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145 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 10, 2014
- The Days of All Your Bitternesses..., pg. 11
- The River Sings Praises..., pg. 27
- Need for Art, pg. 35
- Discovery About a Young Woman, pg. 45
- The First Sonnet, pg. 59
- When We Had Been Apart..., pg. 63
- To Be Read Mornings and Evenings, pg. 77
- Sonnet, pg. 85
- After the Death of My Collaborator M.S., pg. 92
- When It Is Fun with You, pg. 103
WEAKNESSES [Schwächen]
You had none
I had one:
I loved.
OUR UNCEASING CONVERSATION . . .
Our unceasing conversation that was like
The conversation of two poplars and that had lasted many years
Has fallen silent.
I no longer hear
The things you say or write nor do you hear
The things I say.
I held you on my lap and combed your hair
I instructed you in the art of war
And taught you how to conduct yourself with a man
How to read books and how to read faces
How to fight and how to rest
But now I see
How much I never said to you.
Often I wake in the night choking
On useless counsels.
WHEN WE HAD BEEN APART . . .
When we had been apart longer than ever before
Fearfully I searched your letters through for such
Words unknown to me as would say you were
No longer the one I know so well and miss so much.
And yet it must be that, seeing one another again
At once we’d recognize how in need we are
To M
That night you didn’t come
I couldn’t sleep but went
Many times to the door and it
Was raining and I went back in again.
I didn’t know it then but I know it now:
That night it was already like the later nights
When you never came again and I couldn’t sleep
And was already scarcely waiting anymore
But many times went to the door
Because it was raining there and cool.
But after those nights and still in later years
Whenever the rain dripped I would hear your footsteps Outside the door and in the wind your voice
And your crying on the cold corner because
You couldn’t get in.
For that reason I got up often in the night and
Went to the door and opened it and
Let in whoever had no home
And beggars came and whores, dossers
And all manner of folk.
Now many years have passed and even if
Rain still drips and the wind blows
If you came now in the night
I know I wouldn’t know you anymore, not your voice
And not your face because things have changed.
Yet I still hear footsteps in the wind
And weeping in the rain and that somebody
Wants to come in.
And I’ve a mind to go to the door
And open it and see has no one come—
But I don’t get up and I don’t go out
Don’t see
And nor does anybody come
THE SEVENTH PSALM
1. My beloveds, I know it: my hair is falling out with this wild living and I must lay me down on the stones. You see me drinking the cheapest schnapps and I go naked in the wind.
2. But, my beloveds, once upon a time I was pure.
3. I had a woman, she was stronger than me as the grass is stronger than the bull. The grass lifts up again.
4. She saw that I was bad and she loved me.
5. She did not ask where the way led that was her way and perhaps it led downward. When she gave me her body she said: That is all. And it became my body.
6. Now she is not anywhere anymore, she vanished like the cloud when it has rained, I let her go and she fell, for that was her way.
7. But at night sometimes when you see me drinking I see her face white in the wind and strong and turned my way, and I bow into the wind.
I SHALL GO WITH THE ONE I LOVE . . .
I shall go with the one I love.
I shall not reckon what it costs.
I shan’t consider if it’s right.
I shall not ask if he loves me.
I shall go with him I love.
TO BE READ MORNINGS AND EVENINGS
He whom I love
Has told me
That he needs me.
That’s why I take care of myself
Watch my step and
Fear every raindrop
Lest it strike me down.
Need For Art
The virtuous woman who gives her lover all
And offers up herself to him quite freely
Must learn that good intentions are not really
Quite enough -- he's also crying out for skill.
And even if her cry of "Iamyours"
Translates to sex with breakneck quickness
He isn't really interested in slickness
When it comes to emptying his swollen balls.
Although it may be love that stokes the fire
She'll need, for winters in those harsher years
Some real talent in that bum of hers.
More needful than a soulful gaze and sighs
(Although she'll need them too) are eager thighs
Performing tricks with gusto and desire.