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Clementine Crane Prefers Not To: A Novel
“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” hits perimenopause in this razor-sharp, wickedly funny novel about one woman’s awakening in a patriarchal world.
For years, Clementine Crane has been the invisible force holding her Byrock, Massachusetts, home together—juggling three demanding kids, a husband who’s more hindrance than help, a soul-crushing boss at the local library, and a mountain of invisible tasks reserved for women.
But when her first hot flash hits, marking the onset of perimenopause, Clementine starts to wonder: When is enough, enough? As the pressures mount and mysterious, almost mythic signs of the extraordinary punctuate her days, she takes a stand—one small refusal at a time. With a defiant “I prefer not to,” she embarks on a journey to reclaim her voice and identity.
Overwhelmed and fed up, Clementine goes on strike, ditching obligations, setting boundaries, and venting her frustrations on social media. When her raw, hilarious, and unexpectedly poignant videos go viral, Clementine finds herself at the center of a movement she never saw coming.
With her irreverent best friend by her side, Clementine isn’t just pushing back—she’s rewriting the rules. This laugh-out-loud, heart-on-sleeve adventure is a battle cry for every woman ready to live life on her own terms.
For years, Clementine Crane has been the invisible force holding her Byrock, Massachusetts, home together—juggling three demanding kids, a husband who’s more hindrance than help, a soul-crushing boss at the local library, and a mountain of invisible tasks reserved for women.
But when her first hot flash hits, marking the onset of perimenopause, Clementine starts to wonder: When is enough, enough? As the pressures mount and mysterious, almost mythic signs of the extraordinary punctuate her days, she takes a stand—one small refusal at a time. With a defiant “I prefer not to,” she embarks on a journey to reclaim her voice and identity.
Overwhelmed and fed up, Clementine goes on strike, ditching obligations, setting boundaries, and venting her frustrations on social media. When her raw, hilarious, and unexpectedly poignant videos go viral, Clementine finds herself at the center of a movement she never saw coming.
With her irreverent best friend by her side, Clementine isn’t just pushing back—she’s rewriting the rules. This laugh-out-loud, heart-on-sleeve adventure is a battle cry for every woman ready to live life on her own terms.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published October 14, 2025
79 people are currently reading
9748 people want to read
About the author
Kristin Bair O'Keeffe
4 books223 followersKristin Bair writes fiercely—and humorously—about women navigating (peri)menopause, marriage, motherhood, the mental load, and identity. Her fourth novel, Clementine Crane Prefers Not To, tells the story of a woman radicalized against the patriarchy by her very first hot flash. It is a blazing anthem for anyone ready to rewrite the rules. (coming October 14, 2025)
Her third novel, Agatha Arch Is Afraid of Everything, was named a Best New Book by People magazine. She is also the author of The Art of Floating and Thirsty, as well as numerous essays about China, bears, adoption, off-the-plot expats, and more. Her work has appeared in The Gettysburg Review, The Baltimore Review, The Manifest-Station, Flying: Journal of Writing and Environment, The Christian Science Monitor, Poets & Writers Magazine, Writer’s Digest, and other publications.
With a BA from Indiana University and an MFA in fiction writing from Columbia College Chicago, Kristin has a proven track record of helping writers find their voices and shape their strongest material. She currently teaches in the MA in Writing Program at Johns Hopkins University and annually at the Yale Writers’ Workshop.
In addition, she is an Associate Fiction Editor for Pangyrus, a literary magazine based in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
A native Pittsburgher, Kristin now lives north of Boston with her husband and two kiddos. Follow her on TikTok and Instagram: @kbairokeeffe.
Her third novel, Agatha Arch Is Afraid of Everything, was named a Best New Book by People magazine. She is also the author of The Art of Floating and Thirsty, as well as numerous essays about China, bears, adoption, off-the-plot expats, and more. Her work has appeared in The Gettysburg Review, The Baltimore Review, The Manifest-Station, Flying: Journal of Writing and Environment, The Christian Science Monitor, Poets & Writers Magazine, Writer’s Digest, and other publications.
With a BA from Indiana University and an MFA in fiction writing from Columbia College Chicago, Kristin has a proven track record of helping writers find their voices and shape their strongest material. She currently teaches in the MA in Writing Program at Johns Hopkins University and annually at the Yale Writers’ Workshop.
In addition, she is an Associate Fiction Editor for Pangyrus, a literary magazine based in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
A native Pittsburgher, Kristin now lives north of Boston with her husband and two kiddos. Follow her on TikTok and Instagram: @kbairokeeffe.
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September 27, 2025
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I liked this book for the most part. It's about a woman of a certain age who decides that she's had enough of doing "women's work" and goes on strike. Clementine has three children—four if you count her husband. She works in a library and has reached her limit with family demands, a stand-still job, and perimenopause. She finally finds her spine and sets some boundaries, posting it all on social media. Then, it goes viral.
The novel works in its portrayal of the harried wife and mother who works full-time. I found it very satisfying when she finally said no. The author writes very well about a woman feeling overlooked, overworked, and often taken for granted. I enjoyed following Clementine's journey from doormat to viral mom and found it witty, with some very insightful moments. However, the plot often falls into predictable territory, and the viral social media storyline seemed a bit unrealistic. The book's pacing was a bit off and didn't always keep its momentum. Some of Clementine’s actions verged on caricature, and the secondary relationships with her family were underdeveloped. Additionally, certain parts of the narrative feel a bit over the top, which can sometimes undercut the emotional stakes.
Some of the side characters could have had more depth, but the book succeeds as a heartfelt and realistic read about discovering oneself. The story is charming and engaging, so it's perfect for any mom, wife, or employee who has thought of saying, "I prefer not to." Overall, this is a fun read—especially for those who’ve ever felt stretched too thin by life’s demands. It isn't perfect, but it has humour, honesty, and heart. And as a woman who has suffered with extremely severe hot flashes for nine years, I could relate. 🥵🥵🥵
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.
The Book Review Crew Blog
I liked this book for the most part. It's about a woman of a certain age who decides that she's had enough of doing "women's work" and goes on strike. Clementine has three children—four if you count her husband. She works in a library and has reached her limit with family demands, a stand-still job, and perimenopause. She finally finds her spine and sets some boundaries, posting it all on social media. Then, it goes viral.
The novel works in its portrayal of the harried wife and mother who works full-time. I found it very satisfying when she finally said no. The author writes very well about a woman feeling overlooked, overworked, and often taken for granted. I enjoyed following Clementine's journey from doormat to viral mom and found it witty, with some very insightful moments. However, the plot often falls into predictable territory, and the viral social media storyline seemed a bit unrealistic. The book's pacing was a bit off and didn't always keep its momentum. Some of Clementine’s actions verged on caricature, and the secondary relationships with her family were underdeveloped. Additionally, certain parts of the narrative feel a bit over the top, which can sometimes undercut the emotional stakes.
Some of the side characters could have had more depth, but the book succeeds as a heartfelt and realistic read about discovering oneself. The story is charming and engaging, so it's perfect for any mom, wife, or employee who has thought of saying, "I prefer not to." Overall, this is a fun read—especially for those who’ve ever felt stretched too thin by life’s demands. It isn't perfect, but it has humour, honesty, and heart. And as a woman who has suffered with extremely severe hot flashes for nine years, I could relate. 🥵🥵🥵
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.
April 12, 2025
“I prefer not to.” A simple phrase… and Clementine’s brilliantly bold rebellion.
Clementine Crane Prefers Not To is a hilariously honest, refreshingly raw exploration of modern womanhood, told through the voice of a main character who feels like all of us. Clementine isn’t just quirky and overwhelmed—she’s the glue, the lynchpin, the calendar-wielding, errand-running, appointment-booking, family-organising everything-doer. And when she hits her limit (and her first hot flash), it all starts to unravel—in the most gloriously relatable way.
This book had me laughing, nodding, and occasionally yelling, “YES!” at the page. Kristin Bair doesn’t shy away from the emotional toll of invisible labour or the identity earthquake that perimenopause can bring. It’s brutally honest, but also deeply compassionate, and packed with laugh-out-loud moments that make the heavier truths hit even harder.
Clementine’s journey felt like both a breakdown and a breakthrough—and it was such a joy to follow her as she set boundaries, let go of the guilt, and slowly reclaimed herself. The pacing is quick, the tone is spot-on, and the story is exactly the kind of cathartic, empowering read that so many women need.
If you’ve ever felt like the world might fall apart if you stop holding it together—this one’s for you. Honest, hilarious, and long overdue.
Clementine Crane Prefers Not To is a hilariously honest, refreshingly raw exploration of modern womanhood, told through the voice of a main character who feels like all of us. Clementine isn’t just quirky and overwhelmed—she’s the glue, the lynchpin, the calendar-wielding, errand-running, appointment-booking, family-organising everything-doer. And when she hits her limit (and her first hot flash), it all starts to unravel—in the most gloriously relatable way.
This book had me laughing, nodding, and occasionally yelling, “YES!” at the page. Kristin Bair doesn’t shy away from the emotional toll of invisible labour or the identity earthquake that perimenopause can bring. It’s brutally honest, but also deeply compassionate, and packed with laugh-out-loud moments that make the heavier truths hit even harder.
Clementine’s journey felt like both a breakdown and a breakthrough—and it was such a joy to follow her as she set boundaries, let go of the guilt, and slowly reclaimed herself. The pacing is quick, the tone is spot-on, and the story is exactly the kind of cathartic, empowering read that so many women need.
If you’ve ever felt like the world might fall apart if you stop holding it together—this one’s for you. Honest, hilarious, and long overdue.
March 20, 2025
Clementine Crane Prefers Not To
⤷ ⭑⭑.𝟳𝟱 (rounded off rating)
⟢ Where do I start? We follow Clementine Crane, a mother of three (four if you count her husband) who is often taken for granted by everyone around her. If her husband can't find his sweater, he asks Clementine. If her daughter forgets her skates at school, she asks Clementine for help. If her son needs money deposited into his account because he’s always hungry, he turns to Clementine. However, after experiencing a series of hot flashes from perimenopause and sleepless nights due to her husband's loud snoring, she is pushed to her limit and finally decides to stand up for herself and prefers not to.
the summary said that Clementine wanted to one small refusal at a time… but i beg to differ because this woman dropped EVERYTHING.
lose a sweater? make them look for it. forget something at home? sucks for you. however, important matters like going to appointments and feeding your children should never be taken lightly or treated as optional decisions.
there is promise in the story, and i can definitely relate as a person outside because my mother suffers from daily hot flashes, which she talks about VERY openly. and that's what i think was the key issue in Clementine's case, the lack of communication. while she does attempt to address her situation to the household, when it gets brushed off, she chooses to let it go.
another significant moment was when Clementine unintentionally started an "I prefer not to" movement that became a viral TikTok sensation as this related to the women who want to be seen, heard, felt underappreciated, and they call themselves “hot-flashers” because that’s what they’re experiencing—hot flashes.
since this is a character-driven story, i struggled to connect with Clementine because of some erratic choices she makes, like stealing the school’s goldfish, to which she seems oddly attached. there’s also a scene where she sneaks into her ob-gyn’s office as part of one of her “I prefer not to” missions and recruits other women experiencing hot flashes because she disagrees with the doctor’s prognosis. when she introduced herself as “Clementine Crane, Connector of People to Magical Things,” I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. while I understand that these women are trying to express their newfound confidence, i don’t think that was the right approach.
moreover, what threw me off around the 20-30% mark was that she repeatedly refers to herself as the Connector of People to Magical Things on numerous occasions.
“I’m the Connector of People to Magical Things,” she says this twenty-four times—I looked it up. No wonder I make this face every time she introduces herself! 🫤
no matter what, everyone should definitely take a chance on this. even if i can't connect directly, there's a spark of possibility that a hot-flasher reading this might relate with excitement :) trying to connect with someone who may not fully understand your experience is like tuning into a radio station with a weak signal. even if the reception isn't crystal clear, there's still the possibility of picking up some valuable insights or making meaningful connections if you persist and adjust your approach.
Thank you to NetGalley, Alcove Press, and the talented, Kristin Bair for providing an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Please remember that this opinion is my own. The book will be published in October 2025 .ᐟ
⊹₊⋆
pre-read : the cover got me and i heard this is for the ‘when will it be my turn?’ ladies 💐
⤷ ⭑⭑.𝟳𝟱 (rounded off rating)
❝ I am talking about the decremental extinction of a woman’s spirit, my dear child. It’s what happens to women over time … women with kids and needy husbands and bosses who don’t listen and periods and hot flashes and lost dreams and sycamore trees. ❞
⟢ Where do I start? We follow Clementine Crane, a mother of three (four if you count her husband) who is often taken for granted by everyone around her. If her husband can't find his sweater, he asks Clementine. If her daughter forgets her skates at school, she asks Clementine for help. If her son needs money deposited into his account because he’s always hungry, he turns to Clementine. However, after experiencing a series of hot flashes from perimenopause and sleepless nights due to her husband's loud snoring, she is pushed to her limit and finally decides to stand up for herself and prefers not to.
the summary said that Clementine wanted to one small refusal at a time… but i beg to differ because this woman dropped EVERYTHING.
lose a sweater? make them look for it. forget something at home? sucks for you. however, important matters like going to appointments and feeding your children should never be taken lightly or treated as optional decisions.
there is promise in the story, and i can definitely relate as a person outside because my mother suffers from daily hot flashes, which she talks about VERY openly. and that's what i think was the key issue in Clementine's case, the lack of communication. while she does attempt to address her situation to the household, when it gets brushed off, she chooses to let it go.
another significant moment was when Clementine unintentionally started an "I prefer not to" movement that became a viral TikTok sensation as this related to the women who want to be seen, heard, felt underappreciated, and they call themselves “hot-flashers” because that’s what they’re experiencing—hot flashes.
since this is a character-driven story, i struggled to connect with Clementine because of some erratic choices she makes, like stealing the school’s goldfish, to which she seems oddly attached. there’s also a scene where she sneaks into her ob-gyn’s office as part of one of her “I prefer not to” missions and recruits other women experiencing hot flashes because she disagrees with the doctor’s prognosis. when she introduced herself as “Clementine Crane, Connector of People to Magical Things,” I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. while I understand that these women are trying to express their newfound confidence, i don’t think that was the right approach.
moreover, what threw me off around the 20-30% mark was that she repeatedly refers to herself as the Connector of People to Magical Things on numerous occasions.
“I’m the Connector of People to Magical Things,” she says this twenty-four times—I looked it up. No wonder I make this face every time she introduces herself! 🫤
no matter what, everyone should definitely take a chance on this. even if i can't connect directly, there's a spark of possibility that a hot-flasher reading this might relate with excitement :) trying to connect with someone who may not fully understand your experience is like tuning into a radio station with a weak signal. even if the reception isn't crystal clear, there's still the possibility of picking up some valuable insights or making meaningful connections if you persist and adjust your approach.
Thank you to NetGalley, Alcove Press, and the talented, Kristin Bair for providing an advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Please remember that this opinion is my own. The book will be published in October 2025 .ᐟ
⊹₊⋆
pre-read : the cover got me and i heard this is for the ‘when will it be my turn?’ ladies 💐
June 3, 2025
This book fell far short of the description in the promotional synopsis that suggested “sharp wit and keen insight.” I tried several times to engage with the writing and finally decided that this is a DNF for me. Far from being witty, I felt the author was trying too hard to approach a serious topic with contrived humor. The prose is fraught with overly exaggerated descriptions of the protagonist’s dilemma and the characterization of her relationships with her husband and children render them obnoxious and portray her as a victim of her own codependence. The scene at the library with her colleagues over organizational titles was plain silly and unrealistic. This novel may be appealing to some readers, but it was not a match for me.
My thanks to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for the privilege of reviewing this book. The opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
This review is being posted immediately to my GoodReads account and will be posted on Amazon upon publication.
My thanks to the author, the publisher, and NetGalley for the privilege of reviewing this book. The opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
This review is being posted immediately to my GoodReads account and will be posted on Amazon upon publication.
October 18, 2025
This book started on a high note but quickly went downhill like a novice skier. Perhaps I received a different ARC than all the others who loved this book. If so, then my disgruntled self must apologize to all who loved it!
If I didn't know any better, I would have said that a man wrote this novel. I've been through perimenopause and menopause, and I'm still having night sweats, but I never went through anything like this, and none of my contemporaries did either. I must say that what might have been humorous at the beginning turned into a parody about a quarter of the way through.
The author followed the parody script with the secondary characters - a clueless, spoiled husband, spoiled rotten, belligerent, hostile and just plain nasty kids. A kidnapped goldfish (why for Pete's sake???) and an unknown animal walking around in the snow, which Clementine thinks is a mammoth. *rolls eyes*. Oh, and let us not forget just how much Clementine HATED snow and her family loved it. You couldn't forget even if you wanted to, since it was brought up so often. I won't even start to talk about snow like that in New England, and yes, I am from there, so I'll just roll my eyes again...
I gave up before finding out what the crashing animal was, though I suspect it was a moose, and I never did find out whether Clem did return the kidnapped goldfish. More's the pity. Even when Clem finally did take matters into her own hands and started to say no to everything, she did it in such a mealy-mouthed way that I can understand why nobody listened to her.
*ARC supplied by the publisher Alcove Press/Crooked Lane Books, the author, and NetGalley.
If I didn't know any better, I would have said that a man wrote this novel. I've been through perimenopause and menopause, and I'm still having night sweats, but I never went through anything like this, and none of my contemporaries did either. I must say that what might have been humorous at the beginning turned into a parody about a quarter of the way through.
The author followed the parody script with the secondary characters - a clueless, spoiled husband, spoiled rotten, belligerent, hostile and just plain nasty kids. A kidnapped goldfish (why for Pete's sake???) and an unknown animal walking around in the snow, which Clementine thinks is a mammoth. *rolls eyes*. Oh, and let us not forget just how much Clementine HATED snow and her family loved it. You couldn't forget even if you wanted to, since it was brought up so often. I won't even start to talk about snow like that in New England, and yes, I am from there, so I'll just roll my eyes again...
I gave up before finding out what the crashing animal was, though I suspect it was a moose, and I never did find out whether Clem did return the kidnapped goldfish. More's the pity. Even when Clem finally did take matters into her own hands and started to say no to everything, she did it in such a mealy-mouthed way that I can understand why nobody listened to her.
*ARC supplied by the publisher Alcove Press/Crooked Lane Books, the author, and NetGalley.
October 9, 2025
This book first caught my attention after I saw the author's TikTok about her new book that centres around how a woman's first hot flash propels her to push back against the patriarchy, and her role as her demanding family's fix-all, do-all drudge.
Clem is an overworked, underappreciated mother/wife/librarian who has begun the frenzied journey into perimenopause with hot flashes, brain fog, irritability and more! Readers get a bird's eye view into this stage of life that people with a uterus will experience. As someone deep in the thick of the perimenopause jungle, I could relate to many of her symptoms although thankfully not to the extreme Clem experienced.
'Doormat' characters are one of my least favourite character types so seeing Clem be at the beck and call of everyone in her life - including at work and her inept husband and kids who are demanding, unappreciative and lacking all basic life skills - was hard to read. Her family members are enigmatic because we only really know them because of their demands on Clem. But it was satisfying when Clem finally finds her voice and her motto 'I prefer not to' changed her life in drastic ways.
The story hits on some great issues and themes (medical community's lack of focus on women's health, misconceptions of perimenopause, societal expectations on women ...), but its slow pace and Clem's often silly, erratic and juvenile actions (fish napping, giraffe costume, holing up in her closet ..) got to be too much for me. I still don't understand what the deal was with the creature walking outside at night. (?)
Overall, I'm a bit conflicted with this book. On the one hand, it was too slow-paced and far-fetched with no characters I felt connected to. But I appreciate how it focuses on perimenopause and the relatable experience for women who feel overburdened, taken for granted and invisible and how it ultimately culminated in a quirky, coming-into-herself journey.
Disclaimer: My sincere thanks to Alcove Press for the complimentary digital advanced copy of this book that was given in exchange for my honest review.
Clem is an overworked, underappreciated mother/wife/librarian who has begun the frenzied journey into perimenopause with hot flashes, brain fog, irritability and more! Readers get a bird's eye view into this stage of life that people with a uterus will experience. As someone deep in the thick of the perimenopause jungle, I could relate to many of her symptoms although thankfully not to the extreme Clem experienced.
'Doormat' characters are one of my least favourite character types so seeing Clem be at the beck and call of everyone in her life - including at work and her inept husband and kids who are demanding, unappreciative and lacking all basic life skills - was hard to read. Her family members are enigmatic because we only really know them because of their demands on Clem. But it was satisfying when Clem finally finds her voice and her motto 'I prefer not to' changed her life in drastic ways.
The story hits on some great issues and themes (medical community's lack of focus on women's health, misconceptions of perimenopause, societal expectations on women ...), but its slow pace and Clem's often silly, erratic and juvenile actions (fish napping, giraffe costume, holing up in her closet ..) got to be too much for me. I still don't understand what the deal was with the creature walking outside at night. (?)
Overall, I'm a bit conflicted with this book. On the one hand, it was too slow-paced and far-fetched with no characters I felt connected to. But I appreciate how it focuses on perimenopause and the relatable experience for women who feel overburdened, taken for granted and invisible and how it ultimately culminated in a quirky, coming-into-herself journey.
Disclaimer: My sincere thanks to Alcove Press for the complimentary digital advanced copy of this book that was given in exchange for my honest review.
October 11, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and Alcove Press for an advanced reader copy of Clementine Crane Prefers Not To by Kristin Bair O’Keefe in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.
Clementine Crane is an over-worked and under-appreciated 44-year old wife, mother of 3, and library employee. Soon after she starts to experience perimenopause symptoms, including hot flashes, she decides that she has had enough. In an effort to rail against the patriarchy and the disproportionate responsibilities placed on mothers in our society, she starts to declare “I’d prefer not to” to her obligations and requests from family and co-workers.
I’m definitely in the target audience for this novel that addresses the stress and challenges of being a woman in perimenopause. The novel is poignant at times, but does not take itself too seriously. Clementine’s antics are frequently over the top, especially stealing the library’s pet fish, wearing a giraffe head disguise, and stripping down to her bra on an ice rink. But as she gradually creates a movement for women to have a voice in their own lives, I was able to appreciate her more. And I was totally on board with her ultimate goal for herself (and all women) to be an equal partner in marriage and to bend female stereotypes in families.
“…when the hot flashes started, I began to flail. I realized I could no longer do it all, and I shouldn’t have been expected to all along.”
Exhausted middle age moms who are ready to fight the patriarchy should check this book out! 4/5⭐️
Clementine Crane is an over-worked and under-appreciated 44-year old wife, mother of 3, and library employee. Soon after she starts to experience perimenopause symptoms, including hot flashes, she decides that she has had enough. In an effort to rail against the patriarchy and the disproportionate responsibilities placed on mothers in our society, she starts to declare “I’d prefer not to” to her obligations and requests from family and co-workers.
I’m definitely in the target audience for this novel that addresses the stress and challenges of being a woman in perimenopause. The novel is poignant at times, but does not take itself too seriously. Clementine’s antics are frequently over the top, especially stealing the library’s pet fish, wearing a giraffe head disguise, and stripping down to her bra on an ice rink. But as she gradually creates a movement for women to have a voice in their own lives, I was able to appreciate her more. And I was totally on board with her ultimate goal for herself (and all women) to be an equal partner in marriage and to bend female stereotypes in families.
“…when the hot flashes started, I began to flail. I realized I could no longer do it all, and I shouldn’t have been expected to all along.”
Exhausted middle age moms who are ready to fight the patriarchy should check this book out! 4/5⭐️
February 3, 2026
Like an untended boiling pot, a middle-aged, under-appreciated wife and mother blows her lid and what comes roiling out makes more than her family sit up and take notice to amusing effects. With aplomb, Kristin Bair dives into the foggy, churning world of women in mid-life and I was there for it with this new to me author.
After experiencing a series of hot flashes, loss of sleep, and other physical discomforts from entering perimenopause, tracking down after three children and husband who forgot or needed or unappreciative bosses, Clementine quietly and unintentionally starts a movement with her ‘I prefer not to’ boundary-setting and life-affirming statement. Because, yes, hilariously, Clementine goes viral on social media and women everywhere and from all walks of life take her on as their poster child. Everything changes for Clementine and her family and her stance gets a little out of control once things get rolling.
Clementine Crane Prefers Not To is something of a middle-aged woman’s or unappreciated woman in general’s fight song. Clementine is the central figure and, though several others contribute to putting her actions into motion, they are background to her as she takes her stand. I thought it was one of those books that was trying to hit on a serious matter with funny humor that will resonate with women up against similar struggles and it does this very well. I did find it gets slow during the middle, but picked up the pace into the end.
However, my struggles were more with Clementine, herself. I identified with her up to a point. I guess it was on purpose for humor and storyline’s sake, but she took her stance too far. If you sign on for wife and mom then yes, you have responsibilities even when it all hits at once and one very much feels like tossing in the towel. Does she have a valid point about not being taken for granted or not appreciated at all? Absolutely, and address it- communicate. Still, she was a character who’ll stick with me and I was glad to have read this one.
So, I appreciated this story for what it set out to do and, lands yes, I was glad to see a story showing a woman going through it all, crumbling, but picking up the pieces in a well-written story really tackling being a woman in today’s world for a solid women’s fiction.
I rec'd an eARC from Crooked Lane Books to read in exchange for an honest review.
My full review will post at Caffeinated Reviewer 1.28.26.
After experiencing a series of hot flashes, loss of sleep, and other physical discomforts from entering perimenopause, tracking down after three children and husband who forgot or needed or unappreciative bosses, Clementine quietly and unintentionally starts a movement with her ‘I prefer not to’ boundary-setting and life-affirming statement. Because, yes, hilariously, Clementine goes viral on social media and women everywhere and from all walks of life take her on as their poster child. Everything changes for Clementine and her family and her stance gets a little out of control once things get rolling.
Clementine Crane Prefers Not To is something of a middle-aged woman’s or unappreciated woman in general’s fight song. Clementine is the central figure and, though several others contribute to putting her actions into motion, they are background to her as she takes her stand. I thought it was one of those books that was trying to hit on a serious matter with funny humor that will resonate with women up against similar struggles and it does this very well. I did find it gets slow during the middle, but picked up the pace into the end.
However, my struggles were more with Clementine, herself. I identified with her up to a point. I guess it was on purpose for humor and storyline’s sake, but she took her stance too far. If you sign on for wife and mom then yes, you have responsibilities even when it all hits at once and one very much feels like tossing in the towel. Does she have a valid point about not being taken for granted or not appreciated at all? Absolutely, and address it- communicate. Still, she was a character who’ll stick with me and I was glad to have read this one.
So, I appreciated this story for what it set out to do and, lands yes, I was glad to see a story showing a woman going through it all, crumbling, but picking up the pieces in a well-written story really tackling being a woman in today’s world for a solid women’s fiction.
I rec'd an eARC from Crooked Lane Books to read in exchange for an honest review.
My full review will post at Caffeinated Reviewer 1.28.26.
June 16, 2025
The first chapter was hysterically funny, using the word "hysterically" deliberately, here's a heroine who keeps all the balls up in the air, the show on the road, the boat afloat, name it.
But Clementine ...prefers not to.
I'd assume I am target audience for this book, but... Hysterically funny quickly became slapstick and faster turned to "over the top". After that, it was hard to return to enjoying this book. Clementine has children and a husband, all incompetent, all leaning heavily on the unseen labour Clementine does. This, I will tell you, does ring true enough, weren't it from the fact that I cannot imagine there's children who'll text their mums "MOM" 8 or 9 times, just that. And really think the mother will step up and do whatever it is they're demanding. If so, I'd say they're spoilt and entitled.
Can't really elaborate on the plot, because I abandoned the book after some chapters.
I received an eARC from NetGalley in return for my honest opinion.
But Clementine ...prefers not to.
I'd assume I am target audience for this book, but... Hysterically funny quickly became slapstick and faster turned to "over the top". After that, it was hard to return to enjoying this book. Clementine has children and a husband, all incompetent, all leaning heavily on the unseen labour Clementine does. This, I will tell you, does ring true enough, weren't it from the fact that I cannot imagine there's children who'll text their mums "MOM" 8 or 9 times, just that. And really think the mother will step up and do whatever it is they're demanding. If so, I'd say they're spoilt and entitled.
Can't really elaborate on the plot, because I abandoned the book after some chapters.
I received an eARC from NetGalley in return for my honest opinion.
May 12, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and Alcove Press for this eARC. All opinions are my own.
Publication date: October 14, 2025
Clementine is an overworked, stressed out mom who has entered perimenopause. Bring on the hot flashes and this hilarious story! While I felt like the middle was a little slow, the ending picked up and I was excited to finish it. I loved the strong woman that she became as she built her following of hot flashers.
I would have loved to learn more about her kids. They were named but I didn’t feel like I knew them throughout the story. I also didn’t understand the animal she was hearing outside at night.
Overall a cute book that’s light and funny.
Publication date: October 14, 2025
Clementine is an overworked, stressed out mom who has entered perimenopause. Bring on the hot flashes and this hilarious story! While I felt like the middle was a little slow, the ending picked up and I was excited to finish it. I loved the strong woman that she became as she built her following of hot flashers.
I would have loved to learn more about her kids. They were named but I didn’t feel like I knew them throughout the story. I also didn’t understand the animal she was hearing outside at night.
Overall a cute book that’s light and funny.
January 3, 2026
The premise behind this book was promising. I love the idea of women making more conscious choices about how we spend our time. But I should know by now that I don’t relate to women who get high on “mental load mommy martyrdom.” Especially ones who wear inflatable giraffe costumes and are convinced there is a wooly mammoth stalking their town. If presented with the opportunity to spend time with Clementine in real life I would say, “I prefer not to.”
January 23, 2026
Rating is somewhere between 2 and 3. The premise was interesting and the use of Bartleby the Scribner as a source for "I prefer not to" [one of my favorite short novels] was clever, but the playing out of Clem's transformation occasionally felt tedious and the story flirted with the absurd. Crunch, crunch, crunch? A woolly mammoth?? Wearing a giraffe costume in a store as a "disguise"??? And what was up with the goldfish?? She never says why she took him, and the return, without instant public recrimination and censure, seemed totally unbelievable. The ending was not a surprise, although the brief allusion to a possible future divorce seemed . . . oddly tacked-on with its purpose not clear considering the considerable self-discovery her husband has made right near the end. And I was disappointed that the author never really shows Clem's family finally "getting her". Yes, they show up for Madison Square Garden, but why? Have they changed? Are they more aware of all their Mom has done for them? Do they realize that they've taken advantage of her for years? I don't know. There were some very funny lines and I can certainly agree with most of what Clem has to say about the "decremental extinction of a woman’s spirit", but the silliness of many of the plot elements robbed the story of some the enjoyment, at least for me.
[A side note: I listened to this audiobook from Hoopla but no audio version was listed on Goodreads]
[A side note: I listened to this audiobook from Hoopla but no audio version was listed on Goodreads]
February 13, 2026
There are no words for how much I didn’t like this. This was not a book, there was no narrative, there was nothing but a cardboard cut out of a character for tired mothers to self insert onto with no conflict no nuance nothing that made me remotely interested or surprised about what might be coming next.
A woman who decides to stop doing literally everything, who wants her job title to sound like a cartoon character, and who faces no consequences for any thing she does.
I know menopause sucks. i know carrying too much mental load sucks, but i knew that ALREADY. and anyone who didn’t know that wouldn’t read this. what’s the point? where’s the story? where’s ANYTHING? there was no finding balance. Like yeah take a break, lose it for a few days but you’re still a mom? take your kid to practice, do your job?
it would’ve worked better if she’d gone so far saying no and then worked her way back to a healthy balance, but no, she just stopped doing anything she didn’t want to and the world worshipped her as a tiktok goddess.
Nothing was resolved. Nothing made me feel anything. This was a self help blog post wrapped in a flimsy, boring narrative.
AND WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE STUPID GOLDFISH?
A woman who decides to stop doing literally everything, who wants her job title to sound like a cartoon character, and who faces no consequences for any thing she does.
I know menopause sucks. i know carrying too much mental load sucks, but i knew that ALREADY. and anyone who didn’t know that wouldn’t read this. what’s the point? where’s the story? where’s ANYTHING? there was no finding balance. Like yeah take a break, lose it for a few days but you’re still a mom? take your kid to practice, do your job?
it would’ve worked better if she’d gone so far saying no and then worked her way back to a healthy balance, but no, she just stopped doing anything she didn’t want to and the world worshipped her as a tiktok goddess.
Nothing was resolved. Nothing made me feel anything. This was a self help blog post wrapped in a flimsy, boring narrative.
AND WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE STUPID GOLDFISH?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 11, 2026
As a woman in the hellish throes of perimenopause myself, I thought I would relate to Clementine, and I did—at first. Unfortunately, by about halfway through, she became a wholly unlikable whiney, self-absorbed person. I’m totally on board with the “I’d prefer not to” mantra when it comes to work and other obligations, but her children?! Nope, I don’t buy that, and I don’t like it. Do I want to read about a mother who stops doing what her kids need because life n her body has become uncomfortable? I’d prefer not to. 🤷♀️
January 9, 2026
This seemed like a “women have it harder than men, and men suck” type of book. Some parts felt too far fetched to be funny, especially the whole kidnapped goldfish thing.
I enjoyed the narrator, just not the constant “MOM”ing that was coming from the kids. The further I got in this book, the more upset I felt by Clem’s actions and refusal to communicate her feelings to her husband and kids. Had to finally stop at 55%.
I enjoyed the narrator, just not the constant “MOM”ing that was coming from the kids. The further I got in this book, the more upset I felt by Clem’s actions and refusal to communicate her feelings to her husband and kids. Had to finally stop at 55%.
October 21, 2025
3.5⭐️
She is Clementine; hear her roar. Author Kristin Bair takes a sometimes lighthearted and sometimes heavy handed look at the plight of many perimenopausal women. We’ve been told for decades that we can have it all, but there’s been little discussion of the cost.
Clementine is a married mother of three teenagers who works a full time job outside the home. Like many women, a disproportionate percentage of family and household responsibilities fall on Clementine. She’s expected to be everything to everyone all the time with no relief. When she begins experiencing symptoms of perimenopause she is woefully unprepared. And, that, my friends, is the final straw. Clementine has had enough.
On the one hand, I can easily relate to Clementine. Keeper of the house, the spouse, the children, the pets, the schoolwork, the activities, the appointments, the EVERYTHING is simply too much for one human. Her family is insufferable—demanding, selfish, incompetent—truly a caricature of helplessness and dependency. Clementine has enabled this behavior and plays a role in creating her own mess. Somewhere along the way, I simply wanted her to ask for help instead of going to the extreme of staging a one-woman work stoppage.
The part of the book that rang truest is when Clementine seeks answers from her long time OBGYN. Not only does he fail to provide answers, but his response is dismissive, insulting, and dangerous. Women’s healthcare in many cases is not serving women’s interests and we’ve been conditioned to accept that. Reform is needed and long overdue.
Some elements of the book are a tad bit far fetched, but once you get past that, the message of sisterhood and empowerment is a strong central theme.
Thank you to NetGalley and Alcove Press for the advance copy. All opinions are my own.
She is Clementine; hear her roar. Author Kristin Bair takes a sometimes lighthearted and sometimes heavy handed look at the plight of many perimenopausal women. We’ve been told for decades that we can have it all, but there’s been little discussion of the cost.
Clementine is a married mother of three teenagers who works a full time job outside the home. Like many women, a disproportionate percentage of family and household responsibilities fall on Clementine. She’s expected to be everything to everyone all the time with no relief. When she begins experiencing symptoms of perimenopause she is woefully unprepared. And, that, my friends, is the final straw. Clementine has had enough.
On the one hand, I can easily relate to Clementine. Keeper of the house, the spouse, the children, the pets, the schoolwork, the activities, the appointments, the EVERYTHING is simply too much for one human. Her family is insufferable—demanding, selfish, incompetent—truly a caricature of helplessness and dependency. Clementine has enabled this behavior and plays a role in creating her own mess. Somewhere along the way, I simply wanted her to ask for help instead of going to the extreme of staging a one-woman work stoppage.
The part of the book that rang truest is when Clementine seeks answers from her long time OBGYN. Not only does he fail to provide answers, but his response is dismissive, insulting, and dangerous. Women’s healthcare in many cases is not serving women’s interests and we’ve been conditioned to accept that. Reform is needed and long overdue.
Some elements of the book are a tad bit far fetched, but once you get past that, the message of sisterhood and empowerment is a strong central theme.
Thank you to NetGalley and Alcove Press for the advance copy. All opinions are my own.
November 12, 2025
Quirky yet heartfelt
Clementine Crane is the woman that keeps her family together. From making sure her husband has what he needs to bake sales, hockey matches and driving lessons for her 3 kids, Clem manages it all. She keeps the peace. Including her job as a librarian.
But things are about to change for Clem. And it all happens when her first hot flash strikes. All of a sudden she’s experiencing intense hot flashes, sleepless nights, and brain fog. In other words.. perimenopause. After getting confirmation from her doctor and of course him telling her that there’s no “cure”, Clem’s carefully put-together house of cards starts to crumble.
Clem begins to figure out that because of everything she is going through, she can no longer be everything to everyone. She just … prefers not to. I mean when is enough.. enough? Now Clem is taking it to TikTok to figure out if there are other women out there who are going through the same thing and before she knows it..she goes viral. Women all over the world are embracing these changes, focusing themselves, and shouting “I prefer not to”. Now Clem face who she wants to be now that she’s no longer defined by her role as care-taker and fixer upper.
This was definitely a first for me. I listened to the audiobook and at first I thought it wasn’t my type of read. But as I kept listening I caught myself smiling and laughing out loud. Kristen Blair delivered a story about a topic ALL women go through and will eventually go through… menopause. Not many books that aren’t labeled as “self-help” or “wellness” give accurate and descriptive detail on what it’s like when a woman hits a certain age and I think the author did a great job. This book was smart, funny, and brutally honest. While I felt at times the pacing was a little uneven and her kids with just absolutely atrocious.. I enjoyed the overall story. 3.5 stars
Clementine Crane is the woman that keeps her family together. From making sure her husband has what he needs to bake sales, hockey matches and driving lessons for her 3 kids, Clem manages it all. She keeps the peace. Including her job as a librarian.
But things are about to change for Clem. And it all happens when her first hot flash strikes. All of a sudden she’s experiencing intense hot flashes, sleepless nights, and brain fog. In other words.. perimenopause. After getting confirmation from her doctor and of course him telling her that there’s no “cure”, Clem’s carefully put-together house of cards starts to crumble.
Clem begins to figure out that because of everything she is going through, she can no longer be everything to everyone. She just … prefers not to. I mean when is enough.. enough? Now Clem is taking it to TikTok to figure out if there are other women out there who are going through the same thing and before she knows it..she goes viral. Women all over the world are embracing these changes, focusing themselves, and shouting “I prefer not to”. Now Clem face who she wants to be now that she’s no longer defined by her role as care-taker and fixer upper.
This was definitely a first for me. I listened to the audiobook and at first I thought it wasn’t my type of read. But as I kept listening I caught myself smiling and laughing out loud. Kristen Blair delivered a story about a topic ALL women go through and will eventually go through… menopause. Not many books that aren’t labeled as “self-help” or “wellness” give accurate and descriptive detail on what it’s like when a woman hits a certain age and I think the author did a great job. This book was smart, funny, and brutally honest. While I felt at times the pacing was a little uneven and her kids with just absolutely atrocious.. I enjoyed the overall story. 3.5 stars
November 9, 2025
A big Thank You to Netgalley and Alcove Press for the complimentary digital copy in exchange for an honest review.
Clementine Crane is one busy lady. In addition to taking care of her 3 children, who see her as their "fixer," and a husband who was about as useless as a wet napkin, she also works at her local library as Director of Media.
But when she has her first hot flash, she unexpectedly starts a viral movement that spreads not only throughout the town, but also the world. She finds the courage, long lost, to say no
This was a light-hearted look at a hot-button topic that every woman eventually experiences: perimenopause.
Sometimes the storyline, though, dragged a little, most of it kept my interest. I liked how she was empowered in taking charge of herself instead of everyone being dependent on her.
This sly, warmhearted social comedy is for readers who crave whip-smart wit, midlife candor, and a quietly radical cheer for every woman who’s ever wondered when her invisible labor will finally count.
Clementine Crane is one busy lady. In addition to taking care of her 3 children, who see her as their "fixer," and a husband who was about as useless as a wet napkin, she also works at her local library as Director of Media.
But when she has her first hot flash, she unexpectedly starts a viral movement that spreads not only throughout the town, but also the world. She finds the courage, long lost, to say no
This was a light-hearted look at a hot-button topic that every woman eventually experiences: perimenopause.
Sometimes the storyline, though, dragged a little, most of it kept my interest. I liked how she was empowered in taking charge of herself instead of everyone being dependent on her.
This sly, warmhearted social comedy is for readers who crave whip-smart wit, midlife candor, and a quietly radical cheer for every woman who’s ever wondered when her invisible labor will finally count.
September 6, 2025
I am so conflicted on this book! Clementine Crane is a perimenopausal woman who has honestly had enough - enough of her incapable husband, her demanding and unappreciative kids, her boss, and mostly her hot flashes which have turned her world upside down. With her best friend cheering her on, Clem decides that she has had it and inspired by a Herman Melville story, proclaims as often as possible that she would prefer not to. Prefer not to carry the mental load of her family, prefer not to listen to her boss, prefer not to jump at her kids every whim. While I was laughing and nodding to much of this book, I was seriously SEETHING at Clem's family. The way I wanted to slap her husband and all of her kids for their disrespectful treatment of their mom (maybe it's the mother in me but I couldn't stand them!). Clem herself also frustrated me throughout the book by taking her mantra just a little too far for me. I know it was the point of her story but I found myself shaking my head at some of her choices. All in all, I thought it was a cute read that makes women feel seen. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC!
April 9, 2025
Clemetine Crane has a demanding husband, demanding kids, and a difficult boss. She finds herself constantly juggling to keep all of the balls in the air- until one day she cannot any longer. As she enters peri-menopause and finds out that there is little in the way of knowledge and support out there, she finds herself championing the cause, picking up friends and supporters along the way, even though her family thinks that she has officially lost it.
My only complaint about this book? It isn't out until October 2025. This was- by far- the most relatable book that I have read in a very long time. As a 43-year-old with a uterus and demanding kids and a demanding job, I found myself nodding along with Clementine's declarations throughout the book. As the mother of kids who frequently need things- RIGHT NOW- I found the text scenes particularly relatable and also hilarious!
I really realized how much of an impact this book had on me when I found myself thinking and saying "I would prefer not to". Kristin Blair has written a hit here. This is easily my favourite book of 2025 to date and I can't wait until every mother, woman, wife, and uterus- haver can read this too.
My only complaint about this book? It isn't out until October 2025. This was- by far- the most relatable book that I have read in a very long time. As a 43-year-old with a uterus and demanding kids and a demanding job, I found myself nodding along with Clementine's declarations throughout the book. As the mother of kids who frequently need things- RIGHT NOW- I found the text scenes particularly relatable and also hilarious!
I really realized how much of an impact this book had on me when I found myself thinking and saying "I would prefer not to". Kristin Blair has written a hit here. This is easily my favourite book of 2025 to date and I can't wait until every mother, woman, wife, and uterus- haver can read this too.
April 24, 2025
I could not put this book down. It had everything I want in a book: joy, humor, heartbreak, frustration, friendship, and female rage. Also, librarians. It’s a quick, concise read, but not in a way that sacrifices plot or character development.
My only small complaint when I finished was that I wished the book had explored Clementine’s marriage and relationship to her husband further. But then I realized: it’s SPECIAL that this is a book about Clementine and only Clementine. Why should it put her husband at the centerpoint of her life? I could not recommend this book more highly for any woman who has ever been fed up with a man, perhaps eldest daughters (in addition to moms, of course) and anyone who has had a bad gynecological experience most of all.
Endless gratitude to NetGalley and Alcove Press for the ARC!
My only small complaint when I finished was that I wished the book had explored Clementine’s marriage and relationship to her husband further. But then I realized: it’s SPECIAL that this is a book about Clementine and only Clementine. Why should it put her husband at the centerpoint of her life? I could not recommend this book more highly for any woman who has ever been fed up with a man, perhaps eldest daughters (in addition to moms, of course) and anyone who has had a bad gynecological experience most of all.
Endless gratitude to NetGalley and Alcove Press for the ARC!
October 14, 2025
3.5!
hm i truly can’t explain the bittersweet feeling in my gut as i just read the last page of this novel. a story of womanhood, one connected to grief, large life changes and humor. a novel that meets at the intersections of the demanding needs and expectations of women, the burden we carry as humans and the unconditional love from friendships. i will admit that when i started this, i wasn’t sure where it was going but i truly love the elements of general fiction and the feelings it evoked from me. thank you kristin bair for making my heart feel so full and yet aches from the pain that we feel as women to fulfill societal norms.
hm i truly can’t explain the bittersweet feeling in my gut as i just read the last page of this novel. a story of womanhood, one connected to grief, large life changes and humor. a novel that meets at the intersections of the demanding needs and expectations of women, the burden we carry as humans and the unconditional love from friendships. i will admit that when i started this, i wasn’t sure where it was going but i truly love the elements of general fiction and the feelings it evoked from me. thank you kristin bair for making my heart feel so full and yet aches from the pain that we feel as women to fulfill societal norms.
March 21, 2026
Read on Kindle via Libby app and listened via Hoopla download.
Started off relatable and strong. Then the last 3 chapters went downhill.
The ‘I prefer not to’ turned into to ‘let them’ movement.
Which, as much as I’m a suburban mom, can’t stand.
But it’s because the white woman, Mel Robbins, stole the phrase and idea from a Black woman
So yeah, again, the white people co-opting Black culture.
Started off relatable and strong. Then the last 3 chapters went downhill.
The ‘I prefer not to’ turned into to ‘let them’ movement.
Which, as much as I’m a suburban mom, can’t stand.
But it’s because the white woman, Mel Robbins, stole the phrase and idea from a Black woman
So yeah, again, the white people co-opting Black culture.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 29, 2025
Clementine hits the nail on the head in terms of the overwhelm experienced by so many midlife moms carrying to-do lists in our chests as well as (until recently) the lack of widely available information about perimenopause and HRT. Between laughs, the book got me thinking about how often I say yes to obligations when I'd really prefer not to.
January 18, 2026
Oh my goodness!!! This book is by far a must read for 2026. I listened to it on audible and it spoke to me in so many levels. We all need to mirror Clementine Crane! As a mom, a 50+ overworked, looked over and expected to do it all!
February 9, 2026
4 ⭐️. Entertaining and relatable at my stage of life ❤️
March 2, 2026
3.5 ⭐️ some good parts, but also a bit weird.
March 15, 2026
Devoured this in 24 hours. Maybe it’s because I’m approaching 40 and feel this in my bones but it was entertaining for sure!
March 22, 2026
Funny, empowering, ridiculous, and enjoyable. Recommended by two coworkers at the library and relatable if you're of a certain age and ready to get yourself back a bit after years of caretaking.
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