The Butterfly Garden: Surviving Childhood on the Run with One of America's Most Wanted

by Chip St Clair

Fear rocked Chip St. Clair's world. As a boy, he never knew what would set his father off--maybe the ice cubes had melted in his glass of Tab, maybe dinner was overcooked or undercooked or the gravy was too runny. Regardless, the beatings always came. As did the twisted games of cat and mouse--being thrown from a rowboat into frigid Lake Michigan, the middle-of-the-night moves to different states, or being left to dangle over a ten-story balcony while his father watched from inside. But one fateful night when the police answered the call, the truth came to light from the shadows, sparking national headlines: Chip St. Clair's entire life--his name, even his date of birth--had been a lie, and the man he called 'Dad' was an impostor, an escaped child killer who had been on the run for over two decades. The stunning revelation would send one of America's Most Wanted to justice and another on a quest for his true identity.

With chilling detail and a riveting, lyrical narrative, The Butterfly Garden reveals St. Clair's struggle to piece together his haunted past before it consumes him and shares his inspiring metamorphosis from victim to victim's advocate. The Butterfly Garden is a timeless triumph, a reminder that hope can be the most powerful of all emotions, freeing us to soar despite the past and the odds against us.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, True Crime, Abuse, Autobiography, Book Club, Biography

250 pages, Paperback

First published January 18, 2008

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was memoir about a boy who suffered terrible abuse at the hands of his father and mother. I've read quite a few of these types of memoirs in my life because they help me lay to rest the abuse I suffered as a child at the hands of my father and my non-nurturing mother. The author of this book goes on to fight and work with Congress to help children that slip through the cracks like I did. Child services, although called on my dad, did nothing to help me. Also, we have to stop thinking that abuse only comes in physical form....the lasting effects of mental abuse on a child take their toll over a lifetime. I'm living proof of that. At 35 years old, I am only now realizing my value to God. It was drilled in my head for many years that I was worthless. That's hard to overcome. Also, the author as a child turns to music and literature to help him cope...which is precisely what I turned to as a child to help myself cope (although for myself, i also turned to some unhealthy behaviors like cutting) so I could relate in particular with Mr. St. Clair.


Anyway, here are a few of the things I highlighted in this book:

"Reality rarely changes; only our perspective of it. The means to change our surroundings depends on our own ability to shift perspectives. And that ability demands two prerequisites: desire and commitment."

This is a poem called "Invictus" that he quotes in the book that I loved:

"Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul."


I'm free from you Daddy....I'm free.

[K.S.R.]

The Butterfly Garden is the amazing true story of Chip St. Clair who didn't know he was the son of one of the country's ten most wanted. The abuse and horrors he survives are heart-wrenching, but in the end St. Clair talks about hope, and the transformation that comes through pain. I have chills, even as I'm writing this. I was truly touched and inspired.

[Gina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Chip St. Clair grew up in an incredibly abusive household, an only child to an alcoholic mother and a violent father. It's a miracle he survived. It wasn't until his early 20's he learned his father was on the run, an escaped convicted child murderer and on the Michigan most wanted list. Chip is the one who turned him in. He wrote this book after the onslaught of media attention, including segments on Good Morning America and Dateline, following the case. If you're expecting a rough childhood memoir in the nature of The Glass Castle (which I loved) or Educated (which I liked), this isn't it. It's ridiculously poorly written, with serious timeline and investigation issues that make it hard to follow. There are several important plot points, such as the damage his parents did to his credit, the arrest of his mother for unrelated charges, and finding out about family he never knew, that are mentioned but never fully realized. The story is important, but the writing is a hot mess.

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chip actually came to Ann Arbor at the beginning of 2008. I had been in email contact with him, but was unable to make it to the event. Fortunately, he was kind enough to send me his book and I'm so glad that he did!

Most of us would agree that our childhoods aren't all that great. Most families have secrets that they keep hidden from one another. But imagine you're a teenager and, for the first time in your life, finding out that your father is a wanted man, and you may not be who you think you are.

Chip does an excellent job of putting you in his shoes, of telling his own story in a way that doesn't make you pity him, but gives you great empathy for the many roads he took to get where he is now. That so much greatness was able to come from so much pain is a testament to the strength of human will and endurance.

[Laren · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an unusual book. It's the memoir of a boy living with an abusive father and dysfunctional abused mom who had to endure such bizarre episodes as the time his father threw him overboard in the middle of Lake Michigan and then rowed away. It's also a true crime story, as the boy grows up to discover that his father is actually a convicted child murderer on the run, and the author turns him in knowing his mother could also be charged with aiding and abetting the escape from prison. It's an inspirational book as Chip learns to find meaning in his life likening it to the metamorphasis of a caterpillar to a butterfly. It's also a love story, as his wife Lisa is there through most of the book supporting him and showing him love is possible in his crazy world. Finally, it's an unsolved mystery with unexplained photos and some parental behavior never understood in the end.

[Louvaine · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a really disturbing book. Without giving too much away, I can say this reinforces the truth about the resilience of the human spirit. Sometimes though, something just didn't feel quite right. Like maybe things weren't quite the way they were written. There were many loose ends and unfinished areas, this is partly what was disturbing. The VAGUENESS of the overall story, which focused mainly on the authors' feelings and responses to his circumstances, seems somehow contrived at times. I applaud those who have overcome incredible odds and destructive backgrounds, but also don't want to see it become the vehicle for exploitation. I don't really feel it adds anything new to the genre of survivor literature. It does reveal how readily someone with this background is accepted as an "expert".

[Karen & Gerard · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Bizzare story of Mystery, Hope and Justice! (5 stars)

Chip grew up being abused and not knowing his parents were on the run. Chip didn't find out until he was in college about the secrets his parents kept from him. He realized that they were both very dangerous people and he was fortunate to have survived into adulthood. This book shows the great influence a woman can have on a man and the importance of a good woman in a man's life. Lisa helped Chip sort out his past and loved him for who he was, bringing out the best in him. Growing up, Chip found solace in poetry and art. Not until the end of the book does the reader find out the meaning of the title of the book. I agree with my husband when he says it's a real page turner and full of surprises!

[Sheryl Sorrentino · Rating 5 out of 5]

Aside from the fact that Chip St. Clair is an engaging writer who tells an incredibly engrossing and moving story, I gave this book five stars because he managed to answer the question, "So what?" Many memoirs expose the horrors of childhood abuse, and I'm all for writing as a form of catharsis if an author does it well. But to earn five stars, the book must go beyond that. St. Clair's book does, despite leaving several mysteries unsolved at the end.

In addition to raising awareness about the ever-present issue of childhood abuse (and the various organizations available to help abused children), this book stands for something even bigger of which we all need be reminded: We are each responsible for defining our lives, and who we choose to become in the world. At some crucial, defining moment, we must make a critical choice: Do we allow the hand we were dealt to embitter us and justify our giving up on ourselves or--worse yet--heaping cruelty onto others? Or do we dig deep to that instinctive wellspring of hope that enables us not only to survive, but nourishes us and fuels a need to effect change in the world around us? This quality is what sets St. Clair apart--as both an author and a man.

I could nitpick and find fault with some of the "sappier" passages in his book; I did have some trouble accepting his girlfriend's (later his wife's) unconditional love and tolerance in the face of not only his parents' brutality but St. Clair's own nascent abusive tendencies. That said, St. Clair is obviously a loving soul who possesses an outstanding degree of human fortitude, so perhaps his wife, Lisa, saw that in him at a young age despite his circumstances and his understandable reactions to them. A lesser woman would have run for her life.

A quick, uplifting read despite its horrific subject matter, The Butterfly Garden is a brave and important work by an inspired (and inspiring) author and human being.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the book, but it had way too many unanswered questions, and not just about mysterious pictures and documents. As another reviewer mentioned, there was a certain "vagueness" to it. I have many questions about his story, such as:

-When the author was an adult uncovering the things about his father and the parole hearing, there are no hard dates or ages mentioned.

-His credit was ruined, yet he could go out and purchase a new Mustang, and later a house?

-He owned a house, but never mentioned either he or his wife having a job?

-I know there are a cops out there who will look the other way, but his father was able to get out of things by just claiming he was a Vietnam Vet and never had to show an ID?

-Neighbors previously called the cops on all the noise, yet the cops did nothing after seeing injuries?

-Why didn't they prosecute his mother for aiding and abetting,ID theft and helping a prisioner escape? And she was already out of jail and re-employed just a few weeks after being in jail for embezzellement?

-Why did the author continue to hint at him being kidnapped?

-How did he end up with the "legal" last name of St. Clair, since he was their biological child?


I am in no way saying he wasn't a victim of horrible abuse, and he suffered tremendously, but I almost felt a puffed up, James Frey-type of embellishment while reading this.

[Kathy Dobronyi · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Through introspection I finally understood that events beyond our control deal us the hand we get to play in life. Everything we experience shapes us, including the experiences that cause us pain. And what may still haunt us today are merely the shadows of the demons of yesterday. By embracing the shadows of my past, I began to master my demons. In the newfound light of peace and hope for the future that radiated from within me, I could begin to illuminate the recesses of my mind that were once shrouded in darkness.”

Growing up is never easy, but it’s hell when your father is a homicidal maniac and your mother is his partner. Clip St. Clair wove a tapestry of pain and confusion. Instead of dwelling on that, he showed the miracle of metamorphosis—a caterpillar to a butterfly.

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this book up originally because I love to read memoirs, and I have a guilty pleasure for true crime. This was a combination of both, and a bonus of being local (Michigan).

I grabbed it off my shelf today on a whim on my way out the door to the hairdresser, and I couldn't but it down. I finished the book later this evening after dinner.

This is an amazing story of survival of child abuse, and the story that is revealed is completely amazing. To live the life as the "son" of one of Michigan's most wanted is something no child should experience.

This book may seem to be heartbreaking at first, but has a great message and purpose in the end.

[Wylie Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

I finished this book in less than 24 hours. Disturbing. The author is not a writter by profession, so don't expect this if you end up reading this book. It is however a fast moving insightful and gut wrenching picture of what must have been a horrifying experience. I am not sure how a person recovers from this type of continual abuse. I kept expecting at the end to see some sort of counseling treatment connected to his healing/recovery, but there is no mention of it. I am surprized by that. I am still processing the book as it has only been a few hours since I have finished it. I may ammend my review in the next few days with more thoughts.

[Soly Azari · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe I am a product of the desensitized public that has been "over shocked" throughout the years, and now requires more to be shaken or moved by a book. I just wasn't impressed with this book at all. I want to be fair to St. Clair, who obviously is not a seasoned writer by any means, but I can't seem to get over his amateur prose and overuse of cliche descriptions. I guess it is interesting (and sad) to read about his life story, but in my opinion, he could have made his point on the talk show circuit. It seems like anyone can get a book deal these days, and this book is proof of that.

[Autumn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story was about the life of a boy, Chip, who is living under the rule of his evil and abusive father. The book tells of his terrible childhood memories as he presents his case to not allow his father to be released from prison on parole. This book is very emotional and mature. It speaks of a lot of depressing topics such as suicide. It is a very well written book in the sense that it captures the emotions he feels now in his adulthood as a result of his past. I would recommend this book to mature readers because of the consistently strong language and graphic scenes.

[Tiffy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very vivid re-telling of a boy's history and story of his past. His violent past set him up to be the amazing person he is today. This book is very bold, very good. It is an excellent read but I must caution, it is very raw and filled with emotion. His ability to overcome where he came from and more importantly who he came from is an inspiring story and a lesson learned that I won't soon forget.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Chip St. Clair had a rather bizarre childhood with an abusive father, an enabling mother, and much more fear than any child should ever have to experience. As a young adult, Chip discovered that his father had been convicted of murdering a young child and had escaped from prison with the help of his mother 26 years previous. He turned his father in and began searching for answers. His story is heartbreaking, inspiring, and fascinating.

[Jess Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish that we could use this book for my 10F class. I think that a lot of students suffer abuse at the hands of their parents, and it is wonderful to see Chip succeed. They will be able to relate and appreciate the perseverance that Chip shows throughout the whole book. This is such a wonderful book with a wonderful, metaphorical message.

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good memoir. As far as terrible childhood's go, I've read worse (A child called "IT") and have actually lived through worse myself; however to find out the mind blowing truth about his father and to have so much unanswered about your life is so sad. The fact that this man transformed all that negativity into doing something so positive with his life is inspiring :)

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was terribly tragic. The things Chip St. Clair endured throughout his life and the questions left unanswered are astonishing. I was inspired by his ability to survive and ultimately overcome even in the most trying times. A difficult book to read but definitely worth it.

[Judy Phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very well written, easy to read, and to keep up with the story. Even though it's sad, it tells the truth of what happened to Mr. St. Clair as a child.

My only problem was that as an adult, Mr. St. Clair never gave any credit to God for what God had done for him.

[Collin Trierweiler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not much to say but this book is great, i am not a big reader but when my mom told me about this book, i had to read it so i did and i absolutely loved it so than a little later i did read it once again! That how good this book is!

[Shannan Henry · Rating 5 out of 5]

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[SouthWestZippy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Monsters are real and this book has the proof. Heart-wrenching story about a abused boy who made a discovery about his Mother and Father. This is a quick read but not a easy read due to subject.

[Fishface · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very hard to put down, partly because so much of it happened practically in my backyard, but partly because of the brutally honest writing.

[Christine Fay · Rating 4 out of 5]

This author has been to the depths of hell and lived to tell about it. His childhood, if you can call it that, was disturbing due to a few factors. If you want to find out more, and trust me, you do, then you can read about it yourself. It’s a very quick read, a very powerful read, and a very disturbing read . . . until you realize that the author survived and thrived despite his almost unendurable circumstances.

“Reality rarely changes; only our perspective of it. The means to change our surroundings depends on our own ability to shift perspectives” (195).

“Just as the butterfly’s purpose is to emerge from a cocoon and soar, we, too, must bring forth our colors from within, not hide them from the world -- for they are part of our very being, the palette of our life’s experiences. We must not be afraid to reveal the rainbow buried deep within us, to spread our wings and help make the world flourish” (202).

“The post-traumatic stress suffered by an abused child is three times greater than that of a war veteran. This is partly because, unlike soldiers, children have no frame of reference to know that the abuse they’re suffering is not normal. They don’t understand that the abuse they’re suffering is not normal. They don’t understand that the world doesn’t have to be the way it is in their home, and ultimately all but the glowing embers of hope are dashed” (236).

[Karen Bullock · Rating 4 out of 5]

A harrowing memoir of insane abuse at the hands of a true monster. Years of treacherous lies, physical and mental abuse created by a violent and unstable man.
A man, on the run from the law, in the top 10 list of America’s Most Wanted. How did he continue to evade justice?
Most diabolical that everyone in his dad’s family knew how dangerous he was and did absolutely nothing to stop his violent behavior, did nothing about turning him in. Horrible, horrible people.
It is utterly amazing Chip managed to survive his childhood, survive all the near attempts on his life. The insidious lies that fell out of both Leslie and Dave’s mouth about who they were and the traps they set against Chip was disgusting.
Crimes against this poor child, who just wanted to be loved by his parents, make them proud.
Refreshing to read that Chip grew up and was not abusive towards others, that he broke the abusive chain and continued to pursue those who committed crimes against children is definitely a positive.

[Julie Cadman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chip St. Clair and his wife Lisa recently spoke at a conference I attended in Michigan. I found their presentation to be inspirational and was intrigued as they tossed the presentation back and forth to tell the story of their lives - how they met and stayed together. They showed pictures and went into additional detail about their life.

The pain of physical and emotional abuse and living with one of Americas 10 most wanted criminals was mind boggling. Chip endured a lot, yet he continued to work toward the goal of finding out more about his lost past, his real name, and was he really the child of the people who raised him - the people he called mom and dad. And as he slowly realized that he had been living in a nightmare, seemingly alone he was blessed to have his wife Lisa to walk alongside him as he began his healing journey that extended toward helping other children in similar situations to what he had endured. Chip used the arts and the power of writing to help him through a nightmare existence - this book is very well done.

[Liveta · Rating 3 out of 5]

Skaityti autobiografinius romanus man labai įdomu. Iš jų gali daug ko pasimokyti, nes juose atskleidžiami intymiausi gyvenimo etapai, patirtys, klaidos, išgyvenimai.
Jis buvo pagrobtas, kentė nuolatines tėvo patyčias, smurtą, buvo priverstas stebėti mušamą motiną - kai žinai, kad tai neišgalvota, skaityti kūrinį ypač emociškai sunku.
Šios knygos anotacija itin šiurpi. Buvo šiek tiek baisu pradėti ją skaityti, bet pasiryžau.
Pirmoji knygos pusė man patiko labiau, kur autorius grynai pasakoja apie savo vaikystę, antroji knygos pusė šiek tiek net įkyrėjo, labai daug tokio perdėto filosofavimo apie gyvenimą.  Na, teisti autoriaus tikrai negaliu, matosi, kad į šią knygą jis sudėjo visą savo širdį, tie pamąstymai jam tikriausiai labai svarbūs, o ar skaitytojui jie bus priimtini, tik jų asmeninis reikalas.
Knyga mane tikrai palietė, užgavo tas jautriausias stygas, vargu ar gali atsirasti abejingų tokiai istorijai.
Negaliu teigti, kad tai nuostabi, puiki knyga, tačiau tikrai verta dėmesio.

[Jennifer Winters · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book got me emotional from the very beginning to the very last page. Chip is a very good writer and he tells his story of growing up with abuse in a very honest and eloquent way. I felt like I could relate to him from growing up with an abusive step dad. He shows us that even if others beat us down we can have talents and if we can change the world even for just one person then that’s worth it. To never give up on working on ourselves and becoming a better person for those that are willing to stick around. I was really impressed by the way he wrote this book. He really has a way with words. A natural born poet.

[David Abbott · Rating 4 out of 5]

An extraordinary account of child abuse

This is an amazing first-person account of a horribly dysfunctional family and incredibly abusive childhood. It is almost incomprehensible to me that the author was able to survive such horrible abuse. The book has impressed upon me the simple joys of a normal, healthy and loving family and how awful it would be to experience what Mr. St. Clair went through. I am very impressed by his resilience in the face of such devastating psychological impacts.