The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll: The Search for Dare Wright

by Jean Nathan

The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll: The Search for Dare Wright

Genres: Biography, Nonfiction, Biography Memoir, Memoir, Art, Photography, History

308 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

There is more than one author with this name
Jean Nathan was educated at Williams College and the Columbia School of Journalism. She was a staff writer for The New York Observer and a senior editor at Connoisseur magazine. She has written for The New York Times, The New Yorker, Travel & Leisure, Vogue, ARTNews, and other publications. She lives in New York City.

Reviews

[karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

so it is now biography month. i think i expected something more tragic and explosive than this. instead, it is as tragically funny as watching grey gardens - maybe a little sadder. mothers and their daughters should not spend this much time together. everyone knows that. much like three or four women cannot be around each other without spontaneously engaging in lesbian pillow fight action, mothers and daughters living together their whole lives leads to emotional claustrophobia and, eventually, insanity. sleeping in the same bed together well into the daughter's fifties is just plain absurd. and a mother as self-absorbed and delusional as miss edith should have been left to fend for herself long before it got to that point. but i know a mother daughter pair like this. and its the same thing - relentless photographing of each other - beauty transformations involving makeup and hair color changes - a fug of cigarette smoke. its terrifying to witness, but apart from that - not truly remarkable.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This biography of Dare Wright had a lot of flaws, but a year later the story's still imprinted in my generally flaky memory, and I can't deny that I sat down and inadvertently read the whole thing in one sitting, sooooo.... The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll is definitely a four-star book. I don't think Jean Nathan's the greatest biographer who's ever lived, and I felt her pop-Freudian analysis of Wright left a lot to be desired (okay, it annoyed the crap out of me, though that's a personal pet peeve), but Nathan does deserve real recognition for unearthing the hitherto untold story of this extremely fascinating woman.

Dare Wright is the author of a famous 1957 picture book for small children. If you don't know it, The Lonely Doll is a memorably creepy story illustrated by black and white photographs, about a blonde doll who lives unhappily all alone until two bears come to stay with her. The story contains lots of dress up, an infamous spanking scene, and a profound childhood fear of abandonment -- in other words, it's made to order for the twisted, confused brains of little girls. The book's rather lovely and artful and sick and clearly meant to sear itself deeply into the mushy psyches of young readers. If you haven't looked at it, you should. There is also a bunch of Lonely Doll sequels.

And of course it turns out that Wright herself had quite a uniquely twisted psyche of her own. Her life is truly in the realm of too-disturbing-for-a-storybook, too-bizarre-to-make-up. The perennial girl-child of a creepy, Svengali-like mother, Wright seems to have lived the life of a doll as much as a human being could. She was a model and photographer who actually seems to have existed more in the fantasy worlds she created and photographed than she did in real life, where Wright seems to have been profoundly uncomfortable. In addition to a bizarrely enmeshed relationship with her mother, Wright also had a very close, quasi-romantic relationship with her brother, and after a brief courtship in her youth never married or consummated any romantic relationship. She presumably starved herself throughout her entire life to maintain a thin, childlike figure, and suffered a complete mental breakdown when her mother finally died. Wright's last years are almost unbearably tragic to read about (and are not treated with much insight here, IMHO), and are practically an ad for better social service funding. Some of the most interesting themes of Dare Wright's life -- art, representation, gender, etc. -- might not be adequately explored in this book, but they're so unavoidable and the story's so fascinating that this doesn't matter much. The narrative is very well-told, though I did find the author's decision to end the book with her personal story very jarring, and wished she'd put it at the beginning instead of the end. Still, as I mentioned above, I accidentally read this book last year in one sitting -- flipped it open to look and didn't manage to close it until I was done-- which definitely recommends the thing highly. Nathan does do a fantastic job of immersing the reader in Wright's completely bizarre and enchanting world (think brother-and-sister-separated-at-birth trying to marry, New York in the fifties, a demented version of Eloise....) and I was very sad at the end to leave it.

I agree with Tosh that Wright is a really interesting artist, and I'd love to see her work get more attention.... which hopefully it will pretty soon! I'm excited to see that Julian Schabel's working on a movie about Dare Wright. The fact that Jean Nathan's isn't going to be the last word on Wright helps me fully appreciate the work she did in uncovering this story. Honestly, I'm sure Nathan did a fine job, and some of the ways she chose to approach this just grated on me for personal reasons having to do with my professional biases. If you're not irritated by glib Freudian summaries of people's serious psychiatric problems, you will absolutely love this book. Hell, even if you are, you'll probably love it anyway; I did!

[Hilary · Rating 3 out of 5]

After reading a couple of the lonely doll books I was interested to read about the person who had made such interesting and unique but very sad stories. Reading about Dare's life you can see exactly why she wrote about a sad lonely doll.

Dare's story is fascinating and so very sad. Not only life events but her pursuit of being beautiful and relying on her looks, her all over tan, her bleach blond hair, her extremely small waist, this obviously can't last forever.

To rate only the author, I think this could have been more objective, I feel the author made too many conclusions, she had ideas she wanted to prove. I was surprised when I read that this book included naked photos of Dare taken by her mother, this was used several times with regard to their 'unhealthy' relationship. I think the photos are modest and they are very good and artistic, the cover photo being an example of this, they look timeless and I think they are tasteful and skilfully taken, there are no nipples or pubic hair on show and I think her mother and Dare herself as an artist and a painter wouldn't have the same inhibitions about the body as others may have. They were very close and it is heartbreaking that Dare never left that relationship and found one of her own. Many elements of Dare's life are heartbreaking. It could be that Dare's mother was stifling or they had an unhealthy relationship in other ways but the photos seemed over scandalized to me.

This was a very depressing read, sadly as Dare stayed so close to her mother it is inevitable that when she died her life would fall apart. It was amazing that for a family of chain smoking ready meal eaters and in later years, heavy drinkers they all lived to quite an old age. Sadly it feels like they didn't enjoy much of their lives apart from when they were escaping their lives. It is so sad that Dare and her brother didn't get to share their childhoods together, it is obvious they never really recovered from that.

The end of Dare's life was particularly distressing, how disturbing and dreadful that - distressing content the book claims that Dare remained a virgin until her 80s. She started to drink too much after her mother and brother's death and would drink with homeless people from the park and let them sleep in her flat to stay somewhere dry for the night until she was attacked and raped. The description of her drinking and talking to the photos and paintings of her mother and brother was very depressing

There are many photos in this book which are very interesting and sad to look through. I would have liked to have seen some of Dare's artwork, a portrait of a boyfriend is visable in a scene of a room, it does look as if Dare, like her mother had a considerable artistic talent.

One thing I really wanted to know was, where is Edith the lonely doll now? I really hope she is somewhere nice, hopefully a museum with some of her friends (maybe not Mr Bear) It doesn't say.

Being a UK reader I had not come across Dare Wright or her books before but it seems they are well known in the US and Canada. After reading this biography you can see exactly why the lonely doll books are the way they are.

Read on open library.

[Tosh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book and I love Dare Wright. Even her name is great. Dare was a beautiful model who did a series of children books called "The Lonely Doll," where she photographed and wrote the narrative of this ugly little doll and her other doll friends. At one time it was thought to be charming, but looking at the books now they are truly hidious and scary.

The story of Dare Wright is truly an American Gothic tale, with a mother very close to her daughter (Dare Wright) and then to add more weirdness a brother who was very close to his sister (Dare Wright) but hated the mother with an intense passion. And the fact that Dare slept with her mother most of her life.... The mom of course is just as interesting as the daughter. A society painter gone to seed.

With respect to films, only Visconti or maybe John Waters could do this story any cinamatic justice. A must read, and then get her creepy Lonely Dolls books! You must I tell you!!!!

EVERYONE READ THIS BOOK!

[Callie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't believe I had not heard more about this book before!
It really seems like one that snuck under the radar. Oh my freaking god is what I kept wanting to shout out loud as it kept me up, reading page after page some nights past three in the morning. You are immediately drawn into the wacky lives of two women- the shy, ethereal, bizarre & gorgeous author of The Lonely Doll (also model/actress/artist), Dare Wright, and her crazier, eccentric artist mother, heavily painted faced Edie Wright.

Eerily reminiscent of the famous Beale sisters (Grey Gardens) and even What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, enter the child-like make believe world of the Wrights- a mother and daughter who had a relationship so close that they spooned each other to sleep nightly up to Edie's death.

It helped that the Lonely Doll was one of my favorite childhood books (as well as my mother's I might add!), but I think for those who aren't familiar with the stories, you will still find enjoyment (as ironic as that sounds) in this often sad and emotionally draining tale.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

i really liked this book. it could be bundled up with the "grey gardens" documentary in a care package addressed to britney spears.

[Bloodorange · Rating 3 out of 5]

An unbearably meticulous homage to an artist I would much rather read a longform article on. I only finished this as study in pathological escapism.

[Jackie "the Librarian" · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know if you remember the Lonely Doll books. Bordered in pink checkerboard, and illustrated with black and white photos of the doll and her adventures, the first book was about a lonely little girl doll named Edith, who had a lovely home, but nobody to live with her. She finds a family when two bears, Mr. Bear and his son, appear in her garden.

I found the story a bit creepy, as Edith gets in trouble for dressing up and writing "Mr. Bear is a silly old thing" in lipstick on the mirror, and gets spanked, petticoats showing, over the knee of Mr. Bear. She begs him not to leave, and tells him she'll do anything if he will only stay. Hmm.

But a lot of girls, and grown up girls who remember the books from their childhoods, loved it and all the other books in the series.

The books are illustrated with lovingly staged photos of the doll Edith, always looking glamorous in elaborate hairstyles and clothing, and the bears in their home. The author and photographer was herself a glamorous young woman named Dare Wright.

Dare was abandoned by her father and brother at the age of three, leaving her to her mother's unhealthy dominence and over-intimacy. Dare's mother, Edie, dressed her up like a doll, and used Dare as model in elaborate photography shoots, including nudes, examples of which are included throughout the book. According to Nathan's account, Edie kept Dare in a state of emotional childhood, preventing her from developing independence and adult maturity.

Nathan theorizes that the Lonely Doll books reflect Dare's own childhood traumas, reenacted and reimagined through her doll model, Edith. It seems an obvious conclusion to draw.

The only male Dare felt comfortable with was her brother, Blaine, with whom she reconnected at the age of twenty. She avoided relationships with other men, and never married. After Edie's death at the age of 90, with no one to care for her, and never having learned to live independently, Dare fell into alcoholism, and self-destructive behavior, dying destitute and alone.

Twisted and fascinating, this book will draw you in and not let you go. I don't know if that counts as a recommendation.

[Katie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Man, apparently I'm the only one who didn't like this book. This rating is not to discredit the life or works of Dare, because I think she was obviously a very talented, beautiful, mystical, yet tortured woman (and that's why I bumped it to two stars), but to say that I just didn't enjoy reading this book at all.

First, I want to give some HUGE credit to Jean Nathan for her research on Dare Wright. As she wrote, there was very little prior info. on Ms. Wright available other than a few public interviews and photos. I cannot imagine the work Nathan had to do and the hours she spent to complete this book. Like she says, it is not written to get to KNOW Dare, because no one really does, but she does a great job using factual information.

Nathan's huge down-fall for me were her assumptions, cliches, and broad generalities. Everytime Dare did something strange, the author would tell the reader about it, then add a generality or assumption like 'this childhood story was Dare actually talking about herself since she was so disturbed," or "When her mother Edith said this, she really didn't mean it, she meant THIS instead (trying to control her daughter)." Though I appreciate Nathan's imput and ideas (and most of them are probably somewhat accurate,) I felt like she was trying to play psychologist. I would have prefered to read the factual information and making my own conclusions rather than having it placed in front of me in a nice, gift-wrapped box. The fact is that we have no way to prove what really went on in Dare's head AND THAT'S OK! Just tell the woman's story and appreciate it for what it is.

I had to force myself to pick this book back up. The writer is talented and Dare is extremely interesting (to say the least), but the way it was written was dragged out a little too much for me. Sorry guys :/

[Graham P · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading this, I'm lost in a world where 'Grey Gardens' and 'Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?' rub shoulders with Lewis Carroll and Liberace. This biography of photographer and children's book author, Dare Wright, is a detailed history of an eccentric who was sheltered in her own idyllic fantasy world by her dolls (and her mother), and then faced with utter despair and addiction as the losses in life became unbearable to maintain. What a story about the safety net that art provides, how family jealousies and tragic turns shape one's hidden personalities, and perhaps the book contains one of the saddest climaxes I've ever read, a filthy whisper to a fantasy land turned to dust and debris.

[Maritess · Rating 5 out of 5]

GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY

One of the most original books I've ever read. Really sick and amazing.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stumbling across this biography triggered a distant but happy memory of Dare Wright 's Lonely Doll books. Those stories were so precious to me. Not knowing what had become of Wright, I automatically snapped it up. It proved one of the best impulse buys I've ever made. Dare Wright led a fascinating life as an artist, photographer, and writer. Her demise was tragic but not shocking, given the fact she was virtually all alone toward the end of her life.

My favorite part of this book is the beautiful photos, both of and by Dare. She was a striking fashion model and I enjoyed looking at the advertisements in which she appeared. She reminds me somewhat of Nico from The Velvet Underground, who also began her career as a model and ended as an artist.

I see from the Dare Wright website that her friends seem to dislike the author of this book, feeling that Nathan's treatment was exploitive. I respectfully disagree...I thought it was most sympathetic. I also suspect that this biography triggered the long-overdue reprinting of Dare's books. I, for one, am grateful that Nathan wrote it, and hope that more of Dare's photos are published in a big coffee table book. They are simply stunning, and show that Wright was even more talented than even her greatest fans ever knew.

[Louise · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first saw the Lonely Doll books as an adult and marveled at the technical aspects of the photography, the creative posing of the toys and the stories that would touch children more than any other books of their time. I wondered about the woman who created them in the 1950's. From her photo she appeared to be a NYC sophisticate. Now that I have read Jean Nathan's bio I understand both more and less about the author, Dare Wright.

The book is riveting, not only for the story of Dare Wright, but also for the engaging prose. There are well selected photos throughout, each worth more than 1000 words. Pictures fully define the beauty and many visages of Wright. From the photos of Wright and her brother, taken for fun (not for ads or art exhibits although they are of that quality), you can glimpse the complexity of their relationship. Similarly, the intimacy of mother and daughter is shown in both words and photos.

Nathan explores Wright's books and shows how the Wright lived her stories. The narration shows how the Wright, herself, was the Lonely Doll. In childhood she was ignored as her mother built a career as a society painter. She went off uncomplainingly to boarding school. Later in life mother and daughter developed a dependency such that many thought they were lesbians and not family. With Wright's re-discovery of her brother, her mother competed for her affection.

Nathan explores the personal relationships, but another aspect to both mother and daughter is how they defy the mores of their times. Edie Stevenson Wright made a living in a highly competitive men's field. She went to great ends to escape the stigma of divorce. When she painted President Calvin Coolidge he told her that women should not have careers. Dare Wright rejected "good" marriages and a fledgling modeling career (both considered the ideal for women at the time) for her own creative life.

Today, the toys who pose in Wright's books are easier to find than the books. Our local Barnes and Noble has none and our local public library only 4 of these classics. Young families no longer punish children with over the knee spanking depicted in several of Wright's books. It was very common in the life of children in the 1950's. Nathan does not comment, but, like the photos of brother and sister on p. 90 and 96, and Wright's nude self-portraits, there is something you can't quite put your finger on about the p. 211 photo of Edith being spanked by Mr. Bear.

This is a biography that cannot be pieced through letters and documents. The telling Wright's story relies heavily on interviews of people who knew her. Given the age of these sources, this story, without the diligence of Joan Nathan, would have been lost forever.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dare Wright was amazing. I seriously think there was nothing she could not have done if she put her mind to it. She sewed, built her own furniture, created her own couture outfits, took stunning photography, modeled, authored books and did interior decorating. Yet for all she did, the biggest thing she NEEDED to do was break away from her manipulative mother who basically ruined any chance Dare had to form long lasting and healthy relationships be they platonic or romantic. She kept her child-like, dependent and terrified of the adult world.

Her mother and her eventually melded into one person, unable to be independent of one another. When Dare’s mother died she basically lost her identity. She didn’t know how to live outside of the conscripts of what her mother built as their own little bubble world. She descended immediately. In the end she is a lonely alcoholic with an unreliable and oftentimes delusional mind. She begins leaving the confines of her apartment in NY to sleep on park benches and inviting complete unknown strangers to come and stay in her home. The home she decorated so artfully that it was featured in magazines became a derelict bum hotel. Dare would be brutally attacked and raped by one of these men, sadly her only sexual encounter her entire life. Had this violent assault not happened to her, Dare would have died a virgin.

There is so much loss and missed chances in Dare’s life and it is so frustrating because I couldn’t help but hate her mother and think if only she had been a decent human being there is no end to what Dare’s life could have truly been.

[Emi Yoshida · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jean Nathan is a great writer/investigative journalist. Egomaniacal artist mom and alcoholic dad who's lost his ambition split up; she keeps daughter Dare and he keeps son Blaine. Children are traumatized, and spend their whole lives mired in a mental childhood.

This is the biography of Daughter Dare who was so completely incapacitated by her fears of abandonment that she sacrificed her own future to appease Edie, her domineering mother. Living in a fantasy land, in makeup and costume, with props and staging. As an adult Dare became a children's book author, after briefly acting and then modeling. The series she creates are her stories, accompanied by her own photography of the title character the Lonely Doll (symbolizing herself but named for her mother, Edith) and companions Little Bear (symbolizing her brother) and Big Bear (their father). There are stories within stories here, family dysfunction for miles, and gorgeously intimate photos, all expertly investigated and presented in a surprisingly hilarious (not over-all, but in parts legitimately laugh-out-loud) account of an achingly sad guide to How Not to Raise Children.

[Trish · Rating 2 out of 5]

This isn't my usual reading fare. I guess I can see why it might be interesting. Frankly, I felt a voyeur and found myself wondering how I got here. I felt sad for this beautiful, stylish, and artistically talented young woman who appeared to lack the instinct to live and love. The corrosive influence of a domineering mother may have kept Dare Wright from sexually maturing. I got the impression that Dare had only an inkling of how sex makes the world revolve on its axis. She knew sex was important, witness The Lonely Doll series, but she wasn't exactly sure how or why it was important.

The quote preceding Chapter Seven seems particularly appropriate:

It is an anxious, sometimes a dangerous thing to be a doll. Dolls cannot choose; they can only be chosen; they cannot "do"; they can only be done by.--Rumar Godden, The Doll's House

It is always a pity when a life is wasted, though I do not pity Dare Wright. She lived, she died. As do we all.

[Kimberly Karalius · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this all in one day! So much hard work went into piecing together the enigmatic life of Dare Wright - Jean Nathan accomplished such a Herculean task to create the most vivid picture of Dare’s life. I was late to THE LONELY DOLL.

My first Dare book was LONA, and I’ve been obsessed with that story since I was little. I was thrilled that Nathan had found out so much about Dare’s process in creating LONA, including behind the scenes photos. A-mazing. Magical.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating chronicle, particularly for fans of the Lonely Doll books. I did feel like the author was overly free with her own psychological diagnoses of the Wright family members but that was a fairly minor irritant. I give Nathan props for what appears to have been an extraordinary amount of research, and I think she did an excellent job of organizing it and then turning it into a very readable story.

[emilie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dare Wright truly deserved to be written about posthumously. A virgin seductress model photographer who created elaborate scenes with dolls and made them into children's stories. This book is very well written and interesting from start to finish.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had been haunted by The Lonely Doll book as a child. This background story was the perfect closure.

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored the Lonely Doll books when I was a child, so found this biography of their author fascinating and just so heartbreaking. Turns out Dare Wright's books were her way of (probably subconsciously) trying to salvage her own life from an oppressive mother who basically sucked her dry. Dare was beautiful, talented, sweet, and so so broken. I'll never look at her books the same way again.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored this book. I let it sit by my bedside for a few months so I wouldn’t finish it. Like many people say, if you enjoyed grey gardens you’d be mesmerized by this biography as well. A tender look at a daughter and how she lives in the world—or attempts to escape it—through the clutches of a mother daughter relationship. My only qualm was toward the end, her falls attributed exclusively to alcoholism, the statements that she simply lied to others about her day to day; I wish there was either less certainty in those statements, or an explanation of how it could be asserted as fact, as the author was careful to do with other plausible explanations throughout the narrative.

[Katie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story was absolutely incredible, but for some reason I found myself drifting at times, which I'll get into in a minute.

Last year one of my students brought in "The Lonely Doll," the really weird children's book from the 60s. The parent even warned the teacher, "It's, uh, weird." Ha! I was struck that the illustrations were these detailed photographs, and also that, of course, it was so weird. I mean, creepy, for realz. Recently I looked it up to show a friend, and I saw this biography of the author, and was completely hooked by the synopsis. It makes total sense that such a strange book would have a strange author, but I didn't realize the depths of the bizarre this book would get into.

Basically, if you've seen "Grey Gardens," that was the relationship Dare Wright had with her mother (interesting, her name was also Edie). The doll starring in "The Lonely Doll" was named Edith after her. They have this sick, codependent relationship from the time Dare is born, but what's extra odd about it is that, rather than isolating themselves among cats and raccoons a la Grey Gardens, they're super out and about in the world. To the point where Edie (a well-respected painter) did a portrait of Greta Garbo and much of Cleveland society. They were these society ladies who hung out with very wealthy and well-known people, and yet they were still desperate for their own, creepy world in which they played dress-up and slept in the same bed well into adulthood (ew).

Nathan does a great job of interviewing the gazillion people who knew them - as I said, they were Super Society Ladies, and so I basically had to give up keeping track of everyone they knew and that Nathan mentions. It isn't that she isn't organized - the book is extremely well done. It's just . . . too many. One criticism I have is actually that I would have preferred more in-depth statements from friends of the family than dozens of sound-bites from a plethora of individuals. I felt like I was getting a lot of "what" without enough "how" or "why."

Many people who knew Dare said that she sparkled; men followed her everywhere, adored her, but she at one point literally ran away from a man in a panic. Edie is spoken about factually, but even these bare facts allude to her obsession with Dare. While I appreciate that the author is being factual, I wish I had just a slight bit of judgment from someone, somewhere. I mean, c'mon. These two were nuts. I read a lot of this with my jaw hanging open. And then I started to get annoyed at everyone who would go to their house, eat their food, and enjoy their company, but would never comment on or admit that this was extremely twisted. The "looking the other way" gets to the point of being obnoxious because, as I said, they weren't hiding.

The only person who seems to blatantly agree with me about Edie and Dare's relationship is Dare's brother Blaine, whom she met in adulthood; one of themes is the struggle Dare had between her mother and brother. But, then again, don't get too attached to Blaine because the moment they met, he and Dare were so obsessed with each other they considered just, like, living as husband and wife - which, holy shit, Jean Nathan, that is ONE LINE. You CANNOT just drop the mic on something like that.

Anyway, my anger at the supposed objectivity of this book increased reading about Dare's ridiculously sad end. It made me really upset, if I'm being honest. Because anybody who knew her should've known she'd end up the way she did. There's really no excuse for it, none at all. Thank God she had nurses that could at least attempt to help her, and did more for her than all of her shallow, stupid friends who liked her outfits and were entertained by her childishness.

Listen. I definitely recommend this book. The story is unbelievable and heartbreaking. Dare Wright is proof that the world is unlikely to ever be boring. She was unique, and the author does a great job of interpreting her photos and stories in line with her life. I just wish she had probed a bit more into the psychosis occurring, and perhaps had been a bit more blatant with the, "Guys, just keep in mind, this is wrong" aspect of the story. Sometimes objectivity comes off too much like approval, though I'm sure that that wasn't her intention. I just needed a bit more depth, and she had so much access to Wright's friends and family, I think it was possible to achieve.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Working in the children's department of a book store, it didn't take long for me to encounter the classic The Lonely Doll . The book was not part of my childhood; in fact, I'd never even heard of it until a year or so ago. The reviews were so mixed, so controversial, that I knew I had to check it out. I ordered myself a copy and was instantly transfixed upon reading it. The gorgeous black-and-white photographs accompanied by the story of a yielding doll create a somehow gentle yet haunting story. I wanted to learn more about the person who assembled such an odd but beautiful children's book, which brought me to The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll: The Search for Dare Wright .

While I have a handful of books that I've been working on reading for months now, The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll demanded my attention and I finished it within only a couple of days. Jean Nathan did an excellent job telling the story of Dare Wright. I couldn't put it down. I carried it with me everywhere I went, just hoping for a moment of downtime to spend with it.

Dare Wright, as I've learned from Nathan, was Edith, the lonely doll. Her biography is very unusual and very touching. So many times, and even as I write this, I wished I had the opportunity to send the lonely Wright a postcard. While oftentimes I was confused by Wright's idiosyncrasies as delicately detailed by Nathan, there were just as many times that I felt an allegiance to her. I feel that is not only a testament to the magic of Wright, but to the careful writing of Nathan.

This book has painted the last several days of my life a pastel hue. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Dare Wright through the eyes of Jean Nathan. Somewhat of a "lonely doll" myself, I yearned to play dress up and dolls with Wright. Upon waking after indulging in several chapters before bed, I sleepily picked up my phone to text a friend and had to laugh at myself when my phone told me there was no "Edith" in my contacts.

The last few chapters, detailing the last years of Wright's life, were somber. By the end of the book, I felt an emptiness as I sympathized with Wright. I felt the same sadness as Nathan shared a bit of her own biography. I didn't cry, though I was thisclose to doing it, but I hugged the book and declared it a new favorite.

[Mark · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dare Wright would seem to be the ideal subject of a biography—accomplished, and notable, but largely unknown as a person. And yet, while most biographies, even bad ones, humanize their subjects, The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll almost seems to dehumanize Wright, leaning too hard into the portrayal of her as someone ethereal, otherworldly, fairy-like; yes, Nathan makes clear efforts to mitigate this, but they aren’t really successful ones. Part of the problem is that the lives of Edie and Dare are so Gothic in their details that the real world and the surrounding people seem hopelessly flat in comparison, to the point of seeming to exist in a separate plane altogether; it’s somewhat hard to blame Nathan for finding the two central women’s lives so intriguing that introductions of new characters seem rushed, and almost bypassed. The book breathes for the first time once Edie dies (and fittingly so, given the relationship between her and Dare), and that, in combination, with Dare’s aging, allows the book to end on a note that finally manages to hit the right touches of humanity and realism that are the baseline benchmarks of a successful biography.

Setting aside the problems perhaps implicitly posed by her subject, Nathan’s writing tends toward the speculative (both in terms of suggestions of causality and interpretations of Wright’s art); she’s careless in other ways, too—she assumes a narrow demographic of the readership of Wright’s books, and is a bit sloppy with her prose, failing to close clauses with commas, misaligning references, choosing unsuitable words, and making ill-fated efforts at pseudo-parallelism. (There are duplicate words and misspellings, too, which are her fault, ye, but also that of the publishing house—not a small one, as I’d guessed, but the book is probably targeted towards such a small niche audience that it was nevertheless not given much editorial attention.) There’s a problem posed by the framing device, which puts Nathan in the first person to begin and close the book, but in between shifts to third-person, leaving the audience to think about Nathan’s admitted involvement in the life of Wright even as she avoids having to address this directly. (Instead, Nathan asserts herself in other distracting ways, often adopting a sort of ironizing, dubious, almost mocking tone that’s not well-suited to a reportorial effort, that allows her again to sidestep responsibility, subtle enough to allow for plausible deniability while allowing her to impugn without evidence. Wright’s life was, as best as I can tell, an interesting one, and I just wish a more suitable writer had though to write its story, because Wright may not be a major enough figure to receive a second biographical treatment.

[Marna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't expect this to be so incredibly sad. I don't know what it is about lately.

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully tragic life story, filled with a life reminiscent of Gray Gardens, albeit of more success, but as much overbearence. Two beautiful women, mother and daughter, each making their way as much on their talents as their charms, while clinging steadfast to each other, forsaking all others, except as needed. A brother who was taken by the divorced father is reunited many decades later, resentful to the mother, but steadfast lovingly to the sister. The dynamics continue throughout as their lives mingle. The children’s book that Dare Wright writes is the fairytale the most. But is it really? Later years, prove it autobiographical and sadly all encompassing. I have started ordering the children’s books for Myself.

[Giulia (moonrise.bookdom) · Rating 4 out of 5]

*3.5/5 stars.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Didn't hold my attention as much as I'd hoped--more a straight biography than narrative. The whole Wright family and everyone they know seem to suffer from that most American of ailments--they're all rich and very good-looking--and I was reminded of Savage Grace. However, the very last chapters were heartbreaking--elderly Dare opening her fancy home to Central Park vagabonds or sleeping on benches herself, talking to portraits of her mother.

[Zoe · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’d never heard of The Lonely Doll by Dare Wright until I received this book as gift. The Lonely Doll is a children’s book from 1957 about a little lonely doll named Edith who is all by herself with no one to play with. That is, until she is found by Mr. Bear and Little Bear. Then she gets into mischief with Little Bear, and Mr. Bear disciplines her before promising they will never ever leave. That’s the extremely watered down version. The full book features a swanky dress up scene, controversial spanking and photography by Wright herself now described as dark and eerie. Needless to say, I’m on the hunt for an old copy to keep for forever.
The Secret Of The Lonely Doll focuses on the author, Miss Dare Wright. I won’t go into too much detail as I think that would be a bit stupid to cherry-pick details from this extraordinary woman’s life, but I will say this: You will feel nauseated reading this biography. I know because I did, and I have a much stronger stomach and blacker heart than most people. So if my stomach starts to turn and my throat tightens, you know it’s going to be heartbreaking. I can’t say anymore. Just read and read and try not to stop because you might lose the will to finish it.
Onto the actual review segment of this post. I had a few bones to pick with the author, Jean Nathan. The one I noticed immediately was how flowery and pretty the writing was. Now, I’m not one to scoff at poetic writing. In fact, I love it. But only if it has a very specific purpose. Two of my favorite novelists, Katherine Dunn and Chuck Palaniuk use this method brilliantly to contrast and highlight the horror in their stories. They have their reasoning and it works perfectly. Jean Nathan uses it off and on, almost randomly at odd moments. It seems unnecessary and amateur-ish. I could see an English student making that mistake, not a professional writer. I didn’t like it and found myself rolling my eyes at the strange paragraphs detailing this woman’s sprawling apartment filled with porcelain crockery with cracks around their gilded edges, almost like a metaphor for her near shattering life… Blah blah blah. That’s a shitty made up example but it’s very close to what she did.
Leading into my next problem: It’s not the job of a biographer to assume things about their subject or their subject’s lives. Especially if their subject is dead. Take the facts, weave them into a story I will care about and publish it. Do not write more weirdly included paragraphs about how even though Dare’s mother said this, she actually meant this and how it was a subconscious symbol of her indecision about whether to serve cat or alligator at a cocktail party… Blah blah blah. I don’t want speculation or more to the point, what she did, which is playtime guesswork. I can come up with my own theories, thank you. I don’t need them spoon fed to me by a woman that never even really spoke to her subject. I love that the book is mostly written from stories recounted by Dare’s friend and associates, but that is because they all knew her. Jean Nathan didn’t and it felt intrusive to read her thoughts and feelings in a factual telling of this woman’s life.
My final issue was pacing. I’d finish a chapter about the latter half of Dare’s twenties and then the next chapter would start in her early forties. What? What?! What happened to her thirties…? Did they just not exist? Is that why she remained a youthful glow up until her death, because she grew like a Time Lord and those years just didn’t actually happen and even if they did they passed so quickly it didn’t matter? Why? Why would Jean Nathan organize this book that way? Why did her editor let this slide? So many questions, and so few answers! I’d get over it but then her thirties would be mentioned in passing and I’d get confused and annoyed again. It was such a vicious cycle.
Surprisingly, even with those little problems, I still recommend this book. If you learn to just chuckle at the inconsistent poetry, odd mind reading and random time travel, you will have a marvelously horrible time reading this heartbreaker. Enjoy it! Cry! Gnash your teeth and roll your eyes at the insanity! Have fun diving into the world of Dare Wright.

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