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Everyday Grace: Infusing All Your Relationships With the Love of Jesus
A Grace-Filled Guide to Navigating Relationships
The problem with relationships is they always seem to involve sinners--including ourselves. So how can we build and heal relationships with people who, like us, are bound to mess up?
A sought-after speaker at counseling conferences, Thompson teaches that it's not our job to "fix" the people we're in relationship with, but instead to reveal and receive the grace of Jesus in everything from our interactions with spouses to lunch conversations at work. You're not doomed to live with tension and frustration. True biblical love is rooted in humility and grace, and through the power of Christ's love, you can experience the relationships you've always hoped for.
The problem with relationships is they always seem to involve sinners--including ourselves. So how can we build and heal relationships with people who, like us, are bound to mess up?
A sought-after speaker at counseling conferences, Thompson teaches that it's not our job to "fix" the people we're in relationship with, but instead to reveal and receive the grace of Jesus in everything from our interactions with spouses to lunch conversations at work. You're not doomed to live with tension and frustration. True biblical love is rooted in humility and grace, and through the power of Christ's love, you can experience the relationships you've always hoped for.
206 pages, Paperback
First published April 21, 2015
About the author
Jessica Thompson
14 books57 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.
Jessica Thompson grew up in Southern California, the second child of Phil and Elyse Fitzpatrick.
When not homeschooling, Jessica helps her mother with correspondence and scheduling conferences and speaks at women’s conferences. In 2010, along with her mom, she collaborated on the book, “Give them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus”, to be released by Crossway in Spring of 2011. A confirmed SoCal girl, Jessica loves the beach, daily walks and most of all her beloved San Diego Padres.
Jessica Thompson grew up in Southern California, the second child of Phil and Elyse Fitzpatrick.
When not homeschooling, Jessica helps her mother with correspondence and scheduling conferences and speaks at women’s conferences. In 2010, along with her mom, she collaborated on the book, “Give them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus”, to be released by Crossway in Spring of 2011. A confirmed SoCal girl, Jessica loves the beach, daily walks and most of all her beloved San Diego Padres.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
April 25, 2015
Everyday Grace: Infusing All Your Relationships With the Love of Jesus is different than most self help relationship books. Instead of offering advice and step by step solutions it helps you look at the heart and find where the problem lies within yourself.
We all face challenges in life. Sometimes it is hard to let things go. We can say we forgive, but we hold on to things. We remember the wrongs that have been done to us. No matter how we tip-toe through life it is inevitable that we will get hurt and we will hurt others.
The question is...how do we extend grace? How do we offer the same love that Christ has extended to us? As Christians we should be striving daily to be more like Jesus. As the author points out we are a people that what we give depends on what we are given. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. There is so much wrong with this way of thinking and we need to reprogram ourselves to a better way. I did not deserve the Grace that God extended to me, but He gave it abundantly to me. Your co-worker or family member may not treat you right, but you need to offer them the same grace that was offered you through your loving Savior.
Through stories and biblical insights Everyday Grace is an encouraging read that helps us to quite trying to "fix" people and just extend love and grace. You will feel refreshed and uplifted after reading this great book!
***This book was provided to me by Bethany House Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
We all face challenges in life. Sometimes it is hard to let things go. We can say we forgive, but we hold on to things. We remember the wrongs that have been done to us. No matter how we tip-toe through life it is inevitable that we will get hurt and we will hurt others.
The question is...how do we extend grace? How do we offer the same love that Christ has extended to us? As Christians we should be striving daily to be more like Jesus. As the author points out we are a people that what we give depends on what we are given. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. There is so much wrong with this way of thinking and we need to reprogram ourselves to a better way. I did not deserve the Grace that God extended to me, but He gave it abundantly to me. Your co-worker or family member may not treat you right, but you need to offer them the same grace that was offered you through your loving Savior.
Through stories and biblical insights Everyday Grace is an encouraging read that helps us to quite trying to "fix" people and just extend love and grace. You will feel refreshed and uplifted after reading this great book!
***This book was provided to me by Bethany House Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
May 18, 2017
Loved the gospel motivation, application and conviction of that came through this book. She constantly pointed to the grace that has been lavished on us so that we can lavish grace on every one in our lives.
p. 23: “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:6-8) How radically life-changing would it be too live in the truth of this freedom every day? How life-changing would it be for your relationships if you didn’t live with crushing expectations hanging over your loved ones’ heads?
p. 24+: “Beloved, there is no hope in finding the love you desire by looking to each other. You are truly loved unceasingly, unquenchably, and irrevocably now. Let God’s love fuel your love for others. ….My hope is that while we journey together through this book, you will find that our Savior’s love is the only thing that can change the way you relate to others. As you see that Christ calls you his friend (John 15:15), you will be able to love your friends without expectation of finding a perfect friendship because that perfect friend is already yours. You will be able to love those who are outside of your little circle of friends because Jesus loved you even though you were outside of his circle. As a matter of fact, you were his enemy. You will be able to be unselfish with your friends, because your identity doesn’t come from who is standing next to you, but rather who has laid down his very life for you. You won’t be continually worried about what your friends think of you, because you will have heard and believed his word of grace and acceptance towards you.
As you see that God calls you his bride (Ephesians 5:25-27), you won’t look to your earthly spouse to fulfill all your desires to be loved unconditionally, to be known perfectly, and to be dealt with patiently, because you already have all of those things in Christ. He calls you his bride. He loves you as you long to be loved. He knows every intimate detail about you. He prays for you continually. The more your heart steeps in this truth, the freer you will be to love your spouse even when he or she fails you. You won’t have to keep a record of their wrongs, because you will remember that Christ has irrevocably canceled your record of wrongs. You will be able to love them when they don’t love you back because Christ’s love for you never stops, never gives up.
p. 32: “When we really feel that we are the one trying in the relationship…we will be judgmental and angry toward the other person in the relationship because they aren’t even trying. When we feel like a failure because we know we can’t even begin to love the way we should, we will hide and avoid being in relationship for fear of failure. Either way, when we are doing well or doing badly, we are focused on ourselves. This inward focus will be the very thing that keeps us from the end goal of having a healthy, thriving, God-glorifying relationship.
We must be enraptured with Jesus. Who he is and how has loved us must fill our gaze. Once we do this, we will find that we are able to love the way we have been loved. We will be able to exhibit the kindness, patience, and forgiveness that has been shown to us. We will be free to be vulnerable and able to love without using others. We won’t need anything from those we are in relationship with because every longing to be loved and accepted has been completely fulfilled in Christ. When our hearts are at rest in God’s sustaining communion with us, we can be free to serve and be in true communion with others.
When confronted with their sin, Adam and Eve did exactly what you and I do today. They looked for an excuse, a reason to claim that their sin wasn’t their fault. This destroys relationship, as inevitably we end up blaming each other for the way we act. The freedom of the gospel says we don’t have to blame anybody else; we can take full responsibility for our own sin because we have been completely forgiven. Can you imagine a relationship where you own your sin without blames-shifting or excuse-making? Owning our own mess will make us gracious toward everybody else who is a mess also. We won’t place crazy expectations on others, because we will know that we can’t even fulfill those expectations ourselves. We won’t withhold forgiveness, because we will see how much we have been forgiven.
p. 39: May we never get to the place where we feel like we know how to do relationships perfectly, because once we get there we will no longer feel our need for the Holy Spirit.
p. 65: When we see how little we deserve to be called ‘children of God’ and how extravagant his grace is in calling us his beloved sons and daughters, we can extend that same grace to our children. They will sin against us, but the deeper we press into his love, the more their sin will be grievous because it is against him and the less it will be about how they disrespected us.
p. 68: When your child lies because he doesn’t want to get into trouble, you can tell him that his life is hidden in Christ and the very sin he is trying to cover up has already been paid for (Colossians 3:3).
When your child steals, you can tell her that God promises to take care of his kids and give them everything they need (Matthew 6:25-33).
When your child feels alone, you can give the comforting words of Christ, ‘I am with you always, to the end of the age’ (Matthew 28:20).
When your child is troubled by his sin, you can tell him, ‘As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us’ (Psalm 103:12).
When your child feels friendless, you can tell her that Jesus calls us his friends (John 15:15).
When your child feels like no one understands, share that Jesus sympathizes with him in his weakness, and Jesus prays for him with understanding of what he’s going through (Hebrews 4:15).
p. 74+: [God] doesn’t feel obligated to be our friend; it is his joy to be in relationship with us. I know I need the Holy Spirit to convince me of this truth. In my life, if someone wants to be my friend, they have to do a lot more than believe I want to be theirs. I make others live under my covenant of works. If you continue to be the friend I desire, then I will be your friend. The demands that I have placed on friends are ridiculous and unattainable. I have asked them to always be there for me. I have asked them to cheer me up when I am down. I have asked them to think of me continually. Now I have never actually said those things to them, but I have certainly been disappointed when they have not done those things for me. And yet the very thing I am looking for them to do has already been done by Jesus Christ. He cares for me, prays for me, and loves me at every moment of every day.
p. 78: What we deserve, at the very best, is to be called a servant. This was what the prodigal son asked for. He wanted to prove himself, to work for a relationship. Our God, like the father of the prodigal, will have nothing to do with that. When we come face-to-face with what we are, it feels like too much to even ask God—our heavenly Father—if we can be a servant! The heart of the Father is to offer us something much better: ‘I don’t want you as servants. I call you friends.’
p. 81+: My Savior has proved his love and friendship by laying down his life for me. This opens up my heart and allows me to lay down my life for others. He has loved me when I don’t deserve it, even when I forget him. This changes my friendships; I can love even when I don’t feel like I am being treated the way I deserve. …We often expect our friends to be Jesus. We want them to understand us completely. We want them to always be available. We want them to hear us perfectly. We want them to love us unconditionally. All of these things are roles reserved exclusively for our Savior.
There are also times when we want to be Jesus for our friends. We want them to view us as never making a mistake or hurting them. And when they accuse us of hurting them, we look for all sorts of reasons to insist it wasn’t our fault. We want to be the only one they turn to for help. When they look to others, we feel like they are being unfaithful to us. We want them to be fully aware of what an incredible friend we are, and when they don’t seem to graph the magnitude of our greatness, we are sullen and withhold affection. There is one Messiah, and you and I are not him, and we shouldn’t expect our friends to be our Messiah either.
p. 82+: When I make a certain friendship into an idol in my life, I am expecting that person to be my savior. When they don’t live up to my expectations (and they won’t because they can’t), I will end up hating them for not fulfilling my needs. Expectations are the very root of bitterness. We all have different expectations we place on friends—maybe it is to text us during the day, invite us to a meal, or remember our birthday. When our friend doesn’t meet those expectations, we become angry or sad, or feel unloved. That is fertile soil for bitterness. Essentially, we are saying ‘I know how to be a better friend than you do. Therefore, I am a better person than you are.’ Self-righteousness at its nasty height.
A close ally of expectation is judgment. When you don’t behave the way I deem appropriate, I will judge you. once I have sentenced you to the prison of ‘You don’t meet my expectations,’ the friendship will suffer. I often will take something a friend has done and ascribe motives to it. If a friend doesn’t come up and give me a hug at church, then suddenly, in my mind, they are angry with me and don’t care about me anymore. I will then act differently toward them because I feel as though things have changed. They in turn will feel my coldness and retreat….being self-occupied kills a friendship. If a friend doesn’t love you the way you feel you should be loved, your self-interest suffocates whatever love was there.
p. 103: Not only do you need to be interested in them, but you also must be willing to open up about yourself. Too often we like to portray ourselves as having it all together. …we aren’t the keepers of morality. … we remember that we were once in a jail cell just like them and our goodness didn’t free us—his goodness did. We need to be willing to open up about our own mess-ups, to talk about how we have failed, and then if possible talk about how the love of Jesus has helped us or is helping us.
…The only way you won’t exude judgment is to remember how you have been loved despite what you have deserved. We can take a fellow-prisoner approach versus a Christian-superstar approach. You are also going to have to be willing to hear their dirty laundry. This can be uncomfortable and at times disturbing. Entering into others’ hurts with them is never tidy or convenient. You are going to have to be comfortable not knowing exactly what to say to someone. You are going to have to rely on the Holy-Spirit to lead and guide.
p. 120+: We place so many expectations on each other! Unrealistic expectations kill grace. Here is what you can expect: You married a sinner, so he or she will sin against you. Your spouse will be selfish and unkind, just like you are. Your spouse will be uninterested in your day, and weary with the sorrows of their own day, just like you are. Your spouse will need more than you can give, and that’s okay. You can point them to Jesus instead of trying to justify yourself and act like you fulfill all their needs but they don’t appreciate all you do.
p. 121+: Quoting Tchvidjian’s One Way Love: A marriage founded on one-way love [grace] eschews scorekeeping at all costs. It is not a fifty-fifty proposition, where I scratch your back and then you scratch mine. A grace-centered marriage is one in which both partners give 100 percent of themselves. They give up their right to talk about rights. This means that a grace-centered marriage, in theory, is one where both parties are constantly apologizing to each other, asking for and granting forgiveness. No one is ever innocent in a grace-centered marriage. If original sin is as evenly distributed as the Bible claims it is, then even in the most extreme and wounding circumstances, both parties have some culpability.
p. 138: A lot of the everyday sin we commit against each other in our families is because we are expecting them to love us perfectly, and they can’t. I don’t want to diminish the real hurt that we undergo as we live with and around other sinners, but I do want to make sure we have realistic expectations. We expect our parents never to sin against us, our brothers and sisters never to compete with us, our grandparents to always cherish us—expectations that are impossible for anybody to meet. If you want a realistic expectation, here it is: ‘All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God’ (Romans 3:23). Expect to be sinned against. Expect your parents to hurt you and not always be there for you. They are fallen humans…just like you are. Expect your siblings to fight with you and disagree with you. They are also fallen humans…just like you are. Expect your grandparents to make decisions that are unwise at best and unkind or even cruel at worst. They are fallen humans…just like you are.
p. 141: Jesus is your brother; he loved you when you didn’t deserve it. He cares when you forget about him. He lives every day to pray for you. He is always presenting you before God, reminding him that you are part of the family (Hebrews 7:25). You don’t have to look to your past; you don’t have to be defined by how you grew up. You can love the screwed-up family you were born into because Jesus brought you, a total screw-up, in to his family. God’s love for you isn’t based on your performance as a son or a daughter or a brother or a sister. His love is based on the performance of his Son.
p. 191: What if we took the time to really pray before we answered someone? What if we took the time to actually listen to everything they said without formulating some plan of attack to solve all of their problems? What if we actually trusted the Holy Spirit to speak through us. I understand this won’t always work out perfectly. There will be times when you pray and still don’t feel like you have anything constructive to say. How about in those times we just honestly admit that to our friends? In those times, don’t put on the charade of super counselor. Instead reveal that you are weak, but he is strong. In relying on our own wisdom it may be that God has determined that honesty and weakness is exactly what your friend needs to see.
Here is the really crazy good news—the Holy Spirit is strong enough to use all of your mess-ups, all of your failed attempts to help, all of your desire to take his place and be the Savior. He takes all of that and submits it to the will of the Father.
How can you love those who are unlovable? Pray for the help of the Holy Spirit. Pray that he will remind you of the truth and comfort you with the fact that you are loved beyond measure. Ask him to help you love in the face of opposition.
How can you love those who are in difficult circumstances? Pray for and seek after the help of the Holy Spirit. Pray he will remind you that it is not all up to you. Pray he will give you the right words to say or the ability to just be quiet. Pray he will teach you to depend more on his work.
Beloved, he is the Comforter, he is the Helper, he is the Counselor. May he use you and your brokenness to make this power appear as brilliant as it really is.
p. 23: “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:6-8) How radically life-changing would it be too live in the truth of this freedom every day? How life-changing would it be for your relationships if you didn’t live with crushing expectations hanging over your loved ones’ heads?
p. 24+: “Beloved, there is no hope in finding the love you desire by looking to each other. You are truly loved unceasingly, unquenchably, and irrevocably now. Let God’s love fuel your love for others. ….My hope is that while we journey together through this book, you will find that our Savior’s love is the only thing that can change the way you relate to others. As you see that Christ calls you his friend (John 15:15), you will be able to love your friends without expectation of finding a perfect friendship because that perfect friend is already yours. You will be able to love those who are outside of your little circle of friends because Jesus loved you even though you were outside of his circle. As a matter of fact, you were his enemy. You will be able to be unselfish with your friends, because your identity doesn’t come from who is standing next to you, but rather who has laid down his very life for you. You won’t be continually worried about what your friends think of you, because you will have heard and believed his word of grace and acceptance towards you.
As you see that God calls you his bride (Ephesians 5:25-27), you won’t look to your earthly spouse to fulfill all your desires to be loved unconditionally, to be known perfectly, and to be dealt with patiently, because you already have all of those things in Christ. He calls you his bride. He loves you as you long to be loved. He knows every intimate detail about you. He prays for you continually. The more your heart steeps in this truth, the freer you will be to love your spouse even when he or she fails you. You won’t have to keep a record of their wrongs, because you will remember that Christ has irrevocably canceled your record of wrongs. You will be able to love them when they don’t love you back because Christ’s love for you never stops, never gives up.
p. 32: “When we really feel that we are the one trying in the relationship…we will be judgmental and angry toward the other person in the relationship because they aren’t even trying. When we feel like a failure because we know we can’t even begin to love the way we should, we will hide and avoid being in relationship for fear of failure. Either way, when we are doing well or doing badly, we are focused on ourselves. This inward focus will be the very thing that keeps us from the end goal of having a healthy, thriving, God-glorifying relationship.
We must be enraptured with Jesus. Who he is and how has loved us must fill our gaze. Once we do this, we will find that we are able to love the way we have been loved. We will be able to exhibit the kindness, patience, and forgiveness that has been shown to us. We will be free to be vulnerable and able to love without using others. We won’t need anything from those we are in relationship with because every longing to be loved and accepted has been completely fulfilled in Christ. When our hearts are at rest in God’s sustaining communion with us, we can be free to serve and be in true communion with others.
When confronted with their sin, Adam and Eve did exactly what you and I do today. They looked for an excuse, a reason to claim that their sin wasn’t their fault. This destroys relationship, as inevitably we end up blaming each other for the way we act. The freedom of the gospel says we don’t have to blame anybody else; we can take full responsibility for our own sin because we have been completely forgiven. Can you imagine a relationship where you own your sin without blames-shifting or excuse-making? Owning our own mess will make us gracious toward everybody else who is a mess also. We won’t place crazy expectations on others, because we will know that we can’t even fulfill those expectations ourselves. We won’t withhold forgiveness, because we will see how much we have been forgiven.
p. 39: May we never get to the place where we feel like we know how to do relationships perfectly, because once we get there we will no longer feel our need for the Holy Spirit.
p. 65: When we see how little we deserve to be called ‘children of God’ and how extravagant his grace is in calling us his beloved sons and daughters, we can extend that same grace to our children. They will sin against us, but the deeper we press into his love, the more their sin will be grievous because it is against him and the less it will be about how they disrespected us.
p. 68: When your child lies because he doesn’t want to get into trouble, you can tell him that his life is hidden in Christ and the very sin he is trying to cover up has already been paid for (Colossians 3:3).
When your child steals, you can tell her that God promises to take care of his kids and give them everything they need (Matthew 6:25-33).
When your child feels alone, you can give the comforting words of Christ, ‘I am with you always, to the end of the age’ (Matthew 28:20).
When your child is troubled by his sin, you can tell him, ‘As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us’ (Psalm 103:12).
When your child feels friendless, you can tell her that Jesus calls us his friends (John 15:15).
When your child feels like no one understands, share that Jesus sympathizes with him in his weakness, and Jesus prays for him with understanding of what he’s going through (Hebrews 4:15).
p. 74+: [God] doesn’t feel obligated to be our friend; it is his joy to be in relationship with us. I know I need the Holy Spirit to convince me of this truth. In my life, if someone wants to be my friend, they have to do a lot more than believe I want to be theirs. I make others live under my covenant of works. If you continue to be the friend I desire, then I will be your friend. The demands that I have placed on friends are ridiculous and unattainable. I have asked them to always be there for me. I have asked them to cheer me up when I am down. I have asked them to think of me continually. Now I have never actually said those things to them, but I have certainly been disappointed when they have not done those things for me. And yet the very thing I am looking for them to do has already been done by Jesus Christ. He cares for me, prays for me, and loves me at every moment of every day.
p. 78: What we deserve, at the very best, is to be called a servant. This was what the prodigal son asked for. He wanted to prove himself, to work for a relationship. Our God, like the father of the prodigal, will have nothing to do with that. When we come face-to-face with what we are, it feels like too much to even ask God—our heavenly Father—if we can be a servant! The heart of the Father is to offer us something much better: ‘I don’t want you as servants. I call you friends.’
p. 81+: My Savior has proved his love and friendship by laying down his life for me. This opens up my heart and allows me to lay down my life for others. He has loved me when I don’t deserve it, even when I forget him. This changes my friendships; I can love even when I don’t feel like I am being treated the way I deserve. …We often expect our friends to be Jesus. We want them to understand us completely. We want them to always be available. We want them to hear us perfectly. We want them to love us unconditionally. All of these things are roles reserved exclusively for our Savior.
There are also times when we want to be Jesus for our friends. We want them to view us as never making a mistake or hurting them. And when they accuse us of hurting them, we look for all sorts of reasons to insist it wasn’t our fault. We want to be the only one they turn to for help. When they look to others, we feel like they are being unfaithful to us. We want them to be fully aware of what an incredible friend we are, and when they don’t seem to graph the magnitude of our greatness, we are sullen and withhold affection. There is one Messiah, and you and I are not him, and we shouldn’t expect our friends to be our Messiah either.
p. 82+: When I make a certain friendship into an idol in my life, I am expecting that person to be my savior. When they don’t live up to my expectations (and they won’t because they can’t), I will end up hating them for not fulfilling my needs. Expectations are the very root of bitterness. We all have different expectations we place on friends—maybe it is to text us during the day, invite us to a meal, or remember our birthday. When our friend doesn’t meet those expectations, we become angry or sad, or feel unloved. That is fertile soil for bitterness. Essentially, we are saying ‘I know how to be a better friend than you do. Therefore, I am a better person than you are.’ Self-righteousness at its nasty height.
A close ally of expectation is judgment. When you don’t behave the way I deem appropriate, I will judge you. once I have sentenced you to the prison of ‘You don’t meet my expectations,’ the friendship will suffer. I often will take something a friend has done and ascribe motives to it. If a friend doesn’t come up and give me a hug at church, then suddenly, in my mind, they are angry with me and don’t care about me anymore. I will then act differently toward them because I feel as though things have changed. They in turn will feel my coldness and retreat….being self-occupied kills a friendship. If a friend doesn’t love you the way you feel you should be loved, your self-interest suffocates whatever love was there.
p. 103: Not only do you need to be interested in them, but you also must be willing to open up about yourself. Too often we like to portray ourselves as having it all together. …we aren’t the keepers of morality. … we remember that we were once in a jail cell just like them and our goodness didn’t free us—his goodness did. We need to be willing to open up about our own mess-ups, to talk about how we have failed, and then if possible talk about how the love of Jesus has helped us or is helping us.
…The only way you won’t exude judgment is to remember how you have been loved despite what you have deserved. We can take a fellow-prisoner approach versus a Christian-superstar approach. You are also going to have to be willing to hear their dirty laundry. This can be uncomfortable and at times disturbing. Entering into others’ hurts with them is never tidy or convenient. You are going to have to be comfortable not knowing exactly what to say to someone. You are going to have to rely on the Holy-Spirit to lead and guide.
p. 120+: We place so many expectations on each other! Unrealistic expectations kill grace. Here is what you can expect: You married a sinner, so he or she will sin against you. Your spouse will be selfish and unkind, just like you are. Your spouse will be uninterested in your day, and weary with the sorrows of their own day, just like you are. Your spouse will need more than you can give, and that’s okay. You can point them to Jesus instead of trying to justify yourself and act like you fulfill all their needs but they don’t appreciate all you do.
p. 121+: Quoting Tchvidjian’s One Way Love: A marriage founded on one-way love [grace] eschews scorekeeping at all costs. It is not a fifty-fifty proposition, where I scratch your back and then you scratch mine. A grace-centered marriage is one in which both partners give 100 percent of themselves. They give up their right to talk about rights. This means that a grace-centered marriage, in theory, is one where both parties are constantly apologizing to each other, asking for and granting forgiveness. No one is ever innocent in a grace-centered marriage. If original sin is as evenly distributed as the Bible claims it is, then even in the most extreme and wounding circumstances, both parties have some culpability.
p. 138: A lot of the everyday sin we commit against each other in our families is because we are expecting them to love us perfectly, and they can’t. I don’t want to diminish the real hurt that we undergo as we live with and around other sinners, but I do want to make sure we have realistic expectations. We expect our parents never to sin against us, our brothers and sisters never to compete with us, our grandparents to always cherish us—expectations that are impossible for anybody to meet. If you want a realistic expectation, here it is: ‘All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God’ (Romans 3:23). Expect to be sinned against. Expect your parents to hurt you and not always be there for you. They are fallen humans…just like you are. Expect your siblings to fight with you and disagree with you. They are also fallen humans…just like you are. Expect your grandparents to make decisions that are unwise at best and unkind or even cruel at worst. They are fallen humans…just like you are.
p. 141: Jesus is your brother; he loved you when you didn’t deserve it. He cares when you forget about him. He lives every day to pray for you. He is always presenting you before God, reminding him that you are part of the family (Hebrews 7:25). You don’t have to look to your past; you don’t have to be defined by how you grew up. You can love the screwed-up family you were born into because Jesus brought you, a total screw-up, in to his family. God’s love for you isn’t based on your performance as a son or a daughter or a brother or a sister. His love is based on the performance of his Son.
p. 191: What if we took the time to really pray before we answered someone? What if we took the time to actually listen to everything they said without formulating some plan of attack to solve all of their problems? What if we actually trusted the Holy Spirit to speak through us. I understand this won’t always work out perfectly. There will be times when you pray and still don’t feel like you have anything constructive to say. How about in those times we just honestly admit that to our friends? In those times, don’t put on the charade of super counselor. Instead reveal that you are weak, but he is strong. In relying on our own wisdom it may be that God has determined that honesty and weakness is exactly what your friend needs to see.
Here is the really crazy good news—the Holy Spirit is strong enough to use all of your mess-ups, all of your failed attempts to help, all of your desire to take his place and be the Savior. He takes all of that and submits it to the will of the Father.
How can you love those who are unlovable? Pray for the help of the Holy Spirit. Pray that he will remind you of the truth and comfort you with the fact that you are loved beyond measure. Ask him to help you love in the face of opposition.
How can you love those who are in difficult circumstances? Pray for and seek after the help of the Holy Spirit. Pray he will remind you that it is not all up to you. Pray he will give you the right words to say or the ability to just be quiet. Pray he will teach you to depend more on his work.
Beloved, he is the Comforter, he is the Helper, he is the Counselor. May he use you and your brokenness to make this power appear as brilliant as it really is.
April 30, 2015
Last week, I reviewed From Good to Grace by Christine Hoover. This week, it is Everyday Grace by Jessica Thompson. In a few weeks, I will do a review of Jen Hatmaker's new book about grace called For the Love. Do you notice a pattern? Even Amazon suggests purchasing Hoover's and Thompson's books together. Yet these two ladies take a different approach to God's grace. Whereas Hoover uncovers God's grace in the battle of our minds, Thompson uncovers how God's grace affects our relationships with other people.
Thompson admits at the beginning of her book that it is not intended to be a self-help book on relationships. Christian bookstore are loaded with tips and tricks on relationships, but not all relationships are the same. Our sins affect those around us, and Thompson takes this into consideration when discussing Christ's work in relationships. The book is not designed to be practical. She states, "If all we needed was a little relationship advice, then why would Jesus Christ have to come and die for our sins in order to bring us into relationship?" (26). Instead, Thompson explores how Christ is seen through different aspects of relationships.
Admittedly, this was slow reading at first. The groundwork is laid out by exploring our own sinful nature, and how God is holy compared to this nature. These explorations aren't anything new. However, Thompson offers wonderful insights into God's forgiveness and redemption through how we relate to other people. She delves into God's redeeming grace in our relationships with spouses, friends, family, co-workers, church and community.
One of my favorite parts of the book is her discussion of God and the family. As someone whose parents were divorced at a young age, it was refreshing to see someone recognize God's redemptive purposes in the family. A comfort that I found was in these words: "It is never about our family pedigree; it is always about his extravagant grace" (126). It is hard not to disassociate ourselves from our family pedigree. We might think we will inherit every negative trait from our parents, when in reality God's forgiveness covers us from family curses. The opposite is just as true as well; an excellent upbringing full of faith does not guarantee automatic entry into God's kingdom. It is only by the work of God that we enter into His presence.
The book can be summed up in four words: unrealistic expectations kills grace (117). We have unrealistic expectations towards our other people. When people do not meet those expectations, we feel the need to withhold favor and love from them. At the same time we also fail to meet other people's expectations as well. We will sin again each other and even be demanding of each other. We become resentful and bitter because someone did not do what they were supposed to do, or did something that they shouldn't have done. God enters in by providing forgiveness. He has forgiven us for our sins, and in return we forgive others.
Thompson embraces the Bible in its entirety as she delves into the many aspects of relationships. I come across too many books where verses were misconstrued or taken out of context, but that's not the case with this one. She does an excellent job explaining verses within the context of the passage, and doesn't stretch the meaning of the text to make it say what she wants it to say. It's refreshing to find women who write in this way.
Many readers would say that this book isn't practical enough. I believe that laying a firm biblical foundation will lead to practicality, and that was the motive behind Thompson's book. She addresses her audience beyond the scope of women, but shares her experience as a wife and mother. This book is recommended to anyone who wishes to see God's redeeming grace in their relationships.
Many thanks to Bethany House and NetGally for the copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Thompson admits at the beginning of her book that it is not intended to be a self-help book on relationships. Christian bookstore are loaded with tips and tricks on relationships, but not all relationships are the same. Our sins affect those around us, and Thompson takes this into consideration when discussing Christ's work in relationships. The book is not designed to be practical. She states, "If all we needed was a little relationship advice, then why would Jesus Christ have to come and die for our sins in order to bring us into relationship?" (26). Instead, Thompson explores how Christ is seen through different aspects of relationships.
Admittedly, this was slow reading at first. The groundwork is laid out by exploring our own sinful nature, and how God is holy compared to this nature. These explorations aren't anything new. However, Thompson offers wonderful insights into God's forgiveness and redemption through how we relate to other people. She delves into God's redeeming grace in our relationships with spouses, friends, family, co-workers, church and community.
One of my favorite parts of the book is her discussion of God and the family. As someone whose parents were divorced at a young age, it was refreshing to see someone recognize God's redemptive purposes in the family. A comfort that I found was in these words: "It is never about our family pedigree; it is always about his extravagant grace" (126). It is hard not to disassociate ourselves from our family pedigree. We might think we will inherit every negative trait from our parents, when in reality God's forgiveness covers us from family curses. The opposite is just as true as well; an excellent upbringing full of faith does not guarantee automatic entry into God's kingdom. It is only by the work of God that we enter into His presence.
The book can be summed up in four words: unrealistic expectations kills grace (117). We have unrealistic expectations towards our other people. When people do not meet those expectations, we feel the need to withhold favor and love from them. At the same time we also fail to meet other people's expectations as well. We will sin again each other and even be demanding of each other. We become resentful and bitter because someone did not do what they were supposed to do, or did something that they shouldn't have done. God enters in by providing forgiveness. He has forgiven us for our sins, and in return we forgive others.
Thompson embraces the Bible in its entirety as she delves into the many aspects of relationships. I come across too many books where verses were misconstrued or taken out of context, but that's not the case with this one. She does an excellent job explaining verses within the context of the passage, and doesn't stretch the meaning of the text to make it say what she wants it to say. It's refreshing to find women who write in this way.
Many readers would say that this book isn't practical enough. I believe that laying a firm biblical foundation will lead to practicality, and that was the motive behind Thompson's book. She addresses her audience beyond the scope of women, but shares her experience as a wife and mother. This book is recommended to anyone who wishes to see God's redeeming grace in their relationships.
Many thanks to Bethany House and NetGally for the copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
April 24, 2015
http://justcommonly.blogspot.com/2015...
Everyday Grace by Jessica Thompson humbly speaks to her readers about the true love of God, and how by grace, our brokenness can be repaired. I am intrigued with the idea of grace and what grace is. Ms. Thompson uses this book to let us realize, accept and understand the grace that God gives us everyday and in turn extends and transform this grace in our relationship with others. Don't get me wrong. This is NOT a how-to or an advice book. Ms. Thompson even point out says this is not an advice book and it won't contain a lot of advice. What it is, is a narrative. It pulls out areas in the Bible and explains to us her ideas and translate it in terms of how we can relate to others with it. It is simply said from the cover of the book, "Everyday Grace: Infusing all your relationships with the love of Jesus."
I enjoy reading this book at first. I like how it reads well, like she's speaking to me. I can tell she's a great speaker, and I would be interested in attending one of her sessions in the future. How many of us emphasize the "doing" in our relationships, either from our other halves to with our family and friends? Ms. Thompson does well in grasping this concept in the early chapters of the book. She notes, "We can get so caught up in the doing that we forget the people we are supposed to love" (p43). How many of us are guilty of it? I know I am from time to time. God made us all unique in our own ways. And how we relate to others all require us to first seek and allow the Holy Spirit to work in us. I love how Ms. Thompson emphasized what God has already done for us for us to see what we need to do. It's time to focus on the done and not what to do. Focus on what your husband has done for you, and not what you think he aught to do. That really is important. Extend the grace given to you to others.
I believe the book started off very well, but by the end, I felt it fell short. Nothing was amiss. Everything was what the way it was from the early chapters. However, by mid-book, I felt a sense of repetitiveness. True, the chapters are different headings, and the words are different, but somehow it felt off. This may not be a helpful part of the review, since even I don't understand why I couldn't figure out what is wrong. I do think the last chapter reverted back to the first 3-4 chapters and its goodness. It summarized what is crucial - God's grace and what it means.
Ms. Thompson said in her book, "My hope is that this book will help you 'taste and see that the Lord is good' (Psalm 34:8). That as I open up to you all that he is and all that he has done, your senses will be overwhelmed and he will be your treasure. As you taste this multifaceted relationship with God, it will transform all of your other relationships." (p43). I appreciate her frankness, her humility and her insights and this book did open up my mind or senses. It open up discussions and thoughts with others as well, so with that it was achieved. And personally, I love any books that brings Bible verses into the mix and give us a good explanation.
Then, also personally and lastly, my pet peeve is when books do not capitalize on the pronouns of God (for example, see above quote).
Note: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher, Bethany House for an honest review.
Everyday Grace by Jessica Thompson humbly speaks to her readers about the true love of God, and how by grace, our brokenness can be repaired. I am intrigued with the idea of grace and what grace is. Ms. Thompson uses this book to let us realize, accept and understand the grace that God gives us everyday and in turn extends and transform this grace in our relationship with others. Don't get me wrong. This is NOT a how-to or an advice book. Ms. Thompson even point out says this is not an advice book and it won't contain a lot of advice. What it is, is a narrative. It pulls out areas in the Bible and explains to us her ideas and translate it in terms of how we can relate to others with it. It is simply said from the cover of the book, "Everyday Grace: Infusing all your relationships with the love of Jesus."
I enjoy reading this book at first. I like how it reads well, like she's speaking to me. I can tell she's a great speaker, and I would be interested in attending one of her sessions in the future. How many of us emphasize the "doing" in our relationships, either from our other halves to with our family and friends? Ms. Thompson does well in grasping this concept in the early chapters of the book. She notes, "We can get so caught up in the doing that we forget the people we are supposed to love" (p43). How many of us are guilty of it? I know I am from time to time. God made us all unique in our own ways. And how we relate to others all require us to first seek and allow the Holy Spirit to work in us. I love how Ms. Thompson emphasized what God has already done for us for us to see what we need to do. It's time to focus on the done and not what to do. Focus on what your husband has done for you, and not what you think he aught to do. That really is important. Extend the grace given to you to others.
I believe the book started off very well, but by the end, I felt it fell short. Nothing was amiss. Everything was what the way it was from the early chapters. However, by mid-book, I felt a sense of repetitiveness. True, the chapters are different headings, and the words are different, but somehow it felt off. This may not be a helpful part of the review, since even I don't understand why I couldn't figure out what is wrong. I do think the last chapter reverted back to the first 3-4 chapters and its goodness. It summarized what is crucial - God's grace and what it means.
Ms. Thompson said in her book, "My hope is that this book will help you 'taste and see that the Lord is good' (Psalm 34:8). That as I open up to you all that he is and all that he has done, your senses will be overwhelmed and he will be your treasure. As you taste this multifaceted relationship with God, it will transform all of your other relationships." (p43). I appreciate her frankness, her humility and her insights and this book did open up my mind or senses. It open up discussions and thoughts with others as well, so with that it was achieved. And personally, I love any books that brings Bible verses into the mix and give us a good explanation.
Then, also personally and lastly, my pet peeve is when books do not capitalize on the pronouns of God (for example, see above quote).
Note: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher, Bethany House for an honest review.
May 4, 2015
So, this past year, I've been doing some soul searching (aren't I always?) and Bible reading and it has occurred to me that even though I'm waking up every morning and living my life, sometimes there are still areas I'm struggling. And I'll even admit that sometimes I don't allow the Holy Spirit to do what He does best, which is transform me. #imaginethat
I have wonderful relationships, but they could certainly be better.
You may be significantly different from me by color of your hair, skin or eyes, but I'm pretty sure grace is not something any of us are born with. Sure we see children who have compassion for each other, but take their favorite toy away and see if they're still as gracious. And I'll admit, sadly, I've seen some adults who still have that reaction; faster than you can say "Golden Rule".
What makes this book so special? There are many books on the topic of grace, loving others, even having the love of Jesus. What made this book stand out to me, and why am I recommending that you take time out of your precious day to read it? Because it's unlike any other "Christian help book".
Jessica starts out by addressing what we all need to know: that we are all sinners who need a Savior. One line from her book that struck me (and will resonate with you too) is the following: "We are a performance-based people, which is completely ironic, because our performance every days is far less than perfect. We live in performance-based relationships." We tend to ask what others can do for us, instead of seeking to meet their needs. From there, she goes right into the truth of our need for a Savior who can meet us in that place, and change us. Once we recognize our need for love and grace, we can accept it with the help of the Holy Spirit and then let Him transform us so we can give those inhuman attributes to those around us.
The other beautiful thing about this book is that she ACTUALLY goes into HOW to give grace in the relationships we tend to have: children, friendships, communities, marriages, families, church families, and coworkers. She doesn't give step-by-step instructions with bullet points, but provides relevant and Scriptural sound advice on how to deal with our own insecurities, so we can give the best parts of ourselves to others. We can move from "what can you do for me" to "what can I do for you" without batting an eye.
It seemed to me that every word written was necessary in this book; there wasn't a ton of "filler". Everything was beneficial to tie the ends together and I think it's a lovely read, with a powerful message. Do you want to have healthier relationships? It starts with us loving like Christ.
Pick this book up today!
I have wonderful relationships, but they could certainly be better.
You may be significantly different from me by color of your hair, skin or eyes, but I'm pretty sure grace is not something any of us are born with. Sure we see children who have compassion for each other, but take their favorite toy away and see if they're still as gracious. And I'll admit, sadly, I've seen some adults who still have that reaction; faster than you can say "Golden Rule".
What makes this book so special? There are many books on the topic of grace, loving others, even having the love of Jesus. What made this book stand out to me, and why am I recommending that you take time out of your precious day to read it? Because it's unlike any other "Christian help book".
Jessica starts out by addressing what we all need to know: that we are all sinners who need a Savior. One line from her book that struck me (and will resonate with you too) is the following: "We are a performance-based people, which is completely ironic, because our performance every days is far less than perfect. We live in performance-based relationships." We tend to ask what others can do for us, instead of seeking to meet their needs. From there, she goes right into the truth of our need for a Savior who can meet us in that place, and change us. Once we recognize our need for love and grace, we can accept it with the help of the Holy Spirit and then let Him transform us so we can give those inhuman attributes to those around us.
The other beautiful thing about this book is that she ACTUALLY goes into HOW to give grace in the relationships we tend to have: children, friendships, communities, marriages, families, church families, and coworkers. She doesn't give step-by-step instructions with bullet points, but provides relevant and Scriptural sound advice on how to deal with our own insecurities, so we can give the best parts of ourselves to others. We can move from "what can you do for me" to "what can I do for you" without batting an eye.
It seemed to me that every word written was necessary in this book; there wasn't a ton of "filler". Everything was beneficial to tie the ends together and I think it's a lovely read, with a powerful message. Do you want to have healthier relationships? It starts with us loving like Christ.
Pick this book up today!
May 10, 2015
In Everyday Grace, Jessica Thompson discusses the importance of working through relationships with God’s grace. She emphasizes that Christianity is not about relying on your own strength to be better and do better because failure is part of life. She states, “It is good to be aware that you fail as long as you remember that he didn’t and that he loves us regardless of our failures” (pg. 40). Relationships are hard and often Christians feel that if they’re not doing everything perfectly, they’re failing. This is where the grace of Jesus is so important because it takes the onus off of the Christian and puts it back into the loving arms of Jesus. Does that mean it is ok to misbehave? Absolutely not, but it is ok to understand that each person’s life is not performance based, rather through continual humility before God and dependence on the work of the Holy Spirit.
Ms. Thompson talks about each person gaining their identity in the wrong places. She references how often people use employment, achievements and their children as identity markers. For any season that a believer may currently be in, Everyday Grace offers great truths that are great to learn and relearn.
She also writes about God’s love and desire for fellowship with His creation. It is a friendship that He establishes and desires with each person and she states, “He doesn’t feel obligated to be our friend; it is his joy to be in relationship with us” (pg. 74). She discusses how to kill a friendship by putting too much weight on the other person’s ability or inability to be everything we need. “We place so many expectations on each other! Unrealistic expectations kill grace” (pg. 120).
Ms. Thompson takes the reader through each person of the Trinity to understand the expectations and provisions made so that a godly life is possible. In that, she discusses the truth behind how difficult relationships affect each person and she states, “Difficult people rip away our fig leaf of good reputation and it hurts” (pg. 186).
Throughout the book, Ms. Thompson uses quotes from many great authors including C.H. Spurgeon, Octavius Winslow, Francis Chan and John Piper to emphasize her point and add influence.
Overall, I felt Everyday Grace was a good read. It’s a book that would be great for a new believer, or someone who struggles with performance issues. I would recommend it and give it four out of five stars. I received this book from Bethany House Publishers in exchange for my honest review in the Blogger Review Program which I've provided here.
Ms. Thompson talks about each person gaining their identity in the wrong places. She references how often people use employment, achievements and their children as identity markers. For any season that a believer may currently be in, Everyday Grace offers great truths that are great to learn and relearn.
She also writes about God’s love and desire for fellowship with His creation. It is a friendship that He establishes and desires with each person and she states, “He doesn’t feel obligated to be our friend; it is his joy to be in relationship with us” (pg. 74). She discusses how to kill a friendship by putting too much weight on the other person’s ability or inability to be everything we need. “We place so many expectations on each other! Unrealistic expectations kill grace” (pg. 120).
Ms. Thompson takes the reader through each person of the Trinity to understand the expectations and provisions made so that a godly life is possible. In that, she discusses the truth behind how difficult relationships affect each person and she states, “Difficult people rip away our fig leaf of good reputation and it hurts” (pg. 186).
Throughout the book, Ms. Thompson uses quotes from many great authors including C.H. Spurgeon, Octavius Winslow, Francis Chan and John Piper to emphasize her point and add influence.
Overall, I felt Everyday Grace was a good read. It’s a book that would be great for a new believer, or someone who struggles with performance issues. I would recommend it and give it four out of five stars. I received this book from Bethany House Publishers in exchange for my honest review in the Blogger Review Program which I've provided here.
March 20, 2015
Title: Everyday Grace: Infusing All Your Relationships with the Love of Jesus
Author: Jessica Thompson
Publishing House/Publication Date: Bethany House/2015
Genres: Christian Living; Inspirational Non-Fiction; Relationships
Number of Pages: 208
You should read this book if… You are searching for wisdom to strengthen the relationships in your life with God-given grace.
Theme and Message: Ultimately, this book is a guide to giving and receiving grace through the most important relationship in the world – God’s with us. Highlighting various types of relationships between people, Jessica then points towards a better way of interacting through the filter of God’s association with us.
Writing Style and Voice: For me, the writing style of Jessica Thompson took a little getting used to… Her words, while truthful, are often rather blunt. At times the author’s voice feels detached, making it difficult to become engaged in the content. Additionally, her prolific use of lengthy, inset quotations from other authors continually draws away from her own words, lessening their impact.
Structure and Organization: The layout of this book is basic – twelve lengthy chapters precede a forward by the author’s mother, Elyse Fitzpatrick.
Questionable Content: Each person who reads this book will undoubtedly find different aspects they agree or disagree with, as every chapter is chock-full of various doctrines and theologies. Apart from this, the author makes controversial statements, such as her book being superior to the thousands of other Christian relationship books available today.
Conclusion: Overall, this book was difficult for me to get through. Perhaps the author’s unique approach to relationships, combined with an unusual writing style and numerous, debatable doctrines, simply did not resonate with me as a reader. On the flipside, this book may be exactly what certain people need in their relationships, and her words may provide light and healing to them. However, outside of voice and doctrine, some of her statements are a little over the top and presumptuous… Not to mention, they are not exactly an affirmation of grace.
Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.
Author: Jessica Thompson
Publishing House/Publication Date: Bethany House/2015
Genres: Christian Living; Inspirational Non-Fiction; Relationships
Number of Pages: 208
You should read this book if… You are searching for wisdom to strengthen the relationships in your life with God-given grace.
Theme and Message: Ultimately, this book is a guide to giving and receiving grace through the most important relationship in the world – God’s with us. Highlighting various types of relationships between people, Jessica then points towards a better way of interacting through the filter of God’s association with us.
Writing Style and Voice: For me, the writing style of Jessica Thompson took a little getting used to… Her words, while truthful, are often rather blunt. At times the author’s voice feels detached, making it difficult to become engaged in the content. Additionally, her prolific use of lengthy, inset quotations from other authors continually draws away from her own words, lessening their impact.
Structure and Organization: The layout of this book is basic – twelve lengthy chapters precede a forward by the author’s mother, Elyse Fitzpatrick.
Questionable Content: Each person who reads this book will undoubtedly find different aspects they agree or disagree with, as every chapter is chock-full of various doctrines and theologies. Apart from this, the author makes controversial statements, such as her book being superior to the thousands of other Christian relationship books available today.
Conclusion: Overall, this book was difficult for me to get through. Perhaps the author’s unique approach to relationships, combined with an unusual writing style and numerous, debatable doctrines, simply did not resonate with me as a reader. On the flipside, this book may be exactly what certain people need in their relationships, and her words may provide light and healing to them. However, outside of voice and doctrine, some of her statements are a little over the top and presumptuous… Not to mention, they are not exactly an affirmation of grace.
Book has been provided courtesy of Baker Publishing Group and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc.
November 18, 2019
Jessica Thompson has written a valuable book. In it she highlights many different types of relationships we have and shows us that we can mess up these relationships yet continue to show grace. Its a fantastic reminder of how broad our lives are, yet how applicable God's gospel of grace is.
April 14, 2015
“It's hard, sometimes, to get over that thing your husband said weeks ago; or to resolve that tension with your colleague at work; or to fix a lifelong friendship that's taken a bad turn. The biggest problem with relationships is they always seem to involve sinners--including ourselves. So how can we form strong, resilient bonds with people who, like us, are bound to mess up?
Thankfully, it's not all on us. Through stories and biblical teaching, Jessica Thompson helps us move beyond trying to "fix" the people we interact with, and shows us a better way. Though our relationships may be marred by tension and frustration, because we are welcomed and known by Christ, they don't have to stay that way.”
Everyday Grace by Jessica Thompson… this is not your everyday “self-help” book that once read will solve all of your personal, relational, spiritual, etc woes. The author admits right up front that there are over twenty thousand of those books with a Christian Worldview already out there. So what makes Everyday Grace worth picking up?
We already know that we need to be loving and accepting and unselfish to make our relationships work. So again, why pick up this book. Because in this book, the author takes us right into the heart of the matter… us. We first take a look at our own brokenness. We cannot be loving and accepting and unselfish with others, if we don’t have that already within ourselves. This book works to bring life back to our souls.
By using her own life stories, Ms. Thompson helps the reader to begin working on her own brokenness, and bringing life to her own soul first through our relationship with God our Father. And then onto relationships with our spouse, children, family, friendships, marriages, church family, our co-workers and yes, difficult people that we all have in our lives.
*Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book through the Bethany House Blogger Review Program, in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own, and no monetary compensation was received for this review.
*Reviews of this book were posted at the following locations:
Amazon, Christian Book, Deeper Shopping, Goodreads, and to be featured on my blog at http://titus3.wordpress.com
Thankfully, it's not all on us. Through stories and biblical teaching, Jessica Thompson helps us move beyond trying to "fix" the people we interact with, and shows us a better way. Though our relationships may be marred by tension and frustration, because we are welcomed and known by Christ, they don't have to stay that way.”
Everyday Grace by Jessica Thompson… this is not your everyday “self-help” book that once read will solve all of your personal, relational, spiritual, etc woes. The author admits right up front that there are over twenty thousand of those books with a Christian Worldview already out there. So what makes Everyday Grace worth picking up?
We already know that we need to be loving and accepting and unselfish to make our relationships work. So again, why pick up this book. Because in this book, the author takes us right into the heart of the matter… us. We first take a look at our own brokenness. We cannot be loving and accepting and unselfish with others, if we don’t have that already within ourselves. This book works to bring life back to our souls.
By using her own life stories, Ms. Thompson helps the reader to begin working on her own brokenness, and bringing life to her own soul first through our relationship with God our Father. And then onto relationships with our spouse, children, family, friendships, marriages, church family, our co-workers and yes, difficult people that we all have in our lives.
*Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book through the Bethany House Blogger Review Program, in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own, and no monetary compensation was received for this review.
*Reviews of this book were posted at the following locations:
Amazon, Christian Book, Deeper Shopping, Goodreads, and to be featured on my blog at http://titus3.wordpress.com
November 18, 2015
In Everyday Grace: Infusing All Your Relationships With the Love of Jesus, Jessica Thompson points out that most relationships operate on the basis of karma – I’ll do for you if you’ll do for me, or maybe I’ll do for you so that you’ll do for me in return. But Christianity operates on the basis of grace: God loved us and Jesus died for us when we were enemies, when we didn’t care, when we didn’t love Him, and He wants us to love others in the same way.
But how can we do that? He is God, and though he has saved and changed us, in our everyday lives our old fleshly nature too often evidences itself.
In subsequent chapters, Jessica discusses God as our Father and husband and how that influences our relationships with our spouse and children, Jesus as a friend, coworker, brother, and how that influences our relationships in each of those areas, as well as how our relationship with God directs our interactions with our communities and fellow church members. She ends with discussing the Holy Spirit’s help, dealing with difficult people, and “The Gospel for the Relationship Failure.”
While I found this book immensely helpful in many ways, I’m not eager to go out and buy everything Thompson has ever written. The truth grabbed me: for the most part, the writing did not. There was a lot of repetition. Plus I think she went way too far in her speculations in some biblical situations that the Bible doesn’t spell out. But I found much more that I did like in the book than I didn’t like, and I feel I could recommend it with a caution about those sections.
But how can we do that? He is God, and though he has saved and changed us, in our everyday lives our old fleshly nature too often evidences itself.
We are not basically good people who need a little instruction so that we can live up to our full potential. We are completely sinful people who need help from outside of ourselves in order to be made alive (p. 39).
We don’t just need a new list; we need a new heart. That is exactly what is promised to us in Ezekiel 11:19-20: And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statutes and keep my rules and obey them. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God (p. 47).
In subsequent chapters, Jessica discusses God as our Father and husband and how that influences our relationships with our spouse and children, Jesus as a friend, coworker, brother, and how that influences our relationships in each of those areas, as well as how our relationship with God directs our interactions with our communities and fellow church members. She ends with discussing the Holy Spirit’s help, dealing with difficult people, and “The Gospel for the Relationship Failure.”
While I found this book immensely helpful in many ways, I’m not eager to go out and buy everything Thompson has ever written. The truth grabbed me: for the most part, the writing did not. There was a lot of repetition. Plus I think she went way too far in her speculations in some biblical situations that the Bible doesn’t spell out. But I found much more that I did like in the book than I didn’t like, and I feel I could recommend it with a caution about those sections.
April 13, 2015
Everyday Grace: Infusing All Your Relationships with the Love of Jesus by Jessica Thompson is a great read that reminds you that the Holy Spirit is in control! She starts by telling us that Everyday Grace is anything but another Christian self-help book. This book doesn't tell us what we should and shouldn't do, but instead reminds us of what Christ has done for us. Everyday Grace is a book of hope that keeps us focused on Jesus.
Karma - you do for me and I will do for you. Living with this type of attitude, as most of us do is exhausting.
"The truth is we don’t want ka me, ka thee or karma, even though we think we do. The gospel refutes this idea completely. It is anti-karma and pro-grace. The gospel says that even though you aren’t good enough now and actually never will be good enough in your own good works, I am going to give to you anyway. The gospel tells us that all we have earned has been given to the Son and all the Son has earned has been given undeservingly to us. If we try to rely on karma to see us through, it will be an endless life of working never to obtain. If we rest our souls in the gospel, our lives will be full of receiving, even though we could never work hard enough to receive the gift we have been given." page 4
Each chapter is awesome, the chapter on our children, reminds us of the love of God for ALL of his children. The chapter on friendships reminds us that Jesus is our friend that we can always turn too, a friend that will never let us down. The chapter about our husbands/marriages reminds us of Christ's love for his Church. The chapter on loving difficult people shares how the Holy Spirit is always with us to help and guide us. I enjoyed the entire book but this particular chapter is my favorite, it is a great reminder in letting the Holy Spirit do what he is sent to do.
Everyday Grace has been added to my favorites books to be reread. I think it will be a number one Christianity book for 2015. One I highly recommend to everyone, as we all have relationships of some type.
I received an ARC (advanced reader's copy) from Bethany House in exchange for my honest review, rather it be good or bad. Thank you.
Karma - you do for me and I will do for you. Living with this type of attitude, as most of us do is exhausting.
"The truth is we don’t want ka me, ka thee or karma, even though we think we do. The gospel refutes this idea completely. It is anti-karma and pro-grace. The gospel says that even though you aren’t good enough now and actually never will be good enough in your own good works, I am going to give to you anyway. The gospel tells us that all we have earned has been given to the Son and all the Son has earned has been given undeservingly to us. If we try to rely on karma to see us through, it will be an endless life of working never to obtain. If we rest our souls in the gospel, our lives will be full of receiving, even though we could never work hard enough to receive the gift we have been given." page 4
Each chapter is awesome, the chapter on our children, reminds us of the love of God for ALL of his children. The chapter on friendships reminds us that Jesus is our friend that we can always turn too, a friend that will never let us down. The chapter about our husbands/marriages reminds us of Christ's love for his Church. The chapter on loving difficult people shares how the Holy Spirit is always with us to help and guide us. I enjoyed the entire book but this particular chapter is my favorite, it is a great reminder in letting the Holy Spirit do what he is sent to do.
Everyday Grace has been added to my favorites books to be reread. I think it will be a number one Christianity book for 2015. One I highly recommend to everyone, as we all have relationships of some type.
I received an ARC (advanced reader's copy) from Bethany House in exchange for my honest review, rather it be good or bad. Thank you.
May 4, 2015
In Everyday Grace, Jessica Thompson presents an alternative to the many relationship how-to books already available. Thompson reviews the various aspects or characteristics of God (for example, friend, father, healer) and explains how she believes those characteristics impact our relationships with others (for example, friends, parents, communities). This provides unique grounds for the reader to build ideas to improve relationships.
In the introduction, Thompson makes it clear that Everyday Grace is not a book filled with concrete examples or advice. Everyday Grace does not offer detailed solutions to solve conflicts, deal with difficult people, or establish boundaries in relationships. At times, the lack of concrete examples and advice makes the reader feel like something is missing. If you are looking for a book that will provide suggestions of what to do or say, or how to act, Everyday Grace might not be the book for you.
However, Thompson does an excellent job of reviewing how a Christian’s relationship with and salvation through Christ should affect how we view our earthly relationships. I think this is an important perspective that many other books rush through or skip altogether. Therefore, reading Everyday Grace in conjunction with another how-to book would provide a well-rounded foundation for approaching difficult relationships.
Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
In the introduction, Thompson makes it clear that Everyday Grace is not a book filled with concrete examples or advice. Everyday Grace does not offer detailed solutions to solve conflicts, deal with difficult people, or establish boundaries in relationships. At times, the lack of concrete examples and advice makes the reader feel like something is missing. If you are looking for a book that will provide suggestions of what to do or say, or how to act, Everyday Grace might not be the book for you.
However, Thompson does an excellent job of reviewing how a Christian’s relationship with and salvation through Christ should affect how we view our earthly relationships. I think this is an important perspective that many other books rush through or skip altogether. Therefore, reading Everyday Grace in conjunction with another how-to book would provide a well-rounded foundation for approaching difficult relationships.
Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
January 7, 2015
This book covers various relationships one will encounter (marriage, family, children, neighbors, church members, & co-workers). I did find the book helpful, it centered in areas in relationships that I have overlooked and that need help. The author shares her own struggles and shortcomings in these areas and guides the reader to see the how important our relationship with Jesus is reflective in our relationship with others.
I would recommend this book for others who are struggling in relationships and are needing a godly approach to know how to work through the problems.
“We believe that if we are bad, he is just waiting to unleash his wrath on us. The truth is that he has already unleashed his wrath on his Son for all of our badness.”
We aren't enraptured with the Father’s heart toward us, his Son’s generosity doesn't move us, and the Holy Spirit’s ongoing and unending work doesn't stir our hearts.
We believe that if we are bad, he is just waiting to unleash his wrath on us. The truth is that he has already unleashed his wrath on his Son for all of our badness.
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Note: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher, Bethany House for an honest review.
I would recommend this book for others who are struggling in relationships and are needing a godly approach to know how to work through the problems.
“We believe that if we are bad, he is just waiting to unleash his wrath on us. The truth is that he has already unleashed his wrath on his Son for all of our badness.”
We aren't enraptured with the Father’s heart toward us, his Son’s generosity doesn't move us, and the Holy Spirit’s ongoing and unending work doesn't stir our hearts.
We believe that if we are bad, he is just waiting to unleash his wrath on us. The truth is that he has already unleashed his wrath on his Son for all of our badness.
--------------------
Note: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher, Bethany House for an honest review.
May 21, 2015
Thompson’s answer to broken relationships is theologically sound and she grounds it in solid Biblical exegesis. Her advice is excellent, regardless of whether you are a man, woman, or child. But I wonder whether the good news that Jesus has redeemed our sinful world doesn’t also extend to women. Galatians 3:28 tells us that “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Surely that truth should cause the Christians reading this book to work on redeeming their relationships by dismantling the inequalities that make Thompson’s life harder than it should be. It feels to me like the illustrations Thompson uses reinforce the status quo because she never challenges them. And by making the subjection of women seem natural, she prevents women from living into the very freedom she preaches. As new creations, we are no longer bound by gender norms – look like this, behave like that – and we should not bind other people to them either.
Read my full review here: http://wordsbecamebooks.com/2015/04/2...
Read my full review here: http://wordsbecamebooks.com/2015/04/2...
May 1, 2015
I feel the author did not deliver on what she said was her goal for the book. We don't need another book on relations, she writes. She wants to liven our soul, to have us taste and see the love of Jesus for us. She says we need nothing from human relationships since all our needs are met in our relationships with God and Jesus. Yet we fall short all the time, she admits.
After reading the beginning of the book, I had high hopes. The book contains much theory but there are no practical suggestions as to how to have that relationship with Jesus fill our emotional needs or our physical needs. She has many stories of falling short but what is missing are stories of people who actually loved others because they knew the love of God.
I just did not connect with this author's way of trying to fulfill the goal she stated at the beginning of the book.
See my complete review at http://bit.ly/1FBrwK8.
I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.
After reading the beginning of the book, I had high hopes. The book contains much theory but there are no practical suggestions as to how to have that relationship with Jesus fill our emotional needs or our physical needs. She has many stories of falling short but what is missing are stories of people who actually loved others because they knew the love of God.
I just did not connect with this author's way of trying to fulfill the goal she stated at the beginning of the book.
See my complete review at http://bit.ly/1FBrwK8.
I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.
April 20, 2015
Everyday Grace by Jessica Thompson is a perfect nudge on how to "infuse all your relationships with the love of Jesus".
"A sought-after speaker at counseling conferences, Thompson teaches that it's not our job to "fix" the people we're in relationship with, but instead to reveal and receive the grace of Jesus in everything from our interactions with spouses to lunch conversations at work."
The thing I love about this book is that Thompson is very humble in her teachings. She clearly states, time and time again, that she is still learning the things that she is preaching. Because it's easy to know what we should do, it's so much harder to actually do it.
This book isn't going to fix all your problems. But it is going to give you a different perspective and help you, as well as your relationships, reach a bigger potential.
This book was given to me by Bethany House Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
"A sought-after speaker at counseling conferences, Thompson teaches that it's not our job to "fix" the people we're in relationship with, but instead to reveal and receive the grace of Jesus in everything from our interactions with spouses to lunch conversations at work."
The thing I love about this book is that Thompson is very humble in her teachings. She clearly states, time and time again, that she is still learning the things that she is preaching. Because it's easy to know what we should do, it's so much harder to actually do it.
This book isn't going to fix all your problems. But it is going to give you a different perspective and help you, as well as your relationships, reach a bigger potential.
This book was given to me by Bethany House Publishing in exchange for my honest review.
May 8, 2015
This book gives a new perspective on relationships. The author tells the reader early in the beginning that this is not a how to or step by step guide to help push us along in our relationships.
We get to see relationships from God the Father and Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirits relationship to us. In turn, we can use these biblical truths and apply them to our relationships with others.
Relationships with our children, friends, community, marriage,families, church members, co workers, and difficult people are discussed.
The book is divided into 12 chapters, so this book can easily be read as a short daily bible study.
I found the book to be very encouraging and it gave a refreshing outlook on how we should view our relationship with others in relationship to the grace and love that was shown to us by God the Father and Jesus the Son.
I received this book from Goodreads First Reads.
We get to see relationships from God the Father and Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirits relationship to us. In turn, we can use these biblical truths and apply them to our relationships with others.
Relationships with our children, friends, community, marriage,families, church members, co workers, and difficult people are discussed.
The book is divided into 12 chapters, so this book can easily be read as a short daily bible study.
I found the book to be very encouraging and it gave a refreshing outlook on how we should view our relationship with others in relationship to the grace and love that was shown to us by God the Father and Jesus the Son.
I received this book from Goodreads First Reads.
April 17, 2017
I loved this book from cover to cover. Very practical advice and encouragement written in a down to earth way. It's an easy read but the content made me take one chapter at a time. There was a lot to dwell on, pray about, and apply.
Thompson covers all possible relationships: parents/children, spouse, work, church and shows how Christ is our perfect example for how to deal with all these. It's grace, over and over. While pointing out ways we struggle, Thompson doesn't leave us floundering but gentle shows how it should look and offers reminders and loads of bible verses for when we struggle.
The basic message is 'remember what we have been given and live out relationships in light of that. If God gave us grace, give it to others'. That's very simplified though!
I highly recommend this book.
Thompson covers all possible relationships: parents/children, spouse, work, church and shows how Christ is our perfect example for how to deal with all these. It's grace, over and over. While pointing out ways we struggle, Thompson doesn't leave us floundering but gentle shows how it should look and offers reminders and loads of bible verses for when we struggle.
The basic message is 'remember what we have been given and live out relationships in light of that. If God gave us grace, give it to others'. That's very simplified though!
I highly recommend this book.
April 21, 2015
I received this book through goodreads first-reads.
The author puts forth a book on relationships with they key of Jesus being all that you need and when you see that and look to his love and Grace you then can love others. The author is refreshingly realistic about herself and who we are as fallen humanity. She is candid about her struggles and reactions to others in her life. The truth that none of us have it all together and that we will sin against others and them against us. She shows the truth of the gospel that Jesus through the Holy Spirit fixes and helps us just as we are due to His Grace. I do not agree with every point that is put worth, however as a whole it lays out the truth of being in relationship with Jesus which in turn helps us in relationships with others.
The author puts forth a book on relationships with they key of Jesus being all that you need and when you see that and look to his love and Grace you then can love others. The author is refreshingly realistic about herself and who we are as fallen humanity. She is candid about her struggles and reactions to others in her life. The truth that none of us have it all together and that we will sin against others and them against us. She shows the truth of the gospel that Jesus through the Holy Spirit fixes and helps us just as we are due to His Grace. I do not agree with every point that is put worth, however as a whole it lays out the truth of being in relationship with Jesus which in turn helps us in relationships with others.
February 2, 2016
God placed this book in my hands at the most perfect time when I'm really struggling with my closest relationships and struggling with focusing on my most important relationship with Jesus. Addresses all types of relationships and can't imagine anyone not taking great encouragement and truths from this book. Very real. Easy to read. I will revisit this spiritual tool I'm sure over and over. Jessica Thompson's writings led you feel as though you are receiving wise counsel and caring that a fellow friend in Christ can lend. An awesome, deeply moving and faith building read all based on seeing and believing and truly living a life loved by Jesus and sharing that love backed by grace with others.
Read
July 15, 2018A Grace-Filled Guide to Navigating Relationships
The problem with relationships is they always seem to involve sinners--including ourselves. So how can we build and heal relationships with people who, like us, are bound to mess up?
A sought-after speaker at counseling conferences, Thompson teaches that it's not our job to "fix" the people we're in relationship with, but instead to reveal and receive the grace of Jesus in everything from our interactions with spouses to lunch conversations at work. You're not doomed to live with tension and frustration. True biblical love is rooted in humility and grace, and through the power of Christ's love, you can experience the relationships you've always hoped for.
The problem with relationships is they always seem to involve sinners--including ourselves. So how can we build and heal relationships with people who, like us, are bound to mess up?
A sought-after speaker at counseling conferences, Thompson teaches that it's not our job to "fix" the people we're in relationship with, but instead to reveal and receive the grace of Jesus in everything from our interactions with spouses to lunch conversations at work. You're not doomed to live with tension and frustration. True biblical love is rooted in humility and grace, and through the power of Christ's love, you can experience the relationships you've always hoped for.
April 30, 2015
I loved this book! Writing about relationships and the struggles we face with those that surround us. This is no how to book, but rather Thompson uses the power of the gospel message to show how our relationship with Jesus is the key to better relationships with others. I loved the honesty of the writer and I could truly relate to her many examples. Not only was this a wonderful reminder of all we are and all we have in Christ but it was also an important reminder of how to pursue our relationships are on this earth. I would recommend this book to any Christian.
staying-away
June 30, 2017-Disclaimer: I won this book for free through goodreads giveaways in exchange for an honest review.-
I simply did not get anything out of this book and didn't agree with some things said. Therefore I have passed it on, perhaps someone else will enjoy it.
I simply did not get anything out of this book and didn't agree with some things said. Therefore I have passed it on, perhaps someone else will enjoy it.
July 12, 2015
"The point is that Jesus takes it all and uses it for his glory. Every relationship, every failure, every brokenness is all redeemed by the blood of the Lamb."
July 27, 2015
As the subtitle states - this book guides you to see Jesus infused in all of your relationships.
If you have even one relationship in your life, READ THIS BOOK!!!!
If you have even one relationship in your life, READ THIS BOOK!!!!
August 26, 2015
What a great read. Broken up into specific relationships and how the Gospel can inform and strengthen them. Good read and good reference to have on the shelf!
December 6, 2019
I can’t say I didn’t find parts of this book helpful but I also can’t say it’s a “must read”. There was really nothing revelatory and I felt like in spite of recognizing there was a general theme of Grace and how our relationship with Christ should affect varying human relationships it wasn’t a very cohesive book. The author’s anecdotes and writing style also often fell flat for me. Basically this wasn’t bad or unbiblical, nor do I regret reading it, but I think there are a multitude of better options on this topic.
January 28, 2024
DNF : I really wanted to enjoy/learn from this book but it felt like it kept going around and around in circles without ever really getting anywhere. The first chapter could have encompassed the whole book. This one sentence I can write could honestly sum up the whole book. “God sent his son to die for you, thus showing us the greatest act of love imaginable, therefore you should remember and honor that in all of your relationships regardless of how they treat you.”
December 11, 2022
I breezed through this pretty quickly, and I wish I hadn't, because the content was good and refreshing, and now I don't remember most of it.
July 7, 2019
Thoughtful application of grace to relationships. Chapter on marriage is great. Thanks.
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