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Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better
It turns out giving up your “right” to be offended can be one of the most freeing, healthy, simplifying, relaxing, refreshing, stress-relieving, encouraging things you can do. It’s a radical, provocative We’re not entitled to get offended or stay angry. The idea of our own “righteous anger” is a myth. It is the number one problem in our societies today and, as Dallas Willard says, Christians have not been taught out of it. But what if Christians were the most unoffendable people on the planet? In Unoffendable you will find concrete, practical ways to live life with less stress, In a humorous and conversational style, Unoffendable seeks to lift religious burdens from our backs and allow us to experience the joy of gratitude, perhaps for the first time, every single day of our lives—flourishing the way God intended.
214 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2015
2947 people are currently reading
21035 people want to read
About the author
Brant Hansen
15 books559 followersBrant Hansen is a radio host who has won multiple National Personality of the Year awards. He also works with CURE International, a worldwide network of hospitals that brings life-changing medical care and the good news of God’s love to children with treatable conditions. Brant currently lives in Northern California with his wife, Carolyn; his son, Justice; and his daughter, Julia. He can be found at branthansen.com and @branthansen on Twitter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,853 reviews
March 28, 2015
This is a book that you must read slowly. Not because it's difficult, but because these simple and foundational truths will have you sitting in bed with your mouth hanging open. Or dope-slapping yourself. Or crying. Or laughing out loud (literally) and sharing that nugget on Facebook or Twitter.
Do we have a right to be angry? Is it true that without anger we can't do anything worthwhile? Brant Hansen addresses these questions. Personal stories, along with scripture and other references, do a very good job of giving us reason to drop the anger and choose instead to be Unoffendable.
Personally, this book has helped me immensely. As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, I have seen a huge improvement in my emotional health. My favorite concept was giving up the phrase, "I can't believe they did that!" Once I stopped being surprised at others' failures, as well as my own, I was able to let things go and celebrate the good. My stress levels are much lower and I'm happier, that's for sure.
If you've ever stayed up at night stewing over an offense, lost your temper, or wondered how to respond to those nasty comments on your blog, this book is for you. This is one that I will be reading again and again!
Do we have a right to be angry? Is it true that without anger we can't do anything worthwhile? Brant Hansen addresses these questions. Personal stories, along with scripture and other references, do a very good job of giving us reason to drop the anger and choose instead to be Unoffendable.
Personally, this book has helped me immensely. As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, I have seen a huge improvement in my emotional health. My favorite concept was giving up the phrase, "I can't believe they did that!" Once I stopped being surprised at others' failures, as well as my own, I was able to let things go and celebrate the good. My stress levels are much lower and I'm happier, that's for sure.
If you've ever stayed up at night stewing over an offense, lost your temper, or wondered how to respond to those nasty comments on your blog, this book is for you. This is one that I will be reading again and again!
January 27, 2015
First off, let me say that there is nothing "new" in this book. Hansen doesn't unpack Greek words, apply some great philosophy or argument (though he does enjoy both), or drop some serious theological knowledge on you. What he does is point to the very heart of the Bible (Love God, Love Others) and explain what that looks like. He discusses the stupidity of anger, the infinite value of humility, and the true source of our worth, our contentment, and our peace.
When my brother was little, he had trouble pronouncing a few letters. I remember "l" and "r" were particularly irksome. It took him some time to get words out, and kids being kids, their attention would wane. They'd look away, their eyes drawn to something else, and they'd only half hear him. So my brother would grab any kid who wasn't giving him 100% by the chin and turn the rugrat's face toward him and hold it until he'd finished saying what needed to be said. Not the most polite method I know, but it was effective. That's what Hansen does with this book. He grabs your chin, holds your attention (with honesty and humor), and forces you to listen to something you "know" but have chosen to forget/ignore/push under the rug.
So no...nothing earth shattering here. But the gospel is so earth shattering on its own it hardly needs us to dress it up. Hansen simply presents a simple message and says, "Look at this! Attempt to grasp this marvelous gift you've been given." When we do, "the things of earth grow strangely dim," and everything suddenly gains the correct perspective. Highly enjoyable, fun, and thought-provoking read.
When my brother was little, he had trouble pronouncing a few letters. I remember "l" and "r" were particularly irksome. It took him some time to get words out, and kids being kids, their attention would wane. They'd look away, their eyes drawn to something else, and they'd only half hear him. So my brother would grab any kid who wasn't giving him 100% by the chin and turn the rugrat's face toward him and hold it until he'd finished saying what needed to be said. Not the most polite method I know, but it was effective. That's what Hansen does with this book. He grabs your chin, holds your attention (with honesty and humor), and forces you to listen to something you "know" but have chosen to forget/ignore/push under the rug.
So no...nothing earth shattering here. But the gospel is so earth shattering on its own it hardly needs us to dress it up. Hansen simply presents a simple message and says, "Look at this! Attempt to grasp this marvelous gift you've been given." When we do, "the things of earth grow strangely dim," and everything suddenly gains the correct perspective. Highly enjoyable, fun, and thought-provoking read.
April 23, 2023
What if--and hear me out--we Christians were the least offendable people instead of the most offendable? What if we practiced forgiveness and kindness instead of anger? We can not like something and not handle that with offense and rage.
I love Brant Hansen and this reaffirms that someone out there feels the way I feel.
I love Brant Hansen and this reaffirms that someone out there feels the way I feel.
April 6, 2015
I'm not really sure where to start with this review...This book was so challenging that I feel that I need to go through it again. Mind you, it wasn't challenging on a readability level - it was actually a relatively "easy" read as far as the words go. It's the concept that challenged me...I have no right to get offended, no right to "righteous" anger? That's not an easy concept to grasp.
From the dedication (To all those who want grace for themselves, but struggle to extend it to others. Wait: that's everybody), to the very end, Hansen points out that it's not my "job" to fret over what everyone else is doing wrong; I am not in control. It calls me to let go of the idea that I have any control over people, places and situations, because I don't. In chapter 2, he says, "Being offended is a tiring business. Letting go gives you energy.", and "I can let stuff go because it's not all about me. Simply reminding myself to refuse to take offense is a big part of the battle." And he's right...Since finishing the book, I now make a concerted effort to stop and remind myself that it's truly not about me. When someone cuts me off in traffic...well, I've undoubtedly done the same thing or worse. Through this book, I am working on not being surprised or upset at other's failures, as well as my own. It's freeing me to love people (and myself) just as we are.
Brant backs up his book clearly with scripture in an easily understood way. He uses personal experiences and shares his struggles which makes the book real. Even though it's challenging on a spiritual, personal level, it's written in a fun way. If you have ever listened to Brant Hansen on the radio, you know that he has a somewhat "warped" sense of humor, and you never really know what he might say next. It's the same in the book. He makes this concept a bit easier to digest because you know he is right there with you.
From the dedication (To all those who want grace for themselves, but struggle to extend it to others. Wait: that's everybody), to the very end, Hansen points out that it's not my "job" to fret over what everyone else is doing wrong; I am not in control. It calls me to let go of the idea that I have any control over people, places and situations, because I don't. In chapter 2, he says, "Being offended is a tiring business. Letting go gives you energy.", and "I can let stuff go because it's not all about me. Simply reminding myself to refuse to take offense is a big part of the battle." And he's right...Since finishing the book, I now make a concerted effort to stop and remind myself that it's truly not about me. When someone cuts me off in traffic...well, I've undoubtedly done the same thing or worse. Through this book, I am working on not being surprised or upset at other's failures, as well as my own. It's freeing me to love people (and myself) just as we are.
Brant backs up his book clearly with scripture in an easily understood way. He uses personal experiences and shares his struggles which makes the book real. Even though it's challenging on a spiritual, personal level, it's written in a fun way. If you have ever listened to Brant Hansen on the radio, you know that he has a somewhat "warped" sense of humor, and you never really know what he might say next. It's the same in the book. He makes this concept a bit easier to digest because you know he is right there with you.
September 19, 2020
This book made me re-think a lot. I've been told all my life about righteous anger, shown so many times that it was okay to be angry, annoyed, or offended if the thing you were angry, annoyed, or offended over was bad.
This book kind of debunked a lot of the things I thought weren't a problem. He showed in a biblical, clear way how it was a problem. This book showed how we are hurting other people, ourselves, and our witness by being offended.
I really needed this book, and I hope to be able to re-read it sometimes when I have more time to just soak it in.
I would highly recommend this book to everyone. It is an eye-opener.
This book kind of debunked a lot of the things I thought weren't a problem. He showed in a biblical, clear way how it was a problem. This book showed how we are hurting other people, ourselves, and our witness by being offended.
I really needed this book, and I hope to be able to re-read it sometimes when I have more time to just soak it in.
I would highly recommend this book to everyone. It is an eye-opener.
April 14, 2015
An enjoyable kick in the pants!
March 28, 2024
This book BLEW ME AWAY. I'm actually re-listening to it now, because I loved it so much. The author is also the narrator, which can be a mixed bag, but he was/is a professional speaker (radio personality/DJ/etc.), so he has a clear and understandable voice, with excellent volume modulation, WOOT!
Honestly, I almost 100% agree with the author with what he is saying. He has put into words what I have felt and tried to explain and try to live every day. What is being a Christian about? Read this book. We can either spend all of our time being angry and judgmental or we can spend our time loving and forgiving others, including ourselves. Meet people where they are, not where you think they should be. If we aren't perfect, how can we expect others to be? And yeah, no, sorry to break it, you aren't perfect. Neither am I though, no one is. I am not better than you. I'm not worse either. We are human. We are sinners. We are NOT judge and jury. We are the defendants, lol.
I really needed to hear this right now I think and I needed it so much, I am listening to it again. I only have two books I purposely listen to over and over again and now I can add this to that small list. It just worked for me that much.
5, highly recommended I can't think of what else to say because the book says it all already, stars.
My thanks to libro.fm and Thomas Nelson for an ALC of this book to listen to and review.
Honestly, I almost 100% agree with the author with what he is saying. He has put into words what I have felt and tried to explain and try to live every day. What is being a Christian about? Read this book. We can either spend all of our time being angry and judgmental or we can spend our time loving and forgiving others, including ourselves. Meet people where they are, not where you think they should be. If we aren't perfect, how can we expect others to be? And yeah, no, sorry to break it, you aren't perfect. Neither am I though, no one is. I am not better than you. I'm not worse either. We are human. We are sinners. We are NOT judge and jury. We are the defendants, lol.
I really needed to hear this right now I think and I needed it so much, I am listening to it again. I only have two books I purposely listen to over and over again and now I can add this to that small list. It just worked for me that much.
5, highly recommended I can't think of what else to say because the book says it all already, stars.
My thanks to libro.fm and Thomas Nelson for an ALC of this book to listen to and review.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 16, 2023
The core of this book is absolutely spot-on. I needed this reminder that being offended is usually an indication that I think I have a right to be treated in a certain way. One of my favorite singer-songwriters says “if we go looking for offense, we’re going to find it” and those words echo through my mind frequently. If I want to be offended, I will never run out of fuel for my anger. However, I have the simple choice to just… not be offended. I can forgive. I can pre-forgive and then go into my day and not take offense when people are selfish or rude.
Hansen is funny and forthright. Sometimes his illustrations are silly and this book is probably about 60% longer than it needs to be. But the core of the message was really revelatory and helpful to me. The core of the message is basically this:
“Perhaps a big part of being less offendable is seeing the human heart for what it is: Untrustworthy. Unfaithful. Prone to selfishness. Got it. Now we don't have to be shocked…
That's the world as it is, according to the smartest man who ever lived, Jesus. He knows the human heart. And so should we, so we can quit being shocked and adjust our expectations accordingly. Perhaps you've noticed: Jesus encountered one moral mess after another, and He was never taken aback by anyone's morality. Ever.”
Hansen is funny and forthright. Sometimes his illustrations are silly and this book is probably about 60% longer than it needs to be. But the core of the message was really revelatory and helpful to me. The core of the message is basically this:
“Perhaps a big part of being less offendable is seeing the human heart for what it is: Untrustworthy. Unfaithful. Prone to selfishness. Got it. Now we don't have to be shocked…
That's the world as it is, according to the smartest man who ever lived, Jesus. He knows the human heart. And so should we, so we can quit being shocked and adjust our expectations accordingly. Perhaps you've noticed: Jesus encountered one moral mess after another, and He was never taken aback by anyone's morality. Ever.”
November 21, 2023
Hansen writes in a light and humorous style but he delivers an important and serious message. He argues here that Christ calls us to radical forgiveness. Forgiveness that is so total that we should be unoffendable. Like Jesus is. In the gospels, Jesus is never shocked or disgusted by the sinners he encounters—which is everyone. He always accepts them and forgives them. After the resurrection, when he encounters the disciples who had so recently abandoned him, he doesn’t chew them out or make them feel guilty. Instead, he makes them breakfast.
Perhaps controversially, Hansen contends that we need to let go of our anger. Some have taught that it’s appropriate for Christians to harbor a “righteous anger” against sin, pointing to scripture describing God’s anger, or Jesus casting the moneychangers out of the temple. Hansen claims that there are zero verses that tell us we should be angry, but many that list anger amongst other sins to be avoided. Of course it is appropriate for God to feel righteous anger because He is actually righteous. He has never been wrong. And only God is a perfect judge of the motives of others, while we are in no position to judge others. Thus we should not be angry when others sin against us because we are also sinners who have been forgiven. And we are therefore called to forgive, just as we have been forgiven.
Naturally, Hansen’s presentation is much more pithy and entertaining than my dry and serious encapsulation.
Overall, highly recommended.
Perhaps controversially, Hansen contends that we need to let go of our anger. Some have taught that it’s appropriate for Christians to harbor a “righteous anger” against sin, pointing to scripture describing God’s anger, or Jesus casting the moneychangers out of the temple. Hansen claims that there are zero verses that tell us we should be angry, but many that list anger amongst other sins to be avoided. Of course it is appropriate for God to feel righteous anger because He is actually righteous. He has never been wrong. And only God is a perfect judge of the motives of others, while we are in no position to judge others. Thus we should not be angry when others sin against us because we are also sinners who have been forgiven. And we are therefore called to forgive, just as we have been forgiven.
Naturally, Hansen’s presentation is much more pithy and entertaining than my dry and serious encapsulation.
Overall, highly recommended.
June 20, 2019
Jesus Got Angry Too
Brant Hansen makes an important point in today’s outrage culture. Christians too often are easily offended and act out their anger in ways that do not follow Jesus’ teachings. Hansen argues that our sense of outage is often rooted in our own sense of self-righteousness, while Jesus calls us to love those who are different from us and might offend us.
While I agree with Hansen’s basic point, I have some serious issues with his argument.
Hansen simply leaves out Scripture and examples that counter or at least complicate his thesis. He ignores the prophetic voice in the Old Testament that convicts Israel of its injustices against the weak and vulnerable. He ignores Jesus’ anger in the Temple against the money changers. He ignores Paul’s anger against the Judaizers in his epistle to the Galatians. He uses a Martin Luther King quote on love, but ignores King’s scathing indictment against moderate white clergy in “Letter From Birmingham Jail.”
Not all anger is the same. Not all anger is rooted in pettiness or self-righteousness. As Yolanda Pierce argues about the Civil Rights Movement and Black Lives Matter, “Anger is not the opposite of love. Righteous anger does not preclude the possibility of non-violent resistance. The prophetic work of “turning over the tables” and fighting against the forces of injustice requires the complete range of human capacity, including love, anger, hope, joy, and even moments of despair.”
While Hansen has a point in “Unoffendable,” his overly simplistic treatment of Scripture robs his argument of the full range of human emotion and experience present in the Bible.
Brant Hansen makes an important point in today’s outrage culture. Christians too often are easily offended and act out their anger in ways that do not follow Jesus’ teachings. Hansen argues that our sense of outage is often rooted in our own sense of self-righteousness, while Jesus calls us to love those who are different from us and might offend us.
While I agree with Hansen’s basic point, I have some serious issues with his argument.
Hansen simply leaves out Scripture and examples that counter or at least complicate his thesis. He ignores the prophetic voice in the Old Testament that convicts Israel of its injustices against the weak and vulnerable. He ignores Jesus’ anger in the Temple against the money changers. He ignores Paul’s anger against the Judaizers in his epistle to the Galatians. He uses a Martin Luther King quote on love, but ignores King’s scathing indictment against moderate white clergy in “Letter From Birmingham Jail.”
Not all anger is the same. Not all anger is rooted in pettiness or self-righteousness. As Yolanda Pierce argues about the Civil Rights Movement and Black Lives Matter, “Anger is not the opposite of love. Righteous anger does not preclude the possibility of non-violent resistance. The prophetic work of “turning over the tables” and fighting against the forces of injustice requires the complete range of human capacity, including love, anger, hope, joy, and even moments of despair.”
While Hansen has a point in “Unoffendable,” his overly simplistic treatment of Scripture robs his argument of the full range of human emotion and experience present in the Bible.
August 24, 2015
This is one of those not-great books that would have made a good essay. Like many Christian-living books, it's built on a single concept that made for a good hook but gets repetitive when there's not really enough more to it to justify multiple chapters. I appreciate the idea, I'm just not sure I needed to spend the time and money reading it in this format as opposed to an article in Relevant Magazine or something similar.
April 10, 2015
So many people take offense to the point that anger is often seen as a socially acceptable emotion. People spout their so-called righteous anger across social media all the time, and Brant Hansen encourages us to wonder whether this should be the case. As the host of a radio show, he's been the butt of offense many times. I love the irate call from a listener who heard him say, 'The weather will be hotter than it should be for this time of year.' The caller ticked him off, saying, 'God always sets the weather, so it's always perfect.'
'To those who reason, 'God gets angry, so we should be allowed to,' he would say, 'Well, God's entitled to do a lot of things we're not, such as judging and taking vengeance.' When we're as guilty as the targets of our wrath, we're not in a good position to react with strong indignation. And to those who say that it's our duty to get angry at injustice, he'd reply that taking action and fuming with anger aren't necessarily synonymous.
Hansen attempts to get to the root of why humans tend to be so volatile and easy to set off when it comes to taking offense. Situations in which others seem to be getting as much grace or privilege for less work than others may be enough to do it. Insecurity about our positions tend to make us unwilling to show grace. We justify offenses as righteous anger, much like the Prodigal Son's older brother. I like the way he urges us to embrace the 'glorious unfairness' as Jesus has been offensive in these ways for centuries.
He adds that maybe a tendency to take offense is a bit like having an infected limb. Everyone has an ego, but when it's swollen and over-sized, it's constantly being injured and threatened. It's interesting that a book about being unoffendable ends up having as much to say about true humility. He challenges us to see that we place enormous pressure on ourselves in our quests to be significant, and anything that threatens our efforts may make us flare. Truly humble folk are more difficult to offend, because they know that the things we think matter a lot, really don't matter so much.
In spite of Brant Hansen's friendly, easy-going style, I wouldn't be surprised if the content of this book offends a few people, but I'm wondering whether anyone will be brave enough to say so! I'll keep an eye on reviews to find out. I enjoyed and recommend it.
Thanks to Net Galley and Thomas Nelson for my review copy.
'To those who reason, 'God gets angry, so we should be allowed to,' he would say, 'Well, God's entitled to do a lot of things we're not, such as judging and taking vengeance.' When we're as guilty as the targets of our wrath, we're not in a good position to react with strong indignation. And to those who say that it's our duty to get angry at injustice, he'd reply that taking action and fuming with anger aren't necessarily synonymous.
Hansen attempts to get to the root of why humans tend to be so volatile and easy to set off when it comes to taking offense. Situations in which others seem to be getting as much grace or privilege for less work than others may be enough to do it. Insecurity about our positions tend to make us unwilling to show grace. We justify offenses as righteous anger, much like the Prodigal Son's older brother. I like the way he urges us to embrace the 'glorious unfairness' as Jesus has been offensive in these ways for centuries.
He adds that maybe a tendency to take offense is a bit like having an infected limb. Everyone has an ego, but when it's swollen and over-sized, it's constantly being injured and threatened. It's interesting that a book about being unoffendable ends up having as much to say about true humility. He challenges us to see that we place enormous pressure on ourselves in our quests to be significant, and anything that threatens our efforts may make us flare. Truly humble folk are more difficult to offend, because they know that the things we think matter a lot, really don't matter so much.
In spite of Brant Hansen's friendly, easy-going style, I wouldn't be surprised if the content of this book offends a few people, but I'm wondering whether anyone will be brave enough to say so! I'll keep an eye on reviews to find out. I enjoyed and recommend it.
Thanks to Net Galley and Thomas Nelson for my review copy.
April 14, 2015
This book is a hard pill to swallow, but one that definitely needs to be taken.
Letting go of all anger, bitterness, and resentment can be a difficult task; but it's one that needs to be done in order to live a happier life, as well as a less stressful one. By letting go, we can change the focus from oneself to serving others as Jesus served others.
Jesus loved us, and just wants us to love others as he first loved us. Sounds easy, right? Wrong. It asks us to share our love even with EVERYONE, not only to those that are just like us.
I wasn't sure what to expect with this book at first. I had listened to Brant on the radio several times. And I knew from listening that he could always make me laugh, but he also had a way to break out some real thought provoking messages. This book is no different. It brought about the occasional chuckle at Brant being Brant. But mostly it makes you think about how you're going about your life, and letting all the negative work against your ultimate goal of loving others. Reading this book can help make a step in the right direction.
I also appreciated how Brant put this book in a format in which everyone can understand it. He didn't dumb anything down, but everything is put in terms that allow even the least scholarly to understand.
Letting go of all anger, bitterness, and resentment can be a difficult task; but it's one that needs to be done in order to live a happier life, as well as a less stressful one. By letting go, we can change the focus from oneself to serving others as Jesus served others.
Jesus loved us, and just wants us to love others as he first loved us. Sounds easy, right? Wrong. It asks us to share our love even with EVERYONE, not only to those that are just like us.
I wasn't sure what to expect with this book at first. I had listened to Brant on the radio several times. And I knew from listening that he could always make me laugh, but he also had a way to break out some real thought provoking messages. This book is no different. It brought about the occasional chuckle at Brant being Brant. But mostly it makes you think about how you're going about your life, and letting all the negative work against your ultimate goal of loving others. Reading this book can help make a step in the right direction.
I also appreciated how Brant put this book in a format in which everyone can understand it. He didn't dumb anything down, but everything is put in terms that allow even the least scholarly to understand.
January 14, 2018
Misguided intentions.
There are a few nuggets but it doesn't take much rat poison to kill. His message in a nutshell: Dont worry about being righteous and all that sin stuff. If you obey God that is bad. Just get along and love people and Jesus by your own definition of love. The rest will sort itself out in the wash. We have a world to change and this message keeps everything the same. Even atheists can love people and feed the homeless. Obedience is true trust according to my Bible, that is what truly changes everything.
There are a few nuggets but it doesn't take much rat poison to kill. His message in a nutshell: Dont worry about being righteous and all that sin stuff. If you obey God that is bad. Just get along and love people and Jesus by your own definition of love. The rest will sort itself out in the wash. We have a world to change and this message keeps everything the same. Even atheists can love people and feed the homeless. Obedience is true trust according to my Bible, that is what truly changes everything.
April 16, 2015
Though the concepts behind this book make the most sense when examined through the lens of the Bible, they are so "other" that I am actually a tad reluctant to label this as a "Christian book". Not that it's wishy-washy -- far from it. But the ideas presented here are so very antithetical to an error that seems to have become almost sacramental in Christianity -- both conservative and progressive -- that I'm not sure where Brant Hansen's "Unoffendable" fits. And that's a Good Thing.
So what is this radical idea that Hansen presents? Simply this: Being offended is not a Christian virtue. And not only is it not a virtue, but it's never called for.
You see, when I take offense at something Joe did, I am standing in judgment of Joe's actions. Meanwhile, Joe has taken offense at something I did. And both of us are so wrapped up in these offenses, that neither of us are grateful for the forgiveness that God has already granted both of us. We've lost the plot; we aren't trusting God.
But what about sin? Surely we should be angry at sin, right? Well, the Bible tells us that God poured out His wrath at everyone's sin onto Jesus on the cross. Are you telling me that He has to climb back up on that cross to endure your wrath, too?
Hansen answers several other objections to his idea -- largely with Scripture, so if you disagree, take it up with God. But there is one upshot of his thesis that is the most damning to our perspective -- one that, ironically, many will find offensive. That concept: there is no such thing as "righteous anger".
Immediately comes the rebuttal: Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be angry, and sin not." Right there, it would seem that Christians not only have permission to be angry, but are told that they ought to be. But other translations say, "When you are angry, do not sin." That's definitely not a command to be angry, and doesn't even really sound like permission.
But even if you dismiss those translations, we are told later in the same paragraph to "get rid of" a bunch of things. And you know what's in that list? Anger. Add to that a host of other Scriptures that all speak negatively of anger, and "be angry" sounds less and less like the best way to interpret the concept.
This even goes for injustice. Hansen notes that we have conflated "anger" and "action". Some Christian leaders even state that we can't have the latter without the former. But here's the thing: the cross, the ultimate righting of wrong, was not because God was angry at sin; it was because God loves us. Love is the motivation behind seeking to correct injustice. If someone needs "righteous anger" to fuel their pursuit of justice, I have to question their dedication to justice.
Being angry and taking offense come naturally to us. Should that not be a warning bell for us? That which is easy to do rarely is what we ought to do. Or as Hansen puts it: Anger, selfishness, defensiveness and judgmentalism are "not exceptional ... but grace is."
So what is this radical idea that Hansen presents? Simply this: Being offended is not a Christian virtue. And not only is it not a virtue, but it's never called for.
You see, when I take offense at something Joe did, I am standing in judgment of Joe's actions. Meanwhile, Joe has taken offense at something I did. And both of us are so wrapped up in these offenses, that neither of us are grateful for the forgiveness that God has already granted both of us. We've lost the plot; we aren't trusting God.
But what about sin? Surely we should be angry at sin, right? Well, the Bible tells us that God poured out His wrath at everyone's sin onto Jesus on the cross. Are you telling me that He has to climb back up on that cross to endure your wrath, too?
Hansen answers several other objections to his idea -- largely with Scripture, so if you disagree, take it up with God. But there is one upshot of his thesis that is the most damning to our perspective -- one that, ironically, many will find offensive. That concept: there is no such thing as "righteous anger".
Immediately comes the rebuttal: Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be angry, and sin not." Right there, it would seem that Christians not only have permission to be angry, but are told that they ought to be. But other translations say, "When you are angry, do not sin." That's definitely not a command to be angry, and doesn't even really sound like permission.
But even if you dismiss those translations, we are told later in the same paragraph to "get rid of" a bunch of things. And you know what's in that list? Anger. Add to that a host of other Scriptures that all speak negatively of anger, and "be angry" sounds less and less like the best way to interpret the concept.
This even goes for injustice. Hansen notes that we have conflated "anger" and "action". Some Christian leaders even state that we can't have the latter without the former. But here's the thing: the cross, the ultimate righting of wrong, was not because God was angry at sin; it was because God loves us. Love is the motivation behind seeking to correct injustice. If someone needs "righteous anger" to fuel their pursuit of justice, I have to question their dedication to justice.
Being angry and taking offense come naturally to us. Should that not be a warning bell for us? That which is easy to do rarely is what we ought to do. Or as Hansen puts it: Anger, selfishness, defensiveness and judgmentalism are "not exceptional ... but grace is."
February 6, 2026
This is a book that I would benefit from reading once a year. I found the idea of this book to be disconcerting yet in the end I found that I want no other way to live.
Can I be ‘unoffendable’? Can I put that bumper sticker on my car and then follow through with driving and not calling someone an idiot? Can I see other people the way Jesus sees them? Can I see me as someone loved by Jesus? This is all simple yet transforming.
I highly recommend this book.
Update 2025- now more than ever, I need to be Unoffendable. Since first reading this book I’ve said, ‘that’s okay, no worries’ so many times. AND I meant it. God has forgiven me, how could I not forgive others?
Highly recommend.
Can I be ‘unoffendable’? Can I put that bumper sticker on my car and then follow through with driving and not calling someone an idiot? Can I see other people the way Jesus sees them? Can I see me as someone loved by Jesus? This is all simple yet transforming.
I highly recommend this book.
Update 2025- now more than ever, I need to be Unoffendable. Since first reading this book I’ve said, ‘that’s okay, no worries’ so many times. AND I meant it. God has forgiven me, how could I not forgive others?
Highly recommend.
December 20, 2024
Listen to the audiobook. I listened to this in an afternoon. Absolutely loved the author reading his book. Very very relatable and convicting. I read this without any knowledge of Hansen or his theology. Is this book perfect? No. Is this book extremely helpful in revealing the judgmental, graceless heart issue that I have when viewing others? Yes. Ironically two of my most used passages in discipleship and biblical counseling are Ephesians 4:1-2 and Colossians 3:1-2. If I would actually apply these passages in every aspect of my life I would realize that being offended is in direct contradiction to these passages. Great listen for anyone, especially Christians.
April 7, 2015
Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better by Brant Hansen is very highly recommended life changing book. Today I am choosing to not be offended.
Hansen, in a very accessible, conversational style full of self-deprecating humor, draws the attention of Christians to a Biblical truth that we may be ignoring. We need to deliberately choose to not be angry, even righteous anger, and not take offense. We need to take a step forward in our faith and walk with God and choose to be unoffendable.
Hansen writes, "Not only can we choose to be unoffendable; we should choose that. We should forfeit our right to be offended. That means forfeiting our right to hold on to anger. When we do this, we’ll be making a sacrifice that’s very pleasing to God. It strikes at our very pride. It forces us not only to think about humility, but to actually be humble."
As humans we actually like to be angry. Anger offers us a sense of moral superiority. The problem is when anger takes up residence in our hearts. We need to do what Dr. Martin Luther King recommended: "recognize injustice, grieve it, and act against it - but without rage, without malice, and without anger." Learning to let things go, not take offense, not make it personal, is the biggest hurdle we face. Often whatever we are scandalized over or upset about doesn't even have anything to do with us; it's someone else's behavior.
If we can manage to not be offended and keep a mindset of gratitude life will go much better for us. "Because that’s the thing about gratitude and anger: They can’t coexist. It’s one or the other. One drains the very life from you. The other fills your life with wonder. Choose wisely." And if you are constantly being offended it might be time to honestly evaluate your inflamed ego. If you can have an attitude of gratitude and humility, you will quite naturally be less easily offended.
Hansen summarizes that, "Choosing to be unoffendable means choosing to be humble. Not only that, the practice teaches humility. Once you’ve decided you can’t control other people; once you’ve reconciled yourself to the fact that the world, and its people, are broken; once you’ve realized your own moral failure before God; once you’ve abandoned the idea that your significance comes from anything other than God, you’re growing in humility, and that’s exactly where God wants us all." "When we surrender our perceived “rights,” when we let go of our attempts to manipulate, we find—surprise!—joy." And wouldn't anyone choose joy over being angry and offended all the time?
This would be an excellent resource for a small group study or any individual who wants to break the easy-to-take-offense cycle that seems so common today. And, although this is firmly a Christian book, the world at large could do with a dose of being unoffendable. This is an eye-opening look at something most Christians know at some level but need to take that knowledge to heart. It's time to be unoffendable and acknowledge that God is in charge.
Disclosure: My Kindle edition was courtesy of Thomas Nelson Publishers for review purposes.
Hansen, in a very accessible, conversational style full of self-deprecating humor, draws the attention of Christians to a Biblical truth that we may be ignoring. We need to deliberately choose to not be angry, even righteous anger, and not take offense. We need to take a step forward in our faith and walk with God and choose to be unoffendable.
Hansen writes, "Not only can we choose to be unoffendable; we should choose that. We should forfeit our right to be offended. That means forfeiting our right to hold on to anger. When we do this, we’ll be making a sacrifice that’s very pleasing to God. It strikes at our very pride. It forces us not only to think about humility, but to actually be humble."
As humans we actually like to be angry. Anger offers us a sense of moral superiority. The problem is when anger takes up residence in our hearts. We need to do what Dr. Martin Luther King recommended: "recognize injustice, grieve it, and act against it - but without rage, without malice, and without anger." Learning to let things go, not take offense, not make it personal, is the biggest hurdle we face. Often whatever we are scandalized over or upset about doesn't even have anything to do with us; it's someone else's behavior.
If we can manage to not be offended and keep a mindset of gratitude life will go much better for us. "Because that’s the thing about gratitude and anger: They can’t coexist. It’s one or the other. One drains the very life from you. The other fills your life with wonder. Choose wisely." And if you are constantly being offended it might be time to honestly evaluate your inflamed ego. If you can have an attitude of gratitude and humility, you will quite naturally be less easily offended.
Hansen summarizes that, "Choosing to be unoffendable means choosing to be humble. Not only that, the practice teaches humility. Once you’ve decided you can’t control other people; once you’ve reconciled yourself to the fact that the world, and its people, are broken; once you’ve realized your own moral failure before God; once you’ve abandoned the idea that your significance comes from anything other than God, you’re growing in humility, and that’s exactly where God wants us all." "When we surrender our perceived “rights,” when we let go of our attempts to manipulate, we find—surprise!—joy." And wouldn't anyone choose joy over being angry and offended all the time?
This would be an excellent resource for a small group study or any individual who wants to break the easy-to-take-offense cycle that seems so common today. And, although this is firmly a Christian book, the world at large could do with a dose of being unoffendable. This is an eye-opening look at something most Christians know at some level but need to take that knowledge to heart. It's time to be unoffendable and acknowledge that God is in charge.
Disclosure: My Kindle edition was courtesy of Thomas Nelson Publishers for review purposes.
March 12, 2022
It was easy to listen to, but I kept waiting for some deep insights. The author talked about himself in excess.
October 25, 2024
This is a book that I have as a paperback; however, I am especially grateful to have been able to hear it on audiobook as the author truly brought the nuances of his words to life. Hearing this book being read felt like listening to an entertaining podcast and a convicting sermon at the same time. The self-deprecating humour, the relatable remarks, and the witty truths all made the concept of being unoffendable even more real. Brant's radio personality shines forth and takes readers on a journey of what it could look like to go through the day and not be offended by everything that happens to us or around us.
Truthfully, I needed this book. It is so easy for my sense of justice to be on high alert, reminding me of all the ways that people or things fall short and to become upset as a result. In reading this book, I can see how utterly exhausting this is for a Christian, especially when we know that this world is a fallen place. This book delves into strategies to prevent us from going down this path in our hearts and minds, but what is most encouraging is the deep dive throughout the Bible to see how we should respond and how God would have us conduct ourselves. This book is practical yet it is more than a self-help book; instead, Unoffendable points us to the God who can set us free from this trap by taking the offenses on Himself and perfectly dealing with them on our behalf.
Review link: https://christianshelves.blogspot.com...
Truthfully, I needed this book. It is so easy for my sense of justice to be on high alert, reminding me of all the ways that people or things fall short and to become upset as a result. In reading this book, I can see how utterly exhausting this is for a Christian, especially when we know that this world is a fallen place. This book delves into strategies to prevent us from going down this path in our hearts and minds, but what is most encouraging is the deep dive throughout the Bible to see how we should respond and how God would have us conduct ourselves. This book is practical yet it is more than a self-help book; instead, Unoffendable points us to the God who can set us free from this trap by taking the offenses on Himself and perfectly dealing with them on our behalf.
Review link: https://christianshelves.blogspot.com...
June 19, 2025
This book teaches and talks about how to be unoffendable to surrender anger and be humble. To give God control and to trust that He knows the big picture and is in control of the bad situations that happen to us. We are not entitled to our anger, God is entitled to anger and revenge but we are not.
We need to love all people and tell them the good news try not to be offended by what they say to us and be kind to them. Even though they say offensive things we need to not get offended and take it all so personally and get angry with them, because really, Jesus loves them just as much as He loves us. We are no better than them.
This is a very interesting thing because in our world so many times we justify our anger and say we need it. We don't need it. We need to be unoffendable not get angry with them and love them. And that can lead to a very joyful life.
We need to love all people and tell them the good news try not to be offended by what they say to us and be kind to them. Even though they say offensive things we need to not get offended and take it all so personally and get angry with them, because really, Jesus loves them just as much as He loves us. We are no better than them.
This is a very interesting thing because in our world so many times we justify our anger and say we need it. We don't need it. We need to be unoffendable not get angry with them and love them. And that can lead to a very joyful life.
August 16, 2015
The Good: What an amazing book! Brant Hansen takes oft-ignored Scriptures, combines them with a bit of logic and reason, and shows us the true nature of anger. While he adds in dashes of humor, his point is very serious: there is no such thing as righteous anger. Plus, Mr. Hansen mentions that he has the same condition that I do, which is all the more inspiring.
The Bad: Not a thing to complain about!
Conclusion: Whether you're a church veteran or have been a Christian for all of a few days, you need to read this book! It will challenge the popular belief that anger is permissible, even among followers of Jesus! Go to the library and find this book, NOW!
Score: 5/5 (actually, it should be higher!)
The Bad: Not a thing to complain about!
Conclusion: Whether you're a church veteran or have been a Christian for all of a few days, you need to read this book! It will challenge the popular belief that anger is permissible, even among followers of Jesus! Go to the library and find this book, NOW!
Score: 5/5 (actually, it should be higher!)
December 29, 2025
2025 second time through. This is one of those books I wish I could keep at the forefront of my mind. As it is, it’s one I will keep revisiting. In the meantime, I’m thankful for the hope for change that God grants us in Jesus.
Great for self-reflection and a refreshing perspective on anger.
Great for self-reflection and a refreshing perspective on anger.
January 15, 2025
I really enjoyed this one. Having the author read it, his openness, his biblical backing and stories were just a sweet testament to how believers really can be above it all and love because we have been saved. If we live our life grateful for what we’ve been given every single day we can’t respond in anger. Anger is discontentment. Gratitude is contentment. And he did make me out right laugh sometimes! A good book to start the year off with!
March 12, 2022
I read this in one sitting before book club (#forgetful), so I don't think I really got to dive deep into this book in order to give a well-thought out review. But it was interesting and a needed message. The humor was awesome, I laughed out loud throughout the book.
October 26, 2018
1. quite good. surprisingly (?) some stuff that made me question my views on anger and offense, so, as that was the point of reading it, yay.
2. the writer's style was not my favorite. kind of annoying at times (but he won't get offended if I say so...) ;) but at least it was a very easy and light read.
3. a few/lot of the points on not being offended at others for their sin reminded me of the last book I finished; the Gospel Comes With a House Key. I think that's just how my brain works, tying in books I just read or what I'm thinking about with what I'm currently reading. probably everyone's brains generally work that way. :p
4. although it challenged my thinking, I'm still trying to figure out; how do you reconcile the verse "be angry and do not sin" with "let all anger, clamor, evil speaking, [etc] be put away from you"? maybe a good question to ask and have a group discussion... also the concept of being offended or angry at sin: difference between the sin and the sinner? and how to treat people with love who have serious sin problems...
obviously still thinking through this...
2. the writer's style was not my favorite. kind of annoying at times (but he won't get offended if I say so...) ;) but at least it was a very easy and light read.
3. a few/lot of the points on not being offended at others for their sin reminded me of the last book I finished; the Gospel Comes With a House Key. I think that's just how my brain works, tying in books I just read or what I'm thinking about with what I'm currently reading. probably everyone's brains generally work that way. :p
4. although it challenged my thinking, I'm still trying to figure out; how do you reconcile the verse "be angry and do not sin" with "let all anger, clamor, evil speaking, [etc] be put away from you"? maybe a good question to ask and have a group discussion... also the concept of being offended or angry at sin: difference between the sin and the sinner? and how to treat people with love who have serious sin problems...
obviously still thinking through this...
December 28, 2022
“The church is not made up of natural friends, it’s made up of natural enemies.”
Whew, get ready for some stomped toes. This was a really good read with a good reminder of where our perspective needs to be. When we live our lives in joy and gratitude of all that’s been forgiven of us, it’s a whole lot harder to keep a constant score of all the wrongs done against us. We are all just as sinful and lost as our fellow brothers. It’s time we let go of the nitpicking and constant judgement and focus instead on the grace we ourselves have been given!
Whew, get ready for some stomped toes. This was a really good read with a good reminder of where our perspective needs to be. When we live our lives in joy and gratitude of all that’s been forgiven of us, it’s a whole lot harder to keep a constant score of all the wrongs done against us. We are all just as sinful and lost as our fellow brothers. It’s time we let go of the nitpicking and constant judgement and focus instead on the grace we ourselves have been given!
October 14, 2024
4.5
So thought provoking! So much wisdom here!
„Choosing to be unoffendable means choosing to be humble.
Not only that, the practice teaches humility. To decide ahead of times:I will not be offended!
But the kingdom of God is not on defense.😂
Being offended is a tiring business-letting things go gives you energy.“
I need this reminder on a regular basis esp. with my
approaching -puberty -kids 😁! What a victory to be able to trust God and rest in Him and work things through with Him and His grace!
And most of all…to let go and hang tight in the same moment.
Jesus give me grace💕
So thought provoking! So much wisdom here!
„Choosing to be unoffendable means choosing to be humble.
Not only that, the practice teaches humility. To decide ahead of times:I will not be offended!
But the kingdom of God is not on defense.😂
Being offended is a tiring business-letting things go gives you energy.“
I need this reminder on a regular basis esp. with my
approaching -puberty -kids 😁! What a victory to be able to trust God and rest in Him and work things through with Him and His grace!
And most of all…to let go and hang tight in the same moment.
Jesus give me grace💕
July 8, 2024
4.5 ⭐️ listened on audiobook and appreciated the bonus chapter, after the book was already published, on a real life account of having to forgive an offense. Staying unoffendable doesn’t mean you stop caring about wrongdoing or injustice, it just means you can forgive and release the need to be judge.
October 4, 2022
Good lesson! I learned to consider others circumstances before deciding whether I should be offended or not.
I listened to this audiobook with my Mom which I think was good for me, because some things the author said did not completly line up with scripture. This was a good read and I am glad I read it even though it took me awhile to get through.
I listened to this audiobook with my Mom which I think was good for me, because some things the author said did not completly line up with scripture. This was a good read and I am glad I read it even though it took me awhile to get through.
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