The Pocket Guide to Divorce: A Self-Help Work of Fiction

by Neil Connelly

In the wake of a cataclysmic divorce, Mitchell's doing great! Really, he's awesome. He's coping so well in fact that he's decided to write a book to help others like himself on the hard road of divorce. The manuscript rolls out self-esteem building exercises and advice on everything from the benefits of the Food Pyramid to the hazards of porn. Gradually though, Mitchell's true state of mind begins to emerge, and it's anything but ideal. Disastrous attempts at dating and therapy lead Mitchell to concoct a radical scheme to reclaim his identity. Like anyone who's gone through a crisis, Mitchell comes to face the grim reality that living through it is just the first step. As he tries to save others with his writing, Mitchell realizes that first, he's going to have to save himself.

128 pages, Paperback

First published October 8, 2014

About the author

Before returning to his home state of Pennsylvania, where he teaches at Shippensburg University, Connelly was director of the MFA program at McNeese State University. He has published five books and numerous short stories.

Reviews

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should have some kind of warning on the cover so spouses, when walking through the house, don't see you reading it and give you the "Ooooookay.... Do we need to talk about stuff?" look.

Pocket-Guide is a difficult book to star because... yikes! But also all the yeses. It's a wonderfully written but strange little book (which I say with utmost affection and respect). It's laugh out loud funny at times, but also heart-breakingly sad and nail-bitingly worrisome. Mitchell's experience is filled with universal Truth (full disclosure: I've never been divorced, but many friends have and this pretty much sums it up), but also such wacky details. His second-person narrative is so desperately specific that, as a reader, I know he's not writing to a broader general audience, as he claims to be throughout; he just doesn't want to be alone.

I cared deeply for this man, for the hurt he suffered, for his need to find closure and ultimately exorcise the pain of his experience through writing. (So deliciously meta!) Even as I knew Mitchell was fictitious, even though he's not the most reliable of narrators, reading his Guide feels like cracking open a diary. It's a voyeuristic train-wreck. And so help me, I couldn't stop reading.

[Zac A. · Rating 4 out of 5]

First off, I'd like to say that this book is not just for the Divorced.
I'm a 22 year old male with plenty of years ahead of me before I even start thinking about marriage.
In fact, after reading it, I would recommend this book to be read by anyone who is still married, or planning to marry because the book sheds true light on the terrible hardships that divorce ensues; which may ignite a spark inside the reader to really try and avoid divorce at all costs.

With that being said, the book itself is an up-and-down rollercoaster ride of laugh-out-loud dark, satirical humor mixed with heartbreaking moments of bereft emotion which you can't help but empathize.

The book is written from the perspective of a fictional first-person narrator, sharing the experience of his divorce and what he did to get through it. As I previously stated, some parts of it are extremely comical (in a dark-humor-type sense) while others are extremely sad such as your wife giving you the news that she's abandoning your 7-year marriage for a guy named Brad, who has been fulfilling her sexual desires for the past few months.

Women would probably enjoy reading this book less, since it is more focused on the perspective of the man's, and what the "man" can do to get through it, but that is just a speculation. Everyone's interests are different, so really its up to the individual.

Overall, I would recommend this book. It is enjoyable, relatable, and quite an easy read; and if you're a dark-comedy lover, you'll love it.

Here is a quote that actually made me laugh out loud:
(For contextual understanding: The recently divorced narrator continues to receive advice from all his undivorced friends, family, and acquaintances, and so makes a list of the common clichés and explains their ignorant meanings in regards to his situation.)

"The Six Great Lies of the Undivorced:
Knee-jerk Advice You Can Ignore with Open Hostility and Disdain"

"5. That which does not kill us makes us stronger. This may sound profound to gloomy teenagers wearing dark clothing and tenured professors of philosophy, but its logic doesn't translate to the real world. More often than not, that which does not kill us just hurts. Usually a lot. If someone throws a rock at the back of your head, and it doesn't kill you, will you really arise stronger? No. More likely, you'll distrust people with rocks, and rightly so."

[Kim Alkemade · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though it is painful to revisit memories of a harsh breakup (we've all had them, right?) the main character in this book pushes through the facade of writing a cheerful advice book and arrives at that most vulnerable human moment: forgiveness. As the tone and ambitions of Mitchell's project shift, a main character who at first seemed disconnected from his heart becomes again his most authentic self through a journey both hilarious and touching.

[ACRL]

Read by ACRL Member of the Week Michelle Reed. Learn more about Michelle on the ACRL Insider Blog.