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Sweetwater
Wyoming Territory, 1870.
Elijah Carter is afflicted. Most of the townsfolk of South Pass City treat him as a simpleton because he’s deaf, but that’s not his only problem. Something in Elijah runs contrary to nature and to God. Something that Elijah desperately tries to keep hidden.
Harlan Crane, owner of the Empire saloon, knows Elijah for what he is—and for all the ungodly things he wants. But Crane isn’t the only one. Grady Mullins desires Elijah too, but unlike Crane, he refuses to push the kid.
When violence shatters Elijah’s world, he is caught between two very different men and two devastating urges: revenge, and despair. In a boomtown teetering on the edge of a bust, Elijah must face what it means to be a man in control of his own destiny, and choose a course that might end his life . . . or truly begin it for the very first time.
Elijah Carter is afflicted. Most of the townsfolk of South Pass City treat him as a simpleton because he’s deaf, but that’s not his only problem. Something in Elijah runs contrary to nature and to God. Something that Elijah desperately tries to keep hidden.
Harlan Crane, owner of the Empire saloon, knows Elijah for what he is—and for all the ungodly things he wants. But Crane isn’t the only one. Grady Mullins desires Elijah too, but unlike Crane, he refuses to push the kid.
When violence shatters Elijah’s world, he is caught between two very different men and two devastating urges: revenge, and despair. In a boomtown teetering on the edge of a bust, Elijah must face what it means to be a man in control of his own destiny, and choose a course that might end his life . . . or truly begin it for the very first time.
240 pages, Paperback
First published September 29, 2014
29 people are currently reading
1310 people want to read
About the author
Lisa Henry
102 books2,280 followersI like to tell stories. Mostly with hot guys and happily ever afters. They gotta work for it though. No free lunches on my watch.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 209 reviews
October 8, 2014
I have only one thing to say about this book. It's something I've seen other reviewers say but I've never felt cool enough to pull it off. But whatever. I'm gonna say it.
Ready?
Okay.
OMG, THE FEELZ.
I love this book. I love the writing. I love the portrayal of a 19th century boomtown. I love that it's clear Lisa Henry did her research. I love the melancholic tone. I love that they are no true heroes in this book. I love that although there are a few men in this book that you may define as “really bad guys,” none of them are fruit of the devil eeevil. Nothing is that black or white and I love it. I love that for a non-suspense novel it's suspenseful. On every page I wondered what's gonna happen? Something's gonna go terribly wrong – I JUST KNOW IT. What the fuck's gonna happen to Elijah?
I love Elijah. He's partially deaf and deeply ashamed of it. He's been called a "simple deaf cunt" for so long he believes it. He's attracted to men and deeply ashamed of that as well. He has a loving adoptive father, Dr. Carter, but Elijah doesn't feel worthy of his love. He knows he’s not the good boy Dr. Carter thinks he is.
You've given me everything, Elijah wanted to tell him sometimes, and I'm nothing.He wants to escape his life as a constant disappointment.
Elijah lifted his gaze to see the wagon train climbing west through the hills toward the South Pass. Elijah wanted to chase it, to catch it, to leave everything behind and go into the unknown. The undiscovered country.That’s another part of this book I love – Elijah’s longing to go west, his wish to start anew, to escape a life that’s trapped him. It feels so American, this wish for the “undiscovered country,” those thousands of miles between the Mississippi River and California. Yet it’s a universal desire – a need to leave everything behind, love and disappointment, and discover what we may be in a different place entirely.
That need to escape is yet another reason for Elijah’s shame. Doctor Carter has given him nothing but kindness and love but still he longs for a new life. He escapes his shame by fucking around with local saloon owner Harlan Crane. Ok, wait, no. Elijah doesn't fuck around with him, he's fucked by him. He welcomes the pain Harlan gives him.
Pain. Elijah shuddered and moaned like the dying yearling. He whimpered, his cheek rubbing back and forth against the sheet. Squeezing his eyes shut only made it worse. Nowhere to go with his eyes closed. Nothing to do except feel, and it hurt. It fucking hurt, but something in the rhythm, maybe the friction, made his cock hard...."Tight," Crane grunted. "Tight little bitch." [....] Wasn't supposed to be like this: on his knees, his back bowed, his face pressed into sheets that smelled of sweat. His bound hands opening and closing against the small of his back. Crane's fist in his hair….It wasn't supposed to be like this….It hurt, but somehow Elijah came harder in Crane's bed that he ever had...It's painful to read, as it's painful for Elijah to experience, but it's also arousing, as it is for Elijah. As a reader you're enthralled, but inside you want to scream for Elijah to get the fuck out. That’s some good goddamn writing right there.
Another thing I love? Cattle rustler Grady Mullins. He’s a bit of a “world’s most perfect boyfriend” character, but it’s less obvious in this book than it is in other less subtle novels. I mean, did you see the sentence where I said he’s a cattle rustler? Perfect boyfriends don’t steal cattle and occasionally sell them back to their owners. But he is loving. He is kind. And he sees Elijah. Like Harlan, he sees Elijah’s desire for rough sex but he also sees a boy who needs love and acceptance. Who needs someone who will never leave him. Elijah may like rough treatment but he also needs gentling. Grady knows if he pushes Elijah any chance he has to love him will slip away.
In that moment, it had been enough that Elijah wanted him. In that moment and in this one. Grady liked to think that maybe Elijah was thinking of him too. That was more than Grady had ever had with anyone. They’d hardly spoken, hardly touched, but there was something. It was fragile and ephemeral. It was fireflies. Grady wanted to catch it and hold it in a jar. He wanted to watch it glow. Fragile and ephemeral, but it was as real as anything else.
Although I've mentioned two different men, Harlan and Grady, do not mistake this book for a love triangle. I never once considered Harlan a possible suitor for Elijah’s affections. Neither was it guaranteed Elijah would fall for Grady. (Other than the fact this book is identified as an MM Romance, anyway.) Elijah’s choice wasn’t between two men, but between hope and self-loathing. Life and death.
Strange, what paths lives took. How they diverged. Twisted and shot off in a new direction like a budding growth on a tree.
I feel the need to mention one warning to possible readers: if you’re looking for a traditional romance, where once two dudes meet no other penises shall interest them, this probably isn't the book for you. This book is complicated and enigmatic – nothing is simple. Which is exactly why I love it.
Seriously, people, why the hell haven’t I read more Lisa Henry?
**Copy provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review**
October 7, 2014
THIS IS A SPOILERISH REVIEW!!!
Sweetwater is not a pleasant read, not AT ALL. The world Lisa Henry has created is a brutal place full of pain, anger and, worst of all, self-loathing. I found the atmosphere of the book oppressive at points.
Elijah is a hearing-impaired young man who lives with his "adopted" father, a physician, in an Old West town. Elijah's disability has made him an outcast and given him a bleak outlook. He feels that he is a burden to the doctor and a poor replacement for the doctor's wife and daughter who die before the book begins.
Elijah becomes involved in a sexual relationship with a saloon owner. These encounters are tantamount to rapes, but Elijah enjoys them because they assuage his sense of guilt over the fact that he exists. These encounters were incredibly painful and depressing to read but, damn, they were written very, very well.
Another man appears who has an attraction for Elijah. This new character isn't brutal, but he does understand that part of Elijah requires pain. I try very hard to understand these sorts of situations when I read about them, but... I fail.
This is one of the best m/m books I've ever read. I'm a slow reader who takes lots of breaks and gets distracted by other things while reading; with this book, though, I was not able to look away for a second.
For anyone with the guts to take this one on, let me assure you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You won't regret reading this.
Sweetwater is not a pleasant read, not AT ALL. The world Lisa Henry has created is a brutal place full of pain, anger and, worst of all, self-loathing. I found the atmosphere of the book oppressive at points.
Elijah is a hearing-impaired young man who lives with his "adopted" father, a physician, in an Old West town. Elijah's disability has made him an outcast and given him a bleak outlook. He feels that he is a burden to the doctor and a poor replacement for the doctor's wife and daughter who die before the book begins.
Elijah becomes involved in a sexual relationship with a saloon owner. These encounters are tantamount to rapes, but Elijah enjoys them because they assuage his sense of guilt over the fact that he exists. These encounters were incredibly painful and depressing to read but, damn, they were written very, very well.
Another man appears who has an attraction for Elijah. This new character isn't brutal, but he does understand that part of Elijah requires pain. I try very hard to understand these sorts of situations when I read about them, but... I fail.
This is one of the best m/m books I've ever read. I'm a slow reader who takes lots of breaks and gets distracted by other things while reading; with this book, though, I was not able to look away for a second.
For anyone with the guts to take this one on, let me assure you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You won't regret reading this.
Read
April 25, 2014Sometimes I like to step outside of my comfort zone.
Sweetwater is the result of that.
I read a lot of research books for this. I learned a lot, but probably not enough. It's a period of history and a part of the world I was not very familiar with. My grateful thanks to everyone I pestered with questions. Your help was invaluable. I take responsibility for any remaining historical inaccuracies. (Although I really hope there aren't any.)
If you read Sweetwater, I hope you like it.
And if you've got any questions, let me know :)
Sweetwater is the result of that.
I read a lot of research books for this. I learned a lot, but probably not enough. It's a period of history and a part of the world I was not very familiar with. My grateful thanks to everyone I pestered with questions. Your help was invaluable. I take responsibility for any remaining historical inaccuracies. (Although I really hope there aren't any.)
If you read Sweetwater, I hope you like it.
And if you've got any questions, let me know :)
February 10, 2016
I know what to say with this review but don't know how.
I’ve had a long story with deaf characters in books. Most of the times I feel I’m reading sci-fi books instead of historical or contemporary, because they are truly idilic. I want a honest perspective of what deafness really entails and I’ve reached a point where I open those books with a distrustful look instead of an excited one. One after another I ended up upset or laughing like a madwoman because the story didn’t deserve more than that. For those who don’t know it yet, I’m 100% deaf, so I think I’m in a position to judge the veracity of Elijah’s character.
Based on some people’s words, I’m not deaf because I hear a way too well. Yes, cochlear implants are awesome but I’m not “cured”. That’s partly good because I’ve gone very far thanks to them. But that’s also so very bad because people first treat me as an idiot, exaggerating the lip movement and asking me if I can read them, and then forgetting it all and don’t paying me any kind of attention or kindness when they have figured out I have no problem having a conversation. So they just accept I passed the test and that I understand everything. Which is like me saying “Bonjour” and people assuming I speak perfect French. The first attitude makes me feel like an idiot, although I appreciate the effort. And the second one makes me feel ignored, which I don't appreciate at all. I’m somehow in the middle. Some kind of consideration is good, but suffocating me or forgetting it all is no good at all. Several people go so far they tell me they can’t believe I’m deaf-mute and I answer that’s understandable because as a proper mute person I talk quite well. I can make people feel like idiots if I choose to, too.
There is this widespread belief that every deaf person can lipread. If that person can hear something or uses hearing aids, he possibly can lipread or be helped by it. Lipreading is related to oral language, which pure deaf people normally lack because they usually can only communicate via sign language. I can lipread but I don’t usually depend on it because that’s the extreme situation. It means, when I don’t have my implants on. I don’t have that much practice because I prefer trusting sound.
The hearing world is hostile for some, very hostile. You have your family and your friends and people like you. But mostly it’s very hostile. Not because by norm people are not willing to help, just the opposite, they are sometimes too willing, but because expectations and the rhythm they demand is out of reach for you.
I don't have the arrogance to say every deaf person feels like this, but I assure you more than one will feel identified with my words.
You are deaf. You don’t receive the same exposure to the world as an average person. You receive by far much less information. You are isolated. You get obsessed at little things and think about them again and again because you are alone in your world. A simpler world. You are socially awkward, because your voice is weird, what you catch is weird and you fail in the answer and people frown at you or laughs at the misunderstanding so you are in constant tension and you pay too much attention and you are tired and in the end your self-confidence fails. So you shut up and you retreat into your shell. Vicious circle. In the end, you learn how to appreciate yourself or you sink. Self-steem is harder to achieve.
Think about this. Now there are sounds around you, you catch everything around you and you focus on only some of those sounds and ignore the rest as best as you can. You filter. Now you are deaf. You don’t receive all those sounds. You receive much less. You need a bigger stimuli to pay much more attention to those sounds you feel interested in because otherwise you lose them all and you don’t get the message as a whole. You miss words, the sentence doesn’t make sense, you can’t understand the sentence till you have it “written” on your mind. It takes more time to get the message not because you don’t understand the meaning but because having blind spots is frequent. And the world is not static, it moves and needs a fast answer. So you have two options: ask for a repetition (which is risky because it can happen the second time doesn’t help either so you have to ask for a third one and seem stupid) or you can answer in an ambiguous way (which is risky because you don’t really answer the question or you answer the opposite, so now you are royally stupid). There is a big pressure out there, they expect you to understand, and if you don’t understand, you are stupid and they begin treating you as one. In the end, conversations are much less dynamic. And groups of people are a real challenge.
Also, it's possible that there is an event that takes too much attention and even though you put all your being in it you don’t understand a thing, so you stop paying attention. For example, places with too much noise, with too many people, with too many obstacles. Because it’s tiresome and there is no benefit. So your mind wanders. Trustworthy people order you to pay attention. Most think you are not interested. Lots of times you can’t even do two things at the same time. Eating or listening. Writing or listening. Looking or listening. There is an “or” and hardly an “and”. And in a world where dividing your attention is the norm and rarely the exception, it sucks. Sometimes when I go out to have lunch I eat first and listen after, I even put an interested face during the whole meal if circumstances are not suitable. I kid you not.
I’m not saying everything is impossible. I study Medicine and I’m not the only one in my circumstances who go on like that with challenging situations everyday. I have it all so interiorized I barely notice. I've learnt to appreciate myself and how to work hard. I've had a life of practice to develop some compensations and tricks and even to disguise it all. I don't have a weird voice so if I don't tell, I can pass myself off as normal (or stupid if I fail in my answer, so I just say I'm sleepy or if I'm in a good mood or it could bring some kind of benefit I explain). But if I have difficulty coping with it all, imagine how a really deaf person manages. Or tries to. Or fails. But be careful, mothers at pre-school used to look at me with pity but those same mothers began looking at me with envy in a few years. People with handicaps are the ones who hold the most ability to amaze because it's utterly unexpected. But think... where would those people be if they had no handicap at all?
Another detail. Songs suck. Words are stretched out or said in a hurry and there is a background music/noise. I always look for the lyrics, because I can barely understand them, even in my own language. I can appreciate a good song, though. But I can live without them. I guess what takes too much effort is less searched for.
So, this is a romance book. Why the hell I'm talking about all of this?
Elijah is partly deaf. I’m deaf but not deaf, so in the end I felt some kind of empathy for him, which is not at all due to him being deaf but to the ability of the author to portray a real deaf person. I like Elijah and his deafness is very well explained and demonstrated. It's not only the way the author says it, but it's showed throughout the story. In every conversation. In every soliloquy. In every act. Elijah is ordered to pay attention constantly. Elijah doesn't understand songs. Elijah thinks too much. Elijah's world is too small. Elijah retreats into his shell. Elijah has self-steem problems. Elijah has problems with conversations and how he had never learnt the skill to talk to someone like that. Elijah feels less than the average person and people think Elijah is less than the average person. Elijah thinks and acts and has a perspective you can expect to find in a deaf person. If you read this book, be aware you are reading the living definition of deafness.
Except the submissive facet. That's a different matter altogether. I'm not really a BDSM fan, but I can't complain at all about his tastes. I understood them, the humiliation, the pain, the pleasure he felt. And the fury and shame and shyness. And his determination. In the beginning he's the guy who lets everybody take advantage of. He crawls. But something happens, and suddenly there is a fire in him. And he grows as a person. I think Elijah is a quite complete and developed character, no matter how you look at it.
About the story, I can't complain either. I liked the Crane/Grady conflict. Dr. Carter/God conflict. And I liked Grady a lot, although it would be hard for me to believe his attitude in real life. No problem here, he was utterly enchanted with Elijah. It's a veneration I understood and felt believable.
There are unexpected but very sweet moments. And the last pages are just perfect.
All in all, a great western romance book. And a great character.
I’ve had a long story with deaf characters in books. Most of the times I feel I’m reading sci-fi books instead of historical or contemporary, because they are truly idilic. I want a honest perspective of what deafness really entails and I’ve reached a point where I open those books with a distrustful look instead of an excited one. One after another I ended up upset or laughing like a madwoman because the story didn’t deserve more than that. For those who don’t know it yet, I’m 100% deaf, so I think I’m in a position to judge the veracity of Elijah’s character.
Based on some people’s words, I’m not deaf because I hear a way too well. Yes, cochlear implants are awesome but I’m not “cured”. That’s partly good because I’ve gone very far thanks to them. But that’s also so very bad because people first treat me as an idiot, exaggerating the lip movement and asking me if I can read them, and then forgetting it all and don’t paying me any kind of attention or kindness when they have figured out I have no problem having a conversation. So they just accept I passed the test and that I understand everything. Which is like me saying “Bonjour” and people assuming I speak perfect French. The first attitude makes me feel like an idiot, although I appreciate the effort. And the second one makes me feel ignored, which I don't appreciate at all. I’m somehow in the middle. Some kind of consideration is good, but suffocating me or forgetting it all is no good at all. Several people go so far they tell me they can’t believe I’m deaf-mute and I answer that’s understandable because as a proper mute person I talk quite well. I can make people feel like idiots if I choose to, too.
There is this widespread belief that every deaf person can lipread. If that person can hear something or uses hearing aids, he possibly can lipread or be helped by it. Lipreading is related to oral language, which pure deaf people normally lack because they usually can only communicate via sign language. I can lipread but I don’t usually depend on it because that’s the extreme situation. It means, when I don’t have my implants on. I don’t have that much practice because I prefer trusting sound.
The hearing world is hostile for some, very hostile. You have your family and your friends and people like you. But mostly it’s very hostile. Not because by norm people are not willing to help, just the opposite, they are sometimes too willing, but because expectations and the rhythm they demand is out of reach for you.
I don't have the arrogance to say every deaf person feels like this, but I assure you more than one will feel identified with my words.
You are deaf. You don’t receive the same exposure to the world as an average person. You receive by far much less information. You are isolated. You get obsessed at little things and think about them again and again because you are alone in your world. A simpler world. You are socially awkward, because your voice is weird, what you catch is weird and you fail in the answer and people frown at you or laughs at the misunderstanding so you are in constant tension and you pay too much attention and you are tired and in the end your self-confidence fails. So you shut up and you retreat into your shell. Vicious circle. In the end, you learn how to appreciate yourself or you sink. Self-steem is harder to achieve.
Think about this. Now there are sounds around you, you catch everything around you and you focus on only some of those sounds and ignore the rest as best as you can. You filter. Now you are deaf. You don’t receive all those sounds. You receive much less. You need a bigger stimuli to pay much more attention to those sounds you feel interested in because otherwise you lose them all and you don’t get the message as a whole. You miss words, the sentence doesn’t make sense, you can’t understand the sentence till you have it “written” on your mind. It takes more time to get the message not because you don’t understand the meaning but because having blind spots is frequent. And the world is not static, it moves and needs a fast answer. So you have two options: ask for a repetition (which is risky because it can happen the second time doesn’t help either so you have to ask for a third one and seem stupid) or you can answer in an ambiguous way (which is risky because you don’t really answer the question or you answer the opposite, so now you are royally stupid). There is a big pressure out there, they expect you to understand, and if you don’t understand, you are stupid and they begin treating you as one. In the end, conversations are much less dynamic. And groups of people are a real challenge.
Also, it's possible that there is an event that takes too much attention and even though you put all your being in it you don’t understand a thing, so you stop paying attention. For example, places with too much noise, with too many people, with too many obstacles. Because it’s tiresome and there is no benefit. So your mind wanders. Trustworthy people order you to pay attention. Most think you are not interested. Lots of times you can’t even do two things at the same time. Eating or listening. Writing or listening. Looking or listening. There is an “or” and hardly an “and”. And in a world where dividing your attention is the norm and rarely the exception, it sucks. Sometimes when I go out to have lunch I eat first and listen after, I even put an interested face during the whole meal if circumstances are not suitable. I kid you not.
I’m not saying everything is impossible. I study Medicine and I’m not the only one in my circumstances who go on like that with challenging situations everyday. I have it all so interiorized I barely notice. I've learnt to appreciate myself and how to work hard. I've had a life of practice to develop some compensations and tricks and even to disguise it all. I don't have a weird voice so if I don't tell, I can pass myself off as normal (or stupid if I fail in my answer, so I just say I'm sleepy or if I'm in a good mood or it could bring some kind of benefit I explain). But if I have difficulty coping with it all, imagine how a really deaf person manages. Or tries to. Or fails. But be careful, mothers at pre-school used to look at me with pity but those same mothers began looking at me with envy in a few years. People with handicaps are the ones who hold the most ability to amaze because it's utterly unexpected. But think... where would those people be if they had no handicap at all?
Another detail. Songs suck. Words are stretched out or said in a hurry and there is a background music/noise. I always look for the lyrics, because I can barely understand them, even in my own language. I can appreciate a good song, though. But I can live without them. I guess what takes too much effort is less searched for.
So, this is a romance book. Why the hell I'm talking about all of this?
Elijah is partly deaf. I’m deaf but not deaf, so in the end I felt some kind of empathy for him, which is not at all due to him being deaf but to the ability of the author to portray a real deaf person. I like Elijah and his deafness is very well explained and demonstrated. It's not only the way the author says it, but it's showed throughout the story. In every conversation. In every soliloquy. In every act. Elijah is ordered to pay attention constantly. Elijah doesn't understand songs. Elijah thinks too much. Elijah's world is too small. Elijah retreats into his shell. Elijah has self-steem problems. Elijah has problems with conversations and how he had never learnt the skill to talk to someone like that. Elijah feels less than the average person and people think Elijah is less than the average person. Elijah thinks and acts and has a perspective you can expect to find in a deaf person. If you read this book, be aware you are reading the living definition of deafness.
Except the submissive facet. That's a different matter altogether. I'm not really a BDSM fan, but I can't complain at all about his tastes. I understood them, the humiliation, the pain, the pleasure he felt. And the fury and shame and shyness. And his determination. In the beginning he's the guy who lets everybody take advantage of. He crawls. But something happens, and suddenly there is a fire in him. And he grows as a person. I think Elijah is a quite complete and developed character, no matter how you look at it.
About the story, I can't complain either. I liked the Crane/Grady conflict. Dr. Carter/God conflict. And I liked Grady a lot, although it would be hard for me to believe his attitude in real life. No problem here, he was utterly enchanted with Elijah. It's a veneration I understood and felt believable.
There are unexpected but very sweet moments. And the last pages are just perfect.
All in all, a great western romance book. And a great character.
Read
October 21, 2014DNF at 50% and no rating.
Okay, this book was just not for me. I ADORE Lisa Henry, but some books tweak the right buttons and some don't. I know I could have pushed myself to finish, but I wasn't really enjoying it so I decided against it.
It wasn't that this book was so disturbing, though it had it's very dark moments, but I found it to be such a downer story. I kept reading with a feeling of dread, like something bad was going to happen around every corner. Though Bliss and When All the World Sleeps were darkish, I had less of a problem with them for some reason.
Though this book was well written, I just am not motivated to keep going. It was too depressing for my tastes.
**Copy provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review**
Okay, this book was just not for me. I ADORE Lisa Henry, but some books tweak the right buttons and some don't. I know I could have pushed myself to finish, but I wasn't really enjoying it so I decided against it.
It wasn't that this book was so disturbing, though it had it's very dark moments, but I found it to be such a downer story. I kept reading with a feeling of dread, like something bad was going to happen around every corner. Though Bliss and When All the World Sleeps were darkish, I had less of a problem with them for some reason.
Though this book was well written, I just am not motivated to keep going. It was too depressing for my tastes.
**Copy provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review**
March 26, 2020
Sweet...this is not.
Harsh, raw, unyielding would be more appropriate descriptions.
I wasn't sure I was going to make it through.
Near the halfway mark, I wavered and wondered if I could/should continue.
It was...hard for me.
Then at 55%, I got the boon I wanted and things picked up for me.
I didn't feel so helpless anymore.
The ending was HFN but I felt hopeful...and that in itself felt like a gift.
Check out the blurb if you're interested and know that dub-con and pain are part of this journey.
Hitch on at your own risk.
Harsh, raw, unyielding would be more appropriate descriptions.
I wasn't sure I was going to make it through.
Near the halfway mark, I wavered and wondered if I could/should continue.
It was...hard for me.
Then at 55%, I got the boon I wanted and things picked up for me.
I didn't feel so helpless anymore.
The ending was HFN but I felt hopeful...and that in itself felt like a gift.
Check out the blurb if you're interested and know that dub-con and pain are part of this journey.
Hitch on at your own risk.
honestly-ill-never-get-around-to-it
April 25, 2014I'm going to be the 4,000th person to say, "I don't usually read historicals but . . . "
If it was by Lisa Henry I'd read a cereal box.
If it was by Lisa Henry I'd read a cereal box.
October 29, 2014
**ARC courtesy of Riptide Publishing via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review**
In Wyoming, 1870
We are presented with the story of a broken boy…
This book is a western journey through the hurt of a boy… who thinks he is always an “outsider”, always seen himself as a burden, his self-esteem is awful… until he meets Crane, because of his disability he lost all the confidence, and people think he is stupid, but al he wants his someone who sees him!! Grady and Crane could not be more different but they had one thing in common, both of them saw Elijah!
Grady Mullins is so sweet, he feels a tenderness toward Elijah that he's never felt for another before, he keep things together for Elijah!
Harlan Cane the owner of the Empire Saloon,He makes my skin crawl(but I like it), he’s a user and abuser and he fits perfectly into the setting, he delivers all that dark, Elijah’s hidden desire, there was no romance in what he was doing with Elijah.
Therefore, loved the characters, the setting, and the plot. There is a good deal of drama in the story, but it never approaches exaggerated. This is a gritty story with a “relief ending”!
Thanks for the fantastic ride, Lisa Henry.
In Wyoming, 1870
We are presented with the story of a broken boy…
This book is a western journey through the hurt of a boy… who thinks he is always an “outsider”, always seen himself as a burden, his self-esteem is awful… until he meets Crane, because of his disability he lost all the confidence, and people think he is stupid, but al he wants his someone who sees him!! Grady and Crane could not be more different but they had one thing in common, both of them saw Elijah!
Grady Mullins is so sweet, he feels a tenderness toward Elijah that he's never felt for another before, he keep things together for Elijah!
Harlan Cane the owner of the Empire Saloon,He makes my skin crawl(but I like it), he’s a user and abuser and he fits perfectly into the setting, he delivers all that dark, Elijah’s hidden desire, there was no romance in what he was doing with Elijah.
Therefore, loved the characters, the setting, and the plot. There is a good deal of drama in the story, but it never approaches exaggerated. This is a gritty story with a “relief ending”!
Thanks for the fantastic ride, Lisa Henry.
September 30, 2014
Grit, and bear it.
Western devotees will be pleased with this one. The sense of place is perfect; you can taste the dust in your mouth and the crap whiskey burning it's way through. Just like the settlers here, you've got to fight to get that ending--No free lunch here. You gotta want it and be willing to suffer for it.
Elijah is a wonderful MC. At a time when a physical impairment was a severe disadvantage he does the best he can, but life is not easy and honestly, it can be downright cruel. He takes what he gets because he knows no different and wishing wouldn't change anything.
But... then there's a bright spot, and frankly, it looks too good to be true.
Grady. He's the quintessential western male. Driven and bending rules to make enough to live. He's not perfect, but he has clearly defined morals; one can nudge the line, but not obliterate it. Grady knows who he is and what he wants. And he's got his eye on something.
This is a gritty story that doesn't shy away from the ugly realities of life. This is not sanitized for your delicate sensibilities, but it is powerful and grim. And each small success is worthy of celebration. Elijah and Grady's fates, like everyone, are held in a delicate balance. More than a couple breath-holding moments here and sighs of relief.
Loved the characters (even secondary and tertiary ones), the setting, and the plot, which didn't rely on any overwrought events. There is a good deal of drama in the story, but it never approaches melodramatic.
Overall, a true to form western that delivers
Favorite quote:
Western devotees will be pleased with this one. The sense of place is perfect; you can taste the dust in your mouth and the crap whiskey burning it's way through. Just like the settlers here, you've got to fight to get that ending--No free lunch here. You gotta want it and be willing to suffer for it.
Elijah is a wonderful MC. At a time when a physical impairment was a severe disadvantage he does the best he can, but life is not easy and honestly, it can be downright cruel. He takes what he gets because he knows no different and wishing wouldn't change anything.
But... then there's a bright spot, and frankly, it looks too good to be true.
Grady. He's the quintessential western male. Driven and bending rules to make enough to live. He's not perfect, but he has clearly defined morals; one can nudge the line, but not obliterate it. Grady knows who he is and what he wants. And he's got his eye on something.
The hardest part in breaking a skittish horse was staying patient while it tired itself out.
This is a gritty story that doesn't shy away from the ugly realities of life. This is not sanitized for your delicate sensibilities, but it is powerful and grim. And each small success is worthy of celebration. Elijah and Grady's fates, like everyone, are held in a delicate balance. More than a couple breath-holding moments here and sighs of relief.
Loved the characters (even secondary and tertiary ones), the setting, and the plot, which didn't rely on any overwrought events. There is a good deal of drama in the story, but it never approaches melodramatic.
Overall, a true to form western that delivers
Favorite quote:
“Sometimes you gotta cut the past loose,” Grady said, “before it drags you down.”
October 21, 2014
The nuances of this 1870's historical romance are unusual in the M/M I've read so far - Elijah Carter is a troubled young man, haunted by both his losses and by the "unnatural" desires he finds it harder and harder to fight. He's an orphan, partially deafened by the scarlet fever that killed the rest of his family. The doctor who adopted him is a good man, but also a sad man, still grieving the loss of his own wife and daughter years ago. Elijah is painfully certain that his own deafness and the disdain the townsfolk feel for him due to his garbled speech make him damaged goods. He's not fit to replace Dr. Carter's lost family, not worthy of being a good man's son.
And even worse than his failings in speech and hearing is the growing awareness that he desires men in ways he can't quite define. Not just for sex but for pain, for clarity, for someone who will see every part of him and treat him as he deserves, as he craves to be handled. Saloon and brothel owner Harlan Crane sees something in Elijah - the dark desire in Crane speaks to the dark need in Elijah. Even after meeting Grady, a cowboy with a gentler interest in him, there's something about Crane that pulls Elijah back. And then there is one more disaster for Elijah to face.
This book moves slowly, pulling the reader through the confusion of self-doubt and need that is Elijah's awakening. There is dubious consent, and uncertainty, and the emotional pain of a young man who is very lost in his own head. Elijah knows he needs something, that he can't continue on as Dr. Carter's good boy, attending services on Sunday, helping in the surgery, and bringing in extra money working for the local butcher. He's drowning in that life.
He needs something to pull him from the floodwaters that are dragging him under. But both Crane and Grady are risky saviors; Crane is solid but sharp, like a lava rock that Elijah can cling to but only if he wants to cut his hands to shreds; Grady's like smooth floating driftwood, gentle to the touch but uncertain support. When Elijah's world is shaken, he has to make choices about how to become his own man. They're not always the right choices.
I was intrigued by this story, unwilling to put it down. It's not a comfortable read, and the end is just a beginning, but it made me think and feel in a different way from most books I've read recently. Well worth the time.
And even worse than his failings in speech and hearing is the growing awareness that he desires men in ways he can't quite define. Not just for sex but for pain, for clarity, for someone who will see every part of him and treat him as he deserves, as he craves to be handled. Saloon and brothel owner Harlan Crane sees something in Elijah - the dark desire in Crane speaks to the dark need in Elijah. Even after meeting Grady, a cowboy with a gentler interest in him, there's something about Crane that pulls Elijah back. And then there is one more disaster for Elijah to face.
This book moves slowly, pulling the reader through the confusion of self-doubt and need that is Elijah's awakening. There is dubious consent, and uncertainty, and the emotional pain of a young man who is very lost in his own head. Elijah knows he needs something, that he can't continue on as Dr. Carter's good boy, attending services on Sunday, helping in the surgery, and bringing in extra money working for the local butcher. He's drowning in that life.
He needs something to pull him from the floodwaters that are dragging him under. But both Crane and Grady are risky saviors; Crane is solid but sharp, like a lava rock that Elijah can cling to but only if he wants to cut his hands to shreds; Grady's like smooth floating driftwood, gentle to the touch but uncertain support. When Elijah's world is shaken, he has to make choices about how to become his own man. They're not always the right choices.
I was intrigued by this story, unwilling to put it down. It's not a comfortable read, and the end is just a beginning, but it made me think and feel in a different way from most books I've read recently. Well worth the time.
September 30, 2014
***4.5 stars***
Elijah is a lonely and isolated young man in Sweetwater, Wyoming, 1870. Scarlet Fever left him an orphan and partially deaf. People in town believe being deaf means being slow and so they treat him as such. Elijah would rather talk to people as little as possible than to be made fun of for his speech. He also feels like he’s a poor substitute for the family his adopted father lost before taking him in. This all leaves Elijah feeling like he doesn’t belong, like he’ll always be apart.
What Elijah desperately wants is for someone to see him. So when Harlan Crane sees what desires Elijah really has, Elijah is drawn to him again and again. Elijah craves the pain that inexplicably gives him pleasure that Harlan provides even if it leaves him full of self loathing.
But there’s another man who also sees Elijah. Grady is a cattle rustler who has dreams of owning his own ranch. He is instantly attracted to Elijah but takes it slow with him for fear of scaring him away. Grady wants to show Elijah that Grady can give him everything he needs. I loved that Grady was gentle and loving but still understood that Elijah craved pain and dominance. He was able to give Elijah what he craved and give him a satisfaction and pleasure that Elijah never found with Harlan.
I truly loved this book. It's about Elijah’s journey to accept himself and his desires. There is so much emotion in this book. It’s sad and hopeful and just so damn good.
**A copy was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.**
Elijah is a lonely and isolated young man in Sweetwater, Wyoming, 1870. Scarlet Fever left him an orphan and partially deaf. People in town believe being deaf means being slow and so they treat him as such. Elijah would rather talk to people as little as possible than to be made fun of for his speech. He also feels like he’s a poor substitute for the family his adopted father lost before taking him in. This all leaves Elijah feeling like he doesn’t belong, like he’ll always be apart.
What Elijah desperately wants is for someone to see him. So when Harlan Crane sees what desires Elijah really has, Elijah is drawn to him again and again. Elijah craves the pain that inexplicably gives him pleasure that Harlan provides even if it leaves him full of self loathing.
But there’s another man who also sees Elijah. Grady is a cattle rustler who has dreams of owning his own ranch. He is instantly attracted to Elijah but takes it slow with him for fear of scaring him away. Grady wants to show Elijah that Grady can give him everything he needs. I loved that Grady was gentle and loving but still understood that Elijah craved pain and dominance. He was able to give Elijah what he craved and give him a satisfaction and pleasure that Elijah never found with Harlan.
I truly loved this book. It's about Elijah’s journey to accept himself and his desires. There is so much emotion in this book. It’s sad and hopeful and just so damn good.
**A copy was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.**
September 12, 2014
Wyoming 1870; what was I expecting to read and was it there? Cowboys? ~ yes! Saloons? ~ yes! Wagon trains? ~ yes! Gold miners? ~ yes! Shooting? ~ yes! Rustlers? ~ yes! Sherriffs? ~ yes! Native Americans? ~ mentioned, so yes! So all the ingredients are there for a great western.
So what wasn’t I expecting? Elijah!..... I mean Elijah!…...OMG, Elijah!
From the very first chapter Elijah totally stole my heart. Sweet, bullied, kind hearted, hurting, good natured Elijah. I wanted to hold him, hug him, comfort him, adopt him, hold his hand….so I had to make do with my Kindle as a poor substitute instead. This character seriously got under my skin from the very first chapter, stayed there and made his home there, thanks to the powerful writing from Lisa Henry.
Hard times and death was only a hair’s breadth away. Elijah was orphaned due to his family contracting scarlet fever while journeying on a wagon train. He survived but it left him all but deaf at a very young age. He was taken in by Dr. Carter by a loving and caring man who treated Elijah like a son, he too had lost his wife and daughter. Due to this he can’t talk clearly and obviously sounds a little afflicted or funny. This was a time when it was hard to have a disability of any sort. So people assume he is simple, stupid, shy or all three and treat him cruelly. Especially Dawson the butcher who he works for. Bullied and shunned except for Dr. Carter who is patient and loving and teaches him to cope to the best of his ability. This poor boy, I just so wanted to comfort him, but he isn’t as innocent as it may first appear. He knows that he is different and this puts him in a total emotional conflict that just ripped my heart out! Coping with a disability all his life has somewhat knocked all the confidence out of the boy, but on the other hand there is a much deeper and darker secret lurking in him that he is keeping only to himself.
Dawson slaughters the cattle that a band of cowboys, the Mullins boys all cousins, bring to him during the night. Why? Well, I think you can guess. It is here that Grady notices Elijah first but doesn’t approach him until much later.
Now we get to the bad guys, Dawson is absolutely objectionable, but Harlan Cane the owner of the Empire Saloon just made my skin crawl. He practically owns half the town by fair or foul means, more foul than anything I reckon and money without end due to his Saloon and whores who work there. Elijah first makes contact with him after he is given a letter after work one night to deliver to Harlan Cane. Even though Elijah knows he shouldn’t go, he goes anyway and then the worst happens, or is it? I was so not ready for what came next………
Cane can read Elijah like a book, manipulative bastard that he is and knows he can get Elijah to do what he wants. Well, this led to the first sex scene and I must admit when I first started I wasn’t very sure at all. It felt at first like Cane was sexually abusing Elijah, forcing him to have sex against his will, certainly pushed my boundaries for a while until you get into Elijah’s head and realise he actually wants it. I started screaming at my Kindle, “Nooooo….Elijah, don’t do this!!! Get out! The man is just detestable pond life!” However, I guess power and money talks and Elijah does his beckoning. But Elijah, poor Elijah, he is so broken he sees the sex with Cane as a form of punishment for all his failings, but enjoys it all the same. Now we have the contradiction and realise, oh.... maybe he isn’t as innocent as first thought. The boy is seriously mixed up in more ways than I can go into, but the only way he knows how to get what he needs is to let Cane do with him what he wants. Here have the darker side of a Sub / Dom relationship, the DOM (Cane) not caring one bit about Elijah’s feelings or well being, but Elijah needy all the same. Lisa writes perfectly, emotionally and so vividly she personally took me to a limit that was uncomfortable but still bearable. There’s a thin line between what could be classed today as rape, what Cane did with Elijah the first time, but it isn’t once you understand how Elijah wants and needs this. How he feeds his pain and hurt in a masochistic way through letting Cane treat him badly. Exceptionally powerful writing at a psychological level that really took me to places I had never been. For someone expecting a nice little flowery, vanilla romance ~ then forget it! This book is dark, raw and gritty, especially where this relationship is concerned.
So what wasn’t I expecting? Elijah!..... I mean Elijah!…...OMG, Elijah!
From the very first chapter Elijah totally stole my heart. Sweet, bullied, kind hearted, hurting, good natured Elijah. I wanted to hold him, hug him, comfort him, adopt him, hold his hand….so I had to make do with my Kindle as a poor substitute instead. This character seriously got under my skin from the very first chapter, stayed there and made his home there, thanks to the powerful writing from Lisa Henry.
Hard times and death was only a hair’s breadth away. Elijah was orphaned due to his family contracting scarlet fever while journeying on a wagon train. He survived but it left him all but deaf at a very young age. He was taken in by Dr. Carter by a loving and caring man who treated Elijah like a son, he too had lost his wife and daughter. Due to this he can’t talk clearly and obviously sounds a little afflicted or funny. This was a time when it was hard to have a disability of any sort. So people assume he is simple, stupid, shy or all three and treat him cruelly. Especially Dawson the butcher who he works for. Bullied and shunned except for Dr. Carter who is patient and loving and teaches him to cope to the best of his ability. This poor boy, I just so wanted to comfort him, but he isn’t as innocent as it may first appear. He knows that he is different and this puts him in a total emotional conflict that just ripped my heart out! Coping with a disability all his life has somewhat knocked all the confidence out of the boy, but on the other hand there is a much deeper and darker secret lurking in him that he is keeping only to himself.
Dawson slaughters the cattle that a band of cowboys, the Mullins boys all cousins, bring to him during the night. Why? Well, I think you can guess. It is here that Grady notices Elijah first but doesn’t approach him until much later.
Now we get to the bad guys, Dawson is absolutely objectionable, but Harlan Cane the owner of the Empire Saloon just made my skin crawl. He practically owns half the town by fair or foul means, more foul than anything I reckon and money without end due to his Saloon and whores who work there. Elijah first makes contact with him after he is given a letter after work one night to deliver to Harlan Cane. Even though Elijah knows he shouldn’t go, he goes anyway and then the worst happens, or is it? I was so not ready for what came next………
Cane can read Elijah like a book, manipulative bastard that he is and knows he can get Elijah to do what he wants. Well, this led to the first sex scene and I must admit when I first started I wasn’t very sure at all. It felt at first like Cane was sexually abusing Elijah, forcing him to have sex against his will, certainly pushed my boundaries for a while until you get into Elijah’s head and realise he actually wants it. I started screaming at my Kindle, “Nooooo….Elijah, don’t do this!!! Get out! The man is just detestable pond life!” However, I guess power and money talks and Elijah does his beckoning. But Elijah, poor Elijah, he is so broken he sees the sex with Cane as a form of punishment for all his failings, but enjoys it all the same. Now we have the contradiction and realise, oh.... maybe he isn’t as innocent as first thought. The boy is seriously mixed up in more ways than I can go into, but the only way he knows how to get what he needs is to let Cane do with him what he wants. Here have the darker side of a Sub / Dom relationship, the DOM (Cane) not caring one bit about Elijah’s feelings or well being, but Elijah needy all the same. Lisa writes perfectly, emotionally and so vividly she personally took me to a limit that was uncomfortable but still bearable. There’s a thin line between what could be classed today as rape, what Cane did with Elijah the first time, but it isn’t once you understand how Elijah wants and needs this. How he feeds his pain and hurt in a masochistic way through letting Cane treat him badly. Exceptionally powerful writing at a psychological level that really took me to places I had never been. For someone expecting a nice little flowery, vanilla romance ~ then forget it! This book is dark, raw and gritty, especially where this relationship is concerned.
“You’ll hurt me, and I’ll let you. I’ll like it. I’ll show my belly, you’ll rip me apart, and I’ll want more. Always more. Elijah didn’t know if he should be afraid or not. He wasn’t. Crane would punish him, would hurt him, and Elijah would love it. These were the roles they played in this strange game.”Then there comes the hurt, guilt and turmoil in Elijah. He is ashamed of this because he feels he isn’t worthy of Dr. Carter’s love as a son, he feels this is his only lot in life. So hurt and guilt turn into self-hate and disillusion, which in turn leads to one very damaged character that I just wanted to hold and say there is a better world. Elijah reduced me to tears so often I was beyond consolable. Oh and how I HATED Cane and Dawson.
"Elijah wasn’t the son that Dr. Carter had wished for. He wasn’t a son anyone would wish for."Well, when Grady does come on the scene and they find each other it is as though Grady senses all this anger, hurt, guilt and is the comfort blanket that Elijah needs. Grady, what a wonderful person, caring and patient with Elijah. He just fell in love with Elijah hook, line and sinker. OK, Grady is a rough and tough cowboy and the words I love you are never spoken, this would not be quite appropriate for this time. But Lisa builds in other expressions that don’t take away the nature of the characters and the time, but leaves the reader in doubt how much these two really do come to love each other. You may be wondering what Dr. Carter might be thinking of all this, well he never really gets to knows and something happens that broke my heart for Elijah totally. I was left with tears running down my face and blubbing into my Kindle.
“His old self was gone, and his dream-self – laughing, confident, clever – was nothing but a lie. Somewhere in the gap between the two was this Elijah, the new Elijah.”Grady and Elijah find an appropriate HEA for the time which for those who know me and my reviews, the final solution of the relationship always needs to be in keeping historically and this was again definitely the case. I have mainly concentrated in this review on the emotional level as I can’t describe enough how this book made me feel. There is, however, a carefully developed plot, nicely paced and keeps the reader interested from the word go too. Packed full of western style scenes and behaviour, I could almost smell the sawdust on the floor in The Empire, along with the whiskey and smoke. Cane gave me the creeps and made me want to throw up, totally detestable character. Dawson made me livid and angry the way he treats Elijah. Grady? I wanted to hug him for basically rescuing my Elijah, a young man about to go totally off the rails due to his experiences and the way he is treated. He was on a one way collision course to oblivion, but Grady manages to pull him back from the edge and for that alone I could have kissed the man.
“Elijah closed his eyes as tears stung them. Wasn’t supposed to go like this. He wasn’t supposed to be undone by kindness.”Lisa took me on an emotional journey of discovery with this book that will stay with me for quite a while. A roller-coaster ride of emotions. I LOVED Elijah, I’ve never experienced so many emotions in one character. One character that I will not be forgetting for a long time, stole my heart completely and will be keeping it for quite a while.
October 9, 2014
Sweetwater is not a light read or a traditional romance. It’s gritty and painful to read at times. And like all other books I’ve read so far by Lisa Henry, it tells a story I won’t be able to forget any time soon.
The book is written in two POVs - Elijah and Grady’s but there’s a third character that is just as important – Crane.
I loved Elijah’s voice. I could see how lonely and claustrophobic his world was, I understood all his fears and why he thought he deserved pain.
Grady and Crane could not be more different and yet they had one thing in common - both of them saw Elijah despite his silence. But if Grady was the unexpected light in Elijah’s world, Crane was the darkness he wanted to disappear in.
“He wasn’t supposed to be undone by kindness. Elijah couldn’t afford that now. He wanted to hurt.”
Once again I must say how good Lisa Henry is at building anticipation – I felt from the first pages that something bad was going to happen that would change Elijah’s life completely. And I was not disappointed. So when it did happen, the question was could Elijah accept he was worthy of kindness or would he give up and believe that all he was was a “simple deaf cunt”.
The writing allowed me to get absorbed in the atmosphere of a small town in 1870 and the amazing characters made me turn the pages impatiently.
What I didn’t like was how quickly Grady fell for Elijah and how rare their interactions were in the first half of the book. However, the second half compensated greatly.
The way Sweetwater ended made me think that there will be a continuation of Elijah and Grady’s story, and if there is, I’d love to read it.
September 29, 2014
Ohhhhhh, read this in one sitting! Great mix of plot and romance.
I really felt for Elijah, and got that prickly sense of unease and curdling anticipation while the story gently worked up to a climax. This book contains themes that some may not like, such as violence and dubious consent, but I feel they worked in favor for the story and the setting. As another reviewer remarked, what is really great about the characters is that none of them are wholly good, and neither are they wholly bad.
Elijah. I sympathized with him.
Grady. Yeah, he fell for Elijah at first sight, but I liked his way of warming Elijah up. I kind of wish it wasn't so insta, but okay.
Crane though . . . Crane was the most fascinating character of the bunch, and . . . I think, um, actually, yeah, I kinda loved him the most. I WANT his story so Baaaaaaaad. Because there is so much more to him, it comes out in the slightest of ways, and then at the end . . . I won't spoil, but he may appear to be one of the villians of the piece, I think not. I think he's misunderstood. I think there's a LOT more to him. Yeah, I just really want his story. I want to know what's going on in his head.
D/s themes aren't really my thing in general, except, sometimes they are. Like this time. I think I like it when it has dominant themes that it goes ALL OUT. Yeah, I like all out or nothing. D/s for light entertainment doesn't really do it for me. But for a dark read . . . yikes. :)
I really felt for Elijah, and got that prickly sense of unease and curdling anticipation while the story gently worked up to a climax. This book contains themes that some may not like, such as violence and dubious consent, but I feel they worked in favor for the story and the setting. As another reviewer remarked, what is really great about the characters is that none of them are wholly good, and neither are they wholly bad.
Elijah. I sympathized with him.
Grady. Yeah, he fell for Elijah at first sight, but I liked his way of warming Elijah up. I kind of wish it wasn't so insta, but okay.
Crane though . . . Crane was the most fascinating character of the bunch, and . . . I think, um, actually, yeah, I kinda loved him the most. I WANT his story so Baaaaaaaad. Because there is so much more to him, it comes out in the slightest of ways, and then at the end . . . I won't spoil, but he may appear to be one of the villians of the piece, I think not. I think he's misunderstood. I think there's a LOT more to him. Yeah, I just really want his story. I want to know what's going on in his head.
D/s themes aren't really my thing in general, except, sometimes they are. Like this time. I think I like it when it has dominant themes that it goes ALL OUT. Yeah, I like all out or nothing. D/s for light entertainment doesn't really do it for me. But for a dark read . . . yikes. :)
October 21, 2015
4.5 stars
Nobody can do tough and uncomfortable-making, squirm-in-your-seat storytelling quite like Lisa Henry. I'm thinking The Good Boy, Dark Space, but mostly, The Island. The list goes on... and Sweetwater is no exception. Here's a romance you gotta work for; there's nothing floofy here, you gotta wait for the pretty. I love that.
This ain’t Little Town on the Prairie.
Life is messy and crude, and often, not fair. Especially in a dusty boomtown of the late 19th century. Elijah Carter, orphaned at a young age, lives with his adopted father, the town doctor, in hard-scrabble South Pass City-- a town that thrives on the hopes and greed of gold prospecting. Making life harder for Elijah is that he is seriously hearing-impaired from a childhood bout of scarlet fever and has born the brunt of ignorant bullying because of his ‘affliction’.
Elijah is young and tender (think ripe for the picking) and in the throws of a fiercely awakened sexuality. With a deviant, forbidden twist. For such a young, sheltered lad, he has a pretty kinky bent. Elijah has also caught the eye of the much older, wealthy saloon and brothel owner, Harlan Crane. Who is of a like mind and seems to know just what Elijah craves (think rode hard and put away wet).
Now, if you’ve ever watched the great TV western, Deadwood, starring the wonderful Ian McShane, you’ll know something of South Pass and Harlan Crane. Tough, gritty, winner takes all says it all. Like that TV drama, Sweetwater gives us a wonderful sense of place and a supporting cast of characters with depth that help sculpt and color Elijah’s story.
I love, love, love it when the bad guy has some 3D meat to him and Henry doesn’t skimp on the extra sauce with Crane. He’s a user and abuser and he fits perfectly into the setting. Crane is a man who answers to no one, a man who is supremely confident in all his deviancies and that is the allure for Elijah. For Elijah, he is a seductive boogeyman who holds total command, delivering all that dark, hidden desire. Do we like Crane? No. But he makes a worthy opponent.
Elijah has certainly felt the brunt of being hearing impaired. He’s always on the outside because of it. And his sexuality, which he barely understands leaves him even more confused. He only knows that he must have more of it even as he questions it. And it adds to his shame… because he loves his adopted father-- a kind and loving man-- but feels that he can’t live up to being the good boy he should be.
The story turns on this wonderful character-- on Elijah’s complexity, this curious mixture of innocence and a toughness earned through his disability. His inexperience and vulnerability. His loneliness and fascination with what he and Crane get up to in that room over the saloon. He is compelling; he draws us in and makes us cringe whenever Harlan gets his hands on him. Is it rape; is it dubiously consensual? The author loves to walk that tightrope between vulnerability and obsession, and consent, pulling our strings all along the way.
There is a sweet spot of sunshine in all this. When cattle rustler, Grady Mullins also takes an interest in Elijah, we get some well-needed hope and tenderness for Elijah. But, again, you have to work for-- the easy path is never taken. Those parts of the story where Elijah and Grady struggled with their choices held me mesmerized, heart drumming, breath held.
There were some minor quibbles: the timing of the climatic violent act - why then? (other than plot device), Grady leaving Elijah when he needed him the most, and the handling of Grady’s family at the end. But I was thoroughly held captive, hoping and wishing for Elijah, wanting a better day for him. The ending is... interesting; it has more of a ‘happy for now’ feel to it. Which fits with the flavor of the story, when you think about it. This is really just the beginning for Elijah.
A copy of this book was provided by the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Visit Love Bytes Reviews for this and other reviews, author interviews, and general fabulousness:
January 1, 2022
Not your typical romance structure, which could be good or bad depending on what you’re looking for.
I picked it because I was hoping for one of the “dark” Lisa Henry books, since they’re the ones of hers that I seem to like the most, and it more or less delivered what I was looking for, even though my expectations weren’t perfectly aligned with the reality of the story. It had an unusual MC and the setting wasn’t among the place/time periods overused in the genre, which made it a good fitting for the morally ambiguous type of characters that populate this story. The romance is there and there are some very touching moments, but don’t expect fuzzy feelings, this is not the right book if you’re in the mood for them. I enjoyed the few sweet moments all the more because of the contrast with the harshness of , so for me the story delivered.
Content warning:
I picked it because I was hoping for one of the “dark” Lisa Henry books, since they’re the ones of hers that I seem to like the most, and it more or less delivered what I was looking for, even though my expectations weren’t perfectly aligned with the reality of the story. It had an unusual MC and the setting wasn’t among the place/time periods overused in the genre, which made it a good fitting for the morally ambiguous type of characters that populate this story. The romance is there and there are some very touching moments, but don’t expect fuzzy feelings, this is not the right book if you’re in the mood for them. I enjoyed the few sweet moments all the more because of the contrast with the harshness of , so for me the story delivered.
Content warning:
November 16, 2014
Full Reviewage on Prism Book Alliance, 4.5 stars, YO
To live in a world where your interpretation of nearly everyone else’s words and gestures is nearly always preceded by questions and second guessing… my mind was having trouble keeping pace, cramping in empathy for Elijah. It’s very difficult to imagine how exhausting it was for him to feel this suffocating uncertainty every minute of every day.
Grady. Grady Mullins. A rustler. A cattle rustler who notices Elijah and can’t get rid of the thought of him from that moment on. Grady is smart, caring, and tries to keep things together in his own world of theft and danger, all while wanting to keep his younger cousins – and co-rustlers – safe. They all have dreams but they seem to be stuck in the deep, thick mud of their midnight marauding.
I takes a tender heart to create someone like Elijah, to hear his voice and make it loud enough for everyone else to hear and feel and embrace. The same is true for Doctor Carter, and Grady for that matter. For all of the pain and suffering and loss, there is a great heart beating all throughout this story.
Harlan Crane. I won’t say much about him, despite his rather large role in a segment of Elijah’s life. He is someone who recognizes and indulges a part of Elijah that is elemental, and yet allows Elijah to realize something that surprises, frightens and enlightens. Sometimes the pain flips a switch we didn’t even know existed.
There were some repetitive points made along this road, especially within Grady’s inner dialogue. Knowing Grady as we get to, it’s rather realistic. The thoughts he keeps having, wondering about himself, his life, and Elijah, they’re all understandable. Despite this, I found myself questioning the need for them. To me, they lessened rather than heightened the strength of Grady’s point of view. And believe me, there is strength there.
Can I say spectacular writing?? Because spectacular writing. And why is that? Because this author can translate emotion for the page, it wraps around me in ways I understand and absorb at a gut level. Couple this with time and place, and I’m happy. With no reluctance, I’m wallowing in the world of Sweetwater. Beautiful. Slowly smoldering and darkening. Wildness in the Wild West.
As much as this is Elijah’s story, and it is, I find myself drawn to Grady. He’s still a bit of a mystery at the end of this story. I would have liked more of him, not just because of who he seems to be but as a balance to Elijah and his very internal existence. That is, until my heart was ripped out.
I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I was grasping for more while reading this. I let this settle for a few days, picturing my thoughts attempting to land. Barely scratching the surface of what feels like an endlessly deep story, those thoughts found it difficult to coalesce. Given some of the repetitive thought and dialogue, maybe the author was struggling, reaching, still discovering these characters and their voices. This definitely feels like just the beginning for Elijah and Grady.
Make no mistake about it, this is an open and obvious love letter to the Wild West genre, to this time period and its anything goes yet stiflingly rule-laden world. I share this love. Always have, always will.
I will read any and all journeys set in this dusty, mucky, starry and wide open place that Ms. Henry chooses to share with us. There is an inescapably beautiful quality to her writing and I have no immunity from it, nor do I wish to have any, not an ounce. Her heart and soul are on display here.
I don’t know if we have more coming about Elijah and Grady but I hope we do. No pun intended, but I know there is a goldmine with their lives written all over in and about those dark, slippery and shiny walls. I’ll be there for every word of it. Make no mistake about that. ;)
To live in a world where your interpretation of nearly everyone else’s words and gestures is nearly always preceded by questions and second guessing… my mind was having trouble keeping pace, cramping in empathy for Elijah. It’s very difficult to imagine how exhausting it was for him to feel this suffocating uncertainty every minute of every day.
Grady. Grady Mullins. A rustler. A cattle rustler who notices Elijah and can’t get rid of the thought of him from that moment on. Grady is smart, caring, and tries to keep things together in his own world of theft and danger, all while wanting to keep his younger cousins – and co-rustlers – safe. They all have dreams but they seem to be stuck in the deep, thick mud of their midnight marauding.
I takes a tender heart to create someone like Elijah, to hear his voice and make it loud enough for everyone else to hear and feel and embrace. The same is true for Doctor Carter, and Grady for that matter. For all of the pain and suffering and loss, there is a great heart beating all throughout this story.
Harlan Crane. I won’t say much about him, despite his rather large role in a segment of Elijah’s life. He is someone who recognizes and indulges a part of Elijah that is elemental, and yet allows Elijah to realize something that surprises, frightens and enlightens. Sometimes the pain flips a switch we didn’t even know existed.
There were some repetitive points made along this road, especially within Grady’s inner dialogue. Knowing Grady as we get to, it’s rather realistic. The thoughts he keeps having, wondering about himself, his life, and Elijah, they’re all understandable. Despite this, I found myself questioning the need for them. To me, they lessened rather than heightened the strength of Grady’s point of view. And believe me, there is strength there.
Can I say spectacular writing?? Because spectacular writing. And why is that? Because this author can translate emotion for the page, it wraps around me in ways I understand and absorb at a gut level. Couple this with time and place, and I’m happy. With no reluctance, I’m wallowing in the world of Sweetwater. Beautiful. Slowly smoldering and darkening. Wildness in the Wild West.
As much as this is Elijah’s story, and it is, I find myself drawn to Grady. He’s still a bit of a mystery at the end of this story. I would have liked more of him, not just because of who he seems to be but as a balance to Elijah and his very internal existence. That is, until my heart was ripped out.
I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I was grasping for more while reading this. I let this settle for a few days, picturing my thoughts attempting to land. Barely scratching the surface of what feels like an endlessly deep story, those thoughts found it difficult to coalesce. Given some of the repetitive thought and dialogue, maybe the author was struggling, reaching, still discovering these characters and their voices. This definitely feels like just the beginning for Elijah and Grady.
Make no mistake about it, this is an open and obvious love letter to the Wild West genre, to this time period and its anything goes yet stiflingly rule-laden world. I share this love. Always have, always will.
I will read any and all journeys set in this dusty, mucky, starry and wide open place that Ms. Henry chooses to share with us. There is an inescapably beautiful quality to her writing and I have no immunity from it, nor do I wish to have any, not an ounce. Her heart and soul are on display here.
I don’t know if we have more coming about Elijah and Grady but I hope we do. No pun intended, but I know there is a goldmine with their lives written all over in and about those dark, slippery and shiny walls. I’ll be there for every word of it. Make no mistake about that. ;)
December 6, 2014
Lisa Henry, you are a star!! The feelz in this story, just phenomenal. Not a long review cos I've got lots to do, but this story will stay with me for quite a while.
The detail Lisa included in this one made me feel as though I was actually in Sweetwater, the grim conditions everyone had to endure in those days, and the fact that if you had any sort of disability at all, you were made fun of and ridiculed by most of the population. Grady was the exception to this rule in Sweetwater, didn't treat Elijah like an idiot cos of his deafness and always made sure that Elijah could see what he was saying, but could he help Elijah get rid of his guilt?? 5 stars from me, and let me just say Harlan Crane, I HATED you!!
ARC kindly provided by Riptide via Netgalley. Many thanks.
The detail Lisa included in this one made me feel as though I was actually in Sweetwater, the grim conditions everyone had to endure in those days, and the fact that if you had any sort of disability at all, you were made fun of and ridiculed by most of the population. Grady was the exception to this rule in Sweetwater, didn't treat Elijah like an idiot cos of his deafness and always made sure that Elijah could see what he was saying, but could he help Elijah get rid of his guilt?? 5 stars from me, and let me just say Harlan Crane, I HATED you!!
ARC kindly provided by Riptide via Netgalley. Many thanks.
March 1, 2016
3.75-ish stars.
I found myself feeling claustrophobic in Elijah's head. We see most of the story from his POV. There are a few Grady chapters, but they don't explain much, mostly that he doesn't want to have problems with the law, he is a kind man, travels/works with supportive (or at least understanding) cousins and he is obsessed with Elijah.
The problem with the lopsided perspective on things is that it doesn't provide enough depth to the secondary characters. Even Grady remains very sketchy. What drew him to Elijah? Love at first sight? Lust? Pity? I just don't get it.
Crane. I would love - love! - to know more about him. With all his meanness and bullying there is something else lurking under the surface and I was hoping it would reveal itself. But - no. It was a disappointment.
The ending was left open and for once I can't complain about it. At all.
I found myself feeling claustrophobic in Elijah's head. We see most of the story from his POV. There are a few Grady chapters, but they don't explain much, mostly that he doesn't want to have problems with the law, he is a kind man, travels/works with supportive (or at least understanding) cousins and he is obsessed with Elijah.
The problem with the lopsided perspective on things is that it doesn't provide enough depth to the secondary characters. Even Grady remains very sketchy. What drew him to Elijah? Love at first sight? Lust? Pity? I just don't get it.
Crane. I would love - love! - to know more about him. With all his meanness and bullying there is something else lurking under the surface and I was hoping it would reveal itself. But - no. It was a disappointment.
The ending was left open and for once I can't complain about it. At all.
February 1, 2015
*** DNF at 38% ***
I'm getting to think that just because an author writes one amazing book, doesn't mean all their books are good or at least readable :-( Not a realisation that is any fun, though...
Sweetwater... Okay, many loved this. I've seen all the high ratings... You can blame me then, though in this case, I feel it really is the book :-P
Here's why:
First reason: *Elijah is a dumb fuck, who isn't worth anything, especially not the love of his adoptive father. He therefore craves to be fucked and humiliated by Crane, which makes him feel so alive. Randomly insert glimpses into Grady, who we are to believe has the hots for Elijah. REPEAT FROM * Just have a look at my updates. I already thought it was repetitive at 24% of the book. At 38% I stopped reading, and in the meantime absolutely nothing new happened. REPEAT FROM *
Second reason: The narration style is a really, really bad choice, if you ask me. It's a third person narration, but so very close to Elijah. We are constantly told what he feels, what he thinks, what he does. REPEAT FROM * And that is the problem. WE ARE TOLD! Why am I not being shown his twisted feelings and urges for Crane? Why am I being told? Why am I not being shown that people treat him badly? I'm only being told... You get the picture right?
Third reason: If there was anything interesting happening between the REPEAT FROM *, this could still be an entertaining read. There isn't. Nada. Dull descriptions of everyday activities. Even the supposedly entertaining scenes are dull and boring.
Fourth reason: The world building... Descriptions were there, yes. It didn't get alive, however. Could I feel the dirty atmosphere in The Empire? Was I getting sick myself at the butchering scene. Nope. So very two-dimensional.
Fifth reason: Grady up until 38% is a shell. There's nothing to him. And again we are being told that he has the hots for Elijah, and that this is somehow more, that he is jealous. Why??? I don't feel it.
Now... the sex between Elijah and Crane... Beware: This is dub-con sex. People in RL would call it rape. It's still a bit hot. A bit. A bit.
Everything is a bit. Not enough. Or just too much of the same.
In case you were wondering, no, I do not recommend Sweetwater. 1 star
***
This book counts for my following reading challenges 2015:
- 100 books in total
- 20 books about a marginalised group
- 20 buddy reads
I'm getting to think that just because an author writes one amazing book, doesn't mean all their books are good or at least readable :-( Not a realisation that is any fun, though...
Sweetwater... Okay, many loved this. I've seen all the high ratings... You can blame me then, though in this case, I feel it really is the book :-P
Here's why:
First reason: *Elijah is a dumb fuck, who isn't worth anything, especially not the love of his adoptive father. He therefore craves to be fucked and humiliated by Crane, which makes him feel so alive. Randomly insert glimpses into Grady, who we are to believe has the hots for Elijah. REPEAT FROM * Just have a look at my updates. I already thought it was repetitive at 24% of the book. At 38% I stopped reading, and in the meantime absolutely nothing new happened. REPEAT FROM *
Second reason: The narration style is a really, really bad choice, if you ask me. It's a third person narration, but so very close to Elijah. We are constantly told what he feels, what he thinks, what he does. REPEAT FROM * And that is the problem. WE ARE TOLD! Why am I not being shown his twisted feelings and urges for Crane? Why am I being told? Why am I not being shown that people treat him badly? I'm only being told... You get the picture right?
Third reason: If there was anything interesting happening between the REPEAT FROM *, this could still be an entertaining read. There isn't. Nada. Dull descriptions of everyday activities. Even the supposedly entertaining scenes are dull and boring.
Fourth reason: The world building... Descriptions were there, yes. It didn't get alive, however. Could I feel the dirty atmosphere in The Empire? Was I getting sick myself at the butchering scene. Nope. So very two-dimensional.
Fifth reason: Grady up until 38% is a shell. There's nothing to him. And again we are being told that he has the hots for Elijah, and that this is somehow more, that he is jealous. Why??? I don't feel it.
Now... the sex between Elijah and Crane... Beware: This is dub-con sex. People in RL would call it rape. It's still a bit hot. A bit. A bit.
Everything is a bit. Not enough. Or just too much of the same.
In case you were wondering, no, I do not recommend Sweetwater. 1 star
***
This book counts for my following reading challenges 2015:
- 100 books in total
- 20 books about a marginalised group
- 20 buddy reads
March 22, 2017
'Sweetwater' is all about Elijah, his invisibility, the monster demons inside of him, his self-worth, and most of all his choices. A young man who is somewhat lost.'Young enough that he looked a little unfinished around the edges, like clay that hadn’t properly hardened yet. Not his usual sort. There was something about him though, something about the way he held himself, silent and watchful. Like he was keeping himself apart. Mostly deaf, the kid wasn’t aloof, wasn’t proud. He was just wrapped in silence was all, and not through any choice of his own.' His story manages to firmly grasp my heart and hold it firmly until the very end. I felt like I was a part of the story, looking over Elijah's shoulder,seeing the raw vulnerability underneath- all his pain and all his sorrow. And seeing this gritty Western world, which doesn't open it's arms to embrace him. The way people in a petty small-town treat him- cruelly, often carelessly. It's given a beautiful portrait of the atmosphere- 1870 Wyoming, where the saloon and brothel owners call the shots.' No difference between life and death but a single heartbeat, a single action, and a single moment in time. Nothing weighty at all'
I've read several books about deaf people, but they seemed kind of polished to be more accepted. Elijah Carter’s deafness felt very real- hard enough speaking without slurring, mumbling, or sounding simple. Dr. Carter lectured him: 'He shouldn’t stare. He shouldn’t mumble. He shouldn’t shout. He shouldn’t walk around with his head in the clouds.' Because Elijah rarely speaks to others outside of his adopted father, Dr. Carter, he’s a realistically isolated character. He obsesses. He lets his fantasies and his fears torture. He is portrayed incredibly well. Even thought I'm not really a BDSM fan, I got his submissiveness. There is something about being bound, about being hurt, that makes the pleasure better in the end. Overall his characterization is the beauty here, digging deep into his life.
This is a wonderfully well written and moving novel of personal demons being exorcised, and happiness triumphing. I recommend this dark and ultimately with a solid HFN.
I've read several books about deaf people, but they seemed kind of polished to be more accepted. Elijah Carter’s deafness felt very real- hard enough speaking without slurring, mumbling, or sounding simple. Dr. Carter lectured him: 'He shouldn’t stare. He shouldn’t mumble. He shouldn’t shout. He shouldn’t walk around with his head in the clouds.' Because Elijah rarely speaks to others outside of his adopted father, Dr. Carter, he’s a realistically isolated character. He obsesses. He lets his fantasies and his fears torture. He is portrayed incredibly well. Even thought I'm not really a BDSM fan, I got his submissiveness. There is something about being bound, about being hurt, that makes the pleasure better in the end. Overall his characterization is the beauty here, digging deep into his life.
This is a wonderfully well written and moving novel of personal demons being exorcised, and happiness triumphing. I recommend this dark and ultimately with a solid HFN.
February 3, 2015
I'm a whore for historicals, and Lisa Henry really made me feel like I was back in the dirty old West in a gold rush town. It's a tough world, and this is a gritty story that doesn't pull punches. I've seen other people say they found it depressing, but I didn't at all. I felt so much for Elijah, and his sad little life. I really liked Grady as well, the knight in scruffy boots that comes to town and falls for Elijah. I would have liked to have seen more interaction and connection between them before Grady was so taken with him, but it's a quibble.
The BDSM elements were well done, and Elijah's relationship with Crane was disturbing and compelling. Such great characters in this book. I loved Matt and Dr. Carter, and
The ending was perfect: hopeful and bright, but not sappy or OTT.
The BDSM elements were well done, and Elijah's relationship with Crane was disturbing and compelling. Such great characters in this book. I loved Matt and Dr. Carter, and
The ending was perfect: hopeful and bright, but not sappy or OTT.
April 15, 2024
"The stars burned bright in the cold. They felt close enough that Grady imagined he could reach up and snag them with his fingertips. Catch one, and the rest would follow like a string of Chinese lanterns."
Lately I've been searching for something with a little more meat on the bone than what I've been encountering with new releases. So I started digging around in the archives and came across this one published wayyyy back in 2014 that somehow I had not read. This surprised me because I remember going through a Lisa Henry phase and devouring much of her work.
Many books these days feel like a Big Mac - something that comes off the assembly line with a predictable plot and pseudo-adequate prose. While there are some noted exceptions, most of what I read is forgettable and blends right in with the rest. Like a McD factory burger, anyone can slap one together, and it leaves you feeling kinda *blegh* after you finish it. Yeah you ate something, but the meat was questionable, the bun was dry, and why were those pickles kinda rubbery?*
In contrast, when Lisa Henry crafts a book it's like she opens a whole damn restaurant to create the flavor and shape the story. No assembly line here. It not only stands alone, it's a whole meal that leaves you satisfied and you remember it for a long time when you're done.
And I have to say, this book did not disappoint!
It's Gorgeous. Heartbreaking. Deep.
And the prose! This kind of writing is exactly what I was looking for when I went banging around and kicking up dust in thepre-2020 antiques section of the MM romance world, lol.
😮
Elijah and Grady's story - it's not an easy one. While there is an HFN (with implied HEA), and I found the end satisfying, getting there is a tough road. There are no insta-solutions, or blissful hand-wavy imagination-filled time lapses. We get dragged through the dirt with poor Elijah.
His life is hard. Orphaned as a child when his family dies on the wagon trail of scarlet fever, he was adopted by the doctor who saved him. But the fever left him partially deaf, and Elijah only sees himself as a burden. And true to the period, he is not surrounded by people who are lifting him up. He is convinced that the doctor doesn't deserve to be saddled with someone like him and that he's burden; he can't see all the ways that he does contribute to other people's lives. Being different in the mid-late 1800s was no picnic and we see that up front from Elijah's experience. Add on top his desire for other men that was taken advantage of by a much more powerful person in his town and wow, poor Elijah had a rough ride.
Grady is my favorite type of character. He's a blend of good-guy and anti-hero... he's a cattle rustler with a conscience, and he notices Elijah immediately when bringing a haul of stolen yearlings in to the butcher Elijah works for. But Grady doesn't swoop in like a white knight. Instead he reads the room. He realizes that Elijah is complicated, and so is his situation. So he bides his time, and waits, until a series of events unfolds that allows him to step in and show Elijah he's deserving of so much more.
Elijah has to want to save himself. He has to believe he's worthy. Grady can hold his hand, but Elijah has to climb out of the hole on his own steam. It's a real struggle with a lot of internal angst, but it's not unreasonable or manufactured angst. There are some tough moments along the way, including sex outside of the developing relationship {though IMO this is not cheating... you have to read it to understand} so check my tags for triggers.
On a real-world history note, it's absolutely wild to me that today, in 2024, the tracks are still there…. Carved permanently into the face of Colorado and Texas and Wyoming so deep you can practically hear the wagons rumbling through them like prairie ghosts. If you haven't seen them, do yourself a favor and search "wagon trail ruts" on YouTube, it's astonishing.
*you guys, I just realized I haven't had a Big Mac in like... many years. So maybe it's more memorable than I think 🤣🤣🤣 just not in a good way!!
Lately I've been searching for something with a little more meat on the bone than what I've been encountering with new releases. So I started digging around in the archives and came across this one published wayyyy back in 2014 that somehow I had not read. This surprised me because I remember going through a Lisa Henry phase and devouring much of her work.
Many books these days feel like a Big Mac - something that comes off the assembly line with a predictable plot and pseudo-adequate prose. While there are some noted exceptions, most of what I read is forgettable and blends right in with the rest. Like a McD factory burger, anyone can slap one together, and it leaves you feeling kinda *blegh* after you finish it. Yeah you ate something, but the meat was questionable, the bun was dry, and why were those pickles kinda rubbery?*
In contrast, when Lisa Henry crafts a book it's like she opens a whole damn restaurant to create the flavor and shape the story. No assembly line here. It not only stands alone, it's a whole meal that leaves you satisfied and you remember it for a long time when you're done.
And I have to say, this book did not disappoint!
It's Gorgeous. Heartbreaking. Deep.
And the prose! This kind of writing is exactly what I was looking for when I went banging around and kicking up dust in the
Grady liked to think that maybe Elijah was thinking of him too. That was more than Grady had ever had with anyone. They’d hardly spoken, hardly touched, but there was something. It was fragile and ephemeral. It was fireflies.
😮
Elijah and Grady's story - it's not an easy one. While there is an HFN (with implied HEA), and I found the end satisfying, getting there is a tough road. There are no insta-solutions, or blissful hand-wavy imagination-filled time lapses. We get dragged through the dirt with poor Elijah.
His life is hard. Orphaned as a child when his family dies on the wagon trail of scarlet fever, he was adopted by the doctor who saved him. But the fever left him partially deaf, and Elijah only sees himself as a burden. And true to the period, he is not surrounded by people who are lifting him up. He is convinced that the doctor doesn't deserve to be saddled with someone like him and that he's burden; he can't see all the ways that he does contribute to other people's lives. Being different in the mid-late 1800s was no picnic and we see that up front from Elijah's experience. Add on top his desire for other men that was taken advantage of by a much more powerful person in his town and wow, poor Elijah had a rough ride.
Grady is my favorite type of character. He's a blend of good-guy and anti-hero... he's a cattle rustler with a conscience, and he notices Elijah immediately when bringing a haul of stolen yearlings in to the butcher Elijah works for. But Grady doesn't swoop in like a white knight. Instead he reads the room. He realizes that Elijah is complicated, and so is his situation. So he bides his time, and waits, until a series of events unfolds that allows him to step in and show Elijah he's deserving of so much more.
Elijah has to want to save himself. He has to believe he's worthy. Grady can hold his hand, but Elijah has to climb out of the hole on his own steam. It's a real struggle with a lot of internal angst, but it's not unreasonable or manufactured angst. There are some tough moments along the way, including sex outside of the developing relationship {though IMO this is not cheating... you have to read it to understand} so check my tags for triggers.
"His gaze followed the tracks left by the wagons, year in and year out. He wondered how long it would take for the wind to smooth the tracks clean when the wagons stopped coming because of the railroad.”
On a real-world history note, it's absolutely wild to me that today, in 2024, the tracks are still there…. Carved permanently into the face of Colorado and Texas and Wyoming so deep you can practically hear the wagons rumbling through them like prairie ghosts. If you haven't seen them, do yourself a favor and search "wagon trail ruts" on YouTube, it's astonishing.
*you guys, I just realized I haven't had a Big Mac in like... many years. So maybe it's more memorable than I think 🤣🤣🤣 just not in a good way!!
March 10, 2015
Reading updates in review since GR doesn't allow long updates or spoilers in them..
6%
Crane smiled, and Elijah couldn't tell if he was being mocked or not. Maybe he'd spoken too quietly, too loudly, or carelessly run his words together. Or maybe it was just a smile.
This is so true. These insecurities is common when you have a hearing disability. Since you can't hear your own voice (only feel the vibrations the vocal cords make in your throat) you can't tell how you voice sounds or how you come across to the other person. You always need to judge a situation by facial expression, which is not an easy thing to do, especially meeting a two-faced character like Crane who's words mean one thing and his expressions means another.
I get Elijah, always assessing, always second guessing, always conflicting, always insecure.
7%
"Yes, sir, I hear you. If it's noisy, I don't hear. I-I gotta read lips then, sir."
"Hmm." Crane's mouth quirked (...) "You ain't stupid, are you?"
"No, sir," Elijah croaked.
"Sound it though," Crane said.
Arg, hurt him where it hurts the most, why don't you, Crane?! You can beat and Elijah, but those hurts more than anything.
8%
[Grady]
There was something about him [Elijah] though, something about the way he held himself, silent and watchful. Like he was keeping himself apart. Mostly deaf, Lovell had added, and Grady had understood then. The kid wasn't aloof, wasn't proud. He was just wrapped in silence was all, and not through any choice of his own. (...) Saw enough that he'd guessed the kid wasn't stupid. Just afflicted, and overlooked.
...and aching to be close to someone, be touched and made to feel good.
Gawd, my heart hurts for you Elijah.
17%
He [Elijah] would have taken anything Crane wanted him to take, because Crane has looked in his face and seen him.
Elijah shivered.
The world had tipped last night, and Elijah was afraid he was still falling.
All you want is to be noticed, isn't it Elijah? Because no one really knows the real you, you're just the deaf kid everyone feels sorry for, or "a simple deaf cunt" as Crane calls you.
No wonder you start believing it when the whole world around you thinks so. It rubs off on you no matter what.
22%
Because he wouldn't say no. Because all of those things--the humiliation, the fear, the tears--were the price he paid to be fucked. He ached for it, and Crane knew it.
Please, notice me...!
29%
He [Elijah] wondered what Dr. Carter and the McCreedy boys were talking about, what anyone talked about. Elijah hadn't had enough conversations in his life to put them together in his mind. Words where stretched over the frame of friendly greetings and woven together in ways that he didn't understand; people made patterns of weather, and news, and remembrances and speculations, but Elijah didn't know the secret. He had always been excluded from conversation and never learned the skill.
You never know how much small talk or any kind of conversations you've had yourself or overheard or listened to, either in RL on the bus, the train or at a cafè, or listening to the radio or the tv, means until you know someone who has never really experienced this. Everything you hear adds up and you actually learn from it, you have been all your life, you just haven't been aware of it because it's so "normal", so everyday-like.
38%
That was more than Grady had ever had with anyone. They'd hardly spoken, hardly touched, but there was something. It was fragile and ephemeral. It was fireflies. Grady wanted to catch it and hold it in a jar. He wanted to watch it glow. Fragile and ephemeral, but it was as real as anything else.
Wow, that was beautifully said...
50%
It felt like Elijah had given Grady all his secrets in that kiss because he didn't have any practice hiding them. He wasn't used to being noticed. And Grady had responded to Elijah's vulnerability with protectiveness. Because the kid was hurting. Because he was making a mistake with Crane. Because he was alone, and he was afraid, and he deserved better than anything, and anyone South Pass City had to offer.
Aww, Grady *hugs*
58%
Never been that close to someone. Never.
This strange, dark place where touch made up for sound. Where it spoke louder than any word Elijah had ever heard. Where it sang.
64%
"What else have I got?"
The wisps of clouds trailed above then as Grady stared into his face.
"You got me, Elijah,"Grady said at last. "That enough?"
Elijah didn't know.
*sniffles*
71%
There was something inside him now, something working at the ragged edges of his pain, water over a pebble, which promised one day that all the rough edges would be worn away. That maybe he wouldn't have to feel like this forever.
Maybe.
85%
Whaaaat?! Him?!
I never saw that coming.
100%
Finished! Wow, what a read. I'm emotionally exhausted.
February 22, 2020
Elijah Carter lives in a bubble of isolation and incomprehension. Almost deaf from a very young age because of a bout of scarlet fever that exterminated his whole family, he spends his young life between the affection and protection provided by Orville Carter, the physician who saved his life and basically adopted him, and the hostility of the other citizens of South Pass City, a border town in Wyoming where people treat him with suspicion or with the conviction of dealing with a simpleton.
His deafness and what he perceives as his unnatural and sinful desires, make Elijah feel unworthy of Dr Carter's love and seek punishment and release under the hands of Harlan Crane, the brutal owner of the seedy Empire, the biggest brothel/saloon in town.
In his bleak life, Elijah finds unexpected tenderness and understanding in Grady Mullins, a young cowboy leaving on the cusp between legality and illegality.
Lisa Henry's Sweetwater follows the lives of its characters as their fate gets entangled in the dusty and unforgiving streets of South Pass City.
I really loved the atmosphere conjured up by the author in this beautiful novel - Henry creates a world that is harsh, dangerous and cruel, where the life of men is only one bullet away from being snuffed out forever because of a game of cards gone wrong or a sideways glance.
The precariousness of this world is reproduced very effectively by the lingering tension that pervades every page of the book. The readers are kept on their tiptoes, uncertain of what might happen on the following page.
Elijah is at the very centre of all this tension whilst being, at the same time, kept away from other people because of his hearing disability. The pages focusing on his perception of the world around him - made of whispers, confused noises, waves of sound impossible to disentangle - are quiet and profoundly moving.
Doc Carter and Grady connect with him by means of tenderness and patience, while Harlan Crane uses brutality as his way of communicating. Elijah's responses are puzzled and confused. He doesn't think to be deserving of any tenderness and is suspicious and wary. He sees himself as split into different selves - his public self (subdued and obedient), his real one (full of troubling desires) and his dream self (still together with his biological family somewhere out West). The efforts he makes to reconcile this split provides the emotional core to the story.
Lisa Henry writes beautifully - her style is quietly powerful and truly compelling and Sweetwater, with its great characters and setting, confirmed the excellent impression I've had from the other things I've read so far amongst her works.
Not an easy or peaceful read, but highly recommended!
His deafness and what he perceives as his unnatural and sinful desires, make Elijah feel unworthy of Dr Carter's love and seek punishment and release under the hands of Harlan Crane, the brutal owner of the seedy Empire, the biggest brothel/saloon in town.
In his bleak life, Elijah finds unexpected tenderness and understanding in Grady Mullins, a young cowboy leaving on the cusp between legality and illegality.
Lisa Henry's Sweetwater follows the lives of its characters as their fate gets entangled in the dusty and unforgiving streets of South Pass City.
I really loved the atmosphere conjured up by the author in this beautiful novel - Henry creates a world that is harsh, dangerous and cruel, where the life of men is only one bullet away from being snuffed out forever because of a game of cards gone wrong or a sideways glance.
The precariousness of this world is reproduced very effectively by the lingering tension that pervades every page of the book. The readers are kept on their tiptoes, uncertain of what might happen on the following page.
Elijah is at the very centre of all this tension whilst being, at the same time, kept away from other people because of his hearing disability. The pages focusing on his perception of the world around him - made of whispers, confused noises, waves of sound impossible to disentangle - are quiet and profoundly moving.
Doc Carter and Grady connect with him by means of tenderness and patience, while Harlan Crane uses brutality as his way of communicating. Elijah's responses are puzzled and confused. He doesn't think to be deserving of any tenderness and is suspicious and wary. He sees himself as split into different selves - his public self (subdued and obedient), his real one (full of troubling desires) and his dream self (still together with his biological family somewhere out West). The efforts he makes to reconcile this split provides the emotional core to the story.
Lisa Henry writes beautifully - her style is quietly powerful and truly compelling and Sweetwater, with its great characters and setting, confirmed the excellent impression I've had from the other things I've read so far amongst her works.
Not an easy or peaceful read, but highly recommended!
February 5, 2015
I received this copy in exchange for an honest review.
Brief life is here our portion, brief sorrow, short-lived care; The life that knows no ending, the tearless life, is there
I haven't read a book in one sitting of this magnitude in a while. Lisa Henry & J.A. Rock are extreme sadist. No one can produce the amount of grief, sorrow, and tears to me like these two. I'm always pulled into their stories and world immediately with no way out any time soon. I can almost guarantee starting the book I'm going to come upon a character who I hate so much, I find myself declaring blood for these characters like a shark to bait. I want to see them eviscerated for all the harm, hindrance and evil they have brought about her characters.
Elijah Carter is a special man in my eyes. I don't know if I've ever read about a character who was this sad from the beginning, most of it was his self-worth, insecurities and his sense of being. You find person who doesn't have his own identity living with a man who has raised, nurtured and tried to wield him ready for the world. Elijah was so damaged, I cried for his strength, for his weakness, and him in general. His inner monologue was extremely sad that I understood him needing the pain for balance, and also being scared to want something that he is afraid he didn't deserve. I'm so wrapped up in the character that the plot is probably non-existent in my review. He finds solace is Harlan Cane an asshole who basically owns the town. Harlan see's through Elijah he knows he needs it, and that first time together is very brutal. No one deserves the amount of pain he had to go through, but he went through it and survived. Enters Grady Mullins, like most L.H books the savior isn't perfect, on a white steed and no skeletons. Grady has his own issues, but the one thing he does is notice Elijah and implements himself into his life with no regard, or care to ask. They're just able to handle themselves and devotion to someone like Elijah. I could go on, and on about what happened, but you wouldn't understood until you read the book.
Brief life is here our portion, brief sorrow, short-lived care; The life that knows no ending, the tearless life, is there
I haven't read a book in one sitting of this magnitude in a while. Lisa Henry & J.A. Rock are extreme sadist. No one can produce the amount of grief, sorrow, and tears to me like these two. I'm always pulled into their stories and world immediately with no way out any time soon. I can almost guarantee starting the book I'm going to come upon a character who I hate so much, I find myself declaring blood for these characters like a shark to bait. I want to see them eviscerated for all the harm, hindrance and evil they have brought about her characters.
Elijah Carter is a special man in my eyes. I don't know if I've ever read about a character who was this sad from the beginning, most of it was his self-worth, insecurities and his sense of being. You find person who doesn't have his own identity living with a man who has raised, nurtured and tried to wield him ready for the world. Elijah was so damaged, I cried for his strength, for his weakness, and him in general. His inner monologue was extremely sad that I understood him needing the pain for balance, and also being scared to want something that he is afraid he didn't deserve. I'm so wrapped up in the character that the plot is probably non-existent in my review. He finds solace is Harlan Cane an asshole who basically owns the town. Harlan see's through Elijah he knows he needs it, and that first time together is very brutal. No one deserves the amount of pain he had to go through, but he went through it and survived. Enters Grady Mullins, like most L.H books the savior isn't perfect, on a white steed and no skeletons. Grady has his own issues, but the one thing he does is notice Elijah and implements himself into his life with no regard, or care to ask. They're just able to handle themselves and devotion to someone like Elijah. I could go on, and on about what happened, but you wouldn't understood until you read the book.
February 19, 2015
BR, February 14th with Julie, Marte, Momo, Nathan and Marco (leafmarks)...
2,5 stars
After following my fellow Buddy readers on this book, I've come to a conclusion!!!
Although it was very well written there were a lot of things in this book that didn't fit right with me at all...
I loved Elijah, but I just did not like being in his head!.. He killed me with his self loathing and with the manner he coped with that.
I was very upset after finishing this book. And not in a good way!!
(Review and rating to come when I have calmed the f... down!!)
September 30, 2014
I’ve been looking forward to Sweetwater for MONTHS!! And honestly, it wasn’t at all what I expected it to be. I expected darkness and violence and not flowers and romance for sure, but what I didn’t expect was for it to be do damn depressing. Seriously, Elijah, the main character, had some monster demons inside of him. And Sweetwater tells the story of Elijah’s journey to becoming his own man and the catalysts that set him on that path.
My problems?
I never emotionally connected to either character. I think Elijah’s pain and desires were much too dark for me to understand and I was unable to rationalize the decisions he made. As for Grady, I don’t feel like I ever got to know him. I mean, most of the story is from Elijah’s POV and Elijah’s struggles within himself. And then there would be a bit from Grady’s POV, and all it involved was thoughts of Elijah, where Elijah hardly ever thought of Grady.
The book runs around 64K words, and for about the first half of that, Elijah and the real love interest, Grady, only have one interaction where they actually exchange words. All they have had prior to that was a bit of eye contact in the dead of night at the butchers and looks across the saloon. Hardly enough time to develop a believable connection between two characters in my opinion. But supposedly Grady knows what Elijah needs before he ever even speaks to him. Huh?
Yes, Elijah was having sex with more than one man, but I can honestly say that didn’t really bother me. There was no romance in what he was doing with Harlan; Elijah did it out of need and sense of duty. I just didn’t find any of the sex to be…well…stimulating. Even when Elijah was finally with Grady, there was never any passion, just sex and need. And I need passion.
What worked?
I loved the setting: 1870 Wyoming in an almost dried up mining town where the saloon and brothel owners call the shots. I thought the author did an amazing job with the atmosphere…it all felt very vivid to me.
There is a little murder mystery that I thought would be entirely too obvious, but of course it wasn’t and I completely fell for the decoy! Well done on that point because I never saw that coming. And how Elijah eventually handles it…
I really liked the ending. It was a fairly solid HFN in my opinion…maybe even an almost HEA. I would have liked to have seen the story continue on a little further though.
I’m still giving this book 3 stars because once I started it, I could not put it down. I just needed to know if Elijah would ever find happiness. And he did.
Reviewed for The Blogger Girls
My problems?
I never emotionally connected to either character. I think Elijah’s pain and desires were much too dark for me to understand and I was unable to rationalize the decisions he made. As for Grady, I don’t feel like I ever got to know him. I mean, most of the story is from Elijah’s POV and Elijah’s struggles within himself. And then there would be a bit from Grady’s POV, and all it involved was thoughts of Elijah, where Elijah hardly ever thought of Grady.
The book runs around 64K words, and for about the first half of that, Elijah and the real love interest, Grady, only have one interaction where they actually exchange words. All they have had prior to that was a bit of eye contact in the dead of night at the butchers and looks across the saloon. Hardly enough time to develop a believable connection between two characters in my opinion. But supposedly Grady knows what Elijah needs before he ever even speaks to him. Huh?
Yes, Elijah was having sex with more than one man, but I can honestly say that didn’t really bother me. There was no romance in what he was doing with Harlan; Elijah did it out of need and sense of duty. I just didn’t find any of the sex to be…well…stimulating. Even when Elijah was finally with Grady, there was never any passion, just sex and need. And I need passion.
What worked?
I loved the setting: 1870 Wyoming in an almost dried up mining town where the saloon and brothel owners call the shots. I thought the author did an amazing job with the atmosphere…it all felt very vivid to me.
There is a little murder mystery that I thought would be entirely too obvious, but of course it wasn’t and I completely fell for the decoy! Well done on that point because I never saw that coming. And how Elijah eventually handles it…
I really liked the ending. It was a fairly solid HFN in my opinion…maybe even an almost HEA. I would have liked to have seen the story continue on a little further though.
I’m still giving this book 3 stars because once I started it, I could not put it down. I just needed to know if Elijah would ever find happiness. And he did.
Reviewed for The Blogger Girls
November 6, 2016
This book was incredible. The characters were amazing and the pacing was perfect. The author used the most beautiful metaphors, I wish I had hi-lighted some, but "his spine moved like a snake across water" pretty much got me and sums up the kind of poetry I found in this book. Oh, and the scene where Elijah is looking for Grady's room in the hotel:
Isn't that lovely?
I listened to the audio version of this book, read by Dorian Bane who did an incredible job!
"Room six.
Elijah traced the brass number with his finger. The bow of its spine. The way it curled back in on itself, built a wall, enclosed a hidden space. Unbreachable.
Room six. Here between room five - a complicated digit, sharp and rounded at the same time, enclosing nothing - and room seven with its two quick strokes, across then down, like sudden cuts from a knife.
Isn't that lovely?
I listened to the audio version of this book, read by Dorian Bane who did an incredible job!
October 12, 2014
This book was a real pleasure to read and I seriously could have done with another hundred pages or so. It was beautifully written and my heart ached for poor Elijah - trapped in his own world with only his adopted father for company. Elijah was lonely and didn't feel like he belonged anywhere and Grady was right there for him, ready to take care and support him when the time came. I thought the ending was a little abrupt and I would love to know more about how Elijah and Grady get on with their new lives but all in all I'm very happy with the ending and loved the book.
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