More than Happy: The Wisdom of Amish Parenting

by Serena B. Miller, Paul V. Stutzman (With)

In the tradition of Bringing Up Bebe and Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother , an in-depth look at the practices and principles of Amish parents and how they raise children who are self-sufficient, hard-working, and remarkably happy.

The more time Serena Miller spent in Holmes County, Ohio, doing research for her popular Amish novels, the more she began to notice something—Amish children were the happiest children she’d ever seen. Despite not having modern toys and conveniences, they are joyful, serene, calm, and respectful—not to mention whipping up full meals and driving buggies before most of us will allow our children to walk to school alone. And yet, when she started asking questions about what these parents were doing differently, she was startled to learn that happiness is not a goal Amish strive for at all.

In More Than Happy Miller uncovers many surprising insights, including the significance of real responsibilities, the wisdom of unplugging from technology, the value of unstructured time to play, the importance of firm rules, and the importance of each teenager’s freedom to decide what is best for their future.

Full of practical takeaways, More Than Happy shows you how to apply the basic principles and parenting techniques the Amish use, so you can raise happy, well-adjusted kids.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Amish, Family, Childrens, Education, Religion

336 pages, Hardcover

First published February 3, 2015

About the author

I live only a few miles from a flourishing Amish community and am blessed to count many Old Order Amish as friends. Love Finds You In Sugarcreek, Ohio is a natural outgrowth of my on-going fascination with these valiant, flawed people who struggle to live their lives according to their interpretation of the Bible. Once, when I apologized for asking so many questions while researching this book, an Amish father told me that I could ask anything I wanted. “Nothing is forbidden,” he said. He told me that he wanted my book to be accurate. I was thrilled when his family read it and gave me their enthusiastic nod of approval.

Our family, however, also lived for many years in Michigan. My father, a sawyer, told me stories he had heard from old timber men who had cut the fabled giant pine in the Saginaw Valley. Visiting museums and reading about the years directly after the Civil War, when Michigan became the lumber capitol of the world, became a hobby. I was delighted when Revell Publishing allowed me to revisit that era by writing The Measure Of Katie Calloway.

There are many other books on their way—both Amish and historical. Please know that each one is a labor of love from me to you.

To God be all the glory, forever.

Serena

Reviews

[steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

A excerpt from this book:

My husband and I were talking with some Amish fathers recently about the role of discipline and hard work in raising Amish children. My husband had a question for the men. "As fathers, what is your dream for your children?"

All three men took time to ponder this. As they thought this through, I rolled through various possible answers around in my mind. How would most Englisch parents respond? Would they say they dream of happiness for their children? Good health? A good education? Maybe a great job?

When our friend Leseter answered, it was none of those things. "My dream for my children is that they grow up to be people of value."

-

So here's the deal. I saw this book on the library shelf and my initial thought was "OHMYGOD AN AMISH PARENTING BOOK". I was shocked that someone actually wrote one and then published it to the masses, ie. Non-Amish people. And I don't have children and I don't plan on having children anytime soon so I picked this book up mainly to read as fun. Because honestly what could today's modern, 2015 society learn from people who don't allow electricity in their houses?

A lot, apparently.

I was wrong, this book covers a lot of the Amish culture and heritage and how that reflects on their parenting. Some of it, especially the faith based part cannot be done by people of other faiths or people of non faith so it is not relevant to all people of the English world. But what struck me most about this book is how relevant most of it is to the English world. How it is the most simplest things that we can do for our families that end up making the biggest impact on their behavior and what kind of person they grow up to become. From the quote above, raising children to be people of value is important to the Amish faith and that is what really struck me about this book. People of value. The Amish want their children to be kind and courtesy and generous and giving and putting others before themselves and if I had kids, I'd want that as well. This author talks about the importance of family and a community and how having adults in their lives that listen and are there for the children and teach them by example right from wrong, (she said it didn't have to be parents, it could be grandparents, aunts or uncles, a good family friend etc) it makes a big difference in raising children who are good people at their core and as a result grow up to be adults who are happy because they are content and pleased with their life and their contributions to the world.

Never would I have thought that I would agree with about 80% of a book on Amish parenting. But I do/did. Will eventually buy this book for my own collection one day. It's helpful in showing what is important to raising good children and how its not material things as most of our society believes it is.

[Jeanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

What is the fascination with the life of the Amish? With so many best seller fiction novels on the lives of the Amish and movies, we have an attraction. Best-selling author Serena Miller gives her readers a look at the lives of the Amish in the raising of their families and their life style.


Done in six parts you get a better understanding and more of an appreciation of the values of the Amish. Each part ends with Amish parenting tips for the non-Amish.

Part one Family- From how do new mothers take care of their babies from not letting them cry it out and feeding on demand, says much about how they love and care for their children. The contentment of Amish Children is due to the parents making the family central that children are allowed to feel secure. Community starts with the family. Children are included in all areas of the family life. With the work, the play, the meal and the worship, the family is central. An Amish family is accountable to the Amish community. If a marriage is having issues, the community will take measures to help that family overcome those issues.

Part two Community-The Amish community is having purpose together. Common core values that value others more important. Individualism teaches follow your heart, Amish core values in community teaches to consider the other. Three principals that feed community and starve individualism are avoiding anything prideful. From praising beauty and intelligence, giving up your own will to do things your own way, and the acceptance of life. This fosters cooperation and support for one another instead of fostering competition. With competition, we create a culture of insecurity that leads to bitterness, fear and anxiety.

Part three Discipline-Discipline starts with the mind-set that the homes are not child-centered, they are God-centered. The value of God is taught and with that is the discipline to wait. No instant gratification. A study show that children that have the discipline to wait, score higher on SAT test, have a lower BMI and have a better well-being. The discipline of waiting also encourages respect which is a high value in the Amish community and family.

Part four-Work Ethic-It is very evident that Amish have a strong work ethic but along with that they also have a balance of play. The importance of play eliminates a burnout that we in the non-Amish experience. Not that we do not experience play, but maybe not a healthy play where the enjoyment of each other is experienced.

Part five – Technology-Something to consider- “Whereas electricity tends to distribute the family all over the house, a lack of electricity draws them closer together, kind of like a moths to a flame. Have you experienced a power outage? Our family did for 3 days, and it was a memory that I will always cherish. The Amish experience that bonding all the time. What happens is our lives are built on small decisions that we make. When we decide that a computer game, TV show, internet surfing, etc. is more important than reading a book, playing a board game, teaching a new skill like knitting, we are building barriers instead of building a home. Many times our technology encourages us to want and desire what is not important. We lose reality and choose fantasy.

Part six- Faith- Are we truly engaged in our faith? Amish are very engaged in their faith. They do not require entertainment for worship. It is interesting without evangelism; the Amish are thriving, whereas the American Church is declining. Many members move from church to church or they stop going all together. The Amish church and community is devoted to five biblical principles found in the Acts church.

I was encouraged and found great joy reading about the lifestyles of the Amish culture. I appreciated the why and the discipline it takes to deny self in obedience to the will of God. The Amish culture has its own problems; however, they know how to live in community.

Thank you Goodreads for ARC and the opportunity to read such a fine book.

[Charlotte · Rating 3 out of 5]

Someone told me this week I should have lived in the 60's, but I felt kind of amish as I read this. I agree with and use almost all of the parenting methods they use (except the paddle and shunning). So I liked this book.

[Joan Concilio · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interestingly, I have what in many ways is a very different parenting view from most Amish families I know, yet I found many themes in common regarding intentionality and lifelong learning. Definitely made me think.

[Brittney · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I could have learned about Amish parenting with way less of her own commentary and value judgements. But this did encourage me to make important changes, so a reluctant four stars.

[Janalee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always a sucker for Amish advice. Keep in mind, they didn't write a parenting book about themselves. They don't have that kind of unholy pride. An outsider went in and researched. They were cooperative and humble with their information. "It's against their nature to act as though they thought they had any wisdom at all to give. However, helping one's neighbor is also deeply woven into the fabric of their lives."

The author's observations were that Amish children were unusually well-behaved, respectful, happy and content. They weren't picky with food and entertained themselves easily, playing for hours and not growing bored. In direct contrast to many children today. What? How?

Well, the children are a cherished part of the family. Always in the midst of the hub, joining in with chores and work at age 2. Fairly adept in the kitchen at age 5 because they are invited to learn young and their work is valued, but not praised.

With no screens, electricity (though batteries are fine) or technology (sometimes computers for a family business, but no internet), they don't have the distractions we have and take time to teach the children skills such as carpentry, animal care, etc.

The goal isn't to raise happy children but to raise adults who give value. The happiness is a by-product of being a useful, valuable adult with skills and a good work ethic.

They are taught they are not more important rather they are less important than others. Their wants and needs are important but not more than others. it makes a difference in how they behave.

"one would assume that Amish children who are taught that their wants and needs are not more important than others, children who are not constantly praised and who will never receive a trophy would struggle with a poor self-image, depression, eating disorders, social maladjustment, feelings of inferiority and general lack of confidence.....surveys show that Amish teens have a healthier view of their bodies than English teens. eating disorders are virtually nonexistent. so are unemployment and homelessness....on the whole, Amish women perceive themselves as happier more content, and less stressed than those in a similar study of Englisch women".

Snacking: This isn't something the kids are used to. they seldom eat between meals. Even if they don't prefer a certain food, they don't refuse it. they work up appetites playing and working. imagine that.

Education: Differences are we are taught to get one, go to college. Amish are the opposite. They encourage children to opt-out at age 14 and start an apprenticeship to learn a useful and marketable skill. "Critical thinking and formal education are not necessarily tied together." Most employers prefer to hire and train Amish workers over non. Better work ethic and more common sense and creative problem-solving methods.

One method that translates into better behaved, more disciplined children is they reward the self-discipline rather than bribing the child to be good. Ex: At a grocery store, instead of handing the child candy while they shop so they will be good, they might give them a treat after the shopping is done, only if the child has exhibited good behavior. There will be no treat if there is whining or pleading. This self-discipline helps preserve the culture.

In fact, the self-discipline is so rigid that it's rare for an Englisch person to convert. There have been very few over the years and half of them eventually returned to their Englisch society. Giving up self for the greater good isn't a walk in the park.

The Amish have a higher retention rate than any other religion. 91% (2010). This with their buggies, oil lamps, hard pews, no prise or technology.

Honestly, sign me up.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

I admire the Amish and their commitment to family, faith, and community. This book explores how these values affect their parenting and what we (the Englisch...or non-Amish) can learn from them. As someone who has grown up and currently belongs to a strong religious community, I can relate to many of the strengths of the Amish...striving to put family at the center of our lives, looking out for and taking care of each other, the sacredness of marriage (she mentioned the idea of marriage being designed to make us more holy, as opposed to make use more happy), and having our faith an integral part of our daily lives. A few things I liked that diverged from my norm: the Amish work ethic (they are so capable and hard working); while they don't focus on formal education, they are committed to lifelong learning (I think we tend to focus on the opposite, but both are important); the intentional use (or nonuse) of technology; their focus on raising good (as opposed to happy) children ("My dream for my children is that grow up to be people of value); and what she called the "Amish pause" where people respectfully consider and give thought to what people say before responding. I liked learning about and from the Amish community, although her simplistic writing style was distracting for me.

[Miranda Sanders · Rating 4 out of 5]

This has probably been my favorite book I’ve read this year. It is well written (however, I gave it four stars where I believe it ultimately deserves 5, due to the amount of extra fillers she put in the book. Serena also writes fiction, so I didn’t let it annoy me too much because she’s used to writing detail.) and very informative. It seems as though she did her due diligence with research and talking with people to make sure it was accurate.
I consider this book basically like a sociological book, as it looked at the different aspects of the upbringing of the Amish children within their culture, that cultivates an environment of “happy,” content, secure, and hard-working children and eventual adults. This isn’t a how-to parenting book, but a book of concepts of “incorporate this idea into your daily lives” and hope to yield fruit in the future. At the end she brings up, that raising children well doesn’t mean you have to sell your car and cut out tv altogether, but when you raise your kids with a lot of the principles mentioned and in a way that offers the child security, you are more likely to see good fruit occur. I enjoyed how she went about looking at their upbringings.

[Marilee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this one. The Amish really have an interesting way of life. By somewhat closing themselves off from modern technology and the rest of the world, they protect their family and find happiness. The author, Serena B. Miller, lives near an Amish community and has many Amish friends. She noticed how well behaved Amish children are and so happy. She explores the elements of the Amish way of life and how it contributes to their happiness, and how we can incorporate them into our own parenting style. I feel like we were already doing a lot of the things she talked about (eating meals together as a family, limiting technology), but I still enjoyed reading this and learned some things about the Amish culture.

[Katherine Ellis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED THIS BOOK!! I’ll address the elephant in the room—-yes I know that the Amish take things to the “extreme,” and no i’m not converting (though I think I would thrive)—-but you would be a fool to think we can’t learn from them. The principles in this book were absolutely fantastic. It’s broken up into sections—family, community, discipline, amish work ethic, technology, and faith. The chapters are short and impactful, and the author is incredible with keeping her readers engaged. It felt like a parenting book that takes the stress off the parent to “do all the things” and rather just invite their children into their normal lives. So. Much. Goodness. I could talk about this book for hours.

Will be rereading again when i’m pregnant one day!

[Elizabeth Barajas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Questions worth asking

This book touched on some very important questions worth asking as a parent in the modern digital age. I spend a lot of time his g and managing electronics in our home. It's worth asking g if this is truly a better way. This book he!odd me ask myself if I'm patento.g to m and then happy or parent g and to help them choose good.

[Hildie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish this would've covered some of the controversial parts of this parenting style rather than only focusing on what the Amish got "right" over the Englisch. If it had, it would be a five star read!

[Monica Lafleur · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book extremely fascinating. I loved hearing how the Amish live and felt inspired to live more simply after reading this. I’m naturally drawn to the idea of living in community and this book increased that… but maybe I have a “rose coloured glasses” view of it…

[Caroline Weiss · Rating 4 out of 5]

DNF. I really enjoyed this book, but felt that it was longer than it needed to be. It made it hard for me to stay interested towards the end. Since it was a library book, I decided to return it instead of renew it.

[Brenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish she would have talked more about the drawbacks of Amish culture.

I think a lot of their parenting techniques would be hard to implement because so much of it seems community based, it's easier for kids to do what's expected of them when it's also expected of every single child they know. But I like their overall style.

[Brie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really, really enjoyed this book. The way of the Amish life is fascinating and I believe we have a lot we could learn from them. They are a humble people so this book did not once come off as pretentious or "our way is the best way"…for the Amish, this is just THE way they live, the way they were brought up, and the way they continue to bring up next generations. I'd be lying if I said there weren't times while reading this book where I wished I was Amish. I know the grass is never greener on the other side, but in a world overcome with technology, social media and busyness, it's hard not to think about what a disconnected, quiet life on an Amish farm would be like. Of course, being raised Amish and being thrown into their lifestyle is two completely different things and there's a reason why almost no Amish convertors last - it's difficult to forget and leave behind the life and world as you knew it.

Anyway…as far as parenting goes, I actually wish I had had my own copy of this book so that I could have highlighted and marked my favourite parts, rather than just scribbling them out into a journal. I read this book slowly, over a few months, which I did on purpose, not for lack of interest though. I was so overcome with all the "advice" and simplistic ways of thinking that I wanted to absorb as much as I could. There are no hard fast "rules" in the Amish way of parenting; it's the results of many, many generations of teaching and upbringing. Their lifestyle as a whole needs to be taken into consideration as well (lack of electricity, lack of technology, farm chores/life, grade 8 educations, etc), so it would be unfair to compare the Amish and the "Englisch" ways of parenting straight across the board. BUT, with that being said, at the core of the Amish way of parenting - which I took away as to be "intentional parenting" - this concept can be applied to ANY type of parent, Amish or not.

A truly interesting read for all parents. Even if you only take away one piece of advice, one new parenting tactic from this book, then I think it's worth reading.

[Kristine Murray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very intriguing!!! I suppose Amish are easier to study than other groups because 1) they stand out so much and 2) they are geographically grouped close together. I am sure that many non-Amish parents are doing some of these things already, but it is not as noticeable, as they are not in a "petri dish" to be studied.

I was struck by the similarities of these parenting ideas to "THE FAMILY: A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD" by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Both focus on strong marriages and husbands and wives helping each other, the importance of family (large familes, extended families), work, forgiveness, humility, selflessness and of course, "wholesome recreational activities."

That would make an interesting book group discussion - comaring the book and the Proclamation.

Great ideas, not just on parenting, but on family living. Really enjoyed her thoughts. Almost makes me want to move to a farm in Ohio!

[Maren bosley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This wasn’t a literary masterpiece, nor was it meant to be. However I was completely sucked into learning about the Amish people and their foundational beliefs and why they live the way they do. This book was heavily focused on their parenting and why their kids are happy despite not having what most modern children have. I underlined so many things and found myself agreeing so much with how they parent. I think I might be part Amish. Ha! One thought that has resonated with me and I have thought about a lot is how Amish parents aren’t concerned/focused on their kids’ happiness. They are concerned with their kids living lives of value. This is because they believe that happiness is a byproduct of living a life of value—centering your life on God and family and loving your neighbor. I totally loved this book and it made me feel validated in my parenting as I too strive to raise people of value and good character sometimes going against the grain of modern parenting.

[Travis Bow · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting book about the way the Amish live, with a focus on how that way of life affects children. Does a pretty good job of not idolizing the Amish and giving some practical ways that principles like being involved with extended family, encouraging work ethic by making a child a contributor to what the family needs to accomplish, being an example to children of charity and forgiveness, limiting the extent and quality of TV time and electronics usage, and focusing more on raising children to be good than on raising them to be happy. It wasn't particularly gripping-I took almost a year to read it-but it was interesting and gave some helpful perspective.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really interesting read! There were so many poignant ideas shared--I would love for my children to grow up to be MORE than happy, to care about others and community, to value work and a job well done.

I knocked off a star for author Serena Miller's tone throughout the book. I've really enjoyed some of her fiction, but I found all of her personal asides in this book distracting (and a bit holier than thou). I'm sure she didn't mean to come off that way, but I did find myself skimming several sections.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a wonderful book! It is packed full of real life stories and examples and was esp intriguing to me bc she did her research in an area that is close to my heart. Not a how-to book but it challenged me to think about my parenting, priorities, how I spend my time, and the importance of building community esp within the church. I think about many of the concepts as I am parenting my own children. It's a inspirational and interesting read.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

My daughter checked out this book when she was asked to do a report for her sociology class. Book lover that I am, and always interested in the Amish lifestyle of simplicity and faith, I read it myself. I agree. The research this author has done seems thorough. We are not Amish but we are Christian and we have been asked on countless occasions why our children are so enjoyable to be around, well behaved, childlike yet mature, hard-working and reliable. If you were to ask our kiddos, now almost 15 and almost 17, they would say probably a couple of things. "We were spanked when we were younger," and, "We are supposed to be good and be good at what we do." When my husband and I have been asked, we would say, "God did it," or, "We try to keep it simple, to the basics." We always include our children in our work and giving and helping. We kept them with us in church instead of going to the nursery or children's church. They both have had chores since they were 18 months old, we have been a team as parents in disciplining and raising them, and at you ages they answered Jesus' call with a, "Yes," because they have been read the Bible and taught the Bible and prayed for and prayed themselves and read the Bible for themselves. We don't have a lot of friends but we we have family and church family who are our friends, and this books is just a great summing up of a lot of simple but also at times hard things. Our kids don't have phones, we don't have television stations or anything but we do have a TV and when we watch, we watch together. Our kids don't have phones or social media accounts, and as of the past year, they will be continuing their education at home instead of in the worldly I guess you could call it atmosphere of going TO the school. This book reminded me to stick with it, improve on some things we've been lacking.lagging on lately and to continue, as we say, just keeping it all real and all real-life with communicating and ministering and living everyday life. I enjoyed reading the quotes and lists in this book and really respect the manner in which the author presented everything. I learned more about the rumspringa and "the Amish and taxes" and things like that too. I especially enjoyed that she included scriptures for context and explanation. I now also want to read this author's other books, her novels, just for fun. I have kind of wished I had some Amish friends or a pen pal.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Our family visits Amish country about twice a year. I picked up this book one one of last years trips. Like many, I'm fascinated with the Amish way of life and especially as a parent, with Amish parenting. The book has sat on my shelf for a while and recently, during some days of dealing with pre-teen angst from our son, I thought maybe this book could give me some tips. I needed a refreshing look at parenting.

I took away so many valuable nuggets and pieces of advice from this book! I certainly do feel refreshed! The author, a woman who is friends with many Amish families, spends time in their homes and writes about them for a living, focuses on these main areas: family, community, discipline, work ethic, technology, and faith. I would encourage anyone, of any faith background, to read this if they are feeling discouraged in their parenting or if they feel the world is taking over their child (especially with technology) and they're losing their grip. Any grandparent or anyone expecting a child would benefit also!

Here are some snippets from the end of the book that I appreciated:

"Mistakes are inevitable. Parenting is not an easy job. It is expensive, messy, time-consuming, and sometimes overwhelming. We parents make tens of thousands of decisions in the course of raising our children. No matter how hard we try, we are not going to get everything right." (So it's not just me?!) ;)

"It is easy to be envious of the Amish and their interconnectedness... [but] even in today's society, it does not take giving up electricity, cars, and technology and becoming Amish to have a supportive network of good people in one's life. What it does take is time and an intentional willingness to be available to others." (I LOVE that --> "intentional willingness to be available to others"

[Audrey · Rating 2 out of 5]

I ordered a bunch of Amish cookbooks and this one was accidentally sent to me. I find Amish culture interesting so I read it. To be fair, I’m a parent but I don’t think I’d go to the Amish for parenting tips.

Alas, there are no tips in this book and basically the book says Amish children are so good because they do farm chores, have their family nearby and aren’t fussy eaters. Look lady, I grew up on a farm and was in 4-H and FFA. I was still an extremely picky eater. I also only had 4 channels of tv growing up so I didn’t watch much so her argument that commercial cause cravings didn’t fly either.

The author also romanticizes the Amish a lot because she also writes Amish fiction. They’re kind of doomed into this lifestyle especially with the way technology has advanced. She even mentions the teacher at the Amish school only had an 8th grade education. Yes, let’s put them on the parenting pedestal.

She also seems to really push how good it is for Amish women to stay home with their kids but “it’s ok if you work.” She was very snide about working moms. I find I’m actually a lot happier as a mom working part time.

I’d also like to add that society sometimes puts these extremely conservative people on a pedestal. There has been a lot of reports of sexual abuse of children among the Amish. This also reminds me of the Duggar’s, look what came out there. The Duggar’s would also use a ruler to beat their children if they strayed from a blanket as a baby/toddler, look it up it’s called blanket training and check out Reddit for more on them. It’s why they were so well behaved as small children. Not everything is as it seems.

[Kristin Gilman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. The author had noticed that Amish children are better behaved in public than other children and decides to research why. She tells all these stories about her Amish friends and it paints a beautiful picture of the Amish life. They don't have all the distractions that normal Americans have like television. Seriously, after reading this book my family went a week with no tv. Instead we played board games and read books and had family time. Even now, a couple of months later we've put more time into family activities and enjoying life instead of staring at screens so much.
This book does paint a mostly positive picture. The author tries to show both sides. She talks about how they can't get education beyond the eighth grade without leaving the Amish life or changing to a less restrictive sect. Their church services are hours long with sad,dirge-like music. Overall though it has that same pleasant view that all the Amish romance novels have. The idea of a simpler world. There are also some good parenting tips thrown in. The Amish focus on community and family and involve their children in housework and helping others starting at age 2. There was a 5 year old in the book who was able to make homemade noodles nearly all be herself. She could mix it up, roll it out, and cut it up without any help.
I truly enjoyed this book. I've also learned a few things and we've applied some of these to my own life and I and my family are the happier for it.

[Diane Busch · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was fascinating and enlightening. I checked it out from library because it sounded interesting and I wanted to peruse it. My mother lives in Holmes County where this book was written and I visit her often so I wanted to learn more about the Amish who live there. I didn’t plan on reading the entire book because my children are grown and I don’t need parenting advice anymore. But one page led to another and I couldn’t put it down. The author does a great job of letting us enter into the homes of the Amish families she befriended and with whom she spent much time. Great insight was gained through their open and honest answers to her many questions. Some of your preconceived ideas of the Amish may be revoked. There is much to be learned from the way the Amish raise their children to be respected, hard-working contributing members of the family. At the end of each section of the book Miller sums up what she has learned by printing a list of Amish parenting tips for the non-Amish. The co-author, Mr. Stutzman grew up Amish and is now Mennonite, still living in Holmes County. He contributes his insights on the varying topics throughout the book as well. The scope of the book is actually much broader than just parenting, which is why I ended up reading it cover to cover. You will come away with much respect for the Amish and their faith and family values.

[Kelsey Shenk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excerpts from the book…

“My dream for my children is that they grow up to be people of value.” - An Amish Father

“As I’ve interviewed my Amish friends, it is very clear to me that they aren’t at all concerned about making their children happy, in the Englisch sense. The kind of happiness that is based on personal wants or expectations seems to be irrelevant to them. Instead, they concentrate on helping their children grow up to be people of value - sons and daughters with integrity and compassion who know how to work and how to give. As I’ve said, before one of life’s ironies is that children who grow up to be people value tend to also be very happy people. On the other hand, children who have been placated, bribed, given no responsibility and too many possessions, who are not taught clear-cut values and rules or how to do a day’s work, these children tend to become miserable fairly quickly.”

There are obvious things I do not agree with in the Amish way of life, but I greatly enjoyed this simple, thought provoking book that gave me a better picture into why they live the way they live. It gave me much to chew on in terms of my own parenting and why I parent the way I do.

[Jen Hill · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think people are interested in the Amish because they long for a more simple life that feels safe. That has less decisions. More security in an interconnected, supportive group.

Things I have learned from this Amish book:
- teach by example
- never underestimate what a child is capable of
- give your child a sense of purpose (chores) from a young age without allowance, allowing them to contribute to the family unit
- teach your child they they are important but not MORE important than any individual family member or the family unit
- treat yourself, spouse, children and others with respect ALWAYS (and think about what you say before you say it)
- respect your elders and have extended family involved or build your own “village”
- be consistent with discipline and follow through
- promote lifelong learning (common sense, reading, learning skills, etc) which is just as important if not more so than formal education
- give your child the chance to earn money and manage their finances

[Maryalene · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting peek into Amish culture, but if you're looking for a parenting book, this isn't it. While there are some tips interspersed at the end of the chapters, it is really more about how the Amish lifestyle and faith fosters tight-knit families and communities. I don't think that is something that can be easily replicated by non-Amish families.

The one quibble I have with the author is the broad brush she used to paint "Englisch" families. As the book progressed, it felt like she had to contrast every positive from the Amish community with a failing from non-Amish families. It gave the impression that the author believes all non-Amish kids are spoiled brats with lazy parents. That sort of generalization detracted from the overall book.

[Caroline Sanders · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! The parenting advice was nothing revolutionary, probably because the Amish have been doing things the same way for generations. The most fascinating part was learning about the Amish, with some encouragement and good reminders reinforced for parents. Many of their points were very consistent with how I was raised and simply reflected a Christian method. I couldn’t help but cringe a little when the author (the wife of an evangelical pastor) seemed to find their advice so surprising or original. Much of it merely seems like Biblical advice to me. This book definitely made me long for a more tight knit community. Even if you disagree with the Amish on certain points, it’s worth noting that by far, most of their children keep their faith and lifestyle and choose to live like their parents do. Lots to reflect on!