Ten Million Aliens: A Journey Through the Entire Animal Kingdom

by Simon Barnes

Life on planet earth is not weirder than we imagine. It's weirder than we are capable of imagining. And we're all in it together: humans, blue whales, rats, birds of paradise, ridiculous numbers of beetles, molluscs the size of a bus, the sexual gladiators of slugs, bdelliod rotifers who haven't had sex for millions of years and creatures called water bears: you can boil them, freeze them and fire them off into space without killing them

We're all part of the animal kingdom, appearing in what Darwin called 'endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful'. In this breathtakingly audacious book Simon Barnes has brought us all together, seeking not what separates us but what unites us. He takes us white-water rafting through the entire animal kingdom in a book that brings in deep layers of arcane knowledge, the works of Darwin and James Joyce, Barnes's own don't-try-this-at-home adventures in the wild, David Attenborough and Sherlock Holmes.

Genres: Science, Nonfiction, Nature, Animals, Natural History, Biology, History

480 pages, Hardcover

First published March 1, 2013

Reviews

[Shelley · Rating 1 out of 5]

Stephen Fry promised a "compulsively readable" and "endlessly thrilling" book; the cartoon pictures promised me quirky animal facts. This book delivered neither. I had to give up at page 98 because it felt too much like a waste of time to keep reading.

If you're into mundane anecdotes of Barnes' life and travels -- great. He does this a lot. They're not even interesting, e.g. "There were a lot of Italian clients passing through the bush camp I was living in, and for them it was essential to find the right adjective... a hyena was always: che brutto! How ugly!" Imagine a tangent like this on every page. And the thing is: I like travel stories. <-- The girl on the camel is not someone who thinks we should all just stay home. But Barnes manages to find the dullest parts of these stories to regurgitate.

If you actually wanted to learn about animals -- good luck. It was immensely frustrating trying to find anything of substance. I love learning new things, but it was exhausting trawling through the tangents trying to find any factual information.

Look, as an experiment I will flip to a random page. Okay, 295:

"Shells! That stroke of genius from the molluscs, that hard and lovely thing that endures for hundreds, even for thousands of years after the soft creature itself has died. with my hands scooped together I could pick up dozens of them, generations of them. Tower shells and top shells and periwinkles and whelks and mussels and oysters and razor shells: a wild museum, almost imploring me to fill my pockets and my suitcase with these gritty, lovely trophies: part of the living world I could pick up and revel in and do so without hurting, still less killing, a single creature. Shells touched my heart with a rare sharpness. I could gaze on them and touch them and wonder at them and look them up in books and -- glorious, glorious thing -- name them."

Barnes, unfortunately, babbles on. Did we learn anything new from that half paragraph? Did it really benefit our lives to now know of Barnes' obsession with "wondering" at shells? The entire book is like this. The pointlessness of it all has driven me kind of mad, to be honest.

I thought I would love this book. It was entirely disappointing.

[Mark · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really looking forward to reading this; a book that promised to explore the weird and wonderful ways that a myriad of creatures have evolved to cope with the situations that they find themselves in.

So it was even more disappointing that the book didn't live up to it's grand idea. When the animals and their evolutionary traits were mentioned, it was legitimately an interesting read, however, unfortunately, these parts didn't happen as often as I would hope they would. Instead you're treated to anecdotal stories "So, I was getting drunk with the Kenyan Rugby Team....", of which, soon become dull for two reasons. Firstly, they often don't have all that much to do with the animal in question, and two, increasingly become a series of 'look who I've met' or 'look what I've done' humble-brags which serve no purpose. For much the same reason, the literary allusions soon became boring 'check me out, I've read lots of Joyce!'.


All in all, it wasn't a bad book by any stretch, however, it was a big disappointment.

[Tweedledum · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simon Barnes has composed an animal compendium like no other. Alternating between vertebrates and invertebrates, each short chapter features a tantalising glimpse of an animal family, genus or species with factoids thrown together to shock, surprise, and delight the reader. Barnes acts on the reader's imagination like a conjuror delighting in his magic box and salting his factoids with a liberal handful of quotes from favourite books or films and glimpses into his colourful personal close encounters . Reading the book feels a little like being a dinner guest chez Barnes and really longing for the host to keep going with his stories all night long.

Within these pages you will also find the delightful and extra-ordinary story of Charles Darwin's beetlemania and the rather painful consequence of this. That was before he got started on Barnacles and Worms!

The best books leave one longing for more. This book certainly did that as well as sending me off googling Ctenophora, Coleoptera and last but not least the humble weevil : a creature I long ago consigned to the category of Most Boring Insect. Clearly I was both wrong and right!

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am familiar with Simon Barnes' style of nature writing and I like it. I owe a great deal to his How to Be A Bad Birdwatcher.

There are wonderful books and TV programmes which have glossy images to go with great narrative. Barnes seems to specialise in writing which comes with the most minimal of visual input (although what there is here is captivating in its simplicity) He is no less successful in his impact on the reader for that. I loved his spiral narrative, short chapters alternately about vertebrates and invertebrates. together forming a paean to evolution and to the natural world.

I enjoyed his anecdotes about the more exotic places he has been, partly because I am very happy for him to have done it instead of me but can see that some might be irritated by them. I enjoyed too all the literary, high and low, references: Modesty Blaise, James Bond, Finnegan's Wake, Withnail & I which are used to good effect.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

TEN MILLION ALIENS: A JOURNEY THROUGH THE ENTIRE ANIMAL KINGDOM BY SIMON BARNES
More info about this book at powells.com (new window)
Fact: Octopuses are the only known invertebrates to use tools, arranging coconut shells to create a hiding place.

"[F]rom so simple a beginning endless forms most beautiful and most wonderful have been, and are being, evolved." -- Charles Darwin, The Origin of Species

Ten Million Aliens: A Journey Through the Entire Animal Kingdom, by British journalist and novelist Simon Barnes, is a delightful collection of short essays extolling the weirdly wonderful natural world. In the manner of your favorite high school biology teacher, Barnes employs cheeky wit, fervor, and plenty of pop culture (Beckham, Harry Potter, Woody Allen, James Bond, Dr. Who, The Beatles) and literary references (Kipling, Joyce, Whitman, Voltaire, Euclid, haiku, King Lear) to transform zoology and evolutionary theory ("the eternal jazz musician, making it up as it goes along") into pure fun for us laypeople. Covering the entire Animal Kingdom seems a daunting task, but Barnes turns it into a romp.

Fact: 25% of all known life forms are beetles.

This representative example of essay titles gives you a clue of how much fun this is going to be: "Sex and the Single Slug," "Lemurs and Archbishops," "The Profile of Winnie-the-Pooh," "Infernal Agony of Gelatinous Zooplankton," "The Nausea of Charles Darwin," "The Kalahari Ferrari," "James Bond and the Kraken," "A Miraculous Draught of Newts," "Axis of Weevil." See what I mean? And don't disregard the footnotes -- Barnes is fond of them and they often contain quotes from Watership Down, The Wind in the Willows, Finnegan's Wake, The Great Gatsby, and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Illustrations, charmingly simple line drawings in elaborately carved frames, are scattered throughout the book, beginning with Darwin and concluding with the author on the back jacket flap, adding to the whimsy.

Fact: The fastest bird is the peregrine, clocked at 200 mph in a dive.

Once upon a time, almost all life on earth consisted of single cells.

[The] great diversification of living things began around 550 million years ago, with the Cambrian Explosion. [...] The rest of the evolution of the Animal Kingdom has been a series of refinements and developments on this single brilliant idea of multicellular life.

Above all, Barnes wants you to understand that we, too, are animals (kingdom: animal, class: mammal, order: primates, family: hominids, sub-family: hominini, genus: homo, species: sapiens) -- one among many and not really so different from the others. "The meaning of life is life and the purpose of life is to become an ancestor. All forms of life are equally valid: the beautiful, the bizarre, the horrific, the obscure and the glorious." Barnes wants you to feel the kinship and "celebrate... the virtuosity of nature."

Fact: Glass sponges can live to be 23,000 years old.

I often laughed and furiously texted friends with new-found facts and figures about octopuses (do not call them octopi -- Barnes explains why in a footnote having to do with Greek and Latin and... yeah), the New Zealand short-tailed bat ("which drops to the ground and scurries about like a mouse wearing a cape") and naked mole rats ("like a pair of teeth animated by a pink sausage"). That last bit about the naked mole rats caused me to aspirate hot tea during a fit of laughter. While humor abounds, Barnes is also capable of producing a gorgeous turn of phrase. Describing a species of Ctenophora: "One species is an absurdly lovely thing called Venus's girdle: more like a piece of abstract elegance designed to recall a wing than a living creature." Describing hummingbirds: "jewels that hang in the air as if air were something you could perch on."

Fact: Some species of starfish can intentionally detach an arm from which a whole new starfish will grow.

Barnes is having great fun in Ten Million Aliens, and he takes perverse pleasure in lulling readers into a false sense of Kumbaya. He tells us of the cleaner fish and the dance they do to "advertise their services" to much larger fish. The larger fish appreciates the service performed by the cleaner fish. When the cleaner fish's job is complete they both swim happily away. Then he tells you of something called a sabre-toothed blenny. It looks like a cleaner fish -- it even dances like a cleaner fish. The big fish thinks "Oh look! Bath time." Then the sabre-toothed blenny takes a big bite of big fish flesh and takes off. Peaceable Kingdom, indeed.

Fact: The aardvark is a singularity: the only member of its genus, family, and order. (We aren't unique -- there are more than 300 species of primates -- but aardvarks are.)

Barnes indulges in joyous tangents, bad puns, and free-association (riffing on Blake and flatworms), and then he patiently explains revisionist taxonomy. I confess to my mind wandering after too many worms -- especially giant parasitic worms. A few of the micro-micro essays strike me as extraneous but then how much can you really say about placozoan? The organization of the essays jumps back and forth rather a lot -- just as you're getting into a fascinating platypus the author returns to worms. He enjoys giving the blue to creationists and Richard Dawkins, alike. Barnes does have intermittent fits of rambling but I am willing to forgive this on the basis that it is great fun to watch his brain work.

Fact: The longest animal is a ribbon worm: 177 feet.

The answer to the classic question is art imitates life, and quite poorly -- what puny imaginations we have compared with necessity. I highly recommend Ten Million Aliens. It is a book for picnics and treehouses and diving platforms in the middle of lakes; also good to read to children at bedtime. You'll be charmed by the writing and enchanted by the elegance of the world around you. I'll close with a word from the author: "In this book I have constantly stressed the human continuity with our fellow species: and if there is a moral to be drawn from the continuity, it is to do with respect, compassion and generosity, and even love."

Fact: The blue whale has a tongue the size of an elephant.

Ten Million Aliens: A Journey Through the Entire Animal Kingdom by Simon Barnes
Atria Books/Marble Arch Press
978-1476730356
480 pages

Originally published in Book Slut.

[Patrick Book · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is easily one of the most interesting books I have ever read. The notion of writing about every single type of animal on the planet at first seemed laughably ludicrous; once I started reading Barnes' prose, at turns dry/factual, pugnacious, absurdly hilarious, and surprisingly poignant, I was thoroughly won over. He discusses every phylum and family imaginable and cherry-picks the most unusual (hence the 'alien' of the title) examples to give the chapters colour. Hence, the lengthy discussion of the female hyena's false penis, the terrifying mastication of the sex organs of the slug, and the species of vampiric animals that actually feed others of their kind who cannot feed themselves.

But the most striking element of the book is Barnes' continual assertion that these weird and wild examples of the larger animal kingdom serve to underscore that humans are not necessarily the most unique or interesting animal because we are at the top of the food chain, and that we are genetically unable to comprehend the enormity of the types of life forms we share this planet with. In doing so he presents a string of moral quandaries for the reader to consider. The most powerful is perhaps the chapter "The Eden fish," which discusses cleaner fish and their role in the undersea world.

He talks about the remarkable peace that is generated by cleaner fish, how their ministrations to clean and groom predators result in a mutual trust and advantage; despite the presence of predatory fish, the area inhabited by cleaner fish is calm and free from predation. Peace has broken out in a small corner of the earth, and in a completely natural way that no party is willing to break.

However, there is also a creature called the sabre-toothed blenny. To quote Barnes at length:

"This is a fish that looks exactly like a cleaner fish and even does the same advertising dance as a cleaner fish. But when the bigger fish stretches itself out to be groomed, the sabre-toothed blenny darts in and grabs a mouthful of healthy fish and shoots off at high speed -- thereby creating as big a problem for moralists and creationists as it does for the big fish.

So let me briefly assume the role of moralist. The first moral is that there is no moral. The second moral is that anyone who seeks moral lessons for human life in the wild world needs to be somewhat selective, or better still, blind. The third moral I will leave to James Bond. Here is an extract from the fifth chapter of "Goldfinger": 'A second reason why Bond enjoyed the long vacuum of night duty was that it gave him time to get on with a project he had been toying with for more than a year -- a handbook of all secret methods of unarmed combat. It was to be called "Stay Alive!"' And that, in two words, is the only real moral lesson taught by the wild world. Stay alive, so that you might breed and become an ancestor. Only once you have done so is it suitable to die like salmon in the upper reaches of the rivers they were spawned in, their biological destiny fulfilled.

As humans we need a moral code to live by. We will spend the rest of our existence as a species arguing what that code should be and where our moral duties lie - but we won't argue nearly so much about whether or not a moral code is necessary. Unless you are a philosopher or a sociopath, you accept without needing to be told that we, as individuals and as a society, need a moral code.

The wild world does not tell us that humans can, if they wish, abandon all moral codes, nor does the wild world teach us what that moral code should be. Human wives do not eat the heads of their husbands as a matter of course; nor is there any compelling reason for humans to model their society on a termites' nest, on an underwater cleaning station, or for that matter, on the sabre-toothed blenny. In this book I have constantly stressed the human continuity with our fellow species: and if there is a moral to be drawn from that continuity, it is to do with respect, compassion and generosity, and even love, not untinged by a certain self-interest. But this continuity does not require us to use selective animal behaviours as handy moral fables to stress certain ideas of what humans should be and how we should live our lives. That simply doesn't work."

If that doesn't get you, I sure don't know what will.

[PDXReader · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books I envision reading a chapter or two in bed and exclaiming to my trying-to-sleep spouse: "Listen to this! Did you know the naked mole rat is one of only two mammals that live in colonies with a queen like bees do?"

The chapters are extremely short - two to six pages only - which means it really lends itself to serial reading; it's not a book you'd probably want to read straight through. I'm not exaggerating at all when I say I learned something new on nearly every page, too, and the only way to retain that information is to pick it up in small doses.

The author is unabashedly pro-evolution, and makes no bones about his feelings toward creationists, so if you're easily offended by this point of view you're probably better off avoiding this one.

[Anetq · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is exactly what it says: A journey through the entire animal kingdom - and a fun trip it is! A great mix of anecdotes from a life of watching animals in exotic places (and Surrey). A fascinating look into life itself in all it's unimaginably weird shapes and forms - as he points out repeatedly: Life on Planet Earth is not weirder than we can imagine, it's weirder than we are able to imagine! ..and chapter after chapter the animal kingdom keeps proving the truth in that.
And then you learn amazing stuff that will make your friends tell you you're being geekier than usual, but who cares: Even if you knew that you can freeze or dry a water bear without killing it, did you realize "fish" does not exist or that penguins fly under water or that octopuses is the correct plural and that they like to play... There's a weird and wonderful world out there, this book has it all.

*Also including the not so wonderful bits, but great for puzzling creationists (should you come across one of those in an exotic place), like the worm Loa Loa that lives only in the eyeball of children, blinding them in the proces. Have them explain why God created that one?

[Elentarri · Rating 2 out of 5]

Bathroom reader. This is a book entirely of short (2-4 pages) semi-biographical, semi-science factual snippets about a variety of animals (no plants included) from the smallest to the largest. To be entirely honest, this book started getting rather boring after the first 50 pages. It's pretty good if you read a one or two chapters at a time, but if you read several one after the other it gets very monotonous - hence the bathroom reader designation.

[Penny · Rating 3 out of 5]

Occasionally felt a bit bogged down with this - one of those books you sometimes have to read the same sentence over and over to try and make sense of it.
It consists of very short chapters and I probably should have dipped in and out rather than attempt to read the whole thing through. But as I can only read one book at a time (yes, yes, I know) it had to be all or nothing.

[Nancy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this, I really did. The typeface made my head hurt, for starters. I don't know why? Too big maybe?

And I couldn't get a grip on his writing style, too all over the place.

I made it to page 123, and then skipped to read about "fish". Then gave up.

[David Evans · Rating 5 out of 5]

Books about the animal kingdom are plentiful and I have enjoyed those of those estimable Richards, Dawkins and Fortey, believing they were the summit of popular guides to the subject (they included plants as well as I recall). The horse-loving Simon Barnes has come up with a masterpiece of an introduction to the (literally) unimaginable variety of animal life on land, in the sea and in the skies. Inspiring, authoritative, amusing and with personal anecdotes aplenty, the dozens of brief chapters enlighten and enthral in equal measure. Clearly he is living the life many should have liked; globe trotting to observe and report upon the best that the sporting and animal kingdoms have to offer. He quotes his heroes widely, from James Joyce (Finnegan's Wake is an inspiration) to Charles Darwin, Stephen Jay Gould, Gerald Durrell, Ian Fleming and Woody Allen who are called upon to illustrate our own species' incredulity and incomprehension at the infinite methods that nature has "devised" in order to Stay Alive (which is James Bond's title for the handbook he is working at while pursuing Goldfinger) and reach the ultimate goal of all living things - to become an ancestor. I find I am pleased that Barnes, Durrell and I share an atavistic distrust of large, hairy spiders. The style is informative, informal and cleverly gives you just sufficient information to be amazed before changing the subject. He avoids the potential tedium of trawling through unfamiliar phyla by alternating chapters between vertebrates and invertebrates so you are never more than a page or so from fresh look at more familiar animal although no creature is considered in any way superior or indeed less amazing than another. In fact the book finishes, not with Homo sapiens but with the lungfish as the overall representative of the marvel that is life.
I actually highlighted a mere 45 passages that made me think, Wow! The whole book is actually a series of highlights, even the footnotes. Take this as an example within the chapter on terns: "But that's not what I actually look at when I see a top horse. I see a sort of elasticity: a stretchiness of movement that indicates the trained-to-the-minute athleticism of the thoroughbred racehorse. It's not so much an analysable quality as a vibe. That's not a horse, THAT's a horse." [familiarity with films of Paul Hogan is assumed] "So what is the difference between a common tern and an Arctic tern? Both are lovely and graceful . The Arctic has shorter legs, longer tail-streamers, no black tip to it's bill, translucent wings. When you see an Arctic tern [flying] and you say, THAT's a tern, then you've got the idea."
This book will make you look at the most humble creatures, even houseflies, in a new and wholly respectful way. Simon Barnes has pulled off the trick of enthusing the reader to feel as intelligent and well-informed as he is.

[Paul Pessolano · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Ten Million Aliens”, by Simon Barnes, published by Marble Arch Press.

Category – Biology/Animals Publication Date – February 17, 2015

No, this is not a book about little green men from Mars. This book is about us (Homo Sapiens) and all the creatures that surround us. Ten Million, by the way, is a conservative estimate of the creatures that inhabit the earth.

Although Barnes does not take us through every living creature, he does give a general outline of each class of animal. There is information on creatures that we see everyday and those that we hardly see at all, and those that can only be seen through an electron microscope.

One will marvel at the ordinary and be amazed at the unusual. You will be made aware of animals you have never seen and probably will never see. There are animals as big as the Blue Whale and as small as the Bryozoans, which measure in at .02 inches. There is also the Super Quaker Worm which has no body cavity, no gut, no respiratory system, no excretory system, no brain, and no gonads. One wonders what purpose they serve in the animal kingdom.

One must caution the reader that this book is best suited for those in the biology field or those who have a deep interest in the animals, large and very small, that inhabit the earth. One must also have a good dictionary handy when reading this book as some of the words need an explanation.

There are many interesting facts throughout the book and Barnes uses his wit to keep the reader entertained.

[Daeus · Rating 5 out of 5]

A caveat: this book is basically a collection of many, very short stories (usually 2-4 pages long) about Simon Barnes's experiences travelling and pondering about nature. I think it is best read over many small bursts rather than too many pages at once. The second half is definitely better than the first, but maybe I just grew accustomed to it. You could read it in random order, but there are a few underlying themes that progress and became more clear to me as I went on.

That all being said, after reading it piece by piece it felt like nothing I've ever read before (not a book, magazine, journal, blog post, newspaper or anything else). This book was so fascinating it literally made me stop and wonder about life more times than I can count. Some of the stories/descriptions are completely mind-boggling, and create a sense of genuine humility and wonder at the complexity and vastness of the natural world. To quote Stephen Fry on the cover: "This is a book that I will treasure for ever."

Here are a few chapter titles I will randomly open and share:
- "Death by frog"
- "No sex please, we're bdelloids"
- "Second Innings"
- "Flying Flashers"
- "Flatworm, flatworm, burning bright."
- "Pocket dynamo"

[Peter James Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

http://peterjamesthomas.com/2014/11/1...

Having enjoyed Simon's sport journalism (particularly his insightful and amusing commentary on Test Match cricket) for many years, I was interested to learn about this new book via his web-site. As an avid consumer of pop-science literature and already being aware of Simon's considerable abilities as a writer, I was keen to read Ten Million Aliens. To be brief, I would recommend the book to anyone with an enquiring mind, an interest in the natural world and its endless variety, or just an affection for good science writing. My only sadness was that the number of phyla eventually had to come to an end. I laughed in places, I was better informed than before reading a chapter in others and the autobiographical anecdotes and other general commentary on the state of our stewardship of the planet added further dimensions.

I look forward to Simon's next book.

Peter

[BookBrowse · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The book is informative and thought-provoking and sure to please those who are looking to expand their knowledge about the world around them.The chapters are relatively self-contained - that is, they don't build on one another and there's no storyline – so it's easy to pick it up and read any part at any time. Also, the book is very densely packed with information; I don't exaggerate when I say I learned something new and fascinating on nearly every page that I wanted to burn into my memory, and at least for me that was an impossible task for a single read-through. Generally "densely packed with facts" would equate to dull and dry, but the author's familiar tone and engaging style kept things moving along at a good clip and it never got tedious; there's simply a lot of information presented over a very small space." - Kim Kovacs, BookBrowse.com. Full review at: https://www.bookbrowse.com/reviews/in...

[Ricki Ward · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hardcore fans of science writing, particularly those with an interest in biology, will no doubt enjoy Ten Million Aliens, though your average reader may quickly lose interest. Ten Million Aliens does an excellent job of describing how organisms of the animal kingdom are organized and classified. It is exactly as the blurb says...life on this planet is weirder than we could ever imagine! The science nerd within me gives Ten Million Aliens 3 1/2 stars.


Disclaimer: This book has been provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Rich · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ok, I'm not giving up too early on books anymore, remember! So, I read almost halfway through, even though I wanted to quit very early in the book. The writing is mostly anecdotal, but I tried to see if there would be some good animal facts...and occasionally there are. Just not enough to make it worthwhile to keep reading.

If you want quick hitter blurbs to read on mass transit, or in the bathroom, or for 30 seconds before you sleep, go for it. I wanted something more substantial.

[Dianne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good bathroom reading but not really serious information. And at least one major error - referring to the author of The Accidental Tourist as MARY Tyler, when her name is Anne Tyler. Editors??

[Peter Tillman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Skimmed a bit, but the book didn't catch my interest at all, to my surprise.. The other 2-star reviews here are worth a look, if you're considering it. Not for me!

[Jarvo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book with a few simple but compelling ideas which are given ample demonstration through multiple repetition. Firstly the variety of forms of animal life on earth are far more wonderful and varied then we can even begin to imagine. Secondly this situation arose because of the all powerful mechanism of evolution, which does not have an aim in mind and should not imply progress, but simply reflects the need to sustain the existence of your bloodline by adapting to your environment. Thirdly humans are arrogant and blundering enough to do untold damage to much of what has taken 450 million years to evolve.
There is nothing here you won't find elsewhere (although I personally learnt an enormous amount). What sets the book apart is the passion and the joy the author brings to the subject, and this, for me, easily over came the book's numerous faults. This is not an academic work and the author's keenness for sharing anecdotes about drinking beer in the African bush might annoy the most serious minded. Others will object to the extended literary comparisons that run through the book. The author has two heroes - Darwin and Joyce. The former finds infinite variety and creativity, in the natural world, the latter in language. For natural historians this may be an irrelevance, whereas for students of literature the constant reminders that he has read Finnegan's Wake feel like showing off.
More to the point is the books form. It is a serious of short essays (typically 3-4 pages). Each, as the form dictates, has a beginning, middle and an end and this can get rather too rich a mix relatively quickly. Too many epiphanies in too short a time. I'd just recommend that when you feel a bit sated put the book down and read something else. You will find returning to the book later rewarding.

[Brian · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written in a conversational tone by a very interesting and refreshing sports writer who also is a fantastic naturalist. The book is full of wonderful stories from far off places and interesting nature interactions, delivered enthusiastically with the clarity of someone who is used to reporting the facts. The book is full of fascinating information about organisms small and large, famous and obscure. I was most impressed with the presentation, which was full of fun, inquisitiveness, and a zest for life. Barnes alternates through the chapters from relatively recognizable vertebrates to occasionally obscure, but fascinating invertebrates, making his point along the way that we should celebrate all life, not just the ones we think are more like us. As a bonus to this very enjoyable, unique, and spellbinding read, Barnes introduced me to other fantastic authors that will provide me with several enjoyable reads in the future. This is not just a book about animals, it is a memoir, a thesis, a fireside chat with a tumbler full of whiskey by a man that you should get to know. Not reading anything by Simon Barnes would be like never watching Sir David Attenborough on TV… a complete and utter sin.

[Agnes Goyvaerts · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most enjoyable book, giving an insight into the immense variety of variety of species and even strange and very intricate creatures. I liked the humour with which Simon Barnes describes all this and all his stories surrounding the finding or experiences he had over the years with said creatures. Most of all I enjoyed his stories and facts about insects and invertebrates. I also enjoyed the way he brought into his writing references to other books and writings, made the whole experience of reading this book both interesting and nice.
The end conclusion, that we share this planet earth with such a variety of other life forms but that we are all intricately joined and dependent on each other is the conclusion that follows for everyone who reads the book to the end.
I found the short chapters very easy to read, and as I read mainly in at night in bed, or early mornings, this suited me well too.
I would recommend this book very much to anyone that has an interest in ecology, and in the current concern about the environment and the disappearance of species. Or who just wants to know about the diversity of life forms known to be on our beautiful planet.

[Virginia · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the middle of one of the last chapters I was distracted by an unknown song. I looked up and there was the most ruby red cardinal I had seen. I was hearing the song, which is common in my NC backyard, anew because of my changed outlook thanks to this book. I began reading with an appreciation of the immensity of the animal kingdom and a developed understanding of evolution. However, I leave now, having read this book, with a renewed love for all animals, those that swim and those that roll dung. We are not alone on this planet, and we are hardly the best design to survive the changes our industries are causing. It has been a treat to be humbled and inspired. I sat and listened to the cardinal for a few minutes, mainly because I wanted to make those last chapters last longer, but also because it's song and movement left me with so many questions.

[Francis Harper · Rating 3 out of 5]

An admirable attempt to cover all of the major categories of animal life on the planet. The chatty anecdotal style helps to get you over the "yet another boring mini-chapter about a different kind of worm" problem but eventually grates as it becomes clear that he doesn't really want to get into any detail that can't be crammed into a "what I did that day in Africa/Suffolk/Cornwall..." story. And the almost total lack of any pictures or charts of how animal groups are related is reprehensible. The fascination with James Joyce is odd as is the apparent belief that all taxonomy should be phylogenetic (hence the "there's no such thing as 'fish'"theme) but if you can get past the deficiencies, there are some interesting nuggets of information here.

[Amberwench · Rating 4 out of 5]

Less 'Hard science!" and more "Nature is lovely and strange and we think abut it not nearly enough", this read is a ramble through a curated selection of all things living. Filled with enough technical terms and true facts to make you learn all sorts of new trivia yet shared in such a personal storytelling format that you don't realize you're, indeed, learning something. Filled with humor and delightful quotable statements. “Classification is like trying to tidy a house full of egocentric geniuses and small children: it’s a great idea and you’ve got to keep trying, but you’re never going to succeed in any final sense of the term.”

[Ayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simon Barnes* writes as David Attenborough narrates, albeit after drinking a pint or two.
His enthusiasm for anything that crawls, flies, hops, swims or walks is infectious. There were so many different little factoids about this or that obscure or mundane animal. No one within earshot was safe from my barrage of quotations.


Pleasant, quirky and insightful. Overall a lovely read.



* I happen to share his love of footnotes.

[Colleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. It is basically a very cursory look at the whole animal kingdom. The author alternates between vertebrates and invertebrates. Nothing is very in depth or overly scientific, just a taste of all the wonderful ,improbable and beautiful solutions to how to live on earth that have evolved over the years. The authors fondness for James Joyce was a bit distracting, but not terribly so. Keep an iPad or computer on hand so you can check all the creatures out

[Nick Leshi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing, often hilarious writing about the Animal Kingdom. I learned so much, page after page, not just about the creatures who share our world, but also about taxonomy (the science of defining and naming all these wondrous, seemingly countless species), all presented in an entertaining style. The chapters were short, bite-sized essays, so perfect for reading in whatever slots of free time I could manage to find.

[Chris Warren · Rating 1 out of 5]

Apparently this book has a rating of 4.03 and I've no idea why. I found it tedious in the extreme and struggled to finish it and was constantly irritated by some of the language and those damn footnotes. I may be in the minority but I am happy to be so. Come to think of it I was lukewarm about 'Birdwatching With Your Eyes Closed: An Introduction to Birdsong' so not quite sure why I put myself through this. Yawn.