I enjoy Ward Carroll's YouTube channel, and have a lot of respect for him. Unfortunately, Punk's War needed a few more passes before it got published.
The positive side is that this book was what I expected: having been a Tomcat backseater for fifteen years, "Mooch" describes carrier aviation as it really is. Flying and fighting a jet is a complex endeavor: highly trained professionals need to be completely focused, or they crash their jets or lose their targets. They have to fly with their brains, not the seat of their pants. Their aircraft don't do their jobs for them, they have to know their radars, missiles, and flight envelope perfectly to do their job. They deal with broken and malfunctioning parts, deal with rules of engagement, and keep an impossible number of factors in mind at once.
It is fascinating to read about all the complexities of daily operations, such as that every aircraft type has a representative to explain its particulars as-needed to the overall commander of air wing operations. Even the radio operations procedures, like asking for "bogey dope" and reporting contacts back to the airborne controllers. It's this very real picture of air operations that makes Carroll's book stand out from typical fare that pays no attention to the real details.
Unfortunately, Carroll's book is also exactly what I expected: there are long passages that are totally pedestrian. There are about three "action" sequences in the book, the last of which is magnificent, and the rest is detailing the tedious and frustrating experience of daily life in the military. This is somewhat expected: veterans like to write novels where their heroes are bored out of their minds, to reflect the reality of service life. This might have been interesting the first time I saw it, but writing about how things are boring, is, itself, boring. The terminal ennui of servicemen worried about how their life takes its toll on their relationships, and the frustrations and drunken fights that amount to nothing, ultimately resolved through the shared experience of being in service together... if you've read it once, you've read it enough times.
Carroll needed to ruthlessly trim away the scenes of Punk being bored, lonely, frustrated, angry, jealous, and generally miserable, while sitting in bars, canteens, mess halls, and hotels. None of this sets Carroll apart from an endless number of other military novels, especially those written by veterans. It makes it sink into the mass. What makes it stand out is his genuine descriptions of air combat and air operations: he should have stuck to those more.
Finally, Carroll needs practice in the art of writing fiction. A lot of it. It's a learned skill, like any other, and Carroll is a beginner. Sentences various run on with no punctuation, or are wild jumbles of too many clauses. Too often I re-read a sentence, mentally sorting which clauses related to each other, because Carroll had blended together too many thoughts in one sentence. Scenes are often totally sterile, with no sense of action or life: a life-or-death dogfight can read the same as a pre-flight briefing. This is unfortunate, because, this is avoidable: all writers have to start somewhere. This just needed a dedicated editor to review it and explain what didn't work, and why, and allow Carroll to improve his craft iteratively.
I hope that Carroll finds someone to do this for him. Although it's been a long time since Punk's War came out, I would like to read what "Mooch" can create with just a bit more guidance.