I'm Not Trying To Be Difficult: Stories from the Restaurant Trenches

by Drew Nieporent

Drew Nieporent has been a staple of the New York dining scene for decades, establishing a host of iconic restaurants like Nobu, Tribeca Grill, and Montrachet. But his career started from much more humble beginnings—the grill at the local McDonald’s.

A middle class kid from New York’s East Side, Drew spends his childhood tagging along with his father to help restaurants get their liquor license, igniting a lifelong obsession with food. His passion takes him on a winding, continent-spanning journey, crossing paths with legendary chefs, iconic athletes, and movie stars as he grows into one of the most influential names in the culinary world. From waiting tables on a cruise ship to getting his first three-star review; from squabbling with Cornell professors to partnering with Robert DeNiro; this is more than a story of one man’s extraordinary life—it’s a story of an evolving industry. As culinary trends come and go, and relationships blossom and combust, Nieporent navigates it all with a simple yet powerful give the customer what they want.

Told in Drew’s unforgettable voice, I’m Not Trying To Be Difficult is a rollicking memoir that feels like sitting across the dinner table from someone who has seen it all—one of the last great restaurateurs.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Food, Biography Memoir, Biography, Audiobook, Business

288 pages, Hardcover

Published September 23, 2025

Reviews

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

ARC for review. To be published September 23, 2025.

4.5 stars

This one is definitely for all my fellow readers and friends who love themselves some restaurant/food memoirs. Nieporent wasn’t a name I was familiar with but I certainly know his work as he worked at Tavern on the Green, (back when it was cooler) before he took a huge leap, starting Montrachet (with only 225K!), then Tribeca Grill with Robert DeNiro, Rubicon in San Francisco and, big finish, a little place called Nobu….maybe you’ve heard of it. And that is just to name a few.

So, he always knew, even as a kid, that he wanted to be in the restaurant business (which probably made him a slightly odd kid, but it worked for him.) He’s an incredibly hard worker, not too crazy, and his vice was food, not drugs. This is a must read for those of us who crave restaurant lore. Recommended.

[Jessica Gregory · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a fun read and made you appreciate the different side of restaurants and food. You always get to read about chef’s, food critics, or worldwide food travelers, but never the hospitality portion of it.

[Gina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this memoir! A fascinating dive into the inner workings of the restaurant industry, and how a restaurateur built his career from the ground up. An unbelievable life story - I read it all in one sitting!

[Royal · Rating 3 out of 5]

Those in the know of the culinary world have most likely heard about Nobu. It was interesting to read about the life of Drew Nieporent, who knows the ins and outs of the culinary world as an aspiring restaurateur and not a chef. It’s evident that Nieporent is passionate food and his job.

I think the author did a nice job of outlining the challenges of being a restaurant owner without being a chef and how much thought and planning goes into the hospitality part of the industry that often feels overlooked or invisible. Having acquaintances who own restaurants, I can relate to some of the stories about long hours and being on call all the time while making major business decisions. This is a very candid, insider look at the restaurant business, including all the challenges.

However, my main qualm with this memoir is that it felt like the many conflicts that the author had with his staff and partners didn’t entirely convince me that the author was in the right all the time, although a lot of the blame seemed to be placed on the opposing parties. While it’s possible that the author may be justified, it felt one-sided especially for some individuals who are no longer with us to defend their case. I also felt that there was too much leftover resentment from chefs leaving restaurants, which is honestly, a normal part of any industry if you’re seeking career growth.

Special thanks to Grand Central Publishing and NetGalley for providing an eARC in exchange for an honest, independent review

[Angela · Rating 4 out of 5]

I always love reading about behind the scenes of the restaurant industry. The author has had an amazing life and has had a part in some of the best restaurants in the city.

[Luv2TrvlLuvBks · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rubbing elbows (a.k.a doing business), so to speak, with celebrities and celebrity chefs alike, the life led by this author was like life, epic highs (earning the coveted Michelin 3 stars) to sunken lows (health problems, loss of business).

The reader will be given a front seat to a restaurateur's life with the politics of the front end vs back end staff. The conflicts this author had with partners and chefs were many. At times, wasn't sure if author was trying to garner sympathy from the reader or just taking a matter of fact approach.

This ARC was provided by the publisher, Grand Central Publishing, via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Jaclyn Gruenbaum · Rating 3 out of 5]

as a new yorker and foodie, i enjoyed reading about how so many iconic restaurants were built. however i found nieporent, like many in the restaurant business, extremely arrogant (every failure is so-and-so’s fault, every success is due to my brilliance) which made some of the anecdotes a little tiring. a solid 3 stars.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting story about becoming a restaurateur for the last 50 years! So I really didn’t know much of this story, let alone Drew Nieporent, before picking it up. So I only had the cover and tagline creating my expectations— and they were definitely different. This is not “stories from the restaurant trenches” — it’s just a memoir of a restauranteur. There are very few working as a waiter stories, and it mostly just details his whole career. Once he finally gets into the food business (I found his growing up and background section slow), it gets more interesting. And I was definitely surprised to hear the background of Nobu, so that was an interesting delight. But on general, I found it really interesting to learn the backgrounds of great NYC restaurants, and what creating those entails. I would definitely recommend if you’re into the food scene/restaurants at all, since there’s a lot of mention of famous chefs/food writers.

Also as a side note, I loved mention of Ruth Reichl in her days as the NYT critic. (I spent a fair amount of the first half wondering if she would show up, haha.) If you liked this book, go read her nonfiction! Particularly Garlic and Sapphires, which is probably one of my favorite books about food critique.

Drew Nieporent read his own book, and I’m sorry to say, I did not like it. He read every sentence as if it had to top the last sentence, with more drama and emphasis than was necessary. That also caused a great deal of pausing — I had to speed this up 20% just to get to a normal speed! You get used to it, but this was not my favorite audiobook in the world.

[Makayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a collection of stories from a restauranteur and as anyone who has read other memoirs focusing on the restaurant world: it’s a crazy, ego-driven industry. I always enjoy hearing experiences from inside New York’s food scene, in particular during the 70s-00s and this is no exception as we hear of his business dealings, the chefs he’s admired, and his personal work on himself outside of his restaurants.

I agree with everyone’s sentiment in that he’s a one-sided explanation of certain partnerships and why they fell apart is likely not fully explored on the authors part. There’s more things on his part that likely occurred and he’s not fully out of blame. However, like mentioned earlier, this doesn’t come as a shock as someone who read Medium Raw where Anthony Bourdain literally airs out grievances he has with others with only his pov being explained. That’s the problem with a memoir rather than a catch all observation from a third party, but it doesn’t detract from my enjoyment. Especially given the credit he did give throughout the book to chefs he’s admired and worked with. It didn’t sound like after all these years there’s animosity still brewing under the surface.

It’s a life I will never live, and would suggest this to fans of both Kitchen Confidential and Your Table Is Ready.

— I listened to this as an audiobook, narrated by the author!

[Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun read. I’ve read lots of books by chefs but I’ve never read one written by a restaurateur. The change in perspective is dramatic and fascinating. I enjoyed every minute of this book.

[Lauren Rosburg · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone who works in tangent with the restaurant industry I found this book super interesting! I think even if I didn’t I would still enjoy it.

From the rise and fall of newspaper reviews, to owning a restaurant blocks from the twin towers, to the impact of Covid and working with many celebrity starts this book was so enjoyable!

[Katee · Rating 3 out of 5]

A subgenre of nonfiction that I really love reading about are restaurants. What goes into one? How do the chefs chose the menus that they do? Pretty much all of things in the Restaurant Wars episode of Top Chef. Drew Nieporent was a restaurateur who helped to conceptualize a lot of well known restaurants in NYC, specifically Nobu. Unlike a lot of memoirs that focus on the author's younger life, this one does not and focuses on his younger life as it pertained to his later career. It cuts out a lot of the story that doesn't pertain directly to his later career, something I appreciated.

I do feel like Drew tried to give a "woe is me" outcome to a lot of business relationships that didn't end the way he wanted. The blame seemed to be placed on the other parties and shies away from any part he may have had in it. I really had a problem with that. Yes while all of the business relationships he had may not have come undone due to his actions, there were most likely some that did and it definitely wasn't talked about. I also didn't like the way the chapters ended and led into the next one. It was a formulaic transition such as "well little did I know what would happen next..." kind of ending. The majority of the chapters end in such a fashion, which got really wearing.

Overall I appreciated Drew's candor in telling his story. I don't read much from the restaurateur POV as I have from chefs and they both offer very different things to the eatery experience that shouldn't be undervalued. Rating: 3.5

Thank you to Grand Central Press and Netgalley for a copy in exchange for review consideration.

[Sarah Jensen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book Review: I’m Not Trying To Be Difficult: Stories from the Restaurant Trenches by Drew Nieporent

Overview
Drew Nieporent’s memoir, I’m Not Trying To Be Difficult, offers a compelling insider’s perspective on the high-stakes world of fine dining and restaurant entrepreneurship. As a pivotal figure behind iconic establishments like Nobu, Tribeca Grill, and Montrachet, Nieporent provides a rare glimpse into the logistical, financial, and interpersonal challenges of building a hospitality empire—without ever donning a chef’s coat. The book blends industry wisdom, personal anecdotes, and candid reflections on triumphs and conflicts, making it a valuable resource for aspiring restaurateurs and food-industry enthusiasts alike.

Strengths

-Industry Insight: Nieporent’s expertise shines in his detailed accounts of conceptualizing and scaling globally renowned restaurants. His focus on hospitality—often overshadowed by culinary glamor—is particularly enlightening.
-Candid Storytelling: The memoir doesn’t shy away from the grueling realities of the business, from sleepless nights to fraught partnerships, offering an unvarnished look at resilience.
-Historical Context: The evolution of New York’s dining scene, including collaborations with figures like Robert De Niro, adds rich cultural texture.

Critiques
While Nieporent’s narrative is engaging, some readers may find his portrayal of conflicts with staff and partners overly one-sided. The lingering resentment toward departed colleagues occasionally undermines the book’s reflective potential, leaving questions about accountability unanswered.

How I would describe this book:

- A masterclass in restaurant entrepreneurship from the visionary behind Nobu and Tribeca Grill.
- Nieporent’s memoir is as much about survival as it is about success—a must-read for anyone who’s ever dreamed of opening a restaurant.
- Candid, witty, and packed with hard-earned wisdom—this is the untold story of hospitality’s unsung architect.

Acknowledgments
Thank you to Grand Central Publishing for providing an advance review copy. This memoir is a significant addition to culinary literature, and I appreciate the opportunity to engage with Nieporent’s remarkable journey.

Audience Recommendation
Ideal for fans of restaurant memoirs (Kitchen Confidential enthusiasts, take note), hospitality students, and professionals navigating the intersection of business and passion. While not a flawless narrative, its authenticity and industry acumen make it a standout.

Final Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5)
A compelling, if occasionally uneven, portrait of the man who helped redefine modern dining.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars overall, 5 stars for what it is. It’s a very well done memoir of a restauranteur and I think Drew is an admirable person. It didn’t signifanctly serve my life outside of that, so I don’t necessarily recommend it to others, but I enjoyed it. I like any book that gives me a behind-the-scenes look at a life I’ll never experience myself. And his is an interesting life.
He has many successful New York restaurants to his name, but the only one I’d heard of was Nobu.
I was very impressed by the fact that from a young age he wanted to run restaurants. I don’t think many young children/teens even have that career on their radar (chef? Waiter? Yes, but restauranteur? Probably not).
If you’re going to tell your own story, I appreciate the attempt at being evenhanded and admitting your biases when you’re aware of them. Drew strikes me as a man of integrity. He tries to see others’ side of things and he came across as very fair dealing. From the perspective of a business owner, I appreciated the fact that his commitment to do something well for the sake of the customers, rather than focusing purely on maximizing profits, lead his restaurants to be very successful. It’s a difficult variable to quantify, but I believe diners/customers in general, can tell when a business actually cares about them rather than viewing them as a means to an end. Nobody likes to feel used.
Anyway, please don’t take my 3 stars as an insult in any way. I try to rate objectively for what I think the general reading public would most enjoy/benefit from. But if this book sounds like your cup of tea, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it!

[Victoria Ramirez · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm Not Trying To Be Difficult by Drew Nieporent was such an entertaining read! As someone in the restaurant industry on the FOH side, I knew I would be interested in reading all about the service industry and the struggles that come with it. It was so much fun to read this book and see how Drew grew from the restaurant trenches of a cruise ship, to restaurant owner, to rubbing elbows with Nelson Mandela.

I had no knowledge of Drew Nieporent prior to reading this book. However, I was familiar with a couple of restaurants he established. It was refreshing to hear about his love not only for the food, but for the ambiance and emotion that a restaurant could provide others as well. His love and respect for both FOH and BOH is not something you see often and I truly respect this side of him. He sees a restaurant as a theater and dining as the production in a way that other establishments should try to replicate.

Not only do we get to see the business side of Drew's life but he goes in detail about his personal life, health struggles, and business downfalls due to COVID. He proves that through true grit and passion, anyone can persevere to meet their goals and live their dreams no matter the size of them.

Thank you to Grand Central Publishing for the E-Arc. I loved ending my days reading this memoir!

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm Not Trying to Be Difficult is an irresistible memoir from one of New York’s most iconic restaurateurs, Drew Nieporent. From flipping burgers at McDonald’s to opening legendary spots like Nobu and Tribeca Grill, Drew’s journey is equal parts grit, glamour, and gut instinct. His storytelling is as rich and satisfying as a five-course meal—peppered with behind-the-scenes moments, sharp wit, and heartfelt reflections. Whether he’s navigating tense chef relationships, celebrity partnerships, or the ever-evolving food scene, Drew brings the reader along for every wild, savory step. You feel like you're hearing it straight from him over a long meal—maybe with a glass of wine or two. It’s also really cool to get an insider’s look at the restaurant world and how it’s changed over the decades.

What makes this memoir stand out is not just the star-studded anecdotes, but Drew’s unwavering belief in hospitality: give the customer what they want. A must-read for food lovers, aspiring restaurateurs, and anyone fascinated by the art of building something extraordinary from the ground up.

Many thanks to Edelweiss and Grand Central Publishing for providing me with an eARC of I'm Not Trying To Be Difficult: Stories from the Restaurant Trenches prior to its publication.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir distills a lifetime in the restaurant world into a witty, no-nonsense guide for diners. Known for shaping some of New York’s most iconic dining rooms, the author lays out ten “commandments” that cover everything from making reservations to how to treat servers, order wisely, and understand the invisible choreography happening in the kitchen. The book is packed with behind-the-scenes anecdotes from his decades in the hospitality industry. More than etiquette, the book is really about respect—understanding that dining out is a shared experience between guests and staff, and that everyone has a role in making it memorable.

I love how the author is candid about what frustrates restaurateurs, but also in revealing what delights them. By the end, you'll feel prepared to be a gracious guest and more appreciative of the artistry and hard work that go into every plate. This book is a must-read for anyone who loves restaurants and wants to understand how to make the most of their experience.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://shows.acast.com/moms-dont-hav...

[Allyson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m Not Trying to Be Difficult is an absolute delight. I am by no means a food person but Drew’s sense of humor and larger than life personality makes this one so much fun. He spills ALL the tea & talks a nice amount of shit, two things that every memoir needs!

I also loved spotting a personal connection: my dad is thanked in the acknowledgements, which made reading it feel even more special. They are long time college friends so I was always going to read this book, I just didn’t expect to like it this much. His voice is so authentic and I could hear it on every page.

Recommend if you can’t get enough of the wagyu dumplings from Nobu (guilty) or want to know what it takes to open a successful restaurant.

I will say - this book REALLY needs a better editor! Lots of wrong years and misspellings.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m Not Trying to Be Difficult by Drew Nieporent is an absolute triumph—an engaging, candid, and deeply inspiring look inside the world of high-stakes hospitality from one of its true masters. With warmth, wit, and disarming honesty, Nieporent shares unforgettable stories from decades at the helm of iconic restaurants, offering readers a front-row seat to the passion, precision, and perseverance required to succeed at the highest levels. His voice is both authoritative and approachable, blending behind-the-scenes insights with heartfelt reflections on leadership, resilience, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. Whether you’re a food lover, an aspiring entrepreneur, or simply someone who appreciates a great story well told, this book is a deliciously satisfying and motivating read from start to finish.

[Peter Adamson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lively and interesting read about a subject I know little about; also, surprisingly dishy and a must read for anyone who lived in NYC in the 1990s and 2000s and loves fine dining.

I lived in Tribeca from 2000-2004 so I have some insight(s) into a lot of what Drew discusses here. Who am I kidding? It was Chinatown, not Tribeca, but I spent several evenings in the Tribeca Grill (once, we saw Jerry Seinfeld there, holding court). I have yet to go to NOBU but...soon.

After 9/11, I was also going to as many neighborhood restaurants as I could (I was living at 80 Lafayette Street) as I remember reading in TIME OUT NEW YORK that all those living downtown needed to get out and patronize dining establishments. I went to a new Thai restaurant as a result and the only other people there were Ben and Casey Affleck and someone I did not know. At the time, I was like "hey I guess they read the same article in TIME OUT!"

[Lauren Stroud · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love memoirs, and I love restaurants. I love New York City.

A memoir of a New York City restaurateur? Obvious choice.

Oh, and the audio is read by the author, which I’m always a sucker for.

This one was so good! If you’ve visited NYC in the last 45 years, it’s highly possible that you’ve eaten in a restaurant Drew Nieporent has been associated with. Tavern on the Green, Nobu, Tribeca Grill… true icons of the New York Dining scene. There were also mentions of so many other iconic restaurants I’ve learned about through reading other books; places like La Cote Basque, Le Cirque, the Four Seasons and the restaurants of Jean-Georges.

I loved hearing Drew’s stories, set against the backdrop of a city I absolutely adore. His narratives were fun and entertaining, and his voice resonated with the timbre of a true New Yorker.

I fell in love with NYC during my first visit when I was a senior in high school, and I feel like I’m always dreaming about my next trip back. Is there a city/place you’ve visited that you’d go back to a hundred times more?

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not sure what to rate this book. I thought it started out really strong with a great mix of food related stories and personal memories. After Drew finishes college, all of the personal antidotes drop off and we basically get a who's who of the restaurant scene with his family life very rarely mentioned. To me, that made the book come across as name-dropping and flashy, instead of digging deep for those personal life lessons. I did find all the restaurants stories fun and compelling, but I was missing an emotional tie to the story. I did enjoy the behind-the-scenes look at starting restaurants from an investor and hospitality point-of-view instead of the chef. I also really appreciated the business aspect where he discussed finances of restaurants.

[Michael Asen · Rating 5 out of 5]

It wikl be hard to walk into a great restaurant and not look at it differently after this book. It's also hard fopr me to imagine not loving this guy after redaing this book. From Peter Cooper Village to the heights of the restaurant business. For people whomlive in NY and frequent Nieporent's restaurants with all their glitter and celebrity this will be an amazing look behind the scenes. For the rest of us, we can easily taste what we have missed. Told with just enough humor and self effacement. You will not be sorry you stayed out of this business when you read this. I always new this was a hard business, but this leaves no doubt as to the degree of difficulty of doing it correctly.

[Lloyd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrific biography of Drew Nieporent’s rise to the very top of the NYC restaurant scene and beyond, to SF, London, etc. Dealing with real estate deals, larger-than-life egocentric chefs, recruiting front-of-the-house and back-of the-house top talent, architects, designers and investors - and trying to balance a life at home with his wife and 2 kids, his experience is fascinating for anyone that loves the world of restaurants. Life events such as 9/11, COVID, and personal health, all are re-lived through his words. From Montrachet to Tribeca Grill to Nobu to Rubicon and then back again to Tribeca, his story is a must read. Congrats Drew on an incredibly innovative and successful career.

[Ty · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is interesting to compare this book with the one published recently by Keith McNally, another great restauteur of the last several decades in NY and around the world. McNally was clearly more of a writer, while Nieporent looks to tell a story. Both offer fascinating insights into the rough and tumble world of building restaurants and teams and businesses. Nieporent seems ready to look back at his life and settle some scores. The many anecdotes are amusing and infomative. The man who brought the world Montrachet and Nobu, among many other restaurants, has a lot of wisdom to share. Highly recommended for restaurant fans.

[Dina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love a food world memoir. Drew Nieporent is a famed restauranteur and truly is trying to be difficult. He has a vision for how to build incredible restaurants and he isn't afraid to share his perspective. I enjoyed this insider-y view to the building of hot spots like the Tribeca Grill and Nobu. I would definitely love to grab a drink and meal with him and hear even more of his stories.

3.5 stars but rounding up.

Thank you Netgalley & Grand Central Publishing for the advanced reader copy.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have always been interested in "behind the scenes" and this book certainly is a revealing look at the fine dining restaurant scene mostly in NYC.
I probably will never eat at any of the places noted (unfortunately for me, the TriBeca Grill closed last year - after 30 years). I'm sure I will never eat any of the gourmet dishes mentioned that I could hardly pronounce, but the author certainly has a love for his business and making sure that his businesses were done right.
What I did eat up, was this book. Now, I'm ready for dessert.

[Abena Anim-Somuah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is lowkey an encyclopedia of NYC’s fine dining scene from the late 70s to pre-pandemic times. So inspiring to witness someone live their childhood dream, navigating the ebbs and flows of personalities, economic situations, and dining attitudes.

The one gripe I have with the book and this is something that’s hard to capture but a lot of the beef felt one-sided. It was difficult to know exactly what Drew’s part was in the many severed ties. At the same time, I admired his honesty

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. This is not a criticism, but this felt like an old-school memoir from about 20 years ago (probably because it calls to mind Kitchen Confidential and Ruth Reichl's books). It's very entertaining but it felt like some things were glossed over, like his partnership difficulties and his workaholism. Still, this would be a great airplane/holiday read--it's fast, fun, and interesting.

[Brooke Sanchez · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won the physical copy of this book from Goodreads giveaways. This book is definitely enjoyable if you are in the restaurant business or have love for it. I did enjoy this read because I was a server/bartender/manger for a long time and loved the restaurant lifestyle. I feel like this book could’ve been a tad better if he shared more of his horror or funny stories from work though. I know there was probably a bunch of them lol. Would recommend❤️