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If I Go Missing

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An astonishing debut, If I Go Missing is timely, fearless, and necessary. In these poems, Octavio Quintanilla measures displacement with language and grapples with the longing to begin anew, to return to what was left unsaid, undone. Redemption is not always possible in the geography of these poems, but there is always a sense of hope. And by this pulse we are guided, the poet's unmistakable voice that, finally, clears the way so we may find our bearing.

84 pages, Paperback

First published April 10, 2014

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Octavio Quintanilla

12 books3 followers

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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
Profile Image for Andrew.
157 reviews
December 24, 2019
Someone else here on Goodreads left a much more thorough & thoughtful review of this collection than what I'm about to leave. I encourage you to read his review here instead of mine, haha!

Octavio Quintanilla is masterful at painting a melancholic portrait of a time & space that I know pretty well, having lived in & still living in his contemporaneous hometown of San Antonio, Texas, USA. This collection reminded me a bit of Mary Gaitskill's Bad Behavior in the sense that these poems (in Gaitskill's case, short stories) rawly depict a way of life that will likely be seen as something of an underbelly. Sympathy for Quintanilla's subjects in If I Go Missing is present but lacking slightly, leaving me to struggle with relating wholeheartedly to a majority of his poems. Here is a list of my favorite poems from his book where I felt he landed his mark:
❇︎ [You take a stranger's life] p. 11
❇︎ The Poor p. 49
❇︎ Café Triste p. 66
❇︎ Landlords p. 71
I don't have any sort of thesis or strong viewpoint on this collection. I support him as a native son of the Alamo City, and I hope he continues to publish many more anthologies.
Profile Image for David.
Author 96 books1,176 followers
July 19, 2014
Just out from Slough Press is the first book by Octavio Quintanilla, If I Go Missing. Bracingly stark yet littered with both lyrical and thematic beauty, these poems center on the lives lived and lost in the fluid space of la frontera.

The first of the three sections largely explores the fallout from the shattering of dreams and repression of identity: men look for “a new opponent / more dangerous than the universe” “before water forgets / how to drown” them, men who are still “trembling / at the principal’s office” and unable to move on from the cultural humiliation heaped on them. The people in these poems often feel disassociated from their own bodies or as if they lived another’s life. When family members or neighbors die, there is a deep sense of loss that unmoors them.
The second section delves deeper into the hurt and despair of border folk, from the alienation of immigrants now horrified at Mexico’s descent into violence to the plight of those seeking to escape that world. From kidnappings to killings, from spirit-sapping drudgery to potential death in distant war zones, Quintanilla quietly guides us with an intimate tone and shocking imagery to face the realities of border life.

In the final section, the poet opens himself up even further, exploring poignantly how his own dual identity (born in Harlingen, raised in Mexico and Weslaco) continues to impact his roles as lover, husband, father, scholar. In poems like “Pretending” and “All of us have a story,” he seems to conclude, like Wallace Stevens, that life is about finding the right metaphor. “Maybe all you truly want is to have a story,” he tells us, and I think he’s right. The story he tells us about himself in these harrowingly lovely poems will linger in your mind long after you turn the last page.
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