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The Long Shoe
THE BRAND-NEW BOOK FOR 2025 BY 2 MILLION COPY BESTSELLING AUTHOR BOB MORTIMER.
Bathroom salesman Matt is at a crossroads. He has lost his job, he is about to be made homeless and his girlfriend has left him. He wants his luck to change and he wants things to go back to how they were. Out of the blue he is offered a job that comes with a free luxury apartment. He hopes this might be enough to tempt her back. But, as events unfold, it starts to dawn on him that perhaps she didn't leave of her own accord after all...
Praise for Bob
'As a comedian, Bob Mortimer spins a shaggy-dog story like nobody else' The Guardian
‘The much loved comic proves adept at noirish fiction in a debut whose surrealist humour sets it apart’ – Observer
‘Mortimer’s verbal specificity and off-kilter humour will keep his fans chuckling’ The Times
'There is a sweetness to his worldview that makes his writing gently poignant... Like Spike Milligan, the only vintage comic whose fiction is still read, Mortimer has managed to use a novel as a vehicle for his distinctive comedic voice' The Telegraph
Bathroom salesman Matt is at a crossroads. He has lost his job, he is about to be made homeless and his girlfriend has left him. He wants his luck to change and he wants things to go back to how they were. Out of the blue he is offered a job that comes with a free luxury apartment. He hopes this might be enough to tempt her back. But, as events unfold, it starts to dawn on him that perhaps she didn't leave of her own accord after all...
Praise for Bob
'As a comedian, Bob Mortimer spins a shaggy-dog story like nobody else' The Guardian
‘The much loved comic proves adept at noirish fiction in a debut whose surrealist humour sets it apart’ – Observer
‘Mortimer’s verbal specificity and off-kilter humour will keep his fans chuckling’ The Times
'There is a sweetness to his worldview that makes his writing gently poignant... Like Spike Milligan, the only vintage comic whose fiction is still read, Mortimer has managed to use a novel as a vehicle for his distinctive comedic voice' The Telegraph
Audible Audio
Published October 9, 2025
600 people are currently reading
3512 people want to read
About the author
Bob Mortimer
16 books1,326 followersRobert Renwick Mortimer is an English comedian, podcast presenter and actor. He is known for his work with Vic Reeves as part of their Vic and Bob comedy double act, and more recently the Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing series with comedian Paul Whitehouse. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Mor...]
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 385 reviews
October 12, 2025
Very pleased with what it achieved for me.
October 16, 2025
Dear Bob, if you happen to read this, please just sit down and write more books. Many, many more.
October 12, 2025
It’s so Bob. So, so Bob. Delightfully Bob. Encouragingly Bob. Presumably Bob.
October 18, 2025
This was disappointing to me. I’m a big fan of Bob Mortimer’s last two books, but this one fell flat. The first 20% was funny and had his usual dry tone, but at some point the humor all fell away and it was a fairly boring story. The charm and silliness of the main character just stopped and it seemed like a weird story that shouldn’t be a book.
I didn’t find the GF’s perspective to add anything—she wasn’t funny.
I also didn’t find the “crazy friend’s” perspective to add anything—she seemed more heartless than funny. I mean, why is that even a subtheme, that she strategically tries to break up couples? I didn’t follow why that was funny or even interesting.
I listened to this one vs reading like I did the prior two Bob Mortimer mysteries. I don’t think that was what made the difference, though.
An extremely ho hum story.
I didn’t find the GF’s perspective to add anything—she wasn’t funny.
I also didn’t find the “crazy friend’s” perspective to add anything—she seemed more heartless than funny. I mean, why is that even a subtheme, that she strategically tries to break up couples? I didn’t follow why that was funny or even interesting.
I listened to this one vs reading like I did the prior two Bob Mortimer mysteries. I don’t think that was what made the difference, though.
An extremely ho hum story.
October 22, 2025
Diminishing returns. I don't often read celeb-authored books, but I make the exception for Bob. The first one, The Satsuma Complex, took me by surprise due to my own low expectations. The following two haven't quite achieved the same. It's still funny and packed to the rafters with Mortimerisms and the boiler-plate absurdity that is his style, but for me the novelty is wearing off. Glad I listened on audio as I'd have probably dnf'd if it wasn't for Bob's narration.
October 14, 2025
Oh I was very entertained.
Hilarious, clever, what a bunch of characters.
Bob’s done it again!
Am I right?
Hilarious, clever, what a bunch of characters.
Bob’s done it again!
Am I right?
October 9, 2025
GENUINE REVIEW- READ ON DAY OF RELEASE.
Fans of the Satsuma Complex and The Hotel Avocado will absolutely love this quirky, funny, brilliant page turner by the wonderful Bob Mortimer.
I laughed out loud and couldn’t put it down. Absolutely brilliant. Matt is a brilliant character and I hope there is a sequel.
The characters and the whole story was genius. Genuinely one of the best books I’ve read all year.
Fans of the Satsuma Complex and The Hotel Avocado will absolutely love this quirky, funny, brilliant page turner by the wonderful Bob Mortimer.
I laughed out loud and couldn’t put it down. Absolutely brilliant. Matt is a brilliant character and I hope there is a sequel.
The characters and the whole story was genius. Genuinely one of the best books I’ve read all year.
November 11, 2025
The shoe was indeed frighteningly long
October 27, 2025
Audiobooked this one and it didn’t disappoint. Thank you Bob for the chuckles
October 18, 2025
Always fun, a.ways a laugh from Bob Mortimer.i love that narrates his own books too.
December 10, 2025
Who doesn’t love Bob Mortimer? He certainly can write!
His books are funny (no surprise there), warm, witty and very engaging. This is his third book and I enjoyed it immensely. Written with his unique humour, it was certainly a winner for me.
Read on my free Kindle BotrowBox Library App
His books are funny (no surprise there), warm, witty and very engaging. This is his third book and I enjoyed it immensely. Written with his unique humour, it was certainly a winner for me.
Read on my free Kindle BotrowBox Library App
September 27, 2025
I really enjoyed this. A really good plot that kept you guessing, and enjoyed the narrative device of filling in with the squirrel and pigeon voices.
Highly recommend, but read the satsuma complex first. You can certainly hear Bob telling the story, love him so that was fine.
Highly recommend, but read the satsuma complex first. You can certainly hear Bob telling the story, love him so that was fine.
December 20, 2025
A very Bob Mortimer book! The introduction of Goodmonson. Faint traces of theft and shrubbery. A long shoe. A fun read. Lovely to be inside Bob’s head for 4 days.
December 13, 2025
the wind up bird chronicle for middle aged british men. listened to the audiobook of this whilst cleaning and packing my flat because my mum recommended it to me. it was fine! semi-interesting story leading to a rather unsatisfying conclusion. he learnt the concept of a red herring and ran with it too far. but it was fun, and sweet, and as someone in persistent unemployment i’d rather like someone to do that for me
October 29, 2025
Bob’s back. His shoes are longer, his cats are chattier, and his cameras are sneakier. A comedic thriller that tiptoes through absurdity. All the better for him narrating it himself, with the equally dry humour of Diane Morgan. And he’s from a few miles from where I was born.
October 21, 2025
I have no words to express how much I enjoyed reading ‘The Long Shoe’ because Bob stole them all to write this book.
October 27, 2025
3.5⭐️ this finds equal joy in the mundane and absurd, but that does make it a bit difficult to land a satisfying ending - undoubtedly funny though
November 2, 2025
Very meh. Some parts were funny, but the story was just weird.
Listened on audible and would rather have spent my credit on something else.
Listened on audible and would rather have spent my credit on something else.
October 31, 2025
2.5⭐️ I fear Bob has one writing style, it’s very lighthearted but not much more.
October 31, 2025
I like Bob Mortimer, but this didn't really work for me. He excels at improv comedy, but it doesn't translate well to this medium.
October 19, 2025
I really wanted to like this more. Lots of half smile moments but missing the charm of Bob bouncing whimsically off Paul Whitehouse or someone else.
November 8, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I have loved Bob’s previous 2 books that I read last year so I was super excited for his new one! This was so good! This has the same humour from before. But with a brand new set of characters.
I don’t know why but I love it that he writes characters who talk to animals and then also respond as if they are actually having a conversation. This time around it’s a cat called Goodmoson! Gotta love a qwerk!
If you are looking for a funny, easy to read mystery with 3 or 4 suspects this is the book for you! So many funny moments that had me laughing out loud! Once again I absolutely devoured this book in 2 days, I loved it!
I will admit something has confused me a little, but I don’t know if it’s actually the writing (in a good way to mislead us as the reader) or my little brain being dumb and confusing things for myself 😂. Some of chapters in Harriet’s POV felt a bit jumbled up with the time frame, where she is, etc.
I won’t give the details here as I try to keep my reviews as spoiler free as possible.
But I was really surprised on how all that played out… Who took Harriet and why, why did Matt get the opportunity to move into this luxury place and what is Harriet’s big case?
I loved these new characters. The friendship between “Jigsaw” and “Hot Dog” was really funny as well as one of my favourite parts! Honestly so many fun characters to talk about but so little space! Satsuma Heights was a really interesting building, full of interesting characters, a fun mystery and a long shoe. I really hope Bob will write at least another one with these characters. I feel like there is more story to tell with them and the building.
I have loved Bob’s previous 2 books that I read last year so I was super excited for his new one! This was so good! This has the same humour from before. But with a brand new set of characters.
I don’t know why but I love it that he writes characters who talk to animals and then also respond as if they are actually having a conversation. This time around it’s a cat called Goodmoson! Gotta love a qwerk!
If you are looking for a funny, easy to read mystery with 3 or 4 suspects this is the book for you! So many funny moments that had me laughing out loud! Once again I absolutely devoured this book in 2 days, I loved it!
I will admit something has confused me a little, but I don’t know if it’s actually the writing (in a good way to mislead us as the reader) or my little brain being dumb and confusing things for myself 😂. Some of chapters in Harriet’s POV felt a bit jumbled up with the time frame, where she is, etc.
I won’t give the details here as I try to keep my reviews as spoiler free as possible.
But I was really surprised on how all that played out… Who took Harriet and why, why did Matt get the opportunity to move into this luxury place and what is Harriet’s big case?
I loved these new characters. The friendship between “Jigsaw” and “Hot Dog” was really funny as well as one of my favourite parts! Honestly so many fun characters to talk about but so little space! Satsuma Heights was a really interesting building, full of interesting characters, a fun mystery and a long shoe. I really hope Bob will write at least another one with these characters. I feel like there is more story to tell with them and the building.
October 10, 2025
Matt Giles is a recently redundant ex_salesman — specialising in gloriously high-end bathroom furniture aka baths. He lives in a rented two-bedroom house in Hither Green, SE London, with his girlfriend Harriet, an impressively capable CPS caseworker, and their cat, Gudmonsen.
With their lease coming to an end, Matt — now with far too many free days — is tasked with finding a new home. But he’s finding it hard to do much more than a bit of housework, or take his daily walk to the park followed by coffee with his neighbour Carol.
One day, Matt comes home from his walk to find a note from Harriet: she’s gone away for a few days and doesn’t want him to contact her. Upset and confused, Matt worries that their relationship might be over. What follows is a series of chance encounters, a suspiciously perfect high-end apartment that seems too good to be true, hapless adventures with various characters, and trying to keep the flirtatious Carol at arm’s length — though he can’t help needing her help from time to time.
Matt’s priorities become clear: win Harriet back, keep Gudmondsen safe, and find somewhere lovely for Harriet to return to.
It’s unmistakably the humour of Bob Mortimer — full of smiles, absurdity, and gentle laughs. Matt and Harriet are endearingly likeable, and the dialogue, especially from Lawrence (“I think so, don’t you agree? I know I do.”), is delightfully funny.
A light, warm-hearted read — and if you enjoy a bit of absurdity and the over-analysis of the mundane, I highly recommend it. Well, I think so, I hope you agree. I know I do.
With their lease coming to an end, Matt — now with far too many free days — is tasked with finding a new home. But he’s finding it hard to do much more than a bit of housework, or take his daily walk to the park followed by coffee with his neighbour Carol.
One day, Matt comes home from his walk to find a note from Harriet: she’s gone away for a few days and doesn’t want him to contact her. Upset and confused, Matt worries that their relationship might be over. What follows is a series of chance encounters, a suspiciously perfect high-end apartment that seems too good to be true, hapless adventures with various characters, and trying to keep the flirtatious Carol at arm’s length — though he can’t help needing her help from time to time.
Matt’s priorities become clear: win Harriet back, keep Gudmondsen safe, and find somewhere lovely for Harriet to return to.
It’s unmistakably the humour of Bob Mortimer — full of smiles, absurdity, and gentle laughs. Matt and Harriet are endearingly likeable, and the dialogue, especially from Lawrence (“I think so, don’t you agree? I know I do.”), is delightfully funny.
A light, warm-hearted read — and if you enjoy a bit of absurdity and the over-analysis of the mundane, I highly recommend it. Well, I think so, I hope you agree. I know I do.
November 1, 2025
another brilliant read from Bob. I got the signed version so will be keeping this. I love that he's changed the characters this time and I love Matt as a character. Carol is funny, her ought to bring her back in the next one. A thriller that is funny before it is thrilling!
October 12, 2025
If you like Bob Mortimer you’ll enjoy this his third novel. I listened to the audio version and it’s Bob himself reading, with Diane Morgan and Arabella Weir. They’re all fantastic. The mode of the story is not dissimilar to the earlier two but the story feels a little tighter I think. Enjoyed the characters including a grumpy cat. Missing person and odd goings-on to be solved. Plenty of Bob’s humour in the shaping of characters and situations. An enjoyable listen on a Sunday afternoon.
November 5, 2025
3.5 - Audio from Bob always makes me smile but the premise and characters were very similar to his previous books. That said I'm now waiting impatiently for his next one ☺️
November 9, 2025
Bob’s mind is a strange place
October 19, 2025
page turner, fun, good mystery enjoyed a lot will continue reading everything from Mr Mortimer
November 5, 2025
Yes Siree Bob !
It took me a while to work out this book didn't follow on from the previous two, but that's what happens when you don't read things properly.🤔
During the last two books I craved Battenberg and during this one it was eggs, Mr Mortimer I think you are some kind of subversive influencer, and companies are therefore missing a trick.
This was a very satisfying, highly entertaining read with shades of Magnus Mills thrown into the equation. Can't wait for more.
It took me a while to work out this book didn't follow on from the previous two, but that's what happens when you don't read things properly.🤔
During the last two books I craved Battenberg and during this one it was eggs, Mr Mortimer I think you are some kind of subversive influencer, and companies are therefore missing a trick.
This was a very satisfying, highly entertaining read with shades of Magnus Mills thrown into the equation. Can't wait for more.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 385 reviews