gave me a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Lindsey Bell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mothering from Scratch by Melinda Means and Kathy Helgemo is a must-read parenting book for 2015. My favorite thing about the book is that it's amazingly honest. Kathy and Melinda don't approach the parenting topic as those who know all the answers. Instead, they approach it as those who long to love their children and help other parents do the same. Another thing I love about the book is that it encourages moms to use the giftedness God gave them instead of trying to be just like another mom (who might be totally different than she). If you're looking for some encouragement in your parenting this year, Mothering from Scratch is a great book to pick up.

*I received a copy for free for review, but all opinions are my own.

[Kela · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Perhaps we have the knowledge and skills but are overwhelmed by the magnitude of mothering." -pg. 28.
I love the "being in the kitchen" setting of this book. We like the homemade meals. Sometimes there are a few ingredients, and other times its many. Mothering has LOTS of ingredients.
Melinda and Kathy takes all the overwhelm and helped me, as a mom, see each ingredient for what it is.
They encourage us to parent from our strengths and hand the rough areas over to God.
With the "Lovin' Spoonful" sections throughout the chapters, they speak directly to mom. It's as if they're sitting right across the counter, face to face asking you the hard questions and praying with you.
I recommend Mothering From Scratch to new and seasoned moms. We all need more grace, insight and refreshment.

[Bethanie Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not a parenting manual.

If you're looking for a how-to manual on raising kids, you're in the wrong place. If you're looking for support and general guidelines based on Biblical principals, come on in!

I read this book in a few hours. It reads like the authors are a couple of friends visiting you in your kitchen. It is meant to take longer with reflective questions and prayers. I intend to read it again as it is meant to be read, one chapter at a time in a group of Christian mothers.

I recommend this book especially for first-time mothers living in isolated situations, like me, as it is an eye opening experience that you are not alone.

I received a copy of this book from the authors in exchange for an honest review.

[Carey Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I purposefully seek out books where the author is honest about their struggles and challenges. It makes me feel like I'm not alone in my imperfections as a mom, which is very refreshing. It also affirms that my way of parenting is unique and special to me, and debunks the idea that we all have to mother that one perfect way. What a breath of fresh air. Means and Helgemo are honest from the get-go, and offer hard-earned advice from moms who have been in the trenches. Thank you for writing a book that reminds me I really am good enough, yet encourages me to be the best mom I can be.

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mothering from Scratch by Melinda Means and Kathy Helgemo is a such an encouraging and, more importantly, a REAL (or maybe the word would be "RELATABLE"?) parenting book! The momma authors, Kathy and Melinda, don't pretend that they have found all the answers, but rather they allow the readers to see them for who they really are - mothers that really want to love their children well. Isn't that what we really want? Filled with practical insight and encouragement, I would highly recommend Mothering From Scratch to my mom friends for sure.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one book out there that every mother should read. It reminds us to parent to our own personalities and not just someone else's and such. Reminding us that children do not come with manuals, and they need to be raised in a way that honors God. Mothering is such a gift for the mommy. Reminders to have a quiet time with God. Helping your children develope a Sunday routine. A Time to be alone, and rest. A time together with your spouse. It is such a good book, that it reminds each one of us that we need to know that He is with us while we parent.

[Joanne Viola · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book on parenting offering both practical & spiritual help to any mom in every stage of motherhood. Both authors did not write the book from an attitude of knowing it all but rather shared with transparency & authenticity. This is sure to make every mom feel encouraged that they too can parent well.

[Lynsie]

When I started this book I had no idea it was written from a Christian perspective. So, as a non-Christian, it was not my cup of tea. I would recommend it for Christian mothers only.