The Life of I: The New Culture of Narcissism

by Anne Manne

Far from being the work of a madman, Anders Breivik's murderous rampage in Norway was the action of an extreme narcissist. As the dead lay around him, he held up a finger asking for a Band-Aid.

Written with the pace of a psychological thriller, The Life of I is a compelling account of the rise of narcissism in individuals and society. Manne examines the Lance Armstrong doping scandal and the alarming rise of sexual assaults in sport and the military, as well as the vengeful killings of Elliot Rodger in California. She looks at narcissism in the pursuit of fame and our obsession with 'making it'. She goes beyond the usual suspects of social media and celebrity culture to the deeper root of the issue: how a new narcissistic character-type is being fuelled by a cult of the self and the pursuit of wealth in a hypercompetitive consumer society.

The Life of I also offers insights from the latest work in psychology, looking at how narcissism develops. But Manne also shows that there is an alternative: how to transcend narcissism, to be fully alive to the presence of others; how to create a world where love and care are no longer turned inward. - See more at: http://www.randomhouse.com.au/books/a...

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Science, Mental Health, Sociology, Health

240 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2014

About the author

Anne Manne is a Melbourne writer. She has been a regular columnist for the Australian and the Age. More recently her essays on contemporary culture such as child abuse, pornography, gendercide and disability have all appeared in The Monthly magazine. Her essay ‘Ebony: The Girl in the Room’ was included in The Best Australian Essay’s: A Ten Year Collection. Her book, Motherhood: How should we care for our children, was a finalist in the Walkley Award for Best Non-Fiction Book of 2006. She has written a Quarterly Essay, ‘Love and Money: The family of the Free Market’ and a memoir, So this is Life: Scenes from a country childhood.
- Taken from The Life of I: The New Culture of Narcissism

Reviews

[Simone Sinna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A thoughtful and thought provoking book, meticulously researched and with excellent case examples piecing together why some people end up as they do; cases like the Norwegian mass murderer and also chilling discussion by the young American man who raped an intellectually disabled woman and showed no remorse (and thought she should be grateful)…but whose mother had sacked every nanny he had ever tried to attach to because of her own narcissistic needs.
She analyses these cases and why there seems to be much more of this type of “me” thinking in First World, including the influence of Ayn Rand on American politics. I suggest everyone really should read this book, particularly if they have to intend to have children.

[Carol - Reading Writing and Riesling · Rating 5 out of 5]

Enlightening!

My View:
This is a very interesting and easy to read and absorbing discussion on narcissism and the narcissistic personality that involves contemporary high profile examples to demonstrate the actual ways (and potential for) narcissists to interact with the world and society.
I am sure we have all come across some of the behaviours on the lower end of the scale – the bully at work (yes I have met a few), cases of domestic violence (there are plenty of examples here), the precocious, the self-centred, those with imagined slights ; angry and vengeful. Are there more of these type personalities about or in this age of social media conscious, are we just more aware?

I was fascinated by the examples in this book – Anders Breivik, Lance Armstrong…and then as I was reading another high school shooting massacre in the USA appears on my news feed, such sadness fills my heart.

This is a book we should all be reading.

[Caitlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

There's a lot of books about what's wrong with society these days - it's clear we're all sick of the culture of selfies, social media, celebrity obsessions and other "ills" of modern life.
And yet we keep indulging.

Manne's book goes deeper and broader in putting a finger on something that is no longer "suffered" by a select few; narcissism.

Having listened to Manne talk about her work in interviews I wondered how she managed to connect the GFC, the horrific Sandinavian massacre, the 2014 Australian budget debate, climate change denial and a personality disorder - however she is able to bring these all together in a fascinating bundle.

The work on the culture of big business did remind me of John Ronson's book on psychopathy - and how elements of what used to be an illness are now lauded as strong leadership and management qualities.

It is therefore not about a few ill individuals, rather a society that breeds and celebrates traits that were once considered pathological - even though a "healthy" narcissism still brings problems.

I was somewhat relieved to be able to see how I am not a narcissist (however it did take me back to my days in undergrad psychology when pretty much every personality disorder could be attributable to my back-catalogue of ex boyfriends...)

This was highly readable and yet well informed - which is a balance not easily achieved in books of this nature. Much I've read recently has either been an expert trying to interpret their field for a more general audience, or a writer (such as a journalist) attempting to bring their (sometimes limited) research to their audience.

I found the ending a little abrupt - a work that brought together so much material and explored so many facets of a cultural problem probably needed more than a single page to really bring it together. More importantly, I came away feeling very much that the genie was well and truly out of the bottle, without much direction on how to perhaps move on from here.

[Tara Brabazon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very powerful book. It is contextual - deeply contextual. It presents the weeping wound of capitalism that demands that workers are consumers, and further, that identity is built and shared on the basis of what we buy.

It makes the argument that the outlier narcissists are - really - us. The culture values and validates micro-achievements, celebrating the opening of an envelope. Caring, quietness, thinking and sharing are not valued, unless it is the sharing of a micro 'achievement.'

Well written, considered and chilling, this book is a must read for anyone shaking their heads at the meaning and profile we gain from celebrating the seriously mediocre.

[Gail Chilianis · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very interesting account of the rise of narcissism in our society. The cover blurb sums up Anne Manne's insights "she goes beyond the usual suspects of social media and celebrity culture to the deeper root of the issue: how a new narcissistic character-type is being fuelled by a cult of the self and the pursuit of wealth in a hyper competitive consumer society"
I dipped in and out of this book and I intend to return to it!

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a fascinating look at the demonstrable rise of narcissism in society, moving well beyond the obvious (selfies, Facebook) to discuss its links to misogyny, mass murder, neoliberalism and even climate change denial. I've reviewed it in depth for The Monthly Magazine (upcoming issue, August 2014).

[Bookish Enchantment (Katherine Quirke) · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is a well written and informative book however I did not finish it.
It is very disturbing and no matter how often I picked this book up with the view to finish it I could not do it.
Maybe one day I will give it another go.

[YHC · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement before and learned a lot from that book. Manne's this book was in two parts: "Narcissism and the Individual" and "Narcissism and Society". First part she gave several examples for example, in Breivik, Lance Armstrong, and the young American men such as Elliot Rodger, son of director Peter Rodger. Second part the society, she talks about "the making of a narcissist".

What caught my eyes is actually the chapter about Ayn Rand.

“The whole idea of "leaners" and "lifters" is the central teaching of the right wing ideologue, Ayn Rand, who penned books like The Virtue of Selfishness. It’s a self-serving crock. Rand found out the hard way. After a lifetime proselytising on behalf of the "producers" and denouncing anyone needing government assistance as "parasites," when Rand became old and sick, she discovered that even a bestselling author could not afford health care in the neoliberal US. She availed herself of Medicare and ended her life on what she had despised – social security.
~ an edited extract from "The Life of I: the new culture of narcissism" ~Anne Manne~”

she quoted also:
“I am done with the monster of "We," the word of serfdom, of plunder, of misery, falsehood and shame.
And now I see the face of god, and I raise this god over the earth, this god whom men have sought since men came into being, this god who will grant them joy and peace and pride.
This god, this one word:
"I.”
― Ayn Rand, Anthem".

What I know about Ayn Rand was she supported elitism, she thought the inequality of economics placed no sin at all for those who pursue more money. She actually has great influences in american culture even nowadays. I have read her "The Fountainhead", she showed us individualism in the soul produces happiness in life. she showed that putting the needs of others, collectivism in the soul, produces only emptiness. And of course she promoted capitalism.

I think we all have something new to learn from a book, sometimes more, sometimes less. But learning something is always just fun enough to keep reading!

[Sarah Kivi · Rating 4 out of 5]

An absorbing, well written and thoughtful analysis of the impact that western cultural values and the rise of neoliberalism have had on the creation of both malignant narcissists (some very interesting case studies of well known identities) and an increasingly self-absorbed society. I was particularly fascinated by how the author explored this subject in relation to parenting styles and surprisingly climate change denial. Not just flat out deniers but those of us who take part in some level of denial of the reality we face on a daily basis in order to continue the lifestyles we are accustomed to. Turns out the problem of climate change is essentially a moral one. Thought provoking and easy to read.

[Mark Watson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am extremely impressed with the amount of research, and how detailed this text is. A solitary singular reading is insufficient to fully take in the totality of all that is considered and yes, well addressed.
I recommend you read this book to gain a deeper understanding, knowledge and insight into narcissism as well as maybe surprisingly, neoliberalism! Yet, the two fit together very well, providing me with quite viable ideas about the world around me and how certain types of people, ie, with narcissistic personality and traits, are developed and maintained, well and truly fostered in this western sociopolitical and economic ideology.
I am reluctant to read this book again right now as it’s definitely heavy going, but I do think it’s worth reading again in the future.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mostly enjoyed the first half but felt like part 2 was reaching a bit. Fascinating case studies in Lance Armstrong and Ayn Rand.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

In The Life of I: the New Culture of Narcissism, Anne Manne sheds some light on the psychology of narcissism. Through the use of some well known recent incidents such as the doping scandal surrounding Lance Armstrong; the massacre of seventy-seven young Norwegians by Anders Breivik; and even the role of Alan Greenspan in the GFC, Manne uncovers the inner workings of the narcissist, and provides psychological insight that goes a long way to discerning the reason for these people’s actions.

While outwardly these cases appear to have little in common, on a psychological level they are not overly dissimilar from each other, and in each instance, the reasons provided to the world for their actions appear to be little more than a facade. They are instead driven by what Manne calls the “darker core aspects of narcissism” to gain attention at any cost. Manne dissects each of these individuals (amongst others) and uses them to tell a larger story about the society as a whole. Society is, after all, made up of individuals, and it is society who makes us who we are.

The case of Armstrong was particularly interesting as the utilisation of such a public figure, whose life was essentially laid bare for the world to see, provides a fascinating insight into how the narcissist works. Being able to view his childhood and his career in light of the information provided by Manne puts the entire scandal into a whole new perspective, and provides a new way of viewing Armstrong both before and after the scandal broke.

For a reader who isn’t overly familiar with psychology and personality disorders, The Life of I was a little difficult to read at times. At the halfway point I was beginning to feel swamped with information and found myself wondering how I was going to finish, but thankfully approximately the last 40 percent was notes and references.

Despite the information overload, for the most part the book was written in such a way that even a layman like me could understand what I was reading. The level of research undertaken for this book is admirable and although there are perhaps a couple of sources that are utilised more heavily than others, in general the arguments provided are backed up with plenty of reliable data, some of which would make for some interesting further reading.

Reading The Life of I was an illuminating experience both on a personal and social level. I came away from it recognising some aspects of myself that could be considered narcissistic, but also understanding how I have come to be that way which enables me to change. Along with that, I now have a different lens through which to view current events and the way human society works.

Any book that can cause the reader to not only reflect on themselves as an individual can only be a good thing; one that causes the reader to also reflect on society as a whole is a book that needs to be read by everyone.

[David Rush · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book. Not a great book, but still quite good.

The first half is the better half since she does a really good job of weaving what upbringing can lead to the worst of the worst narcissist. It is all pretty factual, and reporter like presented in an very readable manner.

The very worst example opens the book, with Anders Behring Breivik who murders over 30 people in Norway. Then there is the social theory on how narcissist develop and how the traits show up in Breivik. Then this section ends with the fascinating story of Lance Armstrong and how his personality was built upon classic narcissistic foundations.

Anyway, all of that is told very well...then she moves on to society as a whole. For me it starts to dilute the message. Partly I think because she moves from specifics to broad social behavior which requires equally broad logical jumps. In this part countries and modern society in general are given specific attributes and meanings.

Sometimes this works I guess but there are few caveats when explaining how the young think about the world or how helicopter parents are ruining their children.

And there is a bunch of what she say I agree with but, but really it is just a gut feeling I have and she seconds my emotions. But then again there are some footnotes to for feeling that the richer people become the meaner they are. I guess I am saying the second half is interesting but something of a mixed bag.

“Narcissism in this light is not maladaptive at all.....not just thrown up by the inexorable cultural logic of the new economy, but positively required by it.”

“...the evidence shows that, as people get more affluent, they can become more entitled, more grandiose, meaner and less charitable, and even more likely to cheat. Call it the asshole effect.”

“Rather, like the True Believers of communism, the new market fundamentalists elevated one principle above all others: economic freedom and the free market.”

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting and insightful book about the growth of narcissism in modern society and how it's risen from and contributed to the current philosophies of Western living. The author starts with the personal - what family and environmental factors are more likely to breed narcissists (the chapter on Lance Armstrong is especially illuminating) through to the broader economic and social perspective.

I thought that in some places the author stretched the narcissist analogy a bit too thinly, trying to make it fit her own views, particularly in the last chapter on climate change. While I don't doubt that narcissism amongst some scientists and policy makers has contributed to denial about climate change, I certainly don't think it's the only factor, or even the main factor. Overall the book was thought-provoking but depressing - the author doesn't come to any conclusions about how we can tackle the various issues she raises.

I think a final chapter in which she summed up all the main issues in the book and rounded them off with some thoughts on addressing the problems that narcissism has created would have completed the book more satisfactorily.

[D.A. Cairns · Rating 3 out of 5]

At times I was riveted, reading the stories of Anders Brevik and Lance Armstrong. At other times I was disgusted: I skipped most of the section dealing with sexual violence. At times I was mystified, overwhelmed by psychological jargon, struggling to follow the author's train of thought. When Manne launched into a long discussion of the climate change debate, I wondered If I was reading a different book. When she related it back to narcissism, it made sense, but I was left wanting to hear more about people like Brevik and Armstrong rather than read through a somewhat preachy anti-climate change denialist warning.

A very thought provoking read: the premise of which - or should I say the thesis of which is that selfishness is bad for individuals, society and the planet - I agree with. However, it seemed a little unfocused sometimes. Maybe it was just me, and I couldn't handle the stuff about sexual violence. I find nothing more abhorrent than that, so I can't read it about or watch it in movies.

The LIfe of I provides a very accurate assessment of the human condition without offering any substantive remedy.

[Vicky · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a very interesting view on our modern society, state of economy and moral values. Here is a healthy mix of psychological and sociological research into the ways of education, parenting, wealth division and everyday philosophy of ordinary people and more affluent citizens. The picture is not pretty. Even if it is only relevant to most prosperous countries, this view on modern society makes you worry about the direction we are all going. Hopefully, there are a lot of common sense left to be aware of the narcissistic tendencies and to control what we can in our personal environment.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Invaluable read on the increasingly confronting issue of narcissism. The first two thirds chapters are enthralling but the latter ones are a bit of a drag as the author appears to stretch her capabilities a bit into specialist areas.

The early chapters on human behaviour provide insight into the need for awareness of the probable causes of narcissism and the way in which it affects such things as simple male female relationships. Highly recommended for those chapters alone.

fastest book reading I have ever done.

[Meyers Cooper Debbie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Book Source: Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

I started this book thinking that it would help me understand the generation that I'm currently teaching. It was a very scholarly book. At times it felt like a textbook from college. I don't recommend this book to someone who wants a quick overview. This is an in-depth book that will cover research, case studies, and historical events to give you an extensive overview of narcissism in today's world.

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very in-depth, richly textured discussion of narcissism. Of particular interest are the case studies analysing real people that have demonstrated narcissistic personalities. Like the best books, there are things to disagree with. The writing is engaging and easy to read. The greatest temptation in reading a book like this one is that of labelling people you know -- so take care! It is hard to disagree with the thesis that our culture is becoming increasingly self-centred.

[Ruby Broadhurst · Rating 5 out of 5]

An extremely interesting read with thorough research and well dissected case examples. I particularly enjoyed Manne's section on 'Narcissism and Society' which explores the market's commodification of 'the self' in the context of neoliberalism and capitalism. I read this quite quickly and really appreciated the way each part was sectioned, labeled and categorised. Interesting and extremely relevant.

[Amy Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Manne succeeds in empathising with, and validating, those touched by narcissistic personality disorder. She does this through the provision of well-researched etiological information and stunning case examples. Each chapter is imbued with her dry wit and innovative thinking, making this read truly "un-put-down-able".

[Felix · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was an interesting look into neoliberalism's impacts at a psychological level.

I don't think narcissism alone can explain some of the behaviours discussed in the book, and I felt like there was some over-stretching in order to fit the theory onto the examples. It was nevertheless a very thought provoking book.

[Ally · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thorough and well-written critique of narcissism in today's culture, but doesn't really provide any solutions. There is a powerlessness related to dealing with narcissists at all levels of society; it's really quite depressing. I'm yet to read a book on narcissism that has anything particularly helpful for reducing their impact.

[Lyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

A mostly interesting book and I was especially intrigued by the analysis of childhoods gone wrong and the role that can play in forming "King Baby" characteristics. The sections on the feminist and sexual revolutions and the one on Ayn Rand were fascinating and thought-provoking.
But towards the end I got a bit fed up with it; she was working too hard to prove her theory.

[Jane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not an optimistic view of today's society. The neoliberalist consumer driven culture that Anne Manne describes in her book needs to change if we want our planet to survive into the future. A sobering and thought provoking book.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book that goes a lot deeper than pointing the finger at selfies and the younger generation, and encourages the reader to think about the kind of society we live in - and the kind we might want to create together.

[Peter Jochinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful insightful beginning outlining the character traits of narcist behavior. It also gives a good historical account of how these type of people have manipulated us through time.
A true gem of a book to have on your bookshelf.

[Bronwyn Evans · Rating 4 out of 5]

A thought provoking and insightful read.

[Mei · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fascinating read but it does get quite dry in a few areas.

[Gisela]

Excellent book so far ... am up to p. 86. Need to return the book to the library. To be continued!!!