All Dressed in White: The Irresistible Rise of the American Wedding

by Carol Wallace

Explores the social history of the American wedding, from the discreet private ceremony of the past to the elaborate public event of the present, discussing the influence of such factors as wealth, class, gender, and the rise of popular media on the changing world of the marriage ceremony. Original. 35,000 first printing.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, Sociology

323 pages, Paperback

First published March 30, 2004

About the author

Carol Wallace, the great-great-granddaughter of Lew Wallace, is the author most recently of a new version of "Ben-Hur." It is the official tie-in of the new major film, releasing in August of 2016.

Carol is also the co-author of "To Marry an English Lord," which was one of the inspirations for "Downton Abbey," and author of the historical novel
"Leaving Van Gogh." Previous titles have included humor, parenting, and social history. In 2006 Wallace received a M.A. in art history from Columbia University. The research for her M.A. thesis provided the foundation for "Leaving van Gogh." A 1977 graduate of Princeton University, Wallace lives in New York.

Reviews

[Petra X · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book is mildly offensive. It makes it very plain at the beginning of the book, that 'white' is the operative word. Its not just about white weddings but about white people's weddings, white Christians at that. There is a statement fairly early on in the book that African-American weddings have not been much studied and a statement that the New York Times (or whatever the illustrious media of the social world of the day was, I forget) did not publish notices or reviews of Jewish weddings. Muslim and Hindu weddings didn't even get a one-word mention. Neither did gays although this book was published in 2004, not exactly the dark ages.

That said, it was endless, fluffy repetition and some very nice archival photographs dressed up as sociology.

If the book had been more correctly entitled, "All Dressed in White: The Irresistible Rise of American Whites' Weddings" I would have known to avoid it. I suggest you do!

Not recommended to anyone. Oh wait, the pages were reasonably large and the paper was of a very nice, soft quality, so in an emergency there are other uses for this book.


Read sometime in 2008, reviewed in 2011 and then chucked in the garbage bin

[Tracey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Checked this out from the library based on an SDMB recommendation.

All Dressed in White discusses and examines the evolution of the various elements of the wedding in the United States from the mid-1800's to the turn of the 21st century. The main focus is on the woman's role and activities; as weddings have traditionally focused around the bride. Fashion, food trends and the ceremony itself are discussed with equal gravity, and examined from both a sociological and historical standpoint.

A handful of black and white pictures are scattered through the book - it could have benefited from a central glossy photo section. Newspapers and magazines are used as primary source research, as well as sociological studies. A "Selected Sources" section, broken down by chapter, appears at the end of the book.

In general, Wallace keeps her editorializing to a low roar, with the possible exception of the last chapter: "This is Not Real Life". She proves some of the stories behind the traditions wrong, and sheds light on others. I would have liked to have seen more of an exploration of minorities; as her main focus seemed to be on the middle class and how it adopted the trappings of the upper class festivities along the way.

Recommended to those interested in human customs in general and the unique traditions of matrimony in particular.

[Dominique · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was pretty cool just because it confirms the belief that weddings can be, and are most of the time expected to be, super ridiculous. Why do some brides wear tiaras? Because a magazine decided to compare brides to some royalty that was getting married that year. And now we wear tiaras. I personally only wear tiaras when I'm hanging out watching TV, but that's a whole different therapy session.
Why is the poofy white dress (of which I must confess I ultimately succumbed to despite believing I was "not that kind of girl") a thing that seems standard? Because we don't like change and we also love anything English royalty do. Also the patriarchy!!!!
How come [insert basically anything wedding-related here]? Because retail stores LITERALLY made it all up. Thanks, Obama.

I know I sound angry, but I'm actually just amazed. A lot of wedding "tradition" is almost entirely nonexistent and is less than 100 years of steadily evolving complications mostly having to do with consumerism. But am I going to cancel my videographer and live band and chocolate dessert fountain and wear something that doesn't make me look like a literal faerie queen? Hell to the no. (Also I think it's too late to cancel those things. So there's that.)

[Crysta · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was mildly engaging with a few interesting tidbits about how several of the modern traditions have evolved. However, it was somewhat disorganized. I think arranging it either tradition-by-tradition or chronologically would have made for a better read. Instead, it was kind of a shotgun approach, almost as if the author cobbled things together as she stumbled upon them in her research. Good train reading - better than working!

[Trinity · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. I disliked how the author jumped through time as she was describing trends - it made it difficult to keep track of what trend happened where. I also feel like I didn’t learn That much about the history of the American wedding - but I certainly did learn some interesting tidbits. For one, I had no idea orange blossoms were so traditional. Throughout all of the other changes described in the book, orange blossoms remained constant from the 1850s well through the 1970s. I also enjoyed learning about the transition from having weddings inside of the home to church weddings and eventually to add ons such as receptions in reception halls. It makes sense that weddings were personal affairs in the home, especially during the world wars, when everything was homegrown and rushed. I also enjoyed learning about how favored materials changed - from white satin to matte fabrics back to white satin - and of course how wedding dresses were not always white. I was surprised also to the extent that the wedding has been manipulated by marketers. Very much in line with the feminine mystique - in the 50s and 60s, women were reduced to wives and purchasers, meant to spend their husband’s money in ways that advanced their station. Thus during this time the bridal market was born - with the industry making up such elements as a registry, a wedding ring, off the rack wedding dresses, catering, and more. Not to mention the advertising - in TV, movies, magazines. Phoof!

[Elisabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really interesting look at the evolution of wedding traditions in the US and very clearly makes the case that most of said traditions are just driven by consumerism (which is the true American past time). That being said, the other reviews hit the nail on the head: this book is really only about white, heterosexual weddings. It handles the class and wealth elements really well and creates an interesting narrative there about assimilation and class aspirations being realized through the “White Wedding,” but the lack of any mention of non-white, non-christian marriages or traditions, or gay marriage (despite the book covering the 19th century through early 2000s) is a pretty glaring omission that is swept under the rug with passing comments about how more research needs to be done

[Elisabeth]

I seem to be in the minority here but I really enjoyed this book and found it well-researched and interesting. I am British but couldn't find a similar book about UK wedding traditions so I plumped for this. I probably learned more than American readers as I am unfamiliar with much of the more specialised American tradition. I am disappointed, actually, to have finished the book without getting s handle on rehearsal dinners - I just don't get them! We don't have them in the UK.

It would be good to see an updated version if this book covering the 2010s and how the COVID-19 lockdown changes weddings in the long-term. Will the big wedding bounce back or will couples come to appreciate a more intimate, pared-down and more affordable celebration?

[Sandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this. I've been married a long time, but recently have found myself browsing wedding blogs. This book was an interesting history of the wedding in America, and explains a bit why the cost of them has tripled in the last 30 years!

Would recommend it!

[Ira Therebel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have trouble understanding human love for traditions. Why is it possible to excuse someone brutally killing an animal by just saying that it is a traditional ritual? Same goes with weddings. Don't get me wrong, I love weddings. I had fun at every wedding I was invited and think that they were beautiful. Yet I wonder why people want to continue with such rituals like the giving away of the bride by her father, it made perfect sense back in the days, it doesn't now. Or why do people spend so much money on things that shouldn't matter anymore, like the dress.

Unfortunately this book doesn't really address this. It is understandable that it makes the brides feel like celebrities, but it still doesn't explain to me the wish to follow the old traditions.

The book goes through the last century, telling us the changes in weddings what they could have been affected by and brings some examples from the pop culture. Actually I didn't like it so much. While it is understandable, considering the topic, I just felt too often as if I am reading a tabloid.

I also felt there were a lot of other traditions (like religious ones) that were not discussed even though they are a big part of the "American Wedding". It wasn't organized too well, some things seemed to be repeated too much.

It does have some interesting facts and trivia, and people who are into this topic may like it, but I feel this book could have been much better.

[E.H. · Rating 4 out of 5]

An intriguing look at the traditions behind the American wedding, for all brides who ever wondered why we're nearly required by society to wear a big white dress, spend $26,000 on one day, carry a vast array of flowers, serve a formal sit down dinner to everyone and his second cousin, and smile through the whole thing like we were auditioning for Miss America.

All in all, I appreciate having the ammunition so I have an easy answer if someone asks me why my fiance and I decided not to observe tradition x at our wedding. And from a historical perspective, a history of weddings is very much a history of women (since during much of history being a wife/mother was essentially a woman's career), so it was interesting to see how our forebears handled the situation, their expectations of it, etc. My main problem is that although the book goes all the way to the early 21st century, gay marriage isn't mentioned until about the last 50 pages, and then only once in passing, although the fight has been around since the 1970s in America, with a much longer history elsewhere. This complaint might be countered by the idea that the book is about weddings, whereas the fight for gay marriage is more about, well, marriage. But that seems like a cop out; surely there's something interesting to be said about gay weddings and the way the Wedding Industrial Complex looks at them.

[Abigail · Rating 4 out of 5]

An entertaining and thoughtful look at the arch of wedding customs in the U.S. Wallace sets her sociological analysis against the backdrop of American history, and she tells this story without a drop of negative overtones. I would be tempted to poke fun at the uber ornate wedding at Disney World, complete with Cinderella's glass coach, but Wallace just lets the reader know it is one of many ways to celebrate a marriage in the good ol' U.S. of A. That is not to say her work lacks critical analysis--quite the opposite. For any person curious about how the wedding ceremony evolved from families in the front parlor to the spectacle we see so often today, this is a very good read.

[Kerith · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this up hoping for more of a sociological look at the history of our wedding traditions. It started off in a promising manner, but in the end fell short of my expectations. Still, for those of us interested in such things, it's a fun look at weddings in the U.S. since Victorian times. The pictures of wedding costumes from other decades are a blast. I wish she'd given a chapter to the phenomenon of engagement rings, though. This seemed like a major omission.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Topics that interest me greatly! Weddings, sociology, etiquette, traditions, and that very American pursuit: consumption. Here's a tidbit example: Pages 214-217, the role of candid photography in making weddings similar; weddings having become organized around the photography rather than the other way around.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Totally fascinating! A sociological view of the wedding in American culture since the 19th century. Fun fact: the author was also a co-author of "The Preppy Handbook," a book that provided much entertainment to my friends and me in high school.

[Lizzy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can tell this woman's background is in art history, because she's much, much better at analyzing the visual culture surrounding weddings than she is talking about what actual people are doing.

She's also working from a faulty understanding of pre-war American life, which is common, but annoying.

[Liz De Coster · Rating 3 out of 5]

Plenty of interesting information, but a bit scattershot in organization, meaning some information was repeated and some themes were difficult to follow. Overall, interesting social history of changing ideas of marriage, even though it's already become a little bit dated.

[Jan · Rating 1 out of 5]

Didn't like this book...read the the author was just writing donw anything and everything about a wedding in America

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting. Actually passed it on after I read it so others could read it, too.

[Kaethe · Rating 3 out of 5]

good, but too much fiction, not enough pictures of what she's describing