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A Sister to Honor
New from the author of The Lost Daughter
Afia Satar is studious, modest, and devout. The daughter of a landholding family in northern Pakistan, Afia has enrolled in an American college with the dream of returning to her country as a doctor. But when a photo surfaces online of Afia holding hands with an American boy, she is suddenly no longer safe—even from the family that cherishes her.
Rising sports star Shahid Satar has been entrusted by his family to watch over Afia in this strange New England landscape. He has sworn to protect his beloved sister from the dangerous customs of America, from its loose morals and easy virtue. Shahid was the one who convinced their parents to allow her to come to the United States. He never imagined he’d be ordered to cleanse the stain of her shame...
READERS GUIDE INCLUDED
Afia Satar is studious, modest, and devout. The daughter of a landholding family in northern Pakistan, Afia has enrolled in an American college with the dream of returning to her country as a doctor. But when a photo surfaces online of Afia holding hands with an American boy, she is suddenly no longer safe—even from the family that cherishes her.
Rising sports star Shahid Satar has been entrusted by his family to watch over Afia in this strange New England landscape. He has sworn to protect his beloved sister from the dangerous customs of America, from its loose morals and easy virtue. Shahid was the one who convinced their parents to allow her to come to the United States. He never imagined he’d be ordered to cleanse the stain of her shame...
READERS GUIDE INCLUDED
382 pages, Paperback
First published January 6, 2015
25 people are currently reading
1005 people want to read
About the author
Lucy Ferriss
21 books59 followers"Vivid, compelling, as ineluctable as a Greek tragedy." So writes Claire Messud (THE WOMAN UPSTAIRS) of Lucy Ferriss's forthcoming novel, A SISTER TO HONOR.
Born in St. Louis, Lucy has lived on both coasts, in the middle, and abroad. Her recent novel THE LOST DAUGHTER was a Book of the Month pick and a Barnes & Noble bestseller. Her memoir UNVEILING THE PROPHET was named Best Book of the Year by the St. Louis Riverfront Times; her collection LEAVING THE NEIGHBORHOOD won the Mid-List First Series Award. She lives with Don Moon in the Berkshires and in Connecticut, where she is Writer-in-Residence at Trinity College. She has two strong sons and abiding passions for music, politics, travel, tennis, and wilderness. To research A SISTER TO HONOR, she traveled to the northwest provinces of Pakistan and came to know its people, their hopes and their challenges both at home and in America.
Born in St. Louis, Lucy has lived on both coasts, in the middle, and abroad. Her recent novel THE LOST DAUGHTER was a Book of the Month pick and a Barnes & Noble bestseller. Her memoir UNVEILING THE PROPHET was named Best Book of the Year by the St. Louis Riverfront Times; her collection LEAVING THE NEIGHBORHOOD won the Mid-List First Series Award. She lives with Don Moon in the Berkshires and in Connecticut, where she is Writer-in-Residence at Trinity College. She has two strong sons and abiding passions for music, politics, travel, tennis, and wilderness. To research A SISTER TO HONOR, she traveled to the northwest provinces of Pakistan and came to know its people, their hopes and their challenges both at home and in America.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 98 reviews
November 30, 2018
Almost two years back we interview Lucy Ferris for her (then recently) published book "A Sister To honor" (In India with Fingerprint Publishers). As a token of gratitude, we have received a copy of the book. Unfortunately, during that period we shifted job and home so this book got into our storeroom. This Diwali when we cleaned the room, I found this angry lady asking for justification for ignoring her so long. Fun parts, I took this book to my Diwali trip so that can be read with a peaceful mind.
Main characters of the story are Afia and Shahid Satar. As given in blurb, Shahid was having a good rep and challenging career to set his life in the USA. He convinced his family to send Afia for Medical studies to states. Born and brought up in the super suppressed family and culture values Afia found her class and college mates completely opposite. Though her mind showed her fear of strict traditional values, her heart ached for freedom. Things became messy when her parents/family in Pakistan saw her picture holding a hand of an American guy. Her family given Shahid impossible task of honoring family by killing his sister.
I have heard/read/seen (on screen) many cases of hour killing, this story is similar. What makes it different is characterization. How each character feels at the time of such decision, how doting love converts in extreme hate. How culture value overrides normal human feelings. The book required efforts to read it. Those who want light read can skip this book. Those who love to read a deeply narrated story can take it. Read when you can give 100% else you may leave it in between.
I give 3.5 out of 5 stars to the book.
Detailed Review Link - https://chevusread.blogspot.com/2018/...
Main characters of the story are Afia and Shahid Satar. As given in blurb, Shahid was having a good rep and challenging career to set his life in the USA. He convinced his family to send Afia for Medical studies to states. Born and brought up in the super suppressed family and culture values Afia found her class and college mates completely opposite. Though her mind showed her fear of strict traditional values, her heart ached for freedom. Things became messy when her parents/family in Pakistan saw her picture holding a hand of an American guy. Her family given Shahid impossible task of honoring family by killing his sister.
I have heard/read/seen (on screen) many cases of hour killing, this story is similar. What makes it different is characterization. How each character feels at the time of such decision, how doting love converts in extreme hate. How culture value overrides normal human feelings. The book required efforts to read it. Those who want light read can skip this book. Those who love to read a deeply narrated story can take it. Read when you can give 100% else you may leave it in between.
I give 3.5 out of 5 stars to the book.
Detailed Review Link - https://chevusread.blogspot.com/2018/...
February 22, 2017
When this book came up on Fingerprint Publishing’s review copy list, it caught my attention immediately. Honor Killings still happen around here in the Indian Subcontinent and I really wanted an insight as to the whole concept. For me it is difficult to understand really what honor could there be in killing your own children or siblings; and how killing someone could restore the honor of the family. However, once the book arrived it took me sometime to pick it up because on one hand I was sure that this wouldn’t be an easy book to read and on the other hand I wasn’t sure if all the POVs would be included in the book.
Shahid Satar is a star athlete who has come to America for college and with the dream to follow his passion. Once there, he manages to convince his family to send Afia, his sister, for her medical studies as well. As the brother and sister duo settle into their lives in America, little do they know that a small photo in the internet labyrinth could change their lives forever. Calls of honor echo through as Shahid is expected to uphold it by killing his sister for holding hands with an American man.
The author doesn’t waste any time at all as the story starts and the readers fell invested right from the first chapter. The story is narrated from alternating perspectives of a number of characters. As a result the readers have firsthand knowledge of what is going on at both ends and they have the complete picture. It turned out to be as hard a read as I had expected. There were moments when I wanted to scream at certain characters, shake some sense into some others and then there were moments that just left me speechless. The best part of the book is probably the way the author has balanced it. There is no one point in the book where it feels like she is taking a side or that she is trying to say that one party is wrong. She masterfully narrates the story of a family and the people whose lives they touch showing us how each life is affected amidst something like this.
Rich in culture, settings, language and characters, this book is a gem. I would recommend this book to anyone who is ready to take on the book with an open mind and a willingness to really try and understand all the different perspective.
http://www.ddsreviews.in/2017/01/sist...
Shahid Satar is a star athlete who has come to America for college and with the dream to follow his passion. Once there, he manages to convince his family to send Afia, his sister, for her medical studies as well. As the brother and sister duo settle into their lives in America, little do they know that a small photo in the internet labyrinth could change their lives forever. Calls of honor echo through as Shahid is expected to uphold it by killing his sister for holding hands with an American man.
The author doesn’t waste any time at all as the story starts and the readers fell invested right from the first chapter. The story is narrated from alternating perspectives of a number of characters. As a result the readers have firsthand knowledge of what is going on at both ends and they have the complete picture. It turned out to be as hard a read as I had expected. There were moments when I wanted to scream at certain characters, shake some sense into some others and then there were moments that just left me speechless. The best part of the book is probably the way the author has balanced it. There is no one point in the book where it feels like she is taking a side or that she is trying to say that one party is wrong. She masterfully narrates the story of a family and the people whose lives they touch showing us how each life is affected amidst something like this.
Rich in culture, settings, language and characters, this book is a gem. I would recommend this book to anyone who is ready to take on the book with an open mind and a willingness to really try and understand all the different perspective.
http://www.ddsreviews.in/2017/01/sist...
January 12, 2015
"A Sister to Honor" is one of those books that just sucks you in from the very beginning. It is a story of cultural clashes, honor, and family. At the center of the book is Afia, a Pashtun Pakistani woman who comes to Smith College in the United States to study to be a doctor. She falls for a guy in a way that would be totally okay for any American girl to do but for a Pakistani woman brings shame to her family. Shahid, her brother, was supposed to protect her and her dishonor is his to take care of now in order to absolve the shame from their family. This was a very powerful story that had me turning the pages as quickly as I could to see what would happen to Afia.
Afia is a fascinating character. She is torn between two worlds. On one hand, she loves her new found freedom as a college student in America. She struggles between wanting to do all of the things that her new friends do while trying to keep the customs of her family and home country. It is an incredible amount of pressure. I really felt for her throughout the book. It was a little hard for me to understand why she made the choices that she made until the author was able to show just how ingrained some of her beliefs were.
This book had a lot of twists and turns, which I really enjoyed as they kept me on my toes. I love learning about different places and cultures so I liked all of the detail that the author included about where Afia, Shahid, and their other very evil brother, Khalid, came from and what their family life in Pakistan was like.
This is definitely a book that I am going to be thinking about for a long time. The conclusion of the book definitely made me think (and of course, I don't want to give anything away so I will leave it there). This wasn't an easy read in a lot of places due to some of the brutality but I found that the author's detail was necessary in order to really understand what was going on.
Afia is a fascinating character. She is torn between two worlds. On one hand, she loves her new found freedom as a college student in America. She struggles between wanting to do all of the things that her new friends do while trying to keep the customs of her family and home country. It is an incredible amount of pressure. I really felt for her throughout the book. It was a little hard for me to understand why she made the choices that she made until the author was able to show just how ingrained some of her beliefs were.
This book had a lot of twists and turns, which I really enjoyed as they kept me on my toes. I love learning about different places and cultures so I liked all of the detail that the author included about where Afia, Shahid, and their other very evil brother, Khalid, came from and what their family life in Pakistan was like.
This is definitely a book that I am going to be thinking about for a long time. The conclusion of the book definitely made me think (and of course, I don't want to give anything away so I will leave it there). This wasn't an easy read in a lot of places due to some of the brutality but I found that the author's detail was necessary in order to really understand what was going on.
March 8, 2017
One of the differences between an actual book and a kindle is that with an actual book you know how close to the end you are. In this one, the story neared its inevitable climax, I got to the final chapter...and then looked down to see that I was less than 60 percent through. And from there, the plot became wild and unpredictable.
Ferriss takes you inside characters from another culture, another mind set, and makes it comprehensible and even sympathetic, if painful. It's the job of an author of fiction to illuminate the inner lives of other people, and this is such an audacious task that the typical questions -- can a man really create a woman character or vice versa, can a white create a black or vice versa-- pale beside the real challenge, which is to create ANYBODY other than yourself. But this is different I can't imagine creating across this much of a cultural divide. But Ferriss makes it happen.
Ferriss takes you inside characters from another culture, another mind set, and makes it comprehensible and even sympathetic, if painful. It's the job of an author of fiction to illuminate the inner lives of other people, and this is such an audacious task that the typical questions -- can a man really create a woman character or vice versa, can a white create a black or vice versa-- pale beside the real challenge, which is to create ANYBODY other than yourself. But this is different I can't imagine creating across this much of a cultural divide. But Ferriss makes it happen.
July 24, 2017
I have never read any book by Lucy Ferriss before but while browsing through the books published by Fingerprint publishers, one of my favorite publication houses in India, I got to read the title of the book “A Sister To Honour” which made me pick up the book and read it this weekend. The cover page of the book says a lot but its only after you end up reading this almost 400-pages book that you are able to comprehend what this book wanted to let us know. The way author has discussed some contemporary issues through this story is worth-praising. We only hear in news about honour killing etc. but after reading this book, the mentality that few regions, religions, sect etc. has will open your eyes as an individual.
This book is about a Pakistani girl who goes to USA following her brother who is already settled there as a star athlete. She never knew what future had for her. She just wanted to finish her medical studies in this part of the world. But one photograph of her holding hand of an American man that gets posted on Internet changes her life. Even her brother, Shahid, who is expected to save the honour of his sister, is considered a crime-in-partner for not being able to save his sister from getting into such acts. This would have been a normal case for any American girl to do but for a girl belonging from Pakistan primarily, this case leads to investigations and what not.
The way author lets us know the point of view of each character by speaking the story in the first-person voice makes it easy for us, as a reader, to understand the different mindset of people. At some moments, we feel like hitting some character speaking their mind for being so miserable in their thinking and close-mindedness that it becomes hard to accept some truths in the form of this fictional story. The book is nicely written which makes us read every page with details to capture every minute details about the people’s reactions, mindset and thinking.
The first half of the book sets the plot of the book while the second half of the book actually plays the purpose behind writing this novel. The good thing about this attempt is that author has based the whole thing in USA to make the reader understand about how two totally different cultures resides on this same planet itself where something is very casual at one end of the world while it is a crime in the opposite end of it. Such a bold topic is very greatly handled by the author and I give this 4 star out of 5. I would ask everyone to read this book and also ask everyone to read this book in your circle that belongs to such close-minded society. Kudos to the author for attempting something like this. Recommended!
Thanks.
ABHILASH RUHELA!!!
This book is about a Pakistani girl who goes to USA following her brother who is already settled there as a star athlete. She never knew what future had for her. She just wanted to finish her medical studies in this part of the world. But one photograph of her holding hand of an American man that gets posted on Internet changes her life. Even her brother, Shahid, who is expected to save the honour of his sister, is considered a crime-in-partner for not being able to save his sister from getting into such acts. This would have been a normal case for any American girl to do but for a girl belonging from Pakistan primarily, this case leads to investigations and what not.
The way author lets us know the point of view of each character by speaking the story in the first-person voice makes it easy for us, as a reader, to understand the different mindset of people. At some moments, we feel like hitting some character speaking their mind for being so miserable in their thinking and close-mindedness that it becomes hard to accept some truths in the form of this fictional story. The book is nicely written which makes us read every page with details to capture every minute details about the people’s reactions, mindset and thinking.
The first half of the book sets the plot of the book while the second half of the book actually plays the purpose behind writing this novel. The good thing about this attempt is that author has based the whole thing in USA to make the reader understand about how two totally different cultures resides on this same planet itself where something is very casual at one end of the world while it is a crime in the opposite end of it. Such a bold topic is very greatly handled by the author and I give this 4 star out of 5. I would ask everyone to read this book and also ask everyone to read this book in your circle that belongs to such close-minded society. Kudos to the author for attempting something like this. Recommended!
Thanks.
ABHILASH RUHELA!!!
February 11, 2015
The cover to A Sister to Honor is simply beautiful. There is something about the choice of only showing half of her face that made me think that there is some mystery and a story behind her single blue eye. And, once you get to the content it does not disappoint!
Ferriss takes a fictional look into the lives of two Pakistani siblings (Afia and Shahid) who are in America for college. I was sucked in from the very beginning because it delves into a culture I am not too familiar with outside of the negative imagery shown on the news about the Middle East. The author gives us some insight into what it may be like to be a person torn between the cultural norms of your home country and the society where you presently live.
"It was a question Shahid used to talk about with Afia. Did you go away from your people in order to bring the world back to them? Or did you go away to shed the world you once had?
Afia and Shahid's story is one that we could all relate to even if we are still living in our home country. I say that because we have all reached and/or will reach that crossroad where we must make a decision if we are living for our parents and what they expect from us or if we are going to live for ourselves and follow the path to our own happiness. A Sister to Honor touches on many subjects such as the dynamics between siblings, being torn between cultural norms and parental expectations, and ultimately making the decision if you are live your life for you or for others. Ferriss writes a compelling, beautiful, and quite exceptional book and I hope others will take the time to put it on their reading list and give it a chance!
DISCLAIMER: I received a complimentary copy of A Sister to Honor in exchange for an honest review.
Ferriss takes a fictional look into the lives of two Pakistani siblings (Afia and Shahid) who are in America for college. I was sucked in from the very beginning because it delves into a culture I am not too familiar with outside of the negative imagery shown on the news about the Middle East. The author gives us some insight into what it may be like to be a person torn between the cultural norms of your home country and the society where you presently live.
"It was a question Shahid used to talk about with Afia. Did you go away from your people in order to bring the world back to them? Or did you go away to shed the world you once had?
Afia and Shahid's story is one that we could all relate to even if we are still living in our home country. I say that because we have all reached and/or will reach that crossroad where we must make a decision if we are living for our parents and what they expect from us or if we are going to live for ourselves and follow the path to our own happiness. A Sister to Honor touches on many subjects such as the dynamics between siblings, being torn between cultural norms and parental expectations, and ultimately making the decision if you are live your life for you or for others. Ferriss writes a compelling, beautiful, and quite exceptional book and I hope others will take the time to put it on their reading list and give it a chance!
DISCLAIMER: I received a complimentary copy of A Sister to Honor in exchange for an honest review.
December 15, 2015
A SISTER TO HONOR was fantastic. I gained so much insight into the hearts and minds of these Pakistani characters whose beliefs are so different from mine. I liked the pacing of the novel as well -- could not put it down towards the end.
September 13, 2015
Great read with lots of good insights to another culture.
Thoroughly enjoyed it.
Thoroughly enjoyed it.
August 24, 2016
"A Sister to Honor" by Lucy Ferriss was this summer's selection for the Seeking Educational Equity and Diversity book club that I belong to. We had one of the best discussions we have ever had over this book - poignant and thought-provoking! As I read the first three quarters of the book, I was thinking, "Five of five stars for sure!" but as I finished the book, for reasons I will share, I give it four of five stars. With that being said, I couldn't put the book down!
First of all, this is a tremendously important story - one that will get American readers thinking, and attempting to understand, another culture and its complexities. Ferriss' choice to set the story in the United States makes the story especially compelling, as it allows her to juxtapose American culture side by side with the Pashtun culture. For instance, the scene where Khalid, in disguise, watches and contemplates American court proceedings is fascinating. "A Sister to Honor" would have been a completely different story had it been set in Pakistan - and I have read that story before. I learned, however, that knowledge does not necessarily lead to understanding or acceptance - it doesn't for the characters, and it didn't for me. I was furious throughout most of the story! It begs the question, in our attempt to be open to other cultures, is there a line that won't be crossed in terms of our own values and beliefs - for instance, in the case of things like of honor killing and female genital mutilation?
In terms of plot, the story is compelling and complex. Ferriss' choice to tell the story from multiple viewpoints allows the reader to see all sides of this complex, tenuous, and volatile situation. The choice to set the story within the world of college squash is also unusual and interesting. I bought it all, but the ending seemed overly long and complex, and stretches believability at times. (The whole taking Khalid out with a squash ball was way over the top, for instance.) On the other hand, as I said before, the plot is so compelling that it is difficult to stop reading.
Character development is uneven. Most compelling is Afia's character arc. Her situation is simply impossible. I had so much compassion and empathy for her. She shows the reader the power of young love, how women are treated in her culture, and the difficulty of the two cultures coexisting. She is a smart, hard-working young woman who has so much to give to the world. Shahid, too, is in an impossible situation. He is pulled by two cultures and his love for his sister. Khalid proves an interesting antagonist - one with whom the reader might develop some compassion, which makes him particularly interesting. Again, he puts himself in an impossible situation. The character of Lissy is the character with whom I had the most difficulty. First of all, I could not see her in my mind's eye as I read. The author could do more for us in this regard. Lissy seems too old to have a three year old. On the other hand, she has achieved much in her career (athletic director of Enright University and head coach of the squash teams) to be so young. Also, she doesn't seem to develop much in terms of her understanding of Shahid and Afia's culture and how it impacts them, and in terms of her own self- involvement (it's really about competition and winning in the end, not honor). However, Lissy provides a nice contrast to most Pashtun women. In fact, Shahid, Afia, and Khalid think of her as a kind of freak. Her husband, Ethan, is also problematic. For a psychologist, he doesn't seem to have much of a sense of the situation with Shahid and Afia and the danger they are both in. Finally, Gus is a character I loved at first. He seems genuine in his love of Afia. However, his understanding of himself, and of Afia and Shahid's culture, doesn't seem to develop in the story. He doesn't seem too broken up about what happens to Shahid, or when he and Afia break up. He also doesn't seem to have a healthy fear about the things that happen to him, or about what could happen to him. Part of the problem may be that we never see things from his point of view, only what others see of him.
The thematic framework of the story - the idea of HONOR - is strong throughout "A Sister to Honor." Clearly, the idea of HONOR has many different and powerful interpretations. Lissy tells her team on page 13, "Honor...is one of the oldest concepts we have, It comes before love. It comes before victory. It comes from the same Latin-French root as honesty...What else makes for honor?...winning...courage...integrity...the team...loyalty..." Though this is a worthy idea, compared to the idea of honor in the Pashtun culture, it seems trivial. Afia says on pages 112-113, "'Honor...is not just the greatest thing, for Pashtuns. It is really the only thing. And however you might think it stupid, Gus, I am...my family's honor. Without it, they more rather I be dead. And maybe I more rather, too.'" Shahid tells his coach on page 173, "'You give us that talk about honor, Coach. Every year I listen to it. But not once do I hear you mention the honor of a family. The honor that is a woman's duty.'" In addition to honor, there are many other big ideas significant to the story - the treatment of women, violence against women, hypocrisy, diversity, what love means, the relationship between Americans and Pakistanis, the meaning and significance of family, shame, the idea of cleanliness and purity, the increasing conservatism in places like Pakistan, etc.
p. 67 - "Did you go away from your people in order to bring the world back to them? Or did you go away to shed the world you once had?" (To me this is a central question in this story.)
p. 74 - "'It is good to know your enemy in their own country.'"
p. 78-9 - "Since they were little, Afia had been his sole confidante. She was smarter than he, and she knew she could contribute to the world. He had only to protect her - from the men in America, yes, but also from these men, from men who chuckled over Tayab's dead daughters, from his family who could not comprehend what things were like, somewhere else."
p. 112 - "'What do we know of marriage? This is something...our parents know of. This is why in this country you have everyone divorce. Because no one wise is choosing a partner. It is all romance, all love.'"
p. 123 - Afran says, "'Look. If I could get someone to cut out whatever central lobe is all about the Prophet's commands, and what you can do and what you can't and how big a deal a girl's hymen is...I'd do it. Bingo. Like that...Do I care about purity of marriage? No. I want to get laid.'"
p. 123 - Afran says, "'So what would you rather?...A girl suffers because some guy toyed with her feelings? Or because her dad locked a door and lit a match?'"
p. 150 - "They could talk all they wanted, in this country, about the tough time women had in Shahid's culture. Shame was still shame, and left him whose honor had been pulled out from under him drowning and all alone."
p. 181 - "He would succeed, eventually, just as the proverb said: Revenge took a hundred years, because I was impatient."
p. 184 - Afia thinks, "She still felt Shahid's arms against her back, his breath on her shoulder. It was all she needed: to know he loved her. He could not hate her, no matter how tora she became, no matter how stained. He was simply obeying Baba. He was doing what brothers must do. Only she could save him from his awful duty."
p. 194 - "'...when a girl marries. We call it gham. A sorrow...Because your family, they lose you forever. You belong now with your husband. His family.'"
p. 196 - Coach Lissy says to Afia, "'A team...is about honor. Honor as loyalty, as respect, as honesty. I have always respected your brother. I am trying to be loyal to him, honest with him. And you. But you both make it very, very difficult...It's all right. I made a choice. But I had to say that. Your people are not the only ones concerned with honor.'"
p. 204 - "You couldn't kill what you loved. She didn't give a shit about cultural difference. You couldn't do it and be human."
p. 205 - Coach tells her players, "'When you're loyal to something that's rotten, it rots your loyalty.'"
p. 222 - "Shame casts a wide net."
p.227 - Afia's friends at Smith ask her, "'Let me get this straight...You've never kissed a guy, no guy has ever touched you anywhere under your clothes. But the very first night you meet this man someone else picked out for you, you're going to have sex with him.'"
p. 234 - "Amazing how you could set aside what didn't bear thinking about."
p. 253 - "There they all were, dancing in the flames behind the door of the woodstove, where Afia could not reach or touch them. Why had she ever left? To become a doctor. But no doctor could bring back Tayyab's dead daughters. No doctor could heal Lema's face or bring back the mischief that once warmed her smile."
p. 276 - "She would never be a doctor now. She would help no one. She had brought death and shame; now she had nothing but death and shame to offer. If they woudl let her, she thought in the wee hours of the night, under the light they never turned off, she would take poison and be rid of herself."
p. 301 - "No one lived long without a family."
p. 312 - Farishta thinks, "Others had their grief pure; hers was adulterated by failure. For it is from the mother that the daughter learns. When a girl heaps shame on her family, it is her mother who has left the door open, who allowed this shame to enter."
p. 321 - Baba says, "'A mother loves her children because it is in her nature. She cannot do otherwise. A father loves his sons because they will carry on his family; they will make him proud. But when a father loves a daughter, he loves what will only cost him, and what he is fated to lose. And yet he loves her without condition. That is the greatest love in the world.'"
p. 327 - "A woman without a family was nothing."
p. 337 - Afia tells Khalid, "'I cannot regret the things I did for their own sake. I am not a believer in that regard. I have studied biology, and we are biological creatures, we feel these desires as other creatures do, and I do not find a place where the Prophet, peace be unto him, ever said we should not feel such things...when you are in love you forget what you do in private does not create a world. The world is the world and you are in it.'"
p. 355 - Afran says, "'The rule...is you don't just punish the girl. Not if you want a clean slate. The guy has to go, too. Even if they're not...you know. The fact is that it happened. To make it unhappen, you've got to go after everyone.'"
p. 372 - Coach says, "'Romance...may not be the best foundation for marriage. But people fall in love everywhere, Afia. Here and in Pakistan, and now and since forever. Sometimes it's great and sometimes it hurts like hell. But it's the opposite of a betrayal. It's a kind of...of keeping faith. With the heart.'"
One should also mention that the writer is white and not Pashtun or Muslim. Though, in this novel she writes both white and Pakistani characters, some might object to this fact.
This book is highly recommended. This is definitely a crossover title ("new-adult" fiction), appropriate for mature teens and up. The central characters are college age. There are two graphic, though not gratuitous sex scenes, as well as some language.
First of all, this is a tremendously important story - one that will get American readers thinking, and attempting to understand, another culture and its complexities. Ferriss' choice to set the story in the United States makes the story especially compelling, as it allows her to juxtapose American culture side by side with the Pashtun culture. For instance, the scene where Khalid, in disguise, watches and contemplates American court proceedings is fascinating. "A Sister to Honor" would have been a completely different story had it been set in Pakistan - and I have read that story before. I learned, however, that knowledge does not necessarily lead to understanding or acceptance - it doesn't for the characters, and it didn't for me. I was furious throughout most of the story! It begs the question, in our attempt to be open to other cultures, is there a line that won't be crossed in terms of our own values and beliefs - for instance, in the case of things like of honor killing and female genital mutilation?
In terms of plot, the story is compelling and complex. Ferriss' choice to tell the story from multiple viewpoints allows the reader to see all sides of this complex, tenuous, and volatile situation. The choice to set the story within the world of college squash is also unusual and interesting. I bought it all, but the ending seemed overly long and complex, and stretches believability at times. (The whole taking Khalid out with a squash ball was way over the top, for instance.) On the other hand, as I said before, the plot is so compelling that it is difficult to stop reading.
Character development is uneven. Most compelling is Afia's character arc. Her situation is simply impossible. I had so much compassion and empathy for her. She shows the reader the power of young love, how women are treated in her culture, and the difficulty of the two cultures coexisting. She is a smart, hard-working young woman who has so much to give to the world. Shahid, too, is in an impossible situation. He is pulled by two cultures and his love for his sister. Khalid proves an interesting antagonist - one with whom the reader might develop some compassion, which makes him particularly interesting. Again, he puts himself in an impossible situation. The character of Lissy is the character with whom I had the most difficulty. First of all, I could not see her in my mind's eye as I read. The author could do more for us in this regard. Lissy seems too old to have a three year old. On the other hand, she has achieved much in her career (athletic director of Enright University and head coach of the squash teams) to be so young. Also, she doesn't seem to develop much in terms of her understanding of Shahid and Afia's culture and how it impacts them, and in terms of her own self- involvement (it's really about competition and winning in the end, not honor). However, Lissy provides a nice contrast to most Pashtun women. In fact, Shahid, Afia, and Khalid think of her as a kind of freak. Her husband, Ethan, is also problematic. For a psychologist, he doesn't seem to have much of a sense of the situation with Shahid and Afia and the danger they are both in. Finally, Gus is a character I loved at first. He seems genuine in his love of Afia. However, his understanding of himself, and of Afia and Shahid's culture, doesn't seem to develop in the story. He doesn't seem too broken up about what happens to Shahid, or when he and Afia break up. He also doesn't seem to have a healthy fear about the things that happen to him, or about what could happen to him. Part of the problem may be that we never see things from his point of view, only what others see of him.
The thematic framework of the story - the idea of HONOR - is strong throughout "A Sister to Honor." Clearly, the idea of HONOR has many different and powerful interpretations. Lissy tells her team on page 13, "Honor...is one of the oldest concepts we have, It comes before love. It comes before victory. It comes from the same Latin-French root as honesty...What else makes for honor?...winning...courage...integrity...the team...loyalty..." Though this is a worthy idea, compared to the idea of honor in the Pashtun culture, it seems trivial. Afia says on pages 112-113, "'Honor...is not just the greatest thing, for Pashtuns. It is really the only thing. And however you might think it stupid, Gus, I am...my family's honor. Without it, they more rather I be dead. And maybe I more rather, too.'" Shahid tells his coach on page 173, "'You give us that talk about honor, Coach. Every year I listen to it. But not once do I hear you mention the honor of a family. The honor that is a woman's duty.'" In addition to honor, there are many other big ideas significant to the story - the treatment of women, violence against women, hypocrisy, diversity, what love means, the relationship between Americans and Pakistanis, the meaning and significance of family, shame, the idea of cleanliness and purity, the increasing conservatism in places like Pakistan, etc.
p. 67 - "Did you go away from your people in order to bring the world back to them? Or did you go away to shed the world you once had?" (To me this is a central question in this story.)
p. 74 - "'It is good to know your enemy in their own country.'"
p. 78-9 - "Since they were little, Afia had been his sole confidante. She was smarter than he, and she knew she could contribute to the world. He had only to protect her - from the men in America, yes, but also from these men, from men who chuckled over Tayab's dead daughters, from his family who could not comprehend what things were like, somewhere else."
p. 112 - "'What do we know of marriage? This is something...our parents know of. This is why in this country you have everyone divorce. Because no one wise is choosing a partner. It is all romance, all love.'"
p. 123 - Afran says, "'Look. If I could get someone to cut out whatever central lobe is all about the Prophet's commands, and what you can do and what you can't and how big a deal a girl's hymen is...I'd do it. Bingo. Like that...Do I care about purity of marriage? No. I want to get laid.'"
p. 123 - Afran says, "'So what would you rather?...A girl suffers because some guy toyed with her feelings? Or because her dad locked a door and lit a match?'"
p. 150 - "They could talk all they wanted, in this country, about the tough time women had in Shahid's culture. Shame was still shame, and left him whose honor had been pulled out from under him drowning and all alone."
p. 181 - "He would succeed, eventually, just as the proverb said: Revenge took a hundred years, because I was impatient."
p. 184 - Afia thinks, "She still felt Shahid's arms against her back, his breath on her shoulder. It was all she needed: to know he loved her. He could not hate her, no matter how tora she became, no matter how stained. He was simply obeying Baba. He was doing what brothers must do. Only she could save him from his awful duty."
p. 194 - "'...when a girl marries. We call it gham. A sorrow...Because your family, they lose you forever. You belong now with your husband. His family.'"
p. 196 - Coach Lissy says to Afia, "'A team...is about honor. Honor as loyalty, as respect, as honesty. I have always respected your brother. I am trying to be loyal to him, honest with him. And you. But you both make it very, very difficult...It's all right. I made a choice. But I had to say that. Your people are not the only ones concerned with honor.'"
p. 204 - "You couldn't kill what you loved. She didn't give a shit about cultural difference. You couldn't do it and be human."
p. 205 - Coach tells her players, "'When you're loyal to something that's rotten, it rots your loyalty.'"
p. 222 - "Shame casts a wide net."
p.227 - Afia's friends at Smith ask her, "'Let me get this straight...You've never kissed a guy, no guy has ever touched you anywhere under your clothes. But the very first night you meet this man someone else picked out for you, you're going to have sex with him.'"
p. 234 - "Amazing how you could set aside what didn't bear thinking about."
p. 253 - "There they all were, dancing in the flames behind the door of the woodstove, where Afia could not reach or touch them. Why had she ever left? To become a doctor. But no doctor could bring back Tayyab's dead daughters. No doctor could heal Lema's face or bring back the mischief that once warmed her smile."
p. 276 - "She would never be a doctor now. She would help no one. She had brought death and shame; now she had nothing but death and shame to offer. If they woudl let her, she thought in the wee hours of the night, under the light they never turned off, she would take poison and be rid of herself."
p. 301 - "No one lived long without a family."
p. 312 - Farishta thinks, "Others had their grief pure; hers was adulterated by failure. For it is from the mother that the daughter learns. When a girl heaps shame on her family, it is her mother who has left the door open, who allowed this shame to enter."
p. 321 - Baba says, "'A mother loves her children because it is in her nature. She cannot do otherwise. A father loves his sons because they will carry on his family; they will make him proud. But when a father loves a daughter, he loves what will only cost him, and what he is fated to lose. And yet he loves her without condition. That is the greatest love in the world.'"
p. 327 - "A woman without a family was nothing."
p. 337 - Afia tells Khalid, "'I cannot regret the things I did for their own sake. I am not a believer in that regard. I have studied biology, and we are biological creatures, we feel these desires as other creatures do, and I do not find a place where the Prophet, peace be unto him, ever said we should not feel such things...when you are in love you forget what you do in private does not create a world. The world is the world and you are in it.'"
p. 355 - Afran says, "'The rule...is you don't just punish the girl. Not if you want a clean slate. The guy has to go, too. Even if they're not...you know. The fact is that it happened. To make it unhappen, you've got to go after everyone.'"
p. 372 - Coach says, "'Romance...may not be the best foundation for marriage. But people fall in love everywhere, Afia. Here and in Pakistan, and now and since forever. Sometimes it's great and sometimes it hurts like hell. But it's the opposite of a betrayal. It's a kind of...of keeping faith. With the heart.'"
One should also mention that the writer is white and not Pashtun or Muslim. Though, in this novel she writes both white and Pakistani characters, some might object to this fact.
This book is highly recommended. This is definitely a crossover title ("new-adult" fiction), appropriate for mature teens and up. The central characters are college age. There are two graphic, though not gratuitous sex scenes, as well as some language.
January 15, 2015
Afia and her brother Shahid have come to America from Pakistan. Shahid came first to play squash in college. He then convinced his family in Pakistan that sending his sister to complete her studies and become a doctor was the best thing for their family. Shahid promised to protect her and protect their family honor. Shahid was busy with his own studies, working toward his future coaching career at Harvard, and his squash matches that he missed Afia, off at another college, living a bit more Americanized than his family would have liked. Soon a photo appears on the college webpage of Afia holding hands with an American man. Word travels back to Pakistan and their family's honor is immediately in jeopardy. How did the family find out so quickly about the photo? Shahid is expected to take care of this situation, but can he do what is expected of him?
Understanding the culture, religion and honor code of families in Pakistan is central to this novel. Ferriss does an excellent job of displaying the American's inability to grasp this strict honor code and Shahid and Afia's need to maintain it even while here in the United States. This clash of cultures causes numerous problems not only for Afia and Shahid, but for their American friends as well. Nothing in the novel was unbelievable and sadly, I'm sure there was a lot of truth to the situations that played out in Afia and Shahid's story.
A story like this is eye-opening for those of us who cannot comprehend that type of honor code and rules that are expected to be followed. When those rules are broken, the ripple effects through the community back home and for the family can be life-changing. Reading Afia's struggle over the decision to do what is right for her family and country and doing what she wanted to do was heartbreaking. It is something that most of us born and raised in the Midwest could never understand. I find reading and learning about other cultures fascinating. The expectations and rules for women, especially in Islamic countries, remind me to appreciate the freedoms and opportunities I have here in America.
This conversation between Coach Hayes and her husband about Shahid gives a glimpse into that honor code:
"What difference did you want him to see?
"The one between quilt and shame."
"Would it be sinful for Afia to have a boyfriend,
or just shameful if people knew about it?"
Page 60
I found each of the characters realistic whether they were in America or Pakistan. Shahid's relationship with his coach and mentor, Lissy Hayes and Afia's romantic relationship with Gus were well-developed and their personalities jumped off the pages. Afia’s personal struggle between remaining covered to honor her family, yet wanting to wear American clothing in order to fit in were understandable. The author even described the first tastes of American food, like Afia’s first burger and her struggle with making one for the first time. The characters became real and allowed the reader to become invested and root for them when life became difficult.
The beginning of the novel started slowly for me as the story began in Pakistan with names of people and places that were difficult to keep track of. The family relationships were confusing and a family tree would have helped keep everyone straight. Eventually, the important characters emerged and when the following chapters took the story to America, it became easier to follow.
Once you reach a third of the way into the novel it will be difficult to put down. You will find yourself in shock and incredulous to what is unfolding on the pages in front of you. There were a few times I expected the story to go in one direction and then it lead me in a completely different one. This book is a page-turner all the way to the very end. Even with an ending that leaves you a little unsatisfied, you still find yourself satiated with a story full of twists and turns, love, romance, family, and forgiveness. All of these are keys to a great story and A SISTER TO HONOR is one you will be compelled to finish quickly.
Understanding the culture, religion and honor code of families in Pakistan is central to this novel. Ferriss does an excellent job of displaying the American's inability to grasp this strict honor code and Shahid and Afia's need to maintain it even while here in the United States. This clash of cultures causes numerous problems not only for Afia and Shahid, but for their American friends as well. Nothing in the novel was unbelievable and sadly, I'm sure there was a lot of truth to the situations that played out in Afia and Shahid's story.
A story like this is eye-opening for those of us who cannot comprehend that type of honor code and rules that are expected to be followed. When those rules are broken, the ripple effects through the community back home and for the family can be life-changing. Reading Afia's struggle over the decision to do what is right for her family and country and doing what she wanted to do was heartbreaking. It is something that most of us born and raised in the Midwest could never understand. I find reading and learning about other cultures fascinating. The expectations and rules for women, especially in Islamic countries, remind me to appreciate the freedoms and opportunities I have here in America.
This conversation between Coach Hayes and her husband about Shahid gives a glimpse into that honor code:
"What difference did you want him to see?
"The one between quilt and shame."
"Would it be sinful for Afia to have a boyfriend,
or just shameful if people knew about it?"
Page 60
I found each of the characters realistic whether they were in America or Pakistan. Shahid's relationship with his coach and mentor, Lissy Hayes and Afia's romantic relationship with Gus were well-developed and their personalities jumped off the pages. Afia’s personal struggle between remaining covered to honor her family, yet wanting to wear American clothing in order to fit in were understandable. The author even described the first tastes of American food, like Afia’s first burger and her struggle with making one for the first time. The characters became real and allowed the reader to become invested and root for them when life became difficult.
The beginning of the novel started slowly for me as the story began in Pakistan with names of people and places that were difficult to keep track of. The family relationships were confusing and a family tree would have helped keep everyone straight. Eventually, the important characters emerged and when the following chapters took the story to America, it became easier to follow.
Once you reach a third of the way into the novel it will be difficult to put down. You will find yourself in shock and incredulous to what is unfolding on the pages in front of you. There were a few times I expected the story to go in one direction and then it lead me in a completely different one. This book is a page-turner all the way to the very end. Even with an ending that leaves you a little unsatisfied, you still find yourself satiated with a story full of twists and turns, love, romance, family, and forgiveness. All of these are keys to a great story and A SISTER TO HONOR is one you will be compelled to finish quickly.
January 4, 2015
Shahid Satar is a rising star in the squash world, having won a scholarship to play squash at an American University. With the costs of his University education being covered by a rich, childless uncle, Shahid focuses on his studies and his sport with an unwavering concentration.
His sister, Afia, studious and modest, wants nothing more than to study to become a doctor in America with her brother. As a woman in northern Pakistan her educational options are quite limited if she stays at home. The decision is made to send Afia to America and Shahid is charged with looking after his sister and protecting the family honor by ensuring that Afia remains chaste.
When a photo surfaces online of Afia holding hands with an American boy her honor is called into question, as well as the honor of her whole family, and she is no longer safe- not even from the family that claims to love her.
I've always enjoyed reading about other cultures and the ways that they do things. I think that it is the differences between us that makes life so interesting! I found A Sister to Honor fascinating. The author Lucy Ferriss went to great lengths to ensure that her portrayal of a culture so different from her own was accurate, even travelling to the provinces of northern Pakistan and getting to know them as a people. As a result the book had a very authentic feel to it and I was alternately fascinated and horrified by how women are treated in that particular area. Both aspects of this culture were expressed in a particularly poignant portion of the book when Afia and Shahid return home for a family wedding. On one hand the women come together in their traditions and bond before the wedding, yet while Afia is at the wedding she discovers that a formerly close friend was mutilated by her own family for putting the family's honor at risk. It is such a fascinating contrast and one that I would be interested in finding out more about.
Author Ferriss manages to shock me as well. There is a scene in the book that floored me, one that I was absolutely not expecting and it horrified me. Ferriss has a gift for creating characters that make us feel something, from the wide-eyed innocent to the sinister half-brother with something to prove.
A Sister to Honor felt authentic and it made me appreciate the fact that I live in a culture that allows me to be me. It managed to be emotional and tragic and eye-opening and humbling all at the same time. Ferriss certainly has a gift for drawing her readers into a story and not releasing them until long after the last page has been read. A Sister to Honor and its message is something that will stay with me for quite some time. My thanks to the publisher and to Netgalley for providing me with a review copy.
His sister, Afia, studious and modest, wants nothing more than to study to become a doctor in America with her brother. As a woman in northern Pakistan her educational options are quite limited if she stays at home. The decision is made to send Afia to America and Shahid is charged with looking after his sister and protecting the family honor by ensuring that Afia remains chaste.
When a photo surfaces online of Afia holding hands with an American boy her honor is called into question, as well as the honor of her whole family, and she is no longer safe- not even from the family that claims to love her.
I've always enjoyed reading about other cultures and the ways that they do things. I think that it is the differences between us that makes life so interesting! I found A Sister to Honor fascinating. The author Lucy Ferriss went to great lengths to ensure that her portrayal of a culture so different from her own was accurate, even travelling to the provinces of northern Pakistan and getting to know them as a people. As a result the book had a very authentic feel to it and I was alternately fascinated and horrified by how women are treated in that particular area. Both aspects of this culture were expressed in a particularly poignant portion of the book when Afia and Shahid return home for a family wedding. On one hand the women come together in their traditions and bond before the wedding, yet while Afia is at the wedding she discovers that a formerly close friend was mutilated by her own family for putting the family's honor at risk. It is such a fascinating contrast and one that I would be interested in finding out more about.
Author Ferriss manages to shock me as well. There is a scene in the book that floored me, one that I was absolutely not expecting and it horrified me. Ferriss has a gift for creating characters that make us feel something, from the wide-eyed innocent to the sinister half-brother with something to prove.
A Sister to Honor felt authentic and it made me appreciate the fact that I live in a culture that allows me to be me. It managed to be emotional and tragic and eye-opening and humbling all at the same time. Ferriss certainly has a gift for drawing her readers into a story and not releasing them until long after the last page has been read. A Sister to Honor and its message is something that will stay with me for quite some time. My thanks to the publisher and to Netgalley for providing me with a review copy.
July 15, 2017
The story is about a Pakistani girl who goes to The United States to pursue her career in medical profession, and how she ends up in the midst of culture, family and honour crisis. You need to read the book to know if she is successful in becoming a doctor which she dreamt about.
The story is 388 pages long but each page is a thrill to read. Lucy has divided the story in 32 chapters, so if you are like me, you would finish the book in a month’s time. I read one chapter every day and couldn’t wait to read the next one.
Though the story is a fiction, Lucy has researched her subject very well and brings reality to her words. It’s a showcase of Pakistan’s Pashtuni culture to the world. Each character has been thought about in detail and when one reads each page, one can visualise each character as to how each one looks. Afia, the main lead, is beautiful to look at, so is Gus, the love of her life. Shahid, her real brother is physically fit and has broad shoulders, perfect for a squash player. Khalid, her step brother is intense and rough, and fits in the villainous role to the core.
Even the supporting characters, Farishta, Afia’s mom, while one reads, one can visualise her plight when she sees her daughter in the face of death, then Coach Hayes, one can understand her feelings for Shahid and Afia and how she is stuck emotionally between these two and her husband Ethan. Ethan’s character is of a cool and understanding husband, one can imagine his expressions, his fear, his care towards her wife and daughter.
The story is fast paced, thriller to the core, it has romance, it has action, it has suspense, it has the occasional twist in tale, there are quite a number of characters in the story, but none of them seem to be added just for the sake of it, each one has a specific role to play, each one more important than the other.
It is a beautiful, thought provoking book, which will make you feel scared at times when you imagine if all this could be real, it is a book which will make you want to change things in the world, it is a book which will make you want Afia and her love to be together, it is a book which will want you to make the villain Khalid understand a few things in life, it is a story which you will feel, the world still needs to change a lot more, for the better!
I would recommend the book to anyone and everyone, Lucy has used a plain simple language to pen her words, and the story moves in a smooth and discreet manner.
Lucy has even added a few pages towards the end for discussion, that is very clever of her since this is one book which might be open to debate and controversy. She clarifies in these pages some of the questions which might arise in the mind of the reader.
The story is 388 pages long but each page is a thrill to read. Lucy has divided the story in 32 chapters, so if you are like me, you would finish the book in a month’s time. I read one chapter every day and couldn’t wait to read the next one.
Though the story is a fiction, Lucy has researched her subject very well and brings reality to her words. It’s a showcase of Pakistan’s Pashtuni culture to the world. Each character has been thought about in detail and when one reads each page, one can visualise each character as to how each one looks. Afia, the main lead, is beautiful to look at, so is Gus, the love of her life. Shahid, her real brother is physically fit and has broad shoulders, perfect for a squash player. Khalid, her step brother is intense and rough, and fits in the villainous role to the core.
Even the supporting characters, Farishta, Afia’s mom, while one reads, one can visualise her plight when she sees her daughter in the face of death, then Coach Hayes, one can understand her feelings for Shahid and Afia and how she is stuck emotionally between these two and her husband Ethan. Ethan’s character is of a cool and understanding husband, one can imagine his expressions, his fear, his care towards her wife and daughter.
The story is fast paced, thriller to the core, it has romance, it has action, it has suspense, it has the occasional twist in tale, there are quite a number of characters in the story, but none of them seem to be added just for the sake of it, each one has a specific role to play, each one more important than the other.
It is a beautiful, thought provoking book, which will make you feel scared at times when you imagine if all this could be real, it is a book which will make you want to change things in the world, it is a book which will make you want Afia and her love to be together, it is a book which will want you to make the villain Khalid understand a few things in life, it is a story which you will feel, the world still needs to change a lot more, for the better!
I would recommend the book to anyone and everyone, Lucy has used a plain simple language to pen her words, and the story moves in a smooth and discreet manner.
Lucy has even added a few pages towards the end for discussion, that is very clever of her since this is one book which might be open to debate and controversy. She clarifies in these pages some of the questions which might arise in the mind of the reader.
January 3, 2016
In many ways, this is my kind of book: fiction, but I can learn from the different characters' cultures, histories, lives, etc. The story is also nicely paced, somewhat like a mystery: each chapter gives the reader just enough information, but leaves a bit of a cliff hanger, so you keep reading, just to find out what happens next. I will admit I raced through the last half of the book, because I wanted to see how it would turn out.
But it's not technically a mystery, because we readers know what's happening (no spoilers). The trick here is that each part is told from one character or another's point of view. So, how A understands the events is not how B understands them. Ferriss makes a good stab at trying to get inside the heads of a very wide array of characters: a dynamic female athletic director and squash coach; a modest, bright Pakistani girl who's had little experience with the world; a young male college student who's in love and whose hormones are racing; a Pakistani squash star/student who is trying to straddle two worlds; a Pakistani mother who feels responsibility for all her children; a Muslim extremist who bears some grudges, etc. Ferriss also withholds information until needed. We readers don't get certain backstories until quite late in the book. But that's fine: it fits the story line.
The book is very current. We in the West are trying to understand the changes in Muslim countries, while these events continue to affect us every day. There is a lot to discuss here: The lives of international students who struggle in two cultures; religious tolerance; women's roles; sexuality; family; the role of sports in American college culture.....and I could go on. To me, the mark of a good book is when I think about it even when I am not reading it (or I've finished). That certainly happened here.
I usually reserve five stars for books I love; I liked this one a lot, but I wouldn't classify it as one I love. For one thing, I wasn't that interested in all the squash scenes (I don't know the game at all), and I thought the sex scenes were somewhat gratuitous. I also didn't understand how Afia could be working a Big Y (supermarket--yes, it's a chain, at least here in New England). She would not be legally allowed to work , as an international student, and I doubt a manager in a chain supermarket would hire someone under the table. But overall, I did enjoy the book very much and I continue to think about it.
But it's not technically a mystery, because we readers know what's happening (no spoilers). The trick here is that each part is told from one character or another's point of view. So, how A understands the events is not how B understands them. Ferriss makes a good stab at trying to get inside the heads of a very wide array of characters: a dynamic female athletic director and squash coach; a modest, bright Pakistani girl who's had little experience with the world; a young male college student who's in love and whose hormones are racing; a Pakistani squash star/student who is trying to straddle two worlds; a Pakistani mother who feels responsibility for all her children; a Muslim extremist who bears some grudges, etc. Ferriss also withholds information until needed. We readers don't get certain backstories until quite late in the book. But that's fine: it fits the story line.
The book is very current. We in the West are trying to understand the changes in Muslim countries, while these events continue to affect us every day. There is a lot to discuss here: The lives of international students who struggle in two cultures; religious tolerance; women's roles; sexuality; family; the role of sports in American college culture.....and I could go on. To me, the mark of a good book is when I think about it even when I am not reading it (or I've finished). That certainly happened here.
I usually reserve five stars for books I love; I liked this one a lot, but I wouldn't classify it as one I love. For one thing, I wasn't that interested in all the squash scenes (I don't know the game at all), and I thought the sex scenes were somewhat gratuitous. I also didn't understand how Afia could be working a Big Y (supermarket--yes, it's a chain, at least here in New England). She would not be legally allowed to work , as an international student, and I doubt a manager in a chain supermarket would hire someone under the table. But overall, I did enjoy the book very much and I continue to think about it.
May 26, 2016
I was initially very interested in the subject matter of this book until I realized how heavily it revolved around sports. I have zero interest in reading about sports even if it is just squash. That said, my interest in learning more about the relationships amongst families within a Pakistani framework beat out my disinterest in sports.
I was also hesitant to read this as it is a fictional account of Pakistani values and religion as told by a middle aged, white, academic woman. I wasn't sure how well she could convincing write in the voice of a young Northern Pakistani male who happens to be the main character.
The author pulls this off with amazing success. Not once did I find myself questioning the voice of any of the male characters, and there are many as this is a male-centric narrative. She also manages to create very complex females that do not feel like stereotypes. The female coach, another main character, was a new type of character for me and her relationship with her husband and the all male squash team was compelling.
So, this novel, although very fresh with regard to issues of gender issues, terrorism, international policy and of course, love, is very old fashioned. It is full of all those marvelous turns and tropes of the best Shakespearian and Greek tragedies. It has forbidden love, family feuds, mistaken identity, loss and tragedy.
It is very slow paced and well written. Much of the action occurs gradually. This isn't a book for someone wanting a quick read. I found myself frequently pausing to consider the characters and the repercussion of their actions while reading and long after finishing the book. It is a book that asks you to think. I like that.
I was also hesitant to read this as it is a fictional account of Pakistani values and religion as told by a middle aged, white, academic woman. I wasn't sure how well she could convincing write in the voice of a young Northern Pakistani male who happens to be the main character.
The author pulls this off with amazing success. Not once did I find myself questioning the voice of any of the male characters, and there are many as this is a male-centric narrative. She also manages to create very complex females that do not feel like stereotypes. The female coach, another main character, was a new type of character for me and her relationship with her husband and the all male squash team was compelling.
So, this novel, although very fresh with regard to issues of gender issues, terrorism, international policy and of course, love, is very old fashioned. It is full of all those marvelous turns and tropes of the best Shakespearian and Greek tragedies. It has forbidden love, family feuds, mistaken identity, loss and tragedy.
It is very slow paced and well written. Much of the action occurs gradually. This isn't a book for someone wanting a quick read. I found myself frequently pausing to consider the characters and the repercussion of their actions while reading and long after finishing the book. It is a book that asks you to think. I like that.
May 23, 2016
Trochu jsem doufala v happyend, kór když je kniha z takového prostředí, z jakého je. Jenže to by hlavní hrdinka nemohla být tak oddaná Alláhovi a nemohla by myslet na nic jiného než na modlení a na to, že se svou láskou vzpírá rodině. I ten Chálid mi ke konci přišel sympatický a rozpoznala jsem, proč se tak vlastně cítí a dokázala jsem si ho oblíbit. I když tedy jen na oko, přece jen byl plně oddaný džihádu, což asi není úplně ideální...
Co se týče Šáhida, to byl prostě ten hodný ochranitelský bratr, takové zlatíčko, které by sestře neskřivilo ani vlas na hlavě, čímž vlastně trochu spoileruji, ale snad ne až tak moc. Co se týče Guse, ten mě upřímně dost naštval - tvrdil, jak Áfiju miluje a přitom se tahal s jinými holkami.
Nebyla to tedy špatná kniha, pěkně se četla a já si tak rozšířila obzory v souvislosti s jinou kulturou, která je nám naprosto neznámá a mnozí se jí i bojí. Lucy Ferris se kvůli této knize vydala do Pákistánu, aby tam okoukala zvyky a tradice a je skvělé, že je kniha v tomhle ohledu založená na skutečnosti. Možná by asi ani ten happyend nebyl tak docela reálný.
Pokud se tedy chcete něčemu přiučit, podívat se do jiné kultury, přestat se bát toho, čím nás straší v médiích, zjistit, že jsou Muslimové opravdu lidé jako my (možná jen trochu moc zbožní a to je asi ten největší problém) a že i oni mají své strachy a obavy... zkrátka, přečtěte si ji, věřím, že nebudete litovat. :)
Co se týče Šáhida, to byl prostě ten hodný ochranitelský bratr, takové zlatíčko, které by sestře neskřivilo ani vlas na hlavě, čímž vlastně trochu spoileruji, ale snad ne až tak moc. Co se týče Guse, ten mě upřímně dost naštval - tvrdil, jak Áfiju miluje a přitom se tahal s jinými holkami.
Nebyla to tedy špatná kniha, pěkně se četla a já si tak rozšířila obzory v souvislosti s jinou kulturou, která je nám naprosto neznámá a mnozí se jí i bojí. Lucy Ferris se kvůli této knize vydala do Pákistánu, aby tam okoukala zvyky a tradice a je skvělé, že je kniha v tomhle ohledu založená na skutečnosti. Možná by asi ani ten happyend nebyl tak docela reálný.
Pokud se tedy chcete něčemu přiučit, podívat se do jiné kultury, přestat se bát toho, čím nás straší v médiích, zjistit, že jsou Muslimové opravdu lidé jako my (možná jen trochu moc zbožní a to je asi ten největší problém) a že i oni mají své strachy a obavy... zkrátka, přečtěte si ji, věřím, že nebudete litovat. :)
April 3, 2015
Flipping from Pakistan to America, we follow a brother and sister who are scholarship students. The brother gained a place by being good at squash, but the girl is a serious medical student who wants to improve the lives of women in her hill village.
Another main character is the squash coach, fighting for funding to maintain as diverse as team as she can field, not knowing that the Pakistani boy finds a female coach shameful. She is about to be involved in serious crime.
Sadly the force of the book has to be the messed-up heads and morals of some Pakistani people who believe that women should be unseen and never touch a man or talk to one until they marry. The reasonable stance of the parents at the start - her brother will take care of her in America, she's a good respectable girl - is smothered by rising extremist tensions and attitudes.
Reading this book it is tempting to offer free entry to more liberal countries to only women from restrictive states, provided they dump the offensive, to free women, chadors and burkas. Not only are the women in this book becoming more enslaved physically and intellectually, their alleged morals invite murder by close family members, justified by the concept of honour, for a matter as slight as holding a man's hand. Read A Sister To Honor and judge for yourself.
Another main character is the squash coach, fighting for funding to maintain as diverse as team as she can field, not knowing that the Pakistani boy finds a female coach shameful. She is about to be involved in serious crime.
Sadly the force of the book has to be the messed-up heads and morals of some Pakistani people who believe that women should be unseen and never touch a man or talk to one until they marry. The reasonable stance of the parents at the start - her brother will take care of her in America, she's a good respectable girl - is smothered by rising extremist tensions and attitudes.
Reading this book it is tempting to offer free entry to more liberal countries to only women from restrictive states, provided they dump the offensive, to free women, chadors and burkas. Not only are the women in this book becoming more enslaved physically and intellectually, their alleged morals invite murder by close family members, justified by the concept of honour, for a matter as slight as holding a man's hand. Read A Sister To Honor and judge for yourself.
January 6, 2015
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I could hardly put this book down. My heart was racing during a good part of this novel. I am familiar enough with some of the ideas of Honor codes many groups have. The novel is really of a story spiraling out of control. You are sitting there on the sidelines wanting to yell at the characters before it is too late!
Lucy Ferriss tells A Sister to Honor in alternating perspectives, so you get to know a few of the characters pretty good and some just enough. The story mostly centers on Afia and Shahid. I really liked both of them and wanted so much for them to be open and really discuss what was going on, but with a culture like theirs it seemed almost impossible. I felt like if they just spoke up everything could have been cleared up...
I felt a multitude of things while reading A Sister to Honor. I mean here these two young people were from home and it seemed like it was ok for Shahid to live an American lifestyle and no one would really hold it against him, yet Afia could not. Nor was anyone really helping her like they were helping him.
An amazingly good novel, peeking into another culture that will set your heart racing! I'm highly recommending A Sister to Honor!
January 9, 2015
A Sister to Honor opened my eyes to the world of Pakistan traditions. I had not read much on this and was amazed at how different their world was. I did realize that the traditions were different, but not how totally different they are. I cannot imagine how Afia sees America. The world of holding hands, meeting men, dressing differently, playing sports, and more equality between men and women was so foreign to her.
I could not believe how Afia’s family treated her when a picture of her was seen on the internet holding hands with an American boy. I love how Shahid stood up for her, tried to protect her, and vouched for her honor. The rest of her family amazed me, how could they treat their daughter the way they did. How could they expect her to give up what she has worked so hard for? Many times I stopped reading, just to think, think about what was going on and how it is different from everything I know.
I love when a book makes me stop and think. It makes me appreciate what I have and how my world could have been different had I been born in a different country with a different upbringing. This is a story I will be thinking about and talking about with my friends. I definitely recommend this book to everyone.
I could not believe how Afia’s family treated her when a picture of her was seen on the internet holding hands with an American boy. I love how Shahid stood up for her, tried to protect her, and vouched for her honor. The rest of her family amazed me, how could they treat their daughter the way they did. How could they expect her to give up what she has worked so hard for? Many times I stopped reading, just to think, think about what was going on and how it is different from everything I know.
I love when a book makes me stop and think. It makes me appreciate what I have and how my world could have been different had I been born in a different country with a different upbringing. This is a story I will be thinking about and talking about with my friends. I definitely recommend this book to everyone.
January 19, 2015
A Sister to Honor was such an emotional book for me to read. There are so many different items brought to attention that had to be difficult to describe and convey accurately.
The story Ferriss wove was as beautiful as it was heartbreaking at times. I could not imagine living in fear of those that I love most. It’s a hard concept to grasp because they way family ties are held in the Pashtun area are not ones that are seen in America. Ferriss did an amazing job of researching the culture before she wrote this. I learned a lot about the culture, and it’s definitely eye-opening.
I’m trying to keep from spoiling the story because it is a definite must read. I appreciate how she shows the different ways Americans and the Pashtuns hold honor. And how she told the story of a brother and sister trying to come to terms with love, honor, and deciding if you should have to live the life that is expected of you.
Such a great book! Just be warned that there are times you will want to rage, as well as times where you want to break down and hold the characters and ensure that everything will be okay. Words cannot do this book justice.
October 12, 2015
I didn't think I would like this book. I had a bit of a hard time getting into it, but that's what happens when you just finish another excellent book. However, once into it, it was a sad, amazing story. This is about honor killings. In many countries, if a single woman is touched by a man, kissed, or dresses too revealingly, the men in her family can kill her, and in those countries, it's legal. Imagine! This story is set in the U.S. Afia and her brother are both studying in the U.S., but their home is Pakistan. Of course, in the majority of the world, being a teenager involves exploring their sexuality. Unacceptable to Afia's family, even though she remains a virgin, and the only proof anyone has is photographs, 1 of her holding a boy's hand, the other showing her sitting on a man's shoulders. There is a third photo, but her family doesn't see it. There are twists and turns in this story, and it makes me cry for all the women who have been killed or mutilated because of this "honor". Read it!
January 5, 2015
Afia is from Pakistan. She goes to college in the United States, so she can return to Pakistan to care for women.
A picture on a website of her holding hands with an American boy puts her family to shame. Someone in her family decides that she must die in order to wash away the shame. Who made this decision? Who is trying to kill her? Are they also trying to kill her American boyfriend? If she does survive, will she be forced to marry someone she does not even know? Maybe instead of death, they will just cut and scar her face as they did her friend's face.
This book is so emotionally taxing that I had to wait a few days before writing this review. It saddens me beyond words that there are women around the world living in shame or fear because of their gender. This is a book that will forever stay with me.
A picture on a website of her holding hands with an American boy puts her family to shame. Someone in her family decides that she must die in order to wash away the shame. Who made this decision? Who is trying to kill her? Are they also trying to kill her American boyfriend? If she does survive, will she be forced to marry someone she does not even know? Maybe instead of death, they will just cut and scar her face as they did her friend's face.
This book is so emotionally taxing that I had to wait a few days before writing this review. It saddens me beyond words that there are women around the world living in shame or fear because of their gender. This is a book that will forever stay with me.
September 4, 2015
I made the mistake of taking this on vacation, and wanted to stay in the hotel reading instead of going out. I also finished it early and had to get another for the flight home. It was captivating!
This book does a great job of contrasting the individualistic American culture with the community family cultures of the middle east. The main character is torn between following love and leaving her family (a very American choice) versus following her family's wishes because they're affected by her decisions.
It was shocking and emotional and frustrating at times. You really get caught up in how there are few choices that make everyone happy.
This book does a great job of contrasting the individualistic American culture with the community family cultures of the middle east. The main character is torn between following love and leaving her family (a very American choice) versus following her family's wishes because they're affected by her decisions.
It was shocking and emotional and frustrating at times. You really get caught up in how there are few choices that make everyone happy.
December 20, 2016
This book took me awhile to finish, it started very slow. Afia is the main character, a girl from Pakistan studying in the States under her brother's watchful eyes. When I first read the reviews and the back cover at the book store, I couldn't wait to read it knowing the customs and traditions of the east, but it was a little disappointing to me. The book was too long for its storyline, and I feel like I still don't know the characters very well, especially Afia.
July 7, 2015
Just finished this and read it in one sitting...even while I was cooking! A young Pakistani brother and sister come to America to attend college and the cultural differences wreaks their lives. I didn't want to put the book down as I was so drawn into the characters. So much to discuss..ethics, religion, honor (who and what to) and love across religions.
March 30, 2015
I loved how this book told about the differences between the western world and Pakistan without just stating it. Love, honor, familial obligations, and the traditional roles of women made this book a fascinating and quick read.
April 3, 2015
Really enjoyed this book. Took some getting used to of the authors writing style to jump ahead so quickly after a big scene. Some parts of the book did seem like this was a first time novel for an author. But kept me interested from beginning to end.
February 17, 2015
This is fast moving tale with many twists. It has fascinating, fully drawn characters that introduce readers to two different worlds- tribal Pakistan and the squash courts of a New England college. It increases cultural understanding while telling a fascinating story.
March 14, 2015
Captivating and insightful
Fascinating to learn about their culture and customs and how dramatically they clash with ours in America. Great characters and plot. Loved the coach and her team. Very good read!
Fascinating to learn about their culture and customs and how dramatically they clash with ours in America. Great characters and plot. Loved the coach and her team. Very good read!
May 21, 2016
The book was complex and kept me interested for the entire length. Ferriss does an amazing job portraying what is a fairly confusing culture and religion to most Western people's and portrays that same confusion well. I would recommend this book to anyone.
March 15, 2015
Great story - definitely did not turn out like I thought it would when I picked up the book.
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