Breaking Free

Guarded #2

by Cat Grant

Richard Carr has the kind of life most people would envy. Partner in a major Los Angeles law firm, married to the man of his dreams, Richard seems to have it made – except for the lie he’s been living for the past forty-odd years.

On special nights, in the company of kinky friends, Richard disappears inside Renee, his sexy, dominatrix alter-ego. Strong, sassy and flirtatious in her red and black corset, Renee is who Richard truly is on the inside – and who he longs to be outside of the dungeon.

But starting his – her – transition doesn’t provide the relief Renee had hoped for. Her business partners demand that she go back to dressing as a man at the office, while Robert, her husband and fellow Dominant, can’t conceal his shock as the man he married disappears a little bit more every day.

Their one true point of connection remains in the dungeon – in the person of Jase Hewitt, the submissive they both share. But when a devastating tragedy shatters Jase and sends him running to his Masters for comfort, it quickly becomes apparent that Robert’s love for Jase extends far beyond their Dom/sub roles…

And Renee faces a choice – abandon her journey toward becoming the person she truly is inside, or risk losing the man she loves.

Genres: BDSM, M M Romance, Transgender, Romance, Cross Dressing, Erotica, LGBT

242 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 9, 2014

About the author

If you're looking for epic sci-fi, fantasy, or historicals, that's not me. Contemporary all the way, baby!

However, if you're looking for down to earth, complicated characters dealing with real-world problems (and the occasional comfort read!), I might just fit the bill. :)

My Books:

Courtland Chronicles (m/m & m/m/f)
By Chance
Strictly Business
Complications
The Arrangement
Triad

Allegro Vivace (m/m)
Sonata Appassionata (m/m)

Icon Men (all m/m)
The First Real Thing (2012 EPIC Award Winner - Erotica)
Appearing Nightly
A Fool for You

Habanera (Originally titled Entangled Trio - 2012 EPIC Award Finalist - Erotica) (m/m/f)

Once a Marine (m/m)

Power Play (with Rachel Haimowitz) (m/m BDSM)
Power Play: Resistance
Power Play: Awakening

Irresistible Attraction (all m/m)
Priceless
Doubtless
Fearless
Flawless (2014 EPIC Award Finalist - Short Fiction)

Forthcoming:

The Only One Who Knows (with LA Witt) - January 2014

The Only One Who Matters (with LA Witt) - March 2014

Black Dog (Bannon's Gym #1) - April 2014

Takedown (Bannon's Gym #2) - July 2014

Guarded (with LA Witt) (work in progress)

Reviews

[BookAddict ✒ La Crimson Femme · Rating 4 out of 5]

Buy this book now! This is a book which will be read and never forgotten. It is a book that is more than just hawt BDSM kinkiness. It's a story of change and acceptance. This moving story of a person who finally comes into their own is breathtaking. Richard Carr is married to a wonderful man who loves him. He is a lawyer who makes oodles of money. The D/s dynamic between Richard and his husband Robert is delicious. What more could Richard want?

Richard is not comfortable in his skin. Since his childhood, he feels like an imposter because what he wants to do is dress up in corsets, dresses and wear make-up. His outer shell may look like a man but he really wants it to look like societal perception of a woman's image. This in the pain part of the book. For me it is frustrating because I've always felt that how a person dresses is dictated by society, not by XY or XX chromosome. Why is it a man must wear what society deems as masculine clothing? This is a false construct thrust upon people for no logical reason. To me, it makes no sense, especially when there are other cultures where males do wear what is considered a skirt. How is war paint different than cosmetics at its base level? How does the outside of a person change how we feel about the person inside? If as a society, we are always told that it's personality and how a person behaves that matters, then what difference does it make if the person dresses how they prefer? And this is what pisses me off about what happens to Richard as he transitions to his alter-ego, Renee. Why can't he decide to wear what he wants to wear and still be considered a man? I see no problems with this because he hasn't changed where it matters most. He is still able to construct a good case as a lawyer. He is still a great friend to his current friends. His morals have not changed. Yet Ms. Grant shows just how much people judge him by his exterior.

What is even sadder is how this impacts Robert. I get it. I really do. Some people are just wired to find a certain body type attractive. There is nothing wrong with this. Unfortunately for Richard/Renee, his husband really wants a man, not a feminine one either. The struggle for Robert to accept this drastic and rapid change is disheartening for Renee. There is no wrong or right in this instance. It's heartbreaking as Robert questions if he can continue to be married to a person whose outside is no longer appealing. Is this shallow? Perhaps for some, but really, one must be sensitive to Robert's needs too. I feel for him. I don't have as much of an issue as a reader because I am pansexual so a person changing their outer appearance makes little difference for me.

I must commend Ms. Grant in how well she shows each person's perspective in a nonjudgmental way. She also shows how difficult it is for each person in this relationship to adjust to the changes. She underscores how marriage is not easy and it takes work. When a life changing event comes, it could break them or bond them closer together. It's beautiful how Ms. Grant explores both avenues. I loved this book especially as I have a relative who seems to be going down the path of Richard. If he ever decides to take this difficult path, rest assured, Breaking Free will be a book I recommend to him. This book's message of hope and acceptance is splendid. Highly recommended to all readers to see how hard life can be for some and how we can help them be welcomed.

*provided by BDSM Book Reviews

[JustJen "Miss Conduct" · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 star review by The Blogger Girls.

We first met the lovely Renee and her husband, Robert, in Guarded. This also tells the story of Jase, who is one the MCs in Guarded. Here, we learn the details of Jase’s relationship with Eric. While they play a big part of this story, the focus is really on Renee and Robert.

This is the first time I’ve really read a story that took me through the changes, adjustments and struggles of someone transitioning, as well as their loved ones and/or partners. Renee has struggled for so long living two lives and has finally decided to move forward with her transitioning.

Robert now struggles to adjust to the idea that the man he married is changing in front of his eyes. While he has been supportive of Renee pre-transition, with the changes occurring at a much faster pace, he is thrown for a bit of a loop.

In the middle of Renee and Robert’s troubles, is Jase, a young man who has played with both of them as their sub. Jase is also in somewhat of a transition himself, moving from sub to dom, and they are all having to deal with the feelings involved.

Poor Jase is also dealing with his addict boyfriend who ends up in rehab time after time. Needless to say, that doesn’t end well, and there is a lot of suffering and guilt involved.

It seems as though there are a lot of sad and depressing aspects to this story, and there are, but there are also sweet and wonderful ones as well. It takes them a while, and it isn’t easy, but Robert and Renee realize what’s most important and how much their love means to each other.

I honestly don’t normally read these types of stories, mostly because I have a difficult time relating to the issues involved. However, I fell in love and was extremely intrigued with this couple when I met them previously, and was quickly pulled into their story here. It was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, but it was easy to see how real that could be, and I’m glad I joined these guys on their journey. I’m a big fan of Ms. Grant’s writing, and this is another fine example of her work.

[Kristie · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

You guys, this is so good. I've not read a lot of books that deal with transgender issues. Only couple, I think, so I don't really have a lot of experience with this. With the story, the issues, the feelings. I can only imagine and have compassion.

This books is so wonderful, and if you've read Guarded, then you'll really want to read this one. In Guarded, we met Robert and Renee, friends of Jase. This time around, we get to meet Robert and Renee, while Renee goes through her transition. Honestly? I was not sure what I was gonna get. On one hand, I know that Cat Grant is a great author. I've very much enjoyed her books, so I had that going in. On the other hand, remembering how I loved Robert and Renee's characters in Guarded, I wanted to keep them in that happy place. I didn't want anything to... I don't know, tarnish(?) how I felt about them. Well, stupid me for any amount of anxiety I may have had.

On Robert's side, he's going through quite a lot. His husband of 10 years is changing. For Renee, she's not really been Richard for a long time and these changes, both physically and mentally, needed to happen for her to be truly happy. The struggles they go through are so real. At least they really seem so. Of course, because this is a book, things, feelings, progress pretty quickly. We are treated to months of changes for both of them. Months of changes that lead to a HEA. Maybe an unrealistic timeline, but it's a book so that's totally forgiven.

Another plus, and heartache, is we meet Eric, whom we'd heard of from Guarded. Eric, who was Jase's boyfriend before. All the pain we'd heard about in Guarded is shown.

I don't know what else to say. The story moved me. Renee with her fierce determination. Robert with his strong resolve to stand by Renee. They love they have for each other, no matter what. Love that's so strong because as Robert says, everything else is just details. The love is what's important and if this story told me anything it's that. Love is the most important thing of all.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review to come

[Aղցela W. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good read. Richard Carr has a great life he is a successful attorney and partner in his law firm he is also married to the man of his dreams, but something is missing. On special nights he gets to play dress up as Renee. Richard wants to become Renee fulltime his partner's at the law firm are not in support of him doing it. Robert who is Richard's husband also had his own internal struggles going on. Robert is not happy in his job and then their is how he feels about Richard becoming Renee. This book also introduces Jase who we met in book 1 I was glad that we got history on Jase and his being into BDSM. This was a really good read I love reading Cat Grants books. This book was well written with no errors in grammar or spelling.

[S.B. (Beauty in Ruins) · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG, this was one of the sexiest, most beautiful, most emotionally powerful books I have read in a very long time! Breaking Free is such a fantastic story, so beautifully told, and with such a realistic, positive approach to gender, sex, and love.

Cat Grant herself seemed a bit cautious about the transgender element in her introduction, but I think she absolutely nailed it. The physical, the mental, and the emotional development of Richard/Renee are all handled beautifully. It all begins with Richard "disappearing" inside Renee, who is described as "his sexy, dominatrix alter-ego," but it's not long before he come to accept that it's Richard who is the illusion, and Renee who is the inner reality.

What complicates matters is the fact that Richard is married to Robert, the man of his dreams. An out and proud gay couple, their life undergoes a significant upheaval with Renee's decision to begin transitioning, and Cat does an amazing job of taking an honest look at the impact such a transition can have on a relationship. It's not easy, presenting challenges that certain tug at the heartstrings, but that's life - raw, honest, and un-romanticized.

While the story could have worked very well without the subplot of Jase, their shared submissive, whom Renee fears Robert is destined to leave her for is almost unnecessary, it does allow Cat to really explore the differences between sex and love, just as she's already looking at the differences between sex and gender. It's actually quite a complex story here, with the kind of deep observations you don't always find in an erotic romance.

I loved the tentative emergence of Renee into their lives, her nervous reluctance to demand her rights in the office, and the sisterhood she creates with the women around her. In many ways, this could be considered a trans-feminist tale, but that's only another element of what is a well-rounded, well-told, well-loved romantic tale. Just beautiful . . . and oh so inspiring.


As published on Bending the Bookshelf

[Susinok · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great story and I was wondering up until the end how everything was going to be resolved.

[The Novel Approach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Normally I’d start off my review with a quick summary of the story, but this book kind of blew me away. In a good way, that is, and I just had to share that first because this is definitely a book you should be reading. Okay, so that’s totally my opinion, but I bet if you read Breaking Free, you’ll agree with me.

Richard is not happy with who he is in his day to day life; he knows he doesn’t fit the body he’s in and that something has to change before he loses his sense of self. The only time he feels good about himself are the nights he lets Renee out to play, when he and his partner Robert host their BDSM parties. Until one night he decides to debut Renee out in public while out to dinner with their friends. Dropping his voice to a husky murmur while donning a long blonde wig, a beautiful dress, killer shoes and the perfect shade of lipstick, Richard becomes the very beautiful Renee. This isn’t enough, though; Richard still feels uncomfortable in his own skin, and this leaves him unsettled and battling depression.

Robert loves Richard with a fierce love, but he’s unsure of Richard as Renee. They’ve discussed how Richard feels but while you might agree when talking about something, seeing it can change how you feel. Robert wants Richard to be happy but once confronted with Renee, he’s not sure he feels the same thing for Renee as he does for Richard. As hard as it is for Renee to be Richard, it’s hard for Robert to immediately feel the same for Renee as he did Richard. This is as much a change for him as it is for Renee, and it’s hard for both to deal with Renee’s transition. This change is life altering, and their reactions to each other during Renee’s transition could damage their long-term relationship, permanently.

This book is actually the prequel to Guarded. In this story you get not just Robert and Renee’s complete story, but see Jase and Eric’s story and how Jase became a Dom. The focus, though, is on Richard’s transition to Renee, how those choices affect both Robert and Renee, and ultimately, are they able to work through their issues. Cat Grant handled what is a very hard decision in any person’s life with a great amount of care and a healthy dose of reality.

Instead of just showing that making the decision to transition from one sex to another was all lightness and roses, she showed that it’s not and that it affects not just the person transitioning but everyone around them. Jase didn’t see anyone other than Renee when Richard started transitioning in just the clothing aspect. Robert, on the other hand, took it very badly. He could only focus on the gender aspect at first. Being a gay male, now in a relationship with a woman, well, that wasn’t who he’d intended to be with the rest of his life. In his mind he entered into a long term relationship with Richard, and he loved Richard with his whole heart and soul. Renee wasn’t Richard, even though she’s actually the most important part of Richard.

I went into Breaking Free not knowing what to expect, other than I had absolutely adored Renee in Guarded. I’d never read another book with a character transitioning from one sex to another. I really felt that the balance in this story of how Renee felt as both sexes, going through the transition, and also the choices she makes as she goes through the transition were very well written and again, handled very well. Robert’s reactions, his feelings for Jase, and how he deals with Renee’s transition, or rather, how he didn’t deal with it. Reading that moment when Jase actually gets Robert to see that Renee is no different than she was when she showed the outer image of Richard, that moment and Robert and Renee reconnecting were perfect moments, the kind of moments you live to read for in any story. Those moments are what I love to share with other readers, so don’t pass this story up.

[Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The way I was dressed now didn't feel like a costume. It felt like me….
For the first time, I saw myself the way I'd always imagined. No more conservative suits, or silk ties that strangled me. No stubbly shadow darkening my cheeks. Nothing to make that voice in my head scream, Impostor!"

I first met Renee and Robert in 'Guarded', and now in 'Breaking Free' I was getting the pleasure of their story and, also, some of the background on Jase who was one of the main characters in 'Guarded'. I'll freely admit that as a psych major, the concept of being born in the body of the wrong gender doesn't strike me as odd, or strange, or unusual. I think it must be a prison for the individual and I can't begin to imagine how it must feel to look in the mirror and hate what you see. So you can imagine that my heart went out to Renee, right from the beginning.

Renee and Robert have been together for ten years, and Robert knows the difficulties Renee has always had as Richard. Robert knows her thoughts and her dreams and, in fact, it was Robert's suggestion that Renee dress in the feminine fetish wear for their sessions as a way to let some of the tension out. Unfortunately, it just reminded Renee that being a woman is who she really is and it's time to let her outside match her inside. Easier said than done, however. Robert tries to be supportive and understanding, but this is difficult for him, also.

Renee's partners at her law firm are less understanding and problems arise there even though Renee is their chief litigator. When the partners insist that Renee must return to wearing Richard's clothes into the office, Renee resigns and takes her clients with her, opening her own firm, out of her house for now. Luckily for Renee, her best friend, Mel, comes with her too as her paralegal, and they snap up another employee for the firm who got fired for being loyal to Renee. Yeah, her partners are transphobic bigots.

Renee's hopes that it'll just take time for Robert to acclimate to the changes begins to fade as their marriage becomes more and more fraught with tension and upset. The final betrayal, in Renee's eyes, is seeing Robert in a scene with Jase and realizing that Robert is in love with Jase. Jase makes it very clear to Robert that he loves him as his Master, his mentor, and his friend, but that's as far as it goes. Renee lets Robert know, in no uncertain terms, that she's going to continue with her transition and he can either get on board or go away. I really loved her! She had such amazing strength, power, and will.

I absolutely loved this book, even more than I thought I would. Both Renee and Robert were amazing characters with so much depth that it was impossible not to root for them and want to see their happy ending. The glimpses of Jace and getting the background on his story with Eric was something I didn't realize I needed, until I got it. This is a beautiful story and one I could only hope every single transgendered person could have. Thank you, Cat, I think you did a wonderful job!

NOTE: This book was provided by the author for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews.

[Sinclair]

Interesting story following a trans woman and her male partner as she begins transition. Some class porn (meaning: they all have high powered jobs and drive Lexuses and BMWs, etc) which I don't like, but generally the emotionality seemed real and well done. Decent dungeon scenes.

[Kade Boehme · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 out of 5 stars

This review originally posted on The Novel Approach ~ http://thenovelapproachreviews.com/20...

Description ~

Richard Carr has the kind of life most people would envy. Partner in a major Los Angeles law firm, married to the man of his dreams, Richard seems to have it made – except for the lie he’s been living for the past forty-odd years.

On special nights, in the company of kinky friends, Richard disappears inside Renee, his sexy, dominatrix alter-ego. Strong, sassy and flirtatious in her red and black corset, Renee is who Richard truly is on the inside – and who he longs to be outside of the dungeon.

But starting his – her – transition doesn’t provide the relief Renee had hoped for. Her business partners demand that she go back to dressing as a man at the office, while Robert, her husband and fellow Dominant, can’t conceal his shock as the man he married disappears a little bit more every day.

Their one true point of connection remains in the dungeon – in the person of Jase Hewitt, the submissive they both share. But when a devastating tragedy shatters Jase and sends him running to his Masters for comfort, it quickly becomes apparent that Robert’s love for Jase extends far beyond their Dom/sub roles…

And Renee faces a choice – abandon her journey toward becoming the person she truly is inside, or risk losing the man she loves.

My Review ~
Normally I’d start off my review with a quick summary of the story, but this book kind of blew me away. In a good way, that is, and I just had to share that first because this is definitely a book you should be reading. Okay, so that’s totally my opinion, but I bet if you read Breaking Free, you’ll agree with me.

Richard is not happy with who he is in his day to day life; he knows he doesn’t fit the body he’s in and that something has to change before he loses his sense of self. The only time he feels good about himself are the nights he lets Renee out to play, when he and his partner Robert host their BDSM parties. Until one night he decides to debut Renee out in public while out to dinner with their friends. Dropping his voice to a husky murmur while donning a long blonde wig, a beautiful dress, killer shoes and the perfect shade of lipstick, Richard becomes the very beautiful Renee. This isn’t enough, though; Richard still feels uncomfortable in his own skin, and this leaves him unsettled and battling depression.

Robert loves Richard with a fierce love, but he’s unsure of Richard as Renee. They’ve discussed how Richard feels but while you might agree when talking about something, seeing it can change how you feel. Robert wants Richard to be happy but once confronted with Renee, he’s not sure he feels the same thing for Renee as he does for Richard. As hard as it is for Renee to be Richard, it’s hard for Robert to immediately feel the same for Renee as he did Richard. This is as much a change for him as it is for Renee, and it’s hard for both to deal with Renee’s transition. This change is life altering, and their reactions to each other during Renee’s transition could damage their long-term relationship, permanently.

This book is actually the prequel to Guarded. In this story you get not just Robert and Renee’s complete story, but see Jase and Eric’s story and how Jase became a Dom. The focus, though, is on Richard’s transition to Renee, how those choices affect both Robert and Renee, and ultimately, are they able to work through their issues. Cat Grant handled what is a very hard decision in any person’s life with a great amount of care and a healthy dose of reality.

Instead of just showing that making the decision to transition from one sex to another was all lightness and roses, she showed that it’s not and that it affects not just the person transitioning but everyone around them. Jase didn’t see anyone other than Renee when Richard started transitioning in just the clothing aspect. Robert, on the other hand, took it very badly. He could only focus on the gender aspect at first. Being a gay male, now in a relationship with a woman, well, that wasn’t who he’d intended to be with the rest of his life. In his mind he entered into a long term relationship with Richard, and he loved Richard with his whole heart and soul. Renee wasn’t Richard, even though she’s actually the most important part of Richard.

I went into Breaking Free not knowing what to expect, other than I had absolutely adored Renee in Guarded. I’d never read another book with a character transitioning from one sex to another. I really felt that the balance in this story of how Renee felt as both sexes, going through the transition, and also the choices she makes as she goes through the transition were very well written and again, handled very well. Robert’s reactions, his feelings for Jase, and how he deals with Renee’s transition, or rather, how he didn’t deal with it. Reading that moment when Jase actually gets Robert to see that Renee is no different than she was when she showed the outer image of Richard, that moment and Robert and Renee reconnecting were perfect moments, the kind of moments you live to read for in any story. Those moments are what I love to share with other readers, so don’t pass this story up.

[Love Bytes Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 star review by Lily

Richard Carr is a successful man who is married to Robert. On special nights Richard also becomes dominatrix Renee and his husband Robert is a Dominant male in private parties they host in their dungeon. The thing is Richard is happier being his alter ego Renee so when he starts to transition; she is confronted with some significant issues starting with demand at work to dress as a man. In the meantime, Renee’s husband Robert is in shock because he married Richard and was a happily married gay man until his husband starts transitioning …and the story becomes more complex…

As I was reading this story, I thought this was the ultimate “love is for love sake” kind of story because “Breaking Free” crosses all the boundaries to reach one’s own unconditional love.

Richard’s journey was deeply emotional and left me feeling moved. I was caught up in her emotions, struggles and thoughts. I really felt for her.

The story feels real and I was able to see how Robert was struggling with his husband Richard’s transition as well. I thought that this story was very multi-dimensional because of the characters different perspectives, emotions and struggles.

There was another person in the story. His name is Jase who has his own issues which left me feeling touched. This submissive male who was shared by both Richard and Robert has a very crucial role in the story and adds a depth to the story as well as keep the dynamics between Robert and Richard very fluent. I thought that these three characters complemented each other and the story.

I think the story was a bit too focused on events at times and found myself sidetracked from the underlying dynamics and currents between the characters. Nevertheless, “Breaking Free” is a beautiful story about unconditional love.

A copy of this book was provided in exchange for an honest review. Please visit www.lovebytesreviews.com to see this and many more reviews, author interviews, guestposts and giveaways!

[Dee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Wow, didn't expect to see Eric and Jase from Guarded in this story. (((smiling)))


EDIT: - The synopsis totally threw me. Right now I am so pissed that the events between Jase and Eric overshadowed the story of Richard/Renee and Robert! (((no longer smiling)))

Does this author have a thing about people killing themselves? Fuckn literally! Had I not already read Guarded I might not have reacted the way I did. There was enough angst already, without mirroring an event that happened in Guarded. It is a horrendous thing for anyone to have to find someone 'like that', then to put the same person through it twice! It got my back up, though I'm sure it was supposed to pull at my heartstrings.

The first half of this story was a solid 4 star read to me. It was believable, I got the struggles Richard/Renee and Robert went through, both trying to come to terms with the transition.

Then the angst reached OTT proportions. The side story of Jase and Eric about killed me. Then what unfolded with Jase and Robert, left me feeling cold towards Robert. Frankly by the end of the story I despised the guy and wished Renee had told him to fuck off.

But no Renee forgives him and suddenly is able to get a boner again, despite having been on hormones for how long?

So what started as a 4 star read ended as a 2 star read. Overall rating 3 stars.

Right now I highly doubt I'll read anything else by this/these authors.

[Misha · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first romance I've read in a long time that was A) truly romantic and B) not predictable.

"I am a woman. I don't have to cut my dick off to prove it." Best line in the book.

[FantasyLiving · Rating 3 out of 5]

Review to come

[Theresa C · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this. My 1st time reading from this author & I am curious to read more of her work!

[Elisa Rolle · Rating 5 out of 5]

2014 Rainbow Awards Honorable Mention (5* from at least 1 judge)

[Joyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, what an emotional rollercoaster this one is. The author did a great job of relaying the emotional toll of so many issues in the story. A Great continuation of the story.
Mind the triggers- drug abuse, addiction, suicide.

[Thea™]

BDSM; BotM June 2015.
Niet aan toegekomen in juni, dus naar een to-read shelf verplaatst.

[Serena]

Read for 06.2015 BDSM BotM.