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Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL
"PFTCommenter is one of the dumbest guys on the Internet, and that makes him a genius. Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN
"It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation
"The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com
"This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler
In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death.
Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate.
Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.
"It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation
"The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com
"This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler
In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death.
Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate.
Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.
72 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 26, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
November 24, 2014
Probably the best book ever; will outsell the bible by the end of the year.
April 20, 2015
I couldn't find this book anywhere at the library not even in the downloads but then I realized that's because libraries are totally commie. I have my theories why it isn't in hardcover or paperback either but I might get disappeared if I spelt it out too clearly online so I'll just be kicking the science with defiance at REAL sports bars for now.
So I was bummed for a bit this ebook cost money but I realized this world would be a better place if the next time everyone considered buying froufrou food they would buy this ebook and buy some real sports fans food with what was remaining instead. That's a promise.
Now if you go in for big long all grammar no hammer books that get nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize (you know who else wrote like 700 pages and got nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize?) theirs the door, this is not for you. Or maybe you're all proofreading no troofreading but then you get all hypocritical liking poetry that doesn't even try to rhyme. Sorry not sorry if thats you.
One big question this book opened up was if hillary clinton gets elected it might almost be worth it just so we have an awesome seuqel.. But then I had a think over some Hot Pockets, maybe writing is allowed to do this even if she didn't get ellected and if it is you can be sure PFT Commenter will have his lunch pail out as he writes out this story (on a computer not on the lunch pail. Sceitnfic ACCURACY.)
Anyway there are 2 reviewers that gave this only 4 stars, that's good because it shows people aren't in lock step because you know who else had people voting 100% for him. But all the same those people who gave it four stars deserve a swirlie. If you give it three you deserve one in a gas station.
I wrote this review before reading any of the book but now that I read it it's just as true and I didn't want to spoil any of it for you anyway. It is all sizzling no chiseling. You allready guessed that but it cant be said too many ways.
So I was bummed for a bit this ebook cost money but I realized this world would be a better place if the next time everyone considered buying froufrou food they would buy this ebook and buy some real sports fans food with what was remaining instead. That's a promise.
Now if you go in for big long all grammar no hammer books that get nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize (you know who else wrote like 700 pages and got nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize?) theirs the door, this is not for you. Or maybe you're all proofreading no troofreading but then you get all hypocritical liking poetry that doesn't even try to rhyme. Sorry not sorry if thats you.
One big question this book opened up was if hillary clinton gets elected it might almost be worth it just so we have an awesome seuqel.. But then I had a think over some Hot Pockets, maybe writing is allowed to do this even if she didn't get ellected and if it is you can be sure PFT Commenter will have his lunch pail out as he writes out this story (on a computer not on the lunch pail. Sceitnfic ACCURACY.)
Anyway there are 2 reviewers that gave this only 4 stars, that's good because it shows people aren't in lock step because you know who else had people voting 100% for him. But all the same those people who gave it four stars deserve a swirlie. If you give it three you deserve one in a gas station.
I wrote this review before reading any of the book but now that I read it it's just as true and I didn't want to spoil any of it for you anyway. It is all sizzling no chiseling. You allready guessed that but it cant be said too many ways.
January 31, 2019
6.9/5.
Folks,,, let me tel you a little sumthing about football. U need grit. nd PFT Commenter shows outstanding pad level and determination it righting this book. I lerned so much about Roger Goodell (goods in his name 4 a reason), and the grate county the U.S. of A. Covers evrything from how the Dallas Cowboys were saved from Kenya and what realy happened during 9/11.
And for al of you keeping score at home,, u cant spell intergrity without grit. Something to think abou.
Folks,,, let me tel you a little sumthing about football. U need grit. nd PFT Commenter shows outstanding pad level and determination it righting this book. I lerned so much about Roger Goodell (goods in his name 4 a reason), and the grate county the U.S. of A. Covers evrything from how the Dallas Cowboys were saved from Kenya and what realy happened during 9/11.
And for al of you keeping score at home,, u cant spell intergrity without grit. Something to think abou.
April 22, 2018
Wtf did I just read
I litrally LOLd in public and got a lot of looks (it wasnt weird folks). This is basically 70 pages of PFT being PFT
I litrally LOLd in public and got a lot of looks (it wasnt weird folks). This is basically 70 pages of PFT being PFT
December 19, 2021
Very odd
December 27, 2021
Hilarious. Must read if you follow PFT
January 8, 2025
Some of Wayne Table’s most polished and perfected work. A++
January 3, 2018
If you read or watch or follow any of the increasingly WWE-esque football sports-industrial complex at all, PFTCommenter is a must-read. His character - an invincibly ignorant, supremely confident internet commenter who actually believes the dumbest opinions spewed by ESPN talking heads and takes them to the next level - is essentially unique in the world of sports columnists, and only he could do justice to the greatest story ever told, a true clash of the titans. When Jerry Jones dies of a botched plastic surgery accident, a legal loophole allows Barack Obama to seize control of the Dallas Cowboys, and only Roger Goodell, the greatest league commissioner in all of sports, can prevent him from turning America's Team into a Kenyan soccer club via a mano a mano boxing match. There are so many brilliant details and jokes piled upon jokes in here that it boggles the mind, and the fact that it's all filtered through PFTCommenter's unique character, spelling and all, makes it close to the perfect sports take, like one of the old Something Awful articles by Jeff K expanded to its logical limit. Part of being a sports fan is knowing when to stop taking it so seriously, and this incredible tale of heroism, villainy, and football is absolutely perfect for that.
June 2, 2014
True story I laughed so hard reading this on the train the other day some guy standing next to me looked at my phone to see what I was reading and I was like hey man that's kinda creepy (not out loud but I thought that in my head) and I moved to the other side of the train. But actually I hope he saw what I was reading because this is one of the historically great works of literature. Five stars. And if you disagree, there's the door.
July 2, 2016
An incredible piece of incredibly american literature
Wow. Now we no the truth about everything. America is able to stay great again because George bush is doing his best work, owning sports teams
Wow. Now we no the truth about everything. America is able to stay great again because George bush is doing his best work, owning sports teams
June 1, 2014
A phenomenal piece of American literature
PFT commenter is a inspiration to writers and patriots everywhere. I literally can't wait to bring my lunchpail to work tomorrow.
PFT commenter is a inspiration to writers and patriots everywhere. I literally can't wait to bring my lunchpail to work tomorrow.
July 1, 2014
A great parody of internet comments, armchair quarterbacks, and popular political culture. A short fun read. Sorry, not sorry.
February 17, 2017
Slate accurately compared PFT Commenter to “Stephen Colbert," and this is a hilarious book of scorching hot taeks.
February 6, 2026
AWL required 5 star review
March 26, 2017
Listen to ted nugent while reading this novel
A Dickensian novel filled with grit and none of that Shakespearean bullshit romance. Cum for the Machiavellian, stick around for the plot twist that would make m night shamallan crap himself
A Dickensian novel filled with grit and none of that Shakespearean bullshit romance. Cum for the Machiavellian, stick around for the plot twist that would make m night shamallan crap himself
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews