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The Companion
Shepherd Bucknam hasn’t had a lover in more than a decade and doesn’t need one. As a Daka, he coaches men in the sacred art and mystery of sexual ecstasy all the time, and he loves his work. It’s his calling. In fact, he’s perfectly content—except for the terrors of his recurring nightmare and the ominous blood-red birthmarks on his neck. He’s convinced that together they foretell his early and violent death.
When Shepherd’s young protégé is murdered, LAPD Detective Marco Fidanza gets the case. The two men are worlds Marco has fought hard for everything he’s accomplished, in sharp contrast to the apparent ease of Shepherd’s inherited wealth—but their mutual attraction is too hot for either of them to ignore.
Shepherd swears he’ll help find his protégé’s killer, but Marco warns him to stay out of it. When an influential politician is implicated, the police investigation grinds to a halt. Shepherd hires his own investigator. Marco calls it dangerous meddling. As their volatile relationship deepens, Shepherd discovers his nightmares might not relate to the future, but to the deadly legacy of a past life—a life he may have to revisit before he can fully live and love in this one.
When Shepherd’s young protégé is murdered, LAPD Detective Marco Fidanza gets the case. The two men are worlds Marco has fought hard for everything he’s accomplished, in sharp contrast to the apparent ease of Shepherd’s inherited wealth—but their mutual attraction is too hot for either of them to ignore.
Shepherd swears he’ll help find his protégé’s killer, but Marco warns him to stay out of it. When an influential politician is implicated, the police investigation grinds to a halt. Shepherd hires his own investigator. Marco calls it dangerous meddling. As their volatile relationship deepens, Shepherd discovers his nightmares might not relate to the future, but to the deadly legacy of a past life—a life he may have to revisit before he can fully live and love in this one.
220 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 22, 2014
2 people are currently reading
176 people want to read
About the author
Lloyd A. Meeker
15 books57 followersHaving led what can only be described as an irregular life, Lloyd A. Meeker can honestly say he’s grateful for all of it, and he’s got stories to tell.
Born and raised in an intentional community in rural Colorado, he’s been a minister, a light aircraft pilot, an office worker, a janitor, a drinker, and a software developer on his way to writing novels. A Dodgers fan and three-time cancer survivor, he’s practiced and taught subtle energy healing all his adult life. He’s sung in church and rainbow choirs, and currently channels his passion for music into learning the octave mandolin. He and his husband met in 2002, and live in Montpellier, France.
His titles include Traveling Light, Russ Morgan, PI, and Stone and Shell. His novel The Companion was a finalist in the 2015 Lambda Literary Awards.
Meeker's novel The Companion was named a finalist in the 2015 Lambda Literary Awards.
He is also the author of the titles Blood and Dirt, Traveling Light, Enigma, Blood Royal, and A Cape of Good Hope Christmas.
Born and raised in an intentional community in rural Colorado, he’s been a minister, a light aircraft pilot, an office worker, a janitor, a drinker, and a software developer on his way to writing novels. A Dodgers fan and three-time cancer survivor, he’s practiced and taught subtle energy healing all his adult life. He’s sung in church and rainbow choirs, and currently channels his passion for music into learning the octave mandolin. He and his husband met in 2002, and live in Montpellier, France.
His titles include Traveling Light, Russ Morgan, PI, and Stone and Shell. His novel The Companion was a finalist in the 2015 Lambda Literary Awards.
Meeker's novel The Companion was named a finalist in the 2015 Lambda Literary Awards.
He is also the author of the titles Blood and Dirt, Traveling Light, Enigma, Blood Royal, and A Cape of Good Hope Christmas.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
June 7, 2015
Last year I read the very good Enigma by the same author and I jumped at the chance to read The Companion. Up until the 66% mark this book was going really well, a solid 4 star read, but then things changed with what I would term a total lack of sensitivity on a topic I have strong feelings about.
Just for the record, I rarely, if ever, rate a DNF. If I have strong feelings I will and at 66%, with what I felt about The Companion, I feel justified in my rating of this book. Warning of sexual triggers in the review.
ETA August 15th, 2014: I have read the whole book. Read it a day after this initial review. I finished it in hopes it would shed light on the section I highlighted. If anything it confused me more and made me shake my head more. So for those wanting to have a go at my DNF review I finished it. It is my opinion and I am entitled to it. If you like it, good for you. I do not. I am sick of "friends" of the author jumping onto the blog - spammed - and voicing their disdain at my opinion. Write your own reviews as I have mine, your rating/review is your forum.
And it stands at 1 star. FULLY finished.
My review with the full quoted section and my opinion(s) at-
Just for the record, I rarely, if ever, rate a DNF. If I have strong feelings I will and at 66%, with what I felt about The Companion, I feel justified in my rating of this book. Warning of sexual triggers in the review.
ETA August 15th, 2014: I have read the whole book. Read it a day after this initial review. I finished it in hopes it would shed light on the section I highlighted. If anything it confused me more and made me shake my head more. So for those wanting to have a go at my DNF review I finished it. It is my opinion and I am entitled to it. If you like it, good for you. I do not. I am sick of "friends" of the author jumping onto the blog - spammed - and voicing their disdain at my opinion. Write your own reviews as I have mine, your rating/review is your forum.
And it stands at 1 star. FULLY finished.
My review with the full quoted section and my opinion(s) at-
March 12, 2015
An interesting story with this book...
A perfect example of how mass-media-propaganda actually works(play with emotions, not with facts):
One quote presented without/out of any context provoked a witch hunt against a well written book.
I'm very upset.
And yes, I'm through this magical place in the book - it is NOT a perverse sex gala written by a pedophile.
And BTW, this book was nominated for the actual, the 27th Lambda Literary Award in the category gay romance.
Just for your information.
A lot of things happened here:
We have a mystery, we have a political thriller, there is a robbed childhood-yes, there is a SINGLE episode when Shepherd told Marco about his terrible secret of the past, and he could talk about it only because he considered himself to be "over it", after "at least two therapists retired in comfort by talking about it" - but can it be cured and forgotten?- and there are paranormal elements in the story. But WHAT this book actually is, in the first place, is a ROMANCE, a bit unusual love story, refreshing, different and beautifully written.
I read it literally in one sitting and loved it. And I had rated it even higher, if I would have been a big fan of mixing genres: I don't like when a mystery romance becomes paranormal. Yes, I am simply not a paranormal fan.
But on the other hand it is somehow exactly a kind of writing that makes this book unique in a special way: Lloyd A. Meeker found his own niche between the genres, he doesn't lock himself up within a genre but experiments, plays with them, and I really enjoyed the end result, and would like to read more of his work.
Sweet(how the two met and fall for each other) hot(a cop and an erotic coach), on the brink of comfort zone (talking about child molesting is not always easy, but unfortunately it exists), with a granted HEA(what kind of romance it would be without?!) and highly recommended from me(I'm actually a softie-I couldn't even read The Flesh Cartel!)
There are so many great reviews to this book, read at least one of them before you decide to mark it as "Never-ever".
will-never-ever-read
July 24, 2014What the HELL!!!! Incest with a 9 year old!!?!?! With details?!?!?!
Read spoiler with caution:
Read spoiler with caution:
August 17, 2014
“That’s with me every day, my constant companion.”
Life is about being open.
Open. Open to experience everything. The interconnectedness means that good and bad are just temporal, we're changing. Life is changing. Okay, so if you are willing or interested in books that involve more than the tangible and provable then this story will interest you. This IS NOT a collection of aphorisms, and pithy one-liners about self-realization; it's about acceptance.
I think the whole story and the meaning can be summed up succinctly with the following quote:
Maybe it merely meant that what I did mattered, that I didn’t have to make myself matter.
But, if you just take that quote then you miss the dance each character has across the pages. So, now I've come across completely new age, hippy, crystal wearing, patchouli incense burning lost cause. Even if you think most of this is hokum, you still need to be open enough to accept a character going through fundamental changes in their life. Shepard's got a lot to sort through and he does it by mixing approaches to try and succeed.
A tragic event brings Marco into Shepard's sphere. Marco's a true blue cop. They both know it's a bad idea, but want is want. How they interact is beautiful and tentative and hurts just when you feel most vulnerable. There's pain here, but more importantly there is resilience and peace. There's peace when it is all done.
For me, this was a profound read. It didn't touch on anything I wasn't familiar with, but it stirred memories and feelings. It made me think a couple times about things as they came in flashes while reading. So it was an interrupted read, but in the best way possible because it took me out of the book and back into me. Will all readers respond similarly? No. I can't say how this will affect another reader because it will depend on where they are coming from when they start it.
So, let's say that all the introspection just isn't in the cards right now or never in the interest scale. The suspense surrounding Shepard's life and the tragedy that brings Marco into it is more than interesting enough to make it worthwhile. There are some lovely characters and the plot is well thought out and delivered beautifully. It has an ingrained sense of space that traverses Los Angeles. My suggestion, read it and take what you want from it--there's plenty to please.
One caveat: There is recitation of sexual abuse of a child, not salacious, but mentioned in a summary fashion by a character. It is not for titillation, but comprehension.
Favorite quote:
All these life forms, interacting in an intricate reciprocity, did so without the slightest sense of entitlement or demand for safety.
~~A copy was provided to me for a No Glitter Blown review~~
~~~Reviewed for Hearts On Fire Reviews~~~
August 1, 2014
TO SEE LLOYD GIVING AN AMAZING VIDEO READING FROM THE COMPANION AND FOR REST OF REVIEW FOLLOW LINK ~ http://bit.ly/1oghEYG
This has probably been one of the hardest reviews that I've written and one rating I've dithered about more than any other and I hope when I've finished you feel you've read an honest, balanced review that as discerning readers you'll be able to make your own decisions and choices about without making too much of a drama out of it. I want to address why later but first I'm just going to give you an idea of the book and my feelings prior to the 'moment' that had me rethinking my opinions of the story up to that point.
So let's do the 'reviewy' bits first.....
I can't deny, The Companion started really strong for me as I got sucked into this intriguing story about Shepherd who is a Daka, a type of spiritual sexual surrogate who uses tantric, erotic energy...in his case full on sex, to "evaluate, counsel and address a clients deeply personal issues regarding sexuality, intimacy and relationship—fostering healing and integration thereof" (that's the google explanation)
Put less formally, in Shepherds own words;
"...real sex is a mystical journey that few men explore, let alone become skilled at—probably because they never learned what sex is, never had anyone that lead them into the real wonder. That's what I do. I'm a Daka. I coach men in sexual ecstasy."
Shepherd Bucknam is trust fund rich...extremely so, and like most rich kids has had issues with his (now deceased) parents, especially his alcoholic, self absorbed mother. He's beautiful, highly desirable sexually, and has no trouble giving himself physically to any man; it's his calling, but he isn't without issues. There are things from his past that have shaped his outlook on life (more of that to come later) and recurring nightmares that he feels are warnings about his future. He's convinced that these violent dreams, in which he thinks he sees himself being beaten to death are prophetic and along with a set of strange red spots like a birthmark on his neck, that arrived during puberty...the same time the nightmares began, is convinced that he's foreseeing his own death. Because of this, witnessing anything violent provokes a very strong reaction in him, similar to people who can't stand the sight of blood! Sex is his gift to give, he never discriminates about his clients. He loves that he can give enlightenment and pleasure to each and everyone of them, regardless of age, body type or looks. He teaches their bodies " to sing their sexual intimacy like Hvorostovsky sings opera" but giving his actual love is something he holds back and detaches himself from. Shepherd Bucknam is a very complex man!
To cut a long story short he meets a young hustler named Stef and seeing something in him encourages the young guy to stop prostituting. Recognizing elements of himself in this young man he offers to teach him the ways of a Daka and so becomes his mentor. They forge a very tight friendship, which granted includes sex but not in a romantic/relationship sense. They are master and apprentice but still extremely close friends, until one night Stef goes to meet a client, who he hints at as being a pretty important person. That same night he's murdered! Enter Detective Marco Fidanza, the homicide cop sent to investigate and pretty much on first meeting there's a palpable, sexually tense attraction that sparks between the two of them, which at the start is made even more tense because Shepherd is a possible suspect, but once that's taken off the cards they jump fairly quickly into what becomes a passionate but, because of Shepherds issues, complicated relationship. When Marco's investigation into Stefs murder goes cold and hits a brick wall, with the help of another ex cop turned investigator, Shepherd begins to look into the murder himself...expressly against the wishes of his tough,Italian policeman! During this time he also encounters a woman who turns the notion he has of his own future completely upside down by introducing him to the idea that the death he's seeing is not his own but is in fact the death of someone from the past, and this opens the book up to more mystical/spiritual interpretations and Shepherds life journey takes a sharp left into territories he never saw coming and an epiphany that will change his future but not in the way he ever envisaged. Obviously there's a lot more meat to the bones of the story than I've given, I've really only outlined the story, but it was completely different to what I was expecting. Not complicated as such, but far more intertwined than I thought because of its spiritual sub plots that actually played a big part in its development, however I really liked that twist on the books general premise. From the blurb I was thinking it would just be another sexy, gritty, heated, cop/victim murder mystery but it's so much more than that and all the way through the first 65% I found myself quite engrossed. There were definite flashes of 5 star brilliance because Lloyd Meeker can write!! No doubts on that count, but there were also a few things that I found myself wanting, perhaps, a bit more from. I thought that the sexual side of Marco and Shepherds relationship felt pushed, slightly, into the background. The passion and emotion was always there between them but strangely, considering the highly sexual nature of Shepherd some of their love scenes (not all I have to add) were at times slightly muted, I suppose I was expecting lots of hot and heavy graphic action in the bedroom but then again that isn't the main focus of the book so isn't an annoyed niggle, just an observation. Also there were moments when I found myself wanting a touch more 'grit' that I thought would have been more apparent in the murder side of the story but again no major issues there, just my thoughts.
And then at around 66% something happens involving him receiving a letter from his dead mother that opens another can of worms, resulting in a conversation between him and Marco about something already hinted earlier at in the story around Shepherds past that triggered a pretty strong reaction in me, one that made me put the book down to try to gather my thoughts about what I'd just read and why I'd had such an 'uncomfortable' response to it. I can't put this in spoiler tags like I could on Goodreads and I don't want to colour anyone's judgement further by pasting chunks of the books dialogue, knowing that by doing that you're only getting to see one instance in the story. So what I'll do is try to explain what bothered me and then tell you how I came to accept that as controversial as it comes over, and I'll be honest it still bothers me now when I think of it, that's not changed, I've been able to approach it with a different insight.
This is about child abuse. A trigger that I know can understandably be a make or break decision for a lot of readers. It isn't tagged in the books blurb, which I think it certainly should have been, but I reckon that lies within the publishers responsibility. It jumped out at me instantly and I think it should have done so with their editorial team but that's a discussion for another day.
Personally I'll tackle anything in a story, I may find the subject distressing and I definitely never condone or make light of whatever that subject may be, but if it's a part of the story I'll read through, knowing its the authors vision and therefore integral to the plot. I know as an adult I always have a choice to say yay or nay to anything I do or don't wish to read. But I have to say my first reaction to how Lloyd portrayed Shepherds abuse as a child of nine did take me aback, to a state of discomfort. That was because in this case, nine year old Shepherd was shown to be almost benevolently accepting of the abuse from his uncle and happy to be giving his abuser pleasure. There were key phrases from the child's POV that kept jumping out at me like "proud-happy-to do it", grateful to him" "I felt nothing but compassion for him" and I just couldn't get my head around what I was reading. This felt wrong and I seriously considered not carrying on and pulling out of reviewing the book, but I'm not a giver upper and having invested so much time to The Companion which I had been enjoying up to this point, I took a breather, talked to my blog buddy Monique and decided to read through to the end but all the while this one particular section was niggling at the back of my mind. I wanted to know why Mr Meeker would introduce something that I knew could possibly affect his readership negatively...so I contacted him and holding nothing back about how I felt, aired all my unease and worries, not knowing what sort of a reaction I would get from him.
First of all I have to say what a gracious, considerate, and clement man Lloyd Meeker is. He took my concerns seriously, was quite accepting of the possibility of me not wanting to even review the book, in fact he told me he understood and if I felt I couldn't review his book not to worry, and from then on we ended up having one of the most honest, open conversations I've ever had with a stranger, because of course that's how we started out. I was humbled because he entrusted me with some very private, personal life experiences that he didn't need to offer up, most of which are his to tell not mine but what I can tell you guys, is that this book is semi autobiographical. Shepherds abuse is based on Lloyd's own personal memories and in a roundabout way, his own unconventional upbringing. Below are some of his answer's from parts of our conversation that made me realise there are aspects of child abuse that unless we've been victims ourselves can be hard to comprehend, therefore never make spot judgements—I could quite easily have got on my high horse and ranted about how I felt that this was irresponsibly written, because as far as I was concerned this upside down view of a child's reasoning was just ridiculous. Surely this portrayal of child abuse couldn't be right?— I would have been so wrong! There's also the fact that each persons reactions to it later in life are obviously not so cut and dried.
He's been very kind in letting me choose and relate publicly, some of his replies relating to himself...for rest of review follow link~ http://bit.ly/1oghEY
This has probably been one of the hardest reviews that I've written and one rating I've dithered about more than any other and I hope when I've finished you feel you've read an honest, balanced review that as discerning readers you'll be able to make your own decisions and choices about without making too much of a drama out of it. I want to address why later but first I'm just going to give you an idea of the book and my feelings prior to the 'moment' that had me rethinking my opinions of the story up to that point.
So let's do the 'reviewy' bits first.....
I can't deny, The Companion started really strong for me as I got sucked into this intriguing story about Shepherd who is a Daka, a type of spiritual sexual surrogate who uses tantric, erotic energy...in his case full on sex, to "evaluate, counsel and address a clients deeply personal issues regarding sexuality, intimacy and relationship—fostering healing and integration thereof" (that's the google explanation)
Put less formally, in Shepherds own words;
"...real sex is a mystical journey that few men explore, let alone become skilled at—probably because they never learned what sex is, never had anyone that lead them into the real wonder. That's what I do. I'm a Daka. I coach men in sexual ecstasy."
Shepherd Bucknam is trust fund rich...extremely so, and like most rich kids has had issues with his (now deceased) parents, especially his alcoholic, self absorbed mother. He's beautiful, highly desirable sexually, and has no trouble giving himself physically to any man; it's his calling, but he isn't without issues. There are things from his past that have shaped his outlook on life (more of that to come later) and recurring nightmares that he feels are warnings about his future. He's convinced that these violent dreams, in which he thinks he sees himself being beaten to death are prophetic and along with a set of strange red spots like a birthmark on his neck, that arrived during puberty...the same time the nightmares began, is convinced that he's foreseeing his own death. Because of this, witnessing anything violent provokes a very strong reaction in him, similar to people who can't stand the sight of blood! Sex is his gift to give, he never discriminates about his clients. He loves that he can give enlightenment and pleasure to each and everyone of them, regardless of age, body type or looks. He teaches their bodies " to sing their sexual intimacy like Hvorostovsky sings opera" but giving his actual love is something he holds back and detaches himself from. Shepherd Bucknam is a very complex man!
To cut a long story short he meets a young hustler named Stef and seeing something in him encourages the young guy to stop prostituting. Recognizing elements of himself in this young man he offers to teach him the ways of a Daka and so becomes his mentor. They forge a very tight friendship, which granted includes sex but not in a romantic/relationship sense. They are master and apprentice but still extremely close friends, until one night Stef goes to meet a client, who he hints at as being a pretty important person. That same night he's murdered! Enter Detective Marco Fidanza, the homicide cop sent to investigate and pretty much on first meeting there's a palpable, sexually tense attraction that sparks between the two of them, which at the start is made even more tense because Shepherd is a possible suspect, but once that's taken off the cards they jump fairly quickly into what becomes a passionate but, because of Shepherds issues, complicated relationship. When Marco's investigation into Stefs murder goes cold and hits a brick wall, with the help of another ex cop turned investigator, Shepherd begins to look into the murder himself...expressly against the wishes of his tough,Italian policeman! During this time he also encounters a woman who turns the notion he has of his own future completely upside down by introducing him to the idea that the death he's seeing is not his own but is in fact the death of someone from the past, and this opens the book up to more mystical/spiritual interpretations and Shepherds life journey takes a sharp left into territories he never saw coming and an epiphany that will change his future but not in the way he ever envisaged. Obviously there's a lot more meat to the bones of the story than I've given, I've really only outlined the story, but it was completely different to what I was expecting. Not complicated as such, but far more intertwined than I thought because of its spiritual sub plots that actually played a big part in its development, however I really liked that twist on the books general premise. From the blurb I was thinking it would just be another sexy, gritty, heated, cop/victim murder mystery but it's so much more than that and all the way through the first 65% I found myself quite engrossed. There were definite flashes of 5 star brilliance because Lloyd Meeker can write!! No doubts on that count, but there were also a few things that I found myself wanting, perhaps, a bit more from. I thought that the sexual side of Marco and Shepherds relationship felt pushed, slightly, into the background. The passion and emotion was always there between them but strangely, considering the highly sexual nature of Shepherd some of their love scenes (not all I have to add) were at times slightly muted, I suppose I was expecting lots of hot and heavy graphic action in the bedroom but then again that isn't the main focus of the book so isn't an annoyed niggle, just an observation. Also there were moments when I found myself wanting a touch more 'grit' that I thought would have been more apparent in the murder side of the story but again no major issues there, just my thoughts.
And then at around 66% something happens involving him receiving a letter from his dead mother that opens another can of worms, resulting in a conversation between him and Marco about something already hinted earlier at in the story around Shepherds past that triggered a pretty strong reaction in me, one that made me put the book down to try to gather my thoughts about what I'd just read and why I'd had such an 'uncomfortable' response to it. I can't put this in spoiler tags like I could on Goodreads and I don't want to colour anyone's judgement further by pasting chunks of the books dialogue, knowing that by doing that you're only getting to see one instance in the story. So what I'll do is try to explain what bothered me and then tell you how I came to accept that as controversial as it comes over, and I'll be honest it still bothers me now when I think of it, that's not changed, I've been able to approach it with a different insight.
This is about child abuse. A trigger that I know can understandably be a make or break decision for a lot of readers. It isn't tagged in the books blurb, which I think it certainly should have been, but I reckon that lies within the publishers responsibility. It jumped out at me instantly and I think it should have done so with their editorial team but that's a discussion for another day.
Personally I'll tackle anything in a story, I may find the subject distressing and I definitely never condone or make light of whatever that subject may be, but if it's a part of the story I'll read through, knowing its the authors vision and therefore integral to the plot. I know as an adult I always have a choice to say yay or nay to anything I do or don't wish to read. But I have to say my first reaction to how Lloyd portrayed Shepherds abuse as a child of nine did take me aback, to a state of discomfort. That was because in this case, nine year old Shepherd was shown to be almost benevolently accepting of the abuse from his uncle and happy to be giving his abuser pleasure. There were key phrases from the child's POV that kept jumping out at me like "proud-happy-to do it", grateful to him" "I felt nothing but compassion for him" and I just couldn't get my head around what I was reading. This felt wrong and I seriously considered not carrying on and pulling out of reviewing the book, but I'm not a giver upper and having invested so much time to The Companion which I had been enjoying up to this point, I took a breather, talked to my blog buddy Monique and decided to read through to the end but all the while this one particular section was niggling at the back of my mind. I wanted to know why Mr Meeker would introduce something that I knew could possibly affect his readership negatively...so I contacted him and holding nothing back about how I felt, aired all my unease and worries, not knowing what sort of a reaction I would get from him.
First of all I have to say what a gracious, considerate, and clement man Lloyd Meeker is. He took my concerns seriously, was quite accepting of the possibility of me not wanting to even review the book, in fact he told me he understood and if I felt I couldn't review his book not to worry, and from then on we ended up having one of the most honest, open conversations I've ever had with a stranger, because of course that's how we started out. I was humbled because he entrusted me with some very private, personal life experiences that he didn't need to offer up, most of which are his to tell not mine but what I can tell you guys, is that this book is semi autobiographical. Shepherds abuse is based on Lloyd's own personal memories and in a roundabout way, his own unconventional upbringing. Below are some of his answer's from parts of our conversation that made me realise there are aspects of child abuse that unless we've been victims ourselves can be hard to comprehend, therefore never make spot judgements—I could quite easily have got on my high horse and ranted about how I felt that this was irresponsibly written, because as far as I was concerned this upside down view of a child's reasoning was just ridiculous. Surely this portrayal of child abuse couldn't be right?— I would have been so wrong! There's also the fact that each persons reactions to it later in life are obviously not so cut and dried.
He's been very kind in letting me choose and relate publicly, some of his replies relating to himself...for rest of review follow link~ http://bit.ly/1oghEY
October 6, 2015
I fell in love with both Shepherd and Marco, and their journey of discovery. I could have continued reading about them forever and didn't want their story to end. 4 very solid stars!
not-interested
October 14, 2014I will not be reading this due to this appalling section in the book:
Apparently it's worse than I thought and the character never understands or changes his thinking. I understand the story is somewhat autobiographical, so I read direct quotes from the author which actually support my stance that this book is unrealistic. Please see the discussion below for specifics.
Apparently it's worse than I thought and the character never understands or changes his thinking. I understand the story is somewhat autobiographical, so I read direct quotes from the author which actually support my stance that this book is unrealistic. Please see the discussion below for specifics.
March 12, 2015
I need to say this: i dont know why and who started the Rumors about this book, and the alleged untasteful content, but it could not be more wrong! For start, it's not that graphic, most of us read much worse, and to say that he enjoyed it as a kid, is taking the all scene out of context, and missing the damn point.
As I see it, it's OK to dislike a book and give it low rating, but it is unfair to give one star or say nasty things about a book that you didn’t bother to read.
If you find incest offensive (although, unfortunately it exists in this world and books talks about it often as a childhood trauma, including this one) move on, read something else, but don’t be unjust and state facts that are absolutely wrong.
BTW, it’s a damn good book!!!
As I see it, it's OK to dislike a book and give it low rating, but it is unfair to give one star or say nasty things about a book that you didn’t bother to read.
If you find incest offensive (although, unfortunately it exists in this world and books talks about it often as a childhood trauma, including this one) move on, read something else, but don’t be unjust and state facts that are absolutely wrong.
BTW, it’s a damn good book!!!
February 16, 2016
This. Goddamn. Story.
It's a goddamn revelation, that's what it is. I came to a realization towards the end-ish that this is gay Siddhartha, but more relatable/understandable. See below for comments I made while reading. Some spoilers, since I guess the thing can kind of be a spoiler, if you're viewing it from a Siddhartha sort of way. Reader's discretion is advised:
The reincarnation aspect is interesting. It's started seeping over into the now, but it still all makes sense, and it hasn't gotten to the point where it feels kitschy. ...because even then, it was still directed more into self-development and self-discovery. The best part is you can feel the message. . That's incredibly evident in the writing. This is like Siddhartha, but gay. Instead of the river, it's the dance. Wow. Just...wow.
Unlike Siddhartha, which takes place in a realm beyond, this story starts on Earth and ends back down on Earth. But God, that middle section. Bella.
On a different note, the distribution of this story is odd. The past life aspect isn't introduced until well past the half-way point, yet it ended up seeming so important, but then, by the end, not important at all, really (goddamn Siddhartha). Towards the end, when it ties it back down to Earth and the realm of the mundane, I kept glancing anxiously at the progress bar, thinking there wasn't enough space left for actual shit to actually get tied up. I think it still managed, decently at the very least.
Below are some (partially incoherent) comments I made while reading, some of which were typed on my phone (hence, the incoherency) that I went through and corrected the spellings of but gave up trying to revise the grammar:
I'm...leery about this whole past life stuff. See, I read this other mystery before where past-life shit got involved, and at first it was sorta interesting and added to the atmosphere, but the way the resolution was handled ruined the whole thing for me. It put a disproportionate emphasis on past affecting now without really exploring it. The reason for what happened was past-life, but what actually happened was present-oriented, which bothered me and killed the story.
This kind of seems like it's going that way once the past-life stuff gets fully introduced. D: I don't want the plot to become a subordinate of the past-life intrigue...
What an oddly charismatic piece.
I've had to grudgingly but also awestrickenly (I don't give a crap if that's not a word; I've given up on looking for an appropriate adverb) admit that the way the reincarnation/past life stuff is handled is great. It's... transcendent. I think the key difference between this and the other one I mention earlier is that the aspect carried the plot of the other one, whereas this one was turned inward into self-discovery. It did annoy me a bit that MC should have this where others don't, but author handled it well - by lampshading it and making a tastefully self depreciating remark/joke.
It's a goddamn revelation, that's what it is. I came to a realization towards the end-ish that this is gay Siddhartha, but more relatable/understandable. See below for comments I made while reading. Some spoilers, since I guess the thing can kind of be a spoiler, if you're viewing it from a Siddhartha sort of way. Reader's discretion is advised:
The reincarnation aspect is interesting. It's started seeping over into the now, but it still all makes sense, and it hasn't gotten to the point where it feels kitschy. ...because even then, it was still directed more into self-development and self-discovery. The best part is you can feel the message. . That's incredibly evident in the writing. This is like Siddhartha, but gay. Instead of the river, it's the dance. Wow. Just...wow.
Unlike Siddhartha, which takes place in a realm beyond, this story starts on Earth and ends back down on Earth. But God, that middle section. Bella.
On a different note, the distribution of this story is odd. The past life aspect isn't introduced until well past the half-way point, yet it ended up seeming so important, but then, by the end, not important at all, really (goddamn Siddhartha). Towards the end, when it ties it back down to Earth and the realm of the mundane, I kept glancing anxiously at the progress bar, thinking there wasn't enough space left for actual shit to actually get tied up. I think it still managed, decently at the very least.
Below are some (partially incoherent) comments I made while reading, some of which were typed on my phone (hence, the incoherency) that I went through and corrected the spellings of but gave up trying to revise the grammar:
I'm...leery about this whole past life stuff. See, I read this other mystery before where past-life shit got involved, and at first it was sorta interesting and added to the atmosphere, but the way the resolution was handled ruined the whole thing for me. It put a disproportionate emphasis on past affecting now without really exploring it. The reason for what happened was past-life, but what actually happened was present-oriented, which bothered me and killed the story.
This kind of seems like it's going that way once the past-life stuff gets fully introduced. D: I don't want the plot to become a subordinate of the past-life intrigue...
What an oddly charismatic piece.
I've had to grudgingly but also awestrickenly (I don't give a crap if that's not a word; I've given up on looking for an appropriate adverb) admit that the way the reincarnation/past life stuff is handled is great. It's... transcendent. I think the key difference between this and the other one I mention earlier is that the aspect carried the plot of the other one, whereas this one was turned inward into self-discovery. It did annoy me a bit that MC should have this where others don't, but author handled it well - by lampshading it and making a tastefully self depreciating remark/joke.
June 15, 2016
The Companion
By Lloyd A. Meeker
Dreamspinner Press, 2014
Cover design by Paul Richmond
ISBN: 978-1-62798-850-6
Five stars
Shepherd Bucknam has everything under control. Rich, beautiful, highly successful as a private sex therapist, he embraces life with gusto and style. Indulged and neglected as a child, Shepherd has a small circle of like-minded friends and a carefully choreographed social life.
All of this falls apart when his friend and protégé Stef is found brutally murdered in his studio, and Shepherd becomes a person of interest to LAPD detective Marco Fidanza. Fidanza is the opposite of Bucknam: a by-the-rules guy from a big Italian family of cops and matriarchs. Marco sees Shepherd’s sleek lifestyle and not-really-legal career as dubious, to say the least.
That both men are irresistibly drawn to each other is only to be expected, but Meeker’s elegant prose turns a standard fictional trope into an intense, compelling pas de deux, as these two strong, independent men try to figure each other out, and begin to understand the nature of their connection.
For all his smooth glamour, Shepherd is troubled by nightmares and bitter memories; and for all his swagger and self-confidence, Marco is profoundly lonely. They both see their affair as a looming disaster, and yet, and yet…Driven by a shared desire to solve Stef’s murder, Shepherd and Marco delve into ugly politics, the possibility of past lives, and the unavoidable truth that love is both necessary and disruptive. For all his generous soul, Shepherd is arrogant and used to getting his way. In spite of his romantic heart, Marco is suspicious of anything that veers away from hard facts. Shepherd is used to bending the rules; Marco follows them to the letter.
Meeker has created two vivid, sympathetic characters and placed them in conflict and love with each other. For all the murder-driven plot, the story is really about the much more complex yearnings of the heart and the inexplicable workings of the human spirit. Because the narrative is all from Shepherd’s point of view, ultimately this is his journey, his discovery that in in order to achieve what he wants, he must give up the carefully maintained control that has been at the focus of his life.
By Lloyd A. Meeker
Dreamspinner Press, 2014
Cover design by Paul Richmond
ISBN: 978-1-62798-850-6
Five stars
Shepherd Bucknam has everything under control. Rich, beautiful, highly successful as a private sex therapist, he embraces life with gusto and style. Indulged and neglected as a child, Shepherd has a small circle of like-minded friends and a carefully choreographed social life.
All of this falls apart when his friend and protégé Stef is found brutally murdered in his studio, and Shepherd becomes a person of interest to LAPD detective Marco Fidanza. Fidanza is the opposite of Bucknam: a by-the-rules guy from a big Italian family of cops and matriarchs. Marco sees Shepherd’s sleek lifestyle and not-really-legal career as dubious, to say the least.
That both men are irresistibly drawn to each other is only to be expected, but Meeker’s elegant prose turns a standard fictional trope into an intense, compelling pas de deux, as these two strong, independent men try to figure each other out, and begin to understand the nature of their connection.
For all his smooth glamour, Shepherd is troubled by nightmares and bitter memories; and for all his swagger and self-confidence, Marco is profoundly lonely. They both see their affair as a looming disaster, and yet, and yet…Driven by a shared desire to solve Stef’s murder, Shepherd and Marco delve into ugly politics, the possibility of past lives, and the unavoidable truth that love is both necessary and disruptive. For all his generous soul, Shepherd is arrogant and used to getting his way. In spite of his romantic heart, Marco is suspicious of anything that veers away from hard facts. Shepherd is used to bending the rules; Marco follows them to the letter.
Meeker has created two vivid, sympathetic characters and placed them in conflict and love with each other. For all the murder-driven plot, the story is really about the much more complex yearnings of the heart and the inexplicable workings of the human spirit. Because the narrative is all from Shepherd’s point of view, ultimately this is his journey, his discovery that in in order to achieve what he wants, he must give up the carefully maintained control that has been at the focus of his life.
September 28, 2015
This is one of those books that feel truly special. A celebration of love and intimacy between two men and a spiritual journey in beautifully poetic words. I don't think I can do justice to the book in any kind of review, because I read other reviews before starting the book and had no idea what the book would be like. For me, this book works as M/M Romance, Gay ROmance or Gay Fiction. It has a strong mystery and a strong spiritual plot and it somehow all connects well together. It will take me a bit to form a more detailed review, but I can already say that this will end up as one of my all-time favorites.
July 25, 2014
Excellent!
March 8, 2018
This book really bugged me. First off, I think the blurb aught to tell you straight out that this book is a loop trip into lalala spiritual land of past lives, hypnosis, reincarnation, etc, because that's about 80% of the book.
Worse than that is the chemistry of the main characters. Let me clarify: the LACK of chemistry of the main characters. The cop Marco is kind of a total jerk and yet Shep's like "yeah, sure, I'll go out with you even though you enjoyed watching me suffer" because even if he was just doing it "as a cop" he was still being a real ass and clearly enjoyed being an ass. Why would you go out with someone like that? You wouldn't. You'd tolerate him while you were being investigated and never look back.
Then? Once they are in a relationship, Shep tells him his deepest fears, his past loves, his horrible family history and problems with his mother, even brings him into his old house to share his past and all that it meant to him. He tells him what his job means to him in heart wrenching detail. Yet what does the ass Marco say? "you can't complain about my job but we can't be together unless you quit yours" and even better, "you can't possibly be invested in this relationship, you won't share yourself with me because you have money and I don't" WHAT? Serious?? Marco, meanwhile, has only brought Shep home once for a family dinner. That's it. That's the extent of what he has shared of himself. He tells Shep that he sings but NO, he will NOT share that with Shep because that's HIS THING ONLY. Marco takes. Shep gives and gives. Yet Marco is still somehow the one being chased and deciding on a whim if Shep is good enough for him. Ugh.
Worse than that is the chemistry of the main characters. Let me clarify: the LACK of chemistry of the main characters. The cop Marco is kind of a total jerk and yet Shep's like "yeah, sure, I'll go out with you even though you enjoyed watching me suffer" because even if he was just doing it "as a cop" he was still being a real ass and clearly enjoyed being an ass. Why would you go out with someone like that? You wouldn't. You'd tolerate him while you were being investigated and never look back.
Then? Once they are in a relationship, Shep tells him his deepest fears, his past loves, his horrible family history and problems with his mother, even brings him into his old house to share his past and all that it meant to him. He tells him what his job means to him in heart wrenching detail. Yet what does the ass Marco say? "you can't complain about my job but we can't be together unless you quit yours" and even better, "you can't possibly be invested in this relationship, you won't share yourself with me because you have money and I don't" WHAT? Serious?? Marco, meanwhile, has only brought Shep home once for a family dinner. That's it. That's the extent of what he has shared of himself. He tells Shep that he sings but NO, he will NOT share that with Shep because that's HIS THING ONLY. Marco takes. Shep gives and gives. Yet Marco is still somehow the one being chased and deciding on a whim if Shep is good enough for him. Ugh.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
dnf-and-dnw
March 22, 2015After reading this review and others, as well as comments in various places, this is definitely an author I will steer clear of, and honestly it sort of makes me lose faith in Dreamspinner as well.
SPOILER AND TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR RAPE, INCEST, PEDOPHILIA
Even if the troubling sections are based on personal experience, ESPECIALLY if they're based on personal experience, the author and publisher should be aware how damaging that sort of scene could be. From what I've read, it is painting the uncle, who rapes his nine-year old nephew, as basically a good man and shows a nine year old being okay with the assault, wanting to help his uncle, knowing it's his destiny, etc.
And one reviewer having a long, personal conversation with the author does not justify the scene. Not everyone can do that. And there are all kinds of people who would read that book, never see that scene coming, and be triggered to relive their own years of horrible fucking abuse.
It would have hurt no one to add the trigger warning. That the author and the publisher decided it was better to hurt people rather than, what, spoil a shocking revelation? Speaks poorly of all parties.
So yes, never reading this author, if only because I won't give my money to somebody who thinks his shocking moment means it's okay to hurt people.
probably-not-for-me
December 19, 2016Please read Lena's review because she made me reconsider and wanting to read this book, despite people proclaiming it's right out of hell or something.
I believe this is a great book. I'm more and more liking books that got a Lambda Award nomination, too, and I started the sample, but think that this is just not made for me. I'm a bit sensitive to esoteric, and this seems to be just that. I should have read the blurb a bit closer ;-)
I believe this is a great book. I'm more and more liking books that got a Lambda Award nomination, too, and I started the sample, but think that this is just not made for me. I'm a bit sensitive to esoteric, and this seems to be just that. I should have read the blurb a bit closer ;-)
wont-read
August 10, 2014(I just copy-pasted Tina's word...)
No, no. Never
Incest that started with the main character when he was 9 years old portrayed as okay.
Fuck that. Not going in spoilers either. People need to know, especially if this is a trigger.
Read review with details
No, no. Never
Incest that started with the main character when he was 9 years old portrayed as okay.
Fuck that. Not going in spoilers either. People need to know, especially if this is a trigger.
Read review with details
October 5, 2024
I read this solely for the controversy (and the $1 sale price) because the blurb did not grab me. The first half dragged a bit (I could've done without Laurie altogether and specifically her long eulogy story that served no purpose) and I didn't feel anything for Shepherd. He didn't seem like a real person that I could get attached to. Things picked up in the second half when I became invested in learning about Shepherd's past, the meaning of his dream, and if he'd be able to keep his promise to Stef.
Overall it added up to an okay read for me. My main problem was due to my total disconnect with anything metaphysical. Sex as a spiritual experience just makes my eyes roll. If you're into philosophical pursuits you'll enjoy this more than I did.
As for the hubbub over the depiction of child sexual abuse,
Overall it added up to an okay read for me. My main problem was due to my total disconnect with anything metaphysical. Sex as a spiritual experience just makes my eyes roll. If you're into philosophical pursuits you'll enjoy this more than I did.
As for the hubbub over the depiction of child sexual abuse,
August 17, 2014
This is my first review and I am looking forward to writing more. I am a big fan of gay books, especially mysteries and romances. I am not as experienced in reviewing as many that I have read so take my comments with that in mind.
I loved this book. I have read his other book -- Enigma -- and, like that book, I was surprised by the ending. Far too often, I find mysteries fairly predictable so these books have been an enjoyable departure. I also enjoyed the combination of mystery and romance coming together with influences from past lives. He weaves those elements so seamlessly.
Unlike other reviewers, I was not turned off by the past experience of child sexual abuse. It seemed to me that Shepherd had worked through that trauma as he matured. Shepherd was never saying that sexual abuse of children was acceptable and I was pleased with how punishment was meted out.
Above all, Meeker's writing is excellent. He is a master of using a vocabulary that is so specific and detailed it is like seeing a picture. I found myself continually smiling at his superb choice of words.
I hope he writes more of these.
I loved this book. I have read his other book -- Enigma -- and, like that book, I was surprised by the ending. Far too often, I find mysteries fairly predictable so these books have been an enjoyable departure. I also enjoyed the combination of mystery and romance coming together with influences from past lives. He weaves those elements so seamlessly.
Unlike other reviewers, I was not turned off by the past experience of child sexual abuse. It seemed to me that Shepherd had worked through that trauma as he matured. Shepherd was never saying that sexual abuse of children was acceptable and I was pleased with how punishment was meted out.
Above all, Meeker's writing is excellent. He is a master of using a vocabulary that is so specific and detailed it is like seeing a picture. I found myself continually smiling at his superb choice of words.
I hope he writes more of these.
March 16, 2015
Okay. So people were like super outraged by this book, and that me made really, really want to read it. But the thing that outraged them was like this tiny, almost insignificant part of the story. It's disturbing, and was handled waaaay too glibly by the author, but it really doesn't merit the bitch-fit everyone threw. So read it or don't read it, but know that it really isn't the antichrist or whatever.
Now that that's out of the way, let's to get to why this book is actually outrageous. It just has no idea what it wants to be. The bones of a good murder-mystery/cop drama-romance are there. But there's all this other mystical stuff that is either entirely superfluous, or deserves its own book. The mystical, new-age stuff takes up so much space but adds nothing to the plot, thin as it is. Shepard's job as a sexual ecstasy coach was an interesting side note that is never realised. And there all these dangling bombshells that aren't really explored. It's kind of a mess, to be honest.
Ultimately it was a 3 star read for me. But a complicated 3 stars.
+1 for the beautiful writing, but -1 for how many times I rolled my eyes in the last 15%.
Now that that's out of the way, let's to get to why this book is actually outrageous. It just has no idea what it wants to be. The bones of a good murder-mystery/cop drama-romance are there. But there's all this other mystical stuff that is either entirely superfluous, or deserves its own book. The mystical, new-age stuff takes up so much space but adds nothing to the plot, thin as it is. Shepard's job as a sexual ecstasy coach was an interesting side note that is never realised. And there all these dangling bombshells that aren't really explored. It's kind of a mess, to be honest.
Ultimately it was a 3 star read for me. But a complicated 3 stars.
+1 for the beautiful writing, but -1 for how many times I rolled my eyes in the last 15%.
August 24, 2014
This book has easily become one of my favorites. Most characters I'm attracted to have depth and feeling; I'm not disappointed in Shepard Bucknam. I like to understand why they behave the way they do, it's what keeps me reading, despite storylines. It's rare that I put a book down because I'm shocked by the content. It's only happened once, and I will not name the book because I'm certain it’s a great tale I’ve missed, but I do read the dark ones, so I tend to know what I’m getting into for the most part. I've even considered going back to it when I have time.
This book sang to me on so many levels. I'm often surprised by the visceral reactions people have regarding child sexual abuse in stories, and I have to think or wonder, if they believe that because it is an aspect of a story, or character, then it’s a promotion of the act portrayed? In this book, it's spoken of by the character who experienced it, giving an honest opinion to how he felt at the time.
Reviews are not something I’m good at, and by nature, they’re subjective. So in my honest, subjective, opinion, I know I’ve gone on a wonderful journey. I can see the forest for the trees. I feel like my green patch is waiting.
I guess for folks, it comes back to the child abuse as abhorrent and shocking subject matter, but for us who have experienced it, we each deal with it in a different way. I’ve come to write and read about characters nearly devoured by it, but then somehow redeem their lives in the end. For me it makes the suffering worth it, and if anyone has ever suffered, none of us want to feel it has been in vain.
Writers write about life, in order to deal with things they’ve experienced, or read about, or witnessed. Readers sometimes read to escape, sometimes read to face fears, sometimes read for the journey. Other times they read for pure pleasure. I read this book for all those reasons, already knowing the subject matter, and willing to dive in head first. From the first sentence of this book, I was hooked.
Not everyone will love this book with the same heart and soul that I do, but maybe if they give it a chance, take the time to understand the characters, the situations, and the meanings woven into the text, they might come away feeling as enriched as I have become.
Do I not feel shocked by a sister who exacts revenge in such a manner on her own brother? Or shocked and outraged by a man who could sexually molest his nephew? I do feel shock, but I didn’t read this story to not feel. I read it to feel. To dance and sing, eat and fuck, cry and laugh with the characters whose lives I share for a brief moment, or for however many times I reread the book.
This is a work of art. To me, that’s plain and simple.
All of human existence belongs to the scope of the writer. Some have a different view than others, it’s why we chose the books we read, and love. Readers don’t have to like a book, or love a book, and everyone has opinions that matter to them. The content wasn't shocking to me because, for me personally, I’m shocked by folks not having some sort of experience.
Yes, for some folks there can be triggers. For me, there were none because I’ve come to understand things in the a similar manner to Shepard, in that it’s something that has happened in the past and now only I can control how I feel about it for the rest of my life. One of the ways I deal with it, is by reading stories like these, and writing stories about survivors.
In real life, it’s not pretty, and this is where I give Mr. Meeker kudos for creating such a sophisticated character who is just as broken as any other human being on the planet and washing him in such beautiful tones. Shepard is real to me. Marco is powerful and I believe given time, he could have been more of the hero to Shepard, but this was Shepard’s story. It was his life to save.
The Companion ended too soon for me. I wanted more...needed more from Marco, from Shepard, but I didn't get that, but it hasn't affected the journey I enjoyed. I loved the sensual feel between Marco and Shepard. The way Marco devoured him, time and again, but didn’t destroy Shepard. He nearly did, but Shepard is a strong character.
I thought this book was beautifully written. The love and pain I experienced through Shepard was vast. I am grateful to the author for the experience. Where Mr. Meeker is transcendent, I am gritty, and his book now sits in my heart next to another transcendent favorite, The Dancers of Arun. I may be unable to write beauty, but I can recognize it from a long ways off.
Some dismiss this book, but at its heart is the same message of every other romance: love. Mr. Meeker’s story isn’t condoning child sexual abuse, but it is a facet of the character he is speaking of, and relaying, so we might all experience the wisdom of the tale and understand the character.
The point, in the end, is of love, healing, and redemption. I believe Mr. Meeker has reached all those goals and I'm privileged to have read his book.
Thank you, sir, for a fantastic ride.
This book sang to me on so many levels. I'm often surprised by the visceral reactions people have regarding child sexual abuse in stories, and I have to think or wonder, if they believe that because it is an aspect of a story, or character, then it’s a promotion of the act portrayed? In this book, it's spoken of by the character who experienced it, giving an honest opinion to how he felt at the time.
Reviews are not something I’m good at, and by nature, they’re subjective. So in my honest, subjective, opinion, I know I’ve gone on a wonderful journey. I can see the forest for the trees. I feel like my green patch is waiting.
I guess for folks, it comes back to the child abuse as abhorrent and shocking subject matter, but for us who have experienced it, we each deal with it in a different way. I’ve come to write and read about characters nearly devoured by it, but then somehow redeem their lives in the end. For me it makes the suffering worth it, and if anyone has ever suffered, none of us want to feel it has been in vain.
Writers write about life, in order to deal with things they’ve experienced, or read about, or witnessed. Readers sometimes read to escape, sometimes read to face fears, sometimes read for the journey. Other times they read for pure pleasure. I read this book for all those reasons, already knowing the subject matter, and willing to dive in head first. From the first sentence of this book, I was hooked.
Not everyone will love this book with the same heart and soul that I do, but maybe if they give it a chance, take the time to understand the characters, the situations, and the meanings woven into the text, they might come away feeling as enriched as I have become.
Do I not feel shocked by a sister who exacts revenge in such a manner on her own brother? Or shocked and outraged by a man who could sexually molest his nephew? I do feel shock, but I didn’t read this story to not feel. I read it to feel. To dance and sing, eat and fuck, cry and laugh with the characters whose lives I share for a brief moment, or for however many times I reread the book.
This is a work of art. To me, that’s plain and simple.
All of human existence belongs to the scope of the writer. Some have a different view than others, it’s why we chose the books we read, and love. Readers don’t have to like a book, or love a book, and everyone has opinions that matter to them. The content wasn't shocking to me because, for me personally, I’m shocked by folks not having some sort of experience.
Yes, for some folks there can be triggers. For me, there were none because I’ve come to understand things in the a similar manner to Shepard, in that it’s something that has happened in the past and now only I can control how I feel about it for the rest of my life. One of the ways I deal with it, is by reading stories like these, and writing stories about survivors.
In real life, it’s not pretty, and this is where I give Mr. Meeker kudos for creating such a sophisticated character who is just as broken as any other human being on the planet and washing him in such beautiful tones. Shepard is real to me. Marco is powerful and I believe given time, he could have been more of the hero to Shepard, but this was Shepard’s story. It was his life to save.
The Companion ended too soon for me. I wanted more...needed more from Marco, from Shepard, but I didn't get that, but it hasn't affected the journey I enjoyed. I loved the sensual feel between Marco and Shepard. The way Marco devoured him, time and again, but didn’t destroy Shepard. He nearly did, but Shepard is a strong character.
I thought this book was beautifully written. The love and pain I experienced through Shepard was vast. I am grateful to the author for the experience. Where Mr. Meeker is transcendent, I am gritty, and his book now sits in my heart next to another transcendent favorite, The Dancers of Arun. I may be unable to write beauty, but I can recognize it from a long ways off.
Some dismiss this book, but at its heart is the same message of every other romance: love. Mr. Meeker’s story isn’t condoning child sexual abuse, but it is a facet of the character he is speaking of, and relaying, so we might all experience the wisdom of the tale and understand the character.
The point, in the end, is of love, healing, and redemption. I believe Mr. Meeker has reached all those goals and I'm privileged to have read his book.
Thank you, sir, for a fantastic ride.
August 5, 2014
From my All About Romance Review:
Spiritual healing and a brutal murder intersect in this look at two men's journey to love. If this sounds very touchy-feely, it should because the story is partly a police procedural and partly an elegant journey into the world of the unexplainable.
Daka Shepherd Bucknam is not only rich and handsome - except for three red circular growths on his neck - but he's also perfectly content helping men reach their full sexual potential - and thereby happiness - in his practice. He's particularly pleased with his protege Stef, an Oklahoma farm boy, who's showing great progress.
When Stef's brutally murdered and Shepherd becomes a prime suspect, however, his world crashes around him, particularly since he's attracted to LAPD Detective Marco Fidanza who views Shepherd's profession through skeptical eyes.
Because he doesn't think that Marco is doing enough to solve Stef's murder and he is convinced Marco is looking in all the wrong places, Shepherd sets out to find the killer despite having no police training and suffering from nightmares predicting his own death.
Meeker skillfully intertwines an interesting love story between two totally different kinds of men and the sordid crime investigation while delving into the murky waters of past lives and reincarnation as well as fortune telling and auras. The spiritual as personified by Shepherd and the material in Marco can only be whole when they come together.
Read the rest of the review at All About Romance: http://www.likesbooks.com/cgi-bin/boo...
Spiritual healing and a brutal murder intersect in this look at two men's journey to love. If this sounds very touchy-feely, it should because the story is partly a police procedural and partly an elegant journey into the world of the unexplainable.
Daka Shepherd Bucknam is not only rich and handsome - except for three red circular growths on his neck - but he's also perfectly content helping men reach their full sexual potential - and thereby happiness - in his practice. He's particularly pleased with his protege Stef, an Oklahoma farm boy, who's showing great progress.
When Stef's brutally murdered and Shepherd becomes a prime suspect, however, his world crashes around him, particularly since he's attracted to LAPD Detective Marco Fidanza who views Shepherd's profession through skeptical eyes.
Because he doesn't think that Marco is doing enough to solve Stef's murder and he is convinced Marco is looking in all the wrong places, Shepherd sets out to find the killer despite having no police training and suffering from nightmares predicting his own death.
Meeker skillfully intertwines an interesting love story between two totally different kinds of men and the sordid crime investigation while delving into the murky waters of past lives and reincarnation as well as fortune telling and auras. The spiritual as personified by Shepherd and the material in Marco can only be whole when they come together.
Read the rest of the review at All About Romance: http://www.likesbooks.com/cgi-bin/boo...
September 21, 2015
Finally finished this book. I had to force myself simply so that I could give an honest review. This book's message on sexual assault is downright irresponsible. How this was allowed to be published is beyond me. Shame because the book held promise, but I cannot forgive it for the questionable viewpoint it holds. This book, in my opinion, excuses the inexcusable; like reading a page from the NAMBLA playbook. It makes my skin crawl.
August 7, 2014
Enjoyed reading Shep and Marco's journey. I've just read the other reviews listed as DNF- and I must say even though this is a sensitive topic, it happens and am adult enough to move past and embrace someones writings on the subject. Shep is very insightful and his life experiences have molded him to what he has become.
August 14, 2014
4.5 Stars
Shepherd is not just wealthy, he is rich. He is also alone, emotionally closed off, and a Daka–one who helps men find themselves, their inner peace and beauty–through a form of sexual therapy of sorts. In other words, he performs a service, becomes their guide and, in doing so, helps men who have closed themselves off to the intense ecstasy that physical release provides to fully experience it, often for the very first time. But Shepherd never gives of himself fully during those sessions. Instead, he participates to the extent of knowing satisfaction when a man has completed his journey successfully. This is more than just sex, it is a discovery, and it is most fulfilling to Shepherd…until a tragedy sets off a series of events that will alter him forever and open him up in ways ne never knew possible.
The horrific murder of his protégé and friend, Stef, brings a cop named Marco Fidanza into Shepherd’s life. Marco presents a whole new entanglement–someone who wants a commitment, a man who will not be content to allow Shepherd to merely facilitate their relationship. But Shepherd is struggling, not only with Stef’s unsolved murder, but also with a recurring nightmare of his own brutal death by a gang of thugs. What Shepherd uncovers about this dream and his connection to a past life leaves him free for the first time. Free to feel a connectedness that allows him to embrace the idea that despite the danger, he must pursue Stef’s killer even at the potential cost of his own life.
Author Lloyd A. Meeker unveils a carefully woven mystery in his novel, The Companion. However, this is secondary to what is really happening in this story. This is a tale of self-discovery and transformation. Shepherd is really on a life journey throughout most of this novel. He has blocked himself off from understanding how a past life and his own history shaped him into someone who is both fearful and withdrawn. His is in a safe and comfy world where he rarely places his heart on the line. Don’t get me wrong, this is one of the most compassionate characters you may ever read, but he is so careful to never go too far, to open himself to love, to be at one with who he is deep inside.
At this point I should mention that the novel contains a possible trigger for some. There is mention of childhood sexual abuse. However, never in this story did I feel that Shepherd condoned what was done to him, but he had made (via therapy and counseling) a truce of sorts with his past. While he did not love his abuser by any means, he allowed for the possibility that the abuse made him the Daka he is today. In other words, his ability to help others, to guide them, stemmed from his recognition of his past abuse. For me, this made sense, as we are all a composite of those things in our past; they mold and shape us to a certain extent, as they did Shepherd. I felt this topic was skillfully handled and while it did not in any way dominate the story or who Shepherd was, it was an intricate piece to the path of self-discovery and healing Shepherd had to take.
The Companion was such a beautiful story. Amidst the backdrop of a murder mystery was this story of love and healing and, in the end, peaceful acceptance. This novel takes us on one man’s journey of learning to love himself so that he can be free to love another. It is a journey you will not want to miss.
Shepherd is not just wealthy, he is rich. He is also alone, emotionally closed off, and a Daka–one who helps men find themselves, their inner peace and beauty–through a form of sexual therapy of sorts. In other words, he performs a service, becomes their guide and, in doing so, helps men who have closed themselves off to the intense ecstasy that physical release provides to fully experience it, often for the very first time. But Shepherd never gives of himself fully during those sessions. Instead, he participates to the extent of knowing satisfaction when a man has completed his journey successfully. This is more than just sex, it is a discovery, and it is most fulfilling to Shepherd…until a tragedy sets off a series of events that will alter him forever and open him up in ways ne never knew possible.
The horrific murder of his protégé and friend, Stef, brings a cop named Marco Fidanza into Shepherd’s life. Marco presents a whole new entanglement–someone who wants a commitment, a man who will not be content to allow Shepherd to merely facilitate their relationship. But Shepherd is struggling, not only with Stef’s unsolved murder, but also with a recurring nightmare of his own brutal death by a gang of thugs. What Shepherd uncovers about this dream and his connection to a past life leaves him free for the first time. Free to feel a connectedness that allows him to embrace the idea that despite the danger, he must pursue Stef’s killer even at the potential cost of his own life.
Author Lloyd A. Meeker unveils a carefully woven mystery in his novel, The Companion. However, this is secondary to what is really happening in this story. This is a tale of self-discovery and transformation. Shepherd is really on a life journey throughout most of this novel. He has blocked himself off from understanding how a past life and his own history shaped him into someone who is both fearful and withdrawn. His is in a safe and comfy world where he rarely places his heart on the line. Don’t get me wrong, this is one of the most compassionate characters you may ever read, but he is so careful to never go too far, to open himself to love, to be at one with who he is deep inside.
At this point I should mention that the novel contains a possible trigger for some. There is mention of childhood sexual abuse. However, never in this story did I feel that Shepherd condoned what was done to him, but he had made (via therapy and counseling) a truce of sorts with his past. While he did not love his abuser by any means, he allowed for the possibility that the abuse made him the Daka he is today. In other words, his ability to help others, to guide them, stemmed from his recognition of his past abuse. For me, this made sense, as we are all a composite of those things in our past; they mold and shape us to a certain extent, as they did Shepherd. I felt this topic was skillfully handled and while it did not in any way dominate the story or who Shepherd was, it was an intricate piece to the path of self-discovery and healing Shepherd had to take.
The Companion was such a beautiful story. Amidst the backdrop of a murder mystery was this story of love and healing and, in the end, peaceful acceptance. This novel takes us on one man’s journey of learning to love himself so that he can be free to love another. It is a journey you will not want to miss.
August 13, 2014
Aloha. I just bought this book yesterday. I couldn't put it down. It's riveting. Lloyd Meeker is the consummate storyteller.
What a thoroughly engaging story. I didn't want it to end.
Not only are the characters interesting and have depth but the storyline is interesting and captured me.
I really can't say enough good things about this book and writer. I read another of his books a few months ago. And was equally drawn in by the stories and the characters.
This is an extremely emotionally intelligent story. The MCs are very likable and have a natural intelligence along with deep vulnerabilities which are extremely appealing.
Lloyd has a very easy wiring style and great flow to his work. The realness and vulnerabilities with his characters always digs into my soul with his stories.
This is a beautiful love story with a mystery entwined in it. The past life connection is intriguing and poignant. The deep emotions in this had me involved in the story right from the start.
I'd recommend this book to anyone who loves a real and deep love story. Sensuous and intimate with the private thoughts we're able to be part of with the characters.
Can't say enough good things. I'm a firm fan of Lloyd Meeker and hope he writes fast. This completely grabbed me. Thanks so much. I highly recommend this book
Aloha Meg Amor.
What a thoroughly engaging story. I didn't want it to end.
Not only are the characters interesting and have depth but the storyline is interesting and captured me.
I really can't say enough good things about this book and writer. I read another of his books a few months ago. And was equally drawn in by the stories and the characters.
This is an extremely emotionally intelligent story. The MCs are very likable and have a natural intelligence along with deep vulnerabilities which are extremely appealing.
Lloyd has a very easy wiring style and great flow to his work. The realness and vulnerabilities with his characters always digs into my soul with his stories.
This is a beautiful love story with a mystery entwined in it. The past life connection is intriguing and poignant. The deep emotions in this had me involved in the story right from the start.
I'd recommend this book to anyone who loves a real and deep love story. Sensuous and intimate with the private thoughts we're able to be part of with the characters.
Can't say enough good things. I'm a firm fan of Lloyd Meeker and hope he writes fast. This completely grabbed me. Thanks so much. I highly recommend this book
Aloha Meg Amor.
September 11, 2014
As a warning this book contains discussions of past child abuse in one of the main characters. The main plot of this book was very interesting but it was the side plots where this book got a little convoluted. The main plot in this book is Shepard wanting to help in the investigation to find out who murdered his best friend; however one of the side plots deals with the purpose of life and discusses other such existential questions.
While everything was handled in a very clear way, I just did not care for this particular plot twist. The thoughts this book evokes are very interesting and the plot line worked wonderfully to further the growth and development of the main character I just was not a big fan of it.
Overall it is a good, well written m/m romance novel.
While everything was handled in a very clear way, I just did not care for this particular plot twist. The thoughts this book evokes are very interesting and the plot line worked wonderfully to further the growth and development of the main character I just was not a big fan of it.
Overall it is a good, well written m/m romance novel.
September 21, 2014
This was not an easy book to read. It is a story of discovering what is behind the closed-off part of a man who has seen so much horror and channels that into his job as a sex worker, in fact a trainer of others to enjoy sex.
Mr. Meeker has crafted a mystery that takes many twists and turns on the way to resolution. Don't be fooled by the huge amount of sex in this book. It is not a PWP story at all. Through the entire book you are on the journey with Shepherd as he unwillingly finds himself and what his abuser has brought him to be.
An interesting but frightening book. Stay with it to the end as it is a book worth reading.
Mr. Meeker has crafted a mystery that takes many twists and turns on the way to resolution. Don't be fooled by the huge amount of sex in this book. It is not a PWP story at all. Through the entire book you are on the journey with Shepherd as he unwillingly finds himself and what his abuser has brought him to be.
An interesting but frightening book. Stay with it to the end as it is a book worth reading.
November 21, 2014
I have to admit I read this book after seeing it on an another persons "won't read" list. Yes it has a part where a victim talks about being abused but it doesn't go into the type of graphic scenes that some are alluding to in their reviews. Abuse is never easy to read about especially when that abuse is towards a child but that doesn't make a story any less better. It is after all that "a story" ... My first Lloyd A Meeker book and it definitely won't be my last.
May 9, 2016
If I could, I'd give this 10 stars, and, in my humble opinion, the author didn't write about making incest okay, he wrote that the CHARACTER was okay with it, and had moved on. The details were brief and illuminated how the character felt about himself and his journey.
not-in-a-million-years
July 23, 2014Note to self: this has your one hard limit in it. Cannot read!
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