I have been really struggling with how to review this book since I finished it last month. This was such a highly anticipated read for me, and when I finished it I felt really conflicted overall.
The story itself is written beautifully with imagery that is very distinct and well painted. The artwork is stunning. The romance I loved. It’s a slow burn, and while it takes us a moment to get there, Rio and Benny were really wonderful to read.
However, I was disappointed by aspects of the book that I have yet to see anyone review, and while I debated publicly reviewing since I seem to be the only one who noticed this, I felt in the end it was important for me to voice it anyway.
As a fat person, it is exceedingly difficult to find really good fat rep. Even in books that have the best intentions, rep can fall into harmful stereotypes really quickly (which I know is also true of racial rep and queer rep by folks who don’t have those exact identities).
In the first chapter, there is an antagonistic side character (a guard) whom Benny describes as “wobbly-jowled”. It immediately took me out of the story because I really dislike when we paint unlikeable characters’ physical appearance in a negative way. In this instance, focusing in on the jowls felt pointed and unnecessary. And while it’s not immediately indicative that he’s a fat character, Benny describes himself as thin later down the page, which, even if unintentionally, insinuates the wobby-jowled character is the opposite.
This was then made worse by Benny nicknaming the character by their “saggy jowls”, which really put me off. It also, to me, perpetuates the narrative of the fat lazy cop that we have to work to dismantle. Police and soldiers are negative characters, yes, but painting them as fat and lazy as media often likes to do, just harms fat people more than it does authority.
Later in the book we do have a positive secondary character who is fat, but I felt let down here too. She is the fat lady in the act, and at one point she is trying to change her act and turn herself into the bearded lady which makes her cry because she’ll be “ugly”. As a fat person with PCOS this was disappointing to read. She is also in need of mobility aids in the book. And while there are many fat people who are also disabled and rep for them is still important, when the author is thin and this is their only fat rep, it leans too far into fat stereotypes for my liking.
I really wanted to love this book. And while the romance overall was beautiful and there was so much I did like about it, I was just too disappointed by the fat rep to really enjoy it fully. I just don’t think it’s the positive rep we need and I’m honestly pretty uncomfortable with it being marketed as such.
Anyway, I’m fairly prepared to be alone in this, but it felt important for me to voice. It is very hard to do rep outside of our own identities and experiences justice, and we’re not always going to get it right.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC.
Edit: I did initially have this reviewed as 3 stars. But since sharing my review on Instagram, I was messaged by the author and the sensitivity reader about my review, which is a huge breach of the reviewer/author boundary. I did not tag the author. While Venessa did back off when I pointed out reaching out to me privately about my review felt like a breach of that boundary, the sensitivity reader did not. I was accused of only wanting “tolerable fat rep” and argued with for not wanting to discuss my review because we were mutuals, when it is common knowledge this sensitivity reader is friends with the author. I informed this person that they unfortunately made the situation so much worse. I have lowered my star rating because of this experience. Incredibly unprofessional and pretty manipulative of the reader/reviewer space. As a fat person whose experience of the book was affected by how I perceived the above pieces in my review, I am really unhappy with how this played out, and I just cannot in good faith recommend this book when it feels like you are not allowed to critique it in any form.