How to Talk So People Will Listen

by Steve Brown

A step-by-step, practical explanation of how to talk so people listen, whether in church, with family, at work, or with friends.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Business, Communication, Leadership, Psychology

242 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 30, 1993

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Steve Brown is a radio broadcaster, seminary professor and author. He previously served as a pastor for over twenty-five years and now devotes much of his time to the radio broadcast, Key Life.

With such varied experience and unique perspective on life, Steve is an original. He refuses to be a "guru," doesn't want to be anyone's mother and gives, in his teaching, the freedom to think. Overall, Steve has become known for his refreshing and practical Biblical applications.

Steve serves as Professor Emeritus of Preaching and Pastoral Ministry at Reformed Theological Seminary. He sits on the board of the National Religious Broadcasters and Harvest USA. Traveling extensively, Steve is a much-in-demand speaker.

Steve is the author of numerous books including A Scandalous Freedom, What Was I Thinking? and Approaching God. His articles appear in such magazines and journals as Leadership, Decision, Plain Truth and Today's Christian Woman.

Reviews

[Patrice · Rating 2 out of 5]

I personally do not like the writing style of this book. It could have been a great book on communication and how to present yourself to others, it even offers some tips on how to prepare speeches and so on, but I just couldn't get past all of the anecdotes the author used to make his points. He spent more time telling stories about a topic than talking about the topic. The further I got into the book, the harder it became to finish. I think I will keep it as a reference, and I'm make sure to just skip to the parts I need.

[Logan · Rating 1 out of 5]

still the dumbest book that’s ever graced my eyes

[Elizabeth · Rating 2 out of 5]

For me, the most useful tip in this book was the idea that resistance to cultural change is futile. Want to be listened to? Get over yourself and figure out how your message can best be heard in the environment that exists - not the one you wish still existed.

[Gareth James · Rating 2 out of 5]

some insights but couldn’t finish

The author begins the book by explaining that as a Christian preacher many of his examples are taken from his faith, but that he is sure that the book will be useful and interesting for a wider audience. Unfortunately many of the stories and examples involved references to his faith or experience as a preacher, which meant that it’s not relevant or useful unless this is your situation. Many times I found myself struggling to find the relevance (how would god react to the use of over complex vocabulary in prayer?), and I realised that I had already started and abandoned this book once before in the past. I’m sure the book is useful for a Christian audience, but for a non-believer: 2/5

[Kimm Crandall · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was interested in reading this book because I thought it would help me to better understand how to communicate what I wanted to say while I was writing my first book. Although much of it is about public speaking it gave me some tools for my own casual conversations as well as my writing. I love how Steve pointed out that people don't remember that stupid thing that you said because they are too worried about whether they've said something stupid themselves. I believe that I have gained more confidence and freedom in my writing just because I am motivated by anything that Steve Brown says. I love the "Old White Guy."
Love how he ends this (not necessarily Christian book) by reminding the readers that our hope is not in what we say but rather who He is.

"Your words, no matter how eloquent
Your speeches, no matter how effective
Your conversations, no matter how stimulating
Your debates, no matter how victorious
Will all die when you die.

Then the only talking
That will be important
Will be what He says to you."

[Catherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

The best part of this book for me was chapter's 8 and 9 -- how to prepare for a speech and give a speech.

Here I found additional information I've never read before about preparing a speech. Even in my Toastmasters years I had never heard its recommendations.

He presents what he calls the "funnel principle" on page 129 I found very helpful.

I took away 10 very good, unique and workable, ways to improve my speech preparation, listening skills, and speech delivery.

[Patricia Kubus · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an interesting book, full of common sense study. It challenged me to reflect onto myself on how to speak and be more aware of what I'm actually saying and doing at the time. His experience and opinions were helpful. As the reader, I was looking for more from him; I'm not sure what, but it wasn't enough for me.

[Ian Minielly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I gave the book three stars because it fits with the self help kind of books on how to better deliver speeches. I do not think there was anything that made it stand out above the other books in this class, but it was a nice reminder and it had some nice points and it is worth reading and refreshing on the points the author makes.

One of the things I most appreciated about the book was the author's willingness to say if you give a bad speech or have a poor showing in a discussion, this should not be the end of your speech making or the end of your willingness to engage in discussion. Dust yourself off and get right back into it again and analyze what you did or did not do and do not make the same mistakes again. I think people are too quick to say they are not good at something, especially when just getting started.

Stick with it.

[Frank McKinley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Give great speeches, win arguments, and have better conversations with anyone

This isn’t like any book on public speaking you’ve ever read.

We’re communicating all the time. On the platform. Online. In conversations with friends, strangers, and coworkers. You’ll learn how to make your words count, what strategies to use, and what to do when things don’t work out like you planned.

You’ll also learn the right mindset to have in any communication situation. That’s worth far more than the price of the book!

Grab your copy today and people will listen when you talk tomorrow.

[Liza · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are a lot of good points in this book but I did not expect such a HEAVY Christian message. Over all Brown is a decent writer and highlights important aspects of speech-giving, but he is certainly in a preacher through and through.
There are several points made throughout this guide that are heavily reliant on faith. I give the three stars mainly for the exclusivity of this advice and for some of its simplistic nature.
While I would be lying if I said I didn’t learn any new tidbits of information, this will not be a re-read for me.

[Scott Guillory · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good. Lots of tips on how to have good one to one conversations with strangers that go beyond "How are you? I'm good." Steve Brown also gives good tips on public speaking. The writing is a bit juvenile in certain spots but on the plus side it is very understandable.

[Daniel Harding · Rating 3 out of 5]

Heavily anecdotal which is problematic but on this subject matter it’s probably necessary. A little too caustic but at times surprisingly encouraging. Definitively has some helpful structures and reminders.

[Diana · Rating 4 out of 5]

How to talk

There were some great ideas and hints in here for speaking well. I would have liked to see some deeper information on giving speeches.

[Gaylina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book because I thought it would help with everyday conversations so that I was clever and listened to by my audience. It helped me examine my speeches. It was a quick read.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Spoilers:
Overcome fear
Speak with purpose and passion
Focus conversation on others
Listen
Analyze and fix failures
If they can't note it, why say it

[weng maey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good read if you're a Christian at the same time aims to be an effective communicator.

[Dana Kinman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Steve Brown has managed to make a self-help topic interesting. Every chapter kept me engaged and wanting to learn more.

[Wassenario · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my jam

[Brittany West · Rating 3 out of 5]

It takes a while to get to the meat and potatoes in this book. Seems to share the same insight most of them do with few new tools to offer.

[Raeanna Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well said

I like his style. He communicates principles well with illustrations that make them easy to understand. Application is on me, however.

[Ashley McKnight · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful

The practical advice in this boom was good. However the author told a lot of stories to make his point. Many of these were funny and enjoyable but I thought there was too many of them.

[Shelley Dimick Ritter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was a good business perspective.

[Craig · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brown gives great advice on both public speaking and casual conversation.

[Andy Mitchell · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author is "High D" domineering on the DISC. Great ideas, but his style is very different than mine.

[Clyde Burch · Rating 3 out of 5]

Excellent Book. Very concise and informative and contains many useful tips that are easy to apply as well as easy not to apply.

[KevinS · Rating 3 out of 5]

Basic, very fast to read, nothing earthshattering but presented entertainingly with warmth and good anecdotes. helpful if you want to feel better about making speeches.

[Mieszko Pelc · Rating 3 out of 5]

xd 6

[Tari · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found chapters 7-9 especially practical and useful