Dear England: Lessons in Leadership

by Gareth Southgate

THE INSTANT SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER


‘In his book Dear Lessons in Leadership, Gareth Southgate shows that he was much more than a football manager. He changed the culture of the England team — and the country' Sunday Times

‘A beautiful book … I really recommend it’ Rory Stewart

‘What is remarkable is the insight it offers into Southgate’s psychology and what sustained him through the darkest times and enabled him to become an exemplary leader’ The Times

‘Compelling, entertaining . . . Southgate articulated a moral vision that was beyond anything attempted by a generation of British politicians.' Guardian

‘A leadership manual’ Alastair Campbell

‘A tremendous book’ Chris Evans

‘Many of us find ourselves called upon to be leaders at some point in our lives. Whatever meaning leadership has for you, I hope the stories I tell in these pages may resonate with your own experiences, and may even offer you some guidance.'
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As England manager, in one of the highest profile roles in the country, Gareth Southgate forged a unique management style, combining calm empathy with mental resilience, and courageous integrity with strong accountability. His leadership at England propelled the men’s national team to its most sustained success in fifty years, reaching the 2018 Fifa World Cup semi-final, the 2022 quarter-final, and the Uefa Euro 2020 and 2024 finals. In the process, Southgate revitalised and reshaped the national team’s footballing identity.

In Dear Lessons in Leadership, Southgate reveals the defining moments that forged his leadership style, the principles that informed his biggest decisions, and the inner steel he developed that enabled him to perform under the most intense public scrutiny. Learn how


Build resilience and define values Transform culture Shape a winning strategy Turn pressure into performance Lead through adversity
Southgate reflects on his early days as a Premier League captain, his lowest moment missing a penalty during Euro 96, through to his experiences guiding England through four major tournaments, and becoming a cultural figure whose open letter during the Covid-19 pandemic inspired a hit West End play. Southgate’s story is one of overcoming setbacks, building quiet resolve and enacting long-lasting change.

Written with warmth, honesty and wisdom, Southgate’s inspiring book transcends football to offer modern-day leadership lessons for any individual, team or organisation.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography

330 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 6, 2025

Reviews

[Paul Fulcher · Rating 4 out of 5]

If i were remembered as a decent person who led authentically, treated others fairly and did his best for the team and for the nation in his own way, then the fact that I oversaw the best period in English football for more than fifty years would merely be a bonus.

A (surprisingly) impressive book that showcases Southgate's approach of empathetic, authentic, ethical, courageous and planful leadership using examples from his highly successful stint as England's men's team manager, but with lessons for any form of leadership.

I suppose 'nice' was the label people put on me in those days, the inference being I was 'too nice to make it'. That just made me dig deeper to prove them wrong - a harder tackle, standing up to bravado, practising for hours on end. And if doing that while showing decency, manners and respect, on and off the pitch, is still 'too nice', then I'm guilty as charged.

But given I went on to represent England more times as a player and manager combined than anyone else in the history of English football, I guess I wasn't too nice to make it. In fact, as I have developed as a leader, the inference in football, and sometimes in life, that in order to have a winning mentality you have to be nasty, aggressive or divisive is exactly the opposite of how I see it — and exactly the opposite of how I was raised to see it.

For me, there were no contradictions between being determined to win, prepared to challenge people and fully capable of making tough decisions while also showing decency and respect for others. On the contrary those values - the values which had been instilled in me all my life - would shape my leadership style and end up giving it strength. They were the place of authenticity from which I would lead.

[Dominic Garvin · Rating 2 out of 5]

No new motivation ideas learnt 🥴

[Gumble's Yard - Golden Reviewer · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I think of legacy, however, I'm aware that there s so much more involved in all of this than silverware. If I refer back to the one-page philosophy' document I set out at he start of my England tenure … it's a useful measure of performance to answer the original questions I posed: Did we create memories that people will remember for ever? Did our players and staff enjoy the journey? Were the perceptions of the England player changed? Did we create a strong and enduring culture? Had we forged a winning team identity? Did we go about things in the right way and were lessons learned for life as well as for football? I'm proud to say that I think we ticked an awful lot of those boxes.

When I look back at my time as England manager, there are other questions I ask myself in areas that also matter to me. How did I make people feel? On and off the pitch, what standards did I set in shaping the values and culture of the team? How did I challenge players to develop and then perform collectively to the best of their abilities? What steps did I take to unite, inspire, support, protect and champion the team so they could play to their strengths? Ultimately, what difference did I make in leading a diverse group of individuals to a point where they had the best possible chance of success in the future?

Surprisingly engaging book which uses autobiographical detail from Southgate’s career as a manager (almost entirely based on his England role but with some early examples from Middlesbrough and the England U-21 set up) to set out Southgate’s management principles. The chapters which roughly proceed chronologically each have a series of abstracted and more general leadership ideas at the end of each chapter.

Some things I liked about the book were:

It is a book that Nicholas Taleb might approve it (or perhaps more not disapprove of) – its focus is very explicitly on process rather than being fooled by random outcomes – and its clear Southgate has an evolving but carefully set and then considered set of leadership principles which lead to partial success rather than being successful and then backfilling the ideas that retrospectively made an achieved success inevitable (this of course in complete contrast to most MBA case studies and books on leadership by successful business leaders). One clear example of this is that he argue strongly that the penalty loss to Italy (including the now infamous choice of young penalty takers some of whom were substituted on at the very last minute and all of who missed) was based on a very worked out strategy which he still believes maximised the chance of success.

As an aside Southgate also emphasises the need for scenario planning to deal with potential outcomes (sending off, going a goal down, playing 10-men, of course penalty shoot outs, set pieces where with perhaps some justification he claims to have pioneered set piece preparation and expertise) framing them as opportunities rather than challenges – but also as a way to prepare for completely unexpected developments (one could say black swans).

It is refreshing and for me at least much more relatable to read a management or sports leadership book by an author who emphasises empathy, decency, doing the right thing and humility and the need to leave a legacy.

If I had criticisms:

The chapter on lessons from COVID seemed awkward to me (and I suspect reading it to Soughgate).

Southgate bridles at the term “Meaningless Friendly” (and what he correctly points out is the way the first word pretty well automatically precedes the second) and, while going out of his ways to not settle scores, the attitude of clubs to player release – but I am strongly of the view that International football needs to be severely curtailed and to competitive games only.

And related to this it is head to relate normal business practice to a role which has an extreme level of random outcome such that process emphasis is the only real way to go – even football club management has a host of outcomes each year (not effectively one every two years) and in almost all business roles the outcomes are much more continuous and ultimate crucial ……… Taleb’s criticism of the MBA approach is more due to the survivorship bias and to underestimating the role of luck in extreme success.

Overall though I found this an excellent book and one I would highly recommend to football loving business leaders.

Like any leader at the end of a journey, I can measure my impact by comparing what the organisation looked like stepped up to how it looked when I stepped down. Fact: it was in a far better place. And if I were remembered as a decent person who led authentically, treated others fairly and did his best for the team and for the nation in his own way, then the fact that I oversaw the best period in English football for more than fifty years would merely be a bonus.

[Becki Dawson-Darby · Rating 5 out of 5]

For years I've been watching England matches and Gareth Southgate on the sideline. I've been intrigued by how he leads and having heard his pre and post match interviews I knew he had many interesting things to say about leadership.

A few years ago I mentioned to my husband that if Southgate wrote a book on leadership I would read it and I'm glad I did.

Southgate gives an honest, insightful and intelligent reflection on his years as England manager. He has always come across as a man who values integrity and resilience and I really enjoyed this up close conversation about his life and lessons in football.

A great read for football fans but also a fantastic read for leaders in any walk of life.

[Katrina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gareth got me back into watching and supporting the men’s team again. His style of leadership is so refreshing in men’s football. In this, he comes across as thoughtful and mostly self-aware, and I think one of the best things to happen to our men’s team.

The only things that jarred with me were his generalisations referring to England’s football history and lack of recent success, without acknowledging/basically erasing the women’s team. And I was a bit unconvinced on his bits around human rights and the 2022 World Cup - the integrity lapsed a bit there and it’s obvious football came first.

But overall, a really good and considered book on leadership and his time as England manager. Definitely someone I look up to as a leader.

[Захарченко Віктор · Rating 5 out of 5]

Коли футбольний менеджер пише книгу про лідерство, це зазвичай означає одне з двох: або спробу виправдати поразки, або бажання капіталізувати на успіхах. Книга Гарета Саутгейта “Dear England: Lessons in Leadership” —інше. Це роздуми людини, яка перетворила найгучнішу невдачу своєї кар’єри на філософію лідерства, що допомогла англійській збірній досягти результатів, яких вона не бачила півстоліття.

Саутгейт не обіцяє формулу перемоги. Натомість він пропонує щось більш практичне: розуміння того, як вести команду під нестерпним тягарем очікувань, як будувати довіру там, де панувала недовіра, і як створити культуру, де люди можуть бути собою, навіть коли на них дивиться ціла нація.

[James Marsh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Part leadership book, part managerial biography from Southgate, which is really exactly what I wanted it to be.

If you've read other leadership books, this one covers a lot of well trodden ground. However, it's enjoyable because the concepts are mapped against Southgate's lived experiences as England manager.

Overall a really interesting insight. Execution could be better at times but I enjoyed it and it was easy to read.

[Seaside Sparkles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book, despite the dad jokes! What an inspirational man and one who understood that his role was so much more than football tactics. Very interesting read how he created a different culture in the FA but also about the impact of the COVID pandemic. I’m looking forward to seeing how his career now develops, he comes across as a kind, creative and innovative man who you would want as a leader.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it - in spite of a lashing by The Guardian's "Bookmarks" feature, I thoroughly enjoyed reading Southgate's thoughts on what makes a great leader - so many useful points to share with my clients. The football anecdotes are fascinating but the teal value for me is those very Lessons in Leadership that we all need to be reminded of.

[Adam Murfet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book on leadership with genuine insight on all things Gareth did to change the culture and perception of the England Team. This is an exceptional read with so many interesting insights. Truly remarkable

[Enda Hackett · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book but abit too much yime dedicated to the covid period. The most successfull England manager in recent memory.

[Eleanor Fox · Rating 5 out of 5]

10/10 am recommending to all my friends

[Rob Mead · Rating 4 out of 5]

An admirable defence of the importance of decency

[Richard O'Hagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was surprised at how much helpful information there is in this.

[Rebecca Lodge · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really really interesting and thoughtful for anyone in any type of leadership