My Practices of Mothering: How to Enjoy Mothering Tinies

by Sarah Bessey

We had three babies in four-and-a-half years. And a few years ago, I began to write through the stuff that I do (or try to do) to enjoy the day-to-day life with a houseful of tinies. Three years later, it remains one of the most popular series of posts I've ever done at my blog. And now it's an e-book.

The book isn't about "advice" or making a one-size-fits-all version of motherhood. It certainly isn't about heaping more guilt or or unattainable standards on anyone. Mothering is very, very hard work. It's constant. It's tiring. I've found that mothering tinies exposed the parts of my heart that I could keep politely hidden from general society. It could break me in the morning, but by evening, I would feel like I've never been more fulfilled or happy in my life.

It can also be monotonous (that’s something not too many people will tell you – me? I’ll tell you.) And do you have any idea how many loads of laundry a family of five can generate? (Hint: EPIC AMOUNTS OF LAUNDRY.)

But the truth is: I enjoy mothering. I enjoy it a lot. In fact, I love this which surprised me. Even the daily quotidian rhythms of it are good, good, good.

I even enjoyed those years when I couldn't leave the house without someone sympathetically commenting "Wow, your hands are full."

Not because I have it all figured out and do things right all of the time (I don’t).
Not because I’m the best mother in the world (I’m not).
Not because my tinies are absolutely perfect and the gold standard of childhood (they’re not - trust me).
And not because every day is filled with rainbow-and-unicorns-and-cupcakes (I wish).

No, the reason I enjoy mothering tinies on the day-to-day grind is mainly because I do this stuff. And it helps me.

I call them Practices because that’s what us Christians have often called spiritual disciplines, but really they’re just things I do over and over again, kneading them like yeast into my life. Everyone has their own "practices." Most of mine come from my own parents but then I picked up a few others from books or friends or mentors. And my practices may not work for you and your family. After all, this is just what worked for me, right then, in that season.

As my tinies grow up, my practices shift and change and evolve, as they should. Your own practices will do that, too.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Memoir

102 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 26, 2014

About the author

SARAH BESSEY is a Canadian writer whose work creates spaces of welcome where questions are honoured, stories matter, and resilient hope is practiced, one small faithful act at a time. She is the bestselling author of five books including "Field Notes for the Wilderness: Practices for an Evolving Faith" and the New York Times bestseller "A Rhythm of Prayer." Sarah also writes the bestselling weekly Substack newsletter Field Notes.

Living in Calgary, Alberta with her family, she writes from the ordinary rhythms of life with warmth and theological generosity. You can find her online at sarahbessey.com.

Reviews

[Amy Kannel · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of blog posts, this e-book was short and simple but encouraging and helpful. It validated/affirmed me in parenting practices we have chosen that are a bit outside the conservative Christian mainstream, and gave me some good reminders or fresh ideas. I appreciate Bessey's tone here and find it 1000% more winsome and grace-filled than, say, Rachel Jankovic. Though I still maintain that Bessey's incessant referral to her children as "tinies," with no variation, grates on me. 3.5 stars.

[Abby]

An encouraging little e-book that I really appreciated as a mother of two babies. I feel inspired and blessed by Sarah's words and example.

[Andrea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I very much enjoyed this little ebook, which is really just a collection of blog posts that Sarah Bessey wrote a while back and collected (and that shows - the book could use a little more editing in places). This book feels like sitting down with a really kind friend over a cup of tea or coffee and hearing her best advice for enjoying mothering. I liked the arrangement and brevity of this book, and I can see myself referring back to it for encouragement. Doesn't mean readers will agree with every last piece of advice, but this book is one of those that, as the author herself notes in the Recommended Books section at the end, gives "tools, insights, resources, language, freedom, faith, and trust in our instincts."

[Karly Noelle Abreu White · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the format of this book is a little rough (it's a series of blog posts edited together), the content is solid. It's essentially a series of tips and advice from Sarah Bessey, author of Jesus Feminist and her award-winning blog, about how she parents her children. It's written in Bessey's trademark style; friendly, warm, and conversational, and while she definitely has her own opinions, I can respect her tone. Her advice here is both about the practical aspects of parenting- such as discipline and attachment- as well as the spiritual aspects. I definitely prefer the latter chapters, but there is value in her warm approach, even if you don't parent in the same way. It's short and sweet, and while maybe not a must-read for parenting, a great supplement for new- and old- mamas.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sweet little book. The author doesn't have special needs children, though, so some of her assumptions (if you just do this your kids will respond this way) isn't true for everyone. And many spectrum children don't get diagnosed until they're older so parents aren't aware of why mainstream methods don't work. Just read with a grain of salt if you're looking for specific parenting advice.

[Rebekah O'Dell · Rating 4 out of 5]

These tiny essays are the perfect size for reading in the midst of the chaos of parenting. Encouraging, realistic, and balanced -- this is a great little volume that I expect I'll reread down the road.

[Shannan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book like a daily devotional; one chapter a day. Yes, this is a Christian author but I wouldn't say it is overly religious. You could easily read this even if you don't have an overly active spiritual life. I'm pretty much out of the chapter of my life of raising "tinies", but as a parent education teacher, I would agree with many of the principles she shares in this book. Actually, I would say that this is a MUST READ for parents of children four and younger. But since we are all individuals and we all do things a bit differently from each other, I would say that there are two major themes in her book that she repeats often that I simply do not agree with. It's simply not my parenting style. She does say that she does these things to make HER parenting easier but I know for a fact if I did them it would make MY parenting practice harder. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there are enough different pieces of advice in this book that I'm sure you could find a few that would be inspirational to you. Doubtful it is everything in this book.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

A gentle book both towards mothers and babies. A good reminder that there is no one perfect way to parent, and that happy mommas make for happy babies.

As a single mom, some of the stories feel like they're coming from a place of privilege that is no longer accessible to me. And yet, I'm happy for the author; would that we all had that kind of support. I can choose to be kind to myself and my baby in the place I find myself.

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good quick read

This was a great book to remind me that I'm not alone in this big world of mothering. Sarah parents similarly to how I parent, and I found myself echoing a lot of what she wrote. Not a lot of "new" stuff, but a good read anyway.

[Kelsy Morrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't normally like to read parenting books written by folks still in the thick of it. This is the exception. This is a short, refreshing read. It's the kind of book that I want to read at everyone. I know I'll refer to it again.

[Alisha]

I enjoyed it. It was nice to sit and reflect and read from a voice that spoke with clarity about the experience of mothering in better words than I could gather myself. My sister gave it to me for Mother's Day, 2015.

[Nicole Mayberry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely

A lovely pep talk for anyone who finds themselves around children!
For mother's and teachers alike, Sarah Bessey's words remind us the power of kindness, boundaries, and silliness when raising children.

[Marcia Van Camp]

I liked that this was short and sweet. A couple of good points to remind you to focus on what's important when mothering. Let go of the little things and try to be Christlike.