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Undiluted
Dear Author,
He was stumbling through the streets without any goal in mind. It was getting colder. He should be searching for a place to sleep, but he kept walking. Today was a bad day. Scratch that, the last eight years were bad. Ever since he realized who he was, what he could do, just how powerful he was, his weeks were full of bad days. He couldn’t trust anyone. Those who didn’t want to use him for their own goals were afraid of him and wanted to see him dead. He wrapped his arms around his skinny upper body, trying to stop the trembling. He was starving and the thirst was making him dizzy. His control was slipping he could feel it. The air around him was getting restless; he heard the ground under his feet cracking and felt the fire under his skin trying to break through. He was just thankful that it wasn’t raining.
They came out of nowhere (or maybe he wasn’t paying attention). Before he had a chance to run away, he was lying on the ground his hands instinctively wrapped around his head. They kicked him and shouted at him. He couldn’t understand what they were saying too busy listening to his own thoughts. He almost wanted to laugh. He could easily kill them all, it would be a matter of seconds. But he didn’t do anything. It wasn’t that he wanted to die per se. It was just that he was tired. Tired of running, hiding. Of not being able to trust anybody. He didn’t even flinch when the shot came.
****
It was on his way to get some food when he heard the shot. Without thinking he started to run, drawing his gun. But he wasn’t fast enough. When he ran around the corner he saw a black SUV starting to drive away, his shouted “Stop! Police” was more than useless.
He was about to look at the license plate when he heard a soft whimper. Lying on the ground was a body. The Man was tall, maybe a few centimeters smaller than him, skinny and clothed from his head to his feet in black. He wasn’t moving. But what made him hesitate to approach the hurt man wasn’t that he seemed dead. As a cop, he had seen many things he rather hadn’t. In particular, cases involving Elementals were especially gruesome. But that was something else. He had never seen something so disturbing and so beautiful in his whole damn life. The whole body of the kid (now that he was near him he saw that he couldn’t be much older than 18) was on fire. It surrounded him like a shield. A bullet hovered only a few centimeters above his throat, stopped mid-air in the glowing wall of fire, saving the kid’s life. A soft sob drew his eyes to the kid’s face. Black hair, red, full lips and shocking pale skin distracted him for a second. But the bruises that were slowly appearing on his sharp cheekbones and the blood that was trickling from the corner of his mouth threw him back to the situation. His hand closed around a bony shoulder, shaking him carefully.
“Hey kid, wake up!”
The kid’s eyes fluttered open. He got an impression of dark green eyes before they closed again. A chuckle escaped the kid’s lips:
“Figured I wouldn’t die… story of my life”
“Son of a— hey kid stay awake! I’ll call the hospital”
Suddenly the fire surrounding the kid was getting brighter.
“Please, no hospital, please… they’ll find me… please” he mumbled, his words almost indistinguishable. The fire was starting to fade away.
“What? Hey, no! Stay with me” the fire disappeared
“What. The. Fuck!?”
Photo Description:
At war with the shadows, a young man conjures a weak shell of smokeless flame about his body. The darkness in his dirty, dank surroundings is split asunder. Cut away by the youth’s amber light. He stands defiantly, half-naked and half-starved, bathed in the blossoming heat which bends to his will. Gazing forward, his mind wonders. Yearning for companionship; desperate to escape the life in which he is trapped, while dreaming of solace.
This story was written as a part of the M/M Romance Group's "Love’s Landscapes" event. Group members were asked to write a story prompt inspired by a photo of their choice. Authors of the group selected a photo and prompt that spoke to them and wrote a short story.
This story may contain sexually explicit content and is intended for adult readers. It may contain content that is disagreeable or distressing to some readers. The M/M Romance Group strongly recommends that each reader review the General Information section before each story for story tags as well as for content warnings.
He was stumbling through the streets without any goal in mind. It was getting colder. He should be searching for a place to sleep, but he kept walking. Today was a bad day. Scratch that, the last eight years were bad. Ever since he realized who he was, what he could do, just how powerful he was, his weeks were full of bad days. He couldn’t trust anyone. Those who didn’t want to use him for their own goals were afraid of him and wanted to see him dead. He wrapped his arms around his skinny upper body, trying to stop the trembling. He was starving and the thirst was making him dizzy. His control was slipping he could feel it. The air around him was getting restless; he heard the ground under his feet cracking and felt the fire under his skin trying to break through. He was just thankful that it wasn’t raining.
They came out of nowhere (or maybe he wasn’t paying attention). Before he had a chance to run away, he was lying on the ground his hands instinctively wrapped around his head. They kicked him and shouted at him. He couldn’t understand what they were saying too busy listening to his own thoughts. He almost wanted to laugh. He could easily kill them all, it would be a matter of seconds. But he didn’t do anything. It wasn’t that he wanted to die per se. It was just that he was tired. Tired of running, hiding. Of not being able to trust anybody. He didn’t even flinch when the shot came.
****
It was on his way to get some food when he heard the shot. Without thinking he started to run, drawing his gun. But he wasn’t fast enough. When he ran around the corner he saw a black SUV starting to drive away, his shouted “Stop! Police” was more than useless.
He was about to look at the license plate when he heard a soft whimper. Lying on the ground was a body. The Man was tall, maybe a few centimeters smaller than him, skinny and clothed from his head to his feet in black. He wasn’t moving. But what made him hesitate to approach the hurt man wasn’t that he seemed dead. As a cop, he had seen many things he rather hadn’t. In particular, cases involving Elementals were especially gruesome. But that was something else. He had never seen something so disturbing and so beautiful in his whole damn life. The whole body of the kid (now that he was near him he saw that he couldn’t be much older than 18) was on fire. It surrounded him like a shield. A bullet hovered only a few centimeters above his throat, stopped mid-air in the glowing wall of fire, saving the kid’s life. A soft sob drew his eyes to the kid’s face. Black hair, red, full lips and shocking pale skin distracted him for a second. But the bruises that were slowly appearing on his sharp cheekbones and the blood that was trickling from the corner of his mouth threw him back to the situation. His hand closed around a bony shoulder, shaking him carefully.
“Hey kid, wake up!”
The kid’s eyes fluttered open. He got an impression of dark green eyes before they closed again. A chuckle escaped the kid’s lips:
“Figured I wouldn’t die… story of my life”
“Son of a— hey kid stay awake! I’ll call the hospital”
Suddenly the fire surrounding the kid was getting brighter.
“Please, no hospital, please… they’ll find me… please” he mumbled, his words almost indistinguishable. The fire was starting to fade away.
“What? Hey, no! Stay with me” the fire disappeared
“What. The. Fuck!?”
Photo Description:
At war with the shadows, a young man conjures a weak shell of smokeless flame about his body. The darkness in his dirty, dank surroundings is split asunder. Cut away by the youth’s amber light. He stands defiantly, half-naked and half-starved, bathed in the blossoming heat which bends to his will. Gazing forward, his mind wonders. Yearning for companionship; desperate to escape the life in which he is trapped, while dreaming of solace.
This story was written as a part of the M/M Romance Group's "Love’s Landscapes" event. Group members were asked to write a story prompt inspired by a photo of their choice. Authors of the group selected a photo and prompt that spoke to them and wrote a short story.
This story may contain sexually explicit content and is intended for adult readers. It may contain content that is disagreeable or distressing to some readers. The M/M Romance Group strongly recommends that each reader review the General Information section before each story for story tags as well as for content warnings.
117 pages, ebook
First published July 2, 2014
1 person is currently reading
56 people want to read
About the author
Dayton Idoni
7 books18 followersI'm all about the fun factor!
Personally, after a long day at work, I like nothing more than to get home from the toil and ferment in a boiling bath with a book. I like stories with a lot of imagery and motifs that carry me away from the natural world.
I love fantasy, supernatural, sci fi and horror.
When I write, I aspire to create a light-hearted, yet immersive experience for my readers. I try to incorporate a lot of what I like into my stories, in the hope the reader will enjoy it too.
I’m an eager writer who lives in the county of Nottinghamshire. (Yes my house is near Sherwood Forest; no I do not wear a green bycocket.)
From a very young age, I’ve read fantasy and horror stories, marvelling at the words artfully adorning the pages. My first love affair was with a book written by L. J. Smith. Her Night World series awed my turbulent teenage mind and I couldn’t read enough of her work. Following on from that, I’ve fallen in love with many other authors including, Anne Rice, James Clemens, and Trudi Canavan. I find their writing to be both inspiring and enthralling.
I’m also a massive geek and will happily spend hours playing on RPG console games. Some of the most content moments in my life have involved me being tucked away with a bar of Dairy Milk Chocolate in one hand and my PlayStation pad in the other. I’ve lost hours without end to the likes of Final Fantasy, Suikoden, Zelda, The Secret of Mana, and Breath of Fire. These story-driven RPGs have had a profound effect over my creative psyche and probably influence my writing more than I dare to let on…
I sincerely hope you enjoy reading what I’ve written. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than to think I’ve sprinkled a little bit of enjoyment into the lives of other people.
Personally, after a long day at work, I like nothing more than to get home from the toil and ferment in a boiling bath with a book. I like stories with a lot of imagery and motifs that carry me away from the natural world.
I love fantasy, supernatural, sci fi and horror.
When I write, I aspire to create a light-hearted, yet immersive experience for my readers. I try to incorporate a lot of what I like into my stories, in the hope the reader will enjoy it too.
I’m an eager writer who lives in the county of Nottinghamshire. (Yes my house is near Sherwood Forest; no I do not wear a green bycocket.)
From a very young age, I’ve read fantasy and horror stories, marvelling at the words artfully adorning the pages. My first love affair was with a book written by L. J. Smith. Her Night World series awed my turbulent teenage mind and I couldn’t read enough of her work. Following on from that, I’ve fallen in love with many other authors including, Anne Rice, James Clemens, and Trudi Canavan. I find their writing to be both inspiring and enthralling.
I’m also a massive geek and will happily spend hours playing on RPG console games. Some of the most content moments in my life have involved me being tucked away with a bar of Dairy Milk Chocolate in one hand and my PlayStation pad in the other. I’ve lost hours without end to the likes of Final Fantasy, Suikoden, Zelda, The Secret of Mana, and Breath of Fire. These story-driven RPGs have had a profound effect over my creative psyche and probably influence my writing more than I dare to let on…
I sincerely hope you enjoy reading what I’ve written. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than to think I’ve sprinkled a little bit of enjoyment into the lives of other people.
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
April 9, 2021
A good and interesting story. I really like the imagination of the author who created this extraordinary world. The main characters are also very good, although I'm not convinced that I felt the sparkles between them. But overall it was a pretty good story.
July 9, 2014
Offered for FREE from the M/M Romance Group's Love's Landscapes event. Thank you too all the amazing authors who participated!
3.5 stars Great prompt! And the story delivered very well. I'm deciding to rate this more as an Urban (Alternate Universe) Fantasy, and less as a romance. Really interesting idea with complex world building, and very well executed. But it did get a little slow in the middle for me.
The author's bio states that they like to create a "light-hearted, yet immersive experience". This wasn't quite light-hearted, but given some of what Ren had been through I think it may have been more effective for it to be slightly darker. They mentioned a few times how Ren had been imprisoned in a salt-lined cell, for three years, and had only recently broken out. Three years. That didn't come across to me. He should have been more angry, more fucked up, more... something.
And that something might have created more a catalyst for an emotional relationship with Theo. I liked Theo, and I liked these guys together. But the romance didn't seem necessary. Like the story wouldn't have been very different if they hadn't decided they liked each other.
Very good story. Very well written. I think a little more focus on the darker parts of Ren's past and a little more time for Ren and Theo to develop a relationship between the kiss and the climax (not that climax, get your mind out of the gutter!) would have bumped it up to a 4+ for me.
August 7, 2014
3.5
The world building is wildly ambitious for this story, and mostly it's really impressive. I really liked the basic set-up of Djinn vs. humans and the alternative historical setting; the characterization and action set-ups were likewise very strong.
For me at least, this felt like a draft, which makes sense given the time constraints of the Loves' Landscape prompt-to-publication timeline. But most of the story's info-delivery was really rough, both the opening preface and a lot of the "dialogue" about what is happening, much of which fall into the trap of having a character explain to another character things that both must already know. Those conversations contrast markedly with the scenes where the characters are acting or talking as themselves--that is, not as explicators of the fantasy world. I also found the fantasy set-up to be seriously confusing. In my experience, fantasy fans differ sharply in how much complexity they like in their invented worlds. The example I always come back to is World of Warcraft, which possesses a fantasy set-up so unbelievably complex that it becomes essentially inaccessible to those who are not already immersed or who are not very highly motivated and willing to pour over an encyclopedia's worth of opaque and confusing mythology. (The author does inform us in his bio that he is a big fan of video games.)
All of this is to say, that I found this set-up to be on the far end of the opaque/complexity spectrum, to the point that it would take more effort than I was likely to spend unpacking it all. This is an added reason to be very leery of info-dumps. Moreover, what appealed to me most about the book were the less arcane and to me more human aspects of the story--the relationship between Ren and Bronson and their engaging, slow-burn romance, the landscape of the city of New Yarlynn, the great action sequences, and the more small scale fantasy aspects like Ren's problems controlling his powers, the power of salt to negate magic, the blood-dealer, all of which could be incorporated without much explanation.
My gut tells me we will be seeing more fantasy works from Mr. Idoni, and I am personally very excited to read what he comes up with. In a few short months he managed to put together a remarkably complex, complete fantasy universe. My hope is that in future books, he will take pity on those of us who are unable to dive into the uber-complex mythologies found in the gaming universe, and instead allow his amazing world to reveal itself gradually over time, coming into focus through his characters' choices and reactions to the world they inhabit.
The world building is wildly ambitious for this story, and mostly it's really impressive. I really liked the basic set-up of Djinn vs. humans and the alternative historical setting; the characterization and action set-ups were likewise very strong.
For me at least, this felt like a draft, which makes sense given the time constraints of the Loves' Landscape prompt-to-publication timeline. But most of the story's info-delivery was really rough, both the opening preface and a lot of the "dialogue" about what is happening, much of which fall into the trap of having a character explain to another character things that both must already know. Those conversations contrast markedly with the scenes where the characters are acting or talking as themselves--that is, not as explicators of the fantasy world. I also found the fantasy set-up to be seriously confusing. In my experience, fantasy fans differ sharply in how much complexity they like in their invented worlds. The example I always come back to is World of Warcraft, which possesses a fantasy set-up so unbelievably complex that it becomes essentially inaccessible to those who are not already immersed or who are not very highly motivated and willing to pour over an encyclopedia's worth of opaque and confusing mythology. (The author does inform us in his bio that he is a big fan of video games.)
All of this is to say, that I found this set-up to be on the far end of the opaque/complexity spectrum, to the point that it would take more effort than I was likely to spend unpacking it all. This is an added reason to be very leery of info-dumps. Moreover, what appealed to me most about the book were the less arcane and to me more human aspects of the story--the relationship between Ren and Bronson and their engaging, slow-burn romance, the landscape of the city of New Yarlynn, the great action sequences, and the more small scale fantasy aspects like Ren's problems controlling his powers, the power of salt to negate magic, the blood-dealer, all of which could be incorporated without much explanation.
My gut tells me we will be seeing more fantasy works from Mr. Idoni, and I am personally very excited to read what he comes up with. In a few short months he managed to put together a remarkably complex, complete fantasy universe. My hope is that in future books, he will take pity on those of us who are unable to dive into the uber-complex mythologies found in the gaming universe, and instead allow his amazing world to reveal itself gradually over time, coming into focus through his characters' choices and reactions to the world they inhabit.
July 5, 2014
I absolutely loved this story. The obvious research done on Djinn lore really added to the fantastic world building. The salt cells were a good touch. Ren and Bronson are great characters and I’d like to see more of the. I also loved that the ladies weren’t marginalized and were in fact, kick ass. Well done.
September 21, 2014
This book was too big for this delivery. This was an epic that was scaled down for Love's Landscapes. I would love to read the full version as there were definite plot holes. Also, the romance was cut too much and I didn't feel any connection with the MCs. That said, the writing is great, the story really interesting and the world building was fantastic.
July 22, 2016
4.5 Stars - I really loved this story! it was imaginative and action packed. Though there is no sex scenes, I still felt the caring and romance in it. Great world building and it stayed true to the story prompt.
January 1, 2016
A great plot and world building. The writing felt a bit unbalanced for me. There are parts that were too long and then other parts felt rushed. I guess that happened due the deadline and because the story was larger than the word count.
July 6, 2014
This was good. Oh yes.
November 1, 2014
Ren is a young fire elemental. Even though he isn’t the only one, he is special. Which, later on in the story you find out why. People are out to get him and it is all about survival. Trouble/Tragedy follow him everywhere. Then one day a human saves him, Bronson. Bronson is a handsome man, a police officer, who is looking for the person/s responsible for killing his sister. Ren believes he is the reason. It seems they are fated to be in each other’s lives though. Finally, Bronson gets sucked in too far with the ‘conspiracy’ and now is running around with the handsome Ren to try to find out the truth, with the help of another elemental. Soon, the truth starts to unfold and it is much larger than either of them expected. There is no turning back, and soon they are on the front lines of it all.
I liked this story. Even though we do get our romance, it isn’t merely focused on it. It involves a good plot and rounded ending.
I liked this story. Even though we do get our romance, it isn’t merely focused on it. It involves a good plot and rounded ending.
August 16, 2014
loved this fantasy/AU story. It has a very contemporary feel whilst combining something very ancient and very oriental very successfully. This story sang to my Manga gene and I could well see this in a Graphic Novel edition, which I would buy without hesitation.
I particularly enjoyed the fact that the story gave me a lot off information about the world Bronson and Ren inhabit without bogging down the plot. the writer lets us make up or own minds about where and when this story is actually set, giving us just the right amount of info so that we can follow the plot.
I would be very happy to read more about this world and the characters created here.
I particularly enjoyed the fact that the story gave me a lot off information about the world Bronson and Ren inhabit without bogging down the plot. the writer lets us make up or own minds about where and when this story is actually set, giving us just the right amount of info so that we can follow the plot.
I would be very happy to read more about this world and the characters created here.
August 27, 2014
OK, So I have a hard time rating this one. Why? Because there was a whole novel (which I much appreciate) packet into a novella which causes of course some shortcomings.
Amongst these shortcomings fall. That I necer really got to like ANY of the characters, the romance part was so short and for me unbelievable and in the way the story had to hurry to the end, unnecessary that I wouldn't title this as a romance at all. There were some plot holes which could have been solved by few more lines and the pacing might have been improved. A bit to much telling than showing in cases.
I appreciate this story a lot, it's imaginative and well written and the author is very talented.
Amongst these shortcomings fall. That I necer really got to like ANY of the characters, the romance part was so short and for me unbelievable and in the way the story had to hurry to the end, unnecessary that I wouldn't title this as a romance at all. There were some plot holes which could have been solved by few more lines and the pacing might have been improved. A bit to much telling than showing in cases.
I appreciate this story a lot, it's imaginative and well written and the author is very talented.
July 9, 2014
2,5 stars. Minus one star because of the Italian scientists and the project Sguinzagliare (seriously, does the author even knows the meaning of this word? No offense, just saying.), I feel quite offended, it would have been more realistic with, I don't know, German scientists?! =__=
Also, not a full 3 stars because this was hardly m/m, I mean, there was hardly romance. At one point I felt like the kiss was unnecessary (and the epilogue too, it was too brief and inconclusive). =__=
But overall, a nice read.
Also, not a full 3 stars because this was hardly m/m, I mean, there was hardly romance. At one point I felt like the kiss was unnecessary (and the epilogue too, it was too brief and inconclusive). =__=
But overall, a nice read.
Read
April 26, 2016Less romance, more urban fantasy with gay characters.
Impressive world building but the relationship aspect needed some work.
The constant use of 'the older man' and 'kid' annoyed me, especially once it was established Theo was only 24 to Ren's 19.
Impressive world building but the relationship aspect needed some work.
The constant use of 'the older man' and 'kid' annoyed me, especially once it was established Theo was only 24 to Ren's 19.
event-stories-unread
September 22, 2014[NOTE: I rate most writing event stories (free reads) 4 or 5 stars because of my appreciation of the author's participation and gift.]
Want to read
July 9, 2014STORY INFO:
Genre: fantasy
Tags: new adult, action, non-explicit, mythical creatures, mystery, alternate universe, magic users
Word Count: 40,126
Genre: fantasy
Tags: new adult, action, non-explicit, mythical creatures, mystery, alternate universe, magic users
Word Count: 40,126
didn-t-finish
August 5, 2014Too dark for my taste.
August 27, 2014
Review to come
September 3, 2014
3.5 stars
March 3, 2015
lost some points because of the useless epilogue
July 31, 2016
3.5 stars
September 21, 2014
2.5 to 3 star rating for encouragement since this could become a good story with some development.
May 2, 2017
2.25 stars
He's not a kid or else it's disgusting. He's a teen they keep saying. Better be 18 or 19.
Telling telling telling.
Huh? Normal speech and then "mayhap"? Who says that? Is that a British thing?
I didn't like that chapter one started with a universal narrator that changed to third person.
This has a lot of potential. I like the world building and the action, danger and peril. But it's too condensed. Like a Readers' Digest version of the story. So much action takes place off page. I understand this is because of the time constraints of Love's Landscapes but I wish the author had scaled down the story and later wrote it into a novel.
The girl's back is to the officer. The MC has the gun pointed at him from behind by the officer. But he sees her arrive. She's staring at the djinni and we're in the officer's head and he describes her face. Then he again notes that she's not facing him. I think this is going for Universal Narrator but it just feels like it's jumping back and forth and head hopping. Either way, it's distancing.
The first time Aileen appears, she attacks Reb without provocation and now she's helping him?
Way too much here, too much backstory, too many characters, too many cryptic pronouncements. If this were at least four times as long, it would be great, but as it is, nothing is fleshed out or fully explained, there's no time to digest or process anything, and we are mostly told stuff rather than seeing it. There's no time for me to believe the budding relationship.
I somehow missed why his flames turn things to gold. If he made too many things gold (and he's converting some huge things like tractors) the price of gold would plummet.
18 to 24 is not a slight age gap; not when they're that young. That's a significant age gap. The older guy has lived a third again as long and then if I broke it down to years since puberty or years as an adult...
Why is Salamander a cat? Why isn't it a salamander?
He's not a kid or else it's disgusting. He's a teen they keep saying. Better be 18 or 19.
Telling telling telling.
Huh? Normal speech and then "mayhap"? Who says that? Is that a British thing?
I didn't like that chapter one started with a universal narrator that changed to third person.
This has a lot of potential. I like the world building and the action, danger and peril. But it's too condensed. Like a Readers' Digest version of the story. So much action takes place off page. I understand this is because of the time constraints of Love's Landscapes but I wish the author had scaled down the story and later wrote it into a novel.
The girl's back is to the officer. The MC has the gun pointed at him from behind by the officer. But he sees her arrive. She's staring at the djinni and we're in the officer's head and he describes her face. Then he again notes that she's not facing him. I think this is going for Universal Narrator but it just feels like it's jumping back and forth and head hopping. Either way, it's distancing.
The first time Aileen appears, she attacks Reb without provocation and now she's helping him?
Way too much here, too much backstory, too many characters, too many cryptic pronouncements. If this were at least four times as long, it would be great, but as it is, nothing is fleshed out or fully explained, there's no time to digest or process anything, and we are mostly told stuff rather than seeing it. There's no time for me to believe the budding relationship.
I somehow missed why his flames turn things to gold. If he made too many things gold (and he's converting some huge things like tractors) the price of gold would plummet.
18 to 24 is not a slight age gap; not when they're that young. That's a significant age gap. The older guy has lived a third again as long and then if I broke it down to years since puberty or years as an adult...
Why is Salamander a cat? Why isn't it a salamander?
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews