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Let's Spend the Night Together: Backstage Secrets of Rock Muses and Supergroupies
This intimate account of 24 legendary groupies reveals what went on behind the closed doors of rock stars from Elvis to Marilyn Manson. Consisting of Pamela Des Barres's revealing interviews with and profiles of other supergroupies, this book offers firsthand glimpses into the backstage world of rock stars and the women who loved them. The groupies—such as Miss Japan Beautiful, who taught Elvis how to dance; Cassandra Peterson (Mistress of the Dark), who tangled with Tom Jones in Sin City; Cynthia Plaster Caster, who redefined the art of Jimi Hendrix; and Miss B., who revealed Kurt Cobain’s penchant for lip gloss—tell tales that go well beyond an account of a one-night stand to become a part of music history.
400 pages, Hardcover
First published July 1, 2007
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3196 people want to read
About the author
Pamela Des Barres
11 books356 followersPamela Des Barres aka Miss Pamela (born Pamela Ann Miller on September 9, 1948) is a former rock and roll groupie, author, and magazine writer.
Des Barres was born in Reseda, California. Her mother was a housewife and her father worked for Anheuser-Busch and occasionally worked as a gold miner. She idolized the Beatles and Elvis Presley as a child, and fantasized about meeting and dating her favorite Beatle, Paul McCartney.
A high school acquaintaince introduced Pamela to Don Van Vliet, better known as Captain Beefheart, a musician and friend of Frank Zappa. Vliet in turn introduced her to Charlie Watts and Bill Wyman of the Rolling Stones, which drew her to the rock music scene on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles. She started to spend her time with The Byrds and other bands, and when she graduated from high school in 1966, she took various jobs that would allow her to live near the Sunset Strip and pursue relationships with rock musicians. She famously paired up with Nick St. Nicholas, Mick Jagger, Keith Moon, Jim Morrison, Jimmy Page, Chris Hillman, Noel Redding, Jimi Hendrix, Waylon Jennings, Ray Davies, David Gilmour, Frank Zappa and actor Don Johnson.
She was also a member of The GTOs, an all-girl singing group formed by Zappa. The group started out as the Laurel Canyon Ballet Company, and began performing as an opening act for Zappa and the Mothers of Invention. The group's act was performance art, a mix of music and spoken word, since none of its members could sing or play an instrument. They released an album, Permanent Damage in 1969, backed by Zappa and Jeff Beck. The group dissolved a month after the album's release because some of its members were arrested for drug possession.
In the 1970s Des Barres decided to pursue a career as an actress, and acted in a few movies, including Zappa's 200 Motels, commercials, and a year acting on the soap opera Search For Tomorrow in 1974. After a downturn in her acting career she went to work as a nanny for Zappa's children, Dweezil and Moon Unit.
On October 29, 1977, she married Michael Des Barres who had been lead singer for the first band signed to Led Zeppelin's Swan Song label, Detective, Silverhead and, briefly, for Power Station. They have a son, Nicholas Dean Des Barres, born on September 30, 1978. The couple divorced in the summer of 1991, due to Michael Des Barres' alleged infidelities.
Des Barres wrote two books about her experience as a groupie, I'm With The Band (1987) and Take Another Little Piece of My Heart: A Groupie Grows Up (1993), as well as two non-fiction books, Rock Bottom: Dark Moments in Music Babylon and Let's Spend the Night Together: Backstage Secrets of Rock Muses and Supergroupies (Chicago Review Press, 2007). She currently writes articles for online and print publications. (from Wikipedia)"
Des Barres was born in Reseda, California. Her mother was a housewife and her father worked for Anheuser-Busch and occasionally worked as a gold miner. She idolized the Beatles and Elvis Presley as a child, and fantasized about meeting and dating her favorite Beatle, Paul McCartney.
A high school acquaintaince introduced Pamela to Don Van Vliet, better known as Captain Beefheart, a musician and friend of Frank Zappa. Vliet in turn introduced her to Charlie Watts and Bill Wyman of the Rolling Stones, which drew her to the rock music scene on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles. She started to spend her time with The Byrds and other bands, and when she graduated from high school in 1966, she took various jobs that would allow her to live near the Sunset Strip and pursue relationships with rock musicians. She famously paired up with Nick St. Nicholas, Mick Jagger, Keith Moon, Jim Morrison, Jimmy Page, Chris Hillman, Noel Redding, Jimi Hendrix, Waylon Jennings, Ray Davies, David Gilmour, Frank Zappa and actor Don Johnson.
She was also a member of The GTOs, an all-girl singing group formed by Zappa. The group started out as the Laurel Canyon Ballet Company, and began performing as an opening act for Zappa and the Mothers of Invention. The group's act was performance art, a mix of music and spoken word, since none of its members could sing or play an instrument. They released an album, Permanent Damage in 1969, backed by Zappa and Jeff Beck. The group dissolved a month after the album's release because some of its members were arrested for drug possession.
In the 1970s Des Barres decided to pursue a career as an actress, and acted in a few movies, including Zappa's 200 Motels, commercials, and a year acting on the soap opera Search For Tomorrow in 1974. After a downturn in her acting career she went to work as a nanny for Zappa's children, Dweezil and Moon Unit.
On October 29, 1977, she married Michael Des Barres who had been lead singer for the first band signed to Led Zeppelin's Swan Song label, Detective, Silverhead and, briefly, for Power Station. They have a son, Nicholas Dean Des Barres, born on September 30, 1978. The couple divorced in the summer of 1991, due to Michael Des Barres' alleged infidelities.
Des Barres wrote two books about her experience as a groupie, I'm With The Band (1987) and Take Another Little Piece of My Heart: A Groupie Grows Up (1993), as well as two non-fiction books, Rock Bottom: Dark Moments in Music Babylon and Let's Spend the Night Together: Backstage Secrets of Rock Muses and Supergroupies (Chicago Review Press, 2007). She currently writes articles for online and print publications. (from Wikipedia)"
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September 24, 2011
I somewhat understand other reviewers hating on this book. Yes, the rock culture of the '70s and '80s generally viewed women as consumables like drugs or alcohol. But did you not know and expect that going into this book? How can you fault the writer for portraying the culture as honestly as she could? In my opinion, that honesty is far better than some sort of false feminist empowerment. This sort of cavalier sexual attitude is still pervasive now among average twenty-somethings.
This book, I felt, wasn't as much about "groupies" in the transient, one night stand sense. Most of the women interviewed seemed to be musicians' go-to girls in their respective cities, ongoing muses rather than forgettable faces. A hierarchy of groupies does exist, just like one has best friends and acquaintances. So interviews with the women who had closer relationships with musicians provide insight that music lovers like me devour. We all wish we could have been there, hanging out in those hotel rooms or backstage and seeing favorite artists during their downtime. Those small anecdotal stories provide a unique insight into those small personality quirks that make these artists seem more real to the reader.
The women who didn't have as close relationships with one rock god still offered fun stories about a plethora of famous names. Let's face it - these women had realistic expectations about their interactions with rock stars. They weren't expecting anyone to fall in love with them. For anyone who suggests these women pick up a guitar to get closer to music, I rebut that their primary motivation isn't to get closer to 'music' as some abstract whole. It was about sharing some sort of connection with these artists whose music spoke to their soul in some way. As an avid music lover, I understand that feeling. There's no feeling like standing right up front at a show, inches away from someone who poetically articulated what you feel. It's only natural to want to keep that connection going, if you had the opportunity. I argue that these women got as much out of the experience as the musicians did. I'll also add the Des Barres provides a background on each of the women and details what they are doing today, so you'll learn as much about these women as you will about the musicians.
I think it's important to go into this (and any) book with the right mindset. If 'promiscuity' and casual sex bother you and you expect stories written by women to strictly adhere to second wave feminist ideals, you won't enjoy this book. If you want to read personal anecdotes from women who got close to your favorite musicians in order to understand these artists better, then you'll enjoy it. In the words of Cyndi Lauper, girls just want to have fun, so don't expect any sort of moral, behavioral, or political statement.
On a related political note: People who look down upon these women for sharing their stories only contribute to the Madonna-whore atmosphere that lumps women into overarching categories and makes those deemed 'sluts' in some cases become pariahs of their communities. One story covers this and to me, it's saddening that fellow women still fall into the trap of judging other women by their sexual history and choices. This isn't the 1600s. It's time to evolve.
This book, I felt, wasn't as much about "groupies" in the transient, one night stand sense. Most of the women interviewed seemed to be musicians' go-to girls in their respective cities, ongoing muses rather than forgettable faces. A hierarchy of groupies does exist, just like one has best friends and acquaintances. So interviews with the women who had closer relationships with musicians provide insight that music lovers like me devour. We all wish we could have been there, hanging out in those hotel rooms or backstage and seeing favorite artists during their downtime. Those small anecdotal stories provide a unique insight into those small personality quirks that make these artists seem more real to the reader.
The women who didn't have as close relationships with one rock god still offered fun stories about a plethora of famous names. Let's face it - these women had realistic expectations about their interactions with rock stars. They weren't expecting anyone to fall in love with them. For anyone who suggests these women pick up a guitar to get closer to music, I rebut that their primary motivation isn't to get closer to 'music' as some abstract whole. It was about sharing some sort of connection with these artists whose music spoke to their soul in some way. As an avid music lover, I understand that feeling. There's no feeling like standing right up front at a show, inches away from someone who poetically articulated what you feel. It's only natural to want to keep that connection going, if you had the opportunity. I argue that these women got as much out of the experience as the musicians did. I'll also add the Des Barres provides a background on each of the women and details what they are doing today, so you'll learn as much about these women as you will about the musicians.
I think it's important to go into this (and any) book with the right mindset. If 'promiscuity' and casual sex bother you and you expect stories written by women to strictly adhere to second wave feminist ideals, you won't enjoy this book. If you want to read personal anecdotes from women who got close to your favorite musicians in order to understand these artists better, then you'll enjoy it. In the words of Cyndi Lauper, girls just want to have fun, so don't expect any sort of moral, behavioral, or political statement.
On a related political note: People who look down upon these women for sharing their stories only contribute to the Madonna-whore atmosphere that lumps women into overarching categories and makes those deemed 'sluts' in some cases become pariahs of their communities. One story covers this and to me, it's saddening that fellow women still fall into the trap of judging other women by their sexual history and choices. This isn't the 1600s. It's time to evolve.
January 10, 2012
Self-indulgent book, but that goes hand in hand with recollections of rock groupies. It's sordid, detailing sexual exploits of women sleeping with rock stars and the power they derive from watching bands perform.
The writing was hard to follow. For example, where Des Barres would throw in her own two cents, vs. a groupie's opinions was distracting.
Each chapter is dedicated to her interviewing a groupie. The first few chapters were about older groupies, whom you gather, are in retirement now. Some you wind up having some respect for, (Gail Zappa, Cassandra Petersen and Gayle O'Connor).
However, most of the tales were sad cliches, very young women coming from bad homes or using too many drugs, hoping to find rock star love, or trying too hard to be skinny/sexy/perfect as another reviewer mentioned. And the undertone was weird. Like you're not cool if you just age gracefully.
And I guess I don't get the admiration of rock MUST lead to sex thing. Every time I would hear a woman lament about "the power of the music," I wanted to say, "Learn to play the guitar and write your own music." It strikes me as strange, too, how all these women were OK with being used sexually by men. Not all the women were like that, but many were. And there was too much delusional emphasis being paid to "grouies" being "muses." Patti Boyd as a rock muse? Yes. Most of these? Not so much.
However, if you want dish and gossip, you get plenty of that. Iggy Pop and Tamie Whateverhislastnamewas slept with apparently everyone in California.
Another side note: most of the bands were hair-bands of the 80's. That got boring as did the bar band BS. Why not interview groupies of other kinds of 80's bands, country groupies, hip hop, jazz? Bauhaus, Oingo Boingo, Dead Kennedys, Echo and the Bunnymen, etc., etc., etc.
The writing was hard to follow. For example, where Des Barres would throw in her own two cents, vs. a groupie's opinions was distracting.
Each chapter is dedicated to her interviewing a groupie. The first few chapters were about older groupies, whom you gather, are in retirement now. Some you wind up having some respect for, (Gail Zappa, Cassandra Petersen and Gayle O'Connor).
However, most of the tales were sad cliches, very young women coming from bad homes or using too many drugs, hoping to find rock star love, or trying too hard to be skinny/sexy/perfect as another reviewer mentioned. And the undertone was weird. Like you're not cool if you just age gracefully.
And I guess I don't get the admiration of rock MUST lead to sex thing. Every time I would hear a woman lament about "the power of the music," I wanted to say, "Learn to play the guitar and write your own music." It strikes me as strange, too, how all these women were OK with being used sexually by men. Not all the women were like that, but many were. And there was too much delusional emphasis being paid to "grouies" being "muses." Patti Boyd as a rock muse? Yes. Most of these? Not so much.
However, if you want dish and gossip, you get plenty of that. Iggy Pop and Tamie Whateverhislastnamewas slept with apparently everyone in California.
Another side note: most of the bands were hair-bands of the 80's. That got boring as did the bar band BS. Why not interview groupies of other kinds of 80's bands, country groupies, hip hop, jazz? Bauhaus, Oingo Boingo, Dead Kennedys, Echo and the Bunnymen, etc., etc., etc.
January 11, 2024
More of my fascination with the groupie demimonde. There is a great sociological study yet to be written about these women and the curious role they played within the phenomenon of rock n roll, but this isn't it. I hope researchers are out there getting the story before this group escapes the bonds of earth and breath.
Short chapters of Let's Spend the Night Together: Backstage Secrets of Rock Muses and Supergroupies allow a different groupie to give her list and mention a few of the things that he said. Violence is sometimes alluded to, but details are never actually divulged. Threats of legal action still on the table hamper any sort of open dialogue.
There are plenty of good books about Sapphic Paris, Pre-Raphaelite coteries, et cetera, and the Rock n Roll Groupie is deserving of similar serious treatment. Liberated by the Pill, part of a scattershot brothel, artists in their own right, self-abasing victims, girls having fun, girls on the make, part of the scene, part of the energy - I'd like to see the definition they, in reflection, give to themselves, but feel that serious study and situating within a larger cultural history is also, their due.
Short chapters of Let's Spend the Night Together: Backstage Secrets of Rock Muses and Supergroupies allow a different groupie to give her list and mention a few of the things that he said. Violence is sometimes alluded to, but details are never actually divulged. Threats of legal action still on the table hamper any sort of open dialogue.
There are plenty of good books about Sapphic Paris, Pre-Raphaelite coteries, et cetera, and the Rock n Roll Groupie is deserving of similar serious treatment. Liberated by the Pill, part of a scattershot brothel, artists in their own right, self-abasing victims, girls having fun, girls on the make, part of the scene, part of the energy - I'd like to see the definition they, in reflection, give to themselves, but feel that serious study and situating within a larger cultural history is also, their due.
April 10, 2022
"Let's Spend the Night Together" by Pamela Des Barres is a foul collection of tales. At one time it was respectable to NOT kiss and tell. Imagine gaining your 15 minutes of infamy for having been a receptacle to a rock star. Some of the women in this book have made a career and a bankroll from telling and retelling their dubious claims. Got their photo taken with a musician at a public event, the photo that goes viral is cropped to remove others in the background, other photos from the same event with the musician posing with different fans aren’t publicized, and presto a myth is born! A little internet research on some of these women show their stories change over time or are simply untrue. But the public wishes to believe the scandal because it is much more titillating.
September 7, 2008
I went to Barnes n Noble today. Nothing special. I just wanted to go visit the plaza. It wasn't until I was inside that I remembered some things and decided to take my queries to the sales associate. I asked if they had any current issues of Hustler or if they had any books based on 'Gladiator'. No go, BUT I did find the soundtracks. When the US economy gets its mojo back and the dollar can stretch I will add it to my collection. I know that it's the age of digital downloading but I actually like owning a copy of a book. That's one of the reasons why I don't like reading full comics online. I would rather own the set piece so that I can touch and savor it rather than wait for it to kill kilobytes.
Anywho, the main point of this entry was because I wanted to take out my frustrations a bit. I was looking at Nikki Sixx's book, The Heroin Diaries before I noticed a copy of Pam de Barres latest book, Let's Spend The Night Together. The premise is simple: it is a followup to her 1987 mega best seller I'm With The Band: Confessions of a Groupie. It recounts the the tales of other women and their hookups with the musical apples of their eyes including but limited to: Frank Zappa, Elvis Presley, Keith Moon, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards etc. Okay, fine. Who doesn't like the occassional juicy tale? Who has not been involved is gossip? Those are two separate things. Hey, it's great that you got the drummer to notice you but that was nearly forty years ago! Why are you still riding their coattails? Just because you gave your favorite musician the best orgasm does not make thee a muse! Why must you add meaning to a relatively private exchange and why do you validate your self worth when you were nothing but a dumpster for his bodily fluids? Honestly, if he was that into you, why would he only care about you if he only wanted you to carry his drugs or give him a blowjob? That's like celebrating the fact that you were nothing but kleenex. People can do what they want with their bodies but that does not make them 'artists'. If I was a rock star wife, I wouldn't take it personally if hubby wanted to spend the night with a female fan. Every hotel needs a toilet. Just remember to put the protective layer above the pot. Pam seemed very obsessed with trying to make groupiedom a complex art when it just involves a little makeup, a short skirt and a lack of a logical brain. It's like training a dog. You just follow the pattern and then it's all competition with other groupies. It really felt like a romanticized competition. Hon, if you are such an artist, why does he go to other museums in different cities? I want to be your LA girl, are you shitting me? What really set me off and what made this post possible was that I saw one bit pertaining to my Paulie. Nu uh. I am not having it. Why do people take these harpies seriously when all they are doing is using established musicians to bolster their own fame?
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 20, 2007
This is my first Goodreads review! I felt compelled to review this book to warn people who may be interested. Pamela Des Barres is a really cool woman, she did what she wanted to do and is proud of that fact. Some of the women in "Let's Spend the Night Together" are also doing what they want to do and are able to hold on to their self respect in the process. However, a good many of the women Des Barres interviewed for this book are just sad, self-loathing and promiscuous. I think anyone who debases herself with roadies is not a groupie. This book made me very sad. There is none of the giddy vivaciousness and love for life and music that made Des Barres' first book such fun. Plus, opening the book and seeing a photo of a musician I know and hearing about his groupie tryst after having witnessed such behavior on his part on more than one occasion was a little distressing. He has no respect for these girls. I'm sure most musicians don't. So sad.
December 30, 2010
Another dishy, over-the-top book from proud groupie Des Barres, this time collecting the stories and conquests of other band fans, as well as her own. In one spicy chapter after another, backstage passes our secured, hearts are broken, and everybody sleeps with Iggy Pop.
I learned that groupies overwhelmingly tended to be music-loving outcasts with low self-esteem before finally finding their calling following musicians. They stress that they are not hookers, and that sleeping with rock stars is only one component of their overall devotion to music.
This book also contained some of the best laugh-out-loud passages I'd read in a long time. My favorite:
I'd moved to L.A. to live with Yngwie [Malmsteen] and thought I'd found my true love. But five months later he dumped me. I halfheartedly considered suicide, then remembered Van Halen was on tour.
And here's what another groupie has to say about the lead singer of INXS:
Ever since I first laid eyes on him in episode one, I wanted to give him a BJ, and now it was happening!
Not for the easily offended (obviously).
I learned that groupies overwhelmingly tended to be music-loving outcasts with low self-esteem before finally finding their calling following musicians. They stress that they are not hookers, and that sleeping with rock stars is only one component of their overall devotion to music.
This book also contained some of the best laugh-out-loud passages I'd read in a long time. My favorite:
I'd moved to L.A. to live with Yngwie [Malmsteen] and thought I'd found my true love. But five months later he dumped me. I halfheartedly considered suicide, then remembered Van Halen was on tour.
And here's what another groupie has to say about the lead singer of INXS:
Ever since I first laid eyes on him in episode one, I wanted to give him a BJ, and now it was happening!
Not for the easily offended (obviously).
August 20, 2012
I've now read all of Des Barres' memoirs, collections, or what have you, and this is the weakest by far. Here you will find recollections both touching and pathetic -- and sometimes quite forlornly graphic -- from super groupies and muses. I would question how relevant many of these subjects really are, but Des Barres mixes the well known muses -- Catherine James, Miss Mercy -- with tawdry, trashy girls who hook up with bands you've never heard of, just for the thrill of proximity.
I read Des Barres' first two memoirs because they capture a time in music and popular history that is most interesting to me. Her personal stories have an endearingly honest quality, revealing ugliness as much as glamour, and she is really a true hippie relic, with positivity and joy to spare, despite the pitfalls she encounters. I would definitely recommend both I'm With the Band -- her first and widely known 1960s love letter -- and Take Another Little Piece of My Heart, which covers her forays into the 1970s groupie scene, her marriage and breakup with Michael Des Barres, and her own struggles as a mother. But unless you like hardcore stories about sexual interludes between sad, wannabe people, I would skip this one altogether.
I read Des Barres' first two memoirs because they capture a time in music and popular history that is most interesting to me. Her personal stories have an endearingly honest quality, revealing ugliness as much as glamour, and she is really a true hippie relic, with positivity and joy to spare, despite the pitfalls she encounters. I would definitely recommend both I'm With the Band -- her first and widely known 1960s love letter -- and Take Another Little Piece of My Heart, which covers her forays into the 1970s groupie scene, her marriage and breakup with Michael Des Barres, and her own struggles as a mother. But unless you like hardcore stories about sexual interludes between sad, wannabe people, I would skip this one altogether.
February 18, 2009
I don't know. Maybe I'm not all that interested in tell-all books. Maybe this just wasn't salacious enough for dirty ol' me. But these interviews with groupies young and old just sounded an awful lot like two car salesmen in their 40's reminiscing about the perfect golden football season they lived in high school.
"And then I scored the winning touchdown and the crowd roared and the team screamed our victory to the skies and then Jesus looked down from on high and gave me a big ol' thumbs-up and then my cheerleader ran up to me and we kissed forever. Wanna do Burger King for lunch?"
The older ladies tended to wax philosophic about their blowjob distribution. Okay, whatever. Maybe showing pink to the boys in Zeppelin really was a life-affirming spiritual and emotional experience. But the younger gals just appeared to be burned-out emotional wrecks whose childhoods were so horrific that their only escape was to imagine that Axl Rose or Kid Rock would someday pluck them from the audience and be their penis daddy.
I personally know some would-be musicians who would love these accounts, but because I don't wanna watch them wipe the drool off of their descriptions of the "best parts" of the book, I won't be recommending this book to them.
"And then I scored the winning touchdown and the crowd roared and the team screamed our victory to the skies and then Jesus looked down from on high and gave me a big ol' thumbs-up and then my cheerleader ran up to me and we kissed forever. Wanna do Burger King for lunch?"
The older ladies tended to wax philosophic about their blowjob distribution. Okay, whatever. Maybe showing pink to the boys in Zeppelin really was a life-affirming spiritual and emotional experience. But the younger gals just appeared to be burned-out emotional wrecks whose childhoods were so horrific that their only escape was to imagine that Axl Rose or Kid Rock would someday pluck them from the audience and be their penis daddy.
I personally know some would-be musicians who would love these accounts, but because I don't wanna watch them wipe the drool off of their descriptions of the "best parts" of the book, I won't be recommending this book to them.
March 27, 2008
Having previously published her own experiences as a glamorous, gracious companion to rock stars, Pamela Des Barres is the perfect author for this collection of interviews with groupies. A number of the subjects have led full, fascinating lives (Gail Zappa was my favorite). However, despite their protests to the contrary, most of the people in this book are stereotypical groupies. They get an ego boost, and a sense of personal validation from being a "chosen one," even if they're only "chosen" for a quickie in a bathroom.
Miss Pamela's bubbly, albeit trite writing style was the only thing that kept me going to the end. I couldn't give this book more than two stars, because I found it so overwhelmingly sad and lonely. These women see themselves as high priestesses in service of the music, but mostly they resemble human sacrifices--willingly offering their bodies, and hearts to rocker appetites. At best, no one regretted sleeping with rock stars (they had other regrets, but not regarding groupie sex). Sill, very few have found lasting love anywhere else in their lives.
Miss Pamela's bubbly, albeit trite writing style was the only thing that kept me going to the end. I couldn't give this book more than two stars, because I found it so overwhelmingly sad and lonely. These women see themselves as high priestesses in service of the music, but mostly they resemble human sacrifices--willingly offering their bodies, and hearts to rocker appetites. At best, no one regretted sleeping with rock stars (they had other regrets, but not regarding groupie sex). Sill, very few have found lasting love anywhere else in their lives.
February 9, 2017
I read "I'm With the Band", and I really liked it, mostly because I think Pamela Des Barres is a pretty good writer, and it never seemed like she was out to justify anything. This book, however, just ended up annoying me.
"Let's Spend the Night Together" is a collection of short essays compiled by Des Barres through interviews with numerous groupies. It follows a linear pattern, beginning with Elvis in the 50s and early 60s, through 2007, when it was published. A majority of the groupies interviewed really bugged me. They came across as women who marked their self-worth by the number of famous musicians they slept with (excepting a few, who reminded me of Des Barres).
Overall, the book was okay. Read "I'm With the Band" instead!
"Let's Spend the Night Together" is a collection of short essays compiled by Des Barres through interviews with numerous groupies. It follows a linear pattern, beginning with Elvis in the 50s and early 60s, through 2007, when it was published. A majority of the groupies interviewed really bugged me. They came across as women who marked their self-worth by the number of famous musicians they slept with (excepting a few, who reminded me of Des Barres).
Overall, the book was okay. Read "I'm With the Band" instead!
July 12, 2007
As an afficiando of the rock lit genre and a woman, I found this book a little insulting. The author tries to imply that modern day groupies are a far cry from the angelic, awe insipring goddess she and her crew were back in the day. I hate to break it to her, but just because she broke the ground in the era of free love doesn't mean she's any better than the modern day backstage bunnies she seems to want to insult under the guise of making them seem somehow lost in the shuffle.
Her first book was interesting from a senstional view point. The last two are just fluff.
Her first book was interesting from a senstional view point. The last two are just fluff.
Read
August 3, 2011I think these women give themselves way too much credit.
This book was barely amusing enough to read the whole thing and I almost quit reading it several times. I will say though that some chapters were way better than others. I think the women got more sad as the chapters went on.
This book was barely amusing enough to read the whole thing and I almost quit reading it several times. I will say though that some chapters were way better than others. I think the women got more sad as the chapters went on.
January 29, 2013
I was curious to hear about things from a "groupie" perspective of rock and roll since I am such a huge rock music fan (with SUBZERO desire to sleep around with rock stars I might add). Pamela Des Barres is a well known author of books on the subject since back in the day she was a groupie.
I have to say first off that I didn't love the format of this book. Pamela did interviews of various self proclaimed "groupies" making this book an anthology of stories but rather than allow the ladies to tell their stories in full Pamela felt the need to interject her own voice into each story. Which was REALLY ANNOYING. We don't care Pamela about YOU we are trying to read about each of the various ladies and their experience. I don't give a shit if you were friends with that groupie too and that you guys both gave Mr. Famous so and so BJ's in the floor of a closet and then braided each others hair afterwards. We are reading this anthology to hear each of the stories independently, sheesh!
This sort of narcissistic self-focus truth is what really creates the mold of each and every groupie's story which is that of heartbreaking insecurity. These women have very low self esteem and feel the need to prove something externally. Secretly I think they were emotionally miserable during the whole shebang though they tried to make themselves feel better about being a vagina for rock and roll by basking in the fame of the men. Yikes. Example: a line from a poem groupie Cherry Vanilla wrote: "I'm the happiest broken heart don't you understand...cause now I'm the friend of a rock and roll band"
Was this stuff supposed to be self therapy of some sort? Pretty much all of the women came from broken homes. The excuse they give for promiscuity is their role in being the "muse" of these musical poets which in some cases where sex turned to romance they were. Unfortunately what was really happening overall was a female competition of the first order, that being capturing the attention of a rock star for as long as you could. Most of the time this was met with heartbreak. From page 140: "...she (Michelle) was there to see the Burritos' front man Gram Parsons. They had recently spent a romance-filled four days in New York, and Michelle was taking a chance tonight, hoping for a reunion. Alas, it wasn't to be as Gram had just gotten back with his ladylove Nancy, but Michelle put on a brave, beautiful face and took it in stride". You can be the judge as to if that inspiring notion of muse-female-"power" is what really fills the pages of this book or not. :-)
What I enjoyed was getting to hear the details on those who have the biggest cock in rock and roll (kidding) and the stories of the times and places in days gone by these then-kids hung out at. You can tell by reading the stories that back in the day (most stories are from the 1960s-early to mid 1970s era) popular musicians were much more accessible than they are today (even with *shock* the advent of instant access 'social' media) and the circles that people ran in much smaller than today. It was a simpler time, less population, less bullshit, more access to drugs and less information overload to be smarter and more worldly with. The innocent ignorance of this era is what I enjoyed the most, and to fully absorb that you have to read between the lines and part the waters of fragile ego and false dream chasing these ladies were participating in. Here is where the real stories live.
I have to say first off that I didn't love the format of this book. Pamela did interviews of various self proclaimed "groupies" making this book an anthology of stories but rather than allow the ladies to tell their stories in full Pamela felt the need to interject her own voice into each story. Which was REALLY ANNOYING. We don't care Pamela about YOU we are trying to read about each of the various ladies and their experience. I don't give a shit if you were friends with that groupie too and that you guys both gave Mr. Famous so and so BJ's in the floor of a closet and then braided each others hair afterwards. We are reading this anthology to hear each of the stories independently, sheesh!
This sort of narcissistic self-focus truth is what really creates the mold of each and every groupie's story which is that of heartbreaking insecurity. These women have very low self esteem and feel the need to prove something externally. Secretly I think they were emotionally miserable during the whole shebang though they tried to make themselves feel better about being a vagina for rock and roll by basking in the fame of the men. Yikes. Example: a line from a poem groupie Cherry Vanilla wrote: "I'm the happiest broken heart don't you understand...cause now I'm the friend of a rock and roll band"
Was this stuff supposed to be self therapy of some sort? Pretty much all of the women came from broken homes. The excuse they give for promiscuity is their role in being the "muse" of these musical poets which in some cases where sex turned to romance they were. Unfortunately what was really happening overall was a female competition of the first order, that being capturing the attention of a rock star for as long as you could. Most of the time this was met with heartbreak. From page 140: "...she (Michelle) was there to see the Burritos' front man Gram Parsons. They had recently spent a romance-filled four days in New York, and Michelle was taking a chance tonight, hoping for a reunion. Alas, it wasn't to be as Gram had just gotten back with his ladylove Nancy, but Michelle put on a brave, beautiful face and took it in stride". You can be the judge as to if that inspiring notion of muse-female-"power" is what really fills the pages of this book or not. :-)
What I enjoyed was getting to hear the details on those who have the biggest cock in rock and roll (kidding) and the stories of the times and places in days gone by these then-kids hung out at. You can tell by reading the stories that back in the day (most stories are from the 1960s-early to mid 1970s era) popular musicians were much more accessible than they are today (even with *shock* the advent of instant access 'social' media) and the circles that people ran in much smaller than today. It was a simpler time, less population, less bullshit, more access to drugs and less information overload to be smarter and more worldly with. The innocent ignorance of this era is what I enjoyed the most, and to fully absorb that you have to read between the lines and part the waters of fragile ego and false dream chasing these ladies were participating in. Here is where the real stories live.
May 23, 2012
I felt sad for some of the women in this book, they convinced themselves that they were muses and meant something on an artistic level to the rockstars but to me it just sounds like they were being used by men who despite the great music, they were grade A tools.
I'm all for women and men being able to have as much safe sex as they want but don't dress it up with delusions.
I'm all for women and men being able to have as much safe sex as they want but don't dress it up with delusions.
January 13, 2025
Disclaimer: this low-rated review is NOT because Miss Pamela ~fucked Mick Jagger~. (She repeatedly states that anyone who shades her in the slightest does so only because they envy her for sleeping with that pufferfish-lipped salamander.) Now, if she'd bagged 4/5 of Duran Duran, then she'd have reason to question the rating lol.
Read
July 15, 2010Lindsey’s headed back to rehab. Paris is lying low. Nicole’s being good for the time being. What to do for celebrity sleaze?
Among the classics of the genre, I’d recommend Hollywood Babylon and its sequel, of course, and Pamela Des Barres groupie tell-all, I’m With the Band. Ms Des Barres has made a career of having slept with Jimmy Page, Keith Moon, Gram Parsons and many, many others all those years ago, and has now released a book of interviews with 24 other groupies.
What’s here besides sex, drugs, and rock & roll? Copious amounts of name dropping, of course, tho you may not have heard of the names. Considerable self-delusion, too. Self-esteem issues. Absent fathers loom large.
Des Barres writes cheerfully, with lots of alliteration and euphemism. If this were in longhand, it would be in sparkly pink ink, every "i" dotted with a heart. She argues persistently, tho not very convincingly, that being a groupie is actually a higher calling, more a muse than a floozie. Be warned, tho, that many of her interviewees are considerably more blunt.
Nobody brings the sleaze like Miss Pamela. --John
From ICPL Staff Picks Blog
Among the classics of the genre, I’d recommend Hollywood Babylon and its sequel, of course, and Pamela Des Barres groupie tell-all, I’m With the Band. Ms Des Barres has made a career of having slept with Jimmy Page, Keith Moon, Gram Parsons and many, many others all those years ago, and has now released a book of interviews with 24 other groupies.
What’s here besides sex, drugs, and rock & roll? Copious amounts of name dropping, of course, tho you may not have heard of the names. Considerable self-delusion, too. Self-esteem issues. Absent fathers loom large.
Des Barres writes cheerfully, with lots of alliteration and euphemism. If this were in longhand, it would be in sparkly pink ink, every "i" dotted with a heart. She argues persistently, tho not very convincingly, that being a groupie is actually a higher calling, more a muse than a floozie. Be warned, tho, that many of her interviewees are considerably more blunt.
Nobody brings the sleaze like Miss Pamela. --John
From ICPL Staff Picks Blog
August 9, 2011
Disappointing. Interesting to get some idea of what groupeism actually means to the ones who call themselves real groupies as to opposed to just 'star fuckers'. They say it's all about the music. But half of them I think, nah, you're just some girl who has nothing else in her life and gets self-validation from giving random rock stars I've never heard of blow jobs. Or else, er, don't you think maybe the drink and drugs are playing a part in making you think you're having a profound psychic and spiritual connection with Marilyn Manson? Highlight was finding a mention of my old Psychology teacher, Pauline, in here - she was once Frank Zappa's secretary.
March 27, 2018
trashy and perfect
November 18, 2022
Backstage secrets? There are no backstage secrets after you read this book! While Miss Pamela is fairly discrete when describing her trysts, many of the subjects that she interviews graphically describe their days and nights in bed, busses and bathroom stalls with rock and rolls most elite practitioners.
Why did I read this book? For a few reasons. First, I had heard praise for Des Barres' first book, "I'm With The Band'. Second, I'm a fan of the Cameron Crowe film "Almost Famous" and wanted to learn more about the supergroupie culture. Third, and similarly, I've been to enough concerts to see the groupies roaming around the arena and have always been curious about who they were and how they lived. I'll never forget going to a Queen concert circa 1977, standing near the stage entrance, and seeing a woman who looked EXACTLY like Freddie Mercury. Bad haircut, overbite and all. I don't think it was a coincidence that she was standing there.
All that said, Des Barres uses her interviews to paint a deep, well-rounded portrait of the supergroupies, their culture, their triumphs, and their disappointments. As a sociological study, it's not difficult to recognize the commonalities between each interviewed subject. Aside from their deep love for music and musicians, most (but not all) of them have a desire to break free from their families or kids from their schools so they can bond with rock stars. Being accepted by the stars makes them feel unique and special; it validates them. Nearly all of them will accept the rejection and heartbreak that comes with the relationships over any other kind of more placid lifestyle.
The graphic nature of this book, which includes what many consider debauchery and decadence, may not be for everyone. You'll definitely recognize the names that are named (Elvis, Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, Jimi Hendrix, and many others); some of your illusions about your favorite rock stars may even get shattered. Don't say you weren't warned!
Why did I read this book? For a few reasons. First, I had heard praise for Des Barres' first book, "I'm With The Band'. Second, I'm a fan of the Cameron Crowe film "Almost Famous" and wanted to learn more about the supergroupie culture. Third, and similarly, I've been to enough concerts to see the groupies roaming around the arena and have always been curious about who they were and how they lived. I'll never forget going to a Queen concert circa 1977, standing near the stage entrance, and seeing a woman who looked EXACTLY like Freddie Mercury. Bad haircut, overbite and all. I don't think it was a coincidence that she was standing there.
All that said, Des Barres uses her interviews to paint a deep, well-rounded portrait of the supergroupies, their culture, their triumphs, and their disappointments. As a sociological study, it's not difficult to recognize the commonalities between each interviewed subject. Aside from their deep love for music and musicians, most (but not all) of them have a desire to break free from their families or kids from their schools so they can bond with rock stars. Being accepted by the stars makes them feel unique and special; it validates them. Nearly all of them will accept the rejection and heartbreak that comes with the relationships over any other kind of more placid lifestyle.
The graphic nature of this book, which includes what many consider debauchery and decadence, may not be for everyone. You'll definitely recognize the names that are named (Elvis, Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, Jimi Hendrix, and many others); some of your illusions about your favorite rock stars may even get shattered. Don't say you weren't warned!
March 24, 2014
This book bounces me from laughing at her silly, Pollyanna-type attitude to irritated at her lack of an understanding at what she was actually doing to being both impressed, revolted by, slightly envious and annoyed by her entire way of life.
I was born in the mid-70s so my rock gods were the hair bands of the 80s to the grunge of the early 90s. Her Jimmie Page was my Jon Bon Jovi. Her Elvis was my Kurt Cobain. The difference was that I was somewhere in the crowd at the concert and she was blowing the bassist from some weirdly named 70s psychedelic band that nobody has ever heard of. She seemed to make all the worst choices for herself and spends an enormous amount of ink trying to say that GROUPIES isn't synonymous with SLUTS. Of course we all know that a groupie is the hanger-on of what may or may not be a talented artist. Mick Jagger would be the ugliest SOB you ever saw if he didn't strut his scrawny body to some monster hits. If they weren't about having sex with them then why did she have so much sex with them? She names at least 2 dozen men by name that she had relations with and I am definitely trying to not be one of those hypocrites that high 5s the men for banging all the hot chicks and wags a finger at a girl for not remaining virginal. It isn't second nature to me yet but I am working on that. Maybe if I had Cobain or Bon Jovi in the sack then it'd be a story to tell over and over again but, alas, I'm just happily married for a couple of decades and have a wonderful sex life that nobody wants to read about. I'm an IT groupie! :)
Between declarations of freedom and choosing to be close (interwoven?) with the musicians, she says she didn't want more than just to be near them YET she clearly relishes all of the opportunities that came her way to become a girlfriend or at least a regular on the roster. Miss Pam brandishes her feminine wiles in the name of sexual freedom and seems to subconsciously use those wiles to "snag her a man". It comes across more like an embittered woman who declares that being ignored or dumped was only in reaction to HER not wanting HIM.
I think one book would've been sufficient to rat out her "friends" that she had sooooo much respect for as artists but she not only wrote several tell-alls, she recruited other groupies to do the same and STILL has a web site that lets other women tag along as she reminisces (is there anything left to tell, one wonders?) and retraces her steps to the old haunts.
While juicy at times, the book as a whole comes across as a semi-desperate attempt to cling to the bit of glory they left her with, like Monica touring with the blue dress for a few decades. It seems to lack class entirely when she says these were her friends and yet outs them in detail with the size of their members and the fetishes they had. If she loved Billy Idol, do we need to know that he likes things shoved in his butt? I wouldn't tell those stories at dinner never mind the whole world. She also goes into GREAT DETAIL about how wonderful Frank Zappa was (admit it, we know him mostly for his oddly named kids) and how the GTOs were going to revolutionize music with girl power! There's no hope of that happening, we can all see that, and she seems to be a a little sore that the band never took off because that, THAT glorious, Frank-produced team of no-talents actually making it big but she was convinced that this was where her star was supposed to shine. Even the name (it wavers between Girls Living Outrageously to several other iterations of GTO, all of which are the wonderful Frank-inspired way to show their lack of being beholden to even a name!).
She wound up marrying a guy that it seems underperformed for her expectations. She wanted Tommy Lee and got his roadie. Or his roadie's assistant. You really get the feeling he was doomed from the point where his career stalled. To his benefit, he knew her history and loved her still. How many times can you be compared to Don Johnson or Waylon Jennings(?)?
Like I said, this made me run the gamut of emotions and not in the awesome-fiction way. I find her "in the moment" storytelling to be interesting girl talk and her life story to be a sad, female version of the middle age man recalling his college glory days.
I was born in the mid-70s so my rock gods were the hair bands of the 80s to the grunge of the early 90s. Her Jimmie Page was my Jon Bon Jovi. Her Elvis was my Kurt Cobain. The difference was that I was somewhere in the crowd at the concert and she was blowing the bassist from some weirdly named 70s psychedelic band that nobody has ever heard of. She seemed to make all the worst choices for herself and spends an enormous amount of ink trying to say that GROUPIES isn't synonymous with SLUTS. Of course we all know that a groupie is the hanger-on of what may or may not be a talented artist. Mick Jagger would be the ugliest SOB you ever saw if he didn't strut his scrawny body to some monster hits. If they weren't about having sex with them then why did she have so much sex with them? She names at least 2 dozen men by name that she had relations with and I am definitely trying to not be one of those hypocrites that high 5s the men for banging all the hot chicks and wags a finger at a girl for not remaining virginal. It isn't second nature to me yet but I am working on that. Maybe if I had Cobain or Bon Jovi in the sack then it'd be a story to tell over and over again but, alas, I'm just happily married for a couple of decades and have a wonderful sex life that nobody wants to read about. I'm an IT groupie! :)
Between declarations of freedom and choosing to be close (interwoven?) with the musicians, she says she didn't want more than just to be near them YET she clearly relishes all of the opportunities that came her way to become a girlfriend or at least a regular on the roster. Miss Pam brandishes her feminine wiles in the name of sexual freedom and seems to subconsciously use those wiles to "snag her a man". It comes across more like an embittered woman who declares that being ignored or dumped was only in reaction to HER not wanting HIM.
I think one book would've been sufficient to rat out her "friends" that she had sooooo much respect for as artists but she not only wrote several tell-alls, she recruited other groupies to do the same and STILL has a web site that lets other women tag along as she reminisces (is there anything left to tell, one wonders?) and retraces her steps to the old haunts.
While juicy at times, the book as a whole comes across as a semi-desperate attempt to cling to the bit of glory they left her with, like Monica touring with the blue dress for a few decades. It seems to lack class entirely when she says these were her friends and yet outs them in detail with the size of their members and the fetishes they had. If she loved Billy Idol, do we need to know that he likes things shoved in his butt? I wouldn't tell those stories at dinner never mind the whole world. She also goes into GREAT DETAIL about how wonderful Frank Zappa was (admit it, we know him mostly for his oddly named kids) and how the GTOs were going to revolutionize music with girl power! There's no hope of that happening, we can all see that, and she seems to be a a little sore that the band never took off because that, THAT glorious, Frank-produced team of no-talents actually making it big but she was convinced that this was where her star was supposed to shine. Even the name (it wavers between Girls Living Outrageously to several other iterations of GTO, all of which are the wonderful Frank-inspired way to show their lack of being beholden to even a name!).
She wound up marrying a guy that it seems underperformed for her expectations. She wanted Tommy Lee and got his roadie. Or his roadie's assistant. You really get the feeling he was doomed from the point where his career stalled. To his benefit, he knew her history and loved her still. How many times can you be compared to Don Johnson or Waylon Jennings(?)?
Like I said, this made me run the gamut of emotions and not in the awesome-fiction way. I find her "in the moment" storytelling to be interesting girl talk and her life story to be a sad, female version of the middle age man recalling his college glory days.
July 26, 2011
Pamela Des Barresin "Kuumana bändiin: bändärin tunnustukset" -omaelämäkerta lienee tunnetuin groupie-kulttuuria käsittelevä teos. Se ilmestyi myös pari vuotta sitten suomeksi, mutten kuolemaksenikaan onnistunut lukemaan sitä loppuun: ylisanoja vilisevä kirjoitustyyli toi mieleen pissisvaiheeseen jumittuneen Rita Tainolan, enkä ollut lainkaan vakuuttunut siitä, että Jimmy Pagen kanssa sänkyyn meneminen olisi ollut kulttuurihistoriallisesti merkittävä teko.
"Let's Spend the Night Together: bändäreitä ja takahuoneiden muusia" (Johnny Kniga, 2009) -kirjassa Des Barres antaa äänen parillekymmenelle kollegalleen (joista yksi on mies), joista tunnetuimpie lienevät kulttiohjaaja Russ Meyerin elokuvissa esiintynyt Tura Satana, rocktähtien sukukalleuksia kipsiin valanut Cynthia Plaster Caster, Liv Tylerin äiti Bebe Buell ja Frankin rinnalla niin myötä- kuin vastamäessäkin seisonut Gail Zappa. Haastateltujen "ura" ajoittuu 1950-luvulta 1990-luvulle, joten sivutuiksi tulevat niin Elvis Presley, Robert Plant, Gene Simmons kuin Marilyn Mansonkin. Ohjaaja Cameron Crowekin antaa pienen haastattelun "Melkein julkkis" -elokuvansa tiimoilta.
Suurin osa kirjaa kirjan bändäreistä pyrkii elättelemään samaa kuvaa kuin haastattelijansakin. Groupiet ovat itsenäisiä, elämästä nauttivia ja älykkäitä naisia, joita eivät turhat seksuaaliset estot vaivaa ja joihin ulkopuolisten on turha suhtautua pelkkinä petinlämmikkeinä. Feminismiäkin sotketaan jossakin vaiheessa keitokseen. Jotkut haastateltavat onnistuvat tehtävässään paremmin, jotkut huonommin ja kaikista johannatukiaisin osa antaa tahtomattaan itsestään jotenkin säälittävän kuvan.
"Let's Spend the Night Togetherin" kirjalliset arvot ovat aika vähäiset: haastateltavat kertovat hyvin samanlaisia anekdootteja, ja jossakin vaiheessa lukeminen muuttuu itseään toistavaksi ja hieman puuduttavaksi. Kovin ihmeellisiä paljastuksia musiikkimaailmasta on myöskään turha odottaa, ellei sitten satu olemaan kiinnostunut siitä millaista varustusta Marilyn Manson kantaa mukanaan (pientä, kuulemma). Jonkinlainen ajankuva välittyy kuitenkin parhaiden haastateltavien jutuista.
Des Barresin kirja nostattaa kuitenkin ilmaan mielenkiintoisia kysymyksiä, joihin ei tosin saada tyhjentäviä vastauksia. Onko keskiverto bändäri lähempänä voimakasta feministihahmoa vai naiivia hyväksikäytettyä? Miksi niin harva mies ryhtyy bändäriksi? Onko kyse tosiaan musiikista vai jostakin muusta?
Ja mikä ihme niissä rocktähdissä oikein viehättää?
"Let's Spend the Night Together: bändäreitä ja takahuoneiden muusia" (Johnny Kniga, 2009) -kirjassa Des Barres antaa äänen parillekymmenelle kollegalleen (joista yksi on mies), joista tunnetuimpie lienevät kulttiohjaaja Russ Meyerin elokuvissa esiintynyt Tura Satana, rocktähtien sukukalleuksia kipsiin valanut Cynthia Plaster Caster, Liv Tylerin äiti Bebe Buell ja Frankin rinnalla niin myötä- kuin vastamäessäkin seisonut Gail Zappa. Haastateltujen "ura" ajoittuu 1950-luvulta 1990-luvulle, joten sivutuiksi tulevat niin Elvis Presley, Robert Plant, Gene Simmons kuin Marilyn Mansonkin. Ohjaaja Cameron Crowekin antaa pienen haastattelun "Melkein julkkis" -elokuvansa tiimoilta.
Suurin osa kirjaa kirjan bändäreistä pyrkii elättelemään samaa kuvaa kuin haastattelijansakin. Groupiet ovat itsenäisiä, elämästä nauttivia ja älykkäitä naisia, joita eivät turhat seksuaaliset estot vaivaa ja joihin ulkopuolisten on turha suhtautua pelkkinä petinlämmikkeinä. Feminismiäkin sotketaan jossakin vaiheessa keitokseen. Jotkut haastateltavat onnistuvat tehtävässään paremmin, jotkut huonommin ja kaikista johannatukiaisin osa antaa tahtomattaan itsestään jotenkin säälittävän kuvan.
"Let's Spend the Night Togetherin" kirjalliset arvot ovat aika vähäiset: haastateltavat kertovat hyvin samanlaisia anekdootteja, ja jossakin vaiheessa lukeminen muuttuu itseään toistavaksi ja hieman puuduttavaksi. Kovin ihmeellisiä paljastuksia musiikkimaailmasta on myöskään turha odottaa, ellei sitten satu olemaan kiinnostunut siitä millaista varustusta Marilyn Manson kantaa mukanaan (pientä, kuulemma). Jonkinlainen ajankuva välittyy kuitenkin parhaiden haastateltavien jutuista.
Des Barresin kirja nostattaa kuitenkin ilmaan mielenkiintoisia kysymyksiä, joihin ei tosin saada tyhjentäviä vastauksia. Onko keskiverto bändäri lähempänä voimakasta feministihahmoa vai naiivia hyväksikäytettyä? Miksi niin harva mies ryhtyy bändäriksi? Onko kyse tosiaan musiikista vai jostakin muusta?
Ja mikä ihme niissä rocktähdissä oikein viehättää?
July 18, 2021
A fun waste of time. Wish I read one of my library books instead of finishing this. Started reading this when I was 15 and got really into like "groupie culture" whatever that fucking means. Stopped during the chapter where gayle o'connor talks about sleeping with Pete Townshend cause it grossed me out. Finished it nearly 2 years later cause i wanted to read about Pleasant Gehman. It's a really good book if you want to learn about which of your favorite old musicians are pedophiles and/or attempted rapists. I don't like Pamela Des Barres. I think she's the epitome of the out-of-touch hot california white girl who thinks that everyone gets treated like her and that people not being super nice and peace-and-love to her are automatically terrible and nasty. I think she lived a very fun but very shallow life. I think her beef with baby groupies like Sable Starr and Lori Maddox was really really weird. Imagine being 20-something and mad at an exploited teen for....acting like a teenager and being exploited (by your ex no less). I don't like her writing much either but it's not terrible, it does the job. It's fun to live vicariously through these stories but there's a very depressing comedown when I realize that Im like frankenstein's monster but a girl and that i'll never be able to have that life and those experiences. This book really puts my self-hatred and self-respect at odds with each other. They have to battle it out like a little beyblade battle in my mind or something. Regardless of that though, I love groupie stories. I love knowing people's business. Iggy Pop fucked more people than the 2008 Recession.
April 28, 2022
Most of the critiques of this book come from the same culture that treated women as consumables as groupies. Somehow when women talk about their sexuality most people love to take them down.
The groupie culture of the 60s onwards is extremely problematic and happened in a world were the #metoo context hadn't even been looked at, where male privilege was standard and therefore girls tried to better their position by proximity to these men. All the critiques they get should be redirected to the culture of the time but misoginy is very well entrenched in culture even today.
It's sweet to see how, with that context being all they knew, the stories are told in an almost dreamt way: getting close to a musician is getting close to a higher level of consciousness, it's a world where stages are altars, it's just unfortunate these girls didn't have an alternative to believe that they had to immolate themselves on it.
I think in the wake of #metoo Lori Maddox / Mattix (historical groupie who claima to have lost her virginity to David and Angie Bowie) was asked how she felt about the past in this new light and it was interesting to see her reconsider and maybe not want the same for her daughters.
I think this shows how crucial time and context were and most importantly why in situation we read through a new context it's important not to let our misoginy run rampant and take it against the women once again instead of the system they had to move within.
The groupie culture of the 60s onwards is extremely problematic and happened in a world were the #metoo context hadn't even been looked at, where male privilege was standard and therefore girls tried to better their position by proximity to these men. All the critiques they get should be redirected to the culture of the time but misoginy is very well entrenched in culture even today.
It's sweet to see how, with that context being all they knew, the stories are told in an almost dreamt way: getting close to a musician is getting close to a higher level of consciousness, it's a world where stages are altars, it's just unfortunate these girls didn't have an alternative to believe that they had to immolate themselves on it.
I think in the wake of #metoo Lori Maddox / Mattix (historical groupie who claima to have lost her virginity to David and Angie Bowie) was asked how she felt about the past in this new light and it was interesting to see her reconsider and maybe not want the same for her daughters.
I think this shows how crucial time and context were and most importantly why in situation we read through a new context it's important not to let our misoginy run rampant and take it against the women once again instead of the system they had to move within.
December 5, 2020
There are those who attend to see the band and those who want to see the music. These girls and a guy want to feel it.
Okay, I can see how the title of this book and the general theme might seem naughty. I’m sure there are more than a few naughty moments. They’re described in the book! But this book isn’t all scandal and naughty. I promise. This is the collection of stories of people who didn’t just follow the band because they liked the music or they wanted to bed a star. These are the ones who wanted to help make the band who they ended up being.
I can see where this might be seen as a smoothed-over way to describe these people. They’re groupies, so they must want to do everything with the star. I’m sure they do, but each story proves there is more to the story than just getting down with it. There are people who genuinely love the music and want the band to be their best. They want the band at ease.
And there might have been plaster involved.
Shrugs.
It’s still a fun read and good for an afternoon when it’s chilly outside. Give this one a shot. I recommend it.
Okay, I can see how the title of this book and the general theme might seem naughty. I’m sure there are more than a few naughty moments. They’re described in the book! But this book isn’t all scandal and naughty. I promise. This is the collection of stories of people who didn’t just follow the band because they liked the music or they wanted to bed a star. These are the ones who wanted to help make the band who they ended up being.
I can see where this might be seen as a smoothed-over way to describe these people. They’re groupies, so they must want to do everything with the star. I’m sure they do, but each story proves there is more to the story than just getting down with it. There are people who genuinely love the music and want the band to be their best. They want the band at ease.
And there might have been plaster involved.
Shrugs.
It’s still a fun read and good for an afternoon when it’s chilly outside. Give this one a shot. I recommend it.
September 18, 2018
Recollections of rock groupies, both sad and mesmerizing. Reading these tales was like a bad reality show, you know you're not getting anything out of it, but you can't look away, you can't turn it off.
Most of the interviews of these women follow the same pattern. They were way too young, came from abusive or neglected households, they were taken advantage of by many people and were fueled by many drugs. Yet, each woman feels empowered and proud of her "accomplishments," a psyche I'm interested in because I just can't wrap my head around this lifestyle.
The writing itself was sometimes confusing because the words of the author, Pamela Des Barres, and the words of the subject speaking were often intermingled. There were also quite a few editing and spelling errors, which given how long this has been in printed, surprised me.
Most of the interviews of these women follow the same pattern. They were way too young, came from abusive or neglected households, they were taken advantage of by many people and were fueled by many drugs. Yet, each woman feels empowered and proud of her "accomplishments," a psyche I'm interested in because I just can't wrap my head around this lifestyle.
The writing itself was sometimes confusing because the words of the author, Pamela Des Barres, and the words of the subject speaking were often intermingled. There were also quite a few editing and spelling errors, which given how long this has been in printed, surprised me.
March 22, 2010
What did I learn? Oh, my!
I learned that Jimmy Page likes to lecture young girls, Jimi Hendrix was a sweet, fun fellow, Tom Jones is a cad, groupies are ancient at 15, if you're really good, they'll put you in a song, it's very extremely important for girls to be skinny, and Elvis is apparently the best conversationalist in the history of Rock and Roll.
This could be utter trash, however, Pamela Des Barres is a deceptively good writer. There's a dismal overtone that rather depressed me, and I think it might be the editor/publisher at fault. What's with that awful cover photo?
I learned that Jimmy Page likes to lecture young girls, Jimi Hendrix was a sweet, fun fellow, Tom Jones is a cad, groupies are ancient at 15, if you're really good, they'll put you in a song, it's very extremely important for girls to be skinny, and Elvis is apparently the best conversationalist in the history of Rock and Roll.
This could be utter trash, however, Pamela Des Barres is a deceptively good writer. There's a dismal overtone that rather depressed me, and I think it might be the editor/publisher at fault. What's with that awful cover photo?
March 20, 2008
I'll give anything with Cynthia Plaster Caster in it a try, but this was so poorly written I couldn't read much more than one chapter.
January 17, 2010
too boring to finish
November 6, 2023
This was way more misogynistic and pick-me-girl than I thought it was going to be
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