45 Things To Do Before You’re 45: A novel

by Julia Tuffs, Issy Suttie (Narrator)

"This isn’t how I pictured my life, you know? It was going to be fabulous. I was going to be fabulous.”

Meet Charlie; unfulfilled and perimenopausal, Charlie’s suburban life is a far cry from the Manhattan glamour she once dreamed of. Her husband is incapable of talking about anything other than his latest Ironman challenge, her sex life consists of fictional encounters with Hollywood stars, her kids need constant man-management, and to make things worse, her optician has just prescribed her reading glasses.

Oh, and she can’t stop crying at TV adverts…

In the hope of re-discovering her sense of self, Charlie begins writing a list: 45 things to do before she’s 45.

*Eat an oyster
*Take up parkour
*Read War and Peace
*Take ecstasy
*Try stand-up comedy
*Go to a sex club

Determined to complete them all, Charlie embarks on a chaotic odyssey through her own spectacular midlife crisis, challenging herself to become the person she wants to be. But what happens if we’re not that person? How do we learn to let them go? Or does something else have to give?

Uproariously funny and deeply human, 45 Things… is an all-too relatable story of what it means to be alive and how much living we all still have to do.

Genres: Audiobook, Chick Lit, Fiction

Audible Audio

Published January 30, 2025

Reviews

[Aine McGrath]

Horrendous book. The main character is an awfully self-centred person and the others aren’t much better. I normally never write reviews but this one was that bad that I had to. The only thing good about it was the narrator. Still have half left to listen to and the only reason I’m trying to finish it (at 2x speed) is the hope the main character and her husband actually get their comeuppance by the end.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

I tried to like it, but the main character was so self centered that I found her hard to like. When I listened to it, it just made me sad. And not in the way a good story does by bringing me to cathartic tears, but because of how the main character is living and thinking about her life and how she treats others is just shitty. I know at times it’s supposed to be funny and lighthearted/relatable, but for me, it missed the mark and I felt bad for her friends and family.

[Jenelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun read that tackles the glory and sometimes gory parts of mid-forties for women while wrapping into it the joys of motherhood, careers, friendship, and marriage. Tuffs’ characters are real, raw, amusing, and relatable while drawing a story that cross between the thread of aging and womanhood. A great read and many smiles and laughter while nodding your head yes from empathy and experience as a woman juggling it all!

[Mahayana Dugast · Rating 3 out of 5]

Light reading. Very funny.

[Maggie Jahnke · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't know why I didn't DNF this. The main character is deplorable, to say the absolute least. I'll give it 1.5 stars just because I finished it, but absolutely would not recommend it to anyone and certainly not one I would read again.

Charlie, a middle aged mom, feeling lost in her day-to-day life, sets about the task of completing her arbitrary list of things to do before 45. Over a 2 year, alcohol-infused period she works her way, mostly, through the list In the process, ruining her marriage and friendships with her selfish antics.

One would hope the MC would have some sort of redemption but even through to the end when she has her awakening she is still self serving, just without the help of alcohol and drugs.

The story just seemed to repeat itself over and over as the character tries to check items off her list that ultimately end in some sort of disaster. The entire story focuses on this list, but there is nothing really worth noting about the list. No major accomplishment, except writing a horrifically long book.

I wish I could find something redeeming to write about this other than a SAHM getting out and finding herself, but that is about it. A middle aged, SAHM creates a list to try to find herself, needing liquid courage to complete most of the items in the list, or an alcohol reward.

If Bridget Jones had a midlife crisis, her name would be Charlie.

[Samuel Durey · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s difficult to enjoy a book when the main character is unlikable. Unfortunately I couldn’t stand Charlie and how much of a terrible friend, wife and mother she was. There’s something very sad about reading the story of a depressed woman in denial but the overall light tone of this book missed the mark. Charlie is very aware how much of a twat she is throughout the book but it seems like she doesn’t learn anything, she doesn’t grow, she doesn’t change, she just ends up in exactly the same place where she started; drinking with her friends. So disappointing.

[Ashleigh La'rose · Rating 3 out of 5]

This novel follows Charlie, a woman in her forties navigating a midlife crisis. Feeling overlooked, overworked, and generally unfulfilled, she decides to tackle a bucket list in hopes of rediscovering herself.

Many readers reviewed this book poorly, largely due to their dislike of the main character—and to be fair, Charlie is incredibly self-absorbed and inconsiderate for most of the story. However, that seems to be the author’s intent: to show genuine character growth by the end. The problem is, the author may have succeeded a little too well, making Charlie difficult to connect with for much of the book.

That said, there were plenty of relatable moments, and I enjoyed listening to this while doing chores. The narrator did a fantastic job bringing the story to life.

[Ewa Karolina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it! Love it even more for the tons of people seemingly offended by the ‚crudeness’ of the book and perimenopause

[Sophie_Faith GlowUp · Rating 2 out of 5]

As I am currently working on my list of 40 things to do before I turn 40, as soon as I saw this book become available I was keen to read it.

We join Charlie who hasn't got the glamourous life she would love to have. In the hope of rediscovering herself and improving her life - Charlie writes her list of 45 things to do before she turns 45. These include things like go to a sex club, read War and Peace etc. We join her work through her list and all the things that happen to her as a result.

I loved the first part of this book when she started working through her list. It was laugh out loud funny and I wish it had just stayed like this. With all the troubles, drama etc that ended up happening, what I had hoped would be an inspiring and funny read - to me, turned into quite the opposite. I wish we had just followed her going through her list.

[GP · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some amazing and some terrible aspects to this book. The main character is EXTREMELY unlikable. However this in turn does accurately portray someone having a midlife crisis / breakdown. The relationship aspects of the book really resonated with me, luckily being in the idyllic part of the relationship myself which the author described in the past tense for this book, and the current relationship of the main character ringing as a stark warning of what the future could hold if not carefully managed.

The book could have been amazing but it was an example of great, mixed with terrible, which lead to average.

[Alicia · Rating 3 out of 5]

The idea of this book was a good one. A mother who has lost her own identity after 20 years of marriage and staying home taking care of her kids and who writes a list on her 44th birthday of things to accomplish before she’s 45. The execution is a bit rough as you see her fall further and further into a rut of depression and self sabotage. It gets so bad that I ended up at the point of disconnecting and not wanting her to redeem herself or feel that she truly could. By the end, I felt a bit better about her, but still don’t feel that her character arch had the full effect that was intended.

[Alane Madsen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I felt the main character had so many issues that many women have. It was very relatable hearing her progression throughout the book. I can see myself in some of those situations.

I think the roller coaster of friendships and marriages is common. I wish there had been a friend that had a strong relationship, too. This would have helped balance and been an additional voice. She and all her friends ended up alone- there are still people married in the real world.

I wonder how much of this book is based on a real life individual in the author’s life.

[Shelley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Er.... got a bit wierd but was OK.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really Enjoyed this book, I’m not sure why it’s getting so much hate.
It was fast paced and funny. Nice easy read/listen.
This is the second Julia tuff’s book Ive listened to and enjoyed (‘nesting for beginers’ )
it was performed well and was entertaining.

[Jackie Davenport · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not entirely sure what I thought about this book. Some parts were ok but very much an annoying character in a lot of it and it could’ve been better.

[Donna Cameron · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to this on Audible. I wasn’t sure about this story to begin with. The heroine was not very likeable and seemed to sit within a lot of annoying stereotypes that get tossed upon mothers and women in their 40’s such as; being a low-key alcoholic or a bit of a pervert, obsessed with men and sex. I found these elements quite frustrating, but as the story went on it was obvious that this was quite specific to her and it also became clear that it wasn’t ‘normal’ even for this character. Initially you would think the heroine is heavily lacking in self awareness and is inherently selfish, but the last handful of chapters were good at turning this around without being untrue to her. I found the overall story good, I would have liked an epilogue, I feel like some elements were left unfinished, but that’s just my opinion.

[Anastasiya M · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was one of those listens that started off with promise but quickly veered into frustrating territory. It followed Charlie, a middle-aged woman feeling stuck and aimless, as she embarked on a mission to tick off a list of things to do before turning 45. What could have been a heartwarming or empowering story about rediscovery ended up feeling shallow and repetitive.

The idea of self-reinvention—especially later in life—is something I normally enjoy. But here, the tone felt off. There was this breezy, almost flippant quality to everything that didn’t sit well, especially given the more serious undercurrents running through the story. Instead of a meaningful journey, it was mostly just a two-year, wine-soaked blur of bad decisions. And somehow, after all the chaos, Charlie didn’t seem to learn anything at all.

The biggest issue, though, was how unlikable the main character was. She constantly made selfish choices, hurt the people around her, and seemed painfully self-aware but unwilling to actually change. The setting shifted between daily routines and the occasional ill-conceived adventure, but none of it felt like it really mattered. By the end, we were right back where we started—just with more broken relationships and hangovers. Honestly, it left me more annoyed than inspired.

Read more here: https://annietheinkdrinker.wordpress....

[Nicole Scialabba · Rating 4 out of 5]

I agree with some of the other commenters that the narrator/main character can be a bit unlikable. It is a good story that highlights very different women in their early 40s. I think it was hard to relate to the main character at times because none of us thinks we want to be that self centered/self involved. But it was the point to telling her story

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't want to tempt fate here, but wow, I've had a good run this week... another great book that I just didn't expect anything from at all. This one I actually thought was maybe going to be a little like one of those type of self help tick boxes for some reason this is what I had in my head no idea why when it was nothing of the sort.

It was an absolutely humour filled, lighthearted audiobook from start to finish. If your a mum, aunt, sister, daughter or even for partners you may also get some giggles from this it just really is engaging to a listener to a lot of life's little moments that many may experience or have had some crossovers with in one way or another. It lifted my spirits, made me smile, and I just really enjoyed it in all ways.

Well narrated, felt like I was listening to a friend. Again another that is currently free with audiable and I went in clearly with absolutely no expectations whatsoever and very obviously no idea of what this book was about (as I hide my head in shame 🙈) but what a pleasure this was! Kinda sad this one is finished, and there is not another! I want more of this, haha 😂

Love love loved it!!!
All the stars from me today ✨️

[Tina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wasn’t what I wanted it to be, but it was a fun story!

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book from NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

The book begins with Charlie’s birthday and her realisation that next year’s will mean she’ll be in her mid-forties, so she decides to put together a bucket list of sorts. She’s adamant she’s not perimenopausal or menopausal but she’s discontent, deeply unhappy and unfulfilled with a number of aspects of her life.

For me, there were a number of obvious themes: perimenopause and menopause, breakdown, grief, death and loss, ageing and the challenges it brings (parents, friends), divorce and separation, career issues, as well as uncertainty and expectations (especially those placed by society on women for a number of the characters, not just Charlie) and change runs throughout; in terms of relationship dynamics of friendships and partners, kids, jobs/careers, parents.

I was really looking forward to reading this book as it sounded very close to home (minus the husband and kids situation) and it particularly resonated with me in terms of the themes of menopause, depression and anxiety, grief and loss, career uncertainty and societal expectations.

Overall, I thought it was great and I powered through it, keen to find out what scrapes Charlie would get into next as she aimed to tick things off her list and there were many humorous, entertaining, ridiculous and cringeworthy, but also emotional moments. I really enjoyed the book to begin with, but I did feel the story lost its way a little in the middle and became a bit repetitive and felt a bit tired (like Charlie, perhaps?). I also began to really dislike Charlie (but I suppose this is the point of her journey and the challenges she faces, in that it’s authentic and not all sunshine and rainbows) and felt she was selfish, became a bit unlikeable and awful (especially to one of her best friends; the jury’s out on her husband James as he’s got his own issues that are causing them friction). Towards the end, it felt like the thread picked up again but then it did seem to end quite quickly. It took me a while to write this review as I felt I had to consider a lot of issues in order to be fair to both Charlie and the author (if that makes sense).

I would probably rate this book in the high 3’s (out of 5) and it would’ve been a definite 4 if it hadn’t gone off on a tangent in the middle and lost its way a bit, and I’d be interested to read the next novel by this author.

[Beth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was so close to DNF'ing this about 2 hours in, but like a car crash, I couldn't stop looking (listening).

The main character Charlie is a self-centred horrible, horrible human being who has zero common sense. I had absolutely no empathy for her, to the point where I actually worry about the Author.

Charlie isn't just suffering the realities of the Peri-menopause, or boredom in her marriage. She's having an absolute Mental Health crisis, and it was portrayed as a Chick Flick. Silly Charlie is just acting like a *twat* again (not a word I'd normally use, but is featured every 5 mins in the book).
Constantly with the mindset that every one is against her, and that the world revolves around her, you'd have thought that almost burning down the house with her and her daughter inside it would have been a wake up call, but no. It wasn't until she got dragged (sort of voluntarily) to a Sex Club.

She's an alcoholic, she's had a breakdown, she became an insomniac and lived off of '90 packets of supernoodles' to help her write her book, of which she blu-tacked the empty packets to the wall. And no, her marriage was not saved, but she was fine by the end of it because her mate took her to the doctors and got her on antidepressants. And shockingly the book ended exactly where it started, with her drinking a bottle of wine with her mates.

Flippant, uninformed dribble.

0/5

[Laura-Tuesday · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a 40 something woman myself, I was intrigued by 45 Things to Do Before You’re 45. The premise sounded promising, inspiring yet relatable journey through midlife, full of adventure and self-discovery. Unfortunately, while there were moments of warmth and humour, overall, I found the book underwhelming.

Charlie’s journey had its highlights, and I did find myself rooting for her at times. There were moments of genuine growth that I could appreciate, even celebrate. But more often than not, I was left feeling frustrated by her choices and lack of real self-awareness. Rather than a compelling transformation, it felt like a checklist being ticked off without much depth behind it.

That’s not to say the book is all bad; it’s light, easy to read, and has a few moments of wisdom. But for something that’s supposed to capture the essence of embracing life before 45, it lacked the substance and emotional depth I was hoping for. I wanted to feel inspired, not just entertained.

So, while I don’t regret reading it, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it either. If you’re looking for something breezy with a few chuckles, it might be worth a try. But if you’re after something truly insightful about midlife, you may be left feeling conflicted, disappointed for what it could have been and happy for Charlies’s small victories.

[Emily]

I did not enjoy this book. Not giving a star rating as potentially I am not the target market - maybe a mum, dealing with certain motherhood/marriage challenges might enjoy it.

Why didn't I enjoy: There were a lot of stereotypes that I personally find off-putting, e.g. the bored housewife, the male breadwinner, the entitled women with no grasp on reality, the parentified daughter. I guess the point of the book is to see how these stereotypes play out, it's just not my cup of tea. I may have stopped paying attention but I think there were a few loose ends that remained untied too, though on reflection I don't hate that, and maybe was intentional, to emphasise the resolution of the friendships.

Many of the reviews mention how unlikeable the main character is. It's true she is but this is sort of the point. I admire that the writer explored such a flawed character. I didn't like the character, but that's not why I didn't enjoy the book.

I like Issy Suttie who reads it on Audible and persevered only because of that.

[Chene · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book gave me mixed feelings. I listened to it on Audible, and honestly, I wasn’t a fan of the narrator’s accent (personal preference). The story itself felt pretty long and drawn-out, but it’s about a woman having a midlife crisis after hearing about a classmate's passing. She creates a list of things to do before turning 45, and trying to complete it really messes up her life. Her kids were awful, and it sometimes felt like she hated them. Her husband came off as selfish (just my take), but she wasn’t any better—she was pretty self-centered and not a great friend to her besties. Her new friend was wild and reckless, often a bad influence. What I got from the book was that life can get messy when you're trying to relive your younger years, and no matter what you're going through, it could always be worse. All experiences shape your story, so just keep going. It was an okay read, but I don’t feel the need to revisit it.🤷🏾‍♀️🫤

[Rebecca R · Rating 5 out of 5]

Turning 44 inspires Charlie to shake her up her comfortable, suburban life and make a list of things to do before she turns 45 - some of them more achievable (eat oysters) than others (sleep with George Clooney). The story starts with a series of hilarious mishaps and embarrassing anecdotes that lull you into a false sense of security (and make you giggle out loud on the train) before it takes a darker turn as Charlie alienates all her friends and her entire family while she embarks on a perimenopause-fuelled midlife meltdown.

At 44, I am the exact target market for this book - which meant that the story was possibly even funnier and more disturbing. I lay sleepless at 4am for several days afterwards panicking and wondering: is it the book keeping me awake or is it perimenopause??? Stay tuned for my list...

[Andrew Borg · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up 45 Things To Do Before You’re 45 because it was free on Audible — no huge expectations, just curious. At first, I wasn’t completely hooked. It took a bit to find its rhythm, but I’m glad I stuck with it. The characters gradually grew on me, and before I knew it, I was fully invested.

The tone reminded me of those dry British humour series — think Breeders with Martin Freeman — where the comedy is laced with emotional honesty and awkward, everyday chaos. It’s not laugh-out-loud all the time, but it gets under your skin in a good way.

Entertaining and emotionally engaging, the story pulls you into the protagonist's world until you’re quietly rooting for them without even realizing it. By the end, I was sad it was over — a sure sign that it hit home more than I expected.

If you're into character-driven stories with a balance of wit and heart, give this one a shot.

[Fay Barrett · Rating 1 out of 5]

Didn't enjoy this at all.

Quite a stereotyped view of being a woman in mid 40s - constantly moaning about being old, obsessed with george cloney, low key judging other mums who 'have their shit together and know how to do make up'.

The list kept being blamed for blowing her life up, but despite hearing non-stop about her drinking, it was never really addressed, even in the therapy scenes, that it was alcoholism ruining her life and causing the majority of the problems.

The language was also pretty off putting and over done, 30% of the whole book must be made up of the words piss, shit, twat and period blood.

[Justine · Rating 1 out of 5]

The ONLY good thing about this book is when her friend Cath called her out for being awful, and her other friend Emily was okay too. And I guess that she kind of changed at the end? But the entire book was her feeling sorry for herself over VERY NORMAL things. If I could give it half a star I would, and that was for the things mentioned above, and the fact that I pushed through to finish it. Her kids were okay too although she barely spent any time with any of them throughout the book. She clearly needs help.

Don’t bother reading, ESPECIALLY if you’re looking for something remotely motivating. Don’t waste your money or time.

[Arlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

I turn 45 in a few months, and I'm not sure whether to take this as a cautionary tale or congratulate myself on my life not unravelling this spectacularly. The protagonist is refreshingly self-centred and irresponsible for a female main character, and at times is infuriating. Or is she? Is she any more selfish and irresponsible than her husband, who leaves all of the domestic labour to her while he does meditation and Iron Man challenges? It's a bit clichéd in places, but it's an enjoyable story of the pressures on middle aged women and the joys and challenges of family life and female friendships.