What do you think?
Rate this book
The Kids Who Aren't Okay: The Urgent Case for Reimagining Support, Belonging, and Hope in Schools
From a New York Times bestselling authority on education and children’s mental health comes a groundbreaking guide to navigating classroom challenges through an approach that is aimed at meeting kids where they’re at and being responsive to the developmental variability inherent in every classroom.
Over the past two decades, a wide array of societal changes have made it much harder to be a kid. While lots of kids are still doing okay, many more than ever are not. The Kids Who Aren’t Okay opens with sobering statistics on children’s mental higher than ever rates of concerning behaviors at school, anxiety, depression, chronic absenteeism, and suicidality. And educators—who have never felt less safe at school, have experienced significant decreases in job satisfaction, and have left the profession in droves—aren’t doing very well, either.
Child psychologist Dr. Ross Greene, renowned for his pioneering work in education and originator of the evidence-based Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model (which has transformed practices in countless families, schools, psychiatric units, and residential and juvenile detention settings), has worked in and with schools across the globe for decades. He argues that the moment demands that we renew our focus on developmental variability and meeting every student where they’re at, and that we take a hard look at our structures, practices, and mentalities at school and make practical, actionable, realistic changes that benefit all kids and educators. These changes must include shifting to interventions that are proactive (early) rather than reactive (late), solutions that are collaborative rather than unilateral, and focused on the problems that are causing concerning behaviors (and solving them) rather than behaviors (and modifying them).
Building on the principles introduced in his landmark, bestselling book, Lost at School, Greene equips educators and caregivers with the tools to foster safer, more supportive, inclusive learning environments. In easy-to-understand, practical terms, Greene provides a clear road map for turning things around, complete with vignettes, case studies, and the voices of educators who’ve done it. The Kids Who Aren’t Okay is a vital resource, providing hope and guidance as schools navigate the new normal.
Over the past two decades, a wide array of societal changes have made it much harder to be a kid. While lots of kids are still doing okay, many more than ever are not. The Kids Who Aren’t Okay opens with sobering statistics on children’s mental higher than ever rates of concerning behaviors at school, anxiety, depression, chronic absenteeism, and suicidality. And educators—who have never felt less safe at school, have experienced significant decreases in job satisfaction, and have left the profession in droves—aren’t doing very well, either.
Child psychologist Dr. Ross Greene, renowned for his pioneering work in education and originator of the evidence-based Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model (which has transformed practices in countless families, schools, psychiatric units, and residential and juvenile detention settings), has worked in and with schools across the globe for decades. He argues that the moment demands that we renew our focus on developmental variability and meeting every student where they’re at, and that we take a hard look at our structures, practices, and mentalities at school and make practical, actionable, realistic changes that benefit all kids and educators. These changes must include shifting to interventions that are proactive (early) rather than reactive (late), solutions that are collaborative rather than unilateral, and focused on the problems that are causing concerning behaviors (and solving them) rather than behaviors (and modifying them).
Building on the principles introduced in his landmark, bestselling book, Lost at School, Greene equips educators and caregivers with the tools to foster safer, more supportive, inclusive learning environments. In easy-to-understand, practical terms, Greene provides a clear road map for turning things around, complete with vignettes, case studies, and the voices of educators who’ve done it. The Kids Who Aren’t Okay is a vital resource, providing hope and guidance as schools navigate the new normal.
240 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 24, 2026
About the author
Ross W. Greene
13 books242 followersDr. Ross Greene is the New York Times bestselling author of the influential books The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Raising Human Beings, and Lost & Found. He is the originator of the innovative, evidence-based treatment approach called Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) described in these books. The CPS model provides a compassionate, accurate understanding of behavioral challenges and an evidence-based, non-punitive, non-adversarial approach for reducing challenging episodes, solving problems, improving communication, and repairing relationships.
Dr. Greene was on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now founding director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance (www.livesinthebalance.org), which provides free, web-based resources on his approach and advocates on behalf of kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges and their parents, teachers, and other caregivers. He is also adjunct Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and adjunct Professor in the Faculty of Science at the University of Technology Sydney in Australia. The many research papers documenting the effectiveness of the CPS model can also be found on the Lives in the Balance website. Dr. Greene and his colleagues consult extensively to families, schools, inpatient psychiatry units, and residential and juvenile detention facilities, and lecture widely throughout the world (visit www.cpsconnection.com for a complete listing of learning and training options). Dr. Greene has been featured in a wide range of media, including The Oprah Show, Good Morning America, The Morning Show, National Public Radio, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, and Mother Jones magazine. He is also Executive Producer of the forthcoming feature-length documentary film The Kids We Lose (www.thekidswelose.com), being produced by Lives in the Balance and filmed by Lone Wolf Media. He lives in Portland, Maine.
Dr. Greene was on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now founding director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance (www.livesinthebalance.org), which provides free, web-based resources on his approach and advocates on behalf of kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges and their parents, teachers, and other caregivers. He is also adjunct Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and adjunct Professor in the Faculty of Science at the University of Technology Sydney in Australia. The many research papers documenting the effectiveness of the CPS model can also be found on the Lives in the Balance website. Dr. Greene and his colleagues consult extensively to families, schools, inpatient psychiatry units, and residential and juvenile detention facilities, and lecture widely throughout the world (visit www.cpsconnection.com for a complete listing of learning and training options). Dr. Greene has been featured in a wide range of media, including The Oprah Show, Good Morning America, The Morning Show, National Public Radio, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, and Mother Jones magazine. He is also Executive Producer of the forthcoming feature-length documentary film The Kids We Lose (www.thekidswelose.com), being produced by Lives in the Balance and filmed by Lone Wolf Media. He lives in Portland, Maine.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
May 3, 2026
This book wasn’t written for me, it’s written for educators. I picked it up because there’s been a debate about discipline in schools among some of my friends. This follows several incidents where it seemed like perpetrators were getting off lightly. I appreciated the overview of the approach as it gave me insight into what the school is trying to do. That said, this is written at a very basic reading level which annoyed me. The anecdotes are the most interesting, but there’s not enough of them. And oddly, the font size changes in the Q&A sections, which I found dry at best, condescending at worst. Just an uneven experience all told.
April 16, 2026
Every Ross Greene book is such a breath of fresh air!!!
March 1, 2026
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ System-Focused + Urgent
The Kids Who Aren’t OK by Ross Greene should be read by every educator and policymaker.
Greene argues that many of the behavioral and mental health crises we’re seeing in children aren’t the result of defiance or poor character — they’re the result of lagging skills and systems that rely too heavily on punishment instead of problem-solving.
This book helped me see behavior differently — not as something to control, but as something to understand. The CPS model has brought more calm and connection into our home. We still have hard days (it’s a marathon, not a sprint), but we’re catching things earlier and rebuilding trust instead of escalating conflict.
My biggest question after reading: how do we help schools adopt this more urgently? Because so many kids are not okay — and this feels like a path forward.
The Kids Who Aren’t OK by Ross Greene should be read by every educator and policymaker.
Greene argues that many of the behavioral and mental health crises we’re seeing in children aren’t the result of defiance or poor character — they’re the result of lagging skills and systems that rely too heavily on punishment instead of problem-solving.
This book helped me see behavior differently — not as something to control, but as something to understand. The CPS model has brought more calm and connection into our home. We still have hard days (it’s a marathon, not a sprint), but we’re catching things earlier and rebuilding trust instead of escalating conflict.
My biggest question after reading: how do we help schools adopt this more urgently? Because so many kids are not okay — and this feels like a path forward.
April 2, 2026
Would love to be on the same page with coworkers on this one. Behaviors are just unlucky responses !
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
I have read "The Explosive Child" and "Lost at School" previously, which are referenced in this book, especially the Collaborative & Proactive Solution (CPS) method. It would help to have learned about CPS prior to reading this book, as it is referenced and discussed in later chapters. I often find myself nodding along with Ross Greene when he discusses the challenges that educators and staff face today in schools. I identify with his focus on the fact that many of our techniques and trainings are "late" and more about managing behaviors than looking backward to figure out why behaviors are happening and being proactive in stopping them before they start. There is far less training done to help identify skill deficits and have that process be a part of problem-solving. The Assessment of Skills & Unsolved Problems (ASUP) was designed by Greene to help in this process, and can be found on his website LivesInTheBalance.org.
My biggest struggle with this book and Greene's other suggestions is that most current school systems are not designed for them. He acknowledges that it requires systems changes coming from the top to be effective. These are far from easy tasks and would take years of educators and administrators to work on rewriting how things are done. I could see this being done in smaller settings, such as private schools and specialized programs, but far more difficult in larger settings with various bodies of oversight and competing initiatives. With states and towns focused on test scores and new curricula, it is far less likely that this could or would be prioritized. I left this book thinking that it was more of a "pie in the sky" dream rather than something I could use.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for selecting me to read an advanced copy of this book.
My biggest struggle with this book and Greene's other suggestions is that most current school systems are not designed for them. He acknowledges that it requires systems changes coming from the top to be effective. These are far from easy tasks and would take years of educators and administrators to work on rewriting how things are done. I could see this being done in smaller settings, such as private schools and specialized programs, but far more difficult in larger settings with various bodies of oversight and competing initiatives. With states and towns focused on test scores and new curricula, it is far less likely that this could or would be prioritized. I left this book thinking that it was more of a "pie in the sky" dream rather than something I could use.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for selecting me to read an advanced copy of this book.
October 29, 2025
** ARC Review **
Ross Greene delivers another vital, insightful book for understanding and helping struggling kids, and it could not be more timely. He expands on his proven Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model with sobering statistics and firsthand accounts, highlighting the urgent need for a more empathetic, skill-based approach in schools. While the book provides an excellent theoretical framework and practical guidance, some readers might find the scope of the problem so large and daunting that actionable steps feel harder to implement in their own specific contexts. Still, this is a compassionate and essential resource for any educator or parent seeking to better support children in today's challenging environment.
Ross Greene delivers another vital, insightful book for understanding and helping struggling kids, and it could not be more timely. He expands on his proven Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model with sobering statistics and firsthand accounts, highlighting the urgent need for a more empathetic, skill-based approach in schools. While the book provides an excellent theoretical framework and practical guidance, some readers might find the scope of the problem so large and daunting that actionable steps feel harder to implement in their own specific contexts. Still, this is a compassionate and essential resource for any educator or parent seeking to better support children in today's challenging environment.
May 2, 2026
The author wrote a number of books about education, including Lost at School, as he is the originator of the CPS (Collaborative & Proactive Solutions) Model. As a clinical psychologist he advocates meeting every student where they're at early so "concerning behaviors" are less apt to arise. He maintains his model is evidence-based and gives numerous examples of practicing that model. Livesinthebalance.org has more information about the model, implementation and the book. I would encourage every adult working with children/students to read this book regardless of whether they decide to strictly adhere to the model or not. He also addresses the "there is not enough time to collaborate with the student" as a problem/excuse that has some various solutions.
Review of advance copy received from Author
Excellent book about how to help struggling and vulnerable children ❤️
Review of advance copy received from Netgalley
A clear and accessible guide to an important model for collaborative problem solving in schools.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews