All the Little Monsters: How I Learned to Live with Anxiety

by David Alexander Robertson, Shelagh Rogers (narrator), HarperCollins Publishers Ltd. (publisher)

With humour, warmth and heartbreaking honesty, award-winning author David A. Robertson explores the struggles and small victories of living with chronic anxiety and depression, and shares his hard-earned wisdom in the hope of making other people’s mental health journeys a little less lonely

From the outside, David A. Robertson looks as if he has it all together—a loving family, a successful career as an author, and a platform to promote Indigenous perspectives, cultures and concerns. But what we see on the outside rarely reveals what is happening inside. Robertson lives with “little monsters”: chronic, debilitating health anxiety and panic attacks accompanied, at times, by depression. During the worst periods, he finds getting out of bed to walk down the hall an insurmountable task. During the better times, he wrestles with the compulsion to scan his body for that sure sign of a dire health crisis.

In All the Little Monsters, Robertson reveals what it’s like to live inside his mind and his body and describes the toll his mental health challenges have taken on him and his family, and how he has learned to put one foot in front of the other as well as to get back up when he stumbles. He also writes about the tools that have helped him carry on, including community, therapy, medication and the simple question he asks himself on what if everything will be okay?

In candidly sharing his personal story and showing that he can be well even if he can’t be “cured,” Robertson hopes to help others on their own mental health journeys.

Genres: Nonfiction, Canada, Memoir, Mental Health, Self Help, Indigenous, Audiobook

Audible Audio

First published January 21, 2025

About the author

DAVID A. ROBERTSON is a two-time winner of the Governor General's Literary Award, has won the TD Canadian Children’s Literature Award, as well as the Writer's Union of Canada Freedom to Read award. He has received several other accolades for his work as a writer for children and adults, podcaster, public speaker, and social advocate. He was honoured with a Doctor of Letters by the University of Manitoba for outstanding contributions in the arts and distinguished achievements in 2023. He is a member of Norway House Cree Nation and lives in Winnipeg.

Reviews

[JR]

This is a candid look into the life of David, A Robertson an Indigenous author, and his journey with anxiety. A good look into what anxiety can do to your brain as well as your body as David fights with both constantly, this isn’t really a book about how to get rid of your anxiety, but how to live with it. This is of course, David’s journey and everyone is different.

Having lived with and continue to live with anxiety, I’ve read a lot of these books in the last few years, and even during my worst times I feel like I was never as bad as David with his not being able to get out of bed or constantly scanning my body all day, so I found myself comparing my experience and just can’t connect to the material. A lot of things seem to be like a copout to me. Because I didn’t experience the same things on my own journey.

Overall, I enjoyed a local author, sharing what he went through, while not holding him back.

Special shout out to the Brandon Walmart Photo Lab
4⭐️

[Stacey Bradley · Rating 5 out of 5]

To start, I have to say how much I love the cover of this book! I also love the title and the comparison of anxiety to the little monsters who have invaded daily life for David. I stepped into this book expecting to learn about anxiety and it's impacts, but I wasn't prepared for how personal the story would be. I am in awe of the bravery shown by David as he so openly shared not only his experience with anxiety and depression, but also how it has impacted his family.

For those of us who try to understand but just don't know, this gives us a glimpse into how difficult it can be to fight the little monsters all day, every day. For those of us who have loved ones who struggle with anxiety, depression or other mental health struggles, although we want to help, empathize and understand, it is hard to feel what you have not experienced. David's story allows us to enter the discomfort if just for a little while.

For those readers who are looking for a community, I believe this book may be the bridge. Thank you David for openly sharing your struggles, my hope is that this will encourage more discussion so that we will continue to talk, share, and support.

Thank you to Harper Collins Canada and NetGalley for the advance copy.

[theliterateleprechaun · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous book and event last night!

⭐ Review to be posted soon! ⭐

[Rachelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an accessible memoir about dealing with anxiety in all forms. As someone who also has had past heart problems along with a remaining benign arrhythmia, I could relate to some of what he has gone through and the ensuing health anxiety. I have never heard anyone else talk about it and how they also have to carefully avoid caffeine and alcohol.

On the off chance he reads his reviews, I encourage him to exercise anyway. It has been one of the best things for me mentally and physically. My heart didn’t like hitting my max (near 200 bpm) after two races this year, which was new and something I should address with my doctor but don’t because nothing ever comes of it (as he mentions in the book), but otherwise, I raise my heart rate regularly with only positive results. I get way more symptoms when I am overworked, stressed, and not exercising.

I didn’t have too many takeaways because I have quite a few tools in my anxiety toolbox already, but it was one of the most relatable and readable books on the subject. I easily recommend it if you have anxiety or even imposter syndrome, as he addresses that nicely.

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good!!

[Charlene Carr · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's hard to know what to say, as I could say so much, so I'll keep it simple: this was a beautiful and vulnerable memoir that has the potential of helping so many people, and that helped me. I highly recommend it!

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a moving and raw, emotionally charged memoir about the author's experience losing his father, his grief, anxieties, depression and work trying to manage all of the above during a pandemic, promoting his books and going through an estrangement with his daughter. Told in a very relatable manner, this was a beautifully honest book that was also great on audio read by the author himself. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early digital copy in exchange for my honest review!

CW: suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety

[Olivier · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's the first time I've taken the time to write a review, but I felt I needed to. This book is amazing. As a huge health worrier, I now feel that I am not alone. Dealing with anxiety, specifically health anxiety, is tough. But knowing that a great author like David A. Robertson also struggles with mental health gives me hope for the future.
Thank you David. I hope I'll get to meet you someday !

[Sarah Butland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading a memoir of a stranger is one thing, witnessing transformation of a person on the page is something else entirely. David brilliantly confesses to his personal and family struggles in a way that connects, compels and clarifies while avoiding preaching, patronizing and politicizing.

He speaks of his fears while facing them, of his troubles while challenging them and offers solutions for those who can relate. From beginning to end, this story captured so much beautiful essence and trials I was wrapped within every word.

[Jacob · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir meant a lot to me both as someone who has experienced generalized anxiety my whole life, and as the spouse of someone who experiences significant health anxiety and compulsions.

It was validating and also instructive (vis a vis my wife's experience) to see so clearly represented what anxiety - especially health anxiety and OCD - can feel like, on a physical level, and how it is experienced cognitively and emotionally.

I appreciated the clear organization and writing of the book. It was easy to understand and follow Robertson's journey. He says he tries to write like you're sitting face to face with him telling you a story, and it really does feel like that.

It is remarkable that although Robertson has struggled so much, he has been able to have such a successful career as a public servant and author, as well as being a husband and father of five. It's a good reminder that you never know what someone might be working through just below the surface. On the outside, Robertson may seem to have it together, but he transparently shares that because of anxiety, he is still working on what may seem like simple goals to someone without his anxieties: taking the stairs, being able to go for a walk/get exercize; deviating from his specific meal schedule; getting a full nights sleep; experiencing any new bodily sensation without googling it as a symptom; going on vacation with his family.

Through sharing these struggles, he made me feel better about my own and those of people I love.

[Maggie (Magsisreadingagain) · Rating 5 out of 5]

David A. Robertson is one of my favorite Canadian, and Manitoban, authors. He is a prolific writer, and with this new memoir, he has gone behind his own scenes, and laid bare the truth of the anxiety and depression that have accompanied his life since childhood. He details the moments he has been crippled by panic attacks and the physical manifestations of his anxiety, discussing openly how it has affected his daily life and that of his family. He discusses the steps he has taken, and those he has not pursued, to find a healthier way forward.

Working in the field of mental health, I have seen how anxiety affects many people, manifesting in numerous forms, with presentation as individual as the client I am working with. Robertson emphasizes this throughout the book. He is sharing his journey, his struggles, his milestones. And yet, his writing style makes this topic approachable for anyone experiencing anxiety, or wanting to know more about its effects on people. I can’t think of a better book to help destigmatize mental health, and open up larger conversations.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Harper Collin’s Canada for providing me with a free ARC in exchange for my honest thoughts. I highly recommend this beautiful book.

[Matt Watts · Rating 5 out of 5]

David A. Robertson opens himself up, exposing his mental health struggles to the world in a book that perfectly relays the thought process of a person suffering with severe anxiety. Heartfelt and harrowing. If you're anxious, you'll feel seen. If you're not anxious, you should gain insight and understanding. Beautiful work.

[Kerri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Touched my heart and quieted my little monsters as I read.

[Matt Valcourt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you David Robertson for sharing your story. Like you, I also share the struggles of anxiety, depression and panic disorder. Your writing hit home on many levels. We share a magnitude of similarities and I found this comforting. I feel as if you have been able to build a collective community in the story of your mental health journey, something I hope to reciprocate.

In your words: I got this. We got this.

[❀ Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kudos to David Alexander Robertson for sharing his own history with anxiety and depression. He has shared his own challenges, the impacts on his family, his grief at the loss of his dad with a frank, openness that will help others to recognize their own challenges or support others.

I have enjoyed his middle grade Misewa series and did not have any idea of the mental health challenges he has dealt with.

This book has given me a deeper understanding of supporting others to deal with their anxiety and I appreciate his honesty. Here are a few important bits to note:

"there's a saying. Ninety-nine percent of things you worry about never happen"
"worry never stops anything from happening"
"the goal isn't to traumatize; it is to empower"
"every day, we're faced with several choices when it comes to mental health issues. We face something, or we run from it".
"the more you listen to anxiety, or any mental health challenge, the bigger it gets, the more it weights you down"

[Gabriele Goldstone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Watching someone close to me struggle with anxiety has been difficult. Reading this memoir gave me a better understanding of how to support them. Robertson’s authenticity took courage and reminds me of why reading is such a powerful tool for healing. We need more honesty, more real. And more good music!

Is it the long, cold winters? Winnipeg is home to some wonderful creators!

[Janet Hutchinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

It takes courage to write about the demons that plague you, and the anxiety, depression, and general mental health issues that form your life. Robertson writes openly about his mental health, his attempts to deal with the various symptoms and anxieties, and the impact on his writing career. A raw and honest read, at times difficult, but it’s time that mental health is openly acknowledged as a crisis, and I applaud Robertson's courage in writing this.

[Christine Heinen · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5 ⭐️
a raw, emotional, moving story of anxiety and what it can do to the brain. i found myself captivated from the jump and am proud of him for sharing his story with the world. recommend checking out this beautiful indigenous author!

side note… just within the prologue he mentioned: he’s from winnipeg, mentioned hospital i was born in. now i calgary. mentioned nenshi. has family members that had als. sitting here questioning… do i know this man?!? are we related lol it sure made me feel an unexpected connection to him :)

[Enid Wray · Rating 5 out of 5]

As always where David Robertson is concerned I say “Thank You” for the gifts you (always) give us.
Notwithstanding that David himself states that “(t)here are no fancy words here. This is not literary…” (p246) there is a literary aspect to this in both the structure and the content.

His message of “It’s OK to not be OK” - while ever so trite but also so true - will resonate with so many.

And let’s face it - he totally nails it wrt the lived experience, with a no holds barred honesty that is refreshing… especially when he talks about all of the times that he has ‘masked’ his anxiety.

As he himself also states, his goal is to empower, not to traumatise… and I think he does that in spades.

Highly recommended.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for granting me access to an early digital review copy.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Canadian David Robertson in a two time Governor General Literary award winner. He has won numerous other literary awards and has written many books. He is Indigenous (Cree). Already a voice for Indigenous peoples, David, in this latest book, has become a voice for awareness of mental illness. He has suffered for most of his life with anxiety and depression, and has been so debilitated with it at times that he was not able to leave his bed. All the little monsters, scurrying around in his head, making his heart beat too fast, making him believe that if he did something like just go to the store, he might die. I think it takes a lot of courage to share something like this, and because he has done it, it has made it easier for others to acknowledge it as well.

Foreward is by Shelagh Rogers, who is also Indigenous (I didn't know this) and has also had terrible battles with her mental health. (I didn't know this either)

Kudos to the author for accomplishing so much while battling almost insurmountable illness. And bravo to his family and friends for being there always. Not everyone is that lucky.

[Marg Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I sent David a message on social media thanking him for his writing he immediately responded. Usually when authors say things like “I am here for you” they are playing to your need for connection in words only. When David says that he is there for you, he really means it! That is the kind of author and PERSON that he is!

I have read a few of his books (Theory of Crows is my absolute favourite!) and going into this book I had no idea what to expect. I picked it up as I was curious what he could say that I didn’t already know since I was going into it with the experience of a care giver. As someone who has grown up with mental illness in their family, I expected a clinical book with the occasional personal anecdote thrown in. But what I got instead was a deeply personal writing of one persons continued journey with the “little monster” on his shoulder that constantly attempts to take over his daily life. I appreciated his descriptions of anxiety and the way it affected him and saw a lot of ourselves in them. When he describes places where he was when he was going through his attacks it made it all the more real, as we are from Winnipeg ourselves.

For those reading this book out of curiosity as to how people with anxiety actually “tick” this will open your eyes. But for those who open it as care givers and people who also deal with their monsters, David gives you the support and encouragement to keep putting one foot in front of the other - one day at a time.

Thank you again David for sharing your story.

[Alana Sullivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I happened to cross paths with All the Little Monsters in the book section at Homesense and it immediately caught my attention. As someone who was born and raised in Manitoba like David — finding his book on the shelf felt like an unexpected but comforting connection, especially after moving away seven years ago.

One passage that particularly resonated with me was on page 242, where David writes:

“The final level, in terms of bodily symptoms, is to be able to reach a state of mindfulness where I can serve what’s going on in my body, dispassionately and non-judgmentally and act accordingly without the interference of panic or unreasonable worry.”

This insight, among many others in the book, struck a chord. I’ve read similar passages in books and for many reasons, David’s hit differently. The way he explores anxiety, trauma and healing is both deeply personal and relatable. His storytelling is raw, reflective and layered with emotion, making this book a powerful read.

I’m grateful I stumbled across this gem. It’s one of those books that finds you at just the right time. Thank you, David.

[Kayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

So I must say, I found this book on a whim at the library when I was just poking around. When I saw the title, I was intrigued because I too, am anxiety…
It seemed interesting, but I put it down and kept looking.
I Couldn’t stop thinking about it though and picked it back up. Went to go check it out at the desk & sat at the table to start reading.

It felt like a sign because this man was explaining his experience doing wordfest and other writing events in not only the same city I’m in, but the same LIBRARY at that moment. Talking about not loving those same stairs I just walked up 10 minutes prior.

Anyways I loved this book: I related to a lot of what he talks about surrounding his health anxiety,
Panic attacks, spiraling thoughts, and fear of dying. Amongst other things. If you are a fellow anxiety human, I’d give this a read.

[Jaklyn Heath]

*No rating as I feel weird about rating memoirs.*

Thank you to HarperCollins Canada and NetGalley for my digital advance readers copy in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone.

All the Little Monsters is an incredibly vulnerable and honest memoir of David A. Robertson. He infuses humour while exploring and explaining his struggles living with anxiety and depression. His words give hope and a sense of community and belonging to those on similar mental health journeys and I really connected to a lot of what he shared in very personal ways.

David A. Robertson is a favourite author of mine from reading his Misewa saga middle grade novels for myself, but also with my grade 5 and 6 classes. I didn't know that he had mental health struggles, so when I saw he had a new book coming out, I immediately wanted to get my hands on it, without knowing the contents. I really loved how candid he was within this book. I learned a lot more about him as a person behind the novels he writes while also connecting and reflecting on my own anxieties while reading about his own experiences. The brutal honesty of the toll that his anxiety and depression have taken not only on himself, but on his family was very much appreciated. I honestly didn't know that I needed this book as much as I did.

I especially loved the analogy of "little monsters" being the voices inside your head when you are anxious and depressed and how those monsters can really have a loud voice at times. I connected very strongly to this analogy and will be taking it with me going forward. The question that David A. Robertson asks "what if everything will be okay?' is another strategy that I will be moving forward with too. It was a really healing thought for me to contemplate with my own anxiety.

While this was a very different book than the Misewa series books, it was the perfect book at the perfect time in my life and I am very grateful to have had the opportunity to read it and learn from it. I have so much more respect for Robertson knowing a bit more about his personal life and his struggles and I feel even more connected to his work. This was a book I didn’t know I needed. It is profound and insightful and raw and honest and has so much heart. I have such a deep appreciation for the vulnerability that Robertson shows in this memoir. I also just feel incredibly seen within my own anxiety and mental health struggles.

[Kelly (The Happiest Little Book Club)]

Let me preface this review by saying that it pains me that I don't "rate" memoirs because I would give this book ALL of the stars and then some. I guess this is pretty much me giving it 5 stars. Ha! ;)

I was lucky enough to get this book on audio and I was thrilled that David narrated it. He said at the end that he wanted this book to come across like he was talking to a friend and that is EXACTLY how I felt. I had the great fortune of meeting him at an author event last October and he was the nicest man. So humble, approachable, and kind.

Listening to him share his struggles with anxiety and depression makes me appreciate him even more. Knowing how hard he has had to work alongside his "little monsters" to bring us the amazing books he has is amazing. He doesn't shy away from who he is or the struggles he has. I think this book is going to be an amazing resource to those that can see themselves in him, or those that can see themselves in his kids or wonderful wife. He is honest and real but also a cheerleader. He wants to love and celebrate his life and wants you to be able to do the same, no matter the mental health struggles one may be facing.

Thank you SO much, David, for bringing this book to market. I know it will be an incredible lifeline for so many that live with anxiety and depression.

[Camille · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have anxiety of any form or magnitude in your life (or, in a loved one’s life), read. this. book.

Alternatively, if you just want to hang out with very cool author David A. Robertson in your head for about 6 hours or so, read this book. He seems really nice, and I’m so glad he wrote this deeply vulnerable, generous memoir.

Also, it starts with an incident in Calgary and, though I was genuinely worried and empathetic about the physical and mental anguish he was going through, a small part of me was also like: “I live there!”

[Shannon Mathers · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are affected by anxiety either in your own self or in someone you love, this book is a must read. All the Little Monsters is raw, emotional, and full of wisdom. Those suffering with anxiety may feel like they’re looking in a mirror. I flew through this memoir! Thanks for being so vulnerable, Dave!

[Signey · Rating 5 out of 5]

David A. Robertson is a local author for me and he has become a favourite author so I want to pick up anything that he writes. And I’m glad I read this one. David details moments throughout his life that have been impacted by his anxiety and how his mental health has effected not only his daily life, but also his family.

When I started this book, I wasn’t too sure what to expect as I do not have anxiety. But I think this is a worthwhile read for everyone. Those who have anxiety might be able to connect to his story and those who do not have anxiety can hopefully understand how mental illness can affect someone’s life.

Overall, I appreciated the authentic look into what David experiences with his anxiety and depression as well as his discussions into the steps he has taken to help him live life - what has worked and what has not worked for him.

[Stephanie’s Libby Antics · Rating 4 out of 5]

Living with anxiety in a healthy body is hard enough, I can’t imagine doing it with a heart condition.

I love the cover and title of this book! The little monsters is such an apt metaphor. FYI, it is much more memoir than self help.

[Kelly (miss_kellysbookishcorner) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Title: All the Little Monsters: How I Learned to Live with Anxiety
Author: David A. Robertson
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 4.50
Pub Date: January 21, 2025

I received a complimentary eARC from HarperCollins Canada via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. #Gifted

T H R E E • W O R D S

Insightful • Relatable • Candid

📖 S Y N O P S I S

From the outside, David A. Robertson looks as if he has it all together—a loving family, a successful career as an author, and a platform to promote Indigenous perspectives, cultures and concerns. But what we see on the outside rarely reveals what is happening inside. Robertson lives with “little monsters”: chronic, debilitating health anxiety and panic attacks accompanied, at times, by depression. During the worst periods, he finds getting out of bed to walk down the hall an insurmountable task. During the better times, he wrestles with the compulsion to scan his body for that sure sign of a dire health crisis.

In All the Little Monsters, Robertson reveals what it’s like to live inside his mind and his body and describes the toll his mental health challenges have taken on him and his family, and how he has learned to put one foot in front of the other as well as to get back up when he stumbles. He also writes about the tools that have helped him carry on, including community, therapy, medication and the simple question he asks himself on repeat: what if everything will be okay?

💭 T H O U G H T S

Anxiety is ever-present, and a life-long journey, in my own life, so I knew I wanted to read All the Little Mosnters from Canadian author David A. Robertson, where he unpacks his own experience living with chronic anxiety and depression. Memoirs relating to mental health are one of my favourite sub-genres because I often find them highly relatable and deeply honest - such is the case with this one.

With deep vulnerability, David offers a window into the daily challenges and realities of living with chronic anxiety. For people who haven't experienced anxiety and depression, it is often hard to fully understand the grasp it takes, yet David does a very good job describing the day-to-day living and how there are these constant voices working against us.

He writes with heart and humour as he presents his story in such an accessible and conversational manner. He never sugarcoats things, yet offers hope and tools for navigating 'the little monsters'. I gravitated towards the parts where he explains how anxiety manifests in physical symptoms. This is an often misunderstood aspect of mental illness. I also appreciated how he shares strategies which have worked for him, particularly the power of community. Withdrawing is often one of the core elements of anxiety and depression, yet isolations exacerbates it and this is a reminder to have those people to support you through on the toughest of days.

David's story is one of the memoirs I have seen myself within the most and I greatly appreciate his writing his story and hope it helps others on their own mental health journeys. This is the type of book I would recommend to those living with mental illness, yet also to those who love someone with anxiety and/or depression. All the Little Monsters is only my second book from this author, and I would really like to explore more of his work, not only his writing.

📚 R E A D • I F • Y O U • L I K E
• mental illness reads
• real-life memoirs
• feeling supported on your journey

⚠️ CW: mental illness, chronic anxiety, panic attacks/disorders, OCD, depression, suicidal thoughts, alcoholism, alcohol, medical content, medical trauma, death, death of parent, grief, cursing, car accident, terminal illness, ALS

🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S

"Mental health is a journey, and it's not a day trip. It's lifelong."

"There's no judgement anywhere in the world of mental health, not towards yourself, and not towards others. I have come to learn that kindness, above all else, is the most productive thing."

"If you are at rock bottom, and so deep down in a pit that you are convinced you will never find your way out of it. I want to tell you that it will be okay. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But it will be okay. Your job is to make it through that day, that tomorrow, until the pit feels a bit shallower, and climbing out of it seems like a possibility. And do you know what else? Nobody really understands anxiety or struggles with mental health unless they have experienced it. Some people may be in the shit, and they don't want to admit it, or they may not be ready to talk about it, and that requires kindness above all else."

"The more you pay attention to your symptoms, the worse they get, the more you worry about them, the worse they get, and on and on and on it goes."

"Whatever those little monsters are saying to you, they are always lying, no matter how convincing they sound."

"Representation is a pathway to healing."