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When I Picture You
A big-hearted and sexy queer rom-com celebrating the kind of sweeping romance that inspires our favorite love songs.
Renee Feldman is desperate for a fresh start. She’d hoped to rediscover her creative spark by taking time off from her MFA in documentary film. Instead, she’s stalled. Barista-ing doesn’t chip away at her debt, her thesis project is nonexistent, and if she doesn’t re-enroll next semester, she’ll be out of the program.
Pop star Lola Gray is supposed to be the songwriter of her generation—but she hardly feels like it anymore. It’s been a year since her secret relationship imploded, simultaneously breaking Lola’s heart, annihilating her plan to come out, and plummeting her into writer’s block.
But when Lola sees Renee at her sister’s wedding, all that stress comes to a grinding halt. Lola’s teenage crush on the fearless lesbian next door was so overwhelming, it secretly inspired her debut album. Lola and Renee haven’t crossed paths in a decade, but that night sparks fly.
Renee is still processing the hottest—and most unexpected—one-night stand of her life when Lola surprises her again. Her team is producing a documentary alongside her next album, but the director they hired is a creep. Lola needs Renee to replace him…and filming starts in a week. With her thesis deadline approaching, Renee knows this is her only ticket to graduation.
As Lola and Renee reconnect, there’s no denying the feelings they have for each other or the renewed creativity it inspires. But neither realizes how hard it will be to tell their love story in an industry that sets a narrative of its own.
Renee Feldman is desperate for a fresh start. She’d hoped to rediscover her creative spark by taking time off from her MFA in documentary film. Instead, she’s stalled. Barista-ing doesn’t chip away at her debt, her thesis project is nonexistent, and if she doesn’t re-enroll next semester, she’ll be out of the program.
Pop star Lola Gray is supposed to be the songwriter of her generation—but she hardly feels like it anymore. It’s been a year since her secret relationship imploded, simultaneously breaking Lola’s heart, annihilating her plan to come out, and plummeting her into writer’s block.
But when Lola sees Renee at her sister’s wedding, all that stress comes to a grinding halt. Lola’s teenage crush on the fearless lesbian next door was so overwhelming, it secretly inspired her debut album. Lola and Renee haven’t crossed paths in a decade, but that night sparks fly.
Renee is still processing the hottest—and most unexpected—one-night stand of her life when Lola surprises her again. Her team is producing a documentary alongside her next album, but the director they hired is a creep. Lola needs Renee to replace him…and filming starts in a week. With her thesis deadline approaching, Renee knows this is her only ticket to graduation.
As Lola and Renee reconnect, there’s no denying the feelings they have for each other or the renewed creativity it inspires. But neither realizes how hard it will be to tell their love story in an industry that sets a narrative of its own.
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Published October 28, 2025
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About the author
Sasha Laurens
4 books237 followersSasha Laurens is the author of the adult romance When I Picture You and the young adult novels A Wicked Magic and Youngblood. She spends her time doing research on authoritarianism, training for powerlifting competitions, and hanging out with her mini dachshund, Kiki.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 237 reviews
October 25, 2025
⋆˚࿔ review 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
1⭐️
And I was right… it was torture 😑
There was no romance in this none. Every single time they were together, they were doing that instead of having a real conversation. Like?? You two don’t even know each other?? Please stop pretending you’re in love when you haven’t even made it past small talk.
Lola wasn’t a people pleaser, she was controlling. Not in a villain arc way, but in a “let me lie to you for your own good” kind of way. Wanting to make others happy is fine, sure, but manipulating people in the name of kindness? Be serious. That was their entire issue for the whole book and they never actually sat down to work through it. Just vibes and avoidance.
Renee was also a little too pushy, so together? Disaster.
The characters could have had depth, I see the potential. But instead, they were flat especially in the romance department. Zero development. Zero communication. Just steam and silence. ( not even good steam mind you)
Also… I hate singer main characters. I just do. They’re always corny and unbearable, and this was no exception. I’m 1000% convinced this author is a Gaylor truther, and it was painfully obvious the entire time 💀
Last but not least: that jumpsuit.
It should be burned. At the stake. I’ll bring the matches myself. 🔥
Thanks to NetGalley and HarperAudio adult for the ALC
⋆. 𐙚 ˚ pre read ⋆. 𐙚 ˚
Less than 10% in and they’re already going at it??? Be so serious 😭
I can feel it in my soul… this is going to be actual torture 😔💀
1⭐️
And I was right… it was torture 😑
There was no romance in this none. Every single time they were together, they were doing that instead of having a real conversation. Like?? You two don’t even know each other?? Please stop pretending you’re in love when you haven’t even made it past small talk.
Lola wasn’t a people pleaser, she was controlling. Not in a villain arc way, but in a “let me lie to you for your own good” kind of way. Wanting to make others happy is fine, sure, but manipulating people in the name of kindness? Be serious. That was their entire issue for the whole book and they never actually sat down to work through it. Just vibes and avoidance.
Renee was also a little too pushy, so together? Disaster.
The characters could have had depth, I see the potential. But instead, they were flat especially in the romance department. Zero development. Zero communication. Just steam and silence. ( not even good steam mind you)
Also… I hate singer main characters. I just do. They’re always corny and unbearable, and this was no exception. I’m 1000% convinced this author is a Gaylor truther, and it was painfully obvious the entire time 💀
Last but not least: that jumpsuit.
It should be burned. At the stake. I’ll bring the matches myself. 🔥
Thanks to NetGalley and HarperAudio adult for the ALC
⋆. 𐙚 ˚ pre read ⋆. 𐙚 ˚
Less than 10% in and they’re already going at it??? Be so serious 😭
I can feel it in my soul… this is going to be actual torture 😔💀
December 6, 2025
let’s make her taylor swift but sapphic! 😃 (seriously free me from the shackles of taylor and every other celebrity fanfic in contemporary romances)
thank you to netgalley and avon for the arc
thank you to netgalley and avon for the arc
April 27, 2025
Here’s the thing: I can’t get over the ickiness of this being vaguely disguised fanfiction about Taylor swift. The premise itself is pretty basic and doesn’t have to feel like that, but this just oozes it. Most other parts of this book would have been much better for me without that weird layer.
The parts that worked: writing about creative block is hard but I think it works and actually makes sense as a plot device. The chemistry is there between the characters if not a little shallow. It’s very readable. The dialogue is believable for the most part.
That’s about where it ends for me. The timeline feels fuzzy, the main character, Lola, is wishy washy to the point of not being able to understand her. She’s so easily pliable and also unsure. It’s almost unbelievable how much she’s influenced by her manager. I guess what I mean is there’s not a lot of brainpower needed to see what’s coming next. I wish the characters had been given more depth.
Thanks for the ARC.
The parts that worked: writing about creative block is hard but I think it works and actually makes sense as a plot device. The chemistry is there between the characters if not a little shallow. It’s very readable. The dialogue is believable for the most part.
That’s about where it ends for me. The timeline feels fuzzy, the main character, Lola, is wishy washy to the point of not being able to understand her. She’s so easily pliable and also unsure. It’s almost unbelievable how much she’s influenced by her manager. I guess what I mean is there’s not a lot of brainpower needed to see what’s coming next. I wish the characters had been given more depth.
Thanks for the ARC.
August 19, 2025
I don't usually like books that start with a just met and in to bed...,, and this isn't really that. They used to know each other. The writer does such a good job of quickly establishing each character and importantly their physical connection that I was swept along. I was always keen to get back to the novel when I had to put it down. I was incredibly tense at the 3/4 mark when one main does something without talking to the other. I had to “put the book down and take a minute” tense!
I found I didn't want to pick the book back up because I didn't want to see these two, that I had grown to care about, be put through the wringer.
They and I were put through the wringer.... The ending brought it all together and the social media comments, and throughout the book were reflective of true life. (Tho not too cesspity!)
This was a 4.5 rounded up because I felt involved with the mains, rather than just dispassionately observing their journey.
I found I didn't want to pick the book back up because I didn't want to see these two, that I had grown to care about, be put through the wringer.
They and I were put through the wringer.... The ending brought it all together and the social media comments, and throughout the book were reflective of true life. (Tho not too cesspity!)
This was a 4.5 rounded up because I felt involved with the mains, rather than just dispassionately observing their journey.
September 12, 2025
Thank you to Avon and Harper Voyager for this eARC! This book had me from the title to be honest, Chappell references will always get me. And this book really delivered. I was really swept up in this second chance romance/ friends to lovers story. Even when I was frustrated as hell at both of the main characters and just wanted them to TALK TO EACHOTHER! But Lola and Renee's connection and chemistry really helped to keep me rooting for them through all of the trial and error. I also loved each of their support systems having people that would tell them when they were making mistakes. And the spice level is 10/10 truly highly recommend this read all the way around.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 19, 2025
3.5 ⭐️
October 14, 2025
Rep: Renee (MC) is cis, white, and lesbian. Lola (MC) is cis, white, and bisexual.
CWs: homophobia, queerphobia, alcohol.
I just loved it. It was easy to lose myself in, and easy to follow. I didn't fall asleep once, and that is saying a lot for me these days (I've been in a massive slump for months, and any new book makes me fall asleep while reading).
Five stars for my pure enjoyment
CWs: homophobia, queerphobia, alcohol.
I just loved it. It was easy to lose myself in, and easy to follow. I didn't fall asleep once, and that is saying a lot for me these days (I've been in a massive slump for months, and any new book makes me fall asleep while reading).
Five stars for my pure enjoyment
December 2, 2025
If you're going to write Gaylor fanfiction, I'd expect that you'd put in work to actually make it less obvious. That said the book wasn't totally horrible and I like that they were actually fucking, (there's an epidemic of authors sanitizing sapphic sex scenes because 'women shouldn't be so vulgar as to have sexual desires' lol), I just wish we'd gotten other intimate scenes that weren't physical. It felt like they hardly had deep conversations which again I wouldn't have minded if the book wasn't also trying to play that emotional depth aspect of.
I also do not think that either of the characters had any character growth even after the third act conflict and that's crazy...
Thank you Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review
I also do not think that either of the characters had any character growth even after the third act conflict and that's crazy...
Thank you Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review
May 1, 2025
Arc review!
It’s 6:00 a.m., and I should be sleeping—but I had to get this out first. This book was absolutely stunning. I don’t toss that word around lightly, but it truly fits here.
The story centers on Renee, an MFA student stuck in a creative rut, and Lola Gray, a pop star hiding in plain sight. Sasha Laurens brought these two characters together with such ease—it never felt contrived. Their chemistry was undeniable, and watching them explore both their relationship and their individual growth was a joy.
There’s a third-act rift, though I’d call it more of a pause than a full-blown breakup. My only critique? I wish we’d seen both of them turn to therapy. With the emotional weight they each carry—Renee’s people-pleasing, Lola’s abandonment wounds—it would’ve added depth to see them unpack those struggles with professional help. Their reunion felt a bit too neat without it.
That said, I’m genuinely excited to see what Sasha Laurens writes next. Huge thanks for the ARC!
April 15, 2025
Thank you NetGalley for an early copy!
This was a very cute and fun sapphic romance 🥰 I feel like the queer Swifties and Sabrina Carpenter fans are gonna eat this up. I feel the main ladies were relatable and just so cute. Was the plot predictable? Absolutely. Did that matter? No. I’m here for the cozy gay vibes and that’s what I got.
This was a very cute and fun sapphic romance 🥰 I feel like the queer Swifties and Sabrina Carpenter fans are gonna eat this up. I feel the main ladies were relatable and just so cute. Was the plot predictable? Absolutely. Did that matter? No. I’m here for the cozy gay vibes and that’s what I got.
May 24, 2025
This book 100% started as a fanfic by a swiftie but y’know what? The fanfic vibe added to it I think. This was mad cute and I liked both of the main characters. Artsy fartsy sapphics forever. Thank you NetGalley for the early copy :3
April 17, 2025
I thought this book was going to be good sapphic romances. And it may be for other readers. I’m definitely in the minority with this book. Overall, it didn’t work for me like I had hoped it would.
June 15, 2025
nothing offensively bad about this one, but I'm always conflicted by stories - especially romance novels, given the typical content - that are very clearly inspired by real people, even if the author doesn't go beyond aggressive wink-nudging. not that I think Taylor Swift or any of the various people she was linked to during the Red/1989 album cycle (see, I can be a terminally online lesbian too) are ever gonna read this, but it feels a little too like trying to have the cake of gaylor conspiracy theorizing while also condemning it.
October 5, 2025
Rating: 4 stars
If there's one thing about me it's that I do love a pop star romance. It's slightly hard to disengage from the fact that this is very clearly inspired by Taylor Swift but I liked the exploration of queer as a verb and the responsibility of power and privilege.
If there's one thing about me it's that I do love a pop star romance. It's slightly hard to disengage from the fact that this is very clearly inspired by Taylor Swift but I liked the exploration of queer as a verb and the responsibility of power and privilege.
November 18, 2025
I had a ton of fun with this book and it made me really dissect the line between RPF and using real people as inspiration. It's no secret that Lola is a thinly veiled Taylor Swift insert, but somehow it works for me, I so deeply hated If Not For My Baby due to it basically being a copy past of Hozier's life in a really uncomfortable way. What separates these books are the celebrities they're inspired by and how those characters are used to tell a story. In If Not For My Baby, the Hozier character is solely there for horny fantasies and his identity as a political artist is scrubbed away. In contrast, Lola does not share Taylor's personality, instead inspiration is taken from her career and the whole gaylor fandom. It uses her as a vehicle to criticize fandom culture around celebs, but also to critique Taylor herself. A celebrity can claim liberalism and profit off of queer culture, but if they don't put their money where their mouth is what's the point. I'll also be honest, Taylor Swift is someone who uses her private life to effectively sell her stardom and if she didn't want fans obsessing about it, she wouldn't spend all her time creating easter eggs for them. As a result, it doesn't feel as weird to write a character inspired by an extremely public person. Hozier on the other hand is very private, so using him as inspo feels gross.
Aside from the interesting thoughts about RPF, I really appreciated Renee's storyline about growing to understand your passions. Not everyone is cut out for constant critique, but you can still make art and be involved in a creative field while protecting your mental health. Overall, a solid adult debut for Laurens and I'm excited to see what her next release is.
Thanks to the publisher for providing me with a free e-ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Aside from the interesting thoughts about RPF, I really appreciated Renee's storyline about growing to understand your passions. Not everyone is cut out for constant critique, but you can still make art and be involved in a creative field while protecting your mental health. Overall, a solid adult debut for Laurens and I'm excited to see what her next release is.
Thanks to the publisher for providing me with a free e-ARC in exchange for my honest review.
October 1, 2025
3.5 stars
(thankyou netgalley for the arc)
(publishing october 28th 2025)
requested because of the chappell roan reference and i wasnt dissapointed
I fucking hate her manager so much I'm glad she got that ending.
I loved lola so much and her friendship with Nash .
Renee did annoy me though and there was no need for what she did to her batista friend.
I did love the ending.
(thankyou netgalley for the arc)
(publishing october 28th 2025)
requested because of the chappell roan reference and i wasnt dissapointed
I fucking hate her manager so much I'm glad she got that ending.
I loved lola so much and her friendship with Nash .
Renee did annoy me though and there was no need for what she did to her batista friend.
I did love the ending.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 17, 2025
When I Picture You is a contemporary queer romance with lots of banter and a highly original story. The story is equal parts a red-carpet glamor romcom and a journey of self‑discovery for the protagonists—perfect for anyone who enjoys exciting romance with emotional depth!
The story follows Renee Feldman, who should be finishing her MFA in documentary film—instead she’s back home, working at a café & avoiding her thesis. Meanwhile, Lola Gray is a chart‑topping singer who’s falling apart after a secret breakup & writer’s block. When the two reconnect at the wedding of Lola’s sister, sparks fly. Lola’s team needs a documentary director for her album after the hired director turns out to be a failure, & Renee steps in.
The story mostly centers around Renee—she’s a compelling character who’s so talented, but her insecurity & fear of failure are holding her back. She has a lot of charm and sarcasm in her dialogue, making her feel real and very likable—and readers will root for her, especially with the “I’ve got nothing to lose” attitude she develops. Meanwhile, Lola, who’s outwardly glamorous and confident, has a lot of anxiety about keeping her personal life a secret and her writer’s block. Their relationship evolves beautifully—from childhood friends reconnecting to an unexpected hookup to a professional partnership to a deep emotional connection! And along the way there are a lot of relatable, messy moments—jealousy, fear of exposure, power imbalance, and heated debates. By the end, both character arcs are pronounced, and they’re forever changed as individuals and together!
The story is fast-paced throughout, despite being a character-driven story with lots of banter. The setup is quick—Renee’s crisis, Lola’s return to film/music, and their reconnecting. The midsection, where the documentary project kicks off, gets more interesting with messy professional and intimate scenes and lots of tension, with a fascinating backdrop of the music industry making everything more glamorous! The ending is more authentic than a typical romance, with satisfying resolution on themes of identity, love, and fame and important choices being made. Instead of a typical HEA, the conclusion offers realistic optimism for the characters, which many readers will appreciate!
This book will hit the mark for anyone who enjoys queer romance, celebrity glamor, stories of self-discovery, and characters that are entirely relatable! If all this sounds intriguing, don’t hesitate to grab a copy!
The story follows Renee Feldman, who should be finishing her MFA in documentary film—instead she’s back home, working at a café & avoiding her thesis. Meanwhile, Lola Gray is a chart‑topping singer who’s falling apart after a secret breakup & writer’s block. When the two reconnect at the wedding of Lola’s sister, sparks fly. Lola’s team needs a documentary director for her album after the hired director turns out to be a failure, & Renee steps in.
The story mostly centers around Renee—she’s a compelling character who’s so talented, but her insecurity & fear of failure are holding her back. She has a lot of charm and sarcasm in her dialogue, making her feel real and very likable—and readers will root for her, especially with the “I’ve got nothing to lose” attitude she develops. Meanwhile, Lola, who’s outwardly glamorous and confident, has a lot of anxiety about keeping her personal life a secret and her writer’s block. Their relationship evolves beautifully—from childhood friends reconnecting to an unexpected hookup to a professional partnership to a deep emotional connection! And along the way there are a lot of relatable, messy moments—jealousy, fear of exposure, power imbalance, and heated debates. By the end, both character arcs are pronounced, and they’re forever changed as individuals and together!
The story is fast-paced throughout, despite being a character-driven story with lots of banter. The setup is quick—Renee’s crisis, Lola’s return to film/music, and their reconnecting. The midsection, where the documentary project kicks off, gets more interesting with messy professional and intimate scenes and lots of tension, with a fascinating backdrop of the music industry making everything more glamorous! The ending is more authentic than a typical romance, with satisfying resolution on themes of identity, love, and fame and important choices being made. Instead of a typical HEA, the conclusion offers realistic optimism for the characters, which many readers will appreciate!
This book will hit the mark for anyone who enjoys queer romance, celebrity glamor, stories of self-discovery, and characters that are entirely relatable! If all this sounds intriguing, don’t hesitate to grab a copy!
April 27, 2025
Alexa, play “Most Wanted Man” by Lucy Dacus, PLEASE. ON REPEAT.
If you’re looking for a perfect, unflawed sapphic romance, this book isn’t for you, babes. Sorry, not sorry. If you want to smile, laugh, cry (a little), and yell at characters during wee hours of the morning, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Lola & Renee are *HUMAN*, which is a weird thing to include, but I think sometimes romance is a bit too idealistic (I’m probably going to regret saying that, because I do love a quick cliche read).
As a fellow creative, I think this story does justice to examining relationships between creatives, especially if they’re at different points in their career. Lola (good girl, closeted) is more seasoned; she had child stardom and the talent that allowed it to continue into adulthood, but she’s a pop star. With that comes anonymity, secrets, she’s more than an individual- “she’s an industry” (pretty sure that’s a direct quote). Renee (rebel, out) is a girl with big dreams from a small town, trying to follow her passion for filming documentaries. Does she always get it right? No, but she can only follow the path she knows until she finds something else that feels better. With that comes self-doubt, stress from doing it on your own, etc. Both of them are struggling with people pleasing and comparing themselves to others who get to live the lives they want, while being stunted, career-wise.
Matter of fact, Alexa, play the whole album “Forever Is a Feeling” by Lucy Dacus
Dual POV
Opposites Attract
GrumpyxSunshine
Crush on the [girl] next door.
A little forced proximity
A little workplace romance.
Lots of dramatic irony
Spicy (maybe like ⅗ level but very tasteful).
The point I’m making is that you get a little of everything.
A little spoiler, but it’s not important to the main plot: WHEN RENEE FINDS OUT LOLA HAS HAD A CRUSH ON HER SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL & THAT HER FIRST ALBUM IS ABOUT HER. The fangirl in me was squealing!
Oh yeah, I received this as a NetGalley ARC from Avon/Harper Voyage! So happy I got the opportunity to read! Thanks!
If you’re looking for a perfect, unflawed sapphic romance, this book isn’t for you, babes. Sorry, not sorry. If you want to smile, laugh, cry (a little), and yell at characters during wee hours of the morning, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Lola & Renee are *HUMAN*, which is a weird thing to include, but I think sometimes romance is a bit too idealistic (I’m probably going to regret saying that, because I do love a quick cliche read).
As a fellow creative, I think this story does justice to examining relationships between creatives, especially if they’re at different points in their career. Lola (good girl, closeted) is more seasoned; she had child stardom and the talent that allowed it to continue into adulthood, but she’s a pop star. With that comes anonymity, secrets, she’s more than an individual- “she’s an industry” (pretty sure that’s a direct quote). Renee (rebel, out) is a girl with big dreams from a small town, trying to follow her passion for filming documentaries. Does she always get it right? No, but she can only follow the path she knows until she finds something else that feels better. With that comes self-doubt, stress from doing it on your own, etc. Both of them are struggling with people pleasing and comparing themselves to others who get to live the lives they want, while being stunted, career-wise.
Matter of fact, Alexa, play the whole album “Forever Is a Feeling” by Lucy Dacus
Dual POV
Opposites Attract
GrumpyxSunshine
Crush on the [girl] next door.
A little forced proximity
A little workplace romance.
Lots of dramatic irony
Spicy (maybe like ⅗ level but very tasteful).
The point I’m making is that you get a little of everything.
A little spoiler, but it’s not important to the main plot: WHEN RENEE FINDS OUT LOLA HAS HAD A CRUSH ON HER SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL & THAT HER FIRST ALBUM IS ABOUT HER. The fangirl in me was squealing!
Oh yeah, I received this as a NetGalley ARC from Avon/Harper Voyage! So happy I got the opportunity to read! Thanks!
June 29, 2025
rating — 3.75 out of 5 stars.
this is not exactly a news flash if you’ve read pretty much any other review for this book, but just in case you haven’t, let me start off by telling you: this is basically taylor swift fanfiction. gaylor fanfiction, in particular, and for the uninitiated, i’m referring to the community of people online who believe that taylor swift is queer in some way. this book follows a similar vein – mega famous popstar has spent her whole life/career in the closet, had a disastrous sapphic relationship behind the scenes, etc. as someone who’s familiar with the gaylor theories, it’s honestly kind of crazy how closely a lot of the events of this book follow them (down to the infamous concert balcony video??? come on!!)
i did really enjoy the writing on this one. i felt like the conflicts were developed well and didn’t feel too over-the-top, though i did think lola was a bit overly blind to how controlling gloriana was. the only thing that took me out of it was how closely aligned it felt to taylor! it didn’t ruin it for me or anything, but i do feel like it changed my appreciation a bit in that i felt like i was reading less of an original work and more of an homage if that makes sense? i think if i wasn’t so familiar with the lore it would change things for me! it was still very well written, though, so i would definitely recommend.
thank you to netgalley & the publisher for an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
this is not exactly a news flash if you’ve read pretty much any other review for this book, but just in case you haven’t, let me start off by telling you: this is basically taylor swift fanfiction. gaylor fanfiction, in particular, and for the uninitiated, i’m referring to the community of people online who believe that taylor swift is queer in some way. this book follows a similar vein – mega famous popstar has spent her whole life/career in the closet, had a disastrous sapphic relationship behind the scenes, etc. as someone who’s familiar with the gaylor theories, it’s honestly kind of crazy how closely a lot of the events of this book follow them (down to the infamous concert balcony video??? come on!!)
i did really enjoy the writing on this one. i felt like the conflicts were developed well and didn’t feel too over-the-top, though i did think lola was a bit overly blind to how controlling gloriana was. the only thing that took me out of it was how closely aligned it felt to taylor! it didn’t ruin it for me or anything, but i do feel like it changed my appreciation a bit in that i felt like i was reading less of an original work and more of an homage if that makes sense? i think if i wasn’t so familiar with the lore it would change things for me! it was still very well written, though, so i would definitely recommend.
thank you to netgalley & the publisher for an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
June 5, 2025
thank you netgalley & the publisher for the eARC :)
3.75 ⭐️ rounded up
this was a very cute sapphic romance!! i really liked how it talked about how it can be hard for people to come out. i also adored the childhood friends to lovers trope in this as well as renee & lola’s banter!
i did however find that it read a bit like a fanfic, particularly with the interstitials. i do understand that social media can play a part when writing a novel that has a character that is a celebrity, however it was a little off-putting seeing emojis and fans arguing in an actual novel.
overall, it was a fun read! i would recommend it to those who are looking for a quick sapphic romance read
3.75 ⭐️ rounded up
this was a very cute sapphic romance!! i really liked how it talked about how it can be hard for people to come out. i also adored the childhood friends to lovers trope in this as well as renee & lola’s banter!
i did however find that it read a bit like a fanfic, particularly with the interstitials. i do understand that social media can play a part when writing a novel that has a character that is a celebrity, however it was a little off-putting seeing emojis and fans arguing in an actual novel.
overall, it was a fun read! i would recommend it to those who are looking for a quick sapphic romance read
January 5, 2026
This book completely caught me off guard in the best possible way. this queer rom com about second chances, creative burnout, and the kind of sweeping romance that fuels our favorite love songs. Renee Feldman is a struggling documentary film student who’s stalled out creatively, financially, and emotionally. Her thesis project is nonexistent, her debt is piling up, and if she doesn’t re enroll soon, she’ll be out of her MFA program entirely. On the other side is Lola Gray, a pop star who was once hailed as the songwriter of her generation, now grappling with writer’s block and the fallout of a secret relationship that shattered her heart and delayed her coming out journey. When the two unexpectedly reunite at a wedding after not seeing each other for a decade, sparks fly fast. What begins as a one night stand turns into something far more complicated when Lola needs a new director for a documentary tied to her next album and Renee just might be her only option.I didn’t expect to love this as much as I did especially since I don’t usually gravitate toward what I’d call Taylor Swift coded romance but wow, this book surprised me. the chemistry between Renee and Lola is beautifully done. It’s tender, messy, creative, and emotional. One thing that really resonated with me was Renee’s role as a videographer/photographer. As someone with a degree in both, her perspective, passion, and struggles felt incredibly real and personal. The exploration of creativity how it can disappear under pressure and reappear through connection was one of my favorite aspects of the story.This was such a strong start to my reading year, and I’m genuinely so glad my friend Kat recommended it and gifted me the book. Loved, loved, loved this one. If you’re looking for your next queer romance highly recommend picking this up.
September 19, 2025
would like to thank netgalley and the publisher for letting me read this book
renee feldman and lola gray were childhood neighbours back in the day ...now their lives were totally different.. renee is a dropout from film school and lola is famous popstar
but they are both attending lolas sisters wedding..... but they are about to leave the wedding together and spend a night they will both never forget...
with lolas writers block and no new written songs for a while to keep her fresh in the publics eye her team suggested a documentary about lola... though she hated the idea she really didnt want the producer they also wanted so lola put forward renees name as the one she wanted
she won her battle but was she going to win the war... when betrayal came she hadnt realised who it would be....
it was an interesting read and watching how lola and renee connected afters years apart was incredible... and the secrets behind lolas first album was about to rock renees world....
will be interested in reading more from this author
renee feldman and lola gray were childhood neighbours back in the day ...now their lives were totally different.. renee is a dropout from film school and lola is famous popstar
but they are both attending lolas sisters wedding..... but they are about to leave the wedding together and spend a night they will both never forget...
with lolas writers block and no new written songs for a while to keep her fresh in the publics eye her team suggested a documentary about lola... though she hated the idea she really didnt want the producer they also wanted so lola put forward renees name as the one she wanted
she won her battle but was she going to win the war... when betrayal came she hadnt realised who it would be....
it was an interesting read and watching how lola and renee connected afters years apart was incredible... and the secrets behind lolas first album was about to rock renees world....
will be interested in reading more from this author
August 24, 2025
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC! All opinions in this review are my own.
.25 stars, would give it none if I could. DNF'd at 33%/C13.
This novel is full of biphobia and hate towards anyone that is not lesbian which all stems from one of the FMC's Renee. Not only did Renee have CONSTANT negative thoughts and feelings about literally anyone that wasn't an out, proud, and a "cool" lesbian like herself, she was also absolutely insufferable. She was constantly negative about every. single. thing. The wedding? She hates love and doesn't wanna be there despite it being for a childhood friend whom she is supposedly happy for. Also, why is her mum even happy being at this wedding, she's a divorcee! Her mum's boyfriend of 4 years? They haven't dated long enough for him to really know her mum. These Sweet Sixteens I film for my interim job? It doesn't matter what the client wants, who wants to watch this and why do I need to make edit it to be "fun" and happy? The schedule and expectations of a pop star? So stupid, I am going to rage against the system at all times despite getting a gig that I am completely unqualified for and incompetent at. Walls? I am going to reminisce about how I used to punch them because I have no emotional regulation. My career? I am going to constantly cry about how no one likes my art and it's not because I didn't bother to take critiques and improve, its because everyone else's tastes suck. I make "real" art.
As for Lola? I don't have much to say. She was just there (which kind of was her character's "flaw") but Renee literally sucked all the air out of the room so there was no room for Lola to actually shine despite being the pop star in question.
Besides the FMCs, there was also the token diversity checklist POC, non-binary, and poly best friend. It was also spilled out in one sentence instead of staggered naturally throughout the novel who they were. IIRC, they might've been the only POC mentioned.
It's upsetting because the premise itself could be really fun and make for a cute love story but Renee is such a terrible character that I can't stand reading about her and her phobia against others in the queer community and anyone cis/heterosexual. Hate isn't cute.
.25 stars, would give it none if I could. DNF'd at 33%/C13.
This novel is full of biphobia and hate towards anyone that is not lesbian which all stems from one of the FMC's Renee. Not only did Renee have CONSTANT negative thoughts and feelings about literally anyone that wasn't an out, proud, and a "cool" lesbian like herself, she was also absolutely insufferable. She was constantly negative about every. single. thing. The wedding? She hates love and doesn't wanna be there despite it being for a childhood friend whom she is supposedly happy for. Also, why is her mum even happy being at this wedding, she's a divorcee! Her mum's boyfriend of 4 years? They haven't dated long enough for him to really know her mum. These Sweet Sixteens I film for my interim job? It doesn't matter what the client wants, who wants to watch this and why do I need to make edit it to be "fun" and happy? The schedule and expectations of a pop star? So stupid, I am going to rage against the system at all times despite getting a gig that I am completely unqualified for and incompetent at. Walls? I am going to reminisce about how I used to punch them because I have no emotional regulation. My career? I am going to constantly cry about how no one likes my art and it's not because I didn't bother to take critiques and improve, its because everyone else's tastes suck. I make "real" art.
As for Lola? I don't have much to say. She was just there (which kind of was her character's "flaw") but Renee literally sucked all the air out of the room so there was no room for Lola to actually shine despite being the pop star in question.
Besides the FMCs, there was also the token diversity checklist POC, non-binary, and poly best friend. It was also spilled out in one sentence instead of staggered naturally throughout the novel who they were. IIRC, they might've been the only POC mentioned.
It's upsetting because the premise itself could be really fun and make for a cute love story but Renee is such a terrible character that I can't stand reading about her and her phobia against others in the queer community and anyone cis/heterosexual. Hate isn't cute.
October 13, 2025
⭐⭐⭐ Three stars
If I had realised before purchasing this book that it was about Taylor Swift discourse I never would have bought it, and I hate to say it but I was thinking about her the entire time I read it. Save me, Chappell Roan lyric title reference!
When I Picture You was very much just okay. I can't think of any lines that stood out to me as being beautifully written, and I didn't warm to any of the characters—they were very much just there. Honestly give it a day or two and this book will be a blur to me because nothing about it was special at all.
In saying that, the audiobook was well performed and the Afterlight edition is gorgeous. But I don't know that I need to hang onto it.
If I had realised before purchasing this book that it was about Taylor Swift discourse I never would have bought it, and I hate to say it but I was thinking about her the entire time I read it. Save me, Chappell Roan lyric title reference!
When I Picture You was very much just okay. I can't think of any lines that stood out to me as being beautifully written, and I didn't warm to any of the characters—they were very much just there. Honestly give it a day or two and this book will be a blur to me because nothing about it was special at all.
In saying that, the audiobook was well performed and the Afterlight edition is gorgeous. But I don't know that I need to hang onto it.
October 28, 2025
Thank you so much for the chance to read this book early!
I absolutely adore reading sapphic Hollywood stories, and the fact that this relationship was filled with so much history and layers was very intriguing.
When I Picture You is the beautifully complicated story of Lola and Renee's love story. Lola, global pop superstar beloved by millions, is gearing up to begin a new era of her music career after a long hiatus. The problem? Known for her eloquent and hard-hitting song writing, Lola has encountered writers block. To rub salt in the wound, Lola has a documentary on the horizon to coincide with her album release, in hopes to remind the public how much they adore her music after laying low. Enter Renee, a burnt out film student who has moved back to her hometown for a break from her MFA program in New York City.
Lola's sister Claudia's wedding sets the scene for Lola's return to her hometown, where she reconnects with Renee after not seeing each other since high school. After an unbelievable night - Lola returns to her life of fame, dreading the thought of working with a director her team has slated for the documentary. Refusing to work with the chosen director, Lola takes matters into her own hands and calls on Renee to direct the film for her MFA's thesis project, with their relationship remaining strictly professional . Set to be a major feature with a strict timeline, Renee agrees to the crazy idea and goes to LA to begin filming.
Throughout the filming process (and loads of red tape and strict topics Lola's team has planned) Renee struggles with what story is being told within the film. As Renee and Lola get closer, Lola opens up more about her past in regards to her sexuality. As they navigate the growing bond between them, Renee begins to think that this film is the perfect opportunity for Lola to share her true self with the world.
I really appreciated the complexities of this book. Unfortunately, because of how big Lola's fame is, there were so many things to think about in regards to her coming out. A lot of it would be work internally, because even though she did want to share her story, you could also tell she didn't exactly know what she WANTED from doing so. Is it as simple as just posting about it? Does it have to be the premise of the movie? Do I care what my fans think about me waiting this long? She really had to sit with all of the questions and outcomes and decide for herself, not anyone else. To Renee, it was truly as simple as just doing it. But with so many people in Lola's ear, on Lola's payroll, relying on her success, she did reiterate that she herself is a business. There were just so many extra layers to her figuring this out for herself. I felt really bad for her even though she was not communicating well with Renee in the last 1/4ish of the book. I just wanted her to be able to talk to someone and be normal, stripped of the fame.
And yes - this had sooooo many connections to TS / gaylor, down to the concert balcony. I did not know the premise of the book before requesting (I loved the cover and could tell it was sapphic - I didn't know there were ties to TS until I went to mark I was reading it on here.) I tried to turn off that knowledge and just take the book as is, but some parts were definitely hard to ignore with the similarities.
I also agree with a few other reviews that I wish I got more "lovey" scenes - like I was being told they loved each other, but wasn't quite convinced because they kind of just went straight to Renee staying at Lola's house. They did tone down the amount of people on the set, but it felt more like a secret affair than them falling in love behind the scenes.
I loved what she chose to do in regards to the foundation! I wish we got a little bit more of a clear view of what the movie ended up being (like the overall flow, especially since Renee missed everything "clicking" for Lola in those few months where they weren't speaking. So what was the overarching story from start to finish? Truly a doc I would watch... I want to know!) But overall I enjoyed this book!
I absolutely adore reading sapphic Hollywood stories, and the fact that this relationship was filled with so much history and layers was very intriguing.
When I Picture You is the beautifully complicated story of Lola and Renee's love story. Lola, global pop superstar beloved by millions, is gearing up to begin a new era of her music career after a long hiatus. The problem? Known for her eloquent and hard-hitting song writing, Lola has encountered writers block. To rub salt in the wound, Lola has a documentary on the horizon to coincide with her album release, in hopes to remind the public how much they adore her music after laying low. Enter Renee, a burnt out film student who has moved back to her hometown for a break from her MFA program in New York City.
Lola's sister Claudia's wedding sets the scene for Lola's return to her hometown, where she reconnects with Renee after not seeing each other since high school. After an unbelievable night - Lola returns to her life of fame, dreading the thought of working with a director her team has slated for the documentary. Refusing to work with the chosen director, Lola takes matters into her own hands and calls on Renee to direct the film for her MFA's thesis project, with their relationship remaining strictly professional . Set to be a major feature with a strict timeline, Renee agrees to the crazy idea and goes to LA to begin filming.
Throughout the filming process (and loads of red tape and strict topics Lola's team has planned) Renee struggles with what story is being told within the film. As Renee and Lola get closer, Lola opens up more about her past in regards to her sexuality. As they navigate the growing bond between them, Renee begins to think that this film is the perfect opportunity for Lola to share her true self with the world.
I really appreciated the complexities of this book. Unfortunately, because of how big Lola's fame is, there were so many things to think about in regards to her coming out. A lot of it would be work internally, because even though she did want to share her story, you could also tell she didn't exactly know what she WANTED from doing so. Is it as simple as just posting about it? Does it have to be the premise of the movie? Do I care what my fans think about me waiting this long? She really had to sit with all of the questions and outcomes and decide for herself, not anyone else. To Renee, it was truly as simple as just doing it. But with so many people in Lola's ear, on Lola's payroll, relying on her success, she did reiterate that she herself is a business. There were just so many extra layers to her figuring this out for herself. I felt really bad for her even though she was not communicating well with Renee in the last 1/4ish of the book. I just wanted her to be able to talk to someone and be normal, stripped of the fame.
And yes - this had sooooo many connections to TS / gaylor, down to the concert balcony. I did not know the premise of the book before requesting (I loved the cover and could tell it was sapphic - I didn't know there were ties to TS until I went to mark I was reading it on here.) I tried to turn off that knowledge and just take the book as is, but some parts were definitely hard to ignore with the similarities.
I also agree with a few other reviews that I wish I got more "lovey" scenes - like I was being told they loved each other, but wasn't quite convinced because they kind of just went straight to Renee staying at Lola's house. They did tone down the amount of people on the set, but it felt more like a secret affair than them falling in love behind the scenes.
I loved what she chose to do in regards to the foundation! I wish we got a little bit more of a clear view of what the movie ended up being (like the overall flow, especially since Renee missed everything "clicking" for Lola in those few months where they weren't speaking. So what was the overarching story from start to finish? Truly a doc I would watch... I want to know!) But overall I enjoyed this book!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 23, 2025
[minor spoiler warning]
I so appreciate a well-rounded story. The characters felt real, not just the FMCs but the side characters as well. There were characters you love to love and characters you love to hate. This was a tremendous all-around book.
Lola, being a pushover, made me mad. Like, I know it was a big part of her arc, and I'm glad she didn't end the book that way, but my god, it was frustrating. This is not a knock against the story; it just was infuriating as a reader to see. Characters and stories like these remind me not to be this way. I'm such a chronic people pleaser, but reading books about people pleasers, especially from the perspective of one, is infuriating. Shoutout to characters and stories like Lola's, who remind me to have a backbone because it can be so frustrating when someone doesn't, especially from this third-person perspective, when the consequences seem much more apparent to us than to the main character.
A lot of Lola's internal struggle throughout the book(predictably) centers on her coming out, whether it's the right time, and the fear of repercussions, especially within the queer community. As part of this arc, I love the angle of Lola realizing her privilege in this whole thing. Her "come-to-Jesus" moment of "I have a responsibility to my community as a world-renowned pop star" is so important because it shows that a perspective shift can really change things. I think another valuable thing this book highlights is that the fear of coming out can also come from within the queer community. There's so much hate and judgment within the community itself that the one place that's supposed to feel safe often feels combative. This book highlights that the fear of coming out doesn't just come from the fear of what homophobic people will say, but also what the queer community will say, which is an important thing to remember. I think these are both essential sentiments and reminders that I don't often see in queer romances.
(Minor spoiler) I appreciate a third-act breakup where they're both in the wrong, they blame the other, they shoulder some of the blame, they acknowledge it, and they give each other time to grow as people without the anticipation of getting back together. It is the most believable as an option and makes the couple more realistic to root for.
The only reason it didn’t get 5 stars for me was just the fact that the story and the tropes weren’t my favorite. I rate books on two things, quality and enjoyment. In terms of quality this fully earns the 4.5 stars, but I rounded down simply because the story wasn’t my favorite. So don’t let that stop you from reading it, if the summary intrigues you and you love these tropes, I absolutely recommend it.
I'd highly recommend this book to sapphic romance fans, especially those who enjoy the celebrity/normie trope and the childhood best-friends-to-lovers trope. It's a great story; it felt realistic and heartfelt, despite the situation not being super relatable. You root for the couple, but you also root for them as individual people. We support living your truth in this house!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (4.5 rounded down)
🌶️🌶️🌶️ (2.5 rounded down, 3 explicit scenes and several cutaways and explicit comments)
Thank you to NetGalley and Avon and Harper Voyager for the advanced copy! I received an advanced copy of the book in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.
I so appreciate a well-rounded story. The characters felt real, not just the FMCs but the side characters as well. There were characters you love to love and characters you love to hate. This was a tremendous all-around book.
Lola, being a pushover, made me mad. Like, I know it was a big part of her arc, and I'm glad she didn't end the book that way, but my god, it was frustrating. This is not a knock against the story; it just was infuriating as a reader to see. Characters and stories like these remind me not to be this way. I'm such a chronic people pleaser, but reading books about people pleasers, especially from the perspective of one, is infuriating. Shoutout to characters and stories like Lola's, who remind me to have a backbone because it can be so frustrating when someone doesn't, especially from this third-person perspective, when the consequences seem much more apparent to us than to the main character.
A lot of Lola's internal struggle throughout the book(predictably) centers on her coming out, whether it's the right time, and the fear of repercussions, especially within the queer community. As part of this arc, I love the angle of Lola realizing her privilege in this whole thing. Her "come-to-Jesus" moment of "I have a responsibility to my community as a world-renowned pop star" is so important because it shows that a perspective shift can really change things. I think another valuable thing this book highlights is that the fear of coming out can also come from within the queer community. There's so much hate and judgment within the community itself that the one place that's supposed to feel safe often feels combative. This book highlights that the fear of coming out doesn't just come from the fear of what homophobic people will say, but also what the queer community will say, which is an important thing to remember. I think these are both essential sentiments and reminders that I don't often see in queer romances.
(Minor spoiler) I appreciate a third-act breakup where they're both in the wrong, they blame the other, they shoulder some of the blame, they acknowledge it, and they give each other time to grow as people without the anticipation of getting back together. It is the most believable as an option and makes the couple more realistic to root for.
The only reason it didn’t get 5 stars for me was just the fact that the story and the tropes weren’t my favorite. I rate books on two things, quality and enjoyment. In terms of quality this fully earns the 4.5 stars, but I rounded down simply because the story wasn’t my favorite. So don’t let that stop you from reading it, if the summary intrigues you and you love these tropes, I absolutely recommend it.
I'd highly recommend this book to sapphic romance fans, especially those who enjoy the celebrity/normie trope and the childhood best-friends-to-lovers trope. It's a great story; it felt realistic and heartfelt, despite the situation not being super relatable. You root for the couple, but you also root for them as individual people. We support living your truth in this house!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (4.5 rounded down)
🌶️🌶️🌶️ (2.5 rounded down, 3 explicit scenes and several cutaways and explicit comments)
Thank you to NetGalley and Avon and Harper Voyager for the advanced copy! I received an advanced copy of the book in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.
January 3, 2026
I received this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. ARC provided by Harper Audio and Avon Books.
Renee Feldman is desperate for a fresh start. She would hoped to rediscover her creative spark by taking time off from her MFA in documentary film. Instead, she is stalled. Barista-ing does not chip away at her debt, her thesis project is nonexistent, and if she does not re-enroll next semester, she will be out of the program.
Pop star Lola Gray is supposed to be the songwriter of her generation—but she hardly feels like it anymore. It has been a year since her secret relationship imploded, simultaneously breaking Lola’s heart, annihilating her plan to come out, and plummeting her into writer’s block.
But when Lola sees Renee at her sister’s wedding, all that stress comes to a grinding halt. Lola’s teenage crush on the fearless lesbian next door was so overwhelming, it secretly inspired her debut album. Lola and Renee have not crossed paths in a decade, but that night sparks fly.
Renee is still processing the hottest and most unexpected one-night stand of her life when Lola surprises her again. Her team is producing a documentary alongside her next album, but the director they hired is a creep. Lola needs Renee to replace him and filming starts in a week. With her thesis deadline approaching, Renee knows this is her only ticket to graduation.
As Lola and Renee reconnect, there is no denying the feelings they have for each other or the renewed creativity it inspires. But neither realizes how hard it will be to tell their love story in an industry that sets a narrative of its own.
When I Picture You is a queer rom-com celebrating the kind of sweeping romance that inspires our favorite love songs. While the writing itself is beautiful, the story often felt like it was trying to do too much in too little time. Some elements came across as deeply cringey and did not quite land for me. That said, I genuinely enjoyed the relationship between Renee and Lola—their chemistry was undeniable, and Lola’s fears around coming out, especially as a public figure, felt very real and relatable. But I felt there was not enough time in the book to give the characters deep personal growth, and missed the mark on both. The book is undeniably Taylor Swift coded and if you are looking for a story that reads like a full-length Taylor Swift album, this will likely work for you. And if you are into stories that allow their characters to be messy, flawed, and real and still find their way back to one another this book will speak to you.
Rating: 2.5/5
Renee Feldman is desperate for a fresh start. She would hoped to rediscover her creative spark by taking time off from her MFA in documentary film. Instead, she is stalled. Barista-ing does not chip away at her debt, her thesis project is nonexistent, and if she does not re-enroll next semester, she will be out of the program.
Pop star Lola Gray is supposed to be the songwriter of her generation—but she hardly feels like it anymore. It has been a year since her secret relationship imploded, simultaneously breaking Lola’s heart, annihilating her plan to come out, and plummeting her into writer’s block.
But when Lola sees Renee at her sister’s wedding, all that stress comes to a grinding halt. Lola’s teenage crush on the fearless lesbian next door was so overwhelming, it secretly inspired her debut album. Lola and Renee have not crossed paths in a decade, but that night sparks fly.
Renee is still processing the hottest and most unexpected one-night stand of her life when Lola surprises her again. Her team is producing a documentary alongside her next album, but the director they hired is a creep. Lola needs Renee to replace him and filming starts in a week. With her thesis deadline approaching, Renee knows this is her only ticket to graduation.
As Lola and Renee reconnect, there is no denying the feelings they have for each other or the renewed creativity it inspires. But neither realizes how hard it will be to tell their love story in an industry that sets a narrative of its own.
When I Picture You is a queer rom-com celebrating the kind of sweeping romance that inspires our favorite love songs. While the writing itself is beautiful, the story often felt like it was trying to do too much in too little time. Some elements came across as deeply cringey and did not quite land for me. That said, I genuinely enjoyed the relationship between Renee and Lola—their chemistry was undeniable, and Lola’s fears around coming out, especially as a public figure, felt very real and relatable. But I felt there was not enough time in the book to give the characters deep personal growth, and missed the mark on both. The book is undeniably Taylor Swift coded and if you are looking for a story that reads like a full-length Taylor Swift album, this will likely work for you. And if you are into stories that allow their characters to be messy, flawed, and real and still find their way back to one another this book will speak to you.
Rating: 2.5/5
October 20, 2025
3.5/5.
Heat Index: 7/10
—celebrity romance
—childhood crush
—closeted heroine
The Basics:
Renee is in a rut, unsure of how to finish her MFA in documentary filmmaking and struggling to figure out her life. Pop star Lola is still licking her wounds from the implosion of a secret relationship. Having known each other as kids, they reconnect for a single, hot night... which becomes something more when Lola needs to replace the director for a documentary to accompany her next album, and she offers the job to Renee. As their feelings grow, the undeniable reality that Lola isn't out—and isn't willing to come out anytime soon—encroaches on their happiness. Is she willing to risk her career for love?
The Review:
There are the bones of a book that knocks it out of the park here. The writing flows, the sex scenes are hot, the characters have their layers... and I'm a sucker for the "we knew each other years ago and I had a thing for you" device. I also loved that Lola and Renee hooked up early, then took their time getting to know each other on a deeper emotional level.
I'm honestly not well-versed enough in Gaylor fic to address the "this gives fic vibes" thing. It's hard, because like—books about closeted female pop stars existed before that fandom. I don't want to say you can't write about that concept without evoking them and their theories. In a way, what made me think of that was less the entire story of Lola and Renee falling in love, and more the discourse about the fandom and what Lola did or didn't owe the queer community.
And... I did struggle a bit with that, because I wasn't really sure where the book stood on it. I'm personally of the opinion that while celebrities should absolutely support the LGBT+ community, because any decent person should and they usually have money to spare—I don't think a celebrity owes the community "representation" by being out. And I don't think that someone not discussing their relationship means they're in the closet. Sure, we often assume a celebrity in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender is straight. But unless they say "I'm straight", how the fuck do we know? Are we owed that?
At points, it felt like the story was leaning on the "Lola needs to realize she owes her queer fans representation" side. Which distracted from the romance, for me. I know some people in that specific fandom mentioned above preach this. But frankly, I think people are much more directly helped by celebrities donating money and speaking out, versus making their own relationships public. If someone WANTS to be super public, sure. However, the idea that you *need* to share your relationships with your fans... It makes me feel weird. Renee at one point counters this, but I couldn't help but get the vibe that the narrative was giving a lot of credit to the fans.
This is basically a book in which the romance itself is fun, but the bits in which I felt like the author was tying to send a message didn't quite work for me. And, not coincidentally, those are the parts that felt most linked to real people. Though again, I really can't say unilaterally what the author may or may not have been taking inspiration from. I also just don't really love the idea that the pretty classic concept of the closeted celebrity falling in love is just... now automatically associated with Taylor Swift fan theories.
The Sex:
Good sex scenes, not CRAZY but fun. I don't have a lot of notes here besides saying that Lola and Renee's chemistry felt real, and I again appreciated a book where they didn't take forever to hook up.
The Conclusion:
I think that if you read this blind and take off any inevitable speculation about the potential inspo away, this is a fun, if not boundary-breaking romance. The politics it tries to engage with are a little "meh" to me, but others might disagree. I just don't really like the idea of people coming out to support the community, when they could just... support the community more generally. But I don't know that the book was preaching otherwise!
And if you don't care much about that either way, you'll probably have a good time, as I otherwise did. The voice performances for this audio ARC were really solid, too!
Thanks to HarperAudio Adult and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this audiobook. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Heat Index: 7/10
—celebrity romance
—childhood crush
—closeted heroine
The Basics:
Renee is in a rut, unsure of how to finish her MFA in documentary filmmaking and struggling to figure out her life. Pop star Lola is still licking her wounds from the implosion of a secret relationship. Having known each other as kids, they reconnect for a single, hot night... which becomes something more when Lola needs to replace the director for a documentary to accompany her next album, and she offers the job to Renee. As their feelings grow, the undeniable reality that Lola isn't out—and isn't willing to come out anytime soon—encroaches on their happiness. Is she willing to risk her career for love?
The Review:
There are the bones of a book that knocks it out of the park here. The writing flows, the sex scenes are hot, the characters have their layers... and I'm a sucker for the "we knew each other years ago and I had a thing for you" device. I also loved that Lola and Renee hooked up early, then took their time getting to know each other on a deeper emotional level.
I'm honestly not well-versed enough in Gaylor fic to address the "this gives fic vibes" thing. It's hard, because like—books about closeted female pop stars existed before that fandom. I don't want to say you can't write about that concept without evoking them and their theories. In a way, what made me think of that was less the entire story of Lola and Renee falling in love, and more the discourse about the fandom and what Lola did or didn't owe the queer community.
And... I did struggle a bit with that, because I wasn't really sure where the book stood on it. I'm personally of the opinion that while celebrities should absolutely support the LGBT+ community, because any decent person should and they usually have money to spare—I don't think a celebrity owes the community "representation" by being out. And I don't think that someone not discussing their relationship means they're in the closet. Sure, we often assume a celebrity in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender is straight. But unless they say "I'm straight", how the fuck do we know? Are we owed that?
At points, it felt like the story was leaning on the "Lola needs to realize she owes her queer fans representation" side. Which distracted from the romance, for me. I know some people in that specific fandom mentioned above preach this. But frankly, I think people are much more directly helped by celebrities donating money and speaking out, versus making their own relationships public. If someone WANTS to be super public, sure. However, the idea that you *need* to share your relationships with your fans... It makes me feel weird. Renee at one point counters this, but I couldn't help but get the vibe that the narrative was giving a lot of credit to the fans.
This is basically a book in which the romance itself is fun, but the bits in which I felt like the author was tying to send a message didn't quite work for me. And, not coincidentally, those are the parts that felt most linked to real people. Though again, I really can't say unilaterally what the author may or may not have been taking inspiration from. I also just don't really love the idea that the pretty classic concept of the closeted celebrity falling in love is just... now automatically associated with Taylor Swift fan theories.
The Sex:
Good sex scenes, not CRAZY but fun. I don't have a lot of notes here besides saying that Lola and Renee's chemistry felt real, and I again appreciated a book where they didn't take forever to hook up.
The Conclusion:
I think that if you read this blind and take off any inevitable speculation about the potential inspo away, this is a fun, if not boundary-breaking romance. The politics it tries to engage with are a little "meh" to me, but others might disagree. I just don't really like the idea of people coming out to support the community, when they could just... support the community more generally. But I don't know that the book was preaching otherwise!
And if you don't care much about that either way, you'll probably have a good time, as I otherwise did. The voice performances for this audio ARC were really solid, too!
Thanks to HarperAudio Adult and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this audiobook. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
October 28, 2025
I don't read a crazy amount of queer pop star romances, but I do enjoy my fair share of them, and this one is one of them. This story isn't between two singers, but a singer and her director/childhood friend, where they see each other for the first time in years and rekindle their friendship . . . that leads to a relationship and evolves from there.
There's some really great character development seen throughout the book. It was a bit difficult to read about Lola being manipulated like that and for that long, but I knew it was for the plot and pushed on, because it's a romance books, things always got better.
This book is a quick and easy read. Very enjoyable. One thing I'd like to note, and maybe I'm not super clued into this side of the pop music world, but I don't feel like this book had anything to allude to Taylor Swift. I was reading other reviews on the internet before diving into my own reading, and so many people made comments about this book being Taylor Swift fanfiction or a queer Taylor Swift, and I truly don't see it. I'm making this a point in my review to acknowledge this from someone who doesn't listen to her music and other readers to see this perspective. Nothing against people who might think that, but I really don't see it.
There's some really great character development seen throughout the book. It was a bit difficult to read about Lola being manipulated like that and for that long, but I knew it was for the plot and pushed on, because it's a romance books, things always got better.
This book is a quick and easy read. Very enjoyable. One thing I'd like to note, and maybe I'm not super clued into this side of the pop music world, but I don't feel like this book had anything to allude to Taylor Swift. I was reading other reviews on the internet before diving into my own reading, and so many people made comments about this book being Taylor Swift fanfiction or a queer Taylor Swift, and I truly don't see it. I'm making this a point in my review to acknowledge this from someone who doesn't listen to her music and other readers to see this perspective. Nothing against people who might think that, but I really don't see it.
December 23, 2025
I've been a bit burned out on contemporary romance lately, and not-even-thinly-disguised Gaylor fic is not something I would have picked up unless I trusted the author, so I'm glad in this case that I do know & trust her!
- always a key question in books about musicians: do the song lyrics work? yes, yes they do! They remind me of good Taylor Swift love songs and not cringey Taylor Swift songs about her beef with some other celebrity.
- despite the over-the-top nature of celebrity romances, the issues between these two characters were really down to earth and about them, not just about celebrity life. Coming out was one of those complications, but it was much more nuanced than "you need to be out for us to be together" which was nice!
- also nice to read about two characters who knew each other from childhood but aren't totally defined by their childhoods? Sometimes I feel like I read so many stories where something from high school is important to the characters/plot and it feels like they simply skipped forward from high school to present day with the same friends and same issues. These two still have some growing & changing to do before they can really be together, but I appreciate how much I could feel they HAD grown and changed already before they reconnected!
- always a key question in books about musicians: do the song lyrics work? yes, yes they do! They remind me of good Taylor Swift love songs and not cringey Taylor Swift songs about her beef with some other celebrity.
- despite the over-the-top nature of celebrity romances, the issues between these two characters were really down to earth and about them, not just about celebrity life. Coming out was one of those complications, but it was much more nuanced than "you need to be out for us to be together" which was nice!
- also nice to read about two characters who knew each other from childhood but aren't totally defined by their childhoods? Sometimes I feel like I read so many stories where something from high school is important to the characters/plot and it feels like they simply skipped forward from high school to present day with the same friends and same issues. These two still have some growing & changing to do before they can really be together, but I appreciate how much I could feel they HAD grown and changed already before they reconnected!
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