What do you think?
Stand Firm and Act Like Men: Becoming the Man You Were Created to Be Instead of Who the World Says You Are
From bestselling author and pastor Joby Martin, a straight-talk, no-nonsense guide to becoming the man God calls you to be.
We’ve all seen the headlines. Masculinity is in crisis. Men are lost. What’s the matter with men? We are confused about what masculinity is and what roles men play in our culture.
Manhood, says Joby Martin, is harder than ever because we have forgotten what true masculinity looks like. Real, Biblical manhood is not about driving big trucks, having the biggest guns, or hunting the biggest buck. (Though he’s a big fan of all of those, truth be told.) True men of God surrender themselves before the cross, serve and lead their families, put on the full armor of God, and stand guard against the lies that threaten to tear our churches and our culture apart.
In this new book, Pastor Joby walks through what the Bible means when it says, ‘be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong, and let all that you do be done in love’ (1 Corinthians 16:13). He guides readers through what scripture says about who men are, how they should act, and what it means to be a man in today’s culture, and he asks tough questions about how God calls men to respond.
Stand Firm and Act Like Men is a call for men to rediscover Biblical manhood in their churches and cities, and to love, serve, and support their families and one another.
We’ve all seen the headlines. Masculinity is in crisis. Men are lost. What’s the matter with men? We are confused about what masculinity is and what roles men play in our culture.
Manhood, says Joby Martin, is harder than ever because we have forgotten what true masculinity looks like. Real, Biblical manhood is not about driving big trucks, having the biggest guns, or hunting the biggest buck. (Though he’s a big fan of all of those, truth be told.) True men of God surrender themselves before the cross, serve and lead their families, put on the full armor of God, and stand guard against the lies that threaten to tear our churches and our culture apart.
In this new book, Pastor Joby walks through what the Bible means when it says, ‘be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong, and let all that you do be done in love’ (1 Corinthians 16:13). He guides readers through what scripture says about who men are, how they should act, and what it means to be a man in today’s culture, and he asks tough questions about how God calls men to respond.
Stand Firm and Act Like Men is a call for men to rediscover Biblical manhood in their churches and cities, and to love, serve, and support their families and one another.
224 pages, Hardcover
Published October 7, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 145 reviews
September 26, 2025
*Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the free copy*
I came in with an open mind and no expectations, but I must say, I was pretty disappointed.
The biggest issue I have with this book is its views that are mostly in bible literalism/inerrancy, whereas I and statistically most people who read the bible understand it to be God-inspired yet is influenced by the cultural, historical, and linguistic context that can have more than one interpretation. I say ‘mostly’ because the author makes clear that he’s aware that the bible is full of metaphors and that he has personal interpretations and conclusions from the text.
Unless the reader agrees that there is only one way of understanding and studying the bible, the book itself will offer little. There’s portions regarding women that come across as patronizing. Instead of focusing on how men should uplift and respect women as *people*, it focuses on reinforcing archetypes that women are ‘made’ to be; An honorable subordinate, or temptress.
When the advice to men is that they shouldn’t even be alone in a room with a woman they’re not married to, the undertone is 1. Any interaction with a woman will conclude in something sexual 2. Men are inevitable perverts unless Jesus stands in the way. As a married man, I find it not only insulting, but also impractical advice to men who are having real issues seeing women as toys instead of human beings.
A lot of Christian men have issues with infidelity, abuse, and hyper-sexualization, and it’s not because they’re praying wrong- It’s because they’re failing to humanize the women in their lives in a setting that often tells them that women, in a way, belong to them.
This is emboldened to me by the fact Matt Chandler was mentioned positively despite the ongoing allegations of employees being fired for whistleblowing on abuse. Men should be held accountable for their baggage and actually be shown the resources to unpack that instead of assuming a verse from Paul’s letter to be all the strength they need.
Mirroring this, there’s little offered to men who don’t fit into the mould of ‘married to a woman, has kids with her’. There’s a blurb in the opening addressing men who may be single/without kids/not hyper-masculine, but outside of a few exercises or bits of advice, the rest is ‘bootstraps’ pep-talk. This book is for a very specific kind of man, and even then I’d hesitate to point them to this book as opposed to other religious books for men.
There is some nuggets of truth and practical pep-talk in the book, but it’s sandwiched between scripture analysis that moves at a glacial pace and comparing trans people existing to the Rwandan genocide (yes, really).
Giving advice that might sound corny is one thing, but needing to put down others with a sense of smugness and contempt is another. I’m sure there are books for Christian men that can empower and guide, but this one isn’t it.
I came in with an open mind and no expectations, but I must say, I was pretty disappointed.
The biggest issue I have with this book is its views that are mostly in bible literalism/inerrancy, whereas I and statistically most people who read the bible understand it to be God-inspired yet is influenced by the cultural, historical, and linguistic context that can have more than one interpretation. I say ‘mostly’ because the author makes clear that he’s aware that the bible is full of metaphors and that he has personal interpretations and conclusions from the text.
Unless the reader agrees that there is only one way of understanding and studying the bible, the book itself will offer little. There’s portions regarding women that come across as patronizing. Instead of focusing on how men should uplift and respect women as *people*, it focuses on reinforcing archetypes that women are ‘made’ to be; An honorable subordinate, or temptress.
When the advice to men is that they shouldn’t even be alone in a room with a woman they’re not married to, the undertone is 1. Any interaction with a woman will conclude in something sexual 2. Men are inevitable perverts unless Jesus stands in the way. As a married man, I find it not only insulting, but also impractical advice to men who are having real issues seeing women as toys instead of human beings.
A lot of Christian men have issues with infidelity, abuse, and hyper-sexualization, and it’s not because they’re praying wrong- It’s because they’re failing to humanize the women in their lives in a setting that often tells them that women, in a way, belong to them.
This is emboldened to me by the fact Matt Chandler was mentioned positively despite the ongoing allegations of employees being fired for whistleblowing on abuse. Men should be held accountable for their baggage and actually be shown the resources to unpack that instead of assuming a verse from Paul’s letter to be all the strength they need.
Mirroring this, there’s little offered to men who don’t fit into the mould of ‘married to a woman, has kids with her’. There’s a blurb in the opening addressing men who may be single/without kids/not hyper-masculine, but outside of a few exercises or bits of advice, the rest is ‘bootstraps’ pep-talk. This book is for a very specific kind of man, and even then I’d hesitate to point them to this book as opposed to other religious books for men.
There is some nuggets of truth and practical pep-talk in the book, but it’s sandwiched between scripture analysis that moves at a glacial pace and comparing trans people existing to the Rwandan genocide (yes, really).
Giving advice that might sound corny is one thing, but needing to put down others with a sense of smugness and contempt is another. I’m sure there are books for Christian men that can empower and guide, but this one isn’t it.
December 13, 2025
This book is… terrible. I forced myself to finish it but it’s such a toxic approach to being a Christian man.
According to this Greg Locke wannabe pastor, if you aren’t physically strong, acting like a real American man, and “humble” in a braggadocios way, you aren’t a real man. He’s the type of pastor that calls men wimps and demeans women, acting like it’s his style of humor.
And his view of scripture and the way he shares it, is just dead wrong. He twists scripture every chapter and his view of the trinity is laughable.
Do not read this book.
According to this Greg Locke wannabe pastor, if you aren’t physically strong, acting like a real American man, and “humble” in a braggadocios way, you aren’t a real man. He’s the type of pastor that calls men wimps and demeans women, acting like it’s his style of humor.
And his view of scripture and the way he shares it, is just dead wrong. He twists scripture every chapter and his view of the trinity is laughable.
Do not read this book.
October 14, 2025
This is not just a book for men. It’s also for if you’re married to a man, hoping to raise a boy into a biblical man, or a single woman wanting to know what she needs to look for in a man to biblically read her. This book is much needed in a world where the church can sometimes pander around the truth to their congregation. Laid out in a casual way you’ll feel like you’re just having a conversation with the pastor himself.
The final notes had me tears falling down my face laughing more than any book ever has.
A genuine must read.
The final notes had me tears falling down my face laughing more than any book ever has.
A genuine must read.
December 31, 2025
Given the increased public awareness of transgenderism and homosexuality, I believe the church in America is wrestling with a question that not many have felt the need to ask before: "What does it mean to be a man?" This is not an objective fact: just a personal observation. Another observation is that people tend to land in one of two extremes: either deny the difference between men and women, or double down on the worst answer you could imagine. While Joby at one point claims to take a middle position, I believe he lands firmly in the latter camp, rubbing shoulders with the likes of Mark Driscoll (not a compliment).
Take, for example, the following line from the introduction to the book: "How in the world did we go from the apostle Paul and William Wallace and John Wayne to what we have now?" (6). I won't quote the following line; you'll have to guess which gaggle of non-believers he picks on. The idolization of John Wayne by Christians is an idea explored in Kristen Kobes Du Mez's Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation, but my personal realization while reading this book is that John Wayne isn't real. The characters he portrayed (and, by extension, the ideals with which he is most strongly associated) are fabrications from Hollywood. The real John Wayne married three times, divorced twice, separated once, a partook in numerous high-profile affairs during these marriage relationships. That's not at all what Joby wants for his readership, but that's the man he puts up on a pedestal. As for William Wallace, Joby brags about having a replica of his sword in his office, so I have reason to believe that Joby's familiarity with the figure begins and ends with the movie Braveheart (1995). After a quick Google search, I've been convinced that this movie is not very accurate. The sword in the movie isn't even accurate. I bring all this up because I think the sword replica is a striking image that perfectly captures what I believe to be Joby's idea of masculinity: a poor fabrication crafted by Hollywood. This is not a middle position on the male-definition spectrum. This is a terrible answer to the question, “What does it mean to be a man?” And the book is at its absolute worst when it embodies this fabrication: it's inconsistent, sexist, arrogant, and overly simplistic.
Inconsistent: Joby hammers home that the absolute inerrancy of the Bible is a non-negotiable, yet he has no problems with lies. The William Wallace and John Wayne that he knows are not real. Church attendance is not 10:1 female-to-male (no clue where he got this statistic). Divorce rates are not at an all-time high (they've been declining since the 80s). The author of the gospel of St. John is not Jesus' brother (not traditionally, that is). I don't think Joby is intentionally or nefariously trying to mislead his audience. I just think he sloppy and lazy in his writing. I also found his stances inconsistent. On one page he’s insulting people who don’t believe in Satan (blaming them), and on another he’s saying they are ensnared (victimizing them). He repeatedly says you don’t need to do “manly” things to be a man while also repeatedly bragging about some of his “manly” attributes. With all due respect, please make up your mind!
Sexist: Joby treats complementarianism as a non-negotiable, and that means gender roles from history are prescriptions for today (and you also shouldn't bother to ask if Leave It to Beaver is a Hollywood facsimile). Joby's call for men to step up and protect women relies on a repeated portrayal of women as helpless and in need saving (sort of like a damsel in distress). Men are defined by their relationship to God, and women are defined by their relationship to men. The cherry on top is on pg. 43, when Joby writes, "And ladies, track with me here. You were created to help. It's just in your nature to help. And believe me, your man needs lots of help." Fun fact: if you take this quote and replace the word "man" with "White people" and "ladies" with "Black people," you get an incredibly racist statement. It also wouldn't be far off from views that were held in earnest in 19th century America (you know, when slavery was ongoing). But I'm sure this disgusting imbalance of power is nowhere to be seen in the original statement on men and women. Instead, Joby assures the readers that designating the role of helper to women (and limiting women to that role) is not at all denigrating. I wish I had more to say, but I really do believe that, aside from the universal charge to be Christian, Joby's only other charge to men is to be protectors and leaders, which comes at the cost of female subordination.
[Side note: for those wondering about the Bible verses calling for female submission, I would like to remind you of the Bible verse that commands slaves to obey their masters (Eph. 6:5). No one I know takes this verse literally. The usual interpretation of this verse includes a highlighting of the differences between slavery in antiquity and the trans-Atlantic slave trade. This is good, I agree with this, but why is this not extended to verses about female submission? Why is there no questioning of how women in antiquity were treated, and what cultural expectations were placed on them? It wasn't until I got to college that I learned that the Israelites were somewhat progressive for not reducing women to property and offering them some protections under Mosaic law. Given this, there might even be a biblical precedent to treat each other with more love and respect that those around us: to be more feminist and more anti-racist that the current culture. Alas! Joby and his ilk leave most verses to literal interpretation.]
Arrogant: Joby admits coming to this realization about himself in the 5th chapter (the book is nearly done at this point), but because he is a sloppy writer, he didn't go back to edit the preceding chapters. He left the two times he brags about having good grades in college, so good that he could go to medical school. He brags about his past as a body builder and his former physique. He brags about having a replica of William Wallace's sword from Braveheart on the wall of his office. At several points he calls people dumb, once for not believing the devil exists (the greatest trick he ever pulled...) and another time for not taking his discipleship advice. He also brags about his "gift" for confrontation, so maybe he doesn't see any of this as a negative.
Overly simplistic: I don't think Joby knows that transgenderism isn't a new concept or phenomenon. I don't think Joby has wrestled with how Klinefelter Syndrome or Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome affect our understanding of manhood. I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all definition for men. We live in time and at certain places, and the communities we find ourselves in have needs that are constantly changing. The world shifts a lot, and we Christians shift with it. With a rooted identity in Christ, I believe we are able to weather the storm and be lights to the lost and the sinking. I suspect, however, that Joby is part of a group of men in the world who choose to root at least a part of their identity elsewhere. When rooting identity in manhood, they devise rigid definitions of masculinity, delineating a clear in-group and a clearer out-group, and reveling in their membership to the in-group. In his own podcast, while commenting on the Rise and Fall of Mars Hill, Joby cautioned his listeners about trusting the interviewees who are not (or are no longer) Christians. For the author of a book about man's responsibility to step up, protect, and serve, it strikes me as odd that these protections are not extended to the victims of Mark Driscoll's sin (Joby goes on to praise Mark in the podcast). I leave it to you, reader, to guess who here is in the in-group, and who is left out.
To avoid being overly simplistic myself, I have to step away from my criticism and offer compliments. While uncommon, Joby would say things I agreed with or found powerful. I particularly agreed with his charge to men to swallow their pride and apologize for things they didn't do. As a marriage and family therapist, I think I can safely say that trying to correct your partner's perception of events does not foster emotional intimacy (read: makes things worse). I wrote the word "Moron" in the margins a few times across the book, but never once did that occur during a passage where he was essentially preaching the gospel. In fact, there's quite a few times when Joby strays from the "man" schtick and preaches a more general message. Those were more palatable and encouraging, but they also strayed from the focus of the book, which I would call sloppy if these sections weren't the only salvageable parts of the book. And that's where I want to end. Joby is clearly a competent preacher, and there is certainly good in this book that can be salvaged. There are principles here that can change your life. The problem is that these are not novel concepts. They are said elsewhere, in places you can find them without sloughing through a mire of sexism and arrogance.
Take, for example, the following line from the introduction to the book: "How in the world did we go from the apostle Paul and William Wallace and John Wayne to what we have now?" (6). I won't quote the following line; you'll have to guess which gaggle of non-believers he picks on. The idolization of John Wayne by Christians is an idea explored in Kristen Kobes Du Mez's Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation, but my personal realization while reading this book is that John Wayne isn't real. The characters he portrayed (and, by extension, the ideals with which he is most strongly associated) are fabrications from Hollywood. The real John Wayne married three times, divorced twice, separated once, a partook in numerous high-profile affairs during these marriage relationships. That's not at all what Joby wants for his readership, but that's the man he puts up on a pedestal. As for William Wallace, Joby brags about having a replica of his sword in his office, so I have reason to believe that Joby's familiarity with the figure begins and ends with the movie Braveheart (1995). After a quick Google search, I've been convinced that this movie is not very accurate. The sword in the movie isn't even accurate. I bring all this up because I think the sword replica is a striking image that perfectly captures what I believe to be Joby's idea of masculinity: a poor fabrication crafted by Hollywood. This is not a middle position on the male-definition spectrum. This is a terrible answer to the question, “What does it mean to be a man?” And the book is at its absolute worst when it embodies this fabrication: it's inconsistent, sexist, arrogant, and overly simplistic.
Inconsistent: Joby hammers home that the absolute inerrancy of the Bible is a non-negotiable, yet he has no problems with lies. The William Wallace and John Wayne that he knows are not real. Church attendance is not 10:1 female-to-male (no clue where he got this statistic). Divorce rates are not at an all-time high (they've been declining since the 80s). The author of the gospel of St. John is not Jesus' brother (not traditionally, that is). I don't think Joby is intentionally or nefariously trying to mislead his audience. I just think he sloppy and lazy in his writing. I also found his stances inconsistent. On one page he’s insulting people who don’t believe in Satan (blaming them), and on another he’s saying they are ensnared (victimizing them). He repeatedly says you don’t need to do “manly” things to be a man while also repeatedly bragging about some of his “manly” attributes. With all due respect, please make up your mind!
Sexist: Joby treats complementarianism as a non-negotiable, and that means gender roles from history are prescriptions for today (and you also shouldn't bother to ask if Leave It to Beaver is a Hollywood facsimile). Joby's call for men to step up and protect women relies on a repeated portrayal of women as helpless and in need saving (sort of like a damsel in distress). Men are defined by their relationship to God, and women are defined by their relationship to men. The cherry on top is on pg. 43, when Joby writes, "And ladies, track with me here. You were created to help. It's just in your nature to help. And believe me, your man needs lots of help." Fun fact: if you take this quote and replace the word "man" with "White people" and "ladies" with "Black people," you get an incredibly racist statement. It also wouldn't be far off from views that were held in earnest in 19th century America (you know, when slavery was ongoing). But I'm sure this disgusting imbalance of power is nowhere to be seen in the original statement on men and women. Instead, Joby assures the readers that designating the role of helper to women (and limiting women to that role) is not at all denigrating. I wish I had more to say, but I really do believe that, aside from the universal charge to be Christian, Joby's only other charge to men is to be protectors and leaders, which comes at the cost of female subordination.
[Side note: for those wondering about the Bible verses calling for female submission, I would like to remind you of the Bible verse that commands slaves to obey their masters (Eph. 6:5). No one I know takes this verse literally. The usual interpretation of this verse includes a highlighting of the differences between slavery in antiquity and the trans-Atlantic slave trade. This is good, I agree with this, but why is this not extended to verses about female submission? Why is there no questioning of how women in antiquity were treated, and what cultural expectations were placed on them? It wasn't until I got to college that I learned that the Israelites were somewhat progressive for not reducing women to property and offering them some protections under Mosaic law. Given this, there might even be a biblical precedent to treat each other with more love and respect that those around us: to be more feminist and more anti-racist that the current culture. Alas! Joby and his ilk leave most verses to literal interpretation.]
Arrogant: Joby admits coming to this realization about himself in the 5th chapter (the book is nearly done at this point), but because he is a sloppy writer, he didn't go back to edit the preceding chapters. He left the two times he brags about having good grades in college, so good that he could go to medical school. He brags about his past as a body builder and his former physique. He brags about having a replica of William Wallace's sword from Braveheart on the wall of his office. At several points he calls people dumb, once for not believing the devil exists (the greatest trick he ever pulled...) and another time for not taking his discipleship advice. He also brags about his "gift" for confrontation, so maybe he doesn't see any of this as a negative.
Overly simplistic: I don't think Joby knows that transgenderism isn't a new concept or phenomenon. I don't think Joby has wrestled with how Klinefelter Syndrome or Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome affect our understanding of manhood. I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all definition for men. We live in time and at certain places, and the communities we find ourselves in have needs that are constantly changing. The world shifts a lot, and we Christians shift with it. With a rooted identity in Christ, I believe we are able to weather the storm and be lights to the lost and the sinking. I suspect, however, that Joby is part of a group of men in the world who choose to root at least a part of their identity elsewhere. When rooting identity in manhood, they devise rigid definitions of masculinity, delineating a clear in-group and a clearer out-group, and reveling in their membership to the in-group. In his own podcast, while commenting on the Rise and Fall of Mars Hill, Joby cautioned his listeners about trusting the interviewees who are not (or are no longer) Christians. For the author of a book about man's responsibility to step up, protect, and serve, it strikes me as odd that these protections are not extended to the victims of Mark Driscoll's sin (Joby goes on to praise Mark in the podcast). I leave it to you, reader, to guess who here is in the in-group, and who is left out.
To avoid being overly simplistic myself, I have to step away from my criticism and offer compliments. While uncommon, Joby would say things I agreed with or found powerful. I particularly agreed with his charge to men to swallow their pride and apologize for things they didn't do. As a marriage and family therapist, I think I can safely say that trying to correct your partner's perception of events does not foster emotional intimacy (read: makes things worse). I wrote the word "Moron" in the margins a few times across the book, but never once did that occur during a passage where he was essentially preaching the gospel. In fact, there's quite a few times when Joby strays from the "man" schtick and preaches a more general message. Those were more palatable and encouraging, but they also strayed from the focus of the book, which I would call sloppy if these sections weren't the only salvageable parts of the book. And that's where I want to end. Joby is clearly a competent preacher, and there is certainly good in this book that can be salvaged. There are principles here that can change your life. The problem is that these are not novel concepts. They are said elsewhere, in places you can find them without sloughing through a mire of sexism and arrogance.
September 18, 2025
Book Review:
Stand Firm and Act Like a Man by Joby Martin
Just finished reading Joby Martin’s powerful book, and I’ve got to say, it’s a must-read for any man serious about living out biblical masculinity in a world that desperately needs it.
Martin doesn’t pull punches. He calls men to stand firm in the faith, lead with courage, and love with conviction. As a Marine veteran, I found his message both convicting and refreshing. It’s not about chest-thumping, it’s about being anchored in Christ, leading with humility, and fighting the good fight for our families, churches, and communities.
Whether you're a young man trying to find your footing or a seasoned leader looking to sharpen your edge, this book will challenge you to rise up and live like the man God designed you to be.
Favorite quote: “Biblical manhood isn’t about being macho, it’s about being meek, submitted, and strong in the Lord.”
Highly recommend this for your next men’s group study or personal devotional time. Let’s raise up a generation of men who stand firm and act like men for the glory of God.
Stand Firm and Act Like a Man by Joby Martin
Just finished reading Joby Martin’s powerful book, and I’ve got to say, it’s a must-read for any man serious about living out biblical masculinity in a world that desperately needs it.
Martin doesn’t pull punches. He calls men to stand firm in the faith, lead with courage, and love with conviction. As a Marine veteran, I found his message both convicting and refreshing. It’s not about chest-thumping, it’s about being anchored in Christ, leading with humility, and fighting the good fight for our families, churches, and communities.
Whether you're a young man trying to find your footing or a seasoned leader looking to sharpen your edge, this book will challenge you to rise up and live like the man God designed you to be.
Favorite quote: “Biblical manhood isn’t about being macho, it’s about being meek, submitted, and strong in the Lord.”
Highly recommend this for your next men’s group study or personal devotional time. Let’s raise up a generation of men who stand firm and act like men for the glory of God.
October 20, 2025
In an age with the hyper feminization of men and on the other extreme you have toxic masculinity, Joby breaks down how he see's scripture break down manhood and why its essentially for a heathy society. He calls out the unhealthy and sinful mindsets that men fall into that ultimately hurt themselves and the women around us.
Honest, convicting, and a clear scriptural analysis gives this a great breakdown on one of the most lost truths of this generation - what does it mean to be a man.
If we can get back what we have lost here, society will heal.
Honest, convicting, and a clear scriptural analysis gives this a great breakdown on one of the most lost truths of this generation - what does it mean to be a man.
If we can get back what we have lost here, society will heal.
October 23, 2025
This book has A LOT of really good Gospel Truth and principles. That part of the book I really liked. However, it felt like the delivery and packaging of these Truths and principles was very poor. What the author claimed to be “boldness” and “directness” bordered on abrasiveness at times. And this is coming from someone (me) who is also very direct! It seems as though the author had very little grace for those who struggle to believe Truth in their hearts and apply the principles he was teaching. His language was often harsh and extreme. It felt like everything that was against what the author was saying was “stupid” or “dumb” or (my personal favorite) “a lie from the pit of Hell.” Now I agree with most, if not all, of what the author wrote, but I felt like he missed Colossians 4:6 - “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” I like Pastor Joby. I’ve listened to his podcast, and I think he is a very good teacher of the Word. This isn’t a bad book. I believe its teachings biblical manhood are great and much needed! I just think it can be discouraging rather than empowering for some who read it
March 7, 2026
Joby speaks to aspects of faith I felt I was alone in
What non romantic love is and what that looks like truly is spoken about at length here, and I can relate to Joby in so many ways on this.
What non romantic love is and what that looks like truly is spoken about at length here, and I can relate to Joby in so many ways on this.
May 1, 2026
At my core, I’m a hick from the sticks and Pastor Joby is a hick from the sticks lol. I resonated so much with the storytelling. Straightforward. Convicting. Actionable in simple terms. Needed for so many men. All rooted in the Gospel and Jesus. Enough said.
February 24, 2026
Good read. Challenges you to think about what it means to be a man from the Bible. Speaks in extremes at times, but I liked it.
May 9, 2026
Great book. You can hear Joby as you read this. Definitely his manifesto and a mix of thoughts targeting mostly the married man, but a very good read. I will revisit this book later in life.
October 10, 2025
Easily the best book on biblical masculinity I’ve ever read. The audible version was fantastic.
October 12, 2025
Wow what a great book! I have heard of Joby Martin, but was unfamiliar with who he really was before this book. I was very attracted to the title of the book as a Christian man and wanted to see what he said. After reading books before with the same topic that were kind of surfacy with no real substance besides a few scriptures and some ideas, I thought this would be not different. I was wrong. Joby does a fantastic job of balancing out God's word with stories, examples, and many suggestions laying out how to live these truths in today's context. He is very honest and transparent with his life challenging the reader with hard truths but in a very gracious way..
The one point I really enjoyed was that "true men of God surrender themselves before the cross, serve and lead their families..." rather than turning manhood into some macho stereotype. That tension - strength rooted in humility, leadership rooted in service- is definitely one of the strongest threads throughout this book.
Nothing major I didn't like about this book. Some of the chapters seemed to run a little long and were repetitive. Also in the book, the author does address women in a few things he says but really doesn't offer anything with the female side of the conversation. This is really minor though and this book is one I will be purchasing and giving out to men I know to encourage them as I was. I also will now go back and read his other books.
Thank you to NetGallery and FaithWords for the advance copy. This review reflects my honest and voluntary opinion.
The one point I really enjoyed was that "true men of God surrender themselves before the cross, serve and lead their families..." rather than turning manhood into some macho stereotype. That tension - strength rooted in humility, leadership rooted in service- is definitely one of the strongest threads throughout this book.
Nothing major I didn't like about this book. Some of the chapters seemed to run a little long and were repetitive. Also in the book, the author does address women in a few things he says but really doesn't offer anything with the female side of the conversation. This is really minor though and this book is one I will be purchasing and giving out to men I know to encourage them as I was. I also will now go back and read his other books.
Thank you to NetGallery and FaithWords for the advance copy. This review reflects my honest and voluntary opinion.
February 24, 2026
I really did not like this book. This book is a protestant christian theology piece to provide insight on the expectations and duties of primarily boys and men. The author is friendly and means well but has a lot of flaws in his theology and his approach. He spends too much time discussing unnecessary details about a story that he implements to discuss the greater subject of a chapter. These stories tend to be self stroking ego trips.
Some of the concerns he addresses are valid partially. His primary ones are accountability and community. He goes into great detail in needing brotherhood, community, and leadership. This is a truth as a result of the protestant reformation and the expansion of “my way” in Christianity. Literally, all of the points he covered are already addressed in the Catholic church. Community and brotherhood are already reinforced in the school system, church, and the Columbus brotherhood/ other ministries. Additionally, he discusses leadership development within one’s self. This is solved when one looks at the active organization of the catholic church.
A huge red flag in this book is during a segment where the author is instructing fathers of a household. He directs the reader to imitate Jesus Christ at a dinner table and recite his words and actions of the Last Supper. THIS IS VERY CONCERNING. Men as fathers are not the sacrificial lamb of God. There is a whole essay alone to express the error of this action that I will save you from.
I pray this review helps you. If you feel this book will solve your life problems I highly encourage you to look up your nearest Catholic/Eastern Orthodox church and pray. Then ask for help from anyone there and they will guide you to the Good Shepherd.
The author opens the books with a very good argument. Most if not all non profits are instituted because man has failed to do what God has commanded us to do. To care for one another. This is probably the one piece I truly believe is worth the book. To save you money and time. I implore people to be charitable and help, from your local pantry to a global charity to the best of your ability.
Some of the concerns he addresses are valid partially. His primary ones are accountability and community. He goes into great detail in needing brotherhood, community, and leadership. This is a truth as a result of the protestant reformation and the expansion of “my way” in Christianity. Literally, all of the points he covered are already addressed in the Catholic church. Community and brotherhood are already reinforced in the school system, church, and the Columbus brotherhood/ other ministries. Additionally, he discusses leadership development within one’s self. This is solved when one looks at the active organization of the catholic church.
A huge red flag in this book is during a segment where the author is instructing fathers of a household. He directs the reader to imitate Jesus Christ at a dinner table and recite his words and actions of the Last Supper. THIS IS VERY CONCERNING. Men as fathers are not the sacrificial lamb of God. There is a whole essay alone to express the error of this action that I will save you from.
I pray this review helps you. If you feel this book will solve your life problems I highly encourage you to look up your nearest Catholic/Eastern Orthodox church and pray. Then ask for help from anyone there and they will guide you to the Good Shepherd.
The author opens the books with a very good argument. Most if not all non profits are instituted because man has failed to do what God has commanded us to do. To care for one another. This is probably the one piece I truly believe is worth the book. To save you money and time. I implore people to be charitable and help, from your local pantry to a global charity to the best of your ability.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 9, 2026
Martin writes the way he preaches, and that's both the appeal and the problem. There's an energy to it, and it reads fast, but the chapters feel loosely organized, like transcribed sermons more than a built argument. He'll start on one point and wander into three others before circling back, if he circles back at all. Good for a Sunday morning, harder to sit with on the page and learn from.
That said, the chapter on love was worth the rest of the book. It's the one place where the structure loosens in a good way instead of a scattered way, and where his conviction actually lands instead of just being loud. It's only about 200 pages, is an easy read, and has a variety of nuggets to glean from. It just wasn't life changing for me.
That said, the chapter on love was worth the rest of the book. It's the one place where the structure loosens in a good way instead of a scattered way, and where his conviction actually lands instead of just being loud. It's only about 200 pages, is an easy read, and has a variety of nuggets to glean from. It just wasn't life changing for me.
December 17, 2025
A good book on manhood. It is heavy on personal story and so is longer than it needs to be, but applies scripture well to manhood and has good challenges and actions for you to do at the end of each chapter.
September 13, 2026
Short review: I gave 3 stars because I agree with the content, but it was a hard read.
Maybe this is this generation's "Wild at Heart", but I was just unimpressed with the originality of the content. Same verses as previous books. Same examples. Same pleas for men. I'm not entirely certain it needed to be written. I also felt it was a bit heavy-handed in telling men they suck at being a man. Are men under attack in our country? Yes. Is there confusion over what a man is? Yes. However, I think there are a lot of great mean in our churches that do a great job of showing what being a man is.
Second, it was very hard to read. It's written as how the author talks. I found myself re-reading many portions trying to make sense of the Southern accent coming through the text (and I live in the South). This may be more of an editing critique.
This may be the perfect book for the thick-headed man who only understands something if it's yelled at him by a high intensity coach.
Maybe this is this generation's "Wild at Heart", but I was just unimpressed with the originality of the content. Same verses as previous books. Same examples. Same pleas for men. I'm not entirely certain it needed to be written. I also felt it was a bit heavy-handed in telling men they suck at being a man. Are men under attack in our country? Yes. Is there confusion over what a man is? Yes. However, I think there are a lot of great mean in our churches that do a great job of showing what being a man is.
Second, it was very hard to read. It's written as how the author talks. I found myself re-reading many portions trying to make sense of the Southern accent coming through the text (and I live in the South). This may be more of an editing critique.
This may be the perfect book for the thick-headed man who only understands something if it's yelled at him by a high intensity coach.
December 7, 2025
This is a book on manhood that every Christian man needs to read. It feels in some gaps that you didn’t know you had. Stand up, act like men, let all you do be done and love. If you heard Joby sermon series on this, you know much of the content of the book, but I would still get the book because you can digest it better than listening to a message.
February 17, 2026
in my opinion a more Scripturally based version of Wild at Heart. pretty solid
March 1, 2026
One of my new favorite books on Biblical Manhood. Balances grace and responsibility really well. And super easy and fun to read!
September 14, 2026
Went through this book over the course of 6 or so months with a group. Highly recommend to do in a group. Practical applications rooted in the Gospel for being a Godly man.
January 11, 2026
Great book. Pastor Joby is definitely a gifted speaker. Greatly appreciated how expositional this book is. As a husband, and soon to be father, I am very grateful I read this. I didn't expect it to be as impactful as it was. Each chapter God illuminated something to me that I really had to sit and pray about. Recommend to anyone.
June 25, 2026
encouraging and convicting!
September 3, 2026
A great book that challenges your views on what being a Christ-centered man really is. Really try to do all the things the author urges you to do at the end of every chapter!
November 13, 2025
Decent book about Biblical manhood, albeit from a very basic popular perspective. Joby is good at explaining technical theological and Biblical concepts in very laymen terms, I can see this book being very effective for new converts or men who aren't avid readers, but a lot of this material is covered better in other books, such as Holiness by J.C Ryle, or Wild at Heart by John Eldredge, the latter of which Joby even admits he pulled from. Eldredge's book is often considered the quintessential biblical manhood book, and I agree, at least as a starting point. A main difference between John Eldredge and Joby's writing is that Eldredge is able to write to the common man without having to resort to pop culture references constantly and use modern slang to help make his points, which is by far the biggest problem of Joby's writing.
I probably won't read this again, but I'm glad I read it. I'm a fan of Joby Martin, even if I think he's a better podcast host/guest than a writer.
I probably won't read this again, but I'm glad I read it. I'm a fan of Joby Martin, even if I think he's a better podcast host/guest than a writer.
January 21, 2026
Disclaimer: I am a member of the church where the author is the lead pastor. Therefore, my review may contain some bias even though I attempted to be as objective as possible.
I would highly recommend this book to any man who wants to become more of what God has called them to become. I would even say this book can be very beneficial to women because there are a lot of general Christian principles, and it can help a woman looking for a godly man to know what to look for, and it can help women who are already in a relationship to appropriately encourage the man in their life to become a more godly man. There are a lot of books out there on masculinity, and this is one of the handful that really gets it right. It is a short book (just under 200 pages), and doesn’t have a lot of “fluff” in it. It really gets to the point of what it means to “act like a man”.
The book has 6 chapters and ends with final thoughts which really wraps the book up and encourages men to go forward with what they have learned from it. Each chapter contains some anecdote that is amusing, engaging and really drives the point he wants to make. Most chapters end with a prayer and a “Doing the Stuff” section to give some practical things for a man to enact what the chapter was saying.
I would say this book only contains a handful of practical things for godly men to do. This book is focused more on the mindset of what it is to be a godly man. So more positional than actionable. Therefore, I would consider this a great intro book to either get you on the right tracks of being a godly man, or help someone who has already been walking with God for a while to realign to what God has called him to be.
As great as this book is, there are a handful of problems that I noticed. The first one I noticed was the statement that the sabbath is meant to help us rest from work. Normally, I wouldn’t make a big deal about a statement like that because there is some truth to it, but the author, in a lot of his sermons and even later in this same book, makes such a point to emphasize that the sabbath isn’t intended to rest “from” work but to rest “to work”. I don’t know if it was an over site by the author or his ghost writer that he uses to write his books, but it is pretty contradictory.
Another issue I noticed was some of his views on singleness in the first chapter, and how he almost completely forgets about single men after that as his writing is focused to married fathers. Joby definitely has bad theology on singleness, and I think even he knows it because most sermons on singleness at the church he pastors are done by guest speakers. In this book he makes the claim that less than 1% of Christian’s are called to singleness. This may be just a hyperbole to make the statement that most people aren’t called to singleness, so I may be overly critical here. The one big thing that he mentions a lot in his sermons and that he mentioned in the first chapter is that, single people are supposed to use all of their free time for the church. I do think he is very wrong with that point. He is referencing 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 with that statement, but what Paul is saying there is that a person can be more devoted to the things of God if he is single versus if they are married. He is not saying that if you are single, you must spend all of your time serving the church. A lot of people,?either called to singleness or a season of singleness, can be overburdened with statements like that, and it is a burden that Joby is putting on them, not God.
Then, after putting the unnecessary burden on single people, he doesn’t directly address them for the rest of the book, and even forgets to include them in certain parts. He didn’t even make it out of the first chapter without forgetting about single people. For instance, the action steps at the end of chapters 1 and 6 are only for married men and fathers. He should have included steps for men in all stages of life if he really wanted this to be a book for all men. A majority of the book is practical for men in all stages of life, so I wouldn’t say to throw the book away if you are single. Just ignore the stuff he says in chapter one on singleness, and try to glean what you can out of the rest of the book.
I don’t want to end this review on the negatives. This is still a must read book. Even if you are not an avid reader, you should take the time to read this book. It is short and to the point, so anyone should be able to finish it in no time.
I would highly recommend this book to any man who wants to become more of what God has called them to become. I would even say this book can be very beneficial to women because there are a lot of general Christian principles, and it can help a woman looking for a godly man to know what to look for, and it can help women who are already in a relationship to appropriately encourage the man in their life to become a more godly man. There are a lot of books out there on masculinity, and this is one of the handful that really gets it right. It is a short book (just under 200 pages), and doesn’t have a lot of “fluff” in it. It really gets to the point of what it means to “act like a man”.
The book has 6 chapters and ends with final thoughts which really wraps the book up and encourages men to go forward with what they have learned from it. Each chapter contains some anecdote that is amusing, engaging and really drives the point he wants to make. Most chapters end with a prayer and a “Doing the Stuff” section to give some practical things for a man to enact what the chapter was saying.
I would say this book only contains a handful of practical things for godly men to do. This book is focused more on the mindset of what it is to be a godly man. So more positional than actionable. Therefore, I would consider this a great intro book to either get you on the right tracks of being a godly man, or help someone who has already been walking with God for a while to realign to what God has called him to be.
As great as this book is, there are a handful of problems that I noticed. The first one I noticed was the statement that the sabbath is meant to help us rest from work. Normally, I wouldn’t make a big deal about a statement like that because there is some truth to it, but the author, in a lot of his sermons and even later in this same book, makes such a point to emphasize that the sabbath isn’t intended to rest “from” work but to rest “to work”. I don’t know if it was an over site by the author or his ghost writer that he uses to write his books, but it is pretty contradictory.
Another issue I noticed was some of his views on singleness in the first chapter, and how he almost completely forgets about single men after that as his writing is focused to married fathers. Joby definitely has bad theology on singleness, and I think even he knows it because most sermons on singleness at the church he pastors are done by guest speakers. In this book he makes the claim that less than 1% of Christian’s are called to singleness. This may be just a hyperbole to make the statement that most people aren’t called to singleness, so I may be overly critical here. The one big thing that he mentions a lot in his sermons and that he mentioned in the first chapter is that, single people are supposed to use all of their free time for the church. I do think he is very wrong with that point. He is referencing 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 with that statement, but what Paul is saying there is that a person can be more devoted to the things of God if he is single versus if they are married. He is not saying that if you are single, you must spend all of your time serving the church. A lot of people,?either called to singleness or a season of singleness, can be overburdened with statements like that, and it is a burden that Joby is putting on them, not God.
Then, after putting the unnecessary burden on single people, he doesn’t directly address them for the rest of the book, and even forgets to include them in certain parts. He didn’t even make it out of the first chapter without forgetting about single people. For instance, the action steps at the end of chapters 1 and 6 are only for married men and fathers. He should have included steps for men in all stages of life if he really wanted this to be a book for all men. A majority of the book is practical for men in all stages of life, so I wouldn’t say to throw the book away if you are single. Just ignore the stuff he says in chapter one on singleness, and try to glean what you can out of the rest of the book.
I don’t want to end this review on the negatives. This is still a must read book. Even if you are not an avid reader, you should take the time to read this book. It is short and to the point, so anyone should be able to finish it in no time.
June 12, 2026
*2.5
Joby Martin’s Stand Firm and Act Like Men is not a useless book. There are good instincts here. Martin knows men are in trouble. He knows passivity is a sin. He knows men need responsibility, brotherhood, courage, and spiritual leadership. He is at his best when he tells men to stop blaming others, take ownership of outcomes, lead their homes, and run toward pain instead of away from it. In a soft age, that is worth saying.
The problem is that Martin keeps walking right up to a serious critique of modern evangelical manhood and then flinching. He sees that men are checked out, that churches are filled with passive males, and that worship culture is often more expressive in ways that appeal to women than men. But his solution is still largely the standard evangelical solution: pray more tenderly, sing louder, open up, be vulnerable, submit, serve, take out the trash, change the diaper, and stop worrying so much about work and money. Some of that is true, but none of it is enough. At points, the book sounds less like a recovery of biblical manhood and more like a men’s retreat on being nice.
This is the real weakness of the book. Men do not merely need to become nicer husbands who help more around the house. They need a mission. They need honor. They need dominion. They need male friendship ordered toward excellence. They need to build, fight, govern, provide, protect, and lead. Biblical masculinity is not just servant-heartedness with a beard and a cigar. It is authority under God. It is strength ordered toward duty. It is household government, public courage, covenantal responsibility, and dominion.
Martin often uses the right words but fills them with the wrong instincts. “Praying with your wife is the most manly thing you’ll ever do” may sound pious, but it is the kind of line that reveals the problem. Prayer is essential, of course, and you should pray with your wife. But the most manly thing a man does is not one private devotional act. If it is, then my own mother is quite manly and masculine. It is taking responsibility before God for what has been placed under his care (in this case, his wife, children, work, property, his people, his duties, etc). The manly life is not reducible to emotional sincerity in a living room.
The book also keeps confusing masculine strength with emotional expressiveness. Martin complains that men do not sing like women in church, then treats loud, visibly emotional singing as the mark of strong worship. But maybe the problem is not that men refuse to worship. Maybe the problem is that modern worship has been trained to expect feminine forms of expression and then scolds men for not responding like women. The same thing happens with vulnerability. Yes, men should confess sin. Yes, men should be honest. Yes, men should receive help. But the modern church has turned “being real” into a sacrament. Men need less pressure to “share their story” and more pressure to become worthy of honor.
So, again, this is not a bad book in every respect. Martin is aiming at real problems, and many men would be better off if they followed some of his basic exhortations. But the book never fully escapes the therapeutic, seeker-sensitive, emotionally expressive evangelical frame that helped create the crisis in the first place. It wants men to stand firm and act like men, but it too often defines that in terms of humility, tenderness, vulnerability, and servant leadership without enough emphasis on rule, conquest, hierarchy, glory, and dominion.
(Gave it an extra half star because many reviewers are reviewing it negatively for the wrong reasons)
Joby Martin’s Stand Firm and Act Like Men is not a useless book. There are good instincts here. Martin knows men are in trouble. He knows passivity is a sin. He knows men need responsibility, brotherhood, courage, and spiritual leadership. He is at his best when he tells men to stop blaming others, take ownership of outcomes, lead their homes, and run toward pain instead of away from it. In a soft age, that is worth saying.
The problem is that Martin keeps walking right up to a serious critique of modern evangelical manhood and then flinching. He sees that men are checked out, that churches are filled with passive males, and that worship culture is often more expressive in ways that appeal to women than men. But his solution is still largely the standard evangelical solution: pray more tenderly, sing louder, open up, be vulnerable, submit, serve, take out the trash, change the diaper, and stop worrying so much about work and money. Some of that is true, but none of it is enough. At points, the book sounds less like a recovery of biblical manhood and more like a men’s retreat on being nice.
This is the real weakness of the book. Men do not merely need to become nicer husbands who help more around the house. They need a mission. They need honor. They need dominion. They need male friendship ordered toward excellence. They need to build, fight, govern, provide, protect, and lead. Biblical masculinity is not just servant-heartedness with a beard and a cigar. It is authority under God. It is strength ordered toward duty. It is household government, public courage, covenantal responsibility, and dominion.
Martin often uses the right words but fills them with the wrong instincts. “Praying with your wife is the most manly thing you’ll ever do” may sound pious, but it is the kind of line that reveals the problem. Prayer is essential, of course, and you should pray with your wife. But the most manly thing a man does is not one private devotional act. If it is, then my own mother is quite manly and masculine. It is taking responsibility before God for what has been placed under his care (in this case, his wife, children, work, property, his people, his duties, etc). The manly life is not reducible to emotional sincerity in a living room.
The book also keeps confusing masculine strength with emotional expressiveness. Martin complains that men do not sing like women in church, then treats loud, visibly emotional singing as the mark of strong worship. But maybe the problem is not that men refuse to worship. Maybe the problem is that modern worship has been trained to expect feminine forms of expression and then scolds men for not responding like women. The same thing happens with vulnerability. Yes, men should confess sin. Yes, men should be honest. Yes, men should receive help. But the modern church has turned “being real” into a sacrament. Men need less pressure to “share their story” and more pressure to become worthy of honor.
So, again, this is not a bad book in every respect. Martin is aiming at real problems, and many men would be better off if they followed some of his basic exhortations. But the book never fully escapes the therapeutic, seeker-sensitive, emotionally expressive evangelical frame that helped create the crisis in the first place. It wants men to stand firm and act like men, but it too often defines that in terms of humility, tenderness, vulnerability, and servant leadership without enough emphasis on rule, conquest, hierarchy, glory, and dominion.
(Gave it an extra half star because many reviewers are reviewing it negatively for the wrong reasons)
January 14, 2026
3.5 but I'll round up to 4. Overall, this is a helpful pump-up/fire-up kind of book for Christian men. I absolutely loved the structure of the book being 1 Corinthians 16:13-14, which says "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love." Each chapter is basically unpacking each of these attributes pointing to being a Godly man. I also loved how Martin ended each chapter with a call to action, with many/most of them being fantastic and very challenging (and much needed!).
Overall, I'd say Martin achieves this goal, and I ended up highlighting quite a few great nuggets, and I'll share my favorites below. My critique of Martin, though, is his writing style and as others have written the arrogance expressed throughout. I'm not sure if this is actually the way he is, or if he wrote this way to make him sound/feel more accessible to men, but I didn't always appreciate it. I also gathered that Martin is a bit of a simpleton (nothing wrong with that, and I sincerely believe you can and will have a wonderful relationship with Jesus), but I myself tend to be a bit more nuanced and deeper thinking as I approach my Biblical studies. God's creation is packed full of mysteries (many of which we'll not know on this side of heaven), and whenever an author takes a very black and white approach stance on essentially all topics and subjects, I lose a tad bit of interest/credibility. To clarify here, I am not at all referring to the major Biblical truths, such as Christ as Lord and that all who believe in him shall not perish, etc. But rather, the language Joby uses throughout as very absolute (all men struggle this way, enjoy these things, etc.; all women are this way and are weak this way, etc.). I just don't see the world as black and white, so I struggled a tad with that.
Here's some great points I got from this book, and I'd seriously recommend this to most men who are wanting a light Christian read that will certainly positively influence them:
- "The problems in your life are not the people in your life. They are not your enemy. Your problem is not your boss. Your problem is not your kids. Your problem is not a politician. And it's not your wife. You and I battle not against the flesh-and-blood people in our lives but against spiritual forces."
- "In John 14:6, Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." You want to know how to fasten the belt of truth in your house? Point everybody and thing to Jesus."
- "Ephesians 6:17 continues, "And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." I cannot communicate this enough. Dads, men, it is your job to teach the Word of God to your entire family, and you cannot teach what you do not know. When Jesus was attacked by the enemy, He replied the same way, It is written, it is written, it is written. Meaning, you've got to know the Word and how and when to speak it into your family's life."
- "Galatians 4:7 says: "So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God." Here's what this means, and it's very technical, so listen up-what Jesus does from the cross to the resurrection, legally, actually, and objectively adopts you into God's family. But God wants more than that, so He sends the Spirit of God to live inside of you so that you may emotionally and relationally experience the reality of what Jesus legally and actually did for you. So that we wouldn't have an orphan mentality, but a sonship mentality." So good!
Overall, I'd say Martin achieves this goal, and I ended up highlighting quite a few great nuggets, and I'll share my favorites below. My critique of Martin, though, is his writing style and as others have written the arrogance expressed throughout. I'm not sure if this is actually the way he is, or if he wrote this way to make him sound/feel more accessible to men, but I didn't always appreciate it. I also gathered that Martin is a bit of a simpleton (nothing wrong with that, and I sincerely believe you can and will have a wonderful relationship with Jesus), but I myself tend to be a bit more nuanced and deeper thinking as I approach my Biblical studies. God's creation is packed full of mysteries (many of which we'll not know on this side of heaven), and whenever an author takes a very black and white approach stance on essentially all topics and subjects, I lose a tad bit of interest/credibility. To clarify here, I am not at all referring to the major Biblical truths, such as Christ as Lord and that all who believe in him shall not perish, etc. But rather, the language Joby uses throughout as very absolute (all men struggle this way, enjoy these things, etc.; all women are this way and are weak this way, etc.). I just don't see the world as black and white, so I struggled a tad with that.
Here's some great points I got from this book, and I'd seriously recommend this to most men who are wanting a light Christian read that will certainly positively influence them:
- "The problems in your life are not the people in your life. They are not your enemy. Your problem is not your boss. Your problem is not your kids. Your problem is not a politician. And it's not your wife. You and I battle not against the flesh-and-blood people in our lives but against spiritual forces."
- "In John 14:6, Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." You want to know how to fasten the belt of truth in your house? Point everybody and thing to Jesus."
- "Ephesians 6:17 continues, "And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." I cannot communicate this enough. Dads, men, it is your job to teach the Word of God to your entire family, and you cannot teach what you do not know. When Jesus was attacked by the enemy, He replied the same way, It is written, it is written, it is written. Meaning, you've got to know the Word and how and when to speak it into your family's life."
- "Galatians 4:7 says: "So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God." Here's what this means, and it's very technical, so listen up-what Jesus does from the cross to the resurrection, legally, actually, and objectively adopts you into God's family. But God wants more than that, so He sends the Spirit of God to live inside of you so that you may emotionally and relationally experience the reality of what Jesus legally and actually did for you. So that we wouldn't have an orphan mentality, but a sonship mentality." So good!
June 30, 2026
Quick summary: I would not recommend this book. It’s not all bad but I find it more problematic than helpful.
This book suffers from the same problem most books on manhood suffer from: it doesn’t have a good biblical foundation for what manhood is. It attempts to say that a man is someone who bows to Jesus Christ and then continues in saying that he follows Christ. Great, that’s fine. But it’s also what a biblical woman is. It is also an arbitrary decision to decide this to be core of being a man. Scripture doesn’t say any of these things specifically about men as opposed to women.
Next, this book is packaged as a sort of biblical guide to manhood, but Joby throws in a ton of advice that is fine and may be helpful but is notably not biblical. For example, something like “boys choose situations where they can control the outcome, men risk failure.” This may be a helpful idea for someone, but it is NOT a biblical idea. He doesn’t distinguish what is biblical and what is opinion. He also says things like Adam’s problem was that he listened to Eve’s mouth and not her heart. This is not at all what the biblical story is trying to say, but Joby comes back to it repeatedly concerning marital relationships.
Now, there is some good here. He does call out that we get manhood wrong when we make it about bravado, guns, and violence. He rightly says that you shouldn’t have to be more (culturally) like a woman to be in church. He points out that Jesus upends the power structure that was in place. He says men need close friends they can be vulnerable with. That’s all great. I think Joby’s direct manner may be helpful for someone guys. But I also think his views are incomplete and at times foolish if not dangerous.
There are a lot of weird uses of scripture that I won’t take time to explain but suffice to say it’s very proof texty. It also carries a victim mentality throughout the book that says the world doesn’t want you to be a real man. He also does the typical “never be alone with a woman who isn’t your wife” thing.
What’s really weird about the scripture thing is he takes a stand on scripture as if he’s super serious about it, but then goes and proof texts like crazy. He also emphasizes very basic/literal understandings of scripture and seems to imply any liberal theology cannot lead to saving faith. He endorses the ESV translation, explicitly saying it doesn’t “hijack the meaning” of scripture and “translators haven’t put their spin on what it says” and they try to be faithful to the word of god and what it says — as if other translations don’t. This is a hilarious thing to say about a translation that was blatantly made by a reformed company to combat more liberal theology. I think the ESV is fine, but these kinds of statements are not helpful for making Godly men. A grown man should be able to acknowledge nuances in how we understand scripture.
This book suffers from the same problem most books on manhood suffer from: it doesn’t have a good biblical foundation for what manhood is. It attempts to say that a man is someone who bows to Jesus Christ and then continues in saying that he follows Christ. Great, that’s fine. But it’s also what a biblical woman is. It is also an arbitrary decision to decide this to be core of being a man. Scripture doesn’t say any of these things specifically about men as opposed to women.
Next, this book is packaged as a sort of biblical guide to manhood, but Joby throws in a ton of advice that is fine and may be helpful but is notably not biblical. For example, something like “boys choose situations where they can control the outcome, men risk failure.” This may be a helpful idea for someone, but it is NOT a biblical idea. He doesn’t distinguish what is biblical and what is opinion. He also says things like Adam’s problem was that he listened to Eve’s mouth and not her heart. This is not at all what the biblical story is trying to say, but Joby comes back to it repeatedly concerning marital relationships.
Now, there is some good here. He does call out that we get manhood wrong when we make it about bravado, guns, and violence. He rightly says that you shouldn’t have to be more (culturally) like a woman to be in church. He points out that Jesus upends the power structure that was in place. He says men need close friends they can be vulnerable with. That’s all great. I think Joby’s direct manner may be helpful for someone guys. But I also think his views are incomplete and at times foolish if not dangerous.
There are a lot of weird uses of scripture that I won’t take time to explain but suffice to say it’s very proof texty. It also carries a victim mentality throughout the book that says the world doesn’t want you to be a real man. He also does the typical “never be alone with a woman who isn’t your wife” thing.
What’s really weird about the scripture thing is he takes a stand on scripture as if he’s super serious about it, but then goes and proof texts like crazy. He also emphasizes very basic/literal understandings of scripture and seems to imply any liberal theology cannot lead to saving faith. He endorses the ESV translation, explicitly saying it doesn’t “hijack the meaning” of scripture and “translators haven’t put their spin on what it says” and they try to be faithful to the word of god and what it says — as if other translations don’t. This is a hilarious thing to say about a translation that was blatantly made by a reformed company to combat more liberal theology. I think the ESV is fine, but these kinds of statements are not helpful for making Godly men. A grown man should be able to acknowledge nuances in how we understand scripture.
December 10, 2025
I really enjoyed this book. In fact, it is perhaps one of numerous books that I would recommend that every man read. Certainly, there are elements that one might disagree with (at least I did) but the overall challenge of the book for men is excellent. Using I Corinthians 16:13-14 as the foundation, Martin unpacks the command in a very straightforward, practical way. So straightforward that some might find it hard to handle. In a world where manhood has been under attack for decades, where much confusion exists about manhood, the author offers a very clear delineation of a challenge for all men who want to be God's kind of man. He begins with the question: "Where have all the good men gone?" It's a legitimate question for sure. Martin is simply setting the stage by showing that our society has a fundamental problem and the problem has now entered the church. He then moves into defining what is a man, followed by chapters that address being watchful, standing firm, being strong, and being loving. He ends with a challenge to men to stand firm and act like a man. His closing thoughts triggered a literal lol from me (sorry coffee shop patrons as you heard me laugh out loud). I didn't laugh because I thought his point was ridiculous but because his story was hilarious as he came to a concluding thought. There were so many strengths in the book. I appreciated his own confession of how he often comes up short in regards to the many points that he exhorts us men to put into place.
One of the weaknesses is early on and I found it most unfortunate that he had to bring into this excellent book, his enjoyment for alcohol (No, I don't think it is wrong for every believer to enjoy a social drink). When I read it, I thought, "Dude, you don't have to list that to sell this book. We counsel people/believers all the time whose lives are wrecked by alcohol. Enjoy it if you so choose. I'm just not sure it is helpful for you as a pastor to bring that out." Others might find the weakness in his straightforwardness but it is reasonable to me that in a world of confusion about manhood and in a church that is often feminized, a blunt treatment of Biblical manhood is just what the doctor ordered.
I highly recommend this book to you.
One of the weaknesses is early on and I found it most unfortunate that he had to bring into this excellent book, his enjoyment for alcohol (No, I don't think it is wrong for every believer to enjoy a social drink). When I read it, I thought, "Dude, you don't have to list that to sell this book. We counsel people/believers all the time whose lives are wrecked by alcohol. Enjoy it if you so choose. I'm just not sure it is helpful for you as a pastor to bring that out." Others might find the weakness in his straightforwardness but it is reasonable to me that in a world of confusion about manhood and in a church that is often feminized, a blunt treatment of Biblical manhood is just what the doctor ordered.
I highly recommend this book to you.
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