Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

by Elisha Goldstein

In seven simple steps, Uncovering Happiness uses cutting-edge mindfulness and self-compassion techniques along with innovations in neuroscience to release natural antidepressants in the brain. Dr. Goldstein shows you how to take back control of your mind, your mood, and your life.

Most of us believe when we’re depressed that our situation is hopeless. That’s a mistake, Dr. Elisha Goldstein reassures us in Uncovering Happiness . The secret to overcoming depression and uncovering happiness is in harnessing our brain’s own natural antidepressant power and ultimately creating a more resilient antidepressant brain. Uncovering Happiness is grounded in two key mindfulness and self-compassion, and backed by recent scientific discoveries. New research shows that mindfulness reduces the risk of relapse in people who have experienced depression and can be a significant alternative, or supplement, to medication. The second foundation is self-compassion—a state of mind in which you understand your own suffering with an inclination to support yourself. Goldstein explores our natural antidepressants—along with mindfulness and self-compassion, also purpose, play, and confidence—and offers specific techniques for putting them into action. Together, these elements can transform something that typically forces us to spiral downward and turn it into an upward spiral of self-worth and resiliency.

At its core, Uncovering Happiness contains a persuasive argument for Having had depression in the past doesn’t mean you must also suffer from it in the future. You can build up the sections of the brain that protect you from depression, and slow down the sections that foster it. Doing this allows the brain’s own natural antidepressants to emerge, grow stronger, and contribute powerfully to the resiliency that we need to enjoy the good times, survive difficult times, and open ourselves up to lives that truly feel worth living.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health, Health, Meditation, Personal Development

320 pages, Hardcover

First published January 27, 2015

About the author

Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. is a psychologist, author and speaker. He is currently a licensed Psychologist in private practice in West Los Angeles and also teaches mindfulness-based programs through InsightLA.

Reviews

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, the book is about exactly what the title states. Elisha Goldstein sets out to teach you how to stop the depressive loop. Goldstein does something bold, and a little controversial in my opinion, and essentially calls depression a bad habit. Depression is definitely more than a bad habit, but if you're not careful, bad thought patterns can drag you deeper down into depression.

Ok, now I'm going to address something that self-help book don't seem to do. They all try to sell themselves as a cure for depression, but here is the truth: if you're severely depressed, self-help books will not help you. I repeat: they will NOT help you. If you score moderate to severely depressed on this test (http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/depqu...) or have recurring suicidal thoughts, I highly encourage you to seek a psychiatrist or a psychotherapist. Depression has such a strong grip on you that you cannot get out alone, and that's why I suggest you go to a mental health specialist. It's not because you're weak, it's because this disorder, which has a mind of its own, it's eating your brain away. Research has found that medication and psychotherapy are the only things that work for people who are severely depressed. Not even exercise helps. That's right, NOT EVEN EXERCISE HELPS. Exercise and self-help books are for people who are mildly depressed. Once you get to a mental health specialist who can help you see through the disorder and you start to fight it, then self-help books and exercising are for you. I'm not saying you should avoid them, but I'm saying you're going to need more help than just conventional wisdom if you're severely depressed. In Part 2, Step 7 "Learn to get Better and Better," Goldstein has the right idea. He suggests that people start off in small, easy steps, like putting on workout clothes or going for a five minute walk. That's the ultimate mindset anyone can have towards depression, slow, small, and steady steps will help you win the fight against depression. He's absolutely right that it takes months and sometimes even years to overcome depression, especially clinical depression. Your struggling is normal, and it will only get easier after a long, long period of time.

On to the actual review of the book, the biggest detracts were repetitiveness and Goldstein's personal information, mostly likely because he repeated his stories multiple times. I think that Goldstein includes his depression story to encourage people, acting as a role model, saying, "I can do it, so can you!". However, in my opinion, his story is a bit extreme and is basically about changing his bad habits. I feel like his story isolates me and makes me feel like this book isn't for me.

Goldstein seems to bring in all of the conventional wisdom and suggestions about depression into one place. I've seen suggestions like his before online on websites, such as psychologytoday.com and psychcentral.com. I'm not sure that he brings any new information, but he does give you things to think about. He does use science to back up the reasons behind his suggestions, but I sometimes find the explanations of the science to not be very detailed, at least from a scientist's standpoint. I suppose that if I didn't have any knowledge of depression or the brain at all, Goldstein's information would be quite helpful and empowering, to know its my brain and not me as a person that's causing problems.

Perhaps one of the most powerful things that Goldstein mentions is "Neurons that wire together, fire together," though he mentions this a bunch of times to the point where I want to roll eyes at the phrase. He also says we need to create space between our thoughts and ourselves and realize that we are not the problem and our thoughts are. This idea is very prevalent is cognitive-behavioral therapy, which I am completely positively for this type of therapy. In general cognitive-behavioral therapy very much encourages you to look at your thoughts and then think of evidence that supports or disproves your thoughts. The point is to show you that your thoughts are not reality. Goldstein's idea of mindfulness is somewhat similar, but he doesn't directly tell you to think of evidence. Instead, he takes a indirect approach and suggests that you shouldn't take your thoughts at face value all the time. Yes, but he doesn't necessarily offer evidence why, only that when we create space between our thoughts and ourselves, we see that our thoughts are not reality. In my opinion, cognitive-behavioral therapy does a much better job at this than mindfulness.

To further improve on mindfulness, Goldstein suggests that we practice self-compassion. One of the best examples of this is his tactic to invite yourself to feel something and forgive yourself for setbacks. This is my favorite self-compassion tactic. His general idea of self-compassion is to place your hand our heart, admit to whatever your feeling, center yourself by breathing, and then let you. It was quite disappointing that Goldstein only gave us that one idea of self-compassion. On my end, I view self-compassion as drinking warm tea that feels up my body and accepting whatever I'm feeling. My point is that Goldstein is right that self-compassion helps us to build resiliency, and that's something that we need. However, I feel like there's gotta be something more than just placing your hand on your heart. That's weird to me.

Besides mindfulness and self-compassion, Goldstein also encourages people to engage in play, purposeful living, mastery, and connecting, which if you look at the research, isn't just for overcoming depression but also necessary for building a successful life. All of his ideas here are valid, and they're similar to cognitive-behavioral therapy suggestions. For instance, he suggests creating a list of your daily activities and then changing out activities that are neutral to activities for playing and mastering, which is the exact same thing that CBT does. In CBT, it's called the daily activity diary. The point of becoming mindful of your activities is to help you break the depression loop, but here's why I have a slight problem with that. Some of these things I started doing naturally after I visited a psychotherapist for a while. Once I started coming out of the severe depression state, I naturally started playing again. So, even if you swap out neutral chores for happy play times, you still may find that you don't feel any joy in what you used to do. If that's the case, go see a therapist. Stat. Do not wait. Do not procrastinate. You need help. Reach for it.

Part 1 details the bad habits behind depression while Part 2 explains the steps and theories you'll need to escape the depression loop. Part 3 is a "toolkit" that gives you actual physical things to do to put Part 2 into practice.

Goldstein's book seems to be more on the "art" side of psychology rather than the "science" side. And that is not a bad thing, at all, despite the "rationalized" world that we live in. However, to me, it feels to be lacking of something that I can't quite put my finger on. I much prefer CBT and would recommend Overcoming Low Self-Esteem by Melanie Fennell. She uses some CBT techniques to help people overcome low self-esteem, which is a symptom of depression. I think Uncovering Happiness should be used in conjunction with other self-help books or with therapy to help you overcome depression. It might be a matter of personality, and since I enjoy thinking in a scientific way, CBT works for me. If you prefer feeling over perceiving, you may enjoy Goldstein's book more than a CBT book.

In general, you have to recognize that depression is different for everyone. The causes of depression can be anything from genetics to low self-esteem to even emotional abuse or neglect. Because of this, everyone is going to need a slightly different method to beat the illness. American self-help books don't seem to address this, and they make you think you can cure yourself by just changing your habits, which is false in some cases. I particularly like the Australian way of diagnosing and treating depression at Black Dog Institute. They figure out the underlying cause of your depression and create a treatment plan based on that cause. So, basically, this book is not a stand alone treatment for depression, and you shouldn't blame yourself if it doesn't work for you. It gives a lot to think about, but it may not actually provide a cure. I highly recommend combining this book with other treatments if you are using it to treat your depression. And I cannot reiterate enough that overcoming depression and discovering "happiness" takes a lot of time, a lot. This is where forgiving yourself and self-compassion really come into play, and if anything, perhaps Goldstein's book will make you believe you're worth the wait and patience needed to finally feel depression release its shackles that are suffocating you.

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Worth a read to add reinforcement to the knowledge that breathing practices, mindfulness, self-compasson, and playfulness all have roles to play in the world of natural anti-depressants. I felt the book was somewhat uneven in terms of usefulness with Part 1 of greater interest to me.

Quotations:

From Victor Frankl: "Between stimulus and response there is a space, and in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom. (5).

"The fact is, we are not our thoughts; not even the ones that tell us were are" (33).

"Christakis and Fowler also found that happiness spreads by three degrees of separation, and each additional person in your life who is feeling well boosts your chances of feeling well by 9 per cent" (204).

"Depression is more prevalent than we realize, and the World Health Organization predicts it will be the second greatest killer behind heart disease by 2020" (247).

[Julie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eh, I am not a big reader of self-help books. This was recommended to me so I felt compelled to read it. (This is similar to my compulsion to have to finish reading every book I begin. I am trying to change that, though. Life is too short to spend it on books I'm not enjoying).

I read/skimmed this book. Goldstein inserts himself a lot into the book, which I did not find helpful and instead took me out of what he was trying to impart to the reader. The author doesn't have to keep constantly telling the reader that it worked for him - ergo it will work for you. Hmmm, ok. Seems a little self-absorbed. I was reminded of Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In. She, like Goldstein, took her very specific life circumstances and acted like they were applicable to everyone. They aren't.

Another issue I had with this book is that it's not really about actual clinical depression. It's more about situational depression or just a general sense of "I feel kind of crappy." He kept mentioning specific reasons a person would be unhappy - no friends, overworked, money issues etc - and then would write about how to get out of your funk over these issues. Well, what if everything is great in your life and you feel dead and empty inside? What then? He doesn't go there at all.

The suggestions he makes are all fine and all things I had already read/heard about. Meditate! Keep a gratitude journal! Do yoga! Make more time for friends! Don't be so hard on yourself! Yadda yadda yadda. All fine suggestions but nothing new or earthshaking. It reminded me of a self help book about losing weight that suggests cutting calories, exercising more & cooking more at home. Uh, yeah, everyone already knows those things. An obese person is not going to say to themselves "MY GOD! Eat fewer calories! I have never heard such brilliant advice! I will do so forthwith!" They know that bit of advice. The problem is more of motivation and perseverance. We know WHAT to do. HOW do we make ourselves do these things? That is the million dollar question. And one that Goldstein does not address.

[Dido · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good, if not in-depth, summary, of the negative and self-reinforcing thinking style that characterizes depression (the "depression loop") and how to get out of it using five basic strategies: mindfulness, self-compassion, purpose, play, and mastery. The links to audio/video meditation links on his site are a nice addition to the text material.

[K · Rating 3 out of 5]

Worthwhile book that offers some excellent worksheets and practices for those who suffer from depression. A formal review is forthcoming on PsychCentral.net.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very nice tie in to all of the coursework I'm completing in Mindfulness and Positive Psychology.

[Déwi · Rating 3 out of 5]

A worthwhile read.

[Evelyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Discussed neuroscience and how our brains react to depression and how we can use various methods to notice, understand and move out of depressive loops.

I enjoy the application of real practice examples of how certain methods were used on various scenarios and the individuality that is involved in this process.

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read a lot of self-help books, but none of them have spoken to me the way Uncovering Happiness has. I really feel that reading it has made a difference in my life.

[Vs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good, easy to follow tips to overcome depression and anxiety

[Angie H · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars I only listened to the abridged version which was about 1.5 hours. he had a couple take aways so it was not a complete waste of time.

[KP · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has so many practical things that a person can do to get happier and stay happier. Who doesn’t want THAT? It has to do with training and changing one’s brain to overcome a negative attitude, basically. I love that idea; it is so hopeful! The new, general term for brain change is “neuroplasticity.” It’s a life changing concept, and the book is such a down to earth way to approach it. That’s what I like about Elisha Goldstein in general: he is so down to earth and practical. Throughout the book he is teaching us how to overcome our brain’s natural, proven negativity bias. His main focus is mindfulness, but he breaks it down and expands it into so many positive, interesting techniques and ideas that accompany mindfulness.

One of my favorite things about the book is that he expands on educator Carol Dweck’s idea of a “learning mindset.” I read Dweck’s book, Mindset, a while ago, and I really liked her winning concept of helping students to see learning as a continuum not based solely on an end result or a grade or a performance standard. Mistakes are almost encouraged or celebrated because it is the journey and the learning that is important and not the grade. Now Elisha Goldstein is taking this idea out of the realm of education and applying it to personal growth. Happiness is a journey. Bumps along the road are inevitable and can be celebrated as choice points and opportunities to grow. This book has many techniques to help us. That is the mindful way to “Uncovering Happiness.”

[Justyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Uncovering Happiness isn't your positive psych book on this seemingly idealized elusive emotion. Rather the book addresses the power of mindfulness and self-compassion in improving our lives and overcoming depression. Goldstein calls these tools natural antidepressants (not to be confused with medication) that we have the potential within ourselves. Unlike medication this route gives us more agency and control. He describes seven steps in which we can overcome depression chapter by chapter. First we must understand the depression loop, then become aware of the bad habits that keep us stuck. Then we move onto the five antidepressants beginning with mindfulness, then self-compassion, purpose, play, and finally mastery. This is a well-researched, and accessible book for a person unfamiliar with psych concepts, but also an accessible framework for a CBT and/or ACT therapist to incorporate with clients. Although it's catered towards depression, you can apply any of these steps and concepts if you are feeling stuck in your life in some way. Self-compassion and mindfulness can be life changing for people, if practiced with intention rather than a bandage to improve the moment. We often cause our own suffering in our heads, but on the flip side we can also evoke experiences of warmth, love and healing with self-compassion. Overall, Uncovering Happiness is a pretty accessible read with a clear framework that fans of CBT and ACT will enjoy.

[Inder · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's nothing really groundbreaking here, but this is such a useful and lovely little book. The tone of the book is gentle and positive, and the mindfulness techniques are easy to incorporate in your everyday life. Again, nothing you can't find elsewhere, but I am glad I grabbed this when I saw it at the second-hand store, it was a worthwhile read.

[Camille]

DNF @ 8%
Audio, read by someone with a boring voice who isn't the author.

I'm not the target audience here, and I didn't want to keep listening to something that holds zero interest for me bc I know these things already and many other books I recommend to clients aren't as boring at the outset and cover the same material.

[Gabriel Salvador · Rating 5 out of 5]

Elisha Goldstein shares with us a scientific approach that allows us not only learn how to have a happy life but to find purpose, to have a growth mindset, to threat you gently, to undesrstand how our feelings work and how to get out from a depression loop.

[Sheela Word · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. There are some useful tips here for dealing with the vicissitudes of life, but I can't see a truly depressed person reading through this and deriving much benefit. It might be helpful for someone who was already in recovery.

[T. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this and it is a hopeful read. It offers practical advice although it is still difficult to implement if you aren't getting help or are in the thick of it.

[Allan Laal · Rating 2 out of 5]

just parroting popular positive psychology studies, skip to the end to get good knowledge and practical tools from the authors own experience

[Valeria Magoni · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too long and repetitive.

[Martu Gharzia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Buen libro con diferentes pasos y metodos practicos para salir del bucle depresivo y crear un cerebro antidepresivo que pueda ser mas sereno y compasivo.

[Clareokelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book was very practical. I would like all my kids to read it.

[✨ Anna ✨ | ReadAllNight]

Humana rec.

[Oliver Gonzalez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Muy buenas herramientas para centrarse, y romper con los bucles depresivos 🙌🏻

[Yyy keys · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cuando lo empecé a leer, me pareció brillante y hasta se lo recomende a mi psicóloga y la verdad si aprendí a practicar Mindfulness
Esto fue hace como ocho años

[Angelika]

recognising depression loops and bad habits and overcoming with 5 natural depression remedies of mindfulness, self compassion, purpose, play and mastery.

[Leigh Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sensible advice for mildly depressed people.

Goldstein falls firmly in the camp of "anti-depressants are over-prescribed," so approach with caution in the RA interview and when considering books for yourself. Readers who have already tried all the non-chemical interventions and still feel lousy may feel worse after reading a book that basically argues that you can be happier without drugs. On top of that, while Goldstein is a doctor, he is not YOUR doctor, so stick to what you and your doctor have worked out.

That being said, people who are mildly depressed may benefit from the advice presented here. What's most helpful is that Goldstein explains the science behind WHY all the things he suggests works. Most readers already know that positive thinking, meditation, etc. can help you feel happier, but this book explains the science behind how that works. Five "natural anti-depressants" are explored at length; the most interesting of these, because it is not often covered in books like this, is the growth/learning mindset. Most people go through life with a performance mindset, and measure themselves based on how much they achieve or how close to perfect they get; this is the best way to make yourself sad, per Goldstein, and he offers the growth/learning mindset as an alternative to create positive feedback loops to make you happier. If everything is a learning experience, mistakes are easier to get over, and you're less likely to beat on yourself for them. A nifty theory worth putting into practice.

The book also contains a "natural anti-depressant toolkit," a series of activities and practices designed to help you feel better; there is also a companion website with resources available. For people who want the tl;dr version, there are even a few chapters at the back that summarize the high points in both short form and VERY short form. Book group discussion questions and a thorough notes section round out the text.

The issue of whether or not to take anti-depressants can be a really touchy one, so tread lightly in the RA interview and remember: you're not a therapist. Present the book as it is and either move forward or pull back depending on the response you get. People looking for books on depression might be too embarrassed to talk to you about it, though, so a short "staff pick" note posted on the front with an explanation (example: recommended for mildly depressed people only) might be the way to go. Recommended for larger public libraries' mental health collections; an optional purchase for all others.

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been living with Uncovering Happiness for about two months now, and I foresee a long term relationship. Since I purchased the book for my Nook, I have begun every day with it. At first, each day I re-read material from several previous days then I read some new pages, highlighting and writing notes. When I reached Part 3: The Naturally Antidepressant Tool Kit, I switched over to journaling. I'll work in Part 3 when I have finished reviewing parts 1 and 2. Everything in this book makes sense to me. The strategies offered to keep me from falling into the depression loop are all based on solid neuroscience. It is pulling together all the work to be solidly happy that I have been doing over years. Those who know me, see that I am basically a pretty happy person, but few know that I've had bouts of depression. This book is helping me to make my life better! I can't remember ever being as devoted to learning about a topic as I have been to this anti-depression study.

[Karen]

6 Science-Backed Spirituality Books That Help Build A Positive Mindset

Uncovering Happiness is a book about a more compassionate approach to dealing with the ever-expanding number of psychological ailments that pervade the modern world.

Depression and anxiety are at an all-time high, and many doctors try to solve these psychological ailments with prescriptions alone, which can sometimes act as nothing more than short-term solutions for long-term problems.

In this book, author Elisha Goldstein pulls back the curtain and helps us uncover our happiness — not with pills and prescriptions — but with self-compassion and mindfulness. The best part? Dr. Goldstein’s got the research to prove the efficacy of this treatment for long-term health, happiness, and well-being.

[Jocelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listening to the audio book and it is awesome. I only have time in the morning when I am getting ready for work and it is full of tips and amazing ideas that really help. I am going to buy this book and read it many many times.

July 9 2015. My copy of the book has arrived and it looks amazing! It has pictures, is the perfect size and smells like paper. I still listen to the audio book but a paper copy feels more real.