Pretty Ugly

by Kirker Butler

From a producer of Family Guy, a satirical look at a dysfunctional family complete with a stage mom, 9 year-old pageant queen, philandering husband, his girlfriend, and the crazy grandmother

Miranda Miller’s mission in life is to make sure her nine-year-old daughter, Bailey, continues to be one of the most successful child pageant contestants in the southern United States. Lately, that mission’s been difficult. Bailey has been secretly binge eating to gain weight so Miranda will let her retire; and the reality show Miranda been trying to set up for Bailey (and herself) just went to their biggest rival, Starr Kennedy and her tyrannical stage mother, Theresa.

But Miranda’s got an ace up her sleeve. She’s seven months pregnant with her fourth child, a girl, thank God, and Miranda is going to make damn sure that this one will be a pageant champion, too.

Unbeknownst to her, Miranda’s husband Ray, a nurse with a hobby of popping random pills, has knocked up Courtney, the less than brilliant seventeen-year-old orphan granddaughter of one of his hospice patients. With a wife, a mistress, two jobs, three kids (and two more on the way), a mountain of debt, and no real friends, Ray is desperately hoping his life puts itself back in order.

Meanwhile, the Millers’ two boys are being “homeschooled” by Miranda’s mother, Joan (pronounced Jo-Ann), a well-intentioned widow who spends most of her time playing solitaire and planning a murder with Jesus. Yes, that Jesus.

They’re just your typical dysfunctional American family.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Contemporary, Adult, Audiobook, Chick Lit, Adult Fiction

304 pages, Hardcover

First published March 31, 2015

About the author

Kirker Butler is an Emmy nominated writer and producer. His TV credits include Only Murders in the Building, Family Guy, and Galavant, among others. Kirker grew up in Kentucky, and now lives in Los Angeles with his family.

Reviews

[SUSAN *Nevertheless,she persisted* · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is the funny,irreverent cousin of "Toddlers and Tiaras" and "Honey Boo Boo"
It is tasteless,crass,rude and yet,very entertaining. There are quite a few LOL moments,so, if you are in the mood for light and amusing,this may be the book for you.

[Larry H · Rating 3 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I received an advance copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review.

Kirker Butler's Pretty Ugly leaves no stereotype untouched—pageant moms, philandering husbands, slutty teenage girls, even devoutly religious old women get torn apart in this satire.

When she was a young girl, Miranda Ford won a local beauty pageant. (Well, she didn't quite win, but she eventually got the title.) It changed her life, and when she got married and gave birth to a little girl of her own, Bailey, she was determined to make her a true pageant star in the southeastern U.S. After eight-and-a-half years and more than 300 pageant titles, Miranda is just getting started, but Bailey is tired of sacrificing her life to pageants, tired of parading around in gowns and swimsuits, tired of being judged. Knowing there's no stopping her mother, Bailey starts binge eating in an effort to fatten herself out of contention, but even that doesn't stop Miranda, who is pregnant with another baby girl she has already named Brixton Destiny Miller. (Don't ask.)

Miranda's husband, Ray, has always tolerated her obsession with pageants, despite the financial and emotional toll it has taken on their family. Working two jobs as a nurse and a hospice worker to keep them afloat, Ray pops every random pill he gets his hands on, with often-interesting results. But a growing dependency on nearly every prescription drug imaginable isn't the worst of Ray's problems—his girlfriend, Courtney, the 17-year-old girlfriend of one of his hospice patients, has just found out that she's pregnant.

And then there's Joan, Miranda's devoutly religious mother, who home schools the couple's two sons because Miranda doesn't know what to do with them since she won't enter them in pageants. (Because they'd turn out gay, wouldn't you know?) Joan has frequent conversations with Jesus, and listens to everything He tells her—even when it comes to planning a murder.

Things go from bad—a pregnant Miranda gets into a knock-down, drag-out fistfight with the trashy mother of another pageant contestant while a reality show films it all—to worse—Courtney moves in with Ray and Miranda's family and befriends Miranda, although she plans to destroy everything by forcing Ray to marry her. (She doesn't realize, of course, that Joan—and Jesus—are watching.)

Pretty Ugly is a campy book, part Toddlers and Tiaras, part Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, with a healthy dose of soap opera thrown in for good measure. It's funny in places, ridiculous in others, and I thought the story was drawn out a bit too long, but Butler, a writer and producer whose credits include Family Guy, clearly knows what he's doing.

If you've ever wondered what the people involved in kiddie pageants are like but can't bring yourself to watch a reality show, this is the next best thing. More ridiculous than sublime, it's sure to make you chuckle—and/or offend you.

See all of my reviews (and other stuff) at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....

[Donna Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's vulgar, utterly tasteless, and very, very funny. Pretty Ugly, by Kirker Butler, a man who is no stranger to edgy comedy, skewers a whole herd of sacred cows within the confines of its humble two covers. Just be ready!

Thank you and thank you again to St. Martins Press and Net Galley for the DRC.

The Millers are a good Christian family. Naturally, they would never send their children to public schools; instead, they are home-schooled by grandma Joan, who receives personal messages from Jesus, with whom she has a personal relationship. Papa Ray is never home; he works as a nurse, popping whatever narcotics and other prescription meds happen to be lying around, treating them as his own personal escapist lottery.

Miranda, now a mother, was once a beauty queen herself, and she's made daughter Bailey into the family's own teensy beauty queen industry. Hey, who doesn't love a good kiddie pageant?

"Fifty scantily clad prepubescent girls scampered about like the main attraction in a Bangkok coffee shop: sexy children marketed as wholesome family entertainment. The room reeked of anxiety, tanner, and schadenfreude."

Ray has found every conceivable way to avoid going home. He's taken a second job as a hospice nurse, working five nights weekly, imbibing his patients' pain medications and waiting for them to die so he can put another notch on his belt.

And now there's Courtney.

This won't be a novel to everyone's taste, but if you lean slightly to the left and like your humor dark, Butler's soon-to-be-released gem may be right up your alley!

[Jennifer Masterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won Pretty Ugly in a First Reads Giveaway. Thank you St. Martin's Press! 4.5 Stars. It was downright hysterical! It's twisted and ridiculous but I loved it. I've never seen Honey Boo Boo or Toddlers and Tiaras but I'm guessing I should check them out because I enjoyed reading this.

Miranda is a pregnant pageant mom living vicariously through her child, Bailey, who is so done with the pageant thing after being a very successful 9 year old beauty queen. The Miller's are one big dysfunctional Southern family filled with a cheating (with a teenager! ), pill popping husband, a grandma who receives personal messages from Jesus and lots of debt! Poor Bailey just wanted to eat while her mother is trying to get her to look sexier in photos! It's so crazy! There are no boundaries to Pretty Ugly's crazy!

This would be a perfect read for someone who enjoys twisted humor. It helped me get through a stressful few days. It's a fast, easy read and just tasteless fun! Recommended!

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Backstage at the 29th Annual Little Most Beautiful Princess Pageant was a dollhouse of grown women playing with smaller versions of their ideal selves. Fifty scantily clad prepubescent girls scampered about like the main attraction in a Bangkok coffee shop: sexy children marketed as wholesome family entertainment. The room reeked of anxiety, self-tanner, and schadenfreude.”

I noticed more than a few reviews of this book were offended by its tastelessness, vulgarity, and downright ungodliness. If you’ll notice on the jacket cover, the author is a writer and producer for the show Family Guy. It’s not that much of a stretch of the imagination to assume that his writing in this book would be similar, eh? Probably have some race and sex jokes in it and maybe flippantly tear apart other politically correct standards. So if the show Family Guy is too much for you and the casual mention of drugs and flaccid penises makes you blush, this book probably isn’t for you. I don’t particularly like the show, but that’s because I find the jokes stupid and repetitive. I did however used to binge watch Toddlers & Tiaras on TLC, which is one of the many things this book satirizes. It reads much like an epic saga of a reality TV show, offering points of view from all the incredibly fucked-up characters: 9-yr-old Bailey, who doesn’t want to compete in pageants anymore so she starts binge eating with an admirable determination; grandma Joan (pronounced “Jo-Ann”), who has regular conversations with Jesus in her spectacularly vivid senility; Miranda, the mother of 1 girl she worships and 2 boys she doesn’t know what to do with (and another baby on the way), who desperately wants to re-live her glory days as a pageant queen; and then there’s misguided, pill-popping Ray, the poor bastard who has to deal with all this shit. See? It sounds like a zany, wild romp of a sitcom, with plenty of boobs and cuss words to keep the audience engaged. It was entertaining enough and would make a good beach read or something to pass the time of a commute. If you like Seth MacFarlane’s particular brand of humor, you’ll probably like this.

[Rob · Rating 5 out of 5]

The debut novel of TV writer and producer, Kirker Butler (Family Guy, Cleveland Show, The Neighbors, Galavant) tackles the world of beauty pageants for children. It focuses on the Millers, a misfit family from the south, whose mom Miranda, has delusions of grandeur for her increasingly disinterested daughter, Bailey. Bailey has had a string of successes on the pageant circuit (which Butler humorously details throughout the novel with details about the decidedly adult prizes she has won, including the name and location of the pageant), but has become so frustrated with the demands placed on her that she is purposely gaining weight and not following the exercise routine her mother has laid out for her. Meanwhile, back at home, Miranda's husband Ray is trying to stave off their ever increasing debt and his own personal demons by working two jobs. One as a nurse at a hospital where he makes a hobby of acquiring and taking any free medication he can find (regardless of its prescribed use) and at a hospice, where he falls under the spell of Courtney, an underage granddaughter of a patient who has a devastating surprise for him. Miranda's mom Joan stays home with Miranda's two boys and homeschools them, while following the instructions of Jesus, who speaks to her directly.

Butler's TV legacy led me to believe he might go for the easy jokes at the expense of a world that most of us ridicule, but he actually turns these characters into real and likable people. While he doesn't go easy on mocking the rituals and destructive nature of these pageants, Kirker, a Kentucky native, nails the small town dreams and hardships of the people in the area.

I enjoyed Pretty Ugly greatly. It was not the madcap romp I expected, but instead pulls its humor mostly from the details and sharp observations Butler spreads throughout the book. Butler manages to take this group of misfits with some terrible misdeeds and make us care about what happens to all of them. Highly recommended.

(NOTE: I received a review ARC of the book from Netgalley.)

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I judged this book by its cover. Received through my postal book group, I did not want to read this book. I do not watch reality TV. I have never watched Honey Boo Boo or Toddlers and Tiaras or Family Guy (which the author works on). All seem vulgar to me. This book isn't different, but it was terrible and funny at the same time. I didn't like any of the characters. Looking at the forest, rather than the individual trees, made for a good read.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so wrong , which is to say so right, for so many reasons!
Utterly hilarious in it's dysfunction.
I looooved it. From the first page I was laughing out loud, and I didn't pause until I had finished it.
I do, however, offer the caution that if your sense of humor is not in a Family Guy, South Park, "so horrible it's hilarious" vein, this book might not be for you.
For those who laugh at the completely horrid (because, let's face it, what other response is there?) I predict this will become an instant classic.

[Lois Egenes · Rating 1 out of 5]

Probably one of the worst books I've ever read, and I read a lot.

The plot was lame and confirmed what many believe about the south. Poor taste, disgusting characters, terrible situations. I felt that it was so bad it had to get better but it never did. I learned that I would never need to read another of this author's books. I feel it was a real insult to those in the nursing field.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ha!! What a train wreck of a family this book was. I haven't seen a more dysfunctional family. I got more than a few chuckles out their antics. Good book, reads fast and very entertaining.

Thank you St. Martin's Press and Net Galley for providing me with a free e-galley in exchange for an honest review.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I laughed out loud numerous times at this book which was like a bad train wreck where you just can't stop looking. Loved how one singular ludicrous event turned out to just be just a small piece of a bigger and more even more ludicrous event.

[Jamie Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I usually rate books, but hardly ever comment on them. This book made me laugh out loud SO many times. And maybe it’s bc I love crude humor like Family Guy bc it definitely is not PC. However, I listened to this on Audible during the Covid Pandemic and it really was a welcome escape for a few minutes each day!

[Abby Pauly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although there were a couple points where my eyes glazed over from repetition these characters had me hooked. I absolutely hate the majority of them, and I loved it. 4.3 ⭐️s!

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a person living in these times, I am surrounded (and sometimes assaulted) by beauty and reality tv. From Botched (where two doctors who were or were once married to Real Housewives stars fix plastic surgery)to The Swan (where plastic surgery is done on someone to make them beautiful), producers have made beauty intrinsically a part of reality tv. However, it wasn’t until Toddlers and Tiaras that we saw just how ugly the beauty could be. The series, featuring toddlers and their momagers shows the dark and ugly underbelly behind the scenes—it is this world that provides the backdrop for Kirker Butler’s Pretty Ugly.

Bailey Ford is a nine year old, doing all she can to get her mother, Miranda, to allow her to retire from the world of beauty pageants. She’s gained weight and spends her elliptical sessions sneaking chocolate bars. Miranda, pregnant with her second daughter, Brixton (the next pageant queen) has time only to focus on all things pageant. So much so that her husband, Ray, pulls off two jobs, a mistress and a pretty troubling drug addiction without Miranda suspecting anything. Miranda’s mother, Joan (pronounced Jo-Ann) spends her days ‘homeschooling’ Miranda and Ray’s two boys via television wrestling and listening to Jesus’ sound advice—because Jesus is the only one who listens to Joan. Suddenly, when Ray’s best kept secrets start to spill into their daily lives, their whole world is changed—but will it be for the better?

For a dark literary comedy, Pretty Ugly takes the cake. Kirker Butler’s writing style is similar to Chuck Palaniuk, but with a bit of Carl Hiaasen mixed in. I did not expect this to be as compelling as it was, but not only was I impressed, I decided to add future Butler titles to my watchlist.

As characters go, the most growth was exhibited by Miranda and Ray’s girlfriend, Courtney. While Courtney starts off the novel as Ray’s 17-year-old mistress, without spoiling anything, she ends the novel very differently. Each of the women were pretty vapid at the beginning of the book, but throughout the course of the novel’s events, they each grow in a believeable and organic way—it is a far cry from their awful introductions.

I expected to feel sorry for the children, especially Bailey. When Bailey voices her request to retire from pageants, she is able to retire (it also helps that Miranda does something pretty awful). The boys, whom have been overlooked simply because of their gender are non-characters in Pretty Ugly.

As previously stated, I would love to read more from Kirker Butler, and am currently looking for something in a similar vein, or in a similar setting.

Thanks to Thomas Dunne Books (St Martins Press), I was given an ecopy to read in exchange for my honest review. You can pick up Pretty Ugly by Kirker Butler today at your favorite retailer—it is available in hardcover or ebook form.

[Sasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my gosh this book is hilarious!! I was cackling in public, in bed with my sleeping hotel roomie (what? the hotel got screwed up, no big), grabbing a bite, sitting alone at work.. Kirker Butler, creator of Family Guy, definitely knows how to get a chuckle or a belly laugh out of his audience, and I'm so glad that it translated in book form.

So the story is of an ultimate dysfunctional family - my favorite. Miranda, the matriarch, sort of won a pageant back in the day, and is forcing her daughter, Bailey, to participate in as many pageants as possible to relive the glory. Bailey is getting real tired of her shit, so is secretly fattening herself up so that her mother is too embarrassed to put her up in any more pageants. Because fat girls become pathetic charity cases, you see.

Meanwhile, Miranda's husband - a failed doctor/nurse/hospice worker - is going around popping all kinds of pills and banging his client's under-age grandkid. But it's okay because he never hit on her - he just never said no to her advances! Miranda's mother, whose knees are crumbling into powder, struggles on to fail at homeschooling Miranda's unwanted boys while juggling her increasingly sketchy conversations with Jesus Himself. There are other plot lines too, and when everything comes together in a hair-pulling, tooth-knocking, screaming and bloody mess, it's purely glorious.

There are many classless moments, some gross-out humor and many clever writing gems.

Such as

Storming to the freezer, she pulled out a three-pound block of ice that encased the family's last usable credit card. A financial adviser had suggested she and Ray freeze their cards to help reduce impulse spending and rein in their mounting debt.

or

'Are you saying I'm not worldly? I've been to Cancun! Twice! I am totally worldly!'

and

Ray felt like he was being pulled underwater. He needed a plan, something simple and effective, like murder but not murder.

There are more, but you get the gist. The whole book is written like this. Yeah, it often relies on juvenile humor and puns, but there you go. Now you know how mature I really am.

While Butler is pointing his finger and laughing his ass off at these people, he also has a warm spot for them in his heart. I ended up rooting for everyone, and that's a sign of excellence in a book written about horrible people (such as this one, or Chum). The humanity, even when presented in a stereotypical character's body, shines through with beauty and ugliness. JUST LIKE A BEAUTY PAGEANT OMG.

But yeah, read this!

-I received an ebook from the publisher in exchange for an honest review-

[Cynthia (Bingeing On Books) · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first thing you should know about this book is that it is written by the creator of Family Guy so you know it's going to be twisted. If twisted is what you are looking for, then this is the book for you. Miranda is pregnant and is the stage mother to end all stage mothers. Her daughter, Bailey, has won more crowns than she can even count. She wants to retire but knows her mother won't allow it so she secretly skips workouts and binges on junk food to gain as much weight as possible. That's okay though because Miranda has big plans for her unborn daughter. Miranda's husband, Ray, works as many hours as he possibly can, both to pay for all the pageants Bailey competes in and to spend as much time away from home as possible. He is also a pill addict nurse who is juggling an affair with the seventeen year old granddaughter of one of his hospice patients. Joan is Miranda's mother and has delusions of Jesus actually speaking to her. The author also delves into Courtney's point of view (the mistress). Courtney is selfish, deluded and incredibly naive.

As you can see, there is really no sympathetic character in the book . . . except for the children of course. Miranda actually tells Bailey that it is a shame she isn't "blessed" with an eating disorder so she can remain thin. Little does she know, Bailey is well on her way to an eating disorder, just not the kind of eating disorder Miranda would prefer. Miranda and Ray also have two sons, who Miranda barely acknowledges. If the child isn't a girl she can dress up and parade around, she isn't interested. There is so much craziness and insanity going on in this book that it can seem pretty overwhelming at times. There wasn't one single character that I didn't want to shake. But I think that's the point of the book. Kirker Butler takes everything you think you know about stage moms, cheating husbands, young teenage girls, pageantry, and exaggerates it to the thousandth degree. Yes, some parts of the book made me angry but there were other parts that made me laugh out loud. If you enjoy the humor of Family Guy and South Park, you will enjoy this book.

[Susan (aka Just My Op) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novel about children's beauty pageants in the South is an over-the-top spoof, full of cartoonish characters, stereotypes, and silliness. And it is a little bit one-note. Given all that, I was certainly entertained by it.

Of course, some may take offense. In addition to the stereotypes, there is a woman who holds casual conversations with Jesus and does whatever she's told, common sense never an issue. We're not talking prayer here. There is an adult who has sex with a teen. Sure, she comes on to him, but still...an adult having sex with a teen. And there is some rather crude language. This book will not be everyone's cuppa.

Like many stereotypes, there is sadly a kernel of truth in them, but blown way out of proportion. The beauty queen industry, the trophies, Baily – a little girl whose mother thinks she will be more successful if her photos were sexier, there is desperation and sorrow hidden under the humor.

“If she'd overlooked something as fundamental as her nine-year-old daughter's sex appeal, what else had she missed?”

One of the characters who loses front teeth lives some of the stereotyping first hand, and benefits by it, at least in that person's mind. Pretty funny stuff, again with some truth hidden in it.

While these characters never quite became real to me, I could still appreciate them. I even was touched when Ray, a indiscriminate pill popper, and not coincidentally the one who had sex with a teen, met his child Brixton for the first time – a very touching moment in this silly book.

This funny novel can be quite sad if you look too closely.

I was given an advance copy of this book for review. The quote may have changed in the published edition.

3 1/2 out of 5 stars.

[Carrie Ardoin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my God, this book was so awful in the most amazing way. It tells the story of young Bailey Miller, pageant queen extraordinaire, and her family. Mom Miranda was a queen in her day but pushes bailey to be even better; dad Ray is hardly ever home due to the time he works to cover Bailey's costs; grandmother Joan believes she has a personal line to Jesus and waits for his command and advice in everything she does. Meanwhile, Bailey has decided she is done with the glamour life and sneaks chocolate bars when she's supposed to be practicing.

Nearly every character in this book is a huge caricature of someone Southern--and as a Southern lady myself, I recognized each one. Ray is having an affair with a teenager. Miranda is pregnant but that doesn't stop her from getting in fistfights. I could really go on and on, but I don't want to ruin your reading experience. Trust me, the more you get to know the Miller family, the better (worse?) they get.

Don't go into this book thinking it's all about the pageant scene--actually not much of the story happens at pageants. The family's dynamics are the heart here.

I would imagine some people will be thrown off or quickly dismiss Pretty Ugly because its' characters are such ridiculous stereotypes...don't do this. I promise, you either know or are one of the people in this book, especially if you are a Southerner.

I subtracted one star because there are a few moments that are predictable, and also because sometimes the author goes off on tangents describing the backgrounds of people we don't really need to know about. The book is a standout, however, one of the most unique I've read lately.

[Cherie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you love reality tv shows like Dance Moms, Toddlers & Tiaras and pretty much any other reality show on TLC? Do you tend to laugh at inappropriate times or at inappropriate things? Do you like irreverent humor? Can you find humor in stereotypes and general political incorrectness? If you answered "Yes!" to any of the above questions, I highly recommend Pretty Ugly.

Like a train wreck, this book is so wrong but I just couldn't look away. It's filled with horrible people doing and saying even more horrible things, and I loved every minute of it. In fact, throughout the book, I found myself gasping and covering my mouth in horror while trying very hard not to laugh. This book is filled with moments that will cause you to burst out laughing while at the same time feeling guilty that you find it so humorous. No topic is off limits here: pageants, eating disorders, pregnancy, Jesus, race, drug abuse, adultery, reality television. You name it, it gets skewered.

Overall, I highly enjoyed this and recommend to anyone who enjoys this type of humor. The author has written for shows like Family Guy, The Cleveland Show and Galavant. That should give you an idea of the type of irreverent humor and satire that Kirker Butler is known for. If you don't like those shows, you probably won't like this book. However, if you love that kind of tongue-in-cheek humor like I do, I think you'll find that Pretty Ugly is the best type of guilty pleasure.

Note: I received a copy of this book for free from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is going to be a short review because I'm still not completely sure how I feel about this novel.

Some parts were hilarious, I was genuinely laughing out loud, and there are a few things that are said or shown in here that make me go, "Huh, okay, that's pretty accurate and it's unfortunate." Which, of course, I think is the point because this was written to be a satire. And I knew that going into it and I knew he was a writer for Family Guy, so I sort of knew what I was getting myself into. The over the top stereotypes and insane situations didn't surprise me, but something about it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I'm not bothered by the sexuality or the bad language as some seem to have been, but I'm left wondering if he wrote this after doing genuine research, like spending time backstage at pageants or speaking with pageant contestants/moms, or after watching a couple episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras.

The ending also seemed rushed, like he felt he was running out of pages and wanted to quickly tie everything up.

This would probably be 2.5 if Goodreads did half stars. It wasn't bad and I didn't dislike it, but something about it just felt "okay" and left me feeling unsure. It's definitely not everyone's cup of tea, so I would be cautious to who I recommended this to if I ever did.

[Courtney · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

As someone who secretly loves watching Toddlers and Tiaras on TLC, this book was basically made for me. Kirker Butler's characters truly are "pretty ugly," from stage mom Miranda to pill popping Ray. On the surface just about every characters is unlikable, save the children, which makes sense since this book is labeled satire. However, I was really impressed with how much I started to feel for the characters, even when they had really shitty motives. Ray's a great example. He 100% had everything coming because of his behavior, but I also couldn't help but want to get rid of Courtney for him.

I have a hard time thinking of concrete flaws for this book, but even so I still only put it between a 3 and a 4. I didn't want to put it down, but ultimately it's not a book I'll probably think about much ever again. Very enjoyable, but it's missing that star factor that really elevates a book. Maybe it needs more of a satirical bite? Maybe I was wanting to see more of the crazy pageant side? For a book that's suppose to be about kid pageants, it focuses a whole lot more on Ray and his baby mama drama.

Recommended all the same to anyone who loves trashy tv.

[Mary Kenyon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would have given this book a four-star rating if it hadn't been so vulgar. I detested every character except the ten-year-old girl. Written well enough to keep me reading two hours one evening until I finished it, because there had to be some redeeming value to the characters, didn't there? I only liked the mother slightly more after the birth of her second child...Oops, I mean second daughter, because she pretty much ignored the sons! I laughed out loud at the blurb endorsements because one said they couldn't wait to read the book (um, aren't they supposed to read the book before endorsing it?) and another (famous) endorser wrote that the author asked for a quote, so he gave him one. And evidently THAT was the quote. A quote? Isn't it an endorsement, and does having someone famous give a meaningless quote mean anything at all?

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book turned out to be different than I anticipated, but I still enjoyed it. I was thinking it would be primarily about children in beauty pageants, like Toddlers & Tiaras on TLC. In addition to following Bailey, who is a child pageant star, this book follows her dysfunctional family. Bailey's grandmother is convinced Jesus talks to her, her father is a pill popping nurse who has an affair with an eighteen year old, and her mother is obsessed with beauty pageants. I found this book to be comical, which is what it's supposed to be. But it's also a little sad. I would probably not re-read this title, but I did enjoy reading it.

[Mary Kay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everything that is wrong and twisted in this world is hysterically presented in this novel! Miranda Miller is a former beauty queen who sees a future in her daughter, Bailey. After Bailey retires (by binge eating and gaining weight) Miranda has to come up with Plan B. In the meantime, her husband, Ray, a nurse who has a penchant for stealing and taking a plethora of unidentified pills, stumbles along, making many horrible decisions. Kirker Butler, the author of this novel, has a narrative voice that is authentic and captures the insanity of the beauty pageant circuit.

[wade · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really light, fun read centered in part in the cutthroat world of beauty pageants for little girls and the extremes the contestants mothers go to for their little princesses. This novel is much more than this as a side story develops as the father in the family has an affair with a slightly under aged girl and the complications that this brings to the mix. This book speaks volumes about American's passion to get their moment of celebrity no matter what they have to do to get it. This would make a very funny movie with the right casting.

[Shelleyrae at Book'd Out · Rating 3 out of 5]

A funny though often also tasteless satire featuring a dysfunctional family, Pretty Ugly is a quick read. There is no real plot to speak of but the heavily stereotyped characters including an overbearing mother obsessed with beauty pageants, an adulterous, pill popping husband, a teenage nymphet, and a grandmother who takes orders directly from Jesus, and their various woes are entertaining. Reality TV in print.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was was hysterical in some places and completely over the top ridiculous in others, but that is to be expected for a book written by a former Family Guy staffer. The book completely satirizes America's obsession with reality TV, child beauty pageants, and the quest for the "American Dream" (which, at least in this book, doesn't seem like much of a dream at all). You will hate every single character (except maybe Bailey), but you will laugh a few times.

[Caleb Hoyer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know that I have ever laughed so much while reading a novel. The characters are so dysfunctional, sometimes so despicable, and then surprisingly they reveal unexpected maturity and evolution - which is promptly subverted by more dysfunction. I'm not sure if ultimately the book itself is really tremendous, even though I gave it five stars. But I had a tremendous time reading it, every single time I picked it up, and how often can I actually say that?

[Jennifer Daniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This reminded me of Christopher Moore's early work. Anyone who is secretly a fan of the train wreck, Toddlers & Tiara, would find this book very entertaining. Most of the characters were completely unlikable but oh so fun to read about.

[Angie Shere · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ridiculous characters.....ridiculous situations....a fun read for a rainy afternoon!