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Out of the Cocoon: The Journey to Becoming
How would you live your life if you understood that every scar, trauma, or suffering can make you stronger and greater?
Rosemary Esehagu, who has studied psychology and medicine, has seen the damaging effects of having people's abuse or trauma speak for them. In her memoir, Out of the The Journey to Becoming, she shares her story of posttraumatic growth and offers a radical perspective on abuse. Despite encountering abuse as a child and racism and trauma when she immigrated to the US as a teenager, she has found her place and is living her purpose. She uses prose and poetry to express that we can overpower and repurpose others' harmful actions.
There is a better way of living after trauma.
Rosemary Esehagu, who has studied psychology and medicine, has seen the damaging effects of having people's abuse or trauma speak for them. In her memoir, Out of the The Journey to Becoming, she shares her story of posttraumatic growth and offers a radical perspective on abuse. Despite encountering abuse as a child and racism and trauma when she immigrated to the US as a teenager, she has found her place and is living her purpose. She uses prose and poetry to express that we can overpower and repurpose others' harmful actions.
There is a better way of living after trauma.
144 pages, Hardcover
Published February 15, 2025
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
January 14, 2026
Special thanks to the publisher for a free copy of this novel received in exchange for an honest review.
Rosemary Esehagu's story "Out of the Cocoon: The Journey to Becoming" is a non-fiction book focusing on trauma recovery. Half poetry, half anecdotes and musings from Rosemary herself, "Cocoon" is more than a self-help book but instead is a journey for anyone who is on the road to trauma recovery.
Esehagu has suffered sexual abuse, back home in her native Nigeria, and then, once she had transplanted to America, she saw the horrors of racism and sexism first hand, being immediately judged for the colour of her skin and her gender. After struggling with these experiences for years, Esehagu decided to make a change for the better and work to overcome her trauma, then decided to share her secrets with others.
"Cocoon" is short, at only one hundred and thirty pages, but it is powerful. I would've liked to have seen Esehagu expand more on her experiences, as she seems to have a lot of meaningful things to say, but I find that writing in poetry or prose limited my enjoyment. I am happy that Esehagu has found a positive way to overcome her trauma, and there were many points in the book where I connected personally, but I wanted more, and I wanted more of a story format.
I am not a fan of poetry, or at least it isn't my go-to reading genre, but "Cocoon" definitely will resonate with readers on this continent and beyond. It is uplifting, examining humanity at its worst and best, and it will provide readers with encouragement to examine their own trauma and hopefully move on to become the person they were meant to be.
Rosemary Esehagu's story "Out of the Cocoon: The Journey to Becoming" is a non-fiction book focusing on trauma recovery. Half poetry, half anecdotes and musings from Rosemary herself, "Cocoon" is more than a self-help book but instead is a journey for anyone who is on the road to trauma recovery.
Esehagu has suffered sexual abuse, back home in her native Nigeria, and then, once she had transplanted to America, she saw the horrors of racism and sexism first hand, being immediately judged for the colour of her skin and her gender. After struggling with these experiences for years, Esehagu decided to make a change for the better and work to overcome her trauma, then decided to share her secrets with others.
"Cocoon" is short, at only one hundred and thirty pages, but it is powerful. I would've liked to have seen Esehagu expand more on her experiences, as she seems to have a lot of meaningful things to say, but I find that writing in poetry or prose limited my enjoyment. I am happy that Esehagu has found a positive way to overcome her trauma, and there were many points in the book where I connected personally, but I wanted more, and I wanted more of a story format.
I am not a fan of poetry, or at least it isn't my go-to reading genre, but "Cocoon" definitely will resonate with readers on this continent and beyond. It is uplifting, examining humanity at its worst and best, and it will provide readers with encouragement to examine their own trauma and hopefully move on to become the person they were meant to be.
September 23, 2025
This book made me cry and feel seen. As a Nigerian immigrant myself living in the US I have experienced the emotional abuse and losing points in class because I was spelling my English words the British way. They make it sound like those words do not exist.
I love the touch of Christianity in it.
This is a book that would stay with me for years and can be gifted to friends and family around me.
Thanks to @bookpublicityservices for the gifted copy.
I love the touch of Christianity in it.
This is a book that would stay with me for years and can be gifted to friends and family around me.
Thanks to @bookpublicityservices for the gifted copy.
October 2, 2026
In the poem, “The Partiality of Luck,” Rosemary Esehagu writes, “Life is a four-letter noun that is called a maze.” That line captures the emotional terrain of Out of the Cocoon: The Journey to Becoming, a vulnerable, deeply personal memoir about trauma, identity, and the difficult, nonlinear work of healing.
Esehagu writes about childhood sexual abuse, immigration, race, racism, and sexism with an openness that makes the book feel less like a polished account of survival than an invitation into its complicated aftermath. For Black women in particular, that journey is often made harder by the intersecting forces of racism and misogyny, as well as the persistent pressure to be strong, silent, or grateful rather than fully seen and believed.
What stayed with me as much as Esehagu’s story of overcoming trauma was her vulnerability in telling it. She does not offer an easy narrative of redemption or suggest that pain disappears simply because someone survives it. Instead, she makes room for shame, isolation, anger, fractured self-worth, and the difficult work of learning to trust one’s own voice again. Her candor is as striking as the story itself: vulnerability becomes not a weakness, but the source of the book’s emotional power.
The memoir is filled with poetry that underscores and deepens its central themes. These poems do not simply accompany the prose; they create space for what straightforward narration cannot always hold—grief, memory, rage, confusion, and hope. They sharpen the memoir’s emotional truths and reinforce the sense that survival is not a clean, linear journey, but a maze one must keep finding a way through.
Esehagu also emphasizes the destructive power of trauma when it is ignored—both personally and as a society. What goes unspoken can seep into identity, relationships, and one’s sense of safety. On a wider level, she asks readers to confront how communities, institutions, and cultural norms enable harm when they minimize abuse, doubt survivors, or treat trauma as an individual burden rather than a collective responsibility.
The cocoon metaphor is familiar, but Esehagu uses it thoughtfully. Transformation here is not instant or pristine; it is private, painful, and uncertain. *Out of the Cocoon* understands healing not as a destination, but as a continuing process of confronting what happened, honoring the person one was, and making space for the person still emerging.
As Esehagu writes, “Resilience is not born out of your expectations.”
Esehagu writes about childhood sexual abuse, immigration, race, racism, and sexism with an openness that makes the book feel less like a polished account of survival than an invitation into its complicated aftermath. For Black women in particular, that journey is often made harder by the intersecting forces of racism and misogyny, as well as the persistent pressure to be strong, silent, or grateful rather than fully seen and believed.
What stayed with me as much as Esehagu’s story of overcoming trauma was her vulnerability in telling it. She does not offer an easy narrative of redemption or suggest that pain disappears simply because someone survives it. Instead, she makes room for shame, isolation, anger, fractured self-worth, and the difficult work of learning to trust one’s own voice again. Her candor is as striking as the story itself: vulnerability becomes not a weakness, but the source of the book’s emotional power.
The memoir is filled with poetry that underscores and deepens its central themes. These poems do not simply accompany the prose; they create space for what straightforward narration cannot always hold—grief, memory, rage, confusion, and hope. They sharpen the memoir’s emotional truths and reinforce the sense that survival is not a clean, linear journey, but a maze one must keep finding a way through.
Esehagu also emphasizes the destructive power of trauma when it is ignored—both personally and as a society. What goes unspoken can seep into identity, relationships, and one’s sense of safety. On a wider level, she asks readers to confront how communities, institutions, and cultural norms enable harm when they minimize abuse, doubt survivors, or treat trauma as an individual burden rather than a collective responsibility.
The cocoon metaphor is familiar, but Esehagu uses it thoughtfully. Transformation here is not instant or pristine; it is private, painful, and uncertain. *Out of the Cocoon* understands healing not as a destination, but as a continuing process of confronting what happened, honoring the person one was, and making space for the person still emerging.
As Esehagu writes, “Resilience is not born out of your expectations.”
September 30, 2025
Thank you to @bookpublicityservices for the complimentary copy of this book! I truly enjoyed this hybrid prose and poetry memoir. I felt seen as a biracial woman living in today’s world. The 41 poems symbolizing the 41 bullets targeted at Amadou Diallo were beautifully written. If you or someone you know are struggling through an experience that is similar to the one in this book, reading this can help you understand your trauma and how to heal from it. Very short and to the point, but very impactful at the same time!
September 24, 2026
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
Out of the Cocoon by Rosemary Esehagu, is a very important and heartfelt work, mixing prose and poetry, about what trauma is, how to overcome it and becoming a new version of oneself. Unfortunately, the poetry style wasn't much to my liking, but that doesn't take away the importance of the message and the personal experience of the authour: about womanhood, racial discrimination, violence and resilience. A very powerful kind of autobiography about the ability to overcome and transform oneself.
Out of the Cocoon by Rosemary Esehagu, is a very important and heartfelt work, mixing prose and poetry, about what trauma is, how to overcome it and becoming a new version of oneself. Unfortunately, the poetry style wasn't much to my liking, but that doesn't take away the importance of the message and the personal experience of the authour: about womanhood, racial discrimination, violence and resilience. A very powerful kind of autobiography about the ability to overcome and transform oneself.
September 19, 2025
This book is a beautiful depiction of how to overcome trauma and take ownership of your story. The author is Nigerian American who recounts the abuse she suffered in her childhood and how she did not let it define her. The book is filled with beautiful poetry and inspiration for anyone trying to get through their trauma. The author is a religious woman and I think this book would be greatly suited for readers with strong faith. A great read overall.
July 24, 2026
Out of the Cocoon: The Journey to Becoming is an inspiring memoir that demonstrates how even the deepest wounds can become the foundation for extraordinary personal growth. Rosemary Esehagu shares her life with honesty, courage, and compassion, offering readers not only her story but also a renewed perspective on resilience, identity, and healing.
What makes this memoir especially powerful is its emphasis on post-traumatic growth. Rather than allowing childhood abuse, racism, and displacement to define her, Esehagu illustrates how adversity can be transformed into strength, purpose, and hope. Her journey is deeply personal, yet its message is universally relevant to anyone who has faced hardship and wondered whether healing is truly possible.
I particularly appreciated the blend of prose and poetry throughout the book. This combination creates an emotional rhythm that allows readers to experience both the pain and the beauty of the author's transformation. The writing is reflective without becoming sentimental, and every chapter reinforces the central theme that our past does not have to determine our future.
The author's background in psychology and medicine also enriches the narrative. Her reflections move beyond autobiography to offer thoughtful insights into trauma, resilience, and the human capacity for renewal. The result is a memoir that is both emotionally moving and intellectually encouraging.
Above all, Out of the Cocoon is a book about hope. It reminds readers that healing is not about erasing the past but about reclaiming the future. It is a compelling testament to the resilience of the human spirit and an uplifting read for anyone seeking encouragement through life's challenges.
What makes this memoir especially powerful is its emphasis on post-traumatic growth. Rather than allowing childhood abuse, racism, and displacement to define her, Esehagu illustrates how adversity can be transformed into strength, purpose, and hope. Her journey is deeply personal, yet its message is universally relevant to anyone who has faced hardship and wondered whether healing is truly possible.
I particularly appreciated the blend of prose and poetry throughout the book. This combination creates an emotional rhythm that allows readers to experience both the pain and the beauty of the author's transformation. The writing is reflective without becoming sentimental, and every chapter reinforces the central theme that our past does not have to determine our future.
The author's background in psychology and medicine also enriches the narrative. Her reflections move beyond autobiography to offer thoughtful insights into trauma, resilience, and the human capacity for renewal. The result is a memoir that is both emotionally moving and intellectually encouraging.
Above all, Out of the Cocoon is a book about hope. It reminds readers that healing is not about erasing the past but about reclaiming the future. It is a compelling testament to the resilience of the human spirit and an uplifting read for anyone seeking encouragement through life's challenges.
August 17, 2025
BOOK REVIEW 📖✨
A special thank you to Kelsey from @bookpublicityservices for gifting me this copy of @rosemaryesehagu book!
Rosemary’s powerful words throughout this book shows her resilience throughout her life. From overcoming childhood sexual abuse and the trauma it caused, to being an immigrant in the “land of the free” and all the complexities it comes with. Her story touched my heart. Though we come from different backgrounds and immigrated to the US, I too am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. It touched me in many ways. Your words of hope and freedom will bring comfort to many people who have also gone through what you’ve gone through.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your memoir. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. 🦋
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
A special thank you to Kelsey from @bookpublicityservices for gifting me this copy of @rosemaryesehagu book!
Rosemary’s powerful words throughout this book shows her resilience throughout her life. From overcoming childhood sexual abuse and the trauma it caused, to being an immigrant in the “land of the free” and all the complexities it comes with. Her story touched my heart. Though we come from different backgrounds and immigrated to the US, I too am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. It touched me in many ways. Your words of hope and freedom will bring comfort to many people who have also gone through what you’ve gone through.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your memoir. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. 🦋
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
June 17, 2025
I was lucky to receive this book through a Goodreads giveaway. Not only did the author sign it, but she also included such a kind and thoughtful message inside. This book is incredibly powerful. Even though I don’t share the author’s experiences, I found her insights universally valuable and her stories deeply moving. What stuck with me most was her use of the butterfly’s life cycle as a metaphor for healing. It was such a beautiful and hopeful way to frame the process. This book will serve as a reminder to me that no matter the hardships I’ve faced in my own life, becoming a butterfly is possible.
November 10, 2025
It succeeds in telling a story of trauma, healing, becoming with clarity, heart, and metaphorical depth. While it isn’t perfect, it provides meaningful value. Great in transforming the metaphor of the cocoon into a real life narrative of becoming.
August 22, 2025
This was a great collection of poems related fi post traumatic growth. The collection was split in the phases of metamorphosis for a butterfly, which is creative.
November 3, 2026
Out of the Cocoon: the journey to becoming by Rosemary Esehagu
A memoir in prose and poetry about self-love, trauma, and overcoming trauma.
Two critical events shaped Rosemary Esehagu’s life. The first happened in Nigeria, her native country, where she grew up. Esehagu was sexually abused when she was a child.
The second event happened when she arrived in the United States at sixteen-year-old. She experienced emotional abuse that threatened her identity and security.
“The abuses I endured nearly turned me into a miserable soul, unable to find peace, love and trust,” she writes, adding that those abuses failed to imprison her because she recognized that she could reconstruct herself.
In her memoir, Rosemary Esehagu shares her journey (in the prose section) to becoming the mother she is today with a rare honesty that can help readers going through the same path.
Her reconstruction was not linear. It was difficult. Chaotic. She hated any man’s sexual interest in her. She was abnormally independent. Many times, she pretended to be quiet, absent.
She swallowed her abuses, reminiscent of her childhood experiences because she didn’t want to voice her dissent or anger for fear of appearing defiant, aggressive, or accusatory.
“But abuse is not pretty,” she notes. “No one wants to hear it. No one wants to be conscious of the existence of the varieties of evil that are locked away in each of us, for fear that knowledge might unlock their chains.”
But how can one write about abuse in a way that is digestible ? By sharing her story and her healing experiences with sincerity, Rosemary Esehagu managed to even turn her book into an educational resource.
To heal, she followed four core steps. Firstly, she had an anchor. Her trauma therapist helped her heal her childhood wounds. But her main anchor was and is still God, she writes, describing how “praying was therapeutic”.
Then came her family and friends who helped with their patience and love, through her breakdowns and ugliness.
Thirdly, Esehagu built a new vision. At some point, she became sick of herself, tired of the “reactionary Rosemary” who was constantly disturbed by her past. She dreamed of a life where she could be carefree, unshackled from her past that had kept her prisoner.
And finally, she stopped wishing to invalidate her past self, to rewrite her story with: “if only”, “I could have”, “I should have”... For her, it was the “hardest step “.
But Rosemary Esehagu became “more than my trauma.” “Because I love who I am now, I love who I was, and I recognize that all that I have to endure to become her.” Some of her best tools? Prayers and meditation.
As a proof of her healing, the poetry part of the book is a celebration. Dedicated to Amadou Diallo killed in 1999 by nineteen bullets from the forty-one gunshots of four white police officers in Bronx (New York), the 41 poems symbolize “a positive legacy “ since his family created Amadou Diallo Foundation that helps students pursuing their dreams of achieving a college education for example.
They turned tragedy into opportunities for young people. “This is posttraumatic growth,” Esehagu emphasizes in her memoir.
A resourceful autobiography for those who want to go beyond their trauma and live a happy life.
A memoir in prose and poetry about self-love, trauma, and overcoming trauma.
Two critical events shaped Rosemary Esehagu’s life. The first happened in Nigeria, her native country, where she grew up. Esehagu was sexually abused when she was a child.
The second event happened when she arrived in the United States at sixteen-year-old. She experienced emotional abuse that threatened her identity and security.
“The abuses I endured nearly turned me into a miserable soul, unable to find peace, love and trust,” she writes, adding that those abuses failed to imprison her because she recognized that she could reconstruct herself.
In her memoir, Rosemary Esehagu shares her journey (in the prose section) to becoming the mother she is today with a rare honesty that can help readers going through the same path.
Her reconstruction was not linear. It was difficult. Chaotic. She hated any man’s sexual interest in her. She was abnormally independent. Many times, she pretended to be quiet, absent.
She swallowed her abuses, reminiscent of her childhood experiences because she didn’t want to voice her dissent or anger for fear of appearing defiant, aggressive, or accusatory.
“But abuse is not pretty,” she notes. “No one wants to hear it. No one wants to be conscious of the existence of the varieties of evil that are locked away in each of us, for fear that knowledge might unlock their chains.”
But how can one write about abuse in a way that is digestible ? By sharing her story and her healing experiences with sincerity, Rosemary Esehagu managed to even turn her book into an educational resource.
To heal, she followed four core steps. Firstly, she had an anchor. Her trauma therapist helped her heal her childhood wounds. But her main anchor was and is still God, she writes, describing how “praying was therapeutic”.
Then came her family and friends who helped with their patience and love, through her breakdowns and ugliness.
Thirdly, Esehagu built a new vision. At some point, she became sick of herself, tired of the “reactionary Rosemary” who was constantly disturbed by her past. She dreamed of a life where she could be carefree, unshackled from her past that had kept her prisoner.
And finally, she stopped wishing to invalidate her past self, to rewrite her story with: “if only”, “I could have”, “I should have”... For her, it was the “hardest step “.
But Rosemary Esehagu became “more than my trauma.” “Because I love who I am now, I love who I was, and I recognize that all that I have to endure to become her.” Some of her best tools? Prayers and meditation.
As a proof of her healing, the poetry part of the book is a celebration. Dedicated to Amadou Diallo killed in 1999 by nineteen bullets from the forty-one gunshots of four white police officers in Bronx (New York), the 41 poems symbolize “a positive legacy “ since his family created Amadou Diallo Foundation that helps students pursuing their dreams of achieving a college education for example.
They turned tragedy into opportunities for young people. “This is posttraumatic growth,” Esehagu emphasizes in her memoir.
A resourceful autobiography for those who want to go beyond their trauma and live a happy life.
March 25, 2026
Out of the Cocoon: The Journey to Becoming by Rosemary Esehagu is a poignant and deeply moving memoir that illuminates the transformative power of resilience and posttraumatic growth. Drawing on her unique background in psychology and medicine, Esehagu recounts her journey from childhood abuse and the challenges of immigrating to the United States, to finding purpose and reclaiming her narrative.
Her prose and poetry blend seamlessly, offering both raw honesty and lyrical reflection. The memoir does more than recount hardships; it provides readers with insight into how trauma can be repurposed into strength and empowerment. Esehagu’s voice is authentic, compassionate, and inspiring, making this a must-read for anyone seeking hope, healing, and the tools to transform adversity into personal growth.
This work will resonate particularly with readers interested in memoirs of resilience, mental health advocacy, and overcoming systemic and personal challenges.
Her prose and poetry blend seamlessly, offering both raw honesty and lyrical reflection. The memoir does more than recount hardships; it provides readers with insight into how trauma can be repurposed into strength and empowerment. Esehagu’s voice is authentic, compassionate, and inspiring, making this a must-read for anyone seeking hope, healing, and the tools to transform adversity into personal growth.
This work will resonate particularly with readers interested in memoirs of resilience, mental health advocacy, and overcoming systemic and personal challenges.
August 11, 2025
This book was an easy read and absolutely beautiful in so many deep ways. It’s not just about trauma but about healing and the transformation one can make into a better stronger version of themselves, despite what they’ve had to endure. I thought the poetry throughout the book was the best part of all! This book is empowering, inspiring, and relatable.
Thanks to Book Publicity Services for the free copy. I gave this review voluntarily.
Thanks to Book Publicity Services for the free copy. I gave this review voluntarily.
April 19, 2025
Won this book on a Goodreads Giveaway What a wonderful book as we follow the healing journey of the author. It was heartbreaking to hear how it started, but so wonderful that she found a way out. The poems were remarkable and showed the anguish that led to where she is today.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews