How to Fall in Love with Humanity

by James Gill

Our wellbeing is ultimately founded on fulfilling relationships. Yet how effortlessly misunderstandings, disagreements and conflicts arise with those we care most about! Our political and legal systems promote an adversarial approach to resolution, and pop-psychology labels encourage us to pathologise those who have done us wrong. But the story of victim and villain has only ever deepened opposition. Without skills to mend our inevitable relationship ruptures, upsets prevail and disconnection deepens. No wonder loneliness is recognised globally as the next public health epidemic.

By turns fierce and poetic, How to Fall in Love with Humanity delivers what every relationship eventually aches a practical roadmap to repair.

You'll learn how to lead the way back to love when it goes missing, heal past hurts, mend current relationship upsets and prevent otherwise inevitable future conflicts, while developing your own invincible how to remain both 'unfuckwithable' and open-hearted in every way.

Genres: Nonfiction

Paperback

Reviews

[Alana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this to anyone opening to working on their own self compassion and thereby working on their compassion and relationships with others. 16 practical tips and exercises I went through and helped me learn a lot about myself and open myself to new ways of thinking. Hoping this helps me in my adult relationships

[Ruby · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought this book because I liked the title. I read the whole thing because I paid for it and I don’t like wasting money. What a long winded, repetitive book. I chipped away at it earnestly. It was like eating a salad with no dressing: probably wholesome, but NOT SATISFYING. I would not recommend this book, it really was a chore to read in my opinion. Apparently I am in the minority though… it’s averaging 4.5 stars! Maybe I am just an old grump. Probably 😂

[Andjelka Jankovic · Rating 5 out of 5]

Genuinely life changing practices in conscious communication — I employed them for a difficult conversation that actually ended in a magnificently peaceful place. Every human heart has goodness is a key learning and not making the other person the “problem” or the “villain” is a life altering perception change. We’re all trying our best. Highly recommend for anyone trying to relate to anyone!

[Just Charlotte · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book offers such a clear and accessible breakdown of conflict, with a layout that makes complex emotional dynamics feel manageable.

I loved the concept of ‘Libraries of Hurt’ —a beautiful and powerful way to describe the emotional weight we all carry. I also loved the personal anecdotes and analogies sprinkled throughout as it really helped ground the concepts and make them easier to connect with.

Some of the key lessons I took away were the importance of staying curious, taking ownership and learning to validate both people’s experiences to minimise the conflict avalanche.

I feel especially connected to this book because I met Fish at a four-day Rite of Passage facilitation camp quite a few years ago. Fish is an authentic, emotionally intelligent, compassionate, and kind human. I’m so proud of him for doing the hard work and for sharing his beautiful heart with the world

[Vanessa S · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant first book from this amazing human who has spent decades courageously working on how to repair relational conflicts. His step-by-step approach is warm, deeply wise, straightforward and based on a profound belief that our planet would be doing a lot better if we could finally learn how to attune to each other's upsets and meet each other with an open-heart. I would recommend it to anyone wanting to know become more masterful at tending to their relational upsets and learn radical compassion.