Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing Up Female

by Willa Shalit (Editor), Maya Angelou (Contributor), Lisa Bernhard (Contributor)

"The women in this collection were asked, simply, to recall a significant memory of growing up female. They responded generously, with intimate stories of their lives. Instead of the superficial prepackaged blurbs of TV sound bites and press releases, they told stories from their hearts; they told secrets never spoken before. They revealed themselves through stories of personal confusion and discovery, pain and overcoming, rejection and celebration."
•From Willa Shalit's Introduction

The stories shared by these sixty-seven remarkable women—writers, actors, musicians, journalists, activists—include:
•Kate Winslet on the media's eagerness to distort women's images.
•Zane on her belief in a woman's right to satisfaction.
•Lillian Vernon on being a trailblazing entrepreneur.
•J.K. Rowling on the transformation wrought by giving birth.

Filled with sparkling insights and powerful reflections, Becoming Myself is a gift for every woman.

Contributors:
Taina Bien Aime
Maya Angelou
Lisa Bernhard
Sylvia Boorstein
Carol Moseley Braun
Carol Channing
Gloria Feldt
Jyl Lynn Felman
Sally Fisher
Anne Glauber
Carole L. Glickfeld
Lynn Goldsmith
Lisa Gay Hamilton
Kitty Carlisle Hart
Esther Hautzig
Eva Hoffman
Helen Hunt
Janis Ian
Regina King
Patti LaBelle
Suzanne Malveaux
Margaret Hilary Marshall
Marlee Matlin
Rue McClanahan
Martha McPhee
Enrique Mercado
Kate Michelman
Lesléa Newman
Joyce Carol Oates
Tawni O'Dell
Tatum O'Neal
Suze Orman
J.K. Rowling
Ruth Knafo Setton
Brooke Shields
Jamie Lynn Sigler
Beverly Sills
Esta Soler
Suzanne Somers
Kate Spade
Susan Stamberg
Julia Stiles
Luisah Teish
Lily Tomlin
Nina Totenberg
Lillian Vernon
Cora Weiss
Vanessa Williams
Kate Winslet
Judy Woodruff
Judy Martin Zane

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Anthologies, Short Stories, Essays, Memoir, Autobiography

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2006

Reviews

[Callie · Rating 1 out of 5]

This review, although it may not be the most eloquent, it shall be the most beautiful and touching you have read in years. (just like the womans full figure). But it shall be in poem format, so PREPARE YOURSELF.

Growing up female, hard may it be
Is an experience that may never come free
We may struggle to live in a world of "perfection"
But in fact this perfection in nothing more than deception.

Every day people fake who they are
Pretend they are smart, better by far.
But everyone knows that this is just an act
So why do we listen to what others do, in fact

It matters not what others may say
Because you are you, in every single way.
You cannot be her, or that girl in the mall
You are you, imperfections and all.

So listen not to those who would have you go astray
Do they know you? NO! Not by the light of day!
And how often are you that girl?
who judges, and brings people down in a whirl?
Think ye of others, and how you may effect them
Can you hurt them, change them, or imperfect them?

Becoming yourself is just a part of life.
Without it, you will only have strife.
Listen not to the winds of the world
That would have you size 2, hair curled.
You are beautiful, every shape and size
So now all that is left is for you to realize
You are you, so don't let yourself be compremised
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY WORDS CANT BRING YOU DOWN!

this poem is dedicated to Kierstin's dear friend Kyra. KYRA, DON'T FORGET WHO YOU ARE! "YOU ARE MY SON, AND THE ONE TRUE KING"(MUFASA 78). You are a beautiful daughter of God with unmeasurable worth. ROCK ON RIGHTEOUS CHICK!

[Kari · Rating 2 out of 5]

Becoming Myself: Reflections on Growing Up Female is an interesting read. It is entertaining and uplifting with stories from famous and infamous women. These women talk of everything from first period to domestic violence. I disagree with some of the analysis these women give. Growing up female means something different and manifests in different ways.
Recently, several of my friends and I were discussing when we figured out we were feminists. I always knew; I always knew that I was equal with boys. I also believe that growing up female has some great aspects. Girls get don't have to deal with the current definition of masculinity. We can cry in public, and we can punch someone in the face (not that I recommend doing that). Then again there are negative aspects as well. There is the culture of fear females are raised in that few males ever understand. Females are subjected to a conventional and rarely disputed ideal body image.
I think the book loses some of it strength by the vastness of the essays. They cover so many topics, but still leave aspects of being female out. I also found the book to focus heavily on journalism and actresses, but if the author of the piece doesn't fall into one of those categories then you founded a non-profit.

[Danielle Louise · Rating 3 out of 5]

The variety of essays that make up this book makes it a difficult book to review. Some are better than others, but of course which ones are "better" will likely change drastically from reader to reader.

I think of this book as being aimed at maybe the 16-20 age group, and I think my reaction would have been more positive overall if I had read it when I was younger. I did, however, find it interesting to read the essays and respond to them as I do now but also think about how I would have responded at, say, 16 or 19. Because I'm now much more familiar with feminist academic discourse, there were some essays that felt too simplistic -- but probably would have been just what I needed to read at 16.

[Chenice · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most inspirational books I have ever read. As an 18 year old, I was unsure that the 'reflections' in the book would be useful for the period of my life I am currently at, but it is very well written and all of the reflections were touching, motivational and inspiring.

All too often men and even women put everything down to gender: I'm a female; I'll cook, I'm a male; I'll work. It shouldn't be like that.

I definitely recommend this book to those seeking inspiration and advice.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this up at a used book store seeing as I'm always searching for that perfect feminist book :) I enjoyed this one. The collection of writings is provided by a wide variety of women from all walks of life, giving you a small glimpse into a variety of experiences and worlds.

[Annaka · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book of short stories by famous women. Full of inspiring lives and wise women.

[Virginia]

Interesting reflections by well known women---some I recognized some not. Did seem repetitious

[Mary Karpel-Jergic · Rating 2 out of 5]

A collection of essays, some with very little words, none of any real length, which lightly touch individual experiences of growing up female. The majority are American women and I'm glad I had my tablet to look up detailed biographies.

All women have a fairly high profile and I'm not sure how they were selected. Many were in the media so likely that the editor Willa Shalit had easy access to these women.

Overall I did not feel that there was very much insight to be gleaned. I didn't really feel like any of the women's experiences resonated with mine. I also thought that many were rather shallow accounts but I guess in a short essay that's the best that can be offered.

Wide range of ages, in fact several have died between publication and now, and clearly the development of women's roles in the workplace has had a significant impact on how it has felt to be female since growing up in the 40s and 50s.

Maya Angelou said some interesting things. "I believe that very few people grow up. Most people grow older, but growing up is challenging."

Of most poignancy was her comment "Many times the only people women can identify with are not people in power". I think that remains true for many women today. It is often women of privilege and status that have the opportunities to become powerful women in their own right. Underprivileged and oppressed women would find little to identify with such experiences.

Janis Ian (she of when I was 17 fame) notes that she thinks that men don't think like women because they are hardwired differently. In fact they're incomprehensible. I'm inclined to agree!

Of course, some of what we experience as growing up female is just part of the human condition and not necessarily gender specific. As Carol Channing said "Then I found out that life isn't like that at all. You go through terrible things, which is the only way we grow. Otherwise, we don't learn anything. Looking back, I realise how important it is to be miserable at a certain time and to overcome challenges."

Kate Michelman's story touched me deeply. A leader in the pro-choice movement, her narrative provides the backdrop to how she became this woman. An open and moving account.

Luisah teish, a priestess of Oshun was able to convey the wider issues that we as women face on a constant basis. "This reflection in the mirror allows me to start my day with confidence, to overcome fear of failure, to combat the negative messages that are thrown at me everyday by the media, by misogynist men, and by other women who hate themselves through me."

I was surprised by Tatum O'neal and how she has survived a crazy celebrity upbringing to be a seemingly level headed, sensible woman who knows who she is.

Overall the book was a nice idea but for me didn't really deliver anything very substantial or mind changing in any way.

[Laura (Books, Interrupted) · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's taken me almost a year to finish this book and I think it's partly because I didn't find one essay that resonated with me. There might've been a few things that i could relate to but none that really stuck with me. That said, i appreciated having read a book of essays about growing up female. All the stories are different yet similar in that the women overcame diversity & their own obstacles to becoming strong, independent successful women.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

With such a variety of women and experiences, the passages range from just okay to excellent. I would recommend it to any woman because there are passages for everyone. I probably read this over a year total just reading a couple essays/statements at a time and is served its purpose of reminding me of female strength throughout.

[Rozana AlBanawi · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book collects written pieces by different famous women who have had the courage to embark on a self-accepting & feminine-embracing journey. Women like Maya Angelou, Meryl Steep have insightful words & wise teachings that I can still recall years after reading the book.
Again, it looks at womanhood or becoming yourself from a Western/American perspective.

[Josephine Ensign · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a great travel companion sort of book because it's easy to dip into and out of the short essays on being female. I especially appreciated the wide range of people's stories--famous women and more 'normal' everyday women. This was another Washington, DC Airbnb bookshelf read. My favorite aspect of staying at random Airbnbs is getting to dig into their 'leftover' books.

[Dave · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read. As a man I find that the more I listen to women's descriptions of their life's experiences ,the more I give myself space to perceive my own experiences with a greater sense of grace,patience and compassion-which ultimately gives me more depth and character and integrity as a man......
#timewellspent

[Katherine]

am loving this so far. brooke shields, maya angelou and many other celeb females write 3-4 page essays on their thoughts on growing up female. written by gene shallit's daughter, named willa after author willa cather.

[Elif B. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bazı bölümler çok güzeldi. Bazı bölümler saçma, abuk, uzaydan gelme vs. vs. En çok kitabın genelindeki Yahudilik vurgusundan rahatsız oldum, çünkü çoğu sırf söylemiş olmak için söylenmiş şeylerdi. Okuduğum için pişman değilim ama neyse ki bitti.

[Colleen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eh...it was ok...kind of boring and monotonous at some points...some of the contributors were very interesting though

[Amberly Crowford · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a little too "chic-lit" for me, but oddly enough, I enjoyed it. It kind of gave me a sense of pride for being female, I suppose you could say.

[Emily Kish · Rating 2 out of 5]

pretty boring. found myself skipping pages.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book--a great read for adolescent females.

[Carrie]

my students should read this!!

[Nathaly]

Volverme yo misma : reflexiones para madurar como mujer

[Rita · Rating 3 out of 5]

2006
Anecdotes and other short pieces the author asked [more and less] famous women in her network to write. Some are writers [Joyce Carol Oates], others are do-gooders, actors, organizers.
Very short pieces. 2006
Some are fascinating, others not.
I appreciated being introduced to some people I hadn't heard of, who have written books or memoirs I think I might like to read.

"Esther Hautzig's 1969 classic, *The Endless Steppe*, an autobiographical account of her life from age 10 to 15." She was born in Vilnius in 1930 and deported to Siberia with her parents and grandparents in June 1941. Since they were Jewish, this meant she survived the war without being sent to the Nazi death camps, which Jews in the Baltics were just a few months later.

Her "A Picture of Grandmother" received a prize ['for older readers, by Jewish libraries']. WRote some children's books too, about Jewishness.

[Claudia · Rating 3 out of 5]

OK. Many of the chapters seemed to have nothing to do with the title.

[Shannon Marie Wagner · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a gift and I didn't realize until I pulled it off the shelf it was 16 years old. A really cool complication of some old school women and the feminism of yesterday.