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240 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published August 5, 1986
As if it were ordained by fate, he would always start gently, kindly, with every good intention, calling himself an old university student, an idealist, a Don Quixote. [tick] But then, without even realizing it, he would suddenly resort to abuse and slander. [tick] Most amazing of all, he would criticise the arts, science and morality, in all sincerity, although it was twenty years since he had last read a book or travelled further than the main town in the district, and he really didn't have any idea of what was going on out in the wide world. [tick] If he sat down to write something, even a letter of congratulation, that too would turn out abusive. All this was most peculiar, as he was in fact a sensitive man [as he thinks to himself], easily moved to tears....[tick. Shit this is sounding so familiar]
He had a nightmare in which he was standing in the middle of a room, naked and tall as a giraffe, poking his finger out and saying, 'Right in their fat mugs. Let them have it right in their fat ugly mugs!'....[Hey, that's my dream]
[The next day]
He lay on the couch in his study, then sat at his desk and began to write his daughters a letter. His hand shook and his eyes itched. He wrote that he was old now, unwanted and unloved, and he asked his daughters to forget him and, when he died, to bury him in a simple pine coffin, without any fuss, or to send his body to the dissecting theatre at Kharkov. He felt that every line breathed malice and play-acting, but he couldn't stop and kept writing, writing...